Good evening.

>> My name is Brandon Rollins set up a special project manager at the NC division, a mental health developmental disabilities and substance abuse services with the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services.

I want to thank all my viewers for being here today to be on our program on the stoops to many teen sets.

>> Now you may ask what if the scoop.

Great question.

It's good.

It's a tool created by the NC Department of Health and Human services to help out our man assess its specially during the challenging times.

So this is for saying connected to family and friends, social connection build resiliency.

C is for compassion.

Compassion for yourself and others self-compassion decree to tomah $0.6 and Seth.

Its 4 absurd the use of substance.

Early intervention can vent can prevent problems.

The second.

It's OK to act to help cycling is normal.

Asking for help in empowering.

And P is for physical activity to improve your mood exercise boosts news and lowered his I D. Right now more than ever we all need to take care of a mental wellness.

It has shown an increased turn to people feeling anxious and over Mount and it must not the rift of COVID-19.

It's also loneliness a lot of financial security and among the among of this.

But it's important to remember that feeling down.

I'm worried if normal and you're definitely not alone.

Help us spread the word by sharing this camp you can have sex for Seth.

He checked in which a lot of time on hope faith and open up to you let them do the same for you.

We also have to hope for in fee Helpline at 1, 8, 5, 5, 5 a 7, 3, 4, 6, E and they'll go at any time day or night 7 days a week.

It's okay and great acts for help and even if you're great cuts in school.

It's a great way to keep you feeling well.

We all have the capability to manage set and help others doing so will get through this difficult time together build resilience.

And rose song and healthy.

So the data from the CDC has shown in a Creek trend of people feeling anxious and turn to substance use.

We talked about that in the previous series fit it worthwhile to think about what fee to come hot it will contribute to use a says and feel free to add to invade protect to talk about the thing that you may feel sets about.

There is a lock on 9 now.

Now some example to why people a recess that may include not feeling.

Well that said.

Feeling a little of the works or if you're unemployed or underemployed.

Feeling like did your contribution to not acknowledge in society.

People who are owed environmental home physical surrounding they need to be tidy financial insecurity or instability.

The lack of the ability to see friends or family in person and feeling of restlessness lack a change in the environment.

So tonight's focus will be on the second hour of the scoop.

Okay to act for help.

So I'm going it normal asking for help it's empowering you learn why it's so important to understand that we all have outside both regardless of our abilities couriers social and economic factset and so forth.

No one is immune from needing help in one form or another.

You also note more why asking for help in powers to mental well-being rather than harming it.

Even though our current society perceived acting for help that the weakness and so we're going to draft a stigma that prevent asking for help in the first place.

We hope you take a lot out of it and then but we really want you to take away from the following.

Asking for help it's a sign.

As I mentioned earlier contrary to popular belief asking for help it's a sign of courage and site not a weakness.

How to recognize someone needing help.

So what are some of the potential fines, you may see that somebody meeting how and we're going to hear that from a panelist today.

We're going home going to talk about a jet and stigma.

But last but not least we're going to talk about know where to get help.

But before we decided I want to tax everybody in the audience today so.

She was the reason why people don't acts for how.

Feel free to share.

Yes it on facebook and on before you touch, it don't be afraid to shoot any of these or add anything that you think my people go next or how and all we view the answer why people don't next for how bad this is some good examples so cultural experiences.

Past experiences in power, Liz.

He may feel like you have a lack of knowledge so I'm feeling a lot in common in the situation.

You may be perceived as being at needy and why was southworth and really to the answer to the question of why people don't act so how if all of the above.

Many many other reasons.

So just looking at cultural experiences so and some call sold asking for help main theme to be at the power of the week, especially if you have a military background.

Past experience is sometimes asking for help resulted in an experience that it didn't work out for you what led to a less pleasant experience.

He may be call an incentive to where you felt that it didn't really work out when you act to help.

You mean little in common into in addition to feeling powerless.

You feel like you don't have the knowledge to move forth in this situation, u n. And some people feel like if you're asking for help you seen at median you taking time away from others.

And then sometimes you know people think it backs the houthi low at myself for it.

And that pretty self explanatory how Hoffa that can be.

So I'm extremely excited today.

Then we have 3 wonderful panel is pushing for but we have 3 wonderful panel is to start off with our meeting today to discuss that very important topics so we have with rain chances.

She is the intellectual development home team lead at the division not how developmental disabilities and substance abuse.

It's sister la Toya dealing with a low real quick.

Then we have all right tackle send who is a psychologist senior at the NC division, a mental health, developmental disabilities and substance abuse services argument with a live audience real quick.

And then we have Ricky Johnson he's a Marine veteran currently serving at the peer support specialists and outreach coordinator for hope with the asheville-buncombe community Christian ministry.

Thank you 3 for being here tonight I 4 to talk about the really important topics on which fight off with a couple of question.

So my first question tonight.

It's why it's asking for help important to you and I will start off with latoya.

>> Thank you break it.

So it's important to know that we all need help at some point in time.

The difficult part is taking the first step in actually recognizing that me oftentimes we find ourselves going on at auto pilot.

But we're going going going doing doing doing it, we don't necessarily recognize the effects.

Those stats stressors that are we are experiencing in our lives could we have an unknown bodies as well as mentally.

In recognizing that we need help work able to situate ourselves to attend help whether that's through natural supports community religious organizations or professional supports.

It allows us to keeping that support to be able to work 20 an even better version of ourselves.

I didn't I being our better selves helps us to function on a healthy level for ourselves and the others that we support.

>> Thank you and sorry, I love how you said you know being but acting for help make that to be in a better sense of a self I really love that.

In art you want to add why asking for help it's important to you.

>> Sure thank you Brandon.

It before I respond to that question I do want to say that it's important to be mindful that we are all experiencing the impacts of an ongoing and prolonged disaster.

No one has been able to avoid the impact of the coronavirus pandemic.

But like other disasters.

There are some folks among us who have been impacted disproportionately and I'm talking about people of color.

People who are core or of low well.

And people who have had inequitable access to adequate health care.

All of them have been disproportionately impacted because of racist policies in continued inequities and health disparities that exist in our country.

Why is asking for help important.

When I'm fearful, I'm a 10 to close in on myself in an effort to protect myself.

It is a way of coping.

But it is quite limiting.

Closing in on myself.

When feeling overwhelmed by fear.

Can reduce my capacity for self-reflection and for learning how to cope with and overcome things that are stressful.

So when I ask for help, I'm pushing that fear to the side to look for other possibilities.

Asking for help is hopeful.

I'm hopeful that I will feel better and become more confident and capable in coping with the stressors in my life.

Asking for help.

Is giving a gift to me and to my loved ones and that gift is self-care and caring for others.

Asking for help is a loving act.

It leads to action.

Asking for help is giving myself permission to be invulnerable in order to grow stronger.

Now some might wonder how do we become stronger when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable isn't that just weakness.

When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

We can see things more clearly.

We are more accepting of help from others.

And we give ourselves the opportunity to be able to cope better with stress.

>> That's a powerful statement, especially when you talk about asking for help become Queen think become hopeful and that I think to me is so empowering to everybody you could for looking for hope in the long term long state of covid and I just think that it's just a powerful statement I love that and I want to ask risk Ricky white asking for help so important to you.

>> Thank you Brandon, I will start by thanking doctor laws for her support of our organization of veterans services of the Carolinas.

Without her support and the support of a North Carolina dhhs we can do we do.

The reason to me, I'm asking for help is so important.

My experience a lot of times to to to to remain in our Missouri where we get comfortable in that we suffer in silence.

From my experience, my son suffered in silence and he took his life so for me to ask for help it's a true sign of strength, you're setting an example to other people.

Day by asking for help you spot and ask for help thankful they see you they feel safe.

So guys a lot of times we get comfortable Missouri, what I mean is is it can be in addiction incarceration, homeless it could be the situation that's where you just feel you feel like you can't come up out of it.

It's easier to stay and that's what I asked for help it's like I said it's a true true sign of strength.

>> To sign of strength.

You all have wonderful reason why asking for help at some point to you and your personal well-being and and everybody know who's listening today might be thinking okay asking for help mean this to me and not how I make me feel good.

So now I can I want to shift the conversation just a little bit so.

What are some of the physical or psychological sign you could recognize it.

It's somebody may be needing help and I think side with Ricky with that questions.

>> Sure I mean there's the obvious physical signs of somebody the struggle they can be their parents eating out of a dumpster.

Things we all recognize been about for me I look for the things that a lot of people don't pay attention to that came from my experience with my son.

My son went from this extreme dark place.

Depression and in the in the matter of a couple weeks he went to this very extreme he seemed very happy.

Looking back he was he was content the decision he was going to make to take his life he felt peace with that and there's you know he made his decision so for me.

If you see somebody go from this extreme behavior change is not necessarily doesn't necessarily mean they're going to take their life.

But just something that I happen to pop pay attention to parsley.

>> And then to latoya what health you want to add about what could be some of the physical what psychological sign team, see if somebody might be needing help.

>> Yes, some of the physiological signs that I'm experience could be a body aches and pains.

I know he like me tend to hold that stress right in the shoulders are in your body in different places and your body.

You can also see it as a fine job thing programming your T I wake up in the morning.

Yeah job pain is likely you might have been grinding your teeth and that could be associated with so stress that age so just that tired feeling all the time even when you feel like you thinking, plenty of rest and you've been exercise and treat your body well that are still very 14.

Ability to fall asleep or staying asleep.

So those are the those are very easy to talk tell signs that you may be experiencing some some stress in your life.

Sometimes also those gastrointestinal also stomach gets upset.

Way or.

I feel like you have butterflies in your stomach or something along those lines changes in appetite eating had its things like that so psychological effect that you may see could be those fleeting thoughts so is is like your your brain is operating a little bit faster day and you can keep up with it I was feeling the feeling a sense of hopelessness so kind of speaking to.

What I was talking about a little earlier as well too, but you may feel like there's no way out of this situation.

It also may look like retreating from dealing with the problem at hand or the stressor.

Even though the structure may still exist.

So you're just kind of ignore it and that they want it doesn't exist in trying to retreat and cause some other methods to deal with it.

You also may see a decrease of coding skills.

A lot of time stress can lead to burnout and so this is especially with this thing.

That's the one year anniversary of dealing with the pandemic that's something that could be that many coals could be experiencing is burnout from different stressors and a man carrying these last few months or even this entire year.

And filling a need to tout the not knowing where start.

So those are some.

He that.

You could be experiencing.

>> And that's a great point that story that you share that it definitely had been one year since covid started and we are now in a completely different more than we were before and I think also cycling and you know to coping with the SAS related to COVID-19 and I want to ask art to what are some of the psychological or physical sign team a note with somebody could note it may need some help when some form of help.

>> Okay I would like to wouldn't it.

Latoya covered most of the the physical.

Symptoms that I was going to speak on and when I thought about those I also realize that some of those physical symptoms that we're talking about headaches and gastrointestinal distress and a racing heart and publications and muscle tightness.

They are all associated with anxiety and with stress.

But they are also associated with other health issues other other possible health.

Problem so just to be careful if you do experience these you might want to consider going to your primary care physician just to get checked out to make sure there's not another reason.

For some of the symptoms that you're feeling.

But some of the U.S. and other psychological symptoms that we a lot of us have have experienced I know I have.

And probably the one that so much has so many people have has experience is grieving.

There has been so much loss in our in our society so much loss from the debt.

The so many people who have died.

And there's probably people it in who are listening to this including myself who know people who had friends who died from covid so there's loss of loved ones there is loss of jobs.

Loss of economic Security like like Brandon, you you mentioned at the beginning.

The loss of health having diminished health as a result of of covid.

And certainly we've all had our routines disrupted and so there's a loss there.

Our routines kind of keep us anchored and when we have to disrupt those routines.

That is stressful.

Other types of psychological symptoms.

Some of which latoya has already mentioned but it can't hurt to to say it again but is sadness.

I think is one that a lot of people have experienced in this pandemic just being sad about not being able to be with our friends and our loved ones and do the things that we were doing that made us happy.

Certainly fear and anxiety are we have been really hightened monk most of us.

Interpersonal difficulties I think a lot of people have experienced more aired ability.

Having more in patients perhaps with themselves and perhaps with their children or their other loved ones are the people who they live with.

We're co-workers I think a lot of people would also have some difficulty concentrating on their work.

Whether it's it's the work in their home taking care of of the the household taking care of the children taking care of our elders or the work that we do and get paid for a lot of us have had difficulty concentrating on that work.

A lot of people have felt more lonely like you like he said Brandon.

Becoming more withdrawn.

And self-isolating in partly that has been what we've been instructed to do is to stay away from other people in order to.

Avoid being infected.

But that too has psychological impacts as we've talked about loneliness and being withdrawn.

As as latoya said there are people who have had sleep changes some people are sleeping too little.

I can't get enough sleep summer sleeping too much some they're staying in bed for.

With the way more time than they usually do.

For whatever reason might be depression or other.

Just not feeling well.

Or people might have disruptions in their sleep also they may wake up in the middle of the night and have difficulty falling back to sleep.

There are those who have changes in eating habits as well.

Some people may be doing what we would call stress eating just over eating or eating too much of the wrong foods too much caffeine or alcohol some people may have turned or increase their use of out of tobacco.

Or vaping products.

And then there are those more serious and those are serious symptoms psychological symptoms, but when if you've experienced difficulty taking care of yourself or your children or other dependents.

That is it time to really ask for some professional help.

If you find yourself thinking about hurting yourself or you believe someone else is at risk of hurting themselves or hurting others there are.

There's a national suicide prevention lifeline and I will mention that phone number it's 1 800 2, 7, 3, 8, 2, 5, 5, That's 1, 802 7, 3, 8, 2, 5, 5, So I just want to mention that no mention it again at the end.

>> And so what we've heard it to the wide range of 4 of sense and that could be indicated to why people need have and that leads me to my next question because we've heard why asking for help and important.

What are some of the potential sign phenomena acts everybody you know so.

In turn in your expertise or you know from your prospects of can you describe maybe some of the potential effects that could happen to someone.

Who needs help but doesn't receive ID and not outside with art again.

>> OK well if someone needs help and doesn't receive it.

They are likely to experience continued stressors and feel more overwhelmed.

And that will likely lead to severe disruptions in their relationships with their own family members with loved ones with friends and co-workers and others and unfortunately if household has had some domestic violence.

It prior to the pandemic there's a higher risk that domestic violence will Rick heard during during this these months that we've been pretty much confined to her home so we need to be aware of that.

There's also a range of mental Health and substance use issues that may need more professional help.

And so we've already mentioned use increased use of alcohol.

There's been an increase use of drugs including prescription drugs like opioids mood disorders including depression have increased among many folks anxiety disorders particularly after being infected because there's so much uncertainty about the about what will happen what will happen to you if you become infected will you recover or will you end up being hospitalized or worse there are 2 diagnoses also to to disorders that occur after Trump was and I'm sure Ricky is aware of these having been in the military and working with vets but accuse stress acute stress disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder or to the disorders that curve that can occur.

After someone experiences, a trial.

And certainly those are or disorders that need professional help.

>> So are close you talked about linked to how big can really to continue to get more thing people are not getting the help over the mean and he mentioned something about a Reiki so I want to talk and send it over to Ricky and having to expand about you know what could happen to a person who doesn't receive the help they need to all turn that over to you Vicki.

>> Yeah, Brandon within the within the veteran population, not receive an help has proven be fatal.

Actually every day to the last suicide.

One individual was is needing help in their helpless and the help doesn't come through.

It just kind of it kind of reiterate to them that they they had the feeling of helplessness they don't they feel like they're worthless and that they don't matter.

It just sends a lot of individual into a downward spiral that they don't come out of this and that's the unfortunate part.

Both in the veteran population suicide.

>> And that's not really an example of what can really happen to somebody else well on and it's a man and then I want to act Toya what could happen to a person who needs help and are not receiving the help they need.

>> Yes so I I really covered quite a few of them and of course, Rick teaches at its so some additional context to that.

I did talk about the increased use of substances and alcohol use.

But it's important to know what that to do that you know that's that maybe there that that that may be a person's choice, a method of trying to co, but it's not interesting those stressors and that's why it's so important to seek out.

Outside of subsys alcohol to be able to try to find some alternative methods to deal with it.

Also it.

It also looks like a lot of changes in the coping strategies that we would typically so you know maybe pre covid we were going out with friends, you know going out to this to the nail salon are actually going up for round meeting at a card or doing some of those activities that that we try to slowly get back into but we may not have gotten ourselves back into that and that can definitely have an impact on on a on a person's ability to just be able to plan for the future.

It would I would talk about anxiety, one of the things that I really thought about is you definitely have that anxiety.

He spoke about.

But there's also an exciting about the future.

You know and what exactly is going to happen for those individuals who may have children or children or adult children with special needs that's the big big thing that's affecting.

I think the community what is going to happen in the future you know if there are they work in some type of meaningful day activities or in some type of employment.

But is some type of activity before covid they're no longer part of will they ever get back to those activities and I think there's an insight III that can exist within that as well too and not being able to to plan for the future can can cause that as well too so not not be able to do that can lead to those added stress this which data could lead to some potential little health concerns that we need to that we need to address and then also the isolation.

Sometimes it feels like no one may understand what you're dealing with especially in a kid that goes back to.

I know it's not just individuals who have children with disabilities but just across the board right not understanding you know we we may think that we have an idea of what someone is going to be a bit of course that's just an idea it's not actually going through whatever that person is going through it.

So they can adjust goes back to being able to identify those and then taking the necessary steps to be able to eat to work on those because otherwise they could further exacerbate into a much of.

Much more deeper with a mental health concerns.

>> And that and I now want to kind of should the conversation around the country talked about you know what could happen to a person who doesn't receive have by now with thinking about in the other way so we're talking about common scenario is one that same person or somebody who needed help.

But actually received how and then so what are some of the potential outcomes that could happen I'm out of that and we've heard it a little bit earlier about the strain that come with them when somebody receive Tao.

And also with you again that why with that question.

>> So I'm going to complicate or this throughout the community.

A little bit here because I am certain that our Rick you're going to get on.

Some of the other other communities out there.

Obstacles can be this family size identify natural supports.

So in this is actually across the board is not just Friday between the guy so sometimes we can have that they are a large family in we could have or we could have a huge natural support that word that interested in providing some level of help to us.

But they're not sure how to support, but they're still fearful.

4, 5, o sometimes is that they never supported someone that perhaps has a disability and so they don't quite know how to still a staff does a lot of times we live towards it to help someone who may have that's how is this one of those things where that that that they just want me to kind of watch the show 100 where that's not necessarily how you may be able to get help sometimes thinking outside the box.

It could be that perhaps a person might be able to prepare one meal a week or going to do that grocery pickup for you, I'm picking up some medications are doing a load or 5 alone laundry so thinking outside the box in China find ways that natural supports can spend time with you and your loved one.

And of course safe safe ways.

That and then by doing so they naturally become more comfortable and get to a point of being able to come over.

But you may be able to take an hour to do something like read a book take a nap.

Take along that do some type of self care.

Sometimes we have to we frame what we think is actually.

Needed so that we can get meaningful forms of help.

Not just think of it just a traditional manner so getting help.

Another thing is just pope Francis.

So I believe that that is a wonderful resource.

It gives you an opportunity to to be able to get if get.

Sometimes we just need to talk to someone.

This neutral it doesn't know everything about you it does not trying to give you advice, but just someone who can just hear you out there's no Testament snow fall right around it's there and not only that they can provide you additional resources that can be utilized fianzas that comment reaching out.

>> Thank you la Toya and art what what do you for what we say that could happen to a person who needs want needed.

Haven't actually received how so Mark what is from the outcomes from your perspective that could happen with that.

>> If somebody receive the help that we're looking for.

They should expect that they will then know where and how and home to ask for help now that might not seem like much but it's so important it's so important for folks who have been traumatized already been through a disaster to know whom they could go to where they where they will feel safe where they can be safe.

That's the first step in recovery.

For someone who has been traumatized.

His first you need to perhaps provide a safe space for them.

So a person who does reach reach out for help and receives it we'll have improved coping skills, they'll feel calmer and more hopeful.

They'll have a greater feeling of connectedness to others and there will be more confident and more confident about what they're doing whether it's working with your children.

As a parent or an elder or working for your job.

And you also feel more capable to help others once you do once you learn how to help yourself you can pass that along to others who need help as well.

>> Vicky when it ready want to add to that about what happened to her person when they receive help and actually get the help they need.

>> I'm sure I'm going to give you an example of an individual that.

He he contact us for help and from a partially.

One individual contacts for help contacts us for help that's that to me that proves that that's displaying there will be willing to step to improve for me my word means everything to me I want to personify what I teach so this individual contact me for help.

Unfortunately for his situation he had some legal speed some legal matters where we could actually assist system with what he needed.

But this is what we did.

I told him that would meet him at a certain time and I make sure that I met him he did think that what he did think that are gone as are our organization was going to show up and we did.

We brought in a backpack and some supplies that he needed just boss giving him more time and being of our wired PTA credits us for carried him to carry him through the day and sometimes it solve somebody needs just for an individual just to show up give them that yeah I us to give them our time and the some time this all they need it's it's more than just handing somebody a backpack, it's just the Impreza with somebody.

>> So in this so we've heard today, you know what happens you know how getting how on Pope help its strength.

And what happens when you don't receded but when you do receive it and so this has been a lot of wealth of information saying before we shift on to our next segment.

I want to axe one final question for all 3 of you got 2 days to do you have any of the thought to you like to chat audience today before we start talking about addressing the stigma that prevents us from asking for help and also with latoya.

If you have any final FOX.

>> Yes so it's OK to ask for hello.

I'm certain that everyone on this on this alone our as stretching doing a lot to support others in their life and so take into consideration that you do so much for others.

You must take time to also take care of yourself.

>> Thank you letter you might take time to take every song by pink bat.

It's something that I have to mine and think about mice office Foster thank you for sharing that.

Make it back to the shore.

>> If you're in a situation where you don't need help or assistance.

A quote about partially live by with in my life is you have to be great from the beginning but you must begin to become great just try to keep in mind when somebody is reaching out for help or you encounter an individual in a homeless encampment.

To to to be therapeutic.

You don't have to be a therapist be willing to be president be willing to listen and those things that that that just requires effort.

A lot of times individually I counter.

They have very little control over their life as it is so the last thing that I want to do is try to impose upon them what I think they need and as I mentioned previously to a lot of times it's just about the the my time and been there to listen to them so.

Is this not a complicated process keep it simple and I'll be willing to listen.

>> Thank you, Rick III thank you and then art one any last final POS.

>> Yeah, I would urge people not to wait until your stress becomes unbearable to ask for help reach out earlier.

Much of the help that we that we all may need during this pandemic we may receive from our own family and friends and neighbors and community leaders, religious leaders and teachers.

But one additional help is needed.

There are the help lines.

The hope lines that I believe Brandon let Toya mentioned in one is hope for NC Helpline and that number is 8, 5, 5, 5, 8, 7, 3, 4, 6, 3, That's 8, 5, 5, 587-3463.

And there's a help hope line for health care workers as well.

And that is 9, 1, 9, 226-200-2919.

226-2002.

And I do want to mention one last time the National suicide prevention lifeline which is 1 800 2, 7, 3, 8, 2, 5, 5, So I I do want to say that most people will recover from this pandemic just with your own resilience.

And with this the supports that you have in your life around you.

Stay connected to yourselves into your loved ones check in with yourself frequently.

I use meditation and breathing exercises and they're probably many other coping mechanisms that can help us reduce stress.

And and to provide our own self care right, I would urge you to explore those as well.

And finally reach out in whatever ways you can to whatever extent you can to provide support to others.

Especially those who are in need of food or economic assistance, those who are alone.

Or who are likely to have been disproportionately impacted by the effects of the pandemic.

Consider joining efforts to create a more just equitable and inclusive world for all.

Because doing so is a good thing.

And it also will provide you many opportunities to increase your connectedness to others and may assist in your own recovery.

So thank you and stay healthy.

>> Thank you daryn thank you all for being here tonight chair in such wonderful inside information and I hope I'm and I'm thinking you know what the 17 them a nice as well over the years and I was really processing what you always say and I can see a city audience or anybody listening on facebook today think again and we fly thing what the year hadn't been on to them and now that led to 2 of the next kind of very important topic that I'm excited that we have here today so we're going to be talking about a draft and stigma out the preventive to Max and for how and I'm extremely pleased to introduce our next speaker who is doctor Michelle was she is the assistant director for consumers, support services and community stakeholder engagement at the North Carolina division Amanda how developmental disabilities and substance abuse services doctor Moss, thank you for being here that evening.

>> Brandon thank you it has been a pleasure and I have been sitting and taking notes.

I want to thank first of all one of my favorite people in the whole world.

Nikki Johnson for always responding to the call to come share.

Your knowledge your expertise your experience.

You are one of my rock stars and I again just want to thank you and applaud the work that you're doing you.

I know I've seen it you are saving lives and our state is just so so blessed to have you so thank you for being on the panel tonight and of course 2 of our champions it within the division latoya chancey and art eoc Wilson I want to thank you all so for sharing your expertise and your knowledge and hopefully with the information that was shared tonight with the audience people will indeed take the information that you shared and put it to good use and realize that it is OK to ask for help before I go into the stigma presentation I just want to summarize what I heard I was sitting listening and taking notes and so I was sort of summarize first of all Rick he talked about a lot of times people are comfortable in their misery right sometimes because of you have failed service systems and people not being able to get help at the time that they need help.

I'm comfortable due to become comfortable where they are and I happen to believe it's for a lot of reasons.

And one reason is because they knocked on doors asked for help and the help wasn't there and readily available and then people are comfortable and in the Missouri you know as of family member used to say I have a good time when I was out there use and and so there are a lot of reasons since thank you Vicki for bringing that to our attention you also stated that asking for help is a true sign of strength.

It's not a sign of weakness it's a true sign of strength and so I encourage anyone out there who is watching anyone that will download this and watching in the future please understand that asking for help is not a weakness.

It is quite the opposite it is a sign of strength and then Rick you mentioned something in sharing.

Just a heartbreaking story of his sun suicide.

>> That paying attention it he he learned to pay attention personally it's and it takes all of us.

>> When you walk past that person that may looks and or.

May look like they just totally checked out pay attention pay attention to not just the people in your home, so you live with pay attention to the people in your communities there so many people and that's why again I support the work that Vicky is doing and the organization that he works for is doing because they are paying attention not just to their loved ones and their friends.

And their family members but to the people who are veterans who are out there sleeping in the woods who are sleeping under bridges and who are sleeping on Park benches as a society.

We need to pay attention pay attention and offer help to people who look like they're struggling and who need help and ill tell you mention, filling a need to talk about.

But not knowing where to start filling a need to talk but not knowing where to start that is extremely important.

Lot of people just don't know how to start to ask for help where did as for help what to say.

And feelings of isolation and loneliness which we're definitely seeing a more of in this covid pandemic as we isolated right, we quarantined social distance and some people became Iceland say isolated themselves.

And and are needing someone to reach out and needing to know on that they are lifelines available in an art munching the process of grieving that we all have been going through in some way or another whether it's grieving the loss of a loved one jobs economic security diminish Al we are in a state of collective grieving in our country and we need to make sure that the supports are available to help people make it through that grieving process, the sadness the fear anxiety into personal difficulties.

Difficulties concentrating that that that that reflects how so many people are trying to navigate through.

This covid pandemic and navigate through a new normal and this life that we have been dealt through by the hands of covid and then Ricky also mention not getting help can be fatal when people don't get help.

It is literally can be literally a matter of life and death which is why I'm eager to and you have pleased to talk about.

Stigma and its role because not getting help can be fatal la Toya mentioned that the substances when people resort to substance use to soar on to self-medicate and to address the stressors in their life that it's important to remember that the substances don't address the underlying stresses they had in fact additional stressors.

>> And then looking for natural support and really framing what we think still support is looking for innovative and creative ways that one we can offer help and also that we can receive help.

>> And I sound as I've worked my way through this pandemic and dealt with my own mental health is that sometimes it's the little things it's a girlfriend calling who has been called in a long time and saying hi I'm just checking in on you that can make a huge difference and so I may have been thinking that I needed something else to make it through a tough night.

After a long day doing the work that we do and then it was just just a call.

So picking up the phone so looking refraining what we think health helped is and art mentioned that it's important for people to know who and where to go and get help and we're going to provide.

>> Additional resources in and some of those source resources have already been mentioned.

>> And then are also mention that help increases confidence and competence so I could you know self-efficacy the belief that I can get help the belief that I can overcome with Toya talks to reminded us of the importance of self-care right so that whole analogy that airplane analogy right the instructions.

We get.

>> Put your that your mask on first your security.

You know on your oxygen on first and then help when you see your oxygen in your energy is being depleted figure out what it is that you need to do what coping mechanisms as art mention meditation and yoga works for him need to what coping mechanisms work best for you it may not be that it may just be taking a walk out and then Ricky said that you don't have to be great from the beginning just start.

It is so important you you know perfection should not be what you are striving to to be and one little step forward in the right direction.

Keep it simple and be willing to listen.

All right says don't wait until your stress levels are unbearable before you ask for help so I want to just thank you all for teaching all of us about how we can look for the signs what size we need to look for and encouraging all of us that it's OK to ask for help and reminding us of the consequences of when we don't and what can happen.

So I want to shift to our focus on stigma because no matter how many supports you have in place.

You can have the best public system you can have the best medical system.

You have the best behavioral health system in place.

But there is a barrier that many people.

Deal with and have to overcome that keeps them from asking for help and keeps them from seeking help and that huge Feria that that that elephant in the room, always it seems is stigma.

And so I'm hoping that after tonight's presentation.

We will all want to be better informed and that we will also do better and one way that we can make a huge difference is to start leaning in together to eradicate stigma.

So what is stigma.

Let's start there stigma is the perception of and re action to individuals or groups that is based on stereotypes and prejudices and results in discrimination discriminating towards individuals or a group based on physical characteristics, race ethnicity sexual identity and gender and disability status.

Health conditions so mental illness.

Persons with HIV.

And AIDS, social standing or status or mention poverty.

People living in poverty so these are different types of groups and characteristics that are often the recipients of stigma or that are often referred to as stigmatized on statuses next slide please.

There are different types of stigma, different types of stigma in the 2 dominant tight.

I include public stigma, which is the real action that the general population has to people with in.

An example a mental illness or any of the other stigmatized as its right pour people in believing that they are lazy and unworthy and it's persons with a mental illness believing that you know they're just putting on an act and.

Or they are being afraid of then they are you know using the word that I hope we all can they can you know put in a bottle and throw somewhere that they are crazy they are out of their mind right these are these are the ways in which.

The public in in in next practicing public stigma has responded or we acted 2 people with a stigmatize historically stigmatize status and then there's self stigma.

There is that internalization of stigma so stigma is the prejudice which people with a mental illness or stigmatized ahead is turned against themselves.

Dates internalize the stigma so people who see a veteran on the street who is intoxicated you'd wrong.

You bomb that you know good for nothing right.

Hearing that over and over and over again.

People who don't have help.

Can internalize that stigma and again to you know it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy right began to see themselves and in the stigmatized way that society has projected up on them.

So both public and self stigma manifests from the from 3 constructs and that's important stereotypes right unfounded notions believes assumptions about a particular group.

Based on you know it's a physical characteristic.

Health condition, disability and the like prejudice prejudging so because this person is or individual comes from a stigmatized group then they must be X fright because this person has mental illness they cannot work they're not a reliable employer, because this person is in recovery from substance use disorder then I can't trust them.

Because this person has a disability who they're incompetent and an able to do the job and so prejudging and then discrimination as a result of prejudging making this prejudge mitt I will deny them a job.

I will deny them housing.

I will deny them an opportunity to work I will deny them an opportunity.

To you know actually be a part of a particular committee or group because Dell's people all right so this notion of other ing those people.

>> Who have a mental illness who have HIV AIDS who have a physical disability or developmental disability.

>> Or who has a substance use disorder no matter where they come from they are X making a pre judgment and therefore they don't deserve or they are unworthy and so stigma is a very dangerous.

Response next side.

And the difference between social stigma which is public and this self stigma internalized let's think about it this way and this just discharged sort of table compares and contrasts with public stigma against Syria type of negative believe about a person.

They're dangerous.

They're incompetent.

I people with mental illness have character or substance use disorders have character weaknesses they could stop drinking if they if if they were stronger they could stop use and if they were smarter so there's something and I can't trust them right so this character weakness.

This that's the form of Syria type right and then per prejudice agreement with belief and or negative emotional reaction so the prejudice is prejudging the population that that has the stigma associated with it and then discrimination again the behavioral response to to to to prejudice and it plays out again avoid is.

>> I don't want them in my house.

I don't want them in my place of employment I don't want to I don't want to work beside them.

>> They're not worthy for us to go out and help try we got to know we don't need to put funding in this particular tough to find this particular group of population and then it's of course self stigma I think I'm packed that it was negative.

Police about self of believing that you're incompetent believing that your disability is in some way also side of your cognitive.

And your intellectual prowess or ability.

And in prejudging yourself having low self-esteem low self efficacy well they did say I was X and so I probably shouldn't go as for a job or I probably am not really worthy of housing probably need to stay out here on the streets because I'm not worthy at done so much stuff in my addiction.

Out of recovery add I've I've just I've wreaked havoc on so many lives, I'm not worthy I'm not deserve these are all internalize forms of stigma.

That's associated too.

Mental health.

Conditions substance use disorders and I d D and then of course discriminating behavior is the behavior response in it.

You know, so therefore I'm not going to look for a job and therefore I'm not going to look for opportunities and housing.

Next slide please.

>> And this is just another way of sewing how this plays out so you know there's prejudice and stereotypes emerge beliefs against unfounded belief against individuals or groups based on physical characteristic conditions, social status and the like.

That leads to an action that a cause which is the discrimination.

Often times embedded in that is implicit bias so people who may discriminate against a person with a mental.

>> Health condition or a substance use disorder or a disability of physical or developmental disability.

>> Or not bad people right.

There are some people who really are not aware of the their biases they're there but the implicit miss of it right so they're not aware of the fact that just by not seeking a person in recovery to serve on a board or to work in your stab lish mitt are are in in your business just not.

Opening up housing opportunities for persons with mental health condition or substance use disorder.

And you're thinking oh it's just I just I don't want I don't know where they are or I don't know you know that they're going to be OK or they may not work.

>> This this community may not be the best community for them.

These housing complexes may not apartment opportunities may not be the best for them as so implicit bias that plays out in ways not in a mean hostile way but sometimes in ways that we're not aware of ostracizing and other ring those people.

>> Those.

>> The soldiers don't deserved services because they acted out of the norm.

I the other.

Veterans we're helping but these over here we're not right so this the ring and shining.

You know making people feel that they're unworthy and is very similar to a caste system.

The Untouchables in India's caste system for example right we we should get too close to these people these are all ways in which stigma plays out and it can also be over and so when we see it again and social stigma, self stigma, structural stigma is another way and then the response is often parcel stigma right so you know before we know it.

So many people have stigmatized other people that it has become sort of the norm to stigmatize this group it has become the way in which the public is responding to this group and again not in a in an egregious kind of way war with agree Justin and you know the ferries intent but sometimes doing it and not even aware that the the harm that it's causing next slide.

Please.

And I just use this example I won't go in it all too much but you know.

There's evidence researchers have shown how stigma has powerful influence on behavior.

In the presence of discrimination so I use suicide as one example so suicidal ideation this is actually a path model that has been that was tested and and and found a statistically significant correlation or Association relationship between stigma and discrimination and suicidal ideation next slide please.

And so we think about stigma stigmatization off and deepens existing fault lines based on class cast race or any outsider status by those dynamics can result in negative outcomes that reinforce the stereotypes and prejudices that created the stigma and then the cycle repeats itself leaving marginalized or stigmatized individuals and groups stuck in this vicious cycle and web of discrimination leaving people stuck with afraid to ask for help.

So if I ask for help then they may arrest me or if I ask for help I may get an I V C. >> If I ask for help and I'm not and people don't think I'm I'm I'm in my right mind and that's with it with quotes air quote in my right mind.

Or that I'm crazy right.

These are all negative stereotypical connotations and references that we are that I'm just a you know a draw.

>> I don't deserve help.

But when I asked for help because I've seen the way in which public stigma has led to negative an adverse outcomes and experiences, I'm just not asked for help.

And it goes on and then again the cycle repeats itself next slide.

So the effects of stigma can undermine social cohesion.

Community inclusion making people feel like they're not a part of the community and encourage social isolation.

They can also drive people to hide an illness and to avoid discrimination to avoid filling shot and to avoid the shame that comes with the stigma that's aside and suffer in silence and began to self treat yourself Medicaid.

It can also prevent people from seeking needed health care and they are disease worsening or is there's according to city.

In terms of how much stay spiral into a an untreated.

Disease stay right or.

Health outcome.

So I'm not gonna go and ask for treatment of out of my minutes, but they made me feel so bad and so ashamed the last time I showed up at facility or provider X that I don't want to deal with that and so I won't go and get my mitts and then I end up off my meds and then that causes me to spiral downward.

Also can discourage people from adopting healthy behaviors people with physical disabilities or developmental disabilities may not want to go outside may not want to you know going join.

A group a publicly because of fear of being looked at strangely looked at in a different way stigma.

Lead and it can also lead to devastating outcomes as was mentioned suicidal ideation disease could in a city X is a exacerbation of illness and reinforcing trauma.

All of these can be traumatic so compounding effect of trauma.

Next slide.

So how can we help how can we all play a role in eradicating stigma and the supportive resource.

The very first thing I want to start out with a quote from Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

The Bishop Archbishop Desmond Tutu and I'm quoting stated that all of our humanity is dependent upon recognizing the humanity and others Ricky goes out the cause.

He sees people in me.

>> Not because he's you know we've he thinks he's better and he's Jonah you know a putt analysts to core patronize ing et.

He says the humanity.

In people just as we want to people to see the humanity in us and so it's we can start by redick aiding stigma by understanding that different doesn't mean deficient.

Nor does it mean inferior.

And I love a book I used to do some work in terms of advocating for children, poor children.

Poverty is not a disability nor is it a sign or a measure of a child's ability to perform.

Well in school.

I so it's so different doesn't mean deficient or in theory a prejudice and discrimination are based on a sense of superiority.

So if we all come down is my dream I say combat off your high horse.

If we all come down and get on ground level.

With everyone around us then we get to see people where they are as opposed to at a state of of of polar opposite superior forces in Syria.

One group or type should be perceived as more deserving of or better than another and recognizing that everyone deserves to be treated with human dignity.

Respect and they'll hear these does is extremely important to eradicating stigma.

I tell everyone I work for a public agency and when I hear people say your to your teen really cares.

Your team is out here helping dot the laws.

You know, Suzanne and Kaye and Wesson Stacy an ash fall and brand you all read it you're really out here and I I will say I have to say we are public servants.

I don't know what you encountered in spud lick systems before.

But we are public servants were not hire and did we are public service and so seeing people meeting people and seeing people in their humanity next slide please.

So how can you help to eradicate stigma and be a supportive researchers first check yourself are you resisting stigma pushing back on stigma or you reinforcing a few responses based on behaviors.

Police inflict perceptions to check fear and exclusion do you you know purses with severe mental illness should be feared and therefore he kept out of most communities.

That's reinforcing stigma.

When you believe that I'm afraid of those people I'm not going down there to help him and I my dear that might get whatever right I'm not going to write so that's really without perpetuating.

>> Some of the things that that the ingredients that go into making statement right prejudice prejudging stereotypes.

>> Authoritarianism this belief that persons with severe mental illness.

Or a substance use disorder or irresponsible so their life decision should be made by others I want to make this decision but they know they need to be committed know they need to be.

Yeah removed from here because that as opposed to asking what do you believe what is it that you want what is it that you need to get better.

The Netherlands persons with severe mental illness or towel like and need to be cared for so I've got to take care, you know they can't make this is and then being a complicit bystander remaining silent when others are reinforcing stigmas or stigmatizing others in any system no matter where we are on the inside on the outside advocates, whatever we should not be complicit.

Bystanders when we had served stigma being operation allies and practice.

Next.

And so what you can do to overcome self stigma.

If you've internalized the stigma that has been directed towards you understand what stigma is it's really not about you don't internalize another person's or group's behavior.

Seek professional help and we've underscore that and we emphasize emphasize that throughout our program today.

Share your experience shine a light on what is happening for stigma out in front.

Share your experiences interacting with people in our city in our behavioral health and I d d system set tell us at the state who is who is stigmatizing who is in the system working and treating the people that we serve in a stigmatized way and be an advocate speak up.

Wonderful one of my favorite author Zora Neale Hurston is quoting here if you are silent about your pain.

They will they will kill you and say that you enjoyed it and then join a network.

Next slide.

And again these are resources that are available.

Hope for Insee.

Was stood up during this pandemic but will remain because we've seen the value of it and again that hope for Insee Helpline is 1, 8, 5, 5, 5 a 7 3, 4, 6, 3, and we also have hope for healers.

We all recognize because of stigma.

We have people in medical professionals and in the health care profession and behavioral health and I d d who are professionals who are afraid to ask for help because they don't want to be other they don't want to be shown they don't want to be the recipients of stigma and so there's a hope for Hiller's so that you don't have to suffer in silence and you too can ask for help and that number is 919-226-2002 and then of course the National suicide prevention lifeline was given at before, but I want to give it again.

1, 802 738-2551 802 7, 3, 8, 2, 5, 5 and we also have alcohol and drug Council of North Carolina and that number is 1, 806 8 a 4, 2, 3, 2, 1, 806 8 a 4 to 3 to and you can also text 9, 1, 9, 9, 0, 8, 3, 1, 9, 6, and if you have problems gambling there's a problem gambling hotline, 1, 8, 7, 7, 7, 1, 8, 5, 5, 4, 3, And then one of the ones that I know that Ricky and.

All those who work Jeff Smith on my team who does an amazing job keeping the connected to really important in really effect of programs and services and tells me what we need to be late in 2 Insee for vets.

>> 8, 4, 4 in sea for vets 4, 8, 4, 4, 6 to 4 8, 3, 8, 7, >> And of course you can always call my amazing team.

9 while 9, 8, 4, 236-5300 and you'll get connected with someone in our consumer rights and customer service, the toll-free number 4 there is a 5, 5, to 6 to 1, 9, 4, 6, and if you likes to speak to someone in Spanish.

1, 806 6 to 7, 0, 3, 0, the main thing is I gave us the challenger, he stated no who and how we've given you resources here and we hope I hope that we have encouraged and inspired you by our panel and by my presentation on stigma that you will indeed understand know and accept the fact that we're trying to share it is okay to ask for help asking for help as Ricky said is a strength.

And now we will began with our Q and A from our audience.

>> Yes, we'll see if you have any question but I before we can all the questions and I have to say that I think that our presentation today have been so.

Provoking of how why how asking for help in society and in understanding beat on all the different levels in cycle to stigma that prevents us from asking for how and I just spent the entire time just thinking in processing and everything I want to ask our all of our panelists on the on that today have you gotten funding so just really just thinking him a man and it's really pop a voting.

And how we can really to work together to help one another here in the attic eradicate stigma.

Pin also at the same time how to sell so.

Yeah, he got you want to add anything to dad, I mean this is just an amazing things.

So.

>> Thank you Brandon, and you've done an amazing job moderating and being facilitator tonight and we're so appreciative if you would just jump in here so Kate they are.

Hello K. Well I found writing down what situations cat short trigger me as a negative believe about myself and dig deeper into that lately I try to do things that remind me I'm worthy of self-love and the things I want for my health like healthy eating or eating healthy meals that make me feel good rather than turning to comfort foods doing things that are part of what I want for me helps and the negative thought process.

Thanks for sharing that case and I'm wondering Brandon able and panelists.

What are some things that you found when you feel like you've been triggered all start with with you Ricky what are some things that you found that helps you.

>> Sure and in regards to Kate's comment.

A lot of times and things that are the most beneficial the most beneficial to us to not the most enjoyable so for me purposely self-imposed at varsity up on myself every single day by going to the gym.

>> I don't always go as they there's days that I don't really want to necessarily want to go, but I know if I go.

>> And I force myself to feel a lot better after just like that feeling of overcoming something so like I mentioned just because something is enjoy what doesn't mean it's the most beneficial.

>> I want and I know as soon as you started its self-imposed or as they go get easier as they go to the gym to work out and I'm OK with thank yous.

And we can sell that you thought committed to that any any other things that help any any of our any of our panelists tonight.

When you're feeling triggered when you when you realize that you need to I'm I'm with art meditation.

Yoga not as frequently as I should used to do it, but also walking out in nature just getting outside and breathing.

And learning how to breathe like latoya said I tend to hold all of my stress up top.

And just learning.

How to breathe.

How debris.

>> That sometimes to let you know for me sometimes there's a lot of back to back meetings or a lot of e-mails coming at me or something you want all my kids school sometimes I just need to stand up and walk away from whatever that he is walking away I want to wait for meeting for instance, I love nature.

So I'm going to walk.

Downstairs look out my back door and look for some birds.

Take in some deep breaths and I'm very intentional about it to kind of help me get back to a better space so than I'm able to function as a function better than I would if I can get myself down still functional level.

>> Infamy like to share that so I'm guilty of feeling.

Tense inside tonight carrying that with me all the time and that's just because you know how they tell you blood in my side of the family and me to to hold a grinding Beach it hold it in.

But but I from really really helpful and this is see part of next week.

The next topic is physical activity.

My wife and I before our kids we have 2 kids one it's 5, 1, on the turn into before they get up in the morning.

We my wife and I will get up and be actually do work out together and we just get all that energy all this South and by the time we're down we both just feel so good and it's supporting one another and that has just been an incredible source of joy for me and also I mentioned kids.

I love to mount a man and chased after them when I think nothing to my work and all that's going on and to put it away inside indict a coal mine in play with the kids and just having the last is one of the best thing that could alleviate the stress out of me.

Now when the screaming on the other hand that's a different story about a new many of the talented who the parent knows that.

And I see that we also have another common but in it especially refreshing to hear that you all know there is take my in the system to thank the path to sharing absolutely Pat and we we we you know we're trying to under the leadership of director Victor Armstrong and our deputy secretary Cody Kinsley and we're really trying to.

>> Be mindful and intentional about our practices within and as well as our policies.

And how we're holding our system accountable and part of that is you know making sure that we are not reinforcing and perpetuating the things that contribute to having people not ask for help and one of the things is recognizing that there is stigma.

All right.

I wanted to hear are also is was there anything that he was going to share in terms of when when filling a trigger for whatever that may before year.

What is your response.

>> Yeah, like like you, Michelle and Ricky mention that exercise I I love to exercise and.

Fortunately I have a daughter who runs cross country and so when she lets me run with her.

It just feels great sometimes she'll slow down so I can we can talk all along the way other other times up my eating her desk, but yeah the other thing that I you know when I'm triggered I hadn't thought about that word but I do get triggered and I find that I have learned that when I get triggered I often times started narrative in my head.

And it and I cut after fires often like what's the what's the worst thing that can happen and I start thinking down those lines in and lately I've been able to catch myself and just do some self talk.

And you know step away like.

I think what I was talking about just step away.

Pause take a deep breath.

And and realize that it doesn't have to be that way my my own narrative of catastrophe does not have to.

Come to a true come true >> so you know I I cartels and and you know Oprah others.

And have been identified that for the fact that you can identify that voice that you that you admit that you can recognize that there's a voice inside of your head talking is the state is the first step to true consciousness and self-awareness that that's not you because you are recognizing that that voice is talking.

To you that chatter that that that those fleeting thoughts and and so forth so that is really important time to just say OK.

I always hear that voice that always predicts the worst outcome.

Right and it is such a negative voice and negative created right and so being able to silence that is important.

We don't have any questions and so in wrapping up while we.

Go around and let the panelists say any last thoughts about.

It being OK to ask for help if there are let's choose 3 things that you want to leave this audience with in terms of asking it being OK to ask for help were 3 main things you want to drive home.

And let's start with.

>> Well I think the the theme of this started out and has been throughout this that our talk tonight that ask you for help makes us stronger.

And you know I I used a different word, but it's we're all talking about the same thing and I said it's OK to make ourselves vulnerable.

It may seem like weakness to some.

But when we make ourselves vulnerable.

We give ourselves that opportunity to be great.

We give ourselves the opportunity to overcome our stress.

And that is empowering and so that is the main.

The main point that I that I've seen and thought about today.

The other thing that I have thought about and this is a combination this combines.

Both the work Michelle that we're doing.

In the division on diversity equity and inclusion and just to that we need to be aware that not everybody is going to be able to cope the same way that for some folks people of color for instance, there are so many other structural and system systemic.

Obstacles that have to be overcome so.

You know and and Michelle you've mentioned that that's something that we're working on and so I'm so excited to be able to join with others to do that as well.

Latoya.

>> 3 think so too or not.

>> So one thing will be deadly being able to identify statements.

Right because that definitely in packs delay that we not only do with our own.

>> Little health concerns but also.

>> How we deal with others that we interact with in our community and how we position ourselves to be able to support them.

>> I so being able to identify those because that a lot of talk about so many different pieces because a lot of lift is not as cut and dry is just one small definition of state is much larger than that so I would say definitely being able to recognize that the other thing is we have to take care of ourselves.

We can support others that were not healthy and our own way to be able to position ourselves to support others so we have to find different ways to engage is self-care it's a recognized when we need a break.

We don't want to wait until we get for now and then decide OK I have to do something we have to be able to recognize the early signs starts pulling small little interest and small changes that can lead to some some long-term effects that are good for us and lastly reach out to others.

Right now there's so much that's going on right now and that allows earlier talked about a friend colleague.

Those small House still stop check ins.

They go there in a long way and why we try to engage with our family, our friends, our neighbors.

He will get to a place where they're actually not to engage with us to make it to a point where they feel comfortable.

Letting us know something that we can give them a resource one of the resources that were made to hear today.

But even just be able to just be there for them.

To help them through their yeah that process he says well tape.

>> Thank you thank you latoya very good making.

>> Yes, I'm I want to share something that my wife has a student and it's it's it's pretty much basic communication.

If we don't share with one another.

Well we need high, we know how to support one another without without communication and without us voicing what we need there's going to be expectations.

Disappointment resentment and then ultimately a fraction within the situation.

And the second point I'd like to make in regards to asking for help.

Promise that you're not the only person going through what you're going through.

But by you asking for help you're setting an example to your peers and my so you ask for help and they see strengthen you and they say it's that they see they see sites is safe.

So by them senior they maybe that might that might cause him to ask for help as well.

Thank you.

>> And I will say before I turn it over we're going in like we started and and brand is going to share with us our upcoming scooping cause us out so my 3 things one would be that stigma is another person's problem the person that is perpetuating and doing the stigma.

Or stigmatizing and so don't internalize resist the urge resist the tendency to internalize what other other people are dumping up on you or are signing and and don't let other people's problems block you or keep you from asking for help.

I get the help you need push through looking at stigma.

As your issue vs their issue and I'm talking about public stigma that point.

Ask for help get the help you need and don't let anyone stand or no system stand in your way keep knocking knocking not know very good friend of mine.

Is is an actor actually to to act to friends of mine that I had just.

>> Edward James Olmos Sao Paulo remember from back in the day Miami vice to all 9 and and maliki obama both said in different ways to me.

I like you you never take no for an answer and this is when I became friends with them, getting them to the old job way back in the 90's.

To speak at the National youth crime prevention conference that I used to be the lead coordinator for for the for the National crime prevention Council and I I would I would always be able to get them to come and speak for little or nothing.

>> And they said the reason why you where the stop calling you win stop asking.

To that take that same approach I take that same approach.

>> In terms of my health and I encourage you to do the same thing don't stop asking once you start don't stop asking if people are not treating you with human dignity and respect then shine a light.

I don't believe in suffering in silence and so that's those are the main things and then as a distress again understanding that we're all in this together you are not alone.

You are not alone.

This is been a hard year for all of us and it is absolutely OK to ask for help.

Brandon.

>> Yet some are 3 things are self care is absolutely important and it's okay if you have a need to take time to take in the South because I love the oxygen act analogy when you're on the airplane.

The tell you to take to put the mask on take care of this offer to for help others and I think that's relay double because if you're now taking care of the South then it becomes hard for you to take care of others set that's just a big take away from me that I think and in shouldn't have to feel guilty for taking time for the South and that's sending the Earth and a hard year for all of us is that we are just has to come together to support one another, and you know what all that together and you know we work together and we're all in this together and we can achieve some many good thing.

I just just having some compassion and just we are helping each other out and so in the last thing really is just some help.

It's a sight.

It always has been and always will be the card was stolen 4th sorrow.

This is has been incredible discussion tonight and I and so thankful that had all TV helping me from that conversation together said this it's been amazing so before we go ahead and share to more resources.

I want everybody to keep in mind that we do have one more scoop presentation and that it P for physical activity.

That's going to take place on March 20th right here on facebook from 06:00PM to 08:00PM.

Mark you calendars.

Fighting and I'm sorry 30th Kerr thank you so thank you for helping with.

So March 30th.

From 68 P 08:00PM to mark you calendars and also you can watch it's recording and all the previous record and on facebook that well.

Now thinking about no new 3 W's to remember the 3 W 20 need to leave the House wear cloth face covering wait 6 feet apart and wash your hands often and if you don't have handcuffed after assisting can't find it either is fine.

You can also cast text COVID-19 too 898-2114 up to date COVID-19 information in North Carolina.

At the best scene rolled out continue to just keep in mind that the information it constantly changing but you have a spot to take your shot.

So more information about the COVID-19 messing, including where you can find the bathroom spot.

And that same group can be found by visiting w w a T team PS Cohen slash last COVID-19.

>> Not and CD ha says dot and see not gov slash best scene information constantly enough data to check back for that spot in his shop on.

Nothing about the mask.

So what is your reason my next protects you your Mac protect me we all know that the cost of wearing a mask is far less than the team in a covid on you know even north of losing a friend family member or neighbor to share with the jury Dunn on faith for accusing hashtag get behind the mask.

The carriers are available in English and in Spanish on the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services for upside.

And he talked about the event if it were competing again.

Pope Francis e it's a 24 7 help line that helped connect North County and through traditional mental health, its support during the COVID-19 crisis.

You know we beat the number again is 1, 8, 5, 5, By the 7.

3, 4, 6, 3, You can also tax hope to that number if you prefer to text or you can use to chappy should buy visiting www.

Don H#* for in C .org.

And last but not least the division mental health, developmental disabilities and substance abuse services has a consumer service and community dry teen who it's very to have fanned by in a six-year John normal business hours so the phone number is 1, 8, 5, 5, 2, 6, 2, My 9 for sick that for free or 94.

236-5300.

They will help you.

For that you provide further insists enjoy normal business hours.

If you need to have health to asis thing any services you need on behalf of all of us here I like to thank you often very for being here tonight and we'll see you next time.