- [Announcer] Funding for this episode of "Que Pasa NJ" with Carlos Medina has been provided by Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield of New Jersey, the New Jersey Economic Development of Authority, Hackensack Meridian Health, the Engineer's Labor Employer Cooperative 825, PSE&G, ROI-NJ Business Magazine.

- Ola familia.

Welcome to this month's episode of "Que Pasa?"

This month we're very lucky to have legendary pitcher, Dwight "Doc" Gooden.

Actor, Tony Award winner, Ruben Santiago-Hudson, and the very talented Mandy Gonzalez, star of "Hamilton, "Wicked" and "In the Heights."

And don't forget to ask yourself, "Que Pasa?"

(upbeat music) And our first guest is legendary pitcher, Dwight "Doc" Gooden.

Thank you for joining "Que Pasa?"

- Hey, how you doing, buddy?

Thanks for having me.

- Pleasure to have you here.

A big fan.

You were drafted '82.

- Yes.

- Played in the minors in '83 and then came up 1984 with The Mets.

- Yes.

Yeah, I was drafting '82 outta Hillsborough High School.

Tampa, Florida.

Played my first year at Keyes Point, Tennessee, which is (indistinct) ball for two months.

The next year in 1983 was my first full year.

Played in Lynchburg, Virginia.

Got called at Triple-A for the playoffs, and David Johnson was a manager.

I pitched well in the playoffs in Triple-A World Series.

And David said wherever he managed the following year, he was going to have me on his team.

So I'm thinking, wow, at least I'll be in Triple A, you know, at 19 years old.

Unfortunately, George Bamberger resigned.

David got a big league job and the rest was history from there.

- When you pitched in, I would say '84, '85, '86, many of my friends and experts say that in the top of your game there, they put those three years up against any pitcher in baseball.

- Wow.

That's good to hear.

I mean, being on top of your game.

And then I give a lot of credit to my father who taught me all about the mechanics and pitching his hitters.

And one thing he told me, which was hard to do, he goes, when you get to the majors, try not to pay attention to the names on the back of the jerseys.

But it's hard not to know you're facing a Pete Rose or Mike Schmidt or Dale Murphy.

But what he meant by that was just try to make the pitches, tight hitters.

Go at your best self until the hitters show you can hit it, then you make the adjustments.

So he gave me a lot of good advice.

- That's amazing.

1986 and a great season that many people will remember, (Carlos laughing) for years and years to come.

Tell us about that season.

I mean, just talk about pieces just coming together.

You had Strawberry, yourself on the team.

- '86 was amazing because in 85, we won 98 games and had to go home, 'cause back then it was only the two divisions.

They didn't have the wild card teams back then.

So.

And after going home, that year and coming so close, once we got the spring training in '86, our only goal was to win the World Series and to credit to a lot of guys on the team, like I said, Danny Heep, Kevin Mitchell, Tim Teufel, those guys who had (indistinct) could have been starters for other organizations, they all put their egos and pride aside for one coming goal, and that was to win the World Series.

- Now the little bit of start of a chink in the armor.

You missed the parade in 1986, the big, the New York City parade.

- Yes.

- And then '87 is when you first test positive for cocaine and got a suspension.

Tell me about that time, you know, what's going on in your life at that time?

You're a young superstar.

A lot of fame being in the New York market, obviously.

- Yes it's a lot of pressure.

Very difficult time for myself.

A lot of my trouble started in Tampa.

It just escalated to New York.

A lot of people thought if I had been playing anywhere but New York, it'd been different.

But I say New York was a perfect place for me.

But it happened in Tampa.

Unfortunately, I started with marijuana, drinking alcohol and escalated the cocaine.

Unfortunately, when I missed parade, which should have been when one World Series should have been the happiest day of my baseball life, turned into one of the worst days of my baseball life.

And what I mean by that is after we, you know, celebrate with the team, I remember going back to the trainer's room, calling my father.

He and my father crying on the other end, celebrating with him.

Unfortunately, the next call went to a drug dealer to get drugs and, you know, just went to the next day.

Ended up watching a parade on TV.

One of the worst things, that kept me sick for a long time.

Not being able to forgive myself, because you can't redo that.

In '87, like I said, going to spring training, testing a positive.

At the time, it was probably one of the best things to happen because I was in total denial.

Didn't think I had a problem, but obviously the problem was bigger than I expected it and it just escalated from that point.

Got the help I needed.

Stayed good for seven years, but then I had a relapse in 1994 as well.

- So 1996, you joined the Yankees.

And Steinbrenner, I know you're very grateful.

It gives you a chance to join the organization.

And I know you have to make a decision 'cause your dad's in the hospital and you end up deciding you're gonna go the next day and visit him, but you're gonna pitch.

And that's when you pitch the infamous no-hitter for the Yankees.

Tell me about that day.

I mean, I've watched the footage over and over.

It's really an amazing, very emotional - Yes, I still get chills - Time.

talking about it now, 'cause my dad taught me baseball.

I remember growing up as a kid, you know, not having much.

Me and my dad at times, sharing the same coat for winter.

But that day, you know, I was supposed to go home.

Like you mentioned, he was having open heart surgery the next day.

He had been on dialysis for 15 years.

So his heart was deteriorating and doctor said if he didn't have the surgery, he probably wouldn't make it a week.

And if he did have the surgery, he probably wouldn't make it because of the health conditions.

So I had a flight to go home, but that morning I thought he'll probably want me to pitch.

And so I called Joe Torre, who was the manager of the team, said, I'm coming in, I'm gonna pitch.

He said, no, go home, take as much time you need.

Whenever you're ready you come back.

I said, no, I'll see you guys tonight.

I'm gonna pitch.

The next call went to my mom.

She didn't take it that well.

She said, no, you have to come home.

Your dad's expecting you.

We need your support.

All your family's gonna be here.

You have to be home.

And I ended up hanging up on my mom, something you don't do.

But I was just feeling that guilty, so I had to hang up.

And the whole day going to the park, you just feel like clouds over my head.

And once I got to the park, my good friend and pitching coach, Mel Stottlemyr, who I had early in my career at the Mets, was there.

So he talked to me, make sure I was okay.

I said I'm fine.

In the first round of that game, you know, I was in-between the clubhouse and the dugout in the walkway, wondering if I made the right decision or not.

Sometimes tearing up, not knowing I'm gonna see my dad again.

Not until the sixth inning, I realized I had the no hitter.

You see no runs, no hits, no errors on the scoreboard.

So I was able to put my dad's situation on the side, finish the game pitching and then pitch no-hitter.

And the last game I threw to Paul Sorrento who made the last out was a hanging curve ball.

I mean, basically just sitting right there on the tee.

There's one way you throw it and you're like, oh.

But he pops it up and it seemed like the ball's up in the air forever.

When Jeter caught that ball and I'm jumping up and down, all I can think about when teams came off the field was the year before I was suspended, pitching at Yankee Stadium.

Earlier that season, I was taken out a rotation.

Got back in rotation when David Cone had the aneurysm.

Is my dad gonna be okay?

And so, I think, obviously you don't sleep.

He's up all night.

I took a ball from the game.

I was gonna give it to my dad the next day.

When I got to Tampa, to the hospital, he had been on life support.

He had the surgery.

The doctor said he did see the game.

Never made it home.

The last game, he saw many pitch, that no-hitter.

So that's what made it that much special.

- Wow, wow.

Yeah, that is a very touching moment.

Now during your suspension and some of those times in the 90s, I know I've heard you speak about even putting a gun to your head, feeling so depressed and that things were out of control that you've considered even taking your life.

- Yeah, that was a tough time.

1995, baseball my whole life.

That's all I ever knew.

That's all I ever did.

And I remember reading a letter from Bud Selig saying you're suspended for an entire '95 season.

I read a letter over and over.

And I was so down in the dumps, instead of just trying to lift myself up and, you know, get a sponsor, do all the things they tell you to do, I felt a lot of guilt, a lot of shame, a lot of embarrassment.

Hurt my parents, hurt my kids.

Just felt just terrible.

The worst I ever felt.

And at the time you get the thoughts that go through your head, like, maybe I'd be better off if I wasn't here.

So you get a gun, you're thinking about it.

Contemplating it, you have the gun.

But lucky enough, I didn't have enough strength to pull the trigger.

I wasn't that strong to do it.

Thank God today I wasn't strong enough to do that.

And I remember my wife coming in and screaming, my mom coming in and screaming, and so I got rid of that.

And a good friend, Ray Negron, I got in touch with Ray.

I got in touch with a gentleman, Ron Doc, who became my sponsor to get back on track.

And I said, you know, I'm made a do it myself and the good Lord.

I said, just get me through today.

I'll deal with tomorrow as it come and just to get back on track and start loving myself again.

But it took a lot of work, had a lot of support.

Mr. Steinberg was one of those guys that was in my corner as well and he just said, get your life together.

Don't worry about baseball right now.

And I thank God I had some good people to do that and fight through it.

I've had ups and downs since.

But when I had those ups and downs, I didn't feel as bad as I did at that moment.

I just felt like, hey, okay, made a mistake.

What went wrong?

Let's jump back in it.

- Sure.

You mentioned the Lord.

Tell me about your relationship with the church during this crisis in your life.

- Oh definitely.

That's what really saved me.

They talk about the meetings, but once I got involved in the Lord and talking to Him every day and He's brought me from places that nobody else could have brought me.

I remember a time actually, like, question, is it a Lord?

Is it not a Lord?

But it's definitely, in my book it's definitely a Lord and higher power for the things I've been through, and to get through the things I've been through, because there's been many times where I was getting high or in my addiction trying to take myself out.

I didn't have a strength of the power to pull a trigger, but I would try to go out that way, which is very selfish in my own way.

But I was just that sick until, I think, I wanna say 2020, I went to a mental institution, it's called High Focus.

And to get help, at first I was kinda like, well, I can't go there because, you know, I'm Dwight Gooden.

But at the same time I'm Dwight Gooden, a sick addict.

I gotta get better or I'm gonna die.

I mean, you've been to jail, there's been institutions.

The only thing I haven't been was the cemetery.

And that was gonna be the next thing if I hadn't got the help.

So I had to put the pride and ego aside and let my family know that, hey, this is where I'm going.

This is where I need to be.

This is where I belong.

Once I went there, I got to learn about myself, learn about different things in the past.

And the main thing was to forgive myself.

I carried a lot of guilt, but I had to understand that the guilt that I was carrying could have been reservations for me to go back out.

So I had to be very careful that and find someone that I was comfortable with talking to and not worried about whether they're gonna judge me or how they're gonna look at me, to separate the baseball player from the a real life situation.

- Sure.

I've had the pleasure of seeing you interact with kids at some of the nonprofit activities that you participate in.

Your very blunt and I know kids appreciate that.

Tell me how that has been.

Has that been healing for you to talk to children and be very honest about the troubles and warn them, you know, don't do what I did?

- It has been.

At a time before I was in- When I was still in denial, it was hard for me to talk about it because I still had the reservation to use.

But once I say, okay, I did those things, yes, but today that's not me.

'Cause I understand what pain feels like.

I understand what pains look like and just by sharing my message and turning my message into a message and helping someone else who is suffering or someone who has a loved one who is suffering and just sharing and to give 'em anything from my own experience, what I've been through.

And if it can help 'em, you know, fine.

But also they gotta understand, it helps me as well.

Just talking.

Just talking about it and being okay with talking about it and not worrying about how I'm gonna be judged.

- Exactly.

I understand you've worked with our director, Mr. Quayle, on a project called The Tryout.

Tell me a little bit about that.

- Yeah, that was a lot of fun down in St. Petersburg, Florida.

And the thing what made it special for me, (coughing) Excuse me, what made it special for me was (indistinct) the complex where we did it at, that's where I had my first big league spring training at.

So a lot of great memories came back right there and my parents, before my mom passed, she used to live maybe three miles from that area.

So a lot of emotional, you know, memories there, a lot of connections there.

A good friend of mine, Ray Negron, who I mentioned earlier, who played a part of my support group, brought me in for the project, and I think it's a great project.

And hopefully, you know, get good previews and does well.

- Any message you'll give to the youth that maybe are struggling with drugs or depression?

I mean, the world has changed since you and I grew up as social media, as bullying, cyber bullying.

Any message?

'Cause at the end of the day, we're all human beings and we need to, you know, move forward.

- I think the one thing is when I talk to kids, I say always find that one person that you feel comfortable with, that you could talk to about anything, whatever it is.

Whether it's your parents as a school teacher, whether it's the best friend, a neighbor, bus driver, whoever it is, find that one person you can talk to and feel comfortable with and really sharing how you really feel and not worried about whether you're gonna be judged or not.

And being cool is not hanging out on the street corners trying to fit in.

I was one of those guys that when I would go back to Tampa.

I wanted to be like, I want them to know that I was still one of the same guys.

They got me in a whole lot of trouble, close to death many times.

And then even still now, even though I'm clean and sober, but the consequences is still there.

And I just say two kids, just be yourself.

Try to live your best life every day.

Some days you're gonna fall short, but the most important thing is find somewhere you feel comfortable with talking to about whatever the situation is.

- Thank you.

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story.

We really appreciate it.

- Well, thank you.

Thank you for having us.

- And up next we have actor, director and playwright, Ruben Santiago-Hudson.

(upbeat music) Welcome back.

We are very lucky to have the opportunity to speak with Ruben Santiago Brown, an award-winning writer, director and actor.

We sent camera crew all the way to San Diego to speak with him.

You're gonna hear great things about his career and about a new play he's in, in San Diego.

Check it out.

- The roles as an actor that I pursue and that I accept are the roles that I think somehow give you a different perception as the audience of who I am as a person of color, whole, completely.

So things that I can add to some humanity to, they interest me.

Things that change your perception in the stereotypes that have been built about people of color.

Well, as a screenwriter, I've written several films including "Ma Rainey's Black Bottom," the screenplay and "Lackawanna Blues," which is my autobiography, screenplay and play.

It took a process.

It was an unveiling of personal memories more than anything, and then I had to find, obviously, structure.

How do you write a movie?

What makes a great movie?

What are the arcs of the movie?

What are the inciting incidents?

All technical stuff.

But once you get the technical stuff, then what it is is storytelling.

How do I disseminate, execute the best story to you, the audience, that's clear, entertaining and enlightening?

Everybody, you know, Jimmy Smits, Delroy Lindo, Jeffrey Wright, Rosie Perez, S. Epatha Merkerson, Ernie Hudson, you name it.

We had the most def- We had the big lineup and I was in there as well.

I didn't plan to be there 'cause it's my story, and I wanted other actors to do it, not me.

'Cause I do it as a one man stage play.

I played 26 characters.

I did it on Broadway and was nominated for a best actor.

But the movie, I let each actor tell their own story of who these characters are, but they're real characters.

"Lackawanna Blues."

What what attracted me most to a directing "Destiny of Desire" was a need for me at this part of my career to spend more time dealing with my Latin roots.

And so I was actively looking for plays by Latin writers.

And when this one came to me, "Destiny of Desire," it was, I immediately responded with a resounding yes because it fit the bill for what I wanted.

It was poetic.

It was humorous, it was profound, and it had all Latin cast.

So I was like, yeah, this is something I need to do.

I need in my heart to do.

I assembled the cast because I was looking for great balance of all.

One of my goals was to not cast the net narrowly into one Latin country, but a multiple Latin countries was my goal.

So we have people in there from Chile, Columbia, Cuba, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Mexico, you know, Venezuela.

I want the net to be wide.

In the world, we're are a big community, not a singular community.

There are singular countries and cultures that should be honored, but it's a multiplicity of countries that bring the whole Latin diaspora together.

And I wanted to show that in this play, and I did.

Basically, I say if you, if you love entertainment, enlightenment and exciting evening in the theater afternoon, this is the place to be.

Get your tickets now.

"Destiny of Desire" is destined to be a huge, huge hit.

And get the tickets now before we go to New York.

'Cause New York, it's take your money.

Here, it's accessible.

So I hope everybody comes to enjoy themselves to see "Destiny of Desire."

- Thanks so much to Ruben for giving us the time to talk about his new play.

And up next we have actor, singer, Mandy Gonzalez.

(upbeat music) And up next, again, from San Diego, we were lucky to have actress and singer Mandy Gonzalez.

You may know her from 2005's production of "In the Heights" from Broadway.

She was also on the play "Wicked" and in "Hamilton."

We're very lucky to have her.

Check it out.

- The first time I met Lin-Manuel Miranda was in 2004 for the reading of "In the Heights."

And when you do a reading of a new musical, usually you sit around a table and everybody reads out of the script.

But I remember the first day he said, I know none of you know the songs, so I'm just gonna sing all of the songs.

And Alex Lacamoire started at the piano and he started with "Lights up on Washington Heights."

And I was sitting next to my friend Andrea Burns, and we just looked at each other and it was like, who is this guy?

It was electric.

It was like, and that's how it is.

It hasn't surprised me that he's made such an impact on the world because he is such a light.

And that includes his family, his beautiful parents, Luis and Lou.

I'm actually working with them right now on an incredible scholarship for their Posse Foundation which offers scholarships to Latinos that are going to certain colleges in the arts.

And so I've been able to, while I've been here in San Diego working for The Old Globe, I've been able to work with a student at Cal Arts digitally.

But we're actually gonna meet tomorrow for the first time in person.

And then they're gonna have a big gala and she's gonna sing the song Breed that I sang from "In The Heights" for everybody in New York.

So what they do is they use their talents and the good to better our community.

And it's a privilege and an honor to be part of that.

Lin Manuel Miranda wrote the song, "Fearless" for me, for my album.

He wrote the title track and it started with a social movement that I started called #FearlessSquad.

I had a lot of young people writing to me about feelings of loneliness, feelings of not belonging.

And I wanted to create a platform for them to find each other so that no one ever feels alone.

And so I created #FearlessSquad.

I had no idea that thousands of people would wanna be part of it.

And when I asked Lin if he would write a song for my album, he said, yeah, I'm gonna write a song and it's gonna be called "Fearless" for the Fearless Squad.

And so he asked me what fearless meant to me, and I told him the story about my parents and how my parents are both from California.

They met his pen pals.

My father was in the Vietnam War.

He was drafted when he was 18.

My mom wanted to join the Peace Corps.

Long story short, they met through letters.

She became his pen pal.

And after my father's service in the war, he came and he showed up on her doorstep and they fell in love.

And I told Lin this story, Lin-Manuel, and he wrote this incredible song.

So it's a tribute to my parents.

I remember when I first played it for him, we were driving up the grapevine to see my family in Reedley and they looked at each other and they said, wow, this is our story.

This is for us.

And only somebody like Lin-Manuel Miranda can do that.

"Fearless" is the story of Monica Garcia, who's an 11 year old that grew up in Reedley, California.

She has a love of singing and a dream of one day being on Broadway.

And along with her (speaking in foreign language) they travel to New York and she starts as the understudy to the understudy on Broadway.

And she meets her Fearless Squad.

They save the theater, the theater's haunted.

She has to tell stories of Mexican folklore in order to break this curse in the theater.

And I really created this story because as a kid, I loved going to the library.

I'm a huge reader and I always wanted to see stories with characters that looked like me or that had the same interests.

And I have to tell you, I had a hard time finding those, as well as my friends on Broadway.

And so I decided instead of continuing to look for it, I was going to write it.

And so that's how this "Fearless" series started for me, and it's just kind of grown.

I was just on Libro.fm.

My audiobook is part of, I think I reached number 48.

So I'm very excited and I'm very proud of the work that I've done.

So my character in "Destiny of Desire" is Hortencia del Rio.

And she really is the matriarch of the show.

She is the one that is in a telenovela, that the character that always something happens, but she always has to rise above it.

And she loves her community, she loves her family, but there's a lot of twists and turns that happen to Hortencia.

But she keeps going and her strength rises to the top.

Working with Latinos in the theater community on a project, not only on stage, but the entire creative team is, it's incredible.

It's been an incredible experience.

I feel so much pride when I walk into the room because we've all come from different places, but we share the same heritage, the same cultural heritage.

And so I feel just so proud whenever we sing together, whenever we stand together, because our stories are so important and we are part of the American stories, the American dream, and I think it's important for people to hear these stories.

And so I feel very proud.

I want to say that a life in the arts is possible.

There's a place for everyone.

Like my dad always used to say, mija, there's room for everybody.

And it's so true.

When I was first moving to New York, my mom gave me a poem by Pablo Neruda and it said, traveler, there is no trail.

The path is made by walking.

So sometimes it's just about the start, just putting one foot in front of the other and your path will open up.

It may not look exactly how you think it's gonna look, but I guarantee the adventure will be so worth it.

So go for it.

- Thanks so much to Mandy Gonzalez for giving us the time to be on "Que Pasa?"

We found out she actually lives in New Jersey.

She does a lot for charity and she's had an amazing career.

Kudos to her.

She's a real good person and very deserving of it.

And ladies and gentlemen, that's a wrap.

You heard inspiring story from Doc Gooden, Ruben's story of being an actor and a director and Mandy Gonzalez, really just a sweetheart.

And don't forget to ask yourselves, ladies and gentlemen.

Que Pasa?

- [Announcer] Funding for this episode of "Que Pasa NJ" with Carlos Medina has been provided by Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield of New Jersey, the New Jersey Economic Development Authority, Hackensack Meridian Health, the Engineer's Labor Employer Cooperative 825, PSE&G, ROI-NJ Business Magazine.

Thanks to the Statewide Hispanic Chamber of Commerce of New Jersey.

Find out more about our familia at shccnj.org.

This has been a production of the Modesto Educational Foundation.

(upbeat music)