- [Narrator] Students Empowered To End Dependency, SEED.

The producers of the "Voices of Hope" series want to thank Pineland Farms Natural Meats for sponsoring tonight's episode.

Exploiting the weak has always been part of the human story.

This activity is never darker than when an act of intimacy, meant to convey love, becomes a coercion for power and money.

Thank you for joining us tonight for another episode of "Voices of Hope, the Rugged Road to Recovery."

(soothing music) - I am a survivor of sex trafficking, human trafficking in general.

Sexual abuse as a child and addiction.

- I am a Maine native.

I grew up in Cape Elizabeth.

By my senior year in high school, I was stripping at a local strip club.

So I would strip at night and then go to school in the morning.

- At 15, I was in Biddeford on Pike Street living in an awful situation.

And I saw a couple of girls on the second floor.

I was in a basement apartment and they said, "Hey, we have boyfriends and you go on dates.

And they make sure we're safe, and they make sure we get money.

You're sexual anyway, you might as well get paid for it."

And they made it sound just amazing.

Again, I was 15 years old, and I said yes.

- Everything that he was sharing was what had happened to me when I was 15 here in Maine and throughout New England.

I was trafficked and I didn't know that there was a name for what happened to me, and I didn't know that it wasn't my fault.

I had been in silence up until that point for 16 years, and never told anybody what happened to me.

- [Narrator] Amanda, Jessica, Catherine, and Trisha bravely share how they were exploited and coerced in a dark, hidden business that is growing in Maine.

(soothing music) These are the voices of Maine people who have experienced the dark world of sex exploitation, often in the throes of drug and alcohol addiction.

This series is intended to draw attention to this reality, while humanizing, educating, and demonstrating the potential for change.

The people we profile embody that transformation, and serve as inspiration for those still struggling.

Please join us as we introduce you to "Maine's Voices of Hope."

- As a child, I moved around a lot.

Both my parents were in the military, and so we kind of bounced around from the time I was two weeks old until the time I was four or five years old when we came back to Maine to settle in after my grandmother passed.

I was probably around four years old.

I went to a daycare center in Cumberland, North Yarmouth area, a very quiet town, where they were basically trafficking children out.

They had this house that was the playhouse, and kids were brought to the playhouse to perform sexual acts for different people that were brought in.

And eventually the place got shut down.

There was notice some children reported some sexual stuff.

At the time I didn't report anything.

There was many of us who didn't.

I experienced even more sexual trauma from a neighbor.

My best friend's brother and his mother also babysat me for several years.

And it was about six years old when he started to sexually abuse me.

And somewhere between eight and nine when he stopped.

I didn't talk about any of it for a long time.

I kept it inside, bottled it up, and it just led me to a place of nightmares that I didn't understand.

It led me to a feeling depressed and worthless, feeling that my body could only be used for these sexual acts and I didn't understand it 'cause I was still really young.

I can't do the social aspect of it.

From the time I was 13 and everyone in my whole town basically found out that I had been sexually abused.

I went to like a transitional living program in Lewiston for a little while after being in a couple of emergency shelters, and then being on the streets.

And I just wanted to be somewhere safe.

I found a couple of people who let me live in their van with them as long as I was willing to steal things.

So as I was bringing in drugs from other towns or other states, I began to dabble into them.

I touched heroin after saying to myself for years I would never ever touch it.

And I became addicted to it very fast.

I remember thinking, "Oh, I can put this down anytime I want."

And I couldn't, I was 20 when I had my first overdose that required CPR.

I was pronounced dead for six minutes.

(dramatic music) I endured a very abusive relationship with my ex-husband for quite a while.

And after my second son was born, I finally had the courage to leave him.

- [Narrator] After leaving one abusive relationship, sadly Jessica began another, which led her back to drug use.

- The partner I had at the time was not healthy for me at all.

He encouraged thieves more, and he began acquiring debts with people.

And these debts that he was getting were with gang members from New York, and Boston, Connecticut.

And they wanted their money.

These people came into my home, and they told me they were going to be staying there to sell their stuff and that I would be making the deliveries.

And so anything and everything that they wanted I had to do from providing sexual acts for them to being brought down to Connecticut to a house where there was, it was just an empty room with a mattress on the floor, stains all over the carpet, stains on the walls.

And while I was there, several people came in and I had to provide whatever sexual acts they wanted.

And if I didn't, I was beaten.

I had guns to my head.

I watched people's knees get shot off for not paying their debt.

And I wanted to die every single day.

There was several of us girls, some of us were down in Connecticut and some of us were up here on the pier, like off of the the waterfront.

There was a shack that was there, and we were kept there as well.

- I remember feeling like I have all of these things that anyone would ever want.

And yet I was always kind of pulled in this direction of self-destruction.

I started off smoking weed and drinking at the age of 15.

By the time I was 17, so my junior year in high school beginnings of senior year in high school, I was using intravenous heroin almost daily.

It was around that time that I was in a nightclub here in Portland and somebody had sought me out, an older man had sought me out and he was just kind of started talking to me and I had just lost my job, and I didn't know how I was gonna get drugs.

And that was really worrying me.

And you know, he proceeded to, you know, show me the world of, at that time, trafficking.

Yes, this particular location was very popular.

There were other locations that were popular.

All seemed to, for me at least, we're in kind of generalized area of Portland.

My drug use was pretty heavy and I needed to get drugs.

For me, drugs was, you know, just as important as air, water, housing.

It was for me, like a basic need.

That's how at least I identified it when I was using, I would do anything for drugs.

I would sell my soul for a drink or a drug.

So I then for me, it progressed to prostitution.

This life is dangerous.

Violence against women is, especially women who are engaging in prostitution is very real.

So I experienced a significant amount of violence.

I remember one time I was working out of the motel and there had been such an altercation between me and somebody else that like the police showed up.

I got a shot at treatment in August of 2013.

I entered detox at Mercy Recovery Center.

I then went to Crossroads for Women.

I think a big moment for me was, I remember I entered treatment and the day that I had entered treatment, I didn't show up for the court date to testify against the person who had assaulted me in a domestic violence case because I was entering treatment.

And the DA had contacted DHS and asked them to move a little bit quicker in regards to finding a place for my children to go.

So I remember this DHS worker was sitting across the table from me and she said to me, "Amanda, the only thing you have to do is stay sober and complete this program.

And if you can do that, you can have your kids back."

I stuck with it, you know, every part of me wanted to go back out and wanted to get high.

But there was like just that small little bit that wanted something different.

(soothing music) - I went into a dual diagnosis program in Portland.

That first year in recovery I struggled with buildings that looked like the buildings that I was kept in.

I struggled with the fact that I was in a rehab program in the town that I was trafficked out of.

Things began to turn around as I allowed myself to work this program.

And I dove into the 12 step stuff.

I did steps, I worked with a phenomenal sponsor and I started to understand me.

I am excited to wake up every single day.

I never experienced that in the first part of my life.

You know, I feel like I'm just starting to live and it's wonderful.

- I have been in recovery, in long-term recovery since November 1st, 2013.

I feel really good about myself today.

You know, I'm proud of myself, I'm proud of my recovery and that's something that I can say really honestly.

I have two beautiful little girls that I get to be a mom to.

Even in early recovery, I didn't always show up as, you know, the best version of myself for them.

But my relationships with my children have changed drastically.

I got married last summer to somebody who's really amazing.

- So my name is Trisha Grant.

I'm the executive director of Just Love Worldwide.

I started doing this work about 10 years ago because I was brought to an event where we were talking about trafficking that happens overseas.

And at that event, the person speaking at that event had said, "I'm not going to talk about what I usually talk about.

I'm gonna talk about local trafficking."

And I was like, "Well, what is that?"

And everything that he was sharing was what had happened to me when I was 15 here in Maine and throughout New England.

I was trafficked and I didn't know that there was a name for what happened to me.

And I didn't know that it wasn't my fault.

So during that event, I learned those two things, and I had been in silence up until that point for 16 years and never told anybody what happened to me.

So I didn't really know what to do with that information at that time.

So that day, the person speaking, I did tell him, I said, "Hey, I don't know if this matters anymore."

And that was a reoccurring theme in my head was, "I don't even know if this matters anymore.

It was so long ago."

So, you know, he had offered me his card 'cause I was very good at putting on a smile and pretending to be okay.

And he said, "If there's ever anything that you need, please call me."

And he gave me his personal phone number.

And for 18 months after that, I couldn't function really well.

I lost my teaching job that I had had for 11 years.

I ended up getting a divorce.

I had to move out of the house that I was living in, and it was just chaos for 18 months because I didn't know how to process what I learned about myself, and that it wasn't my fault.

So 18 months later, I had started to pull the pieces back together and figure out how to live life again and how to take care of my kids, and get another job, and get another house, and just pull the pieces back together.

But I also realized that I needed to say something.

And I wanted to say something because the people who had trafficked me as a 15-year-old were still advertising in the local newspaper for exotic dancers.

So I knew that there was potentially trafficking and exploitation still happening.

So I needed to say something to protect those other girls.

And I've been doing this work now for 10 years because of that.

I learned kind of how to cope with my, the trauma that had resurfaced.

I dealt with some of the long-term impact that had been built up that was kind of all at the surface again.

And I just realized there's a community of people who care about this issue.

So I started connecting with other survivors, figuring out like, how do you heal from this?

How do you move on from this?

What can we do about this?

So those were some of the questions rolling through my head.

(dramatic music) - There was always this negative narrator in my head that said, you know, "You're just faking it."

You know, "Just don't tell them the truth about you."

You know, and so here I am at Long Creek and they're saying, you know, "Tell us about your childhood."

And I just told the truth and they were crying.

And I thought, "Why are you guys crying?

Like, I'm here, life is good, I own my own home.

Like, why are you crying?"

And I found out that they were crying because they weren't used to any happy endings.

I have a background of being abused.

Pretty yucky childhood.

The first 17 years of my life, I started being abused in first grade by a school administrator who would take me out of class and sexually abuse me.

I was the first child.

My mom and dad loved each other, and I was welcomed with open arms.

But the second child, my brother was very sick.

Now we know that predators look for opportunistic ways of getting to children, and having distracted parents is certainly one of them.

So the school knew that my parents were distracted, so it didn't set any alarms off that the school administrator's calling me his special girl and taking me outta class.

And as is common with abused kids, once a child has been abused, it's kind of like, I dunno, blood in shark infested waters.

It's like sharks come from all around.

Offenders come from all around.

So first it's a school administrator, and then it's the babysitter, and then it's the friend of the family, and then it's a cousin, an uncle, an aunt.

And next thing you know, I'm, you know, I'm wetting the bed and I'm skipping school, and I'm a runaway from 12 to 17 years old.

At that time, I started running away longer and longer.

So instead of just a friend's house or just an abandoned apartment building, at 15, I was in Biddeford on Pike Street living in an awful situation.

And I saw a couple of girls on the second floor.

I was in a basement apartment, and they said, "Hey, we have boyfriends and you go on dates.

And they make sure we're safe, and they make sure we get money.

You're sexual anyway, you might as well get paid for it."

And they made it sound just amazing.

Again, I was 15 years old and I said yes.

And then I got to choose between two boyfriends, which pimp that I chose not knowing that one of the pimps was an awful offender.

Did child pornography, did bestiality, beat his girls?

I didn't know that.

I picked the one that was a new pimp.

I didn't know that either.

And he was just learning how to be a pimp and only had a few girls and wasn't as mean as the other guy.

But as soon as I chose my particular pimp, then everything changed.

They go from being friendly and nice and will take care of you to, "Here are the rules."

And I don't think some of the things that I think normal people don't know is that there is a subculture, there's a language and there are unspoken rules that you just sort of pick up as you go along.

Well, there is definitely that in prostitution.

And you follow the rules or there are punishments, there is beatings, and torture, and whatever they feel would be an effective way of controlling you.

So for me it was fear, how my pimp controlled me.

Unlike the other pimp beat his women.

My pimp terrified me.

He did a lot of psychological things like taking me out somewhere in Maine, in the country on a no moon night, and just turning the lights off and on, on the headlights.

You can't see your hand in front of your face.

Now you can see now you can't.

That's how fast you'll disappear if you don't follow the rules.

Where other girls might be controlled by love.

"If you love me and you want me to be financially successful then you'll continue to have sex with other people for me.

If you don't do this for me, then I'm going to do this to your sister.

I'm gonna steal your brother, I'm gonna kill your parents."

Pimps use whatever will work.

That first 12 to 17 years old, being a runaway was horrific.

It was, you know, being raped by multiple people at one time.

It's being choked to unconsciousness.

It's seeing the absolute worst of humanity as a very young person.

Can you imagine being sexual with someone who's disgusting, who hasn't had a shower in a week?

Or who is mean to you?

Who is belittling to you, who is brutal to you?

Not fun.

(dramatic music continues) - So on a typical day or a typical shift, we just jump in the car and just start hitting the road, and start going to hotels or however we were doing our investigation.

Sometimes I might go to a hotel and just check in, and talk with the front desk clerk would say, "Hey, anything interesting going on tonight?

You know, any tips, anything out of the ordinary?"

And sometimes they would say, "Oh yeah, well you know what?

There's this one person that came in tonight.

And I wasn't quite sure if I should call you or not, or text you, but this seemed a little strange."

And then we'd discuss whatever it was.

And then sometimes it's led to something, sometimes it hasn't.

I would just start out by looking at some of the escort ads that are on the internet to find out the escorts that are posting in the area.

And, you know, the goal in the end would be to try to find some traffickers or some juveniles being trafficked.

And the way we would do that is to start searching escort ads.

From that ad I might figure out the person's in the area.

We'd use our resources by figuring out if she's local, if she's at one of our hotels, she or he, predominantly it's females being trafficked, but there are some males and young juveniles that are being trafficked males and might call them up and set up a date.

In sex trafficking this is a very sad lifestyle that this victim is gonna be made to do this.

It wasn't the intent that the victim didn't intend to get into this, but she was forced or coerced into doing this.

And now this is the sad lifestyle that she has to lead now until she can get out.

And that's where law enforcement comes in.

And hopefully we can get her out.

Hopefully we can get her services, and get her out of this day to day lifestyle that's very dim and bleak and very sad for anybody else knowing what's going on to her.

Hey, how you doing?

- How are you?

- Good, Dave Stailing with the police department.

Could you tell me who's in room 203?

We've got a tip that it may be some trafficking going on in that room, so I just wanted to see who was listed on the guest register.

Great, all right, well we're gonna be around for a little bit.

We're just gonna kind of look around the room and just kind of hang out maybe in the hallways and things like that, see if we can just see if that's indeed what's going on in that room.

Maybe it's not, but, and I'll check in with you when we leave.

- Of course.

- Let you know we're outta here.

- [Receptionist] Do you need anything from me for now?

- Nope, I think we're good.

- All right.

- All right.

Thank you.

All right.

This business can be very dangerous.

If the trafficker's in the room, it could be very dangerous.

He could be coming outta the bathroom at us, or it could be right next door in the other room.

And when, you know, the girl that's answering the door, she's gonna have her phone in her hand more often than not.

And if she's being trafficked, she's letting her trafficker know that, you know, her client is here.

And then she's gonna stay in contact.

She's gonna hold that phone in her hand because he's gonna be asking her questions and he's trying to keep an eye on her and make sure she's safe because that's her security.

(soothing music) (door knocking) Hey, how are you?

I'm Dave Stailing with the South Port Police Department.

Do you mind if I come in and talk with you?

Yeah, I've just heard some stuff going on.

I just wanna talk with you and probably don't want to do it out in the hallway, so I can respect your privacy.

Mind if I just come in for a minute and talk with you?

Great, thanks.

Women that don't get out of this business of sex trafficking end up staying in a long time.

Their health is diminishing, whether it's a drug habit or some addiction they've gotten into, sometimes they'll end up dying.

That's the most extreme.

Other times it's just day to day activity like this, it just draws them down and just wears them down.

So they're just not able to do anything else in life, but this.

Prostitution is now decriminalized, so there's no penalty for an escort or a prostitute to, there's no penalty for what she's doing.

The penalty is still on the other end for the people soliciting the prostitutes for a sexual act.

The goal is never to charge the prostitute in the end, although it has always been a tool of many tools that law enforcement has on them in times of need when there's been nothing else to do, nowhere else to help this victim.

And we know she's being trafficked.

Sometimes we've charged them in order to get them out of the game and get them some help instantly.

Because in the end we have to, we just can't take away somebody's rights.

We have to follow the law.

And following the law allowed us before to take away some rights to people to help them.

And then in the end, you know, if the District Attorney's office decided to charge and not charge, that wasn't up to us, that was the District Attorney's office.

But the goal is not to charge them, it's to get them help right now and then, however we can do it.

- [Narrator] Trisha Grant helped write the law that removed penalties for people coerced into prostitution.

Some lawmakers would like to legalize all aspects of prostitution, but Trisha disagrees.

- I personally am against the legalization of prostitution because I just don't feel like there's any way to make it a safe environment.

And there are multiple reasons for that, but there's always going to be more demand than there is supply, which means more people are going to be trafficked, more people are going to be exploited at younger and younger ages.

And there's just no way to verify.

Nobody was asking me as a 15-year-old how old I was or if I wanted to be there.

Nobody's going to ask those questions because they're there for a reason.

They're there for a purpose and they go, they accomplish that and then they leave.

So I just don't, I know that there's no way to make this safe.

- Now that this law has changed, we're gonna have to go more old school policing and boots on the ground, you know, where do we start?

And we have no facts.

We have to watch and observe, which takes time.

It takes more time for surveillance when there's not a lot of law enforcement officers nowadays.

We have less applicants.

Right now we have nine positions open in this department, which has been unheard of in years past.

We've had victims tell us that to don't decriminalize this.

And they said, "No, we want that to stay that way because that's gonna encourage my trafficker to make me go out and work more."

(dramatic music) - [Narrator] Until her death in late 2021.

Dee Clarke was a fierce advocate for women who were exploited.

Her own story was made into a play called "The Last Girl."

- When you pick up the main criminal code, you never see anything in there except for the word prostitution.

Somewhere eventually you'll see the word aggravated trafficking and sex trafficking.

You won't see sex work.

We just wipe out those words and we call it sexploitation.

They're being exploited.

No, they're not doing it on purpose.

They have no way, so to us, it doesn't matter.

It matters the person stuck and wants out.

That's what matters to us.

It is real, there are no numbers, there's no way to keep statistics.

But I keep meeting women that I don't know.

I see a lot of women I know, but I keep meeting women I don't know as well as transgender women.

So it's real, and many with traffickers and many without traffickers.

Right now, it seems like a lot of young people are engaging again, that it's visible.

- So people think that it is just this, you know, consensual transaction a lot of times amongst two adults.

And it's really not.

What we see a lot, what I experienced was, here's this act of intimacy, right?

That has now become a business transaction.

And once that business transaction happens, it really takes that consent away in the sense of, now I am providing a service to you, right?

It's my job to provide this service to you.

And whatever your needs are that you want met, the expectation, right?

There's this silent expectation that I am to provide that to you.

And so one of the things that's really challenging about, you know, sexual exploitation is also, there's still a power and control dynamic.

And like many unhealthy or toxic relationships where there's a power and control dynamic present that's also true in sexual exploitation.

And you know, there's a lot of gray areas that arise as a result of that power and control dynamic.

And that makes it really, really hard for people who are being exploited to be able to really make, you know, informed decisions with their bodies.

- So addiction is a huge piece of this story.

And there's a lot of crossover with addiction and with prostitution, and with exploitation, with trafficking.

That's why when they try to make a separation 'cause the argument with legalization is that, you know, well that's one thing, and this is another thing, but they intertwine, like there's so many intersections around the things that happen to people when they're being prostituted, and when they're being exploited.

And one of those things is addiction.

- One of the, you know, very interesting connections between substance use and sexual exploitation is kind of the stigma and the lack of empathy around it, surrounding it, you know?

So similar with substance use disorders, a lot of times you'll hear people say, "Well, they're choosing to use substances.

This person is choosing to prostitute."

And we know that that's not the case, right?

When you are using substances, substances become as much of a necessity, as much of a basic need as food, water, air, right?

And you're gonna do anything necessary in order to have your basic needs met.

And that's a lot of times when we look at people who are being sexually exploited, that's what we're seeing.

We're seeing people who may be living in poverty, who, you know, can't make a living wage, right?

Who are actively using substances, who have a history of childhood trauma, you know, all of these things.

And then we're, you know, saying that they're making a choice.

Well, is that a choice?

- So oftentimes people will use substances to be able to cope with what's being done to them while they're being exploited, trafficked, prostituted, whatever the term you want to use.

And the other thing that happens also is that once they're no longer being trafficked, even if they did not have a heavy substance use history, they start using substances more to cope with the flashbacks, to cope with the memories, to just deal with everyday life.

Because when you've experienced trafficking, and exploitation, and prostitution, it's hard to be in a normal life.

(dramatic music) - I was asked months ago to talk about the encampments, and that is because I had an experience in, I think it was July.

I went to Crossroads and I met with, it was a female class at Crossroads.

They were in their last, it was their last week maybe that they were gonna be there.

And actually it was in August, come to think if it was August.

And there were about 22, 24 women in the room.

And one of the women started talking about an experience she'd had of an actual sex assault, and wanted to know about the follow up to that.

And other women were nodding their heads.

And I realized, this is not an uncommon experience for this group that I'm with.

And one of them said, "Oh, you know, at the encampments."

And I said, "How many of you have lived in the encampments?"

And almost all of them raised their hands.

So it wasn't right then, but at one time had been living in one of the encampments whether this year, last year.

And I said, "And how many of you have had the experience of being coerced into having sex, into doing a sex act of some kind?"

Almost every woman who had raised her hand to begin with, their hand stayed up.

And I realized that this was a much more widespread issue.

We then spoke about what was happening in the encampments.

And I realized that this was not going to be defined as illegal sex trafficking per se.

What I saw was that it was being used as a coercive currency.

That if you had a need in the encampments, and somebody was willing to meet that need in exchange for a sex act, that this had been the experience that many of these women had had.

Now that's not illegal under the adult criminal code.

Being coerced into a sex act for juvenile is illegal.

For adults agreeing to do something in exchange for something which is not money, is not illegal under Maine law, but it is damaging, and it is harmful, and it is traumatic for these women.

And that was very clear when I was listening to them talk about these encounters at the encampments.

(dramatic music) - Sit.

Good boy.

Thank you.

- [Narrator] Two years later, Jessica continues to rebuild her life.

- So for the past few years I've gone through like a significant amount of changes.

From moving into a place that I was finally able to make my home and keep it my home over the last four years, so far easy.

And it's really, it's brought a whole different level of peacefulness to my soul, I think, to be able to have that safe place that I can go to, that safe place for my kids to grow up, and create all these memories with one another, and space where I can have my puppy and all of that.

And it's just been, it's been really nice.

And I've really kind of focused on my education a lot.

I really want to some point travel and write a book, and really get into some research around human behavior.

And so I've been continuing on that path.

I got my bachelor's in Psychology of Addictions and that was a whole different level of accomplishment for me, and gratitude to be able to be present today enough so that I could complete an entire bachelor's degree program.

And show my kids that, you know, you can come back from anything so long as they're dedicated to it, and have the right supports around you.

So one of the other interesting things that I tried out was hypnosis.

And then for a while I was kind of against it.

I'm like, "I am not okay with that because I'm not gonna have somebody all of a sudden controlling me, making me quack like a duck on stage."

You know, that whole nine yards.

But when I started to really research it and understand it from a professional level, I realized that it was, that is not how hypnosis works in any way is, but what it does do is it helps to tap into your subconscious, and it helps to rewire what is underneath.

And so we operate off of our beliefs and our beliefs lead to thoughts.

Our thoughts would lead to the actions and so on, right?

And so what hypnosis did for me was it tapped into these core beliefs that had been put into me over the course of years of being sexually abused.

That I was not good enough, that I was a sexual object, that I was to let men do with me as they pleased, that I did not deserve a good life.

That I wasn't meant to be financially well off.

Just all these different things.

And I really started to understand how much those beliefs had played out throughout my life.

And when I did the work and shifted that, it was incredible to see the changes in my life.

And I utilized hypnosis for pain.

I utilize hypnosis for stress.

I use it if I can't solve a problem, I'll utilize it.

There's lots of different self hypnosis techniques that you can use out there and so that was one of the most beneficial parts of my journey.

And I do plan to become certified in doing hypnosis for others, and utilize that as a form of treatment.

- As we're gonna end our day with the panel discussion.

We have some of the questions- - [Narrator] Through her work as founder of the nonprofit Stop Trafficking US, Catherine Ann Wilson is educating Maine to recognize exploitation among our youth.

- We are in St. Dominic's, which is a Catholic school run by the Catholic diocese here in Maine.

What is unique about this particular conference is that we were approached by the Catholic diocese and they said, "Hey, we've got kids who are sharing sexually explicit photographs and videos.

And we're sort of at a loss, we don't know what to do."

And I reached out to our Maine school safety center and said, "You know, is this a issue?"

And they're like, "Oh my gosh.

Not only in Maine private school, public school, but schools across the nation and the globe."

When the pandemic hit, kids who had more time online, more time unsupervised, more times in their room on these instruments, not really understanding parental controls.

A lot of the parents didn't initiate those parental controls.

Just they didn't understand, they didn't know what to do or how to do it.

They didn't know which apps on the phone offenders use more than others.

And all the staff that were gonna be covering here today, Catherine Ann Wilson, the founder of Stop Trafficking US, my nonprofit was started in 2015 as a survivor myself, was thriving in the community and wanted to be able to give back, how could I be a part of this solution?

How could I prevent what had happened to me from happening to other children in my community?

So at first it was me speaking as one person to groups.

And then I said, "Well, gosh, I can do better than that.

I'm gonna bring my A team, I'm gonna bring somebody from Homeland Security, I'm gonna bring a sex therapist, I'm gonna bring an addiction therapist, and we're gonna talk to even larger groups."

And then it was, "Hey, why don't I do a conference so I can really reach even more people?"

- So very excited to have you guys here on a half day.

We have an incredible setup.

- So this is our fourth statewide conference that we've done over the last, since 2019, two in person and two virtual.

We've had as many as 690 participants on one of our conferences on what is child sexual abuse for teachers, social workers, and law enforcement, and prosecuting attorneys.

So I'm very excited to be able to do this.

- We are all worried about the distribution and trading of sexual images at every single level.

We are terrified about what's happening with kids with that.

Solicitation and child sex trafficking for sure.

Sexual assault and abduction because that is what I consider to be the nuclear option in these cases.

- It's humbling and exciting to have this impact.

And I just keep coming back to, you know, let me show you what one person can do.

So you bigger organizations who have a team, who have funding, step up.

This is the challenge, step up and let's do more of these.

I believe through education we'll be able to block the access of offenders to our children.

And that's where we have the real power.

- So as a society, we have a way of normalizing and glorifying, you know, sex in our culture.

And I believe that that directly plays a role into a lot of the issues that we see in regards to human trafficking and sexual exploitation.

We really objectify women even in our, you know, our magazines.

If you listen to the lyrics of songs that any young child is, you know, listening to today, there's a lot of, you hear a lot of glorification of sex.

And as a mom, I think that it's really important that as a society we work to do better.

Because the reality is, is that somebody who's engaging in sexual exploitation is at increased risk for violence and, you know, prolonged and continued mental health disorders as a result of the trauma that they're experiencing while being exploited.

- Oftentimes we're exposed to pornography at a very young age, oftentimes at eight, nine and 10 is when our youth are being exposed to pornography.

And that can warp our ability to know what is a normal, healthy relationship and what isn't.

- [Narrator] Trisha Grant believes that people can change.

One of her goals as Executive Director of Just Love International is to educate Johns.

- Today we are going to hear about how Trisha and Steve collaborate to implement a program called Stop Sexual Exploitation in Maine.

It uses a restorative justice approach to first time offenders.

- So over the past two and a half years, we've been exploring the idea that we need to tackle the demand side of this.

And the demand side of this is primarily men who are buying sex.

So we've spent some time with somebody named Peter who created and designed a curriculum that he's executed in three other states.

And I believe Maine was the fourth state to adopt this curriculum.

And I'm able to run that curriculum with a very good friend of mine, and a professor at Thomas College, Steve Dyer.

And we are currently in our second cohort of this group of men who we spend 10 weeks with educating them on the realities of trafficking and exploitation, and that there's another side to prostitution.

These are all men who were sent to us by our District Attorneys in Androscoggin County and Cumberland County.

- When people hear human trafficking, they just shut down and they don't want to think anymore about it.

But you say commercial sexual exploitation, now they can put, now they can put an act to it.

And it really helps to solidify, 'cause commercial, someone's paying for it, sexual, we all know what that is.

Exploitation, taking advantage of someone else in a power dynamic.

- So people often will ask me the question of how do we rehabilitate these men who have committed these offenses?

And the simple question is just to meet them where they're at, get to hear their stories, figure out who they are, where their belief systems stem from.

Is this something that they have done over and over again?

We ask those questions.

Some people are very upfront with us and will tell us, "Oh, bought sex a thousand times."

And some of them will be like, "No, I never actually bought sex.

I was just caught in this sting."

So we have all extremes, and what we do with this curriculum is we just dive in and we talk about things like toxic masculinity.

And we talk about sex, we talk about consensual sex, we talk about what it means to actually buy somebody.

We talk about that person who is being victimized, and what that person's story can look like.

I share my story throughout the curriculum, so that they get a better grasp of what this actually is.

So they get to hear a lot of my story over these 10 weeks.

We have no idea, like, if you're gonna leave here after the 10th week and go and buy sex, we don't know.

Our hope is that you won't.

Our hope is that if you, if this is such a struggle for you and you do that again, that this class will be running through your head as you're doing that, and hopefully be able to bring you to a place where you're able to not do that.

You know, and if that's that's a hard thing to say because obviously we would like for this to just not happen anymore.

We would like for people to not buy sex anymore.

Because if people stop buying sex, this issue will be done.

- Right.

- Period, that if we end the demand of sexual exploitation of people, then this is done.

People ask me oftentimes, "How are you able to stand in front of these men who have bought sex from women and hear their stories?"

And it's part of my healing journey.

It's been part of my forgiveness.

It's been part of me being able to better understand where these men are coming from, and what brought them to a place to believe that it was okay to buy sex.

And it's been a journey for all of us.

I'm the first survivor to be able to run this curriculum.

And it could not be going better.

- [Narrator] Our show ends with a question.

After all that these women have endured at the brutal hands of others, is it appropriate and is it possible to forgive?

- I forgive the people who harmed me, who violated my body, who are hurting themselves.

You know, the act of forgiveness is not about forgetting, or saying that it was okay what they did.

The act of forgiveness is for yourself.

It's a healing process.

And this was something that took me a while to be able to do.

It was not something I could do immediately.

I think it was three, four years in that I finally was able to stop and say, "Okay, what happened to this human being that made them think that this was okay to do?"

And then I had to think about that.

And I had to think about what kind of environment would a human being have to be raised in to think that this was acceptable behavior, to take someone against their will, to hold them, to sell them and torture them in many different ways.

And the only conclusion that I came to was that they had endured a significant amount of pain themselves.

And that was what brought me to a level of compassion for them, and hope that they can find the inner peace.

And so that journey for me personally, to finding forgiveness for the people who have harmed me throughout my life, and not just from the trafficking as an adult, but the human trafficking as a child, and the other sexual abuse that I have endured throughout my life.

I took time to find forgiveness for each one of those individuals.

And I still have people that ask me all the time, like, "How could you possibly forgive somebody for that?"

And it's not that I've forgiven the act, it's that I've forgiven that they are, I'm aware that they're a human being and I forgive them for harming me to try and relieve their pain.

And that's where the forgiveness comes from.

- So something that we talk about a lot in mentoring is the journey of forgiveness and healing.

And for me, I always felt like I was out of place, and like something was deeply wrong with me because I didn't hate the men who did those things to me.

The men who raped me, the men who trafficked me, I didn't hate them.

And I always thought something was profoundly wrong with me that I didn't.

But over the years I've realized that part of a gift that I have was being able to recognize as that 15-year-old being raped that what was being done to me wasn't about me.

It was about the brokenness that those men have within them, and the things that they grew to learn to be true about what's right and what's wrong, and what's acceptable and what isn't.

Part of me being able to accept that it was okay not to hate those men who did that to me was realizing that by being able to forgive them, and being able to remove it from something wrong with me or something that I did, and recognizing that it was a brokenness within them, I was able to heal.

I was able to kind of move through easier, I feel like, than some other survivors that I've worked with who hold onto that hate, who rightfully so hold onto that hate, and that anger, and that bitterness.

But with that also comes a lot of confusing feelings of guilt and shame that maybe they did something wrong, or maybe I did something wrong to put myself in that place.

But it was never about that.

It was really just about their brokenness.

It was not about me.

(soothing music) - Many survivors that I work with are young, you know?

And they're wondering, "How in the world can I have healthy relationships?

How in the world can you be intimate with a man after being raped once, nevermind multiple times."

Or, "How can you believe in God who would let these awful things happen to children?

How can you have faith?"

Hope is what makes the difference.

If there is one thing I could say makes all the difference in the world is the one thing that you need.

If you do have hope, then it doesn't matter if you have no one, it doesn't matter if you have nothing.

If all you have is yourself and hope, okay, that's it.

(soothing music) ♪ I remember lightning, a fire within the rain ♪ ♪ Blind faith in your religion ♪ Join circles round the dream ♪ Still hanging on to a single breath you take ♪ ♪ 'Cause you fade in the background ♪ ♪ Now that come off to faith ♪ Drunk in the morning, lie on the lawn ♪ ♪ lying to myself just to feel like I'm not in the wrong ♪ ♪ Like the wilting skyline ♪ Indigo to gray it all fade into the backroom ♪ ♪ Watches you driving away ♪ But I hold my hope ♪ I could wait for somebody ♪ But you're all that I know ♪ Keep me close 'cause I shake like I'm dying ♪ ♪ The end of my road ♪ You're the skin on my bones ♪ You're the skin on my bones ♪ It's a velvet darkness ♪ It's a land of make believe ♪ You come crawling back to your senses ♪ ♪ It's just the change of the seasons ♪ ♪ That wicked wind it swallows you.

♪ ♪ I know it now, why always ♪ You put your fate in the blackness ♪ ♪ Leaving me to take in the view ♪ ♪ But I hold my own ♪ I could wait for somebody but you're all that I know ♪ ♪ Keep me close 'cause I shake like I'm dying ♪ ♪ At the end of my road ♪ You're the skin on my bones ♪ You're the skin on my bones ♪ Whatever wakes you in the morning ♪ ♪ Whatever gets you off your