(enchanting music) - Hello, I'm Portia Young.

Next on "10thirtysix", we will spend much of the next half hour talking about mental health.

Plus, an update on our story about a local doctor's passion to teach kids how to shoot layups and hone their literacy skills, as well.

"10thirtysix" starts right now.

(enchanting instrumental music) Mental health continues to be an important issue to talk about, and that's what we're doing here on "10thirtysix".

September is Suicide Awareness Month.

And unfortunately, the number of people in Wisconsin and across the country taking their own lives is steadily increasing.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nationwide suicide deaths increased 2.6% from 2021 to 2022.

The CDC says more suicides are common in the U.S. than at any time since the beginning of World War II.

Here in Wisconsin, suicide numbers have gradually increased statewide since 2020.

The 25-44 age group saw the highest suicide rate in Wisconsin in 2022.

Governor Tony Evers declared that 2023 would be the year of mental health funding.

For school-based mental health services will increase from 10 million to $30 million over the next two years.

We take a closer look at the impact suicide can have on a family.

Former award-winning Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Reporter, Meg Kissinger, has written a memoir about her family's struggles with mental health that included losing a sister and a brother to suicide.

I spoke with Meg about her new book, "While You Were Out" and what others can learn from her family's mental health journey.

Welcome, Meg.

Thank you for being here.

So "While You Were Out", it's very, very powerful and it seems like in reading it, it was your way of kind of soothing this indescribable pain that you felt.

When did you write this and why?

- Well, first of all, thanks for having me.

It's delightful to be here and I'm happy to talk about this book.

You're right.

It was a way for me to deal with the pain and also to kind of help process and understand this, I don't really call it a mental health system, because a system is something where the parts work together and nothing about mental health really works together.

So I had the idea for this so many years ago after my brother died and he had written me a letter right before, the week before he died, talking about what it's like to live with mental illness.

And he talked about how it makes you think and act in awkward ways.

And he said something so profound that really only love and understanding can conquer the disease.

And I took that to heart and I thought, you know, we don't really know, we don't really understand people with serious mental illness, and it's, sometimes they're hard to love.

And so I really, that question was kind of haunting me for years.

And in my journalism as a reporter at the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, I was fortunate enough to have a lot of opportunities to consider how people with mental illness are treated.

But the story of my family is the one that just kept coming back to me.

So that's the one that I really pursued.

So when you ask, when did I write it?

I've been really writing it for the last 25 years.

And, but in earnest, I would say in the last five or so.

And I wrote it for the reasons that we just talked about.

You know, to kind of try and better understand what people go through and really what we need to do to do what my brother Danny wanted, which is to love and understand people.

- Love and understanding.

So, Irish Catholic family growing up, suburbs of Chicago, eight children.

- [Meg] Yeah.

- [Portia] As I was reading through the pages, looking back do you think that your mother's depression and anxiety was caused by postpartum depression?

- I really wonder that.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get her medical records.

I got my dad's, I got my sister's, and my brother's.

I was amazed to get my sister, she died in 1978.

But unfortunately I couldn't get my mom's.

I know she had postpartum depression.

They didn't label it, that then.

But given that she would linger in the hospital after giving birth, she didn't come home for many days after my youngest sister was born.

She, you know, it was described to us at the time as that she was too tired, which I now interpret as being depressed or having that postpartum depression.

So yeah, I do, I think so.

I think that she didn't have the support that she needed and the understanding.

Now, she would always say that she wanted a big family and we felt very loved.

You know, my mom was a wonderful mother and a very loving, warm woman.

But, I do think her illness was such that it kept her from us at times, and it could be quite paralyzing.

- So suicide, as we said in the opening segment, it's now the highest it's been since post World War II.

- Right.

- Subtly been rising.

Your book really paints the picture of all the guilt and the stigma that kind of comes with that in the family and regret.

Why is it important to hold that mirror up in the pages of this book so that people perhaps can see any warning signs or was that also part of it?

- Yeah, it really was.

So when my sister died in 1978, after many years of turmoil and really torment, I mean, that kid suffered greatly.

And again, we didn't have the language for it.

We didn't know how to talk about what she was going through.

It was scary for us.

It was scary for her.

And so when she died, the night that she died, my dad called us all into the living room and said, in no uncertain terms, you know, if anybody asks, this was an accident.

And that scared us, you know?

That, and he wasn't trying to be mean.

He was afraid that my sister wouldn't be able to have a funeral.

You know, the Catholic church at that time had some pretty draconian policies.

They considered suicide immortal sin and people who died by suicide were not granted a funeral.

So he had his reasons and I think he was also embarrassed.

You know, people are always very quick to blame the families of people with mental illness.

So suicide, so as I describe in the book, in the very day after her funeral, she died on a Friday night.

Her funeral was on Monday morning.

Tuesday morning, business as usual.

We were back at work, back at doing whatever baseball games and whatever we had going on without any discussion of it.

And it was just swept under the rug.

Again, not in a nefarious way, it's just we were afraid and we didn't know how to talk about it.

And I really feel like that laid the foundation for a lot of trouble that came in the years to follow.

And that if we had had better communication, better ways to talk about it, better ways to process it, I think we would've been spared a lot of anguish.

- So when you see what's happening today and the statistics, how does that reconcile with you?

- I'm so confused by this because on the one hand, you know, we are, our society's now much more open about talking about mental illness and people's individual struggles.

And you can't ride a city bus or even during a baseball broadcast you hear public service announcements for, you know, get mental health treatment.

Don't be afraid to talk about it.

So by rights, at least by my reckoning, the suicide rate should be coming down and it's not.

And I don't think we've, I don't think we fully understand why, but I think we need to find...

I don't think, I know.

We need to find ways to talk with each other about how we're feeling.

And you know, suicidal ideation, a feeling of wanting to die is a really human feeling.

And what I wish for is that we can find ways to have these conversations without adding to that person's turmoil.

I just am very grateful to my brothers and sisters for having the courage to trust me to tell our family story.

And really that was our whole intention, is to bear witness to what, this is what one family went through you know, in middle America in the middle of the century.

And I'm a middle child and I think people will see, in our family they'll see some threads that maybe they'll relate to and maybe some lessons that can be drawn.

- Meg will be speaking at a Milwaukee Press Club event October 11th.

It's free and open to the public.

Visit milwaukeepbs.org for more information.

Our Emmy award-winning documentary on youth mental health continues to help communities educate families about the struggles and management of mental health.

In the documentary, four young people candidly share their stories and how they manage their mental health challenges.

TJ Esser, who transitioned in high school and Barrett Poetker who struggled with anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder and bullying, have become mental health advocates.

TJ and Barrett's mom, Becky, shared advice during a screening of the documentary organized by the Oak Creek Health Department.

- First of all, I'd like to say it's a huge trial and error.

Some things worked and some things didn't.

So in our house, I'm fortunate to have a very close family, my sisters and parents and everybody.

I had a huge support system and it was always really kind of just an open discussion.

And so we didn't hold much back.

My sister was anxious and we talked about it, you know, like we talked about, you know, if you had a cold, it never was really a thing.

And so I felt like the more we talked about it, the kind of easier it was for everybody to share.

One thing I can say that it was a good trial and not error was that when Barrett was little and she used to share stuff with us, my husband and I, we would we kept a game face all the time and we'd just kind of nod our head and, oh yeah, that's... And then she'd walk away and we're like, oh my God, what?

You know, like when we'd regroup, kind of make a plan, and stuck together with it, you know?

And so I have to remind her every day of the little things that seemed huge and sometimes they are, but you did it and you get through it.

- I'll have clients that'll go, well, am I done now?

Meaning like, across the finish line, right?

And I'm like, nope.

Well, I gotta do this forever?

Yeah, kind of, maybe not the exact same way because it's a process.

And I think giving ourselves permission to just be in that space versus thinking that we have to have all the answers.

- Wherever you're starting from, is perfectly okay.

And we will get, we'll, it's sometimes it's three steps forward, two steps back, but that's okay too.

You know?

So just acknowledging where people are starting at.

- It takes one person to talk.

And so, and TJ always said a really good thing too.

One thing I always think about in your, when you were talking is how you said, the way you think of yourself isn't really how everyone else thinks of yourself, right?

And that was always something that I thought, yeah, you're right.

Huge.

Right?

And then Barrett also said, it just takes one, you know, one person to start the conversation, right?

And then all of a sudden you'll say, oh my gosh, I feel like that too sometimes.

And it just all kind of spirals.

- If you share that everybody goes through things and that everybody has emotions and sometimes it's hard to handle them and just kind of normalize, which I know that that's an overused word, but normalize the experience 'cause everybody goes through hard times and normalize asking for help and accepting it.

- If you haven't already, please watch the entire documentary, "Kids in Crisis You're Not Alone".

You can find it on our YouTube channel.

September is also Literacy Awareness Month.

We wanna update you on a story we brought you last year about a local doctor and his game plan for basketball and literacy taking place at the Silver Spring Neighborhood Center.

(basket ball bouncing) - The floor came about, it was a joint project with Pat Connaughton of course, being the well-known name, but also people like the Howard Frank family, as well as many others who contributed to this, to come together and make this wonderful inspiration of a creation habit.

It's amazing.

It's a fresh breath of air.

Soon as you come into the building from top to bottom.

The ceiling used to be white, it's now black and it illuminates the whole gym itself.

We got freshly painted walls with our new color scheme and then we got all new wrenches, to new rims, new paddings, no refurbished backboards.

We have our new bleacher set up here, and of course, our newly renovated floor.

It's having a major impact.

If you are in the Milwaukee area, I would say come down meet me, meet any of our staff in the building.

Just come have a tour of the building.

If you're an individual looking for a home to be a part of, here at the Silver Spring Neighborhood Center, we welcome all.

- [Portia] In case you missed it, here's our award-winning story about the doctor who works on this court to carry out his game plan that goes beyond learning layups.

(instrumental music) - [Nicholas] Basketball is more than a game because it teaches you discipline.

It teaches you how to be consistent.

It teaches you to show up even when you don't want to.

- [Donovan] I think it was more than a game for us because we kind of built a family, you know, a familyhood, a brotherhood.

- [Derwin] It gave me an outlet.

I could feel like it kept me out trouble.

- [Host] When Derwin Quinn heard that we were interviewing former players of the Northcott Hoyas basketball team, he wasn't gonna be left out of the lineup and missing opportunity to talk about Dr. Charles Waisbren, the physician and coach teaching those life lessons.

- I flew all the way up here from Brandon, Mississippi solely for this interview.

You know, I booked me a ticket.

I came today and I leave tomorrow morning.

This is the only reason I'm here.

This program means a lot to me.

I miss it.

Talk to my kids about it all the time.

(Derwin laughing) - Whoa!

- Bro he said he in Brandon, Mississippi.

- [Host] For all three of these players, basketball was more than a game because Waisbren was more than a coach.

- He was always in our corner.

And like, we respected him as a, again, like as a father figure.

And so, you know, sometimes it took a lot for him to kind of tame us and keep us under control.

You know, bunch of kids from the, you know, inner city.

And we was reckless at times.

- Stern for sure.

But I think he just requires a lot from his players because he gives a lot to his players.

And, you know, to whom much is given, much is tested and requested back.

- It just felt like a family, felt like vacation every weekend.

Like it was, it didn't feel like we were just going for basketball.

It felt like we were just going for fun.

- [Host] Waisbren coached his young players to a state championship in 2003, but that's not what he's most proud of.

- Yeah.

- [Dr. Waisbren] Thanks, guys.

- Yes, coach.

- Thank you.

- [Dr. Waisbren] You know I- - Yes, sir.

Don't get to tell you too often.

- This is our guy right here.

- It brought tears to my eyes, you know?

What wonderful young men they are.

You know, we had a very, very tight 12 years together.

We did love them, you know?

And to have someone in their corner I think is really very important.

You know, if you talk to people who've made it out of horrible surroundings, they all talk about how someone in their life believed in them.

- [Host] It all started in 1997 with a book.

- All right, here we go.

(whistle blows) Let's go.

The most influential book for me really was "Hoop Dreams".

And it's really started a lot of what I'm doing now because I thought it was so germane to what I see out in society.

If you look at City of Milwaukee kids, you know everyone's aspiration is to go to the NBA.

And the truth is no, you know, no one's going to the NBA.

I like to tell 'em that, you know hoop dreams is great, but you know, you need to learn how to read and write and go to school and have a plan B.

'Cause hoop dreams is likely a dream.

I want a three man weave.

I want nice, three even lines.

I've been doing this for 24 years, you know?

And my model sort of is, I like to start it when the kids are 9 or 10 years old.

'Cause I feel they're, I have a more ability to influence their life course.

So I'd like to develop a program of fourth or fifth graders and really stay with them until high school.

- [Host] Waisbren originally launched the program out of the Northcott Neighborhood House, and only recently migrated to the Silver Spring Neighborhood Center as the Layups and Literacy program, putting a stronger emphasis on an educational component.

The Center's executive director says it's been a welcome addition to the Westlawn community.

- I think the thing that separated his program is that he came in, number one, he came in knowing basketball.

He knew the game and he knew what it meant to community and to be competitive.

He knew it on all levels, but he came in with a goal of driving academics which sometimes doesn't always follow the court, right?

- Okay, we're on chapter four, Straighten Up Patty.

Go ahead, Michael.

- She said this time all the time.

Drove me crazy - [Dr. Waisbren] With Silver Spring All Stars, You know, I had a formal literacy program an hour before practice, you know?

I think it's very important for them to experience books and it's a lot more than just teaching literacy though, because there's a lot of stuff going on in the classroom.

And we talk about anger management, we talk about risk versus benefit choices.

We talk about the conflict resolution.

- We'll see if he got something to say to him, goes Sid.

- [Host] Kendall Morris enjoys reading as much as he likes hitting step back threes.

- We read a new book almost every month, I would say, because we like to get through our books fast.

He asks us questions from the last time he read the book and we'll be talking about like, how do you feel about what he did?

Or something like that.

- [Host] Jarryl Robinson enjoys reading as much as he likes a tough drive to the bucket.

(basket ball bouncing) - I read fairytales, action books, I read a lot of books.

- [Interviewer] What books are you reading like downstairs right now with the team?

- "Patina".

It's about a track team.

There's four books of the track people.

There's "Patina", "Lou", "Sunny", and "Ghost".

We already read "Ghost", and that book was just amazing.

- [Interviewer] You think your reading's gotten better from coming here?

- Mhm.

A lot.

I'm now just learning that I can read at higher levels.

I didn't know that before until I came here.

- You know, it's just a wonderful thing to be able to continue parenting, you know, when your grown kids are outta the nest.

- [Host] It was Waisbren's son, Sam, who played on the Northcott team for seven years, who revitalized the Layups and Literacy program, a legacy that will live on for a long time.

(somber instrumental music) - Well, obviously Sam was the light of my life.

He loved being part of the program and he was just a absolute delight and very funny.

Continuing to do the program reminds me of my son, Sam as well.

- Sam is our brother.

- Yeah, man.

- Sam is our coach's son, but he's known us as a brother.

- Yeah.

- He shared his dad with us.

- He was so humble.

(somber instrumental music) - He died in a horrible elevator accident in New York City.

And it was an outpouring of grief.

And, you know, we started to GoFundMe page to really help fund this program, which has helped.

You know, I've always paid for everything myself, but having the extra funds, I'm able to hire, you know Milwaukee Public School teachers to help me with the literacy program.

The teachers were uncomfortable coming in during COVID.

I've sort of self-taught myself how to teach literacy you know, from the teachers.

You know, I think of myself as an essential worker, not only as an internist where I continue to work during COVID, but I think I'm an essential worker as far as these children.

Let's go, Tisaiah.

Good pass.

- [Host] Dr. Waisbren has always been an essential worker, even before the pandemic, as he helped shape his young players into the men they are today.

For Quinn, who now owns his own painting business, that meant bringing in the right mentors.

- One of my favorite parts of this program is he introduced us to three black men who looked like us, who were successful.

And you know, I like to thank him for that for bringing them in here and letting us see, you know kind of a glimpse of what we could have if we worked for it.

- The assistant coaches I had at Northcott were pharmaceutical reps. And it was interesting.

So the kids, when they talked about what they wanted to do when they wanted to grow up, they either wanted to be a doctor or pharmaceutical rep, you know?

So I think the adult mentoring does help.

You know, they didn't say, well, I wanna be an NBA player.

You know, they want to be a doctor or pharmaceutical rep. - [Host] For Robinson, who's now a teacher at Riverside University High School, it meant pushing him to go to college.

- I remember one conversation I had with Coach Waisbren and I was just appalled the fact that he went to college for 12 years, because at the time I was like, school is not it for me.

And so he looked back and he said, you know, Donovan, the average professional career is over at about 32, 33.

And he said, mine is just beginning.

And I can do that up until I'm retired.

I don't think I would've ever, you know went to college or even thought about college if it wasn't for that conversation that I had with Coach.

- [Host] And for Kraft, who earned an MBA from Cardinal Strich University, and now works with youth at Obama High School, it was about being exposed to everything life has to offer.

- I always say, if you have someone trapped inside of a room with no windows, the imagination is usually pretty small.

But then you put some windows on that room, then you're able to see a little bit more.

And, but when you're able to get out that room, then you're able to see a lot more.

And that's what Coach did for us.

- [Host] As his current players stand by to hear the alumni talk about everything they've gained from the game, Waisbren hopes they're listening closely and will follow in their footsteps.

- I'd like to duplicate the Northcott experience, you know?

I'd like them to stay in the program and for me to have them in, you know fourth grade, and fifth grade, and sixth grade, and seventh grade, and eighth grade, ninth grade, tenth grade.

You know, I'd like them to have learned skills to allow them to graduate high school and learn skills to go on to college.

Come on, Izzy, finish it.

Go hard.

And I use basketball as the carrot.

You know, I know basketball's a huge draw particularly in the city of Milwaukee.

A lot of it's about developing relationships, them developing a relationship with me and me developing a relationship with them.

Good finish, EJ.

Go hard, though.

Go hard.

(instrumental music) - A great positive story in our community.

Thank you all for joining us for this edition of "10thirtysix".

Remember, you can always check us out on all of our social media platforms.

We'll see you next time.

(instrumental music)