
Swings and Roundabouts
Season 5 Episode 11 | 49m 25sVideo has Closed Captions
Boswell asks Lovejoy to sell some silver, but the police say it is stolen property.
Boswell, a friend of Lovejoy's who runs a travelling fair, asks Lovejoy to sell some silver candlesticks for him. However, the police arrive, saying they are stolen property, and Boswell is arrested.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback

Swings and Roundabouts
Season 5 Episode 11 | 49m 25sVideo has Closed Captions
Boswell, a friend of Lovejoy's who runs a travelling fair, asks Lovejoy to sell some silver candlesticks for him. However, the police arrive, saying they are stolen property, and Boswell is arrested.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
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Learn Moreabout PBS online sponsorship[ Carnival music playing ] Do you remember those days when you were 16 and full of tomorrow?
Take your girl to the fair, put your arm round her on the ghost train.
Cuddle up close on the big wheel.
Thought I'd give it a whirl.
Candy floss, toffee apples.
Bit of romance.
Whee!
-Oh!
-What?
Just like flying, isn't it?
Hmm?
I'd rather you didn't do that.
Sorry.
Right.
Our turn next.
Not me, dear.
I get vertigo stepping on the pavement.
Lovejoy, Boswell wants to see you.
-What, now?
-Now.
Business.
Charlotte, see you in a minute.
Who's Boswell?
Oi, Lovejoy.
Come here.
[ Liquid pouring ] By nature, I'm a traveling man, Lovejoy.
But the game's changed, and I haven't.
Nobody wants to sit on hobby horses anymore.
No, my old gallopers, they're redundant.
They want waltzers and rockets and speed now.
What, so you're going to sell up?
No, but, uh, I'm thinking of cashing in me pension.
Your pension?
What do you reckon that's worth?
It's turn of the century.
It's brass.
It's worth about £100, £125 if you've got the other one.
Not much as far as a pension goes.
But if you're thinking about retiring, what about the carousel?
What, have it broken up and stripped for clubs and restaurants?
You've got to be realistic, Boswell.
Oh, I am.
But that carousel will stay together.
Might do a bit of touring with it, a bit of a novelty, but...
It's family, Lovejoy, family.
And you don't split up a family.
Family.
My family.
Handed down.
Tradition, Lovejoy, tradition.
Here, come and give us a lift with this and have a look at my pension.
There you are.
[ Carousel music playing ] [ Gunshot ] Swap?
Okay.
[ Gunshot ] Try it a bit more to the left.
See what I mean?
I've got something for you.
Really?
What do you think of that?
TINKER: It's a nail.
LIL: Ah, but what kind of a nail?
A rusty nail.
They say it's the nail that closed the lid on Charles I's coffin.
Really?
-What do you think of that?
-Amazing.
What do you think it's worth?
I'd have to have it valued.
See what you can do.
-Eh?
-Okay.
I thought you might like first refusal.
How many have you got?
300.
Just candlesticks?
Edwardian, Georgian, Victorian.
Nothing later than 1910.
And they're all brass?
Well, I could never afford silver.
Besides, brass holds its value.
How much do you reckon they're worth?
I'll have to go through all of them individually.
They're all in good condition.
[ Sighs ] Why don't I pick them up tomorrow?
-Do me a favor, Lovejoy.
-What?
I'd like the money up front.
Boswell, we're probably talking about 15 grand here.
Oh, I know.
Right.
Give me a few days.
I'll see what I can do.
Well, as soon as you can, eh?
Here, look.
Take this with you.
Might bring you a bit of luck.
[ Spits ] [ Spits ] [ Up-tempo music plays ] [ Indistinct conversations in distance ] To our charming host and hostess, Lucy and John.
TOGETHER: Lucy and John.
[ Chuckles ] Thank you.
That's very kind.
[ Laughs ] [ Laughs ] Ee-ee.
Where have you been?
I don't think you're in any position to ask.
Speak for yourself.
God, you look sexy.
Mm.
So do you.
[ Woman shrieking ] CHARLOTTE: Lovejoy.
LOVEJOY: What?
CHARLOTTE: Get off.
How about that, then?
[ Chuckling ] Charlie, how about a drop of port?
Ah, yes.
Your special reserve.
[ Laughter, indistinct conversations ] So, what do you think?
Not much of a menu.
If you'd wanted the à la carte, you should've said.
I think you're outrageous.
Original, though, wasn't it?
I mean, look at this.
Milky Way, Orion's Belt, the Plough.
Wouldn't get this in an Italian restaurant, would you?
Still, I don't suppose you do this often, do you?
I don't suppose you do, either.
Oh, I did when I was a kid.
[ Inhales ] The scent of the grass.
[ Inhales ] The smell of the burning rubber of the dodgems.
Ha ha.
You're just an old romantic.
So what's wrong with that, hm?
[ Carousel music playing ] Do you mind?
-[ Camera shutter clicks ] -Thank you very much.
You like antiques?
Well, I've been known to.
Have you ever heard of Charles I?
Yes, I have.
They're genuine.
I've had them tested.
I've got the certificate of verification.
The very nails that closed the lid on his noble brow.
Surely Charles I was beheaded?
Topless or not, they still had to bury him.
[ Chuckles ] Actually, I've come over for something bigger.
I'm over from the States for the Cavendish Auctions tomorrow.
What's that when it's at home?
Fun fair memorabilia.
-Is that so?
-Mm.
Now, if I could buy a carousel... What?
That thing there.
LIL: Boswell's gallopers?
Ha!
[ Spits ] No chance.
They're family, aren't they?
Now, how much do you want for those nails?
So, what made your father start this annual fair auction?
It was an idea and it worked.
It's a sale like any other.
The fair makes it a bit more of an event, that's all.
God, you're beautiful.
What are you after?
£15,000.
CHARLOTTE: I knew it.
I trust you're not looking at me.
Have you ever thought of a partnership?
CHARLOTTE: Yes.
But not with you.
I was speaking in a financial manner.
So was I.
Tell us a story.
Next time.
[ Carousel music playing ] A pound.
Do you blunt the ends of these?
Here you are.
Dinner.
Oh!
Free go.
It's a knack.
Yeah, I'll sort something out.
Positive thinking, that's it.
I love your optimism.
I love your nose.
What's next?
Bed.
I thought you'd never ask.
Separately.
Two can sleep better than one.
Not in my case.
I know what you mean.
-Lovejoy -- -Do I detect a blush?
There is nothing more attractive than a beautiful woman blushing.
Will you get out?
No.
-Lovejoy.
-You are irresistible.
I've got a very early start.
So have I.
Can't we start together?
Out.
[ Sighs ] Thanks for coming.
Thanks for asking.
[ Engine turns over ] Lovejoy.
Hmm?
You've forgotten something.
What?
This.
Good night.
Good night.
[ Car door closes ] [ Vehicle departs ] [ Indistinct conversations ] And how was the fair last night?
Fun.
-And dinner?
-Different.
And the rest of the evening?
LOVEJOY: Did you sleep well, Charlotte?
CHARLOTTE: Like a log.
So did I. Hello, Kate.
[ Sighs ] Any luck with your adventure?
No, not yet.
But I'm not giving up.
Morning, Lovejoy.
Seen anything you fancy?
Well, there is something, but it's not available at the moment.
TINKER: 19th-century French.
-BETH: French?
-TINKER: Yeah.
How do you know?
'Cause the horse's head is turned out to the right.
You see, French and American carousels go anticlockwise, so the horses face out to the right, and English go clockwise, so the horses face out to the left.
A bit like the way we drive.
Get off.
It's true.
Look.
English.
Horse turned out to the left.
You're right.
It has been known.
Oh, this is magnificent.
Still only on its second coat of paint.
How can you tell?
Well, the manufacturer's name is on the saddle.
Look.
Here.
See?
More than two coats would've covered it.
They were very proud of their names.
Like an artist signing a painting.
Right, Tink?
Any luck?
No.
I think candlesticks are gonna be off the menu.
I'm sorry I can't help.
I called Maurice, but he said money has gone out of fashion.
Hm.
Look at the way the paint's bubbled.
That's gold leaf.
They used to cover the whole of these things with gold leaf.
It's magnificent.
So, up the drainpipe and over the top.
Must've been very agile.
Where were you, sir?
Uh, I was in the dining room most of the evening.
-And you heard nothing?
-No.
Nor did any of our guests.
How far is the fairground from here?
There were only six makers in the whole country, and they'd construct to your own specifications.
How come?
Everybody had his own design.
Some of them had the heads of rival owners caricatured on the horse's bum.
[ Laughs ] Somebody up there likes me.
It's a tragedy to see these old carousels broken up like this.
Very rare you'll find a complete ride nowadays.
Complete ride?
Yes, like the one at the fair last night.
Do you know that carousel is worth almost £400,000?
Why don't they just put one together?
It's impossible.
Once they're split up, they're lost forever.
And speaking of lost forever, I think I shall disappear into a bowl of gin.
I have found my Picasso.
[ Keyboard clacking ] Now, what's the state of play between you and Lovejoy?
About 40-love in my favor.
With you serving?
Two aces and an unbeatable backhand volley.
-Brilliant.
-Thank you.
Do you give lessons?
No.
ED: Morning, Charlotte.
Ed!
[ Both chuckle ] So, you got across.
Oh, Kate Henshaw, this is Ed Taylor from Boston.
-Pleased to meet you.
-Hello.
I wouldn't have missed this for the world.
You've got some great stuff here.
That's not a Picasso.
It is to me.
BETH: I bet if you scratched the paint off, you'd find the numbers underneath.
-I want you to bid for it.
-[ Gasps ] You're joking?
No.
You can bid up to £1,000.
Just make sure you get it.
I've got a few calls to make.
Ugh!
[ Carousel music playing ] What is this?
Boswell's bargain basement?
I got those legit.
Are you expecting an electricity strike?
Or planning to start your own national grid?
Leave it out.
I'm a collector.
Oh!
So am I.
A collector of people like you.
I've got an alibi.
I wouldn't hold a candle to it if I were you.
You're nicked, Mr. Boswell.
Bring him to the car, will you?
Oh, dear.
CHARLOTTE: £450.
Do I have an advance on £450?
£500.
I now have £500.
£550.
£600.
£650.
£700?
£700.
£750.
Am I all done at £750?
I'm selling at £750.
[ Gavel bangs ] [ Horn honks ] Well?
I did it.
-How much?
-£750.
Good.
Go back in and wait for it.
Take it back to the shop.
Oh, Charlie, what were the police doing 'round your place this morning?
Police, Charlie?
As it happens, I thought they were looking for you and had come to me by mistake.
Really?
What did they want you for?
Receiving?
Someone broke into the Welland-Smythes' last night.
Well, don't worry, Charlie.
I'll tell them you were with me.
I was there.
I was having dinner.
Ooh, very nice.
What was your girl up to in there?
What do you mean?
Bidding for that piece of garbage.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You don't fool me, Lovejoy.
Of course I don't, Charlie.
She was probably bidding for somebody else.
It is allowed, you know.
[ Engine turns over ] So, uh, what did these burglars get?
Ornaments.
Oh?
What sort?
CHARLIE: Plates, goblets, candlesticks.
Candlesticks?
Mm.
Georgian.
Really?
"Oil on canvas, 'Village Fair,' £750.
Lovejoy."
Why?
40-15?
I doubt it.
When it comes to business, Lovejoy isn't sentimental.
He must have seen something that we all missed.
I must look at it again.
He's already taken it.
Charlotte.
How long before my stuff gets across?
About a month.
Any chance of speeding it up?
Yes.
How?
-Money.
-Ah.
How much?
-Can we find out?
-Uh-huh.
How about a drink?
I have to finish off here, I'm afraid.
Well, if you change your mind, I'm across at the hotel, -if you've got a minute.
-Thank you.
Ed?
Why did you bid for that painting?
Fun.
And I thought I might have missed out on something, but I don't think so.
I could see the girl was desperate.
Never go shopping when you're hungry was my old daddy's advice.
How about dinner?
They got no right to do it, no right whatsoever.
It's a nightmare.
Boswell's not a villain, never was and never will be.
So what's it about?
Something to do with a robbery last night.
Said he was suspect.
He's not the sort.
Besides, he was here last night.
I know.
I was with him.
Then perhaps you could tell them.
You've got to do something, Lovejoy.
At least go and talk to him, see if you can help.
He trusts you.
I doubt it after this.
MAN: These darts are blunt!
Murder, isn't it?
Picasso.
-Ah.
-Mm.
Ooh.
[ Police radio chatter ] So you're saying that all those candlesticks are legit?
There's not one dodgy one?
I swear it, Lovejoy.
I don't see how they can hold you.
Well, they seem to think they can.
Why can't you bail me out?
-With what?
-The candlesticks.
They're impounded, along with everything else.
Oh, listen, if you get me out of here, I promise you'll have them candlesticks, honest.
Please.
I'll see what I can do.
BOSWELL: Oi.
You couldn't get me a drink and a packet of fags, could you?
[ Lock clicks open ] [ Lock clicks ] So, this is the painting you were getting for Lovejoy.
Mm.
This is it.
What's all the fuss about?
Picasso.
Pick who?
[ Scoffs ] He thought it was a Picasso.
[ Laughing ] Oh, no!
[ Both laughing ] I know!
He's losing his way, poor chap.
Possibly.
Whatever made him think it was a Picasso?
Sad, isn't it?
Why would he think that?
Mm.
The moment he saw it, he went straight to a phone and he asked me to bid up to £1,000 for it.
-Did he?
-Mm.
Oh, he was afraid you were going to bid against him.
He says you know more about paintings that he'll ever know.
Did he really?
Yeah.
He's quite an admirer of yours, you know.
Funny way of showing it sometimes.
That's just the way Lovejoy is.
It's got something, I suppose.
Whatever it is, it's very early.
Very what?
Very early.
Oh, that's what he said.
Did he?
Yeah.
That American must've thought it had something and all.
How much did you say you paid for this?
So he couldn't have done it.
Why not?
I just told you.
He was sitting with me.
Well, that may be so, Lovejoy, but would a jury believe it?
More to the point, do I believe it?
-Why would I lie, Bob?
-[ Chuckles ] Come on!
Why not?
There were witnesses.
You said you were in a caravan.
Well, we were.
Who saw you in there?
-No one.
-Exactly.
You could've been talking to yourself.
£1,000?
Yep.
Well, you made a profit of 250 quid in under an hour?
That's right.
-You're a genius.
-I know.
-LOVEJOY: Beth!
-Lovejoy will be knocked out.
Yeah?
Do you think he'll give me a bonus?
-Beth, where's the painting?
-Wait till you hear this.
Just a second, Tink.
Where's the painting?
-Tell him, Beth.
-Tink, please.
In a minute.
-Where's the painting?
-Show him.
Show me what?
It's a check.
It's a painting.
-What?
-For £1,000.
This brilliant assistant of yours has made a profit of 250 quid in under an hour.
-Give her a bonus.
-You sold it to Charlie Gimbert.
-I sold it to Gimbert.
-You sold it to Gimbert?
-It was easy.
-I don't believe it.
You made 250 quid out of Charlie?
She is a genius.
-There goes the bail money.
-Eh?
Never mind.
Come on, Tink.
Sorry, Lovejoy.
Have I got it wrong?
No.
No, you got it right, kid.
You just got it right on the wrong day, that's all.
Tink!
Well?
[ Telephone ringing in distance ] Ah, here we are.
-Yes.
-Mm.
They're saying that Boswell went up a drainpipe and got in through a skylight.
Have they seen him?
-LOVEJOY: Not possible.
-TINKER: It's not possible.
Are you suggesting he was working with someone else?
I'm saying that he didn't do it.
I'm saying that he did.
Bob.
These are ours.
And I think I recognize some of the others.
I bought them in Grimsby in '87.
Can you prove that?
No, I can't.
Exactly.
What am I gonna do?
I've got to get out of here.
Start tunneling.
Oh, ha, ha.
Very funny.
Who else knew about your candlesticks?
Why?
We've got to prove they were in your possession before the robbery.
Oh, I see.
Fags.
[ Sighs ] BOSWELL: Hey!
Did you have to take a mortgage out to get this?
This isn't a hotel, you know.
I wouldn't know one candlestick from another.
I'm sorry, Tinker.
I don't want to get involved with the police.
It's against my religion.
We don't want you to get involved, Lil.
We just want you to make a statement that you've seen them before.
I don't know that I have.
TINKER: He says you have.
Must've been a long time ago.
TINKER: The longer, the better.
That's the whole point.
What's important is that you say you saw them before the burglary.
They all look the same to me.
It doesn't matter.
For all I know, he might have stolen them.
But not from the Welland-Smythes.
Once you get involved, anything can happen.
Lil, have I ever let you down?
Tinker, us fair people like to keep ourselves to ourselves.
[ Gunshot ] So, did Boswell ever show you the candlesticks?
I'm afraid not, Lovejoy.
Would you like me to say I'd seen them before?
-No, not if you haven't.
-I just want to help.
It doesn't make sense.
-He couldn't have done it.
-I know.
But the people who had the robbery are saying that some of Boswell's stuff is theirs.
You don't think Boswell did it?
You're saying you bought all these legitimately and yet you can't remember where?
Receipts?
John Arthur Boswell, I'm arresting you on suspicion of the theft of these brass candlesticks.
Anything you say will be taken down and may be used in evidence.
I'm going to sue you for wrongful arrest, Kojak.
Come on, Chippendale.
Try and get on to anybody you can at the Grimsby market who remembers Boswell buying a pair of candlesticks there in 1987.
Cor, we'll be lucky.
It's worth a try.
Where are you going?
Afternoon tea at the Welland-Smythes'.
Passez-moi les cucumber sandwiches.
[ Doorbell rings ] Hello.
My name is Lovejoy.
I'm an antique dealer.
-Didn't we just see you at -- -At the police station.
That's right.
I had some stuff stolen, too.
Any luck?
Uh, well, I thought I had until you claimed them.
-Claimed them?
-Mm.
Pair of Victorian candlesticks.
I could've sworn they were mine.
Yours?
Mm.
I think I had them stolen from the shop.
I didn't want to make a fuss in there.
Could have been embarrassing.
I could be wrong, but I'm sure that they are the pair that I bought in Grimsby on October the 16th, 1987.
I remember the date particularly, you see, because it was an awful night, terrible storm, and all the lights went out in the hotel, and they came in very useful.
Well, you'd have to speak to my husband.
He isn't here at the moment.
Well, I'd recognize them instantly, 'cause one of them has a scratch on the corner, you know -- But they're not here.
They're not here?
No, they had to stay at the station as evidence.
JOHN: You leave all the arrangements to me, Mr. Taylor.
-I'll be in touch.
-My pleasure, John.
Oh, Charlotte.
Everything can be sent express for another £250.
Can they send you, as well?
Hm, I'm a little more expensive.
Hey, I got a big checkbook.
Did you change your mind about dinner?
Far too busy, I'm afraid.
I have time for a quick drink, though.
Great.
So, what do you have to do to get a drink around this place?
Tina?
Oh.
What would you like?
Um, gin and tonic, please.
And a scotch and water for me.
So, Lovejoy's let you off the leash for a while.
I can't imagine what you mean.
Don't worry.
I won't say a word.
I'm just pleased as punch you're here to help me celebrate.
Celebrate what, exactly?
-[ Door closes ] -Oh, really?
Lovejoy, we're in luck.
Boswell's famous in Grimsby.
He's been buying candlesticks there for 10 years.
Mind you, we won't be able to prove it 'cause there's no receipts or bills or anything.
Anybody willing to come forward?
-There might be.
-Thanks.
Um, well, it's the third time the Welland-Smythes have been burgled in the last 18 months, and it's always when the fair's in town.
Last time, it was her jewelry, and they claimed over 100 grand from the insurance.
And don't tell me.
Each time the burglar knew exactly what he was looking for.
-Yeah, but how come he didn't -- -Lovejoy.
Ed Taylor thinks he's bought Boswell's carousel.
Who from?
Boswell's still in nick.
No idea.
He said he's doing the deal today.
Then we need to keep our eye on Mr. Taylor.
I don't blame her, Lovejoy, but I do blame you.
You're a charlatan, an empirical quacksalver medicaster.
-What?
-CHARLIE: A con!
This picture is worth less than the frame it's standing in.
-That's true.
-CHARLIE: It's garbage.
I want my money back and I want it now.
[ Clears throat ] I understand, Charlie.
You understand?
I understand your frustration.
But you must take into account that I paid £750 for that painting.
That's your problem.
Well, not really.
You gave me another £250.
I think you'll find you can't do that to me, Lovejoy.
Why not?
I bought it in good faith.
Beth sold it to you in good faith.
All right.
I shall report you.
Who to?
I won't honor the check.
I'll have it stopped.
Oh, well, that'll look good, won't it?
Especially in the trade, hm?
Charlie Gimbert does not honor his checks.
No.
I can't let you do that, Charlie.
No, I'm going to give this back to you.
Well, on one condition.
What's that?
LOVEJOY: Well, call me old-fashioned, but I think you should make a profit on a transaction, no matter how small, so... -How much?
-£100.
-£20.
-£80.
-£30.
-£70.
-£40.
-£60.
-£50.
-Done.
Are you serious?
Never more so.
You're right about one thing, Charlie.
The painting is worth less than the frame it's in.
-TINKER: 18th-century Italian.
-LOVEJOY: Mm-hmm.
Possibly Maratta.
Salvator Rosa, actually, Tink.
It's the frame, Charlie.
It's a Salvator Rosa.
I phoned Vallender's of St. James', and they said if it's the real thing, which it is, it's probably worth 15 grand and up.
Oh, so that's what you were up to.
A check is a contract, Lovejoy.
Now, you know that.
What check?
What happens if they discover they're not ours?
We'll tell them we made a mistake.
Will you stop making a fuss?
He even said he could recognize them from a scratch.
Oh, yeah.
It's all set up.
What time do you want to meet him?
Right.
Taylor's on the move.
[ Carousel music playing, people squealing ] [ Laughs ] Here you go.
Thank you.
-This is it?
-Yeah.
Mr. Taylor.
Glad you could make it.
I'd walk over broken glass for this opportunity.
Want to take a closer look?
Sure, why not?
[ Chuckles ] We'd better split up.
Lil, have you see Beth or Tinker?
No.
Any luck, Lovejoy?
Not yet.
Lil, what happens to the gallopers if Boswell goes to prison?
Boswell's family's different.
What does that mean?
We've got our own set of rules and our own way of going about things.
Now that Boswell's been arrested, the rights of the gallopers move on to the next man and stay his until Boswell's released or found not guilty.
So technically at this minute, Boswell doesn't even own them?
That's right.
And whoever does could sell them?
If they wanted to, but they wouldn't.
-But they could.
-Yes.
-So who would that be?
-The next of kin.
Who is that?
His nephew.
The hobby horses!
They're beautiful.
Where's Boswell?
-He's waiting for you.
-Where?
In his caravan.
Come on.
They can't be far.
Just over there.
I've found them.
Where's Lovejoy?
I left him by the rifle range.
Well, I'll stay here.
You go and get him.
They're in there.
Right.
They must be 'round the back.
Lovejoy!
Well, Tink?
They're still in there.
What now?
I think it's time we called in the police.
Leave it to me.
Here they come.
BOYD: I'll pack your ride up tonight before the fair moves off tomorrow.
Thank you very much, Mr. Boswell.
Your uncle will be very proud to know you're using the family name, Mr. Boswell.
Tink!
Was it something I said?
Oh!
It's all right, Tinker.
I've got him.
Oh!
[ Siren wailing ] [ Electricity crackling ] Get me down!
[ Gasps ] Get me down!
In a minute.
While you're hanging about up there, you can answer me something.
Get me down, will you?
LOVEJOY: What did you do with the stuff you nicked the other night?
Oh, look, I'm losing my grip.
What did you do with it, Boyd?
It's back in their house.
The Welland-Smythes, yeah?
Yes!
They set up the break-ins, which you did, and then they collect the insurance, right?
Yes!
And then you set up Boswell.
BOYD: Look, I'm slipping.
I can't hear you.
Then you set up Boswell, right?
Yes!
Right.
Bring him down.
It won't go.
What do you mean, it won't go?
It must be the generator.
-Oh, Lovejoy, please come down.
-[ Moaning ] TINKER: You know I can't stand heights.
I'm doing my best, Tink.
I can't.
I'm going.
Swing out.
Otherwise, you'll fall into the machinery.
Going.
Going!
[ Crowd gasps ] Aaaaah!
[ Carousel music playing ] Can you believe the brass-nosed cheek of it?
I don't care if I hear the name Welland-Smythe ever again.
He cynically used my good name as a cover.
I was sitting there having dinner with them while Boyd was upstairs doing the break-in.
Which they knew all along.
So they collected the insurance, and he returned the goods?
Incredible.
The unbridled greed and deviousness of the criminal mind, eh?
I mean, who can fathom it?
Who can?
It's you I feel sorry for, old sport.
I mean, you came out of it with nothing.
On the contrary.
I came out of it rather well.
Oh, really?
How's that?
When I didn't get the carousel, Lovejoy turned me on to the candlesticks.
Candlesticks?
Boswell's candlesticks.
They're worth a fortune in the States.
Now, why would he do that?
Returning a favor.
Favor?
It was a terrible painting, wonderful frame.
I bid for it myself originally.
I didn't know what I was looking at.
[ Chuckles ] Yes.
And, uh... ...how much did you pay him for this frame?
£18,000.
A snip.
[ Chuckles ] Candy floss and ice cream.
Popcorn.
And toffee apples.
Swings and roundabouts.
Mm.
It's great to be a kid again.
Excuse me, may I have a kiss?
Certainly.
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