(soft music) - Hello, I'm Portia Young.

Welcome to another edition of 10thirtysix, here on Milwaukee PBS.

Coming up, meet my mom who grew up in Louisiana picking cotton, then studied hard to become a teacher.

Find out if her American dream has become a reality.

Plus being a teacher these days, isn't easy.

We'll explore the teacher shortage across the country and right here in Wisconsin.

And that's where we begin.

An alarming number of teachers are quitting or thinking about quitting.

According to the Wisconsin Education Association Council, the number of students studying teaching is down 35% nationally, with some Wisconsin programs seeing even steeper enrollment declines.

The Economic Policy Institute estimates that by 2025, we will have roughly 110,000 fewer teachers than the country needs.

So what's behind this teacher shortage?

Some say low pay and the pandemic, but an Ohio teacher's blog that has gone viral, seen by teachers here at home, even picked up by the Washington Post, seems to indicate problems long before COVID.

Julie Rine Holderbaum wrote about a teacher's brain on a typical school day.

It consists of 113 questions.

She says that's half the number of questions from her first draft.

We wanna share her blog and interview with you to get a better sense of what's happening in the teaching profession.

It's long, but we felt it important for you to hear her entire unfiltered thoughts.

(gentle music) - I am a high school English teacher.

This is my 26th year in the classroom.

I'll be honest, I have thought about not teaching anymore.

Leaving the profession is pretty daunting.

I don't know what else I would do.

The energy level that it takes to do the job effectively, I don't know how long I can maintain that.

I had a day that I just had a hard time letting go of, and when I went home, I just kept thinking about all of the students that I had, the interactions I had, the decisions I made.

And what I often do when I have a day that I have a hard time letting go of, whether it's because of teaching or any other stressor, I write.

And I just kind of get it out on the page, and that helps me kind of set it aside then, so that I can move forward and not have it spinning around in my mind quite so much.

Am I becoming the old cranky English teacher who nitpicks and loses sight of the big picture?

Am I too tired for this job?

Am I be coming too cynical?

Are my standards too high?

Haven't I lowered them since I began teaching all those years ago, though?

Should I have?

Nobody goes into teaching thinking it's going to be easy, or thinking they're going to get rich.

You know what you're signing up for.

The challenges, when I first started teaching were how to present a lesson in a meaningful way, how to adjust a lesson on the fly, you know, like I said, when you're teaching and you realize this isn't quite landing.

Should I work through lunch or head to the workroom?

Will I feel better if I have half an hour of adult conversation, or if I get more of these papers graded?

Do I need to make any hard copies of the handout next period?

Did I remember to upload the video in the Google doc to Google Classroom for the kids who are absent?

I think what has changed the job in the last few years, prior even to COVID, there's been a lot more criticism of teachers, if I may be frank.

I feel that when I first started, the attitude was, "Well they're professionals, and they know what they're doing, and they're doing the best they can.

And they have my child's best interest at heart, and there was a lot of trust."

Society's starting to question teachers, starting to question, do we know what's best?

And are we teaching what we should be teaching?

A little more tug between teachers and communities and parents.

Will I be accused of teaching divisive concepts if I lead a discussion about why we're not going to use the N word out loud in class, when we read "Of Mice and Men?"

Will the kids go home and tell their parents what we talked about?

Do kids still do that?

Do parents still ask?

Is this book worth the battle it might lead to, or should I just teach Fahrenheit 451 instead?

Wouldn't that be ironic?

And isn't that exactly what those who scream about CRT being taught want?

For teachers to fear the repercussions and give into temptation to just teach safe material instead?

So that the status quo will keep on keeping on and generations of kids will continue to grow up in the dark about so much of the ugly side of America's history?

Is this worth the fight it might bring?

Well, obviously it's worth the fight, but am I mentally and emotionally up for this battle, this year especially?

More importantly, will my Black students be uncomfortable if their White teacher leads this discussion in class?

I know enough not to ask a Black student to speak on behalf of an entire race, but would it be okay to privately ask a Black student how they would feel about this discussion or that book?

I recognize the fact that I'm a middle aged White woman.

I can't relate to what it's like to be Black in this country and certainly not a teenager.

So those conversations have always been important to me, and yet not necessarily comfortable.

But recently with the racial dissension, I guess, in our country, we've had some protests, which some people look upon favorably, some people criticize protests.

We've had all these court cases and the decisions in the court cases.

We've had multiple feelings and perspectives on how those cases have turned out.

And that's not unique to the country, that comes into the schools.

It's gotten more challenging in recent years, because there's been a growing movement among some state legislators who are concerned that schools might be teaching critical race theory.

We are not, I can assure you.

That is a higher level theory taught in law schools.

What we are teaching is the history of America.

And I think we're trying to teach honestly what has happened, and you know, it is uncomfortable.

It's unpleasant.

America hasn't always made the best decisions.

America is made up of a whole lot of people, and no person is perfect.

We are complex.

Should I grade these 45 quick 10-point responses first or tackle the 25 longer essays?

Go back and forth between the two?

Am I fair to every student when I don't grade an assignment all at once?

Do I grade the first essays harder or easier than the last ones?

Why do I feel guilty when I take points off for not capitalizing "I" or proper pronouns?

Why don't they click on the squiggly lines and fix their typos and spelling and grammar errors when the computer's literally marking them for them?

Why are they still making these basic mistakes, we've gone over them so many times?

Do they just not care about their grades?

Do they even go back and read my comments and look at why they've lost points?

Is this an academic issue or a motivation issue or a self worth issue?

Do we need to do more lessons on catching these mistakes, or do I need to talk with them about the importance of the impression of themselves that they put out into the world?

Is it unfair for a student to earn a C for a grade when the content of their work is probably at a B or even an A level, but their spelling and grammar mistakes are so ubiquitous and egregious that they lose points on every assignment?

Is asking too much of them to click on the dang squiggly lines?

Teachers aren't afraid of accountability.

I can defend what I teach and how I teach to anybody who, you know, would like me to do so.

But it makes it a little more stressful, because that's where you start to second guess everything that you do and everything that you teach, and how you interact with your students.

And that puts a burden, I think, on the job that didn't use to be there.

Does that kid who just smiled at me and said, "Hey, Ms.

H!"

have any idea how much I needed that friendly smile right now?

You know, I'm a parent, so I have a student, a senior in high school, and so I'm nearing the end of my school days with her.

I've tried to show appreciation for her teachers, but looking back on it, I recognize I probably haven't done enough.

If you know a teacher say, "Thank you."

Write 'em a little, thank you note.

Just let them know that you see them and you value the work they're doing.

Why is the office calling down that long list of kids?

Are they getting quarantined and sent home?

Wait, they don't have to stay home anymore, but they have to wear a mask now, right?

So will I get a list of kids who are supposed to be wearing masks for two weeks?

How am I gonna keep track of that?

How many more times can I say, "Pull your mask up over your nose," before I start inserting curse words into that sentence?

Do I have time to run to the bathroom between classes?

Risk someone being in the single-stall teacher bathroom, or go to the student bathroom further away?

Is that crying in the next stall?

Hey, are you all right?

Do you need to talk?

Which class do you have right now?

Can I walk you down to the guidance office?

Will my class of freshmen be okay if I get there a little late?

Can we settle down and get started, please?

Where's your Chromebook?

Why isn't it charged?

Well, where's your charger.

Why wouldn't you borrow one from the library then?

Is that yelling in the hallway?

What's going on?

Did one of you just call the other a bitch?

Why are the kids behaving like this, this year?

Is it COVID-related, or just the stress of COVID plus all the other division and dissension in society that we're all contending with?

Is Michael acting off today?

Is he tired or just depressed?

Should I pull him out in the hall and ask him if he's okay, or would it be worse to draw attention to him?

Should I call home?

Have his grades been slipping?

Did he do the assignment that was due for me today?

- I do think that maybe people don't quite understand that it's stressful.

I think from the outside, looking in, the hours that you're in the school building, they don't look that bad, right?

You know, you have to be here at 7:15 and you leave at 2 45.

That's not a very long day.

That's a pretty nice schedule.

I don't think a lot of people understand how much work goes into it outside of those hours.

I don't think outside of teaching, a lot of people realize how you do get to know the students, and that makes it very difficult to set school aside, because you go home thinking about those students, you worry about those students.

You worry about the kid who didn't seem quite right today.

You worry about the kid who you know their mom has cancer.

You worry about the kid who, you know, got broken up with last night.

It's a small community in a classroom, and you do get to know those kids, and it's emotional.

I think that's what's, you can't just walk away from it.

We know we're preparing these students to go off into a world that is tricky at best, treacherous, maybe even at worst.

And so we want them to be prepared academically and socially and emotionally.

Does Becky have her cell phone in her lap?

Why isn't it in the slot with the others?

Is it worth calling her out on it?

Right now or later, privately?

And either way, do I want to risk setting her off when she's been doing so well and we seem to be forging a tentative relationship?

Is it a big deal if she isn't actually using it?

Or has she been using it, and I just haven't seen it happen?

Why isn't the Chromecast working?

Why would it work last period, and not this period?

Is the internet down?

Why are we either freezing or frying?

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to regulate the heat in our own rooms?

Is this email for real?

Are they kidding with us?

Another meeting?

Another book study?

This year of all years?

Don't we have enough to do?

Can't they just give us more time to plan or collaborate with each other on the actual work that needs done?

We need to be concerned because teacher mental health affects the students.

And I know teachers who are taking mental health days that never would've done that before.

I started doing yoga, which I had done off and on prior to COVID hitting.

But when we went remote, I figured out very quickly I needed to do something to relieve stress, because it was just an almost unbearable situation.

Am I getting sick or am I just exhausted?

Is my throat sore from talking so much today, or because I'm coming down with something?

Will they be able to find a sub if I stay home tomorrow?

What am I teaching tomorrow?

Is it something I can adapt easily for a sub, or will I need to come up with something new?

How much will that impact my plans for the rest of the week?

We lower the qualifications necessary to be a substitute, because we're so desperate.

The teaching will suffer, and there's a lot more technique and skill involved than just reading books.

Why can't I be more of a type B teacher?

Isn't it just easier to suck it up and go to school with a cold?

But what if it's COVID?

Is that an email from a parent?

Do I have the energy to deal with that tonight?

Why are they emailing me so late?

So we should be very concerned.

There's the stress of COVID.

There's the societal stress.

There's the not feeling that we are respected, given that no other profession comes out of anywhere except teachers, right?

I mean, in my classroom right now, or in some classroom right now in this country is the future president of the United States.

In some country right now, or some classroom right now is a scientist who might come up with some really great way to treat cancer.

In these classrooms is the future.

It's cliche, teachers touch the future, but it is true.

Where is that info about that poetry contest?

When was the deadline?

How did I not know until now what a great writer Jane is?

Oh no, Michael didn't do the assignment.

Is it too late to call home tonight, or should I wait and call from school tomorrow?

Do his parents work during the day?

Do they support his use of he/him pronouns?

Do I need to refer to him as Michelle when I talk to them?

Why am I watching the news?

Oh my God, another one?

How many school shootings does that make this year?

Is the legislature seriously going to try to pass that?

Do they have any clue how that will impact teaching and learning?

Why do the people with the power to address some of the problems always seem to arrive at solutions without asking educators for feedback?

Don't they realize that only leads to more issues.

I think standardized tests have gotten out of control.

There's so much more to a student than what one particular test score is on one particular day.

And we've lost sight of that.

Students are judged on those scores.

Teachers are judged on those scores, and there are so many factors that play into how a student performs on a particular test on a particular day.

I think if we could eliminate or significantly decrease the standardized test and the pressure that is attached to them, if we could just get back to learning for the sake of learning, we'd have more time to do more creative activities to learn, we would have more time in the elementary schools for play.

Having lower class sizes would be one really tangible, major way that could impact teaching in a positive way.

It's a bit terrifying to think about just immediately, if we have fewer teachers, that doesn't mean we have fewer kids.

So the first thing that will happen is your class sizes will increase.

I have a class right now of 25 students, and I have a class of 16 students.

There's a big difference.

Are all teachers as overwhelmed and exhausted as I am?

When the blog went out there into the world, I started getting some feedback and some comments online.

And so many of the comments were to the effect of, "How'd she get into my head?"

or "This is exactly what I deal with all day long, what I think all day long."

It was a bit sad for me to realize that so many other teachers were feeling that overwhelmed and weighed down, but it was also validating that I wasn't alone.

It's not just me.

It's not just me getting too old for this gig.

That even the younger teachers, maybe even, especially the younger teachers, are struggling with the demands of the job.

Does anyone care what teachers are going through in this country?

When is someone going to do something about it?

- A Middleton High School teacher read Julie's blog, and spoke with 10thirtysix producer, Maryann Lazarski.

He's only been teaching for two years and wrote an unpublished essay about similar situations.

Again, his words are unfiltered.

- My name is Will Montei.

I teach English at Middleton High School.

I came to teaching in a roundabout way.

I'm one of those people that never thought I'd ever be a teacher, never wanted to be a teacher for a long time.

I was a bad high school student, so I didn't enjoy being in school.

Why would I wanna come back to this place?

I think after entering into my adulthood and going through a lot of other jobs, I had the desire to, one, do something important, but I believe in the project of education.

I do not believe that democracy is possible without education.

- Is it what you expected?

- Oh, no.

(Will laughs) I mean, I knew going into it that teaching was never going to be an easy job.

My mom came across Julie's blog and sent it over to me, and was just like, "This is everything that you've been talking about."

And so I read it and I was like, "Yeah, this is it."

All these questions, they run through your brain every single day.

And the funny part about it is that it's only a fragment, like that's a small, small fragment of the questions, and the rapid pace in which those questions come at you.

I didn't know how much self-doubt there would be in teaching.

I thought that because I believed in the power of English and the power of what I was teaching, that I'd just go into the classroom strong every day, but quickly learned that there are other elements of the classroom that sort of fill you with doubt, make you wonder if you're doing the right thing.

The essay that I wrote, I had to write it.

I came home from work one day.

I think this was right before November break, and I couldn't think about anything other than teaching.

I had realized that there were ideas in my head that needed to be written, and if I didn't write them, I might not be able to sleep that night, 'cause they'd just be stuck inside me.

So I wrote it, and it was after a particularly difficult day of teaching.

I mean, it was just a very eventful day.

And I felt like was failing my students, and I felt like the issues that students were facing were beyond what I had been trained to face.

(tranquil music) That day I was trying to teach a lesson, and there were a lot of students on their phones, making TikTok videos.

I couldn't get the students to put their phones away.

I couldn't, I would wait for them to be silent.

You know, do the thing where you like stand at the front, just be like, I'll wait for people to be silent, and it would happen.

And then I'd start teaching, and then, you know, a minute later, eyes would be glued back on the phone and a ruckus would be happening.

When I was in grad school in 2018, there was no mention of the difficulty of cell phone use.

(tranquil music) A lot of the problems that we're facing in teaching right now have always been there.

If you look at the way that the pandemic has changed our politics, the way that we perceive government institutions, like the distrust of government institutions from both parties, and that's affecting adult generations.

That distrust of institutions, of course, is going to bleed down to younger generations.

And I think that young people right now are questioning education and school systems the same way that we are questioning government systems as a society.

Students are victims of these changes, not the people causing them.

No one wants to do a profession where they're gonna be, where parents are bringing guns in the school board meetings, because you mentioned something about United States history that they didn't want their children to think about.

(tranquil music) - Have you ever thought seriously about quitting?

(Will laughs) - Of course.

Yeah, I mean almost any teacher I talk to is like, "Not a day goes by where I don't wonder about it."

If I were to say practically, like, what's it gonna take?

Well, where are young people looking?

What are they looking at and consuming?

If YouTube and Snapchat and Instagram and TikTok can do more to make young people value the good stuff, not images, not looks, not money, but like teach them to value each other more deeply and figure out how to do that.

I mean, yeah, again, they're gonna have, that's where I see it happening, unfortunately.

- While Julie and Will say they believe in education, and really have loved what they do, they hope for change.

And as for cell phone use in the classroom, that's being discussed.

One method of teaching suggests working with students and their phones rather than fighting it.

We want to continue exploring this issue and what can be done about it.

If you're a teacher out there, public or private, any grade level or studying education, we want to hear your thoughts.

Please leave your information at milwaukeepbs.org/teachersincrisis.

My mom was a teacher, a history teacher, in fact.

We had a mother/daughter talk about the importance of education and how her experiences growing up during segregation in Louisiana impacted her American dream.

(patriotic music) When I think of the American dream, I think of my mother, and how I'm just one generation away from the cotton fields of Louisiana.

As a little girl, instead of going to school in September, my mother went to the fields, picking cotton with her uncles and grandparents who were sharecroppers, or as she describes it, one step up from a slave.

- I was thinking that I shouldn't be there, and I should be at school, because I already knew that I could recite everything and I was number one in my class.

So I wanted to be in school and not in the field.

- For my mother, learning was her escape, despite her segregated school.

- It was a relief and a release, a relief and a release.

And the Black schools that I went to K through 8, outdoor toilets we had, and there were like 12 on each side for the girls.

And you were facing another girl, every time you went to the bathroom.

That was a horrible thing.

And I always thought that was the most awful thing in the world.

You didn't wanna go all day.

You would just try to wait until you got home.

- She walked a mile to school, while the white children rode the bus.

Her books were hand me downs, marked up and torn pages.

Her part of town was terrorized at night.

- We had what was called shotgun houses, where they could shoot straight through.

So they would put all the lights out, they meaning the Klan, they mean the mayor.

We knew by night, they were Klansmen by day.

They were your overseers.

- Still, my mother went on to graduate high school as valedictorian, and went on to graduate school on scholarship.

She eventually became a public school history teacher, because she knew America could be better.

- The America dream is always what I know now was in the Declaration of Independence, where all people are supposed to be treated equal, and you have the right for the pursuit of happiness, and there should be equality.

There should be sameness.

So I always strove to make sure that I was on track, and I would be able to get a part, a piece.

So no, I still haven't achieved the dream.

I know what the dream is.

- My mother says she sees the dream in us and our children.

She rarely talks about her childhood, so this interview was more difficult than I thought it would be.

You definitely gave us a great childhood that was far from what I imagine yours was.

I know you probably don't hear that enough from me, but I feel like you did give us the American dream, and I'm very, very proud of that and grateful for everything you've done for us.

- So this is all I had to give.

- And you gave it all.

- That's what I gave.

- My mom is amazing.

That's it for this edition of 10thirtysix.

Please check us out on Facebook and always at milwaukeepbs.org.

See you next time.

Stay well.

(bright music)