(jaunty music) - This is the chance of a lifetime, Mr. Tanaka.

- [Tanaka] Uh-huh?

- But I need big bait.

I need something unique, something really valuable.

- How valuable?

- [Lovejoy] This valuable.

- [Tanaka] Do you know how much that is worth?

It is totally priceless.

No one in the art world even knows that it is here in the West.

- Oh, Mr. Tanaka.

When Captain Ahab went looking for Moby Dick, he didn't use frozen peas.

Is you in, or is you ain't?

(gentle music) - I think I'm in.

- [Lovejoy] Now, I know for a fact that recently, Harry Catapodis spent one and a half million dollars in Russia, buying what he calls trinkets.

Now, if your Rublev icon isn't an expensive trinket, I don't know what is.

That's why I plan to ask for $3.

- What?

$3 million?

It is insured for 10 million.

- If he doesn't think it's a bargain, he won't bite.

- Lovejoy, I think I've changed.

I can see that this operation is going to cost more than we will recover.

- Mr. Tanaka, he's not actually going to buy the icon, only believe he is.

- He's gone to a lot of trouble, Mr. Tanaka.

At least hear him out.

What do you have there?

- I have here a document which e at my own expense.

- Hey, this is written in Russi.

- Oh, no shit, Sherlock.

- It's really ancient.

Smells o.

What does it say, Lovejoy?

- This document was written in 1850, right?

It tells the story of your icon.

It says that, in the 18th centu, prior to a visit from Catherine the Great to Vladimir, a town near Moscow, where an Andrei Rublev screen was being dismantled, icons were being taken from the, and given to various churches.

But some of them were taken by the old believers.

- Old what?

- [Lovejoy] Pious Russian famil, who keep and guard the icons through the ages, and pass them on from generation to generation.

Your icon is one of those owned by the old believers.

- Did you make that up?

- Well, yes and no.

There are still Andrei Rublev icons unaccounted for.

They're worth millions.

Only banks can afford them.

Mr. Tanaka will tell you.

Where did you get yours from?

- From a certain Eastern Europe.

It was used as part payment of a large loan.

- See?

They're unobtainable.

So, we're going to tell Catapodis that this family wants to sell theirs for hard c. - Catapodis will be very angry u when he finds out that you cheated him out of $3 million.

Maybe he will even kill you.

- [Cassandra] Tanaka's right, L. Harry's got some very heavy con.

- Won't be me that's doing the .

I'll leave that to my man.

- Is your man trustworthy?

- No.

But when it comes to cons, Mordechai's got one of the best track records there is.

- What exactly do you need from?

- I need to copy the Rublev Ico.

I need a ward chest of 10,000 p. And I want a promise from both , not to be in touch with Harry Catapodis until this thing is all over.

- Do you trust him, Mrs. Lynch?

- Don't forget: we're the ones who asked him to handle this.

- [Tanaka] Then I give you the , you pay him and keep accounts?

- Agreed.

- [Tanaka] On one condition: the Rublev goes nowhere without Watanabe.

Not even for one single moment.

- [Watanabe] If anything goes wrong, Lovejoy, you finish up as sushi.

(mellow music) (van rumbling) (case clicks) (Marcel speaking French) - What on earth is he doing?

- He's praying for a miracle.

(Marcel speaking French) - Pull yourself together, Marce.

Your hair's too far gone, even for an act of God.

Marcel, this is Mrs. Lynch.

- Enchantee.

- And this is Miki Watanabe.

- Enchant.

- Miki will be with the icon at.

It will arrive by armored vehicle every morning, and leave by armored vehicle every evening.

- Mhmm.

Just look at it.

Imagine Rublev's state of mind to paint such a thing.

Without mysticism, man could achieve nothing great.

Ah, it glows.

It's vibrant.

How exact do you want this copy?

- Exact.

(Cassandra sighs) - Lovejoy.

- Yeah?

- Exactly who is that man?

Seems like he rows with only on.

- Marcel Jaworsky.

Finest, baldest and poorest icon restorer in Europe.

- Poorest?

You just paid him 1000 pounds for a week's work.

- No, no, that'll all be gone bk on a hair restorer.

You think he's flaky?

You ain't seen nothing yet.

- [Mordechai] Ma Nishma, Ma Nishma?

How is the boychik?

How are you, Reb Lovejoy?

- Fine.

this is the Mrs. Lynch I was telling you about.

Mordechai, an old friend of min.

- Pleased to meet you, Mordecha.

- The pleasure's mine, the pleasure's mine.

Please, take a seat, take a sea.

- Thank you.

- [Mordechai] Can I get you a glass of tea?

- How about a G&T?

(Mordechai laughs) - Lovejoy, gin and tonic?

Madam?

- Yes, gin and tonic would be just fine, thank you.

- Oh yes, gin and tonic coming .

I'm sorry to hear you got blowed by this Greek gonif, but we'll get it all back for you, Mrs. Lynch, every penny, plus interest.

Believe me, I know these things.

- I'm glad to hear that.

- Bacon?

- Some do, some don't.

There's only one thing wrong with this scheme of yours, Lovejoy.

- What's that?

- [Mordechai] A couple of genuine Russian matelots, I can supply.

Boys with so much chutzpah, you'd buy the Battleship Potemkin from them for cash.

But, enjoy, enjoy.

- But?

- [Mordechai] But the one flaw in your plan, Lovejoy, is this: where in God's name are we going to get a Russian ship from?

I mean, they're not exactly locks and bangles, are they?

- Mordechai, part of the reason I've brought you in on this gig is because of a small but important conversation we had a while ago about your brother in law.

The docker, remember?

The one who was so connected with Russian ships he fed his cat caviar?

- You mean Moshef?

Yes, well, I'm afraid he don't work there no more.

He got three years for stealing a ship's lifeboat.

Yeah.

- Wait a minute.

I think I know someone who can get us a ship.

- Oh.

- In fact, I think he owns a shipping company.

- How well do you know him?

- He asked me to marry him a couple of times, but I wouldn't dream of it.

And I'm afraid he doesn't serve his cat caviar.

(jaunty jingle) - So, did you spot the delibera?

- No, can't say I did.

What was?

- Mordechai, he's not Jewish.

- He's not Jewish?

You've got to be kidding.

- He just talks and dresses tha.

- Is he a little... - [Lovejoy] Crazy?

No.

Sane as .

He reckons the public have respect for uniforms.

They think they know exactly who they're dealing with.

Gives him an edge.

(birds chirping) (gravel crunches) That's the spirit, lads.

Tea?

- Yes.

- Keep at it.

(gentle jingle) So, you still miss Donald?

- [Cassandra] Sure I do.

Sometimes I miss him so much thl like I'm the only person left on the earth.

Nights are the hardest.

I'm alo.

Have you ever been married, Lov?

- Yeah.

Not anymore.

We were both very young.

You know, we confused, "I love " with, "I want to marry you."

It's our daughter really, that kept us together.

She's 18 now.

- Do you think you'd ever do it?

- No.

Sugar?

- Well, Lovejoy, has Marcel Jaworsky triumphed a, or has he not?

- Yes, he has triumphed again.

?

- You gave me one week, Lovejoy.

I could have used emulsion and wallpaper paste.

- Did you get the other stuff I asked you for?

- Mhmm.

- What do you think, Cass?

- It's incredible.

I really can't tell the differe.

- What about you, Miki?

Fooled ?

- They look the same to me.

- I still need a couple more ho, just to get the right bloom and, so if you want to go for a meal and come back at, say, three o'clock, I'd be delighted- - No, no, no, no, no.

By the time we come back at thr, he'll be half way to Paris with the real Rublev, won't you, Marcel?

- Kuso.

You point to the icon, please.

- Yes, si.

- Is he telling the truth?

- Yes, he's telling the truth.

- I don't know.

I know what it .

I was just testing, Lovejoy.

I would not pull a stroke like .

- "I would not pull a stroke li" You're ruthless, Marcel.

You'd do anything for a full he.

- I don't know why you bother.

I'm sure a lot of women find that very seductive.

- Really?

Thank you.

Au revoir.

- Au revoir.

Au revoir.

(both laughing) Au revoir.

(car rumbling) - Afternoon, Lovejoy.

- Just a bloody minute.

That's my bed, you've got there.

- Not anymore, it isn't.

But we've left your mattress and your bedding up there.

- The couple that bought the refectory table and chairs fancied a matching bed, so we sold them the whole set.

- Got a good price for it, too.

- But I can't sleep on the floo.

It's the '90s, not the '60s.

- Well, that's a bit before my .

- Lovejoy.

- What?

- Can I see you?

- Yeah.

- Please take this the way it's, but you can't operate out of th, so why don't you stay at my place for a few days.

There's eight bedrooms.

- No, it's an imposition, Cass.

No, no, wait, listen.

People start to spread rumors.

You know, gossip and lies.

- [Cassandra] Look, after Donal, the locals spread rumors that I was either dating or sleeping with people like Mick Jagger or Donald Trump.

- Oh.

Well, maybe just for a couple o, until I can pick something up with an auction.

Oh, Eric.

Excuse me.

It's genius.

- What?

What?

- Are you selling those, too?

(Lovejoy laughs) (fabric tears) - Single icons were kept in vel, and we need two of them.

It's important that they feel and smell right.

Would you hold that?

- Yes.

- So they would have accumulated smells like must, dust, mouse pee, vodka, borscht, tobacco, a host of other things Russian.

Okay.

(Lovejoy wheezes) Give us another century and a couple of wars thrown in.

Smell that.

- That's incredible.

It smells like the inside of a- - What?

- Of a very old church.

I can smell candles.

Incense.

That sweet and sour smell of something very, very old.

- Yeah.

- Lovejoy, you're a genius.

You any good at sewing?

- Sure.

There's a machine around here someplace.

- No, no, no, Cass.

I don't think Mr. Singer was around at the time of Catherine the Great.

- You mean I have to sew by han?

- I'll help you.

- You think of everything, don'?

- Mhmm.

- You know, Lovejoy, this is almost the most exciting thing I've ever done in my whole life.

I said almost.

- And now, Mr. Tanaka, it's testing time.

Would you care to ask the real Andrei Rublev to stand up, please?

(tense music) You can ask Miki to help you.

He watched it getting painted.

(Tanaka speaking Japanese) (Tanaka and Watanabe speaking J) - We choose this one.

This is t. - Good.

Then that's the one that Harry s is going to pay $3 million for.

- [Watanabe] You're lying, Love.

You are about to walk out of here with $10 million worth of icon.

I know you.

- Miki, what the hell are you d?

- This is the original, the one.

I have no intention of going anywhere with either of them.

Tell him to quit that Seven Samurais stuff, or I'm off the case.

(Tanaka and Watanabe speaking J) - I'm deeply sorry.

I apologize.

- I...

I accept your apology, Miki.

We can have a bit of magic now.

If an icon's been kept in a bag for a couple of hundred years, you'd expect some of the paint to flake off, right?

Well, these are authentic paints from a 14th century icon.

So, when Catapodis wants to test the paint for age, he can have all the samples he .

(Tanaka laughs) (jaunty music) - [J.P.] Product launch on a Russian cargo ship.

My dear, sweet Cassandra, have you ever been onboard one of these things?

They're not exactly cruise line.

You'd never get anybody in his right mind to come.

What are you launching, a green diesel oil?

- A new aftershave called Peres.

We think it'll go down well in .

- Ought to go down well in the .

Now, I've marked off all the Russian ships we deal with, with a schedule to call into UKs during the next few months.

Now, you choose one and I'll arrange for you to go onboard.

- You are a most kind and generous man, J.P. How can I ever repay you?

- [J.P.] My dear Cass, by comine to Cape D'Antibes next week.

My mother's staying at the vill.

She enjoys your company enormou.

- Well, I'm sorry, I can't.

I do have a stable to run.

We're in the middle of the seas.

- Don't you think Cassandra shoe make an honest woman of her, Lo?

- I thought she already was, J.. (jaunty jingle) - [Mordechai] Ships expected in the British Isles.

- What about that one?

The Nikolai Bulganin?

- Hmm.

- No, that's going to Liverpool.

We want Felixtowe, Harwich, or .

- What about this?

The Alexande.

General cargo from Archangel, arrives in Southampton in five days' time.

- Does that give us enough time?

- Five days is a lifetime in a .

And it goes on to Rotterdam after leaving Southampton, so maybe they've got a buyer for the Rublev in Holland, if you know what I mean.

- We go for it, then?

- Yeah, let's go for it.

- Do you realize that what we're about to do is criminal?

I mean, it's not like stealing hubcaps or anything.

- Lady, if you're going to put d into the haimische pickle jar, put it in right up to the elbow.

- Oy vey.

- [Radio Presenter] And for Dal, it's a high-line drive over sho.

And the bases are loaded.

- That's okay.

- [Driver] Thanks a lot, chief.

You have yourself a good day.

- Hello?

Thank you, Michelle.

Lovejoy, what a surprise.

How are you?

- [Lovejoy] Fine, Harry.

Just f. - What can I do for you?

- I've had a very good tip from a friend of mine, which I thought might interest .

- [Harry] Uh-huh?

- [Lovejoy] There's an Andrei Rn arriving on a Russian ship in f. It's for sale.

- Get the Getty Foundation, Dan.

Oh yeah?

How much they want?

- $3 million.

(Harry laughs) - It sounds to me like it's bee.

- No, apparently not.

They've got papers of provenance for it and everything.

- [Harry] I don't know, Lovejoy.

Icons are very hard to place.

The black market is a very narr.

Ay ay ay ay ay.

I'm not sure.

I'll have to give it some thought.

Have they got anything else?

- No, only the icon.

I just thought it might interest you.

I think they've got someone lined up for it in Rotterdam, anyway.

- Well, it's good that you think of old Harry, eh?

Ah, have you seen anything of the widow Lynch recently?

- Not since the charity do.

Why, do you want me to give her?

- [Harry] Are you kidding?

That ungrateful bitch.

She says she's going to sue me for three quarters of a million dollars, for a Canaletto, which she claims is phony.

Phony, my ass.

Stay away from her, Lovejoy.

She's bad news.

Believe you me.

- Well, thanks for the warning,.

- Anyway, I give your icon some.

I'll ask around.

Thanks for phoning, Lovejoy.

- Pleasure, Harry.

(tense music) - Good morning, Dan.

How are yo?

- [Dan] Harry, I'm fine.

- Look, I just wanted to check your feelings about the possibility of an And, for the foundation.

- [Dan] A Rublev?

We'd be very .

- Let me introduce Terry and Johnny Slingsby.

Two better boys for this Russia, you could not have.

Come in, boys, come on.

Come on.

- All right.

- Yeah.

- They look about as Russian as Stevie Wonder.

- I understand your mother was in the circus.

- Yeah.

- That's right.

She used to be the anchorwoman in the Ukrainian human pyramid.

- [Johnny] Yeah, that's why she taught us Russian as soon as we could open our mo.

- [Terry] She reckoned if ever the Red Army come bowling down Commercial Ro, we'd at least be able to understand the geezers when they said, "Hands up".

- Go on, then.

Say something in Russian.

Go on.

(Terry and Johnny speaking Russ) - [Mordechai] Go on then, sing .

(Terry and Johnny singing in Ru) - Stop.

Where the hell did you get this?

It's the ugliest bloody thing I've ever seen in my life.

It's embarrassing, isn't it, Ca?

- It's '50s kitsch, Lovejoy.

It's all the rage.

We got the whole lot from a house clearance.

- Why, oh why do you do this to?

- You wouldn't like to have to eat off the floor again, would you, Lovejoy?

- Would you answer that for me,?

- Where's the list?

- Under the phone.

(phone ringing) - Hello, Lovejoy Associates.

Can I help you?

- [Harry] Lovejoy.

- [Eric] And who's calling?

- [Harry] Harry Catapodis.

- [Eric] Okay, Mr. Catapodis.

Well, if you'll just hold on, I'll go and see if he's in the .

- Harry, good to hear you.

Hold on a second.

Go.

Yeah, where are you calling fro?

- White's Hotel, London, Englan.

I just got in.

Thank you.

I had some urgent business in B.

So, I thought I'd check in with.

- Well, it's very thoughtful of you, Harry.

- [Harry] Any news from the ico?

Did your Ruskis ever show up?

- Well, apparently, the ship ha, but I didn't go through with it, because you didn't call me back.

That kind of thing's out of my .

- Maybe I could meet this frien.

What do you think?

There's no harm in checking it out, if it's still here, is there?

- I suppose not.

I could always.

It's just that Mordechai's got g about paying telephone bills.

I could send him a telegram, th.

- Look, Lovejoy, I only plan to be here for a few days.

Why don't you just get yourselfb and bill it to me, okay?

- He's on the hook.

(tense music) Tanaka, it's Lovejoy.

Catapodis is in town, and he wants to see the Rublev.

We have lift-off.

(jaunty music) (taxi rumbling) - Lovejoy, how nice of you to c. - Harry Catapodis, Mordechai Fr.

- Mordechai.

Please, gentlemen, come in, com.

Make yourself at home.

Come and.

Make yourselves at home.

Can I get you gentlemen anythin?

Gin, whisky?

- Oh no, no, no.

Never touch it.

Thank you.

- [Harry] Good.

Down to busines.

It's good to make your acquaintance, Mordechai.

You bring the papers?

- Oh.

(paper rustles) - What do you think of this?

- Oh, it looks like a Rublev, but I'd want to see it myself f. - Any idea what this thing says?

- Oh, yes.

It's the Rublev icon family tree.

Where it's been, who owned it, which father passed it onto whi.

It goes from 1750 to 1950.

- May I borrow this?

- No, no, no, please.

Keep the- - The Polaroid?

Yes.

- I even signed it for you on t. (Harry laughs) - Okay, how much do you want for this thing?

- Well, only $3 million, cash.

- [Harry] Three million?

You must be crazy.

- Who is this funfeh?

$3 million is pistle.

Don't you know that Andrei Rublev icon is off the scale?

There's not one in the West.

- I know that, Mordechai, but three million?

I ask you.

- I'm wasting my time here.

You said he was a mensch.

I thought he was a major player.

What is he, some sort of Greek y who still thinks in drachma?

- Look, Mordechai, let's get one thing straight: first, I want to see the goods.

I want to translate the papers.

And not until I am 150% satisfied that this thing is got kosher will I even think of the money.

Versteh?

- Well, you think about it, Reb, but don't waste your time scratching your tuchus.

I'm leaving.

If he makes up his mind, call m. (Mordechai speaking Yiddish) (Harry cackling) - Well, what do you make of tha?

- Well.

The whole thing sounds fishy to.

I mean, the Rublev's got to be worth three times that.

- It's obvious that they want hard currency.

I've dealt with the Russians before, don't forget.

They don't give a damn about their heritage.

They'd sell you the Kremlin if you were dumb enough to haul it away.

Okay.

Where do we get this stuff tran?

- Under, "T".

Translators.

Let's have a look.

Who have we ?

Translators.

Here we go.

We've .

We've got Greek, even.

Russian.

There we go.

Popov.

Popov.

- [Popov] This is old Russian, with a bit of Armenian thrown in for good measure, you understand?

- But what does it say?

- It tells that an icon was painted by Rublev Andrei.

It was taken from a, what's thi?

Oh yes, a screen in the cathedral of Vladimir.

A very famous place, Vladimir.

- Very famous, yes.

- [Popov] And has been guarded y of old believers since the 18th.

Everyone, fathers and sons, who have guarded the icon up until the 1950s, have put their names on the lis.

You want me to read them out to?

- No, no, no.

That's okay, Mr. Popov.

Don't bother.

- This script is ancient.

It's hard to read.

This is very important icon, if you ask me.

- [Harry] Does that document look genuine to you?

- Sure.

For a photocopy, it looks very genuine to me.

It's so old I could have written it myself.

- Is that a fact?

- I've got a feeling we should take a look.

- Well, if you want my opinion, I think it's a waste of time.

But take a look, by all means.

- Can you fix it?

- Course I can fix it.

First of all, we have to fix some ground rules.

- And they are?

- 10% of the final selling price if the deal goes through.

- Are you?

- 10%, Harry.

(tense music) (seagulls squawking) (steps clank) - This is Mrs. Lynch.

Captain V. - Hello.

- Hello, Captain.

- I've explained everything to the captain, my dear.

He's going to do everything he can to help you.

I hope it all works out.

- But this is all very kind of .

How can I ever thank you?

- No comment.

(motor starts) - Captain Valentin, I'd like you to meet my associate, Mr. Frobel.

- Hello.

(car rumbling) (Harry whistles) - This is one hell of a way to e to see some icon, Lovejoy.

Where'd you say this place was?

- Southampton.

Frankly, Harry, I wouldn't have bothered.

My attitude is, "What you never have, you never miss."

- There's the difference between you and me, Lovejoy.

I'd never sleep nights if I thot I was close to something, and I didn't know whether it was gold or dog-doo.

- You will soon.

(tense music) - Before we reveal the icon, I just want to say that these two boys here have brought to the West at great personal risk to thems.

If word gets out, the KGB would open a gulag especially for them.

Versteh?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Got that.

Now, where is it?

- What Mordechai say is pravda.

True.

Understand?

- This.

Most beautiful thing you see, h?

(seagulls squawking) (Harry sighs) - My God.

It is incredible, I agree.

(Harry sniffs) What do you think, Lovejoy?

- Oh yes, it is.

Incredible.

But it could have been made in Vladivostok yesterday.

- What kind of hara is that?

If you're not interested, these are good people.

Do not waste their time.

- Who's wasting their time?

(Harry shushes) Just calm down.

Excuse us one m. Lovejoy.

Well, Lovejoy.

What do you thin?

- Looks like a Rublev, smells like a Rublev.

- Hmm.

And then, there's the papers of provenance.

They look genuine enough.

I mean, these guys, they're too dumb to think that .

- Don't be too sure.

It's the first thing I'd do.

- [Harry] Do you think that we e a microscopy test done of the paint before tomorrow?

- [Lovejoy] Sure.

If they'd give us a sample.

(distant ship horn blares) - [Harry] Look, fellows, just tm that we're not buying the washr, we want to have the paint teste.

(men speaking Russian) - Nyet.

- Nyet.

(Terry speaking Russian) - What's he saying?

- They don't want you to touch .

If you do, they'll break your bleeding arm.

- You're talking $3 million one, and he wants to put me into plaster the next?

You're crazy.

I can't do business like this.

You should be locked up, the lo.

What you talking about?

We're talking $3 million.

You come in... You're going to break my arm?

You should grow up, you know th?

You're crazy, the pair of you.

(Terry and Johnny speaking Russ) - Just a moment.

Paint samples.

Hmm?

Flakes from the paint.

(paint flakes sprinkle) So, we have samples, and nothing is broken.

(Johnny speaking Russian) - Okay, you test paint.

Then we leave in 24 hours.

We go to Rotterdam.

- Can't be fairer than that, ca?

Don't pass it up, Reb Catapodis.

You won't get another chance th.

That I know from nothing.

- How come you're not intereste?

- [Mordechai] Me?

Saints, virgins?

Hardly my kind of theology, is it?

- Okay.

For the moment we stop .

We come back later.

Lovejoy.

- Dosvidanya.

- Dosvidanya.

(Watanabe speaking Japanese) - All right, all right.

- All right.

- Come on, come on.

What does i?

- Well, as far as I can tell, there are no substances in the t which would indicate the icon is a contemporary copy.

- What you're saying is the pai, it comes from the 14th century?

- I can't say that.

As yet, no .

What I can say with absolute cey is that the pigments you've given me to test are consistent with that era, which in this case happens to be the 14th century.

- So, it's old?

That's about what we know?

It's old.

- Excuse me.

Lovejoy.

Lovejoy, what is this?

You and that Frobel got some del with the Dutch in Rotterdam?

15% instead of 10?

Come on, out.

- Harry, whatever happens, it's your decision to make.

I just don't want to find myself in the position of having to say, "I told you s" - You won't.

Call Mordechai and ask him if Tom and Jerry will take banker's drafts.

(jaunty music) - Thank you, Tink.

- [Harry] I just want to confirm that the Alexander Kocherga is leaving Southampton today for Rotterdam.

It is?

Thank you very much.

Well, there it is, boys.

That's my apartment you're looking at there.

- Very spacious.

You got the banker's drafts?

I want you to think about this very carefully, Harry.

- I already have.

Let's go.

You two, bring it.

(case clanking) (seagulls squawking) - They're coming.

(dramatic music) (cars rumbling) - Ah, it's good to see you agai.

- Catapodis.

- Privyet.

- Privyet.

- Nice to see you.

- Privyet.

- It's good to see the gang's all here, eh?

- Can I offer anybody a nice cup of Russian tea?

- That's very kind, but I don't.

- Very well.

- I wouldn't mind a cup of tea.

- I wouldn't mind a cup of- - Tea.

Tea.

- I suppose we have to keep the workers happy.

- That's very kind of you.

(Johnny speaking Russian) - Mordechai.

Mordechai, what's he just say?

- He wants to know what you've .

- Boys.

(case thuds) Now, there are two cases like that, full of gold.

Another one up there.

Okay?

And here, I have, these are banker's drafts, from International Bank New Yor?

Banker's drafts.

International .

Satisfied?

- Da.

- Da.

- [Harry] Okay.

May I see the icon?

(Harry sniffs) - What are you doing?

- Last time I handled this, I made a little cross on the back with my thumbnail.

I can't seem to see it.

You know something?

I'm beginni- - Try this.

- Thank you.

- Ah, here it is.

I've got it h. Yes.

You've got the papers?

Thank you.

Second opinion?

- Mhmm.

Looks kosher to me.

(man speaking Russian) What's he saying?

- We leave in 10 minutes.

- In 10 minutes?

Just one moment.

Excuse me.

Lovejoy.

Well, I'm convinced.

Are you still skeptical?

What do you think?

- Like you say, Harry, you've come this far.

You might as well go for the whole 10 yards.

But just one thing, Harry.

Ship leaves in 10 minutes.

Cash is on the table.

One and a half million.

More money than they've ever seen in their lives.

- I offer them a million and a ?

They're crazy, but they're not .

- Well, try it.

What have you g?

- Okay.

I've decided to buy the.

But not for $3 million.

For one and a half.

All the cash and the gold, but not the banker's drafts.

(Mordechai speaking Russian) - Nyet.

- Nyet.

(Johnny speaking Russian) - Deal's off.

- Sugar.

See what happens when I listen to you?

Come back here, boys.

For God's sake, come back.

(Johnny speaking Russian) - What's he say?

- He said you have two minutes.

It's still $3 million.

It's a good deal, Reb Catapodis.

Tell him, Lovejoy.

- What am I supposed to say?

(man speaking Russian) - Two minutes.

(ship horn blares) - Okay.

I agree.

Here.

Here's the banker's drafts.

Her.

(paper rustles) Okay?

- Da.

(Terry speaking Russian) (Harry cackles) - Good.

Okay, fellows, let's get out of.

- Have a nice day, Harry.

(door slams) - Hey, Lovejoy, why don't you call Rotterdam and tell them it's not coming?

- I never had a deal with the Dutch, Harry.

- That's your story and you're sticking to it.

Nice working with you, boys.

Bye, Lovejoy.

- It's nice working with you, H. - [Harry] Bye.

- Bye.

(all cheering) Cass.

- [Tanaka] Hey.

Hey, come up, quickly.

(tense music) (gangplank clatters) (Watanabe speaking Japanese) - [Lovejoy] He's trying to get away with the gold.

Oh, plan B.

(boat motor roaring) - What's going on?

- Plan B.

- Hey.

- What?

No, walking, talking.

(car rumbles) (Harry cackles) (cars rumbling) (car horn beeps) (upbeat music) - [Eric] Lovejoy, he's heading out towards the main Channel.

I've lost him.

Lost him.

We've got to go up higher.

- He's holding the same course.

- [Eric] He's holding the same .

- He's turning towards the big .

- [Eric] He's turning toward the big bridge.

- [Dill] He's headed towards the by the south end of the bridge.

- [Eric] He's going down toward the south end of the bridge.

(tires screech) - He's landed.

He's getting out of the boat.

- [Eric] He's landed.

Don't do anything foolish, Lovejoy.

(water splashing) - [Mordechai] If anyone asks, you thought we were from Greenp.

(boat motor roars) - All right?

- Yeah.

- All right, squire.

- Happy days are here again.

(Lovejoy claps) - [Lovejoy] Mordechai.

- All right, all right.

- Okay.

- You really had us worried there for a minute.

- Fancy a drink?

- Why not?

(jaunty music)