<b>One day the devil came to him</b> <b>for he was a minor demon</b> <b>asked him to torture</b> <b>some humans</b> <b>with his two friends in tow</b> <b>Mittens</b> <b>and El Sapo</b> <b>on nightmare theatre</b> <b>No, no, no,</b> <b>Mittens, listen,</b> <b>I am completely and totally serious.</b> <b>I never thought I'd tell another</b> <b>living soul about this,</b> <b>but you're the only one I trust completely</b> <b>and totally</b> <b>keep what I'm about</b> <b>to tell you to yourself.</b> <b>I want to tell you</b> <b>about one of the greatest human beings</b> <b>who ever sashayed his way up</b> <b>and down the gym room floor.</b> <b>He was a truly goodhearted human being</b> <b>who never did anything bad, not even once.</b> <b>He never ran a red light.</b> <b>He never set a swear word.</b> <b>He never got in the ten items</b> <b>or fewer line with 12 items.</b> <b>He he he just did nothing wrong.</b> <b>He was an honest to goodness</b> <b>saint everyone he met loved him</b> <b>and he loved everyone he met.</b> <b>All except for Snap, of course.</b> <b>But you can't blame him there.</b> <b>And boy, did he have a big, beautiful</b> <b>head of hair as big as his heart.</b> <b>Yeah.

Yeah.

Like an afro, sort of.</b> <b>And he wore the shortest pair of shorts</b> <b>ever made by the hand of man.</b> <b>I'm talking tiny mittens.</b> <b>What?

Well, sure.</b> <b>He was on TV</b> <b>all over TV in microscopic shorts</b> <b>and a sheer tank top and slouch socks.</b> <b>What?</b> <b>No slouch isn't a color.</b> <b>It was a kind of sock.</b> <b>The sock went from the soles of his feet</b> <b>to his armpits.</b> <b>But while his shorts</b> <b>might have been criminally small,</b> <b>like I said, his heart was huge.</b> <b>I'm not ashamed to say</b> <b>Just keep it between us</b> <b>that I love that guy.</b> <b>There, I said it.</b> <b>I love Richard Simmons.</b> <b>I love everything about that</b> <b>man from De la Mele</b> <b>to sweatin to the oldies,</b> <b>to the time he was on General Hospital.</b> <b>Just a great, great man there.</b> <b>I'm glad I told you.</b> <b>But please keep this between us.</b> <b>Oh, wait, wait, wait.

We're on.</b> <b>Listen, later,</b> <b>I'll tell you about the time</b> <b>you put on a bunny suit</b> <b>and hopped around David Letterman's desk.</b> <b>Anyway,</b> <b>hello and welcome to Nightmare Theater.</b> <b>I am your host, the Baron Mondo Van Doren.</b> <b>And here with me, as always,</b> <b>is Mittens, the werewolf.</b> <b>And we were just discussing</b> <b>one of my greatest heroes.</b> <b>As we wait for one of my greatest foes,</b> <b>El Sapo de Tempesto,</b> <b>to show up with tonight's movie.</b> <b>He should be here any moment now</b> <b>with him.

Film.</b> <b>Hey, fellows.</b> <b>So, what do we have for a movie tonight?</b> <b>Oh, we don't have a movie.</b> <b>But I got to tell you, it is not my fault.</b> <b>Oh, of course it's not.</b> <b>No, I'm telling you, it is not my fault.</b> <b>Evil forces are conspiring against me,</b> <b>boss.</b> <b>There is some sort of shadow agency</b> <b>trying to control me</b> <b>and to lead me off the path</b> <b>of righteousness and salvation.</b> <b>Really?

Yes, sir.</b> <b>You see,</b> <b>I got up really early this morning</b> <b>because I had to volunteer</b> <b>down at the homeless shelter.</b> <b>And after that, I wanted to go</b> <b>to the early services at the local church.</b> <b>So after I swept up</b> <b>and mopped at the church, I set my sights</b> <b>on the library.</b> <b>Area, the homeless shelter,</b> <b>the church and the.

Library.</b> <b>Yes, sir.</b> <b>I was headed for the library</b> <b>because I knew I knew they were</b> <b>having a special luncheon learn,</b> <b>and they were having a panel</b> <b>on how to pick the best movie for movie</b> <b>night.</b> <b>And I wanted to make sure I was early,</b> <b>got there early enough, you know, so</b> <b>I could help out</b> <b>and so I could get a good sleep.</b> <b>I don't recall hearing about that panel.</b> <b>Did did did you hear about that panel?</b> <b>Hmm.

Mittens</b> <b>didn't hear about any panel like that.</b> <b>Well, I guess they only</b> <b>invited the pure and devout and chaste</b> <b>young men in their frequent reader club.</b> <b>Oh, you're in that club, huh?</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>To get in the club, you got to read a mess</b> <b>of what they call the books</b> <b>to get into that club.</b> <b>Well, you know,</b> <b>I was on my way to the library.</b> <b>I was walking out, whistling the happy</b> <b>tune, and I saw a guy I knew from prison.</b> <b>I mean, from.</b> <b>That's from that singing choir I singing.</b> <b>And he asked me if I wanted to stop in</b> <b>with him at a tavern he was planning.</b> <b>I didn't want to go in.</b> <b>He was planning on going in</b> <b>and he was going to give the men in there</b> <b>a lecture on the dangers of wine,</b> <b>women, gambling.</b> <b>And he wanted me to help him out.</b> <b>Is that right?

Yeah.</b> <b>And I was a little thirsty</b> <b>from all that work I had done already.</b> <b>So I ordered some ice water</b> <b>and I asked for some</b> <b>just some plain white toast</b> <b>just to settle my stomach</b> <b>with someone in the kitchen.</b> <b>Part of that conspiracy spiked my water</b> <b>with some sort of clear alcohol.</b> <b>Maybe the demon rum.</b> <b>But I think that had a hint.</b> <b>And the next thing I knew,</b> <b>the next thing I knew,</b> <b>I was shirtless</b> <b>and fighting with the busboys.</b> <b>And it was quite a scene.

Boss.</b> <b>How, you know, peppers and spicy</b> <b>chicken wings literally filled the air.</b> <b>Wait, now,</b> <b>did any of those make it into your pocket?</b> <b>No, sir.</b> <b>I didn't have my pants on by then.

Wait.</b> <b>Why were you fighting with the busboys?</b> <b>You'd have to ask them.</b> <b>I was there</b> <b>doing good works for my fellow man,</b> <b>and I was trying to make a positive impact</b> <b>on the community.</b> <b>And after a few glasses</b> <b>of that spiked water,</b> <b>the next thing I know,</b> <b>a busboy punched me right in the face.</b> <b>What about that friend of yours?</b> <b>What for?</b> <b>What for?

Oh, I think he was sent by.</b> <b>He was an imposter.</b> <b>Sent by the people who spiked my water.</b> <b>Why?

Why?

Why?</b> <b>Why would anyone do.

That</b> <b>if people want to see me fail?</b> <b>I guess.</b> <b>It's odd that this wild adventure</b> <b>that you went on happened the same time</b> <b>that three, two, one Contact</b> <b>Electric Company Marathon was on PBS.</b> <b>And it's odd that there are empty</b> <b>rum bottles in the hallway.</b> <b>It almost sounds like you spent the day</b> <b>drinking and watching TV</b> <b>and now you're spending some wild tale.</b> <b>I don't know what you're talking about,</b> <b>Paul.</b> <b>As I said, one of the bigger busboys</b> <b>who's actually more like a bus man,</b> <b>he put me in a headlock</b> <b>and he tossed me into the street</b> <b>and I crashed into a hot dog cart.</b> <b>Did you bring us a hot dog?</b> <b>No, no.</b> <b>I'm trying to prepare</b> <b>more healthful recipes for us.</b> <b>I heard it.</b> <b>Hot dogs were full of nitrates</b> <b>and sodium and asbestos.</b> <b>Besides, you know all.</b> <b>Do you know any idea what could fall into</b> <b>an industrial sausage press?</b> <b>I fell into one one.</b> <b>So no hot dogs?

No, sir.</b> <b>And we don't have anything to show?</b> <b>Well, we do, actually.</b> <b>When I crash into the hot dog wagon in my</b> <b>head, smashed into the bunk compartment,</b> <b>and you would think</b> <b>that those buns would be soft.</b> <b>But I am here to tell you they were not.</b> <b>They were like bricks.</b> <b>All the buns fell.</b> <b>And right there in the bun</b> <b>pile was this film kid.</b> <b>Do you think you could show it?</b> <b>When I run and get a movie.</b> <b>My, my.

That is an intriguing story.</b> <b>Every single word of it is true.

Wait, no.</b> <b>You sure you weren't watching TV all day?</b> <b>I could have sworn</b> <b>I heard the 3 to 1 contact theme song</b> <b>coming out of your room.</b> <b>I find that TV dulls the mind,</b> <b>but also I prefer to read.</b> <b>Do you think you could show this one?</b> <b>I run.

Find us</b> <b>a.

Movie.

I guess I'm going to have to.</b> <b>We all know that none of that stuff</b> <b>happened, folks.</b> <b>He just made it up.</b> <b>He was goofing off, watching TV all day.</b> <b>I bet this can</b> <b>is just some childhood movie of his.</b> <b>And maybe he's at the Grand Canyon</b> <b>or Knott's Berry Farm or.</b> <b>I don't know.

Who am I kidding?</b> <b>We all know what this is.</b> <b>You all know for folks,</b> <b>let's not prolong the inevitable mittens.</b> <b>We got to cue this.</b> <b>I'm really sorry, folks.</b> <b>I'm wearing it</b> <b>back.</b> <b>That's their finish.</b> <b>Can you dive just in time?</b> <b>Your dad isn't hurt.</b> <b>Are you all right, Dad?</b> <b>I must go back and complete my master's</b> <b>work.</b> <b>But, Professor Norton, you don't realize</b> <b>that anger can has transformed your mind.</b> <b>Come with us.</b> <b>We'll take you to our friends</b> <b>in the sacred city.</b> <b>I must go back to the tower.

Come on.</b> <b>Professor</b> <b>Norton is on his way to the secretary.</b> <b>He must be brought to me at once.</b> <b>The kind of dog</b> <b>prepare the war.</b> <b>Chariots move out with the cavalry, stop</b> <b>the juggernaut advanced with cold feet,</b> <b>equipment prepared by.</b> <b>Don't you realize, Professor</b> <b>Norton,</b> <b>that Unger Come wants you to help him</b> <b>take his tower to the upper world</b> <b>and destroy civilization?</b> <b>All right.</b> <b>I don't understand.</b> <b>All I know is I must return to my master.</b> <b>God, you've got to listen to Crash.</b> <b>He's our friend.</b> <b>Who are you?</b> <b>Who are all these other people?</b> <b>The spell cast by Unger Times Transforming</b> <b>Machine will not last forever.</b> <b>With proper care and attention,</b> <b>your father will regain his normal mind.</b> <b>But Your Holiness, you're not my child.</b> <b>You are safe within the walls of Atlantis.</b> <b>The port</b> <b>hands and armies.</b> <b>Advancing on the city,</b> <b>getting the commander</b> <b>under control.</b> <b>Army is about to lay siege to the city.</b> <b>My son.</b> <b>On your shoulders lies</b> <b>the safety of Atlantis</b> <b>and the juggernaut Greater good.</b> <b>Let's back for nightfall.</b> <b>I tell you, that battle</b> <b>and the flamethrower</b> <b>are holding us.</b> <b>The gates of hell</b> <b>reached by the juggernaut</b> <b>and take me to my master hunger.</b> <b>Come,</b> <b>It's not near</b> <b>bringing to the tower</b> <b>how we can destroy that city.</b> <b>Repair the great project are</b> <b>bombing the temple.</b> <b>I must get Diane</b> <b>and the others out of there.</b> <b>Leadership.</b> <b>All right.</b> <b>Oh.

Huh?</b> <b>That's the end of that.

The buildings</b> <b>fell on them.</b> <b>They are gone.</b> <b>Goose or gone Geese or whatever.</b> <b>Maybe tonight is going to be a good one</b> <b>after all, folks, that was yet</b> <b>another chapter in the Undersea Kingdom.</b> <b>It's odd that Sapo always seems</b> <b>to find these things in the right order,</b> <b>although what does it really matter?</b> <b>You could show these things</b> <b>in any order in the story.</b> <b>It would be the same.</b> <b>At the end of every episode, our hopes</b> <b>get raised and our dreams get crushed.</b> <b>In the next episode.</b> <b>Speaking of crushed dreams,</b> <b>Sapo ought to be back</b> <b>any second now with tonight's movie.</b> <b>And I just.</b> <b>Hey, you guys.</b> <b>I think I found a good movie, Boss.</b> <b>This boss,</b> <b>this movie is going to light up the dark</b> <b>a night</b> <b>like the brightest day in a whole new way.</b> <b>Oh, really?

Yeah.</b> <b>Take a look at what I found.</b> <b>Sapo</b> <b>Put that can down on the table</b> <b>and back away.</b> <b>Slowly, Very slowly.</b> <b>Sapo, you hear me?</b> <b>Those tongs you always keep handy.</b> <b>I'm going to be very careful about this.</b> <b>All right.</b> <b>If I were you, I would toss these tongs</b> <b>into the incinerator.</b> <b>They have been befouled by this movie.</b> <b>We might need to sterilize this table too,</b> <b>since they can touch it.</b> <b>I touch that.

Can I touch that?

Can</b> <b>Should I go wash my hands?</b> <b>You've gone 68 years without washing them,</b> <b>so why start now?</b> <b>You're right, I guess.</b> <b>Did you even look at this?

Can.</b> <b>It's just got a bunch of letters</b> <b>and numbers on it.</b> <b>And speaking of numbers and letters,</b> <b>before I forget, kids, tonight's</b> <b>show is brought to you by the letter.</b> <b>Seven.</b> <b>Seven is not a letter and.

By the number.</b> <b>WW is not a number through a.</b> <b>Generous grant from the good people</b> <b>at suppose television workshop.</b> <b>You know that's not a real place</b> <b>supper It's clear you spent the whole day</b> <b>watching the electric company</b> <b>in 3 to 1 contact on PBS.</b> <b>Watching PBS is a good thing.</b> <b>A very good thing.</b> <b>But you could have spent some more time</b> <b>finding us a better movie.</b> <b>Do you even know what movie this is?

Yeah.</b> <b>It's something about a salesman</b> <b>or a businessman</b> <b>who goes out and finds love and happiness</b> <b>on the international bingo.</b> <b>What?

No,</b> <b>It's the disappearance of Flight four.</b> <b>One, two.</b> <b>Now, a lot of people</b> <b>call it the disappearance of Flight 412,</b> <b>but that's wrong.</b> <b>This whole movie is wrong.

It's bad.</b> <b>It's really, really bad.

No.

Who is in it?</b> <b>Tell me about the cash.</b> <b>Maybe there's something good there.</b> <b>Well, it.

Stars veteran actor Glenn Ford.</b> <b>He's actually a pretty good actor.</b> <b>He was in great films like The Teahouse</b> <b>of the August Moon and Blackboard Jungle,</b> <b>which was nominated for several Oscars</b> <b>in 1955.</b> <b>He was amazing in the film noir</b> <b>classic Gilda, which came out in 1946.</b> <b>Gilda was the movie</b> <b>the prisoners were watching</b> <b>and The Shawshank Redemption Ford was.</b> <b>He also played Paul</b> <b>Kent in the 1978 version of Superman.</b> <b>He's played some great roles.</b> <b>He really had in this film.</b> <b>He plays Colonel Pete Moore.

Wow.</b> <b>With all those great roles under his belt.</b> <b>He must be amazing in this movie.</b> <b>He's not folks, I'm telling you right now,</b> <b>this is not a good movie.</b> <b>It just.

Isn't.</b> <b>But there must be something good</b> <b>in this movie.</b> <b>There is not a single good thing</b> <b>in this movie.</b> <b>Not one.

Oh, come on.</b> <b>Come on, come on.</b> <b>Know, every time you ask me that,</b> <b>I ultimately find something,</b> <b>some small sliver of goodness</b> <b>in an otherwise horrible movie.</b> <b>But not this time.</b> <b>This is the one.</b> <b>The one with nothing good.</b> <b>There has to be something good.</b> <b>There's just got to be.</b> <b>No, there's nothing.</b> <b>Well, I. Ha ha ha.

Ha.</b> <b>I guess there is Morton's.</b> <b>Stephen's Woo hoo!</b> <b>My main man, Morton Stevens.</b> <b>Yeah, baby.</b> <b>He is amazing.</b> <b>You don't know who that is, do you?</b> <b>I do not.</b> <b>Is he in the movie?</b> <b>Is he the pilot or something?</b> <b>Did he build the sets to drive</b> <b>the actors around the town or something?</b> <b>No, he's not in the movie.</b> <b>He wrote some of the music for this movie.</b> <b>And that's good.</b> <b>This movie has some good music, I take it?</b> <b>No, but Martin Stevens also wrote the</b> <b>theme song to Hawaii Five-O.</b> <b>The Ventures did the best cover</b> <b>version of it, but he wrote it.</b> <b>It truly is a great piece of music.</b> <b>I remember that show comes up.</b> <b>Oh, that's not what Jack Lord said.</b> <b>Folks, this is really not a good movie.</b> <b>If you have anything else to do,</b> <b>now would be a good time to do it.</b> <b>But if you insist on watching this movie,</b> <b>don't say I didn't warn you.</b> <b>It features some of the silliest</b> <b>overacting you've ever seen.</b> <b>Keep an eye out for the guy</b> <b>with the baloney sandwich obsession.</b> <b>It's weird.</b> <b>You might as well get started</b> <b>because the sooner we start,</b> <b>the sooner we'll be done.</b> <b>So sit back, relax,</b> <b>and be prepared to defend yourself</b> <b>against the disappearance of Flight four</b> <b>one, two or 412 here on Nightmare Theater</b> <b>one.

This</b> <b>is a UFO and unidentified flying object.</b> <b>It was photographed at Santa Catalina</b> <b>Island</b> <b>in April of 1966.</b> <b>Look at it again closely.</b> <b>Hundreds, even thousands of witnesses have</b> <b>seen similar things appear in the sky.</b> <b>Persons living miles from others</b> <b>have testified independently</b> <b>that UFOs have appeared</b> <b>in a specific place at a specific time.</b> <b>I looked up in the sky, an object</b> <b>standing real still,</b> <b>and it was going to the airplane</b> <b>or a helicopter.</b> <b>It was a large, opaque light.</b> <b>It had a dull glow to it.</b> <b>It was larger than a car flying at three</b> <b>top level from so high here</b> <b>the official position is firm.</b> <b>The evidence is erroneous, illusory.</b> <b>But if in 1000 reported sightings,</b> <b>1/10 of 1% could be fact,</b> <b>then that is one real existing UFO.</b> <b>Morning, Colonel.</b> <b>Morning.</b> <b>Major Dunning said</b> <b>it measured the flight line with 412 from</b> <b>early morning a summer day</b> <b>before it was over.</b> <b>Colonel Deep Moore and five men of the 458</b> <b>radar</b> <b>test unit knew they would never forget it.</b> <b>It all began with a basically routine</b> <b>but crucial mission</b> <b>involving the alignment of sophisticated</b> <b>airborne radar systems</b> <b>essential</b> <b>to the ultimate defense of the nation.</b> <b>The equipment had a recent history</b> <b>of unreliability.</b> <b>This reflected on Pete Moore</b> <b>and on his men.</b> <b>He was concerned Radar can't do that.</b> <b>Okay,</b> <b>Colonel,</b> <b>you'll hook up with flank officer</b> <b>Marine Air at 1200.</b> <b>Then once they got you,</b> <b>you'll be designated shadow on Delta one.</b> <b>Are there any questions</b> <b>regarding anything that you'd like to add?</b> <b>Colonel?</b> <b>I know I'll be in touch with Colonel</b> <b>Barnes upon completion.</b> <b>I'll see you back here</b> <b>at 1400 for debriefing.</b> <b>1400 there goes watch, guys.</b> <b>Aren't there clear to file, clear</b> <b>to black officer.</b> <b>Maintain flight level three once</b> <b>0097 departure</b> <b>frequency will be 1 to 4.60313.</b> <b>40 parts</b> <b>Explorer one to.</b> <b>Climb gracefully to an altitude</b> <b>and the beginning of the exercise,</b> <b>Pete Moore arrived at the 458</b> <b>headquarters.</b> <b>His office</b> <b>warning Colonel, that was waiting again,</b> <b>they're really starting</b> <b>to press on a roster update.</b> <b>Oh, they'll have to wait.</b> <b>Well, get me Colonel Barnes at Lago Vista</b> <b>Marina when you.</b> <b>Colonel Barnes.</b> <b>Hey, Freeman.</b> <b>How's it going?</b> <b>Well, fine.

We're right on schedule.</b> <b>What have we got to play?

A little golf?</b> <b>No, I get done a lot these days.</b> <b>Uh, hey,</b> <b>don't let your guys slip up this time.</b> <b>You hear, or you sound a little concerned.</b> <b>Well, General Enright is on my tail</b> <b>this time.</b> <b>We won't let you down, Pete.

Okay, thanks.</b> <b>Oh, I leave word where you can reach me.</b> <b>Uh, keep me</b> <b>posted, though, with you.

Right.</b> <b>What do you say?</b> <b>This is part one two of our.</b> <b>If I were climbing out.</b> <b>Roger.

One to</b> <b>your clearance to climb and maintain</b> <b>flying level 370.</b> <b>Lack of is to control.</b> <b>This is Air Force 412.</b> <b>Commencing operation Shadow Delta one.</b> <b>Yeah,</b> <b>we are maintaining flight level 3701.</b> <b>Shadow Delta one.</b> <b>This is Blanco Best, a marine.</b> <b>Radar Control.</b> <b>We're gonna be passing</b> <b>through our board markers based on Flight</b> <b>four one to easily assumed</b> <b>this new designation shadowed Delta one.</b> <b>As the routine exercise began</b> <b>shadowed, Delta one became something else.</b> <b>The hundred.</b> <b>What's that?</b> <b>Hey, Smitty,</b> <b>check on these</b> <b>shadow on Delta one.</b> <b>Standby.</b> <b>Now.

Delta want.</b> <b>All right, all units,</b> <b>activate.</b> <b>All right, All units on overhead.</b> <b>Staff.

Ferguson, Progressive, you guys.</b> <b>Yeah, we got it.

Yeah, I got, like.</b> <b>I'm supposed to be a ground</b> <b>response to what's going on.</b> <b>Shadow on Delta one.</b> <b>Check your upper left quadrant.</b> <b>Right copy.</b> <b>I'm gonna have a look.</b> <b>This is part of his Tomb Raider.</b> <b>All aircraft in this vicinity.</b> <b>Squad transponders repeat on your coast.</b> <b>Roger.</b> <b>Copy.</b> <b>I got it.</b> <b>This is Shadow Delta one.</b> <b>We see three blips at 11:00.</b> <b>Shadow Delta one,</b> <b>we copy Unit two confirming</b> <b>to the experience.</b> <b>Man at Blanco Vector Marine Radar.</b> <b>The blips were real.</b> <b>Therefore, what they represented was real.</b> <b>Lieutenant, take a look.</b> <b>We just checked the North</b> <b>American Air Defense Command.</b> <b>There's no plan on that.</b> <b>It's not supposed to be</b> <b>any planes of that sector at all.</b> <b>Any malfunctions?

No.</b> <b>Hey, what are those things?</b> <b>I'll tell you one thing, guys.</b> <b>They are they are pasting the</b> <b>channel Delta one.</b> <b>Oh, about as close as you can</b> <b>within your operational altitude.</b> <b>We're going to scramble for a</b> <b>like project.</b> <b>We're going up off autopilot.</b> <b>Attention already.</b> <b>Squadron pilots, man airplanes.</b> <b>Scramble, red scramble room on a drill</b> <b>I paint.</b> <b>This is not a drill.</b> <b>The men of local Vista.</b> <b>Were trained and ready.</b> <b>It was their fastest scramble on record.</b> <b>Shadow.</b> <b>Don't you want your flaps?</b> <b>11:00 are unidentified.</b> <b>Unidentified Or it is not part of them</b> <b>and they are not responding to voice</b> <b>communication.</b> <b>All right.</b> <b>We're leveling</b> <b>the press.</b> <b>You give me an idea where these guys are.</b> <b>I can see things.</b> <b>I see things now at 41,000</b> <b>targets.</b> <b>It's 75 that way up there where.</b> <b>I know that.</b> <b>We're planning out 20,000.</b> <b>Roger Tango one.

Tango two is confirming</b> <b>activating onboard weapon.</b> <b>I would say,</b> <b>uh, speed 500 down to 42,000.</b> <b>Holding</b> <b>Tango one.</b> <b>Tango two,</b> <b>we're handing you over to radar control.</b> <b>Roger.</b> <b>Starting a tack approach.

Now,</b> <b>it can be very.</b> <b>Wow.

Look at them, Hall.</b> <b>No one turning now.</b> <b>Roger Tango on.</b> <b>I'm on your time.</b> <b>Tango one at Tango two, approaching 40.</b> <b>Hey, where'd they go</b> <b>wrong?</b> <b>Uniforms are gone.</b> <b>Nothing.</b> <b>Tango one, this is Franco.</b> <b>Must come in.

Please.</b> <b>I'm trying to tell you what those jets,</b> <b>as ever, get through the cloud.</b> <b>They're gone.</b> <b>What is regret?</b> <b>That they never came through the clouds.</b> <b>Tango.</b> <b>Tango.

To come in.

Please come in.

Please.</b> <b>Tango one.

Tango, don't.

Do you copy?</b> <b>You copy.</b> <b>Hey, my God.

Tango one cannot comment.</b> <b>Please come in.

Please do your copy.</b> <b>Do your copy</b> <b>At Blanco 50 What?</b> <b>It started as simple</b> <b>routine had become the unbelievable.</b> <b>The men were stunned, shaken.</b> <b>Higher Command was notified.</b> <b>1005010 21.</b> <b>41,500</b> <b>oh 44</b> <b>Failing to</b> <b>ensure that the building</b> <b>looks.</b> <b>Like a this is coming on</b> <b>shuttle Delta one</b> <b>you hold at 43,000 feet and await</b> <b>further orders.</b> <b>Thank officers.</b> <b>Chateau Delta one.</b> <b>We have lost contact with your jets.</b> <b>We see no shoot and no debris.</b> <b>You're swinging back to search over</b> <b>as a negative</b> <b>shout down to one question to scrub out.</b> <b>Deviated from your pattern.</b> <b>Our people are on the way.</b> <b>Oh, honey, I've got to go.</b> <b>Do you feel like barbecuing tonight?</b> <b>Oh, sure.</b> <b>Why not just come out for a change first,</b> <b>then I've got to get</b> <b>some tomatoes and onions and mushrooms.</b> <b>Shrimp?

Excuse me?</b> <b>I mean, the balloons just gone up,</b> <b>but our communications people</b> <b>just monitor the damages.

Crosstalk.</b> <b>You ever heard quote this?</b> <b>A shattered delta one?</b> <b>We have lost contact with your jets.</b> <b>We see no shoots and no debris</b> <b>swinging back to search, unquote.</b> <b>No.

What was the reply?</b> <b>Completely unintelligible.</b> <b>Nobody could dig it out.</b> <b>I have to leave.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>I'll call you later.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>His feet were left.</b> <b>The comfortable surroundings of the base</b> <b>cafeteria, Chateau Delta one</b> <b>was about to chart a course</b> <b>for a strange and unknown destination.</b> <b>Air Force four.

One, two.</b> <b>And this is not communications.</b> <b>You were being handed off</b> <b>to take control or control.</b> <b>This is a security transfer.</b> <b>Air Force One zero.</b> <b>This is their control.</b> <b>Their not acknowledged</b> <b>radio communication.</b> <b>From this point on, gone.</b> <b>The cause of 074 maintain present</b> <b>flight level</b> <b>nine airspeed for 30 minutes.</b> <b>Set 074074 set.</b> <b>All right.</b> <b>See if you can reach in.

Right now.</b> <b>We're in trouble again.</b> <b>I I'll read you 112 Oh, Mike, listen.</b> <b>Get a hold of Freeland by Uncle Victor.</b> <b>Have them call me.</b> <b>What do I do about this</b> <b>transmission to the General?</b> <b>Hello and welcome back.</b> <b>Say, do you like stock footage</b> <b>of military aircraft in operations?</b> <b>If so, then, boy,</b> <b>this is the movie for you.</b> <b>What the heck is going on in this movie,</b> <b>boss?</b> <b>You were standing here just like I was.</b> <b>You saw what Mittens and I saw.</b> <b>Yeah, but I was distracted</b> <b>by that blond pilot's beautiful mustache.</b> <b>Well, that man is David Soul,</b> <b>and I can understand that.</b> <b>Here's what happened.</b> <b>A plane was flying around some weird blip</b> <b>showed up on radar, and then.</b> <b>And then UFOs and jets were scrambled</b> <b>to check things out.</b> <b>Stock footage was uncreated and deployed.</b> <b>A narrator</b> <b>breathlessly described the scene.</b> <b>Suddenly, the UFOs</b> <b>and the jets sent to find them vanished.</b> <b>That guy with the mustache you like</b> <b>volunteered to go look for the Jets.</b> <b>But he was muzzled by the brass.</b> <b>So did the UFOs.

Get those Marines.</b> <b>Marines?</b> <b>You'll have to wait and see.</b> <b>I wonder how often military planes in UFOs</b> <b>mix it up out there.</b> <b>Oh, there have been tons and tons of</b> <b>supposed UFO encounters with airplanes.</b> <b>Let me ask you this.</b> <b>What happened on June 24th, 1947?</b> <b>Well, that's easy.</b> <b>Mick Fleetwood was born on</b> <b>June 24th, 1947.</b> <b>Nice to know,</b> <b>but not what I'm talking about.</b> <b>Let me see.</b> <b>1947, June or June 21st,</b> <b>I was at the Butte, Montana, Day</b> <b>Moonshine day tasting event.</b> <b>That's where I was on the 22nd.</b> <b>I was at the Whiskey Festival</b> <b>in Saint Louis, June 23rd.</b> <b>I made my way to the Peoria</b> <b>Beer Gardens Free Beer Day.</b> <b>I don't know what happened on June</b> <b>24th of that year or the 25th of the 26th.</b> <b>It's pretty crazy, too.</b> <b>Gee, I wonder why you had such a long</b> <b>blackout.</b> <b>Maybe an alien grabbed me.</b> <b>Maybe you were on a three day drunk.</b> <b>SAPO June 24th, 1947 was the day</b> <b>the term flying saucer</b> <b>entered our collective vocabulary.</b> <b>Well, how did that happen?</b> <b>Did somebody throw a plate</b> <b>at the president or something?</b> <b>No.

On that date, a guy named Kenneth</b> <b>Arnold was</b> <b>flying is playing around,</b> <b>and he saw something weird.</b> <b>Like a strange cloud or something.</b> <b>You know, one time I saw a cloud</b> <b>that looked just like mittens.</b> <b>Wow.

I kind of wish I had seen that cloud.</b> <b>At any rate, Kenneth</b> <b>Arnold was flying around his plane</b> <b>trying to find a lost Marine Corps</b> <b>plane that had crashed.</b> <b>See, the military had lost a plane</b> <b>and they asked for help in finding it.</b> <b>A $5,000 reward was offered.</b> <b>Is that money still out there</b> <b>waiting to be collected?</b> <b>If so, I have a great idea.</b> <b>I have an I have an idea.</b> <b>Listen, can you just shut up</b> <b>and let me finish, All right?</b> <b>Arnold was looking for the missing plane</b> <b>when all of a sudden he saw nine</b> <b>flashes of light.</b> <b>The flashes were the sunlight</b> <b>bouncing off of mysterious flying objects.</b> <b>He watched the objects travel between</b> <b>two mountain peaks he knew, and he was</b> <b>therefore able to estimate their speed</b> <b>at over 1600 miles per hour fast.</b> <b>No aircraft at that time could fly</b> <b>even close to that speed.</b> <b>He described the objects as moving like</b> <b>a saucer if you skip it across the water.</b> <b>And that's</b> <b>how the term flying saucer was born.</b> <b>That is amazing.</b> <b>It happens all the time.</b> <b>Other than Kenneth Arnold,</b> <b>I guess the most well-known story</b> <b>is that of Flight 19 out of Florida.</b> <b>In 1945, five military planes disappeared</b> <b>without a trace</b> <b>while on a routine training mission.</b> <b>And according to some sources, at least</b> <b>one of the pilots was heard to scream.</b> <b>They look like they're from outer space</b> <b>before all contact with</b> <b>the planes was lost.</b> <b>No debris was ever found.</b> <b>They simply vanished</b> <b>and were never seen again.</b> <b>I didn't take them.</b> <b>I didn't steal them.</b> <b>Well, no, no.</b> <b>One has up to now suggested that you did.</b> <b>The Atlantic Ocean is huge, about twice</b> <b>the size of your head, at least</b> <b>finding five planes in the area that big</b> <b>and that deep would be almost impossible.</b> <b>But what about the.</b> <b>They look like</b> <b>they are from outer space stuff.</b> <b>Keep in mind,</b> <b>not all sources agree on that.</b> <b>Some think the pilots became disorient</b> <b>and simply flew away from the coast</b> <b>until they ran out of gas</b> <b>and crashed into the ocean.</b> <b>Some believe it was aliens.</b> <b>Yeah,</b> <b>some people believe everything is aliens.</b> <b>Some people believe this is a good movie.</b> <b>People believe weird things.

You may ask.</b> <b>So do any of those stories happen</b> <b>in other countries</b> <b>or do UFO is only think in the devil.</b> <b>The good people in the United States.</b> <b>They happen all over the world.</b> <b>There was the case of Fred Valentin</b> <b>in 1978.</b> <b>In Australia,</b> <b>he was a private pilot flying solo.</b> <b>Now, this one is interesting</b> <b>because there's a transcript</b> <b>of the conversation</b> <b>between him and the control tower.</b> <b>In it, you can hear him describing</b> <b>some weird objects hovering above him.</b> <b>His last words to the control tower were</b> <b>that strange aircraft is hovering on</b> <b>top of me again, it's hovering.</b> <b>It's not an aircraft.</b> <b>And then there was the sound</b> <b>of scraping metal and then silence.</b> <b>Cold, eerie silence.</b> <b>No trace of the plane was ever found.</b> <b>Aliens, boss.

Aliens.

That's one theory.</b> <b>Some people say he was a smuggler</b> <b>who faked his own death.</b> <b>No, no, I know all those guys.

He's</b> <b>not a smuggler.</b> <b>He's not one of us.

Mm hmm.</b> <b>Some say he got disoriented</b> <b>and started flying upside down and mistook</b> <b>the ocean for a UFO.</b> <b>Point is,</b> <b>there's always at least another theory.</b> <b>Sometimes several.</b> <b>Some say Valentin was looking at Venus</b> <b>and got confused.</b> <b>Lots of theories.</b> <b>But it was aliens, wasn't it?</b> <b>But I don't know the aliens</b> <b>don't coordinate their comings and goings</b> <b>with me.</b> <b>If aliens do exist and they frequently</b> <b>fiddle in the affairs of man,</b> <b>please beam me</b> <b>up or lower down</b> <b>one of those space ladders or whatever,</b> <b>I'll go willingly</b> <b>right here and right now.</b> <b>No takers.</b> <b>Not a single alien society wants me.</b> <b>Oh, well, folks, while I'm waiting for</b> <b>and praying to the aliens,</b> <b>let's get back to the disappearance</b> <b>of Flight 412 here</b> <b>on Nightmare Theater</b> <b>in Reno.</b> <b>Already</b> <b>before 12</b> <b>has been diverted to Hallowell Air Force</b> <b>Base.</b> <b>Wyoming</b> <b>is right below escape from North End</b> <b>in the new prison</b> <b>operations.</b> <b>Pete?</b> <b>I couldn't get anywhere near it.

Right.</b> <b>You know, for something that was so hot,</b> <b>we sure seem to be getting</b> <b>shoved on the back burner.</b> <b>And what about Barnes sends cockeyed</b> <b>a bunker buster to can't get through.</b> <b>Then we'd better get you to North.</b> <b>Here we go.</b> <b>For one, do this.</b> <b>A bigger control.</b> <b>Drop down to 110 and pass along seven.</b> <b>Frank at 35 miles from touchdown.</b> <b>So preservation for how to defeat.

150.</b> <b>As a matter of procedure.</b> <b>Whitney Radar tracked shadow Delta one</b> <b>until it disappeared.</b> <b>One day</b> <b>20 miles from touchdown.</b> <b>Yes, I put it on speaker.</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>Do you have a plot of an Air Force</b> <b>for 12 out of Whitney being diverted</b> <b>from Blanco Vista to Holly?</b> <b>Well, yes, we know, Colonel to a 1430.</b> <b>No.

Who authorized that diversion?</b> <b>Well, that's all I can give you, Colonel.</b> <b>I suggest you contact black officer.</b> <b>Well, I'll do that.</b> <b>Look, we picked up part of a transmission.</b> <b>Something about 412 losing contact</b> <b>with the Marine jets.</b> <b>Have you got anything on that?</b> <b>No, sir.</b> <b>Again, you'd better contact Blanco</b> <b>first to</b> <b>very well.</b> <b>Look, if you get anything on that plane,</b> <b>you holler for me</b> <b>before you hide for anyone else.

You here?</b> <b>Yes, sir.</b> <b>Oh, in the contact Caldwell have Bishop</b> <b>comedy as soon as you get down.</b> <b>Okay.

Where do I find you?

In my office.</b> <b>I got to get all the bones</b> <b>for one, two.</b> <b>This is bigger Control,</b> <b>you two miles from Touchdown!</b> <b>Hey, Roy,</b> <b>I don't show anything on my charts at all.</b> <b>Just, uh, one gunnery range,</b> <b>about a hundred miles east of here.</b> <b>Well, there's something down there.</b> <b>Oh, I want to make your approach record</b> <b>on zero five.</b> <b>Repeat 105.</b> <b>You be on your final touchdown on 1.10.</b> <b>I want to make a right hand</b> <b>turn at the end of the runway.</b> <b>I need a hangar area, a football stop.</b> <b>All action.</b> <b>The plane that's supposed to fly</b> <b>in circles.</b> <b>Find out what this is all about.</b> <b>My name's Trotman.</b> <b>Will you come with me?</b> <b>Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.</b> <b>For these guys.

Holloway, My aircraft.</b> <b>I want to know who's doing that.

I am.</b> <b>That's.

I do</b> <b>a special intelligence detachment.</b> <b>Detached from what?</b> <b>Work for the same people you do.</b> <b>Just the different division.</b> <b>Let's get the truck.</b> <b>Bishop and his men</b> <b>did not question their surroundings,</b> <b>nor the orders, given that</b> <b>they had been trained to obey training,</b> <b>they would find it difficult</b> <b>to contradict.</b> <b>Hello and welcome back.</b> <b>Apparently Mustache Jones</b> <b>and the rest of the crew</b> <b>have been carted off</b> <b>by some government agents.</b> <b>That's the best time</b> <b>to make your run for it, boss,</b> <b>before they get a good head count.</b> <b>This follows</b> <b>the pattern of a lot of UFO sightings,</b> <b>official government</b> <b>denial, a cover up at all cost.</b> <b>A ridiculous story in the paper</b> <b>a few weeks later.</b> <b>Eventually people forget and move on.</b> <b>But speaking of forgetting,</b> <b>I just realized something.</b> <b>You didn't tell me</b> <b>who directed this movie?</b> <b>You didn't</b> <b>tell me anything about the cast?</b> <b>That's correct.</b> <b>I did.

Oh, come on.

Come on.</b> <b>Tell me who directed this?</b> <b>A guy named Judd.</b> <b>Good.

Yeah.

Judd.</b> <b>Judd Taylor.</b> <b>He directed an incredible number of TV</b> <b>shows.</b> <b>Probably about a million of them.</b> <b>But also did a few movies.</b> <b>He did movies like Double</b> <b>Take in 1985, City in Fear in 1980.</b> <b>And I swear I'm not making this up.</b> <b>Christmas Miracle and Caulfield,</b> <b>USA in 1977.</b> <b>I can't say as I have seen</b> <b>a single one of their movies.</b> <b>Yeah, well, despite that seemingly shoddy</b> <b>resume, he was president of the Directors</b> <b>Guild of America from 1981 to 83.</b> <b>He also acted in a pretty good movie</b> <b>called The Great Escape.</b> <b>I pulled off some great escapes myself.</b> <b>Indeed, So far as actors</b> <b>go, you've got Glenn Ford as the colonel.</b> <b>David Saul plays the guy with a mustache.</b> <b>He was also in Starsky and Hutch.</b> <b>And before you ask, he was Hutch.</b> <b>And no,</b> <b>he cannot introduce you to hug you.

Bear.</b> <b>Rounding out the cast</b> <b>are the usual denizens of the seventies</b> <b>deep Ken Kercheval,</b> <b>Edward Winter and Guy Stockwell.</b> <b>Just to name Guy Stockwell.

Guy Stockwell.</b> <b>Before you ask.

Yes.</b> <b>He is the brother of Dean Stockwell</b> <b>from Quantum Leap.</b> <b>That was a show.</b> <b>Quantum Leap, Ziggy and Dean Stockwell.</b> <b>Man, man, I wish I had a Ziggy.</b> <b>Ziggy to show me</b> <b>how to get out of watching this movie.</b> <b>So what do you think you're doing?</b> <b>Oh, I was just thinking about all them</b> <b>UFO stories.</b> <b>From what you told me,</b> <b>it goes something like this.</b> <b>The plane is flying, right?</b> <b>And the pilot says, Hey, airport,</b> <b>get something behind you.</b> <b>Help me.

Help me.

One day I'll come</b> <b>give you the hell up out of here.</b> <b>An airport guy says airport controlled</b> <b>the pilot is Venus.</b> <b>And then the guy says, No, it ain't Venus.</b> <b>Some of you have all come help</b> <b>me.

I play in, come help me.</b> <b>And they say, Control the pilot.</b> <b>Could you be flying upside down?</b> <b>And I said, No, I'm flying upside down.</b> <b>Control the pilot.

Good at the thought.</b> <b>Guess ball lightning.</b> <b>I don't know what to tell George.</b> <b>A UFO control.</b> <b>The pilot could it be a reflection off</b> <b>a window in Kansas City?</b> <b>Linsley Or maybe a firework</b> <b>or something?

No, it ain't.</b> <b>And then they never hear from the plane</b> <b>again.</b> <b>Well, to be fair,</b> <b>that's about how it goes.</b> <b>They never believe the pilots</b> <b>and there's always doubt.</b> <b>Wait, where did you get that UFO thing?</b> <b>It looks just like our smoke detector.</b> <b>Well, it is.</b> <b>I thought it kind of looked</b> <b>like one of them flying saucer things.</b> <b>Oh, what are we.

Going to do</b> <b>if this place burst into flames?</b> <b>Oh, don't.

Worry, Menzel.

Smell the smoke</b> <b>and he'll let us know.</b> <b>I'll stay up all night</b> <b>and I'll be on fire.</b> <b>Watch and I'll put in a no fires pass.</b> <b>You will get by.</b> <b>My goodness.</b> <b>That doesn't even look like a UFO.</b> <b>And by the way, that plane you have there,</b> <b>that's a civilian aircraft.</b> <b>That's not a military plane.</b> <b>What's the difference?</b> <b>Well, some planes are military.</b> <b>Some are civilian.</b> <b>Military planes conduct</b> <b>military operations or civilian planes</b> <b>transporting normal people</b> <b>to and fro all over the world.</b> <b>Civilian planes are often much</b> <b>more comfortable than military planes.</b> <b>Well, I wouldn't really know.</b> <b>I've never really ridden</b> <b>on the inside of a plane.</b> <b>Civilian planes travel.</b> <b>Wait a minute.

There's an idea.

Airline?</b> <b>Oh, no, no, no, no.</b> <b>I don't like where this is going, folks.</b> <b>Let's get back to the movie starring</b> <b>the guy who played Hutch</b> <b>and Dean Stockwell's brother.</b> <b>The disappearance of Flight</b> <b>four one, two or four, 12 or whatever</b> <b>it's called here on Nightmare Theater.</b> <b>What?</b> <b>It's all about drama.</b> <b>That's what we.

Intend to fight up.</b> <b>Riggs In here.

Ferguson Bishop In that</b> <b>Colonel Fine.</b> <b>Hey, Freeman.</b> <b>Yeah?</b> <b>You got a hell of a phone situation down</b> <b>I've been trying to reach all afternoon.</b> <b>Listen, uh, can you tell me</b> <b>what happened on my radar plane?</b> <b>Well, your plane's okay.</b> <b>Yeah, well, we've had quite a morning down</b> <b>here Just getting the pieces sorted out.</b> <b>We had a radio transmission.</b> <b>Well, there might have been some kind</b> <b>of mid-air collision.</b> <b>No, not at all.</b> <b>Those radar systems</b> <b>we've been tinkering with all week,</b> <b>this had a complete failure</b> <b>of all grounded air units</b> <b>and their backups,</b> <b>all of them at the same time.</b> <b>That's the way it appears, actually,</b> <b>your plane has been rerouted to Hallowell.</b> <b>But our people definitely said</b> <b>something about debris in a search.</b> <b>Well, we had two planes up there, too.</b> <b>They've also been rerouted</b> <b>to Hallowell, actually.</b> <b>Okay, thanks.</b> <b>You bet.</b> <b>I'm in.</b> <b>Well, that does it.</b> <b>Hallowell has absolutely no word</b> <b>at all on four one, two.</b> <b>But I mean,</b> <b>they're not expecting our plane.</b> <b>No time, no how.</b> <b>I just got confirmation from Barnes.

Yeah.</b> <b>Where do you get it?</b> <b>We saw it on the board base operation.</b> <b>Somebody didn't get the word to.</b> <b>I on radar.</b> <b>Why didn't we go there in the first place?</b> <b>Come on.</b> <b>Wasn't the Sergeant Pierce</b> <b>the concert base?</b> <b>Lots of Taliban on the line.</b> <b>Is Colonel Moore.</b> <b>I see.</b> <b>I'll have the captain of the ship call me</b> <b>as soon as he gets in.</b> <b>How much time?</b> <b>You know, Honeywell</b> <b>just confirmed that 412 is doing it.</b> <b>1430.</b> <b>It's the middle of summer.</b> <b>And here we are in a snowstorm.</b> <b>You don't think the plane went down?</b> <b>Oh, no, no.</b> <b>Nobody would try to cover</b> <b>a thing like that up.</b> <b>But somebody is up to something</b> <b>and I am going to find out.</b> <b>What it is.</b> <b>Ferguson Who made the original sighting?</b> <b>Blanco</b> <b>Oh, look, you don't have to call me sir.</b> <b>They ask us to activate our radar and</b> <b>to look at a certain sector of the sky.</b> <b>What did you see?</b> <b>Well, Codrescu reported three deaths.</b> <b>11:00 am I confirmed?</b> <b>Is that word Blanco This is a well, yeah.</b> <b>They gave us the coordinates.</b> <b>That's what you reported.</b> <b>But they never said they saw it, did they?</b> <b>Well, they must have seen something.</b> <b>They see there's no confirmation on it.</b> <b>Something appeared</b> <b>and then it disappeared.</b> <b>Maybe it wasn't even there at all.</b> <b>We want to.</b> <b>Know everything you thought you saw,</b> <b>didn't start.</b> <b>We're getting reports in from the Marines</b> <b>and checking their equipment</b> <b>for misalignment.</b> <b>Misalignment?</b> <b>What do you mean, misalignment?</b> <b>Everything in radar,</b> <b>people go over the big dish.</b> <b>There's sort of.</b> <b>Steve, they don't much like it</b> <b>when things go wrong.</b> <b>Yeah, well, I can understand that.</b> <b>I wouldn't either if I just lost to Jets.</b> <b>And there was Mach nine</b> <b>radar stacks of stories all the time about</b> <b>malfunctions, you know?</b> <b>What do you mean, malfunction?</b> <b>Something snatched two jets right</b> <b>on the damn sky.</b> <b>We agree.</b> <b>Three blips appeared and then disappeared.</b> <b>And so did the two Marine jets.</b> <b>And they're not supposed to.</b> <b>You saw them disappear on the radar scope.</b> <b>Get rigs in here.</b> <b>You saw them go,</b> <b>Well, I was</b> <b>let me tell you something</b> <b>about the reliability.</b> <b>Look,</b> <b>the facts are simple.</b> <b>Blanco Vista saw three blips.</b> <b>We saw the blips.</b> <b>They scrambled two jets.</b> <b>It just disappeared.</b> <b>The books disappeared.</b> <b>Now, what are you going to do about it?</b> <b>Now, let's go back over</b> <b>some of the details.</b> <b>We're going to tell them, right?</b> <b>I don't know,</b> <b>Sergeant.</b> <b>Sir, I understand</b> <b>you were tracking 412 this morning.</b> <b>Did you track it as far as how</b> <b>they will know they went east?</b> <b>East?</b> <b>Yes, sir.</b> <b>No one handed them off to</b> <b>somebody called Digger Control.</b> <b>And what is Digger Control?</b> <b>I don't know, Colonel, but.</b> <b>Nor it handled it.</b> <b>And did you track them after that?</b> <b>Yes, sir.</b> <b>They turned the course, oh, 74</b> <b>and took off from the desert due east</b> <b>until I lost them.</b> <b>What do you mean, you lost them?</b> <b>Well, they dropped off the scope</b> <b>when they got near the mountains.</b> <b>You lost radar contact</b> <b>and you didn't tell anybody.</b> <b>Major Digger Control had four.

One, two.</b> <b>I only tracked them</b> <b>because they're heading.</b> <b>What do you mean?

Curiosity?</b> <b>I've been stationed here 14 months</b> <b>and I've never seen anything flown</b> <b>through that area.</b> <b>Can you pinpoint or point?</b> <b>Sure can, Colonel.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>Hello, and welcome back.</b> <b>So clearly some nefarious shadow</b> <b>government agency has snapped up</b> <b>the pilots and is keeping them on ice</b> <b>until they get to see.</b> <b>What's possible,</b> <b>What's lost.

Most of us can't can.</b> <b>Let me ask them,</b> <b>can you not see that I'm talking</b> <b>to the viewers about this God awful movie</b> <b>you brought us?</b> <b>I'm trying to make a point</b> <b>about government conspiracy, but.</b> <b>I have some great news.</b> <b>All this talk about pilots</b> <b>and airplanes and airplanes</b> <b>and aviation has given me an idea.</b> <b>I don't want anything to do with it.</b> <b>I'm not going to listen</b> <b>to.

Just hear me out.</b> <b>Just hear me out.</b> <b>Just think about it.</b> <b>We should start our own airline.

No pass.</b> <b>But we can make money hand under fist.</b> <b>There's always people</b> <b>who need to fly on a moment's notice.</b> <b>What people?</b> <b>I know.</b> <b>Tons of people who need to get out of town</b> <b>and even out of the country.</b> <b>Quick, fast, in a hurry.</b> <b>And we can help them,</b> <b>you know, for a fee, of course.</b> <b>How do you propose we do that?</b> <b>You just get us a mess of planes,</b> <b>you know, and have at it.</b> <b>Who who's going to fly these planes?</b> <b>How hard can it be?</b> <b>I used to be pretty good at that time.</b> <b>Pilot video game back in the old days.</b> <b>And that qualifies you to fly a plane?</b> <b>Well, sure.</b> <b>I got the high score</b> <b>six times on super robot Red Baron</b> <b>down there at the bowling alley.</b> <b>That makes me an East pilot.</b> <b>According to Namco,</b> <b>the people who made a video game.</b> <b>So you feel qualified to fly</b> <b>a plane with people?

It.</b> <b>Well, sure.</b> <b>People</b> <b>don't want to sit next to you on a train.</b> <b>Do you really think they're going</b> <b>to feel good about take</b> <b>you taking them</b> <b>at the controls of a plane?</b> <b>And if they get on a plane</b> <b>and hear you say,</b> <b>this is your captain</b> <b>and I'll settle with Lincoln,</b> <b>don't you think people are going to push</b> <b>and shove their way</b> <b>to that emergency exit?</b> <b>Do you know how</b> <b>many people would be sliding down</b> <b>that inflatable ramp to freedom?</b> <b>How many?</b> <b>A lot.</b> <b>Well, I still think</b> <b>we should start our own airline.</b> <b>Seriously,</b> <b>how hard can starting an airline be?</b> <b>Just leave me out of it.</b> <b>Well, are too late.</b> <b>I already had the boys down</b> <b>in the advertising division</b> <b>producing a few spots</b> <b>that stuck to what they call commercials.</b> <b>By the way, here is the first one.</b> <b>I got it cued up and ready to go.</b> <b>If you have</b> <b>to get away quickly for a vacation</b> <b>or because really long is hard</b> <b>on your tail, please</b> <b>consider Van Doren Airlines.</b> <b>We don't ask your name.</b> <b>You don't have to show us a passport.</b> <b>Your word as your cash</b> <b>money is good enough for us.</b> <b>And if you are short on cash</b> <b>and need to leave immediately,</b> <b>like right now, ask about our 89% interest</b> <b>financing program.</b> <b>Full payment immediately upon landing,</b> <b>up to 45% of our seats</b> <b>now have working seatbelts.</b> <b>Van Doren, an airlines is the only airline</b> <b>personally endorsed</b> <b>by approved Larry Storage.</b> <b>Oh, how about that?</b> <b>So why did you name the airline after me?</b> <b>Liability reasons, mainly, but I'll be</b> <b>flying the plane, so you'll be fine.</b> <b>We aren't doing this, folks.</b> <b>I'm So.</b> <b>Let's get</b> <b>back to the disappearance of Flight 412.</b> <b>The film One reviewer advised people</b> <b>to avoid in droves.</b> <b>But we're cruising at altitude right now.</b> <b>Might as well</b> <b>just watch a little bit more.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>I'll tell you how we can settle</b> <b>this whole thing out.</b> <b>All right.</b> <b>You bring in an expert on radar</b> <b>and an expert on aeronautics,</b> <b>and you let us talk to them.</b> <b>What would you tell them?</b> <b>Well, aside from the most important part,</b> <b>namely</b> <b>that radar got a visual on your range</b> <b>that's just snapping right out of the sky.</b> <b>I saw three radar blips like a right angle</b> <b>turn in midair and move off the scope</b> <b>at about 5000 miles hour.</b> <b>Now, those experts could tell you</b> <b>that no known flying</b> <b>machine or bird of any sort</b> <b>can make such a turn, but</b> <b>nothing on the science could accelerate</b> <b>from 500 to 5001 second flat.</b> <b>Now, that is what I saw.</b> <b>Okay, Clifford, what did you see?</b> <b>I saw two Marine interceptors</b> <b>climbing forward of us,</b> <b>and they flew into a cloud,</b> <b>and I never came out.</b> <b>Okay.

How thick was a cloud?</b> <b>Seven, 800 feet.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>We have two Marine jets</b> <b>moving at better than 900 plus.</b> <b>They should have punched through</b> <b>that cloud less than three or 4 seconds.</b> <b>Did they?</b> <b>I just told you they didn't.</b> <b>Well, what did your scopes show?</b> <b>Exactly what he saw.</b> <b>The Jets disappeared</b> <b>and so did those other things.</b> <b>But you didn't see that.</b> <b>You only saw your scopes left on and off.</b> <b>Tony,</b> <b>this is sounding more</b> <b>and more like electronic malfunction.</b> <b>That's exactly what you were</b> <b>sent up there to check out.</b> <b>Well, then, blank of estimates</b> <b>had the same malfunction we did.</b> <b>Yeah, they're checking that out.</b> <b>Well,</b> <b>they better check on those kind of jets</b> <b>because they are going to come up too</b> <b>short.</b> <b>We have no report of two jets missing,</b> <b>and I'll be very happy to make one.</b> <b>Look,</b> <b>Cliff, you suffered a trick of the eye.</b> <b>Now, of two jets went down in that area.</b> <b>We know about it and we don't.</b> <b>They didn't go down.</b> <b>They just went.</b> <b>Nothing does that.</b> <b>That's what I'm trying to tell you.</b> <b>And I'm trying to tell you</b> <b>that we don't deal in science fiction and</b> <b>and of course, 074 would have put them</b> <b>on this heading right here.</b> <b>That means they would have gone in here,</b> <b>hopped over these mountain</b> <b>back on the radar.

Yes, but they didn't.</b> <b>So they must be here somewhere.</b> <b>You got a base directory?</b> <b>Yes.

It's on the shelf in.</b> <b>Colonel Moore and Raymond Barnes.</b> <b>How's it going?

Lousy.</b> <b>Maybe if you're open</b> <b>tomorrow, we can have lunch.</b> <b>Just the two of us.</b> <b>A little chat?</b> <b>Yeah, well,</b> <b>I'm not going to be free tonight.

Maybe.</b> <b>I'm very sorry.

I really am.</b> <b>Can I call him?</b> <b>No.

Look, Did they feel that blank vista?</b> <b>A security alert?</b> <b>Kind of.</b> <b>They've pulled my radar</b> <b>people off the line.</b> <b>Why have you got your people back?</b> <b>You know,</b> <b>Freeman.</b> <b>Did the alert have anything to do</b> <b>with that radio transmission?</b> <b>We picked up about losing contact</b> <b>with your jets?</b> <b>We've lost them.</b> <b>They disappeared.

Vanished?</b> <b>What office?</b> <b>Close enough.

Trace.</b> <b>Is that why they pulled</b> <b>your radar, people?</b> <b>I suppose you know the standard procedure</b> <b>for UFO sightings.</b> <b>Why didn't you tell me about this before?</b> <b>I couldn't speak freely before.</b> <b>Yeah, well, what is the connection</b> <b>between that and for 12?</b> <b>I don't know.</b> <b>Determination is another hands hold.</b> <b>Special intelligence.</b> <b>You know, it's very strange.</b> <b>Everybody's operating on a strictly</b> <b>need to know basis.</b> <b>Well, I need to know more than that.</b> <b>I don't know</b> <b>how you're going to handle this, but</b> <b>whatever comes up,</b> <b>I never made this phone call.</b> <b>What do you mean about radar, people?</b> <b>Look, we're.</b> <b>We're just trying to find out, man.</b> <b>Right?</b> <b>Well, I've done this.</b> <b>Holloman.</b> <b>Marine Air Station deactivated 1954.</b> <b>It isn't even on the map anymore.</b> <b>Okay, that's my contribution.</b> <b>Tell me what Byron said.</b> <b>No.

Later.</b> <b>How are you at Desert Survival?</b> <b>We're going out there.</b> <b>Well,</b> <b>what are we going to tell the general?</b> <b>Well, if we do find people,</b> <b>I'm going to tell him plenty.</b> <b>Well, hello and welcome back.</b> <b>Did I not tell you there was a lot of</b> <b>sitting around and talking.</b> <b>But clearly these guys didn't</b> <b>get snatched up by no UFO.</b> <b>Oh, you're right about that.</b> <b>But there must have been</b> <b>some movies out there about UFOs</b> <b>grabbing and snatching people up.</b> <b>Well, sure, There was Close</b> <b>Encounters of the Third Kind in 1977.</b> <b>Fire in the Sky in 1993.</b> <b>And Santa Claus Conquers</b> <b>the Martians in 1964.</b> <b>And that movie, Martians snatch up Santa.</b> <b>The Real Santa.</b> <b>Yeah, that's just a few of the movies</b> <b>that feature aliens and alien abductions.</b> <b>Do alien abductions really happen?</b> <b>I mean, I guess that depends on who ask.</b> <b>Some people are convinced</b> <b>the government is in cahoots with aliens.</b> <b>These people believe the government</b> <b>sort of like what's happening</b> <b>in this movie actively works</b> <b>to keep the aliens a secret.</b> <b>Oh, yeah.

Whoa.</b> <b>You can read more about that concept</b> <b>in the book Alien Agenda Investigating</b> <b>the Extraterrestrial Presence</b> <b>Among US by Jim Mars.</b> <b>Mars spends a good deal of time</b> <b>talking about</b> <b>how the government tries</b> <b>to issue misinformation and diversions</b> <b>and to conceal what he sees</b> <b>as the truth about aliens.</b> <b>It's a thick book, but for suppose sake,</b> <b>it has a few pictures.</b> <b>Oh, I like the pictures.</b> <b>But what about TV?</b> <b>What about it?</b> <b>Any alien abduction stuff on the TV?</b> <b>Oh, yeah.

The X-Files did</b> <b>about a million episodes on Aliens.</b> <b>Even Homer Simpson had an encounter</b> <b>with what he thought was an alien.</b> <b>So there's lots of stuff like that on TV.</b> <b>Oh, sure.</b> <b>There was Project</b> <b>UFO taken in Search of the Secrets</b> <b>of Skinwalker Ranch and Aliens.</b> <b>I could go on and on.</b> <b>Loads of stuff</b> <b>about aliens and UFOs on TV.</b> <b>People do like to watch the TV Boss.</b> <b>Yes, they do think they're.</b> <b>Really good because the boys up town have</b> <b>a second commercial for our our airline.</b> <b>Revved up and ready to go.

Dang it, Zappa.</b> <b>Let's just take a look.</b> <b>You know, maybe we can run it</b> <b>during that project UFO you mentioned.</b> <b>That show went off the air in 1970.

Nine.</b> <b>Maybe we can show it during a summer</b> <b>rerun.</b> <b>Anyway, let's take a look</b> <b>at that great commercial.</b> <b>When planning your next trip,</b> <b>be sure to consider the Honduran airlines</b> <b>for all your travel needs</b> <b>and set your mind at ease.</b> <b>You don't have to worry if</b> <b>there's a demand on your flight</b> <b>at the Honduran airlines.</b> <b>There's a demon on every flight.</b> <b>We take care of you From the moment</b> <b>you sit down to the moment</b> <b>your check clears, first class</b> <b>passengers are free</b> <b>to help themselves to our endless</b> <b>deviled ham banquet.</b> <b>We have convenient hubs in the Gobi</b> <b>Desert,</b> <b>the Marianas</b> <b>Trench and Oviedo, Florida.

Fly</b> <b>the angry skies, fly Van Doren Airline,</b> <b>the official airline of the Amish.</b> <b>Did you really perfect the deviled ham?</b> <b>A prototype, at least?</b> <b>Well,</b> <b>call me when you get a working model.</b> <b>Folks, please pay no heed to suppose</b> <b>wild shenanigans re.</b> <b>I know a distraction from</b> <b>the movie is nice,</b> <b>but unfortunately,</b> <b>the deviled ham fountain does not.</b> <b>Nay, it cannot exist.</b> <b>It's just another one of his lies.</b> <b>His cruel dream shattering lies.</b> <b>I'm sorry.</b> <b>Let's just get back</b> <b>to the disappearance of Flight 412.</b> <b>Here on Nightmare Theater.</b> <b>Where?</b> <b>I don't know what we're going.</b> <b>To do when we get there.</b> <b>We're going to get our men out of there.</b> <b>You think can just walk in?</b> <b>Excuse me.</b> <b>These remain and walk out again.</b> <b>Ain't somebody went to a lot of trouble</b> <b>to keep us?</b> <b>That's for sure.</b> <b>Who's Barnes talking about?</b> <b>Seems that for 12 tangled with a UFO.</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>Mm hmm.</b> <b>Let's go back.</b> <b>The men are okay.

I know they are.</b> <b>How do you know that?</b> <b>Because I was involved</b> <b>in something like this two years ago.</b> <b>UFO situation.</b> <b>And what happened?</b> <b>Oh, you raked over the coals and</b> <b>convinced us that we didn't see a thing.</b> <b>And they made it perfectly clear</b> <b>we were involved in the national security.</b> <b>Look, I know how you feel about the men.</b> <b>I respect you for that.</b> <b>Tell him to back off now.</b> <b>For my own good.</b> <b>I can't back up now.</b> <b>What are you guys going to feed us?</b> <b>We'll get around to it.</b> <b>Ferguson, How did you get into the Air</b> <b>Force Academy?</b> <b>I was appointed Congressman.</b> <b>You like what you do?</b> <b>Sure.</b> <b>The only good at it</b> <b>is excellent.</b> <b>And how do you think he achieved this</b> <b>level of excellence?</b> <b>My training, the United States government</b> <b>made a lot of money for that training.</b> <b>I appreciate it.</b> <b>That's good, because when you got through</b> <b>the academy, Ferguson,</b> <b>amongst other things,</b> <b>you became an officer and a gentleman.</b> <b>Yes, he did.</b> <b>Where is all this leading to?</b> <b>You're told and is the truth that you're</b> <b>the best this country has to offer?</b> <b>All that's required</b> <b>is that you measure up to what</b> <b>the primary obligation</b> <b>of a military officer, which is</b> <b>put it your life is lie.</b> <b>You questioning my integrity?</b> <b>Not at all.</b> <b>Just you're level of cooperation.</b> <b>With what?</b> <b>What am I supposed to cooperate with?</b> <b>Why don't you get to the point</b> <b>here?</b> <b>He's not questioning our integrity.</b> <b>He's asking us to dispense with you</b> <b>all rotation.</b> <b>How did you get into the academy?</b> <b>Hey, tell us what's coming</b> <b>over the next year here.</b> <b>Hey, listen, I'll trade my only friends.</b> <b>Say I left coffee.</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>A little cream, J.</b> <b>Yeah, Please.</b> <b>Fresh.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>Who saw the flying saucers?</b> <b>Well, I saw them.</b> <b>Oh, no, I, uh.</b> <b>No, I didn't,</b> <b>Tony.</b> <b>I.

I just have a glimpse.</b> <b>Good.</b> <b>Then we can dispense with that.</b> <b>What about the jets that were just</b> <b>spent with, uh, unconfirmed?</b> <b>Hey, how come you guys went by a story?</b> <b>How come?</b> <b>Because it sounds just like a story.</b> <b>And we've dealt with these things before.</b> <b>Qualified people</b> <b>making unqualified statements.</b> <b>And what you thought</b> <b>you saw couldn't happen.</b> <b>There's no evidence</b> <b>to make us believe that it could.</b> <b>So you didn't see.</b> <b>Why don't you finish that sentence?</b> <b>We don't get out of here until we swallow</b> <b>that.</b> <b>Right, buster?</b> <b>The only thing I'm going to swallow</b> <b>is coffee.</b> <b>Hey, time my.</b> <b>Well, hello and welcome back.</b> <b>If you like movies about guys</b> <b>sitting in rooms and yelling,</b> <b>then I'm sure you're enjoying movie.</b> <b>This is what confuses me more.</b> <b>So this ought to be.</b> <b>No, I'm serious.</b> <b>The Air Force guys,</b> <b>they work for the government.</b> <b>Yeah, And the guys?

What snatched him up?</b> <b>They're the government.</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>So why is the government</b> <b>holding government, guys?</b> <b>Well, SAPO,</b> <b>that's all a part of that conspiracy stuff</b> <b>I was telling you about earlier.</b> <b>Some people believe the government</b> <b>is deliberately hiding stuff from us.</b> <b>Lying to us.</b> <b>Oh, kid.

Oh, no, no, it's true.</b> <b>Some people believe there's</b> <b>an all controlling group out there</b> <b>that really runs things.</b> <b>There's all sorts of conspiracies</b> <b>out there.</b> <b>UN black helicopters.</b> <b>Kim trails the JFK assassination.</b> <b>I Heard about that group?</b> <b>You know,</b> <b>somebody told me they were police.</b> <b>I can't believe it's</b> <b>not butter with real butter.</b> <b>And those are the guys.</b> <b>They're the ones who told dogs</b> <b>and it really wasn't bacon.</b> <b>Yeah.

Yeah.</b> <b>The New World Order wrestling is thick,</b> <b>I bet.</b> <b>And conspiracy</b> <b>guys are the ones who snatched Ross</b> <b>right off the streets of Lake Edna.</b> <b>He was going to talk.</b> <b>He was going to tell us</b> <b>what the 11 herbs and spices.</b> <b>Well, I mean, some people do believe</b> <b>that there are nefarious</b> <b>forces at work to control us all the time.</b> <b>Those people are in league</b> <b>with the colonel's goons.</b> <b>And they got him.</b> <b>They swooped for Rush</b> <b>right off the streets</b> <b>and there was no one left</b> <b>to run the liquid in the KFC.</b> <b>Listen, Snapple.</b> <b>Lots of people really believe</b> <b>there are conspiracies everywhere.</b> <b>I've fallen victim to several of them</b> <b>myself,</b> <b>and I believe in all of those things,</b> <b>Even the conspiracies</b> <b>that contradict each other.</b> <b>Yeah, bet you do.</b> <b>Aliens control everything, boss.</b> <b>From the economy to NASCAR to the weather.</b> <b>Nope, not true.</b> <b>Especially Disasters.</b> <b>Like.

You know, natural disasters.</b> <b>You take any fire, any flood,</b> <b>any earthquake, any major disaster.</b> <b>Like.</b> <b>You and you take any major disaster,</b> <b>then Wonder if flying saucers were there.</b> <b>You see both flying</b> <b>saucers are still a rumor officially.</b> <b>But I know the truth.</b> <b>I know the whole shebang.

Boss.</b> <b>So you believe storms and hurricanes</b> <b>and all that are not caused by</b> <b>tectonic plates shifting or by natural</b> <b>and predictable weather patterns, but by.</b> <b>Aliens?

Yes, I do.</b> <b>Suppo aliens might or might not exist.</b> <b>Have you heard of the Fermi Paradox?</b> <b>Yes, I hear they were a pretty good</b> <b>jazz skiffle fusion thing</b> <b>and I saw them in 1957</b> <b>at a very small club, the East Village.</b> <b>Listen, the Fermi Paradox basically</b> <b>says that if life life exists somewhere</b> <b>in the universe, why hasn't anyone</b> <b>packed up a wagon and come to visit us?</b> <b>There's no evidence for that</b> <b>that's coming it down.</b> <b>I think about it like this.</b> <b>There has to be millions</b> <b>and millions of planets out there.</b> <b>But let's assume</b> <b>that there are only 1 million planets</b> <b>in the whole entire universe.</b> <b>If only 1% are like our planet,</b> <b>that's 10,000 planets.</b> <b>How come no one has dropped off a welcome</b> <b>to the neighborhood fruit basket yet?</b> <b>How can it be?</b> <b>Our planet</b> <b>is the only one with life on it.</b> <b>We're lucky.</b> <b>There's absolutely no evidence</b> <b>to suggest that we are.</b> <b>Lucky we wait.</b> <b>I some stuff on TV about it.</b> <b>We have been visited by aliens,</b> <b>built a bunch of stuff here on earth.</b> <b>I know there are those who believe</b> <b>that life here began out there</b> <b>far across the universe and that earth</b> <b>was colonized by beings that would become</b> <b>the ancestors of the Egyptians.</b> <b>The whole text,</b> <b>maybe even the Mayans, these billion</b> <b>beings built the pyramids and Atlantis,</b> <b>supposedly.</b> <b>That's the ancient astronaut</b> <b>theorists say that's what they say.</b> <b>I know those same people</b> <b>believe aliens had spaceships that could</b> <b>travel trillions and trillions of miles</b> <b>across the universe.</b> <b>But when they got here,</b> <b>they had to pile up rocks</b> <b>so they could find their way home</b> <b>from Egypt to Peru.</b> <b>Maybe There's no evidence because</b> <b>the government keeps covering it up.</b> <b>That's another problem with conspiracies.</b> <b>If you disagree with a conspiracy,</b> <b>it shows one or two things.</b> <b>You're either a part of the conspiracy</b> <b>or you've been sent to create doubt or be.</b> <b>It shows how much you've been duped</b> <b>by the conspiracy.</b> <b>I don't know if aliens exist.</b> <b>They might.</b> <b>They might not.</b> <b>You don't care if aliens are out there.</b> <b>No, I don't.</b> <b>So long as their business interests</b> <b>do not conflict with mine,</b> <b>I don't care</b> <b>one way or the other about aliens.</b> <b>You know, Arthur C</b> <b>Clarke said there are possibilities.</b> <b>Either we are alone in the universe</b> <b>or we are not.</b> <b>Both are equally terrifying.</b> <b>I again renew my plea.</b> <b>If aliens are out there</b> <b>and if they are in the market</b> <b>for an Earth specimen, I volunteer myself.</b> <b>I can leave right now.</b> <b>Oh, you don't mean that, boss.</b> <b>Oh, but I do a lifetime in an alien</b> <b>petting zoo would be where I am now</b> <b>if I were off on some far planet</b> <b>in a reasonably comfortable cage.</b> <b>I wouldn't have to watch this movie.</b> <b>Folks.</b> <b>Let's get back to the endless</b> <b>monotony and boredom</b> <b>that is the disappearance of Flight</b> <b>412 here on Nightmare Theater.</b> <b>How much</b> <b>longer do we have to put up with this?</b> <b>I don't know.</b> <b>Maybe we don't have to.</b> <b>I have to think about it.</b> <b>This is a restricted area.</b> <b>You get that light out of my face.</b> <b>Sorry, sir.</b> <b>This is a restricted area.</b> <b>I'm Colonel Moore, Major Dundee.</b> <b>Four, five, eight.</b> <b>I suggest that you call</b> <b>whoever is in charge here</b> <b>and tell him that he has two additional</b> <b>guests.</b> <b>You'll understand what I mean.</b> <b>I've got a Colonel Moore and a major</b> <b>Dundee here at the main gate, sir.</b> <b>But I don't.</b> <b>I don't know what else can tell you.</b> <b>I mean,</b> <b>I don't know what else we can get you.</b> <b>I mean, you guys, do you want anything?</b> <b>Right,</b> <b>Gentlemen, What about function?</b> <b>Yeah, just say that.

Just write it</b> <b>down.

Function.</b> <b>I don't care.

Okay.</b> <b>That's pretty generous.</b> <b>No, the whole thing was in no function</b> <b>from the time we left.</b> <b>We knew the time we got here.</b> <b>It's just one great big malfunction.</b> <b>I'm driving.</b> <b>I'd like to see some I.D..</b> <b>On your way.</b> <b>Well, we'd like to see some of yours.</b> <b>What can I do for you, Colonel?</b> <b>You're holding four of my men,</b> <b>so we need some.</b> <b>This.

This whole act.</b> <b>You wouldn't be because of a UFO sighting,</b> <b>now, would it?</b> <b>It's a UFO situation, Colonel.</b> <b>When these things occur, it's policy</b> <b>to check out all the personnel.</b> <b>What do you mean, check out?</b> <b>Piece the whole thing together.</b> <b>I see you're.</b> <b>You're investigating,</b> <b>and we're talking to your men.</b> <b>I see them.</b> <b>Not just yet.

When?</b> <b>Colonel,</b> <b>this is a matter of national security.</b> <b>Oh, come on.</b> <b>That's getting to be a very thin umbrella.</b> <b>No, I know about national security, Mr..</b> <b>But you can't put that label</b> <b>on everything.</b> <b>We get these assignments</b> <b>all the time.

It's routine.</b> <b>Routine or not,</b> <b>I'm not leaving here without my men.</b> <b>On that</b> <b>case, one of the two of you</b> <b>make yourselves comfortable.</b> <b>I have some copies of your men out</b> <b>soon as possible.</b> <b>And how long will that be?</b> <b>As long as it takes me.</b> <b>Those were the guys that I was involved</b> <b>with two years ago.</b> <b>ASADI Now, he's</b> <b>probably on the phone right now to come in</b> <b>with a pair of clowns.</b> <b>We are.</b> <b>If you need me, I'm be in the country.</b> <b>All I have to do is to get to the aircraft</b> <b>race with you on the radio.</b> <b>We're going to get to the rest.</b> <b>Someone comes along,</b> <b>Don't rock the boat, Don't make waves.</b> <b>How you figure?</b> <b>That's the way that majors</b> <b>get to be Colonels.</b> <b>A certain lieutenant I knew stuck his nose</b> <b>in two years ago where it didn't belong.</b> <b>The lieutenant is now a shoe salesman</b> <b>in Cincinnati.</b> <b>That kind of advancement</b> <b>in life, I don't need.</b> <b>You're concerned about your position.</b> <b>That's right.</b> <b>Well, I'm concerned about more than that.</b> <b>Hello,</b> <b>and welcome back to Nightmare Theater.</b> <b>I hope you're finding something</b> <b>to enjoy in this movie.</b> <b>I still like that dude's mustache.</b> <b>I bet you do.</b> <b>I bet there were a lot of neat mustache</b> <b>back in the 1970s.</b> <b>Well, suppose you were there.</b> <b>You should remember.</b> <b>I bet a lot of people like mustaches.</b> <b>Maybe.</b> <b>And I bet some guys could be identified</b> <b>just by their mustaches.</b> <b>You know,</b> <b>that might be a fun thing to do.

Oh.</b> <b>No.

Yeah.

No, no, no.</b> <b>Hey.

Hey.</b> <b>What's the best thing to do on a rainy day</b> <b>when the government,</b> <b>they just have you clapped in your family,</b> <b>locked up in a cell?</b> <b>We are proud to announce a brand new game</b> <b>from Bond Dawn's</b> <b>divisions of textiles, adhesives</b> <b>and recreational activities.</b> <b>Whose mustaches that hours of fun</b> <b>for kids from 8 to 39 just like your games</b> <b>could.</b> <b>Art comes with all you see here</b> <b>the trimming accessory,</b> <b>the mustache cards and a sand timer.</b> <b>Hey, boss,</b> <b>do you want to know how to play this game?</b> <b>No.

You want to know how to play this</b> <b>game?</b> <b>No, of course</b> <b>you do.

Here's how you play the shaver.</b> <b>Which in this case is me.</b> <b>Shaver.

Yes, the shaver takes.</b> <b>He picks a card.</b> <b>And I've already fixed one</b> <b>because we're doing this by US rules.</b> <b>And he attaches it to the trimming</b> <b>apparatus, and then he holds it up.</b> <b>Whose mustache is this?</b> <b>Is it Tom Selleck?</b> <b>Is it Bea Arthur?</b> <b>Is it Alex Trebek?</b> <b>You want to take a guess?</b> <b>You want to take a guess, boss?

Yeah.</b> <b>Okay.

Let me check the answer.</b> <b>Oh, it was Jim Croce,</b> <b>But hey, you get three in a row, right?</b> <b>And you'll advance to the bonus room</b> <b>where you have to match the Shatner</b> <b>to play with the Shatner role.</b> <b>Is it T.J. Hooker, Kingdom of the Spiders?</b> <b>That time he was on?

Columbo,</b> <b>you want to wrap this up?</b> <b>Yes, right.

And you win.</b> <b>And what do you win?</b> <b>You win a 50% off coupon</b> <b>to Pete Pompadour Palace in Pensacola.</b> <b>Who would want to go to Pensacola</b> <b>everyone, Boss?</b> <b>Everyone Now, if you say so.

Yes.</b> <b>Whose mustache is that is available?</b> <b>Wherever boardgames</b> <b>came.

Hands and car radio was our sole.</b> <b>You done with that?</b> <b>Yes, sir</b> <b>Am.

Folks, please ignore this man.</b> <b>He creates a board game based on mustaches</b> <b>and he leaves out Billy</b> <b>Dee Williams and Rollie Fingers.</b> <b>Typical SAPO Well, if you don't like</b> <b>the game, I have some very good news.</b> <b>I'm doubting.</b> <b>That.

Oh, I do have some very good news.</b> <b>Our third commercial is from the photo</b> <b>net, and let's take a look.

No.</b> <b>Von Dawn Airlines is ready to.</b> <b>Take you and your family or just you.</b> <b>What you do is a business.</b> <b>We don't judge anywhere you want to go</b> <b>with flights taking daily,</b> <b>some even landing.</b> <b>Von Dylan and airlines is the first place</b> <b>you should call.</b> <b>Our cabins are spacious</b> <b>and most of the windows are closed</b> <b>now Van Doren Airlines.</b> <b>We might lose your luggage,</b> <b>but we will get you there.</b> <b>Probably be sure to visit our unclean</b> <b>and freight duty free gift shop</b> <b>conveniently located in the back</b> <b>parking lot behind the baggage</b> <b>claim area.</b> <b>That was terrible.</b> <b>Worse than the mustache fiasco.</b> <b>Well, folks,</b> <b>let's check in with the movie,</b> <b>if only to see what David</b> <b>Soul's mustache is up to now.</b> <b>Please enjoy</b> <b>some more of the disappearance of Flight</b> <b>412 here on Nightmare Theater.</b> <b>Comes out of this a bigger control.</b> <b>This is Triton</b> <b>passed me through the ticket command.</b> <b>Hello?</b> <b>Yes, Put him through.</b> <b>Drop.

Run.

Yes, sir.</b> <b>I'm sorry to bother you,</b> <b>but we had a development out here.</b> <b>Required my own initiative.</b> <b>I thought you should be notified.</b> <b>Go on.</b> <b>Colonel Morgan is a major darling.</b> <b>Arrive at the front gate.</b> <b>I'm out of entry.</b> <b>I'm holding right now</b> <b>in an interrogation room.</b> <b>You ordered this?</b> <b>Well, yes, sir.</b> <b>The circumstances dictated it.</b> <b>If I had refused of entry,</b> <b>they may have gone to another authority.</b> <b>Yes, I see.</b> <b>Yeah, Well, then you did well, dropping.</b> <b>How are things going with that crew?</b> <b>Well, we just about finished with the men,</b> <b>and we should have all</b> <b>of the contradictory evidence</b> <b>we need by tomorrow morning.</b> <b>You're very efficient.</b> <b>Frogmen concern.</b> <b>Just remember,</b> <b>no violence.</b> <b>I wouldn't dream of it, sir.</b> <b>You hear anything?</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>At least one of them has some gas.</b> <b>I'll tell Trump.</b> <b>This should be interesting.</b> <b>Congratulations.</b> <b>We know you are.</b> <b>There's no reason you're not out.</b> <b>Nice try.</b> <b>I know my time.</b> <b>All I have a</b> <b>right to go to my up.</b> <b>Did you hear me?</b> <b>Yes, I got.</b> <b>I have a right to go to my aircraft.</b> <b>I have a right to call my commanding</b> <b>officer.</b> <b>Gentleman's going on.</b> <b>What is going on?</b> <b>My men are being held against their will.</b> <b>All right.</b> <b>We are conducting</b> <b>a debriefing under orders.</b> <b>You will not be released</b> <b>until you are debriefed.</b> <b>Debriefing?</b> <b>What is my.

Any sense?</b> <b>I may have to go now.</b> <b>You were</b> <b>they reached out to everyone, yes or no?</b> <b>Yes.

Why not do anything?</b> <b>I need to do much.</b> <b>We're not dealing with the enemy here.</b> <b>Do you know that?</b> <b>Really?</b> <b>You know everything about national policy.</b> <b>I want the military complex</b> <b>tough against you.</b> <b>You go back to your room.

No.</b> <b>All right.</b> <b>And I go, got here.</b> <b>But if you tell me to do that, it's</b> <b>going to be hard on your men.</b> <b>Much harder.</b> <b>I don't want that.</b> <b>You know, we want to get out here.</b> <b>There's only one way to do it.</b> <b>Don't make up your mind.</b> <b>And even be.</b> <b>Involved in the burger hall.</b> <b>You brought it home.</b> <b>And he told me it was an.

Impossible.</b> <b>It was impossible.</b> <b>I don't see that how that could be.</b> <b>Because the how it possible,</b> <b>if it's impossible.</b> <b>Don't get it easier.</b> <b>Now, listen, I see.</b> <b>I thought the burger</b> <b>was some kind of Schrodinger's burger.</b> <b>No.

Maybe it only exists that</b> <b>if you were looking at it or went away.</b> <b>I don't see.

What you mean.</b> <b>I.

Of course I hate it, but I don't see</b> <b>how it's impossible anymore.</b> <b>Anyway.</b> <b>Welcome back, folks.</b> <b>We're here once again.</b> <b>And the sub subsub sub</b> <b>basement of the television studio</b> <b>where the mysterious curator</b> <b>from the Maryland Movie Museum.</b> <b>And he's brought us some more items</b> <b>to show us tonight from film history.</b> <b>So take it away, Curator.</b> <b>What do we have here tonight?</b> <b>So these are a number of items</b> <b>that were used</b> <b>in the making of the film Team</b> <b>America World Police</b> <b>done by Trey Parker and Matt Stone,</b> <b>the duo behind South Park,</b> <b>and a film made with marionettes</b> <b>as they as the actors in the film.</b> <b>One of the things I think is interesting</b> <b>about this film is obviously</b> <b>it made use</b> <b>of a number of different scale items</b> <b>throughout the course of the movie,</b> <b>and that's kind of why I wanted to bring</b> <b>a few different things, because there are</b> <b>some things here, like perhaps</b> <b>the newspaper that might be actually</b> <b>in scale with the marionettes,</b> <b>you know, that might be something</b> <b>you might have seen a puppet</b> <b>have held in its hands to</b> <b>to be able to look at Puppet</b> <b>could read better than you.</b> <b>Better than yes.</b> <b>Versus something like the planes.</b> <b>And there are a lot of planes in the film.</b> <b>Obviously, they did not get a marionette</b> <b>inside the plane,</b> <b>so they'd shoot the plane.</b> <b>You know what I was going to?</b> <b>And then they'd have a separate shot</b> <b>with the marionette supposedly</b> <b>inside the cockpit of the plane.

Right.</b> <b>So a little bit of movie magic, some,</b> <b>you know, some equipment</b> <b>that might come near them, missiles</b> <b>that are completely differently done.</b> <b>And, you know, just to kind of show you</b> <b>how they hold them in place,</b> <b>they're literally mounted on a toothpick.</b> <b>You know, there's at one point, you know,</b> <b>there's a shot of the photo frame.</b> <b>This is just a full size</b> <b>photo frame that obviously</b> <b>would be very,</b> <b>very big next to a marionette.</b> <b>But who is that lady?</b> <b>I think that's your mom in the hallway.</b> <b>No, believe me, it is not so.

So</b> <b>I mean, this movie was controversial,</b> <b>too, at the time.</b> <b>Yeah.

Very controversial.</b> <b>And got got death threats.</b> <b>In fact, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, because.</b> <b>Well, I get a lot of the time of.</b> <b>Yeah, that's</b> <b>just par for the course for you.</b> <b>But but even the entire country of North</b> <b>Korea was going to come after them</b> <b>at some point, right.</b> <b>Not the first time that happened</b> <b>or the last.</b> <b>Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Right.</b> <b>But yes, you know, had a</b> <b>had a major parody</b> <b>of the then Korean leader Kim Jong Il and</b> <b>of course his successor</b> <b>then went on to threaten another film</b> <b>that was parodying him.</b> <b>So the more things change,</b> <b>the more they stay the same.</b> <b>And I was I was, you know, concerned</b> <b>for them more because of the celebrities</b> <b>that are parodied in some of these films</b> <b>that that the you know, Matt Parker, Trey</b> <b>Stone have spent their career basically</b> <b>parodying everything under the sun.</b> <b>You know, we we know them from,</b> <b>you know, Trey Parker, Matt Stone</b> <b>from South Park, you know, and that's</b> <b>kind of still South Park still going.</b> <b>As a matter of fact,</b> <b>after all of these years,</b> <b>they're still finding things to</b> <b>parody and talk about and</b> <b>and make social commentary on.</b> <b>And that's very important in their films,</b> <b>despite the fact that they're very</b> <b>over-the-top comedies, they're also trying</b> <b>to make very salient political points.</b> <b>A lot the time they do.

And</b> <b>in this</b> <b>particular film, not just parodying,</b> <b>you know,</b> <b>that kind of propaganda</b> <b>ask like eighties action film, right?</b> <b>Things that we saw like Top Gun,</b> <b>Iron Eagle, that sort of thing.</b> <b>But, you know, the film opens with a</b> <b>pretty dead on parody of the musical rant.</b> <b>Right.</b> <b>And there are a lot of celebrities</b> <b>who are mimicked in the film.</b> <b>And then, of course, you know,</b> <b>above and beyond the choice of to do this</b> <b>as a marionette film, as really going</b> <b>back to the Jerry Doogan series</b> <b>from the UK in the 1950s</b> <b>and 1960s, things like Thunderbirds</b> <b>and yeah, that's Super Mario Nation.</b> <b>That's Jerry Anderson stuff.</b> <b>Who did that stuff?</b> <b>Who made, you know, a lot of these films</b> <b>the Thunderbirds are go and then also made</b> <b>you know</b> <b>he also did produce Spaced 1999 and</b> <b>a lot of other television series too</b> <b>so very important and but and they said</b> <b>they never wanted to do this again.</b> <b>Well, after this film was over,</b> <b>they said, we never want to work</b> <b>with marionettes again.</b> <b>And they said.</b> <b>They didn't want.

To work with me here.</b> <b>That's a lot of people say that.</b> <b>But it was one of those films</b> <b>that they said was incredibly difficult,</b> <b>but it always pays off it all shows.</b> <b>On the screen.</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>And again, a film</b> <b>that's just got some really great prop</b> <b>work in it, if you look at the detail</b> <b>on, you know, a plane like this, there</b> <b>probably wasn't on screen for very long.</b> <b>But yeah,</b> <b>it was very convincing model plane.</b> <b>And there</b> <b>there are dozens of these in the film</b> <b>it looks just like a mother submarines.</b> <b>There are cars, there vehicles</b> <b>and you know we're very lucky</b> <b>have some great examples of them</b> <b>in the Marilyn movie museum collection.</b> <b>Yeah well thank you again for bringing us</b> <b>such a wonderful items.</b> <b>Is the selection here?</b> <b>And why don't you folks get back</b> <b>to our film here on Nightmare theater?</b> <b>Can I have that picture?

No,</b> <b>I haven't got.</b> <b>Come up with.</b> <b>You know what they're doing.</b> <b>So tell me why.</b> <b>Why are we looking for the truth?</b> <b>The truth,</b> <b>Tony?</b> <b>You want the truth?</b> <b>You want to</b> <b>put it out.</b> <b>But I don't want to kind of like</b> <b>you're not gonna put it out now, so it's</b> <b>going to be all that I'm going to tell,</b> <b>But we're going to tell them.</b> <b>Forget it.

Forget it.</b> <b>We were talking on the phone.</b> <b>I forget that.</b> <b>And if we just watch the hell out of here,</b> <b>okay?</b> <b>This a hell of</b> <b>What do you want us to say?</b> <b>Do right.

Whatever.

We'll do it.</b> <b>All right.</b> <b>But anything you want,</b> <b>you want anything with anything.</b> <b>Record, anything we agree on anything.</b> <b>What do you want to do</b> <b>now?

We're getting somewhere.</b> <b>Okay, Roy,</b> <b>let's change the subject, shall we?</b> <b>If you've got an order</b> <b>from the proper channels</b> <b>prohibiting you from discussing matters</b> <b>pertaining to national security,</b> <b>would you obey it?</b> <b>Of course.</b> <b>What is your attitude about such an order?</b> <b>Or, say, orders?</b> <b>We know that I want an opinion.</b> <b>I would think that the Air Force</b> <b>would have a pretty good reason,</b> <b>a practical reason.</b> <b>Why don't you just.</b> <b>Just give me an order,</b> <b>okay?</b> <b>I'm an Air Force.</b> <b>I'm not some wild eyed kook</b> <b>looking to get on a 6:00 news.</b> <b>You understand?</b> <b>You don't have to try to convince me.</b> <b>Just give me an order.</b> <b>Something on paper, something I So my man,</b> <b>we're speaking hypothetically now.</b> <b>You words.</b> <b>You want me to shut up?</b> <b>Give me an order.</b> <b>No, that's not it at all.</b> <b>I.

I want to know.</b> <b>Sit down.</b> <b>Sit down.</b> <b>Now, uh oh.</b> <b>Colonel.

Morning.</b> <b>Have his men back now.</b> <b>Uh huh,</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>Uh huh, uh huh.</b> <b>All right, let's go.</b> <b>Uh uh uh uh.</b> <b>No, We can have your men now.</b> <b>Right in there</b> <b>as soon as they're cleaned up.</b> <b>Colonel, hold it.</b> <b>I want them</b> <b>to.

Being a little dramatic.</b> <b>No, not really,</b> <b>Colonel</b> <b>Trautman,</b> <b>you had my men for 18 hours.</b> <b>Now they're mine.</b> <b>Dunning and I</b> <b>are going to fly them out of.</b> <b>Oh, that'll be fine.</b> <b>I'll see that.</b> <b>Your targets, Victor Whitney.</b> <b>Digger Control</b> <b>disappeared as easily as it had</b> <b>come into existence,</b> <b>leaving Pete more a choice.</b> <b>He didn't hesitate.</b> <b>What do we tell General Enright?</b> <b>I don't worry about it.</b> <b>I'm going in with them.</b> <b>Uh, I wish you'd drop it for your sake.</b> <b>And I don't throw away a</b> <b>career for some lousy U.F.O..</b> <b>That's not what it's about.

No.</b> <b>And a lot of one thing I'd say,</b> <b>uh, I'd say sanction.</b> <b>Sanction?

Yeah.</b> <b>I think this whole setup here,</b> <b>those men were ordered to work my people</b> <b>over, and I'm going to find out who</b> <b>and why.</b> <b>A colonel.</b> <b>I, uh.</b> <b>I'm not going to see anybody</b> <b>about anything.</b> <b>I just give the general my regards.</b> <b>All right?</b> <b>Hello, and welcome back.</b> <b>So, folks, there's more sitting around,</b> <b>more talk and more hammy.</b> <b>Actors tune up scenes is just.</b> <b>This is a boring movie, boss.</b> <b>You're the one that brought it to us.</b> <b>Yeah, but I was looking into this movie.</b> <b>I heard the tagline for this movie was,</b> <b>If 10th of 1% of UFO sightings is real,</b> <b>Flight 412.

Founded.</b> <b>Before you even</b> <b>get started, don't ask me what that means</b> <b>because I assure you</b> <b>I don't know my best guess.</b> <b>The line is saying that 99% of UFO</b> <b>sightings are explainable.</b> <b>This one.

Isn't.</b> <b>But is it saying</b> <b>that Flight 412 found a UFO?</b> <b>Are they saying this really happened</b> <b>to some dudes they knew in the seventies?</b> <b>Do I look like I know?</b> <b>But if this story is true,</b> <b>if this story true, then where is the UFO?</b> <b>When are they going to show it?</b> <b>Are they ever going to show up?</b> <b>Oh, they're not going to show it.</b> <b>This was an extremely low budget film.</b> <b>The caterer only gave a baloney</b> <b>sandwich and coffee</b> <b>and the entire cast</b> <b>had to split that one sandwich.</b> <b>How can you have a UFO movie</b> <b>without a UFO?</b> <b>Does it look like they even have a script?</b> <b>I swear they're making this movie</b> <b>up as they go along.</b> <b>I am still holding out for that UFO.</b> <b>There's no UFO.</b> <b>The UFO is just a mechanism</b> <b>to drive the rest of the stories</b> <b>such that there is one.</b> <b>If they had said Bigfoot</b> <b>riding a hang glider and snatched up</b> <b>those marine planes,</b> <b>the story wouldn't change in this movie.</b> <b>And this night is a total loss.</b> <b>Well, what?</b> <b>Another one of our commercials.</b> <b>Improve your.

Mood?

No,</b> <b>it would have the opposite effect.</b> <b>Too late irony.</b> <b>Oh, Cued up.</b> <b>Ready to go.

Let's take a look.

No, no.</b> <b>A fun door and airlines.</b> <b>You can relax and leave the flying to us</b> <b>once you make it past our gates</b> <b>and our security people and go in the air.</b> <b>You are our responsibility and our pilots</b> <b>and inflight cabin crews have been</b> <b>specially trained to place your safety</b> <b>and comfort near the top of their lists.</b> <b>Sit back and make yourself comfortable.</b> <b>It's going to be a great flight.</b> <b>Sure,</b> <b>our planes have to circle the airport</b> <b>seven times</b> <b>before we even consider landing.</b> <b>But listen well to our words</b> <b>and look at that Captagon</b> <b>shape on your tickets to trust us.</b> <b>Look to the help to go for it.</b> <b>Is there a long with these worlds</b> <b>seven times around</b> <b>so each of our planes</b> <b>so make our landings be safe and true.</b> <b>Your definition of safe and true</b> <b>may differ from that of Von Dawn Airlines.</b> <b>Its traveling through and global</b> <b>shareholders.</b> <b>By watching this commercial,</b> <b>you are agreeing to honor the Pentagon</b> <b>and all of its terms and conditions.</b> <b>Man, that was the worst one yet, folks.</b> <b>We're</b> <b>never going to see a UFO in this movie</b> <b>and we're never going to start an airline.</b> <b>Yes, we.

Are.</b> <b>No, we aren't.</b> <b>Folks, let's get back to the mind</b> <b>numbing, soul crushing conclusion</b> <b>to the disappearance of Flight 21441,</b> <b>two or 412 or 412,</b> <b>whatever it is here on Nightmare Theater,</b> <b>you and your movies,</b> <b>General.</b> <b>Colonel, more to see you, sir.</b> <b>Hi, Pete.

Over here.</b> <b>How are you feeling?</b> <b>I'm tired.</b> <b>And what's all that?</b> <b>Daddy's man?</b> <b>A general.</b> <b>I'm going to tell you</b> <b>the wildest story you've ever heard.</b> <b>I just read it.</b> <b>Now, Pete, I knew you had initiative, but</b> <b>you fellows look like</b> <b>you've been pulled from a wine press.</b> <b>Is that trouble report?</b> <b>Yes, it is.</b> <b>What do you think?</b> <b>We're very thorough.</b> <b>Quite an investigation.</b> <b>Oh, yes, it was thorough,</b> <b>but there was no investigation.</b> <b>It's all here.</b> <b>The men are here for 12 hours here.</b> <b>The report is here.</b> <b>But where are the two Marine jets?</b> <b>What Marine jets?</b> <b>The ones I saw disappear, sir,</b> <b>I see nothing here about two jets.</b> <b>And, sir,</b> <b>you're right in the middle of a con job.</b> <b>I see.</b> <b>Captain, you didn't mention</b> <b>that during the investigation.</b> <b>At least once every half hour, sir.</b> <b>Excuse me, gentlemen.</b> <b>Will you wait inside this</b> <b>kind of trouble?</b> <b>You know, Colonel Moore and these men</b> <b>doesn't.</b> <b>Colonel, is this report complete?</b> <b>Yes, sir.</b> <b>Not one detail has been left out.

No, sir.</b> <b>I see no mention here of a visual sighting</b> <b>on the disappearance of two Marine jet</b> <b>scrambled by black Mr..</b> <b>What about that, Colonel?</b> <b>Those are reports</b> <b>we're under a separate cover from.</b> <b>You mean to say you couldn't</b> <b>connect one with the other?</b> <b>Of course I did.</b> <b>Oh, you did?</b> <b>Why didn't you do something about it?</b> <b>That's not my job.</b> <b>Wait a minute.</b> <b>I was still missing Jet right there.</b> <b>Confirm.

Yes, sir.</b> <b>When?</b> <b>Yesterday.</b> <b>About 1245 Yesterday.</b> <b>Then why did you hold my men</b> <b>all that time?</b> <b>You know,</b> <b>those reports were probably written one</b> <b>hour after you started questioning</b> <b>my orders, dictating my methods.</b> <b>Well,</b> <b>when I get my orders,</b> <b>Captain, I follow them.</b> <b>The last time I heard that</b> <b>it came from the dock at Nuremberg,</b> <b>I wouldn't make hasty comparisons.</b> <b>Just what are your orders</b> <b>going to intimidate,</b> <b>to bend, to distort the truth.</b> <b>Nobody would recognize it</b> <b>after you're finished with it.</b> <b>To investigate any sightings</b> <b>of unidentified flying objects</b> <b>by Air Force personnel and determine</b> <b>the accuracy of those sightings.

Yes.</b> <b>And what do you do about it?</b> <b>The reports are sent up, sent up to.</b> <b>That's classified.</b> <b>You know, I'm not a scientist</b> <b>and neither are you.</b> <b>But it seems to me that you've got to sort</b> <b>take a scientific approach to this.</b> <b>Either you prove these things exist</b> <b>or you prove they don't exist,</b> <b>but you don't pretend they're not there.</b> <b>Who sees this report?

Page</b> <b>You're</b> <b>entering an area that does concern you.</b> <b>I'm drawing a line here</b> <b>and you don't cross what line?</b> <b>Policy?</b> <b>Colonel, we don't set the policy.</b> <b>We act on it.</b> <b>We make our report, and that's it.</b> <b>Any action to be taken</b> <b>comes from somewhere else.</b> <b>Where were you then?</b> <b>Please wait outside.</b> <b>No, frankly, we.</b> <b>The Air Force doesn't have the time or the</b> <b>funds for tracking down flying saucers.</b> <b>Yes, but they do have the funds</b> <b>to maintain places like Digger Bates.</b> <b>Look, sir,</b> <b>my men told their story as straight</b> <b>as they could based on what they saw</b> <b>or thought they saw.</b> <b>It doesn't make any difference, really,</b> <b>of course,</b> <b>how you get a directive that tells you</b> <b>what to do gives you no latitude at.</b> <b>All and you know what you are.</b> <b>You're nothing but a laundry process</b> <b>here, Pete.</b> <b>We don't need any of that, General.</b> <b>What this man does is pointless</b> <b>by instinct.</b> <b>I know that his attitude doesn't</b> <b>serve the interests of this country.</b> <b>It's people or it's government.</b> <b>Colonel,</b> <b>officers</b> <b>are not supposed to act on instinct.</b> <b>They act on orders.</b> <b>And you're going to lay off</b> <b>Colonel Croft.</b> <b>Thank you.</b> <b>Really,</b> <b>You're going to be noble.</b> <b>Why don't you do it for something</b> <b>worthwhile?</b> <b>Now, don't misunderstand me.</b> <b>I'm just as concerned over</b> <b>this as you are.</b> <b>No more.</b> <b>So what I'm going to show you</b> <b>now is strictly off the record.</b> <b>It is not to leave this room.</b> <b>This is all</b> <b>we found of a missing Marine jet.</b> <b>Where was this?</b> <b>About 80 miles east of Lancaster.</b> <b>Where the cruise.</b> <b>We're still looking.</b> <b>Trutmann knew about this.</b> <b>He didn't need to.</b> <b>It has nothing to do with his job.</b> <b>General, does this sort of</b> <b>cover up going all the time?</b> <b>Hey.

Oh, look at that picture.</b> <b>That's the only piece of wreckage</b> <b>we've got.</b> <b>That's it.</b> <b>That's all there is.</b> <b>There's no way in the world</b> <b>we can explain this.</b> <b>And it's not the policy of the military</b> <b>to create panic.</b> <b>General, what are we creating</b> <b>to keep you fellas waiting?</b> <b>You hungry?</b> <b>No, thanks, Colonel.</b> <b>We're sorry</b> <b>that we made things rough for you.</b> <b>For me?</b> <b>Yeah.

We've talked it over.</b> <b>So this whole thing,</b> <b>it just isn't worth it.</b> <b>We'll drop it If you say so, sir.</b> <b>No, don't do that.</b> <b>Remember, policies change.</b> <b>Yeah, but not attitudes.</b> <b>But they don't last forever.</b> <b>Only as long as they're expedient.</b> <b>Eat more.</b> <b>I would have pursued the disappearance</b> <b>of Flight four.

One, two.</b> <b>If you could have found</b> <b>some place to pursue it.</b> <b>No one cared.</b> <b>And the only reason you could ever find</b> <b>why they didn't care</b> <b>was because</b> <b>they were afraid to cope with it.</b> <b>Even when it happened again</b> <b>four months later, a similar exercise.</b> <b>This time everyone was there.</b> <b>From the top down.</b> <b>Planes scrambled, objects were sighted.</b> <b>Everyone was a witness.</b> <b>It made no difference.</b> <b>Everyone was debriefed.</b> <b>The file closed, the incident forgotten</b> <b>much as was the Flight four one to</b> <b>the fate of the men concerned with 412</b> <b>has been curious.</b> <b>Indeed, Major</b> <b>Dunning was promoted to Colonel</b> <b>Lieutenant for rescue in return for</b> <b>his cooperation, was advanced to captain</b> <b>and is presently serving a three year</b> <b>tour in the Pentagon.</b> <b>Captain Bishop is still a captain and is</b> <b>serving a two year tour in the Canal Zone.</b> <b>Pete Moore was passed over three times for</b> <b>promotion and, retired at minimum eight.</b> <b>Well, there you go.</b> <b>That's the end of the movie.</b> <b>Looks like Glen Ford's character got</b> <b>what was coming to him</b> <b>and so did supposed pow mustache Joe.</b> <b>So what happened in this movie was?</b> <b>What best I can tell something attacked</b> <b>or crashed some military jets</b> <b>and the nefarious shadow government agency</b> <b>held the pilots who witness that</b> <b>in a secret location a few hours</b> <b>and then a guy to baloney sandwich.</b> <b>And then the movie was over.</b> <b>I could sure go for one of those</b> <b>sandwiches right about now.</b> <b>I could go for a better movie.</b> <b>Hey, speaking of what happened,</b> <b>how is the airline business going?</b> <b>Yeah, we're going to do that.

Why not?</b> <b>What happened?</b> <b>Well, it turns out that flying a plane,</b> <b>it's a lot harder than I thought it was.</b> <b>And by the way, by the way,</b> <b>I'd to take a just a minute to apologize</b> <b>to the former residents, The good people.</b> <b>The former residents of the East</b> <b>Bay Breezes apartment complex.</b> <b>I swear,</b> <b>I thought your roof was the runway.</b> <b>Oh, no.</b> <b>Well, there you go.</b> <b>If I were you Saffo,</b> <b>I'd obtain legal.

Counsel.</b> <b>Oh, I already did.</b> <b>And I got someone for you, too,</b> <b>since it was your name on the plane.</b> <b>Oh, that's just perfect.</b> <b>That's just typical.</b> <b>I'll get my own attorney.</b> <b>Thank you very much.</b> <b>I'll get you for this, SAPO.</b> <b>If it takes me the rest of my.</b> <b>Life, we'll be fine.</b> <b>We'll be fine.</b> <b>If the police show up,</b> <b>will claim that guy down in the sub sub</b> <b>subsub basement is you,</b> <b>and the three of us will fly to Mexico.</b> <b>I still got a plane.</b> <b>I'll fly us.</b> <b>You know,</b> <b>in the event that we are locked up.</b> <b>What do we have in store for viewers?</b> <b>Next week I'll.</b> <b>Have this boss.

Check it out.</b> <b>Deep down in the strange, lurid, murky</b> <b>depths of the Pacific, our fantastic,</b> <b>horribly grotesque creatures of the sea</b> <b>that challenge man's courage</b> <b>as no earthly creatures can.</b> <b>Science knows some of the answers,</b> <b>but not all.</b> <b>And among science's unknowns</b> <b>is the strange identity</b> <b>of the living monster</b> <b>from the ocean floor.</b> <b>Listen to me.</b> <b>If you're out there, I'm begging you.</b> <b>If you have to beam someone up</b> <b>or whatever, please take this guy.</b> <b>No one will care.</b> <b>No government on earth</b> <b>will hold it against you.</b> <b>All will be forgiven.</b> <b>Please, folks, that's it for tonight.</b> <b>And with luck, any second</b> <b>now, an advanced team from Prep Na 20 or</b> <b>some other planet will come down and cart</b> <b>this guy back to their home planet.</b> <b>So until next time,</b> <b>may all your dreams be nightmares.</b> <b>Anything</b> <b>that.</b>