[door opens] See what dirt you can find on her.

Joy.

You have a visitor.

A Mr.

Martin Mariner.

Just your type.

Are you Frank Hathaway?

-Are you American?

-Yes, sir.

From Nashville, Tennessee.

So, are you Frank Hathaway?

Uh, yes.

Oh.

Oh, Frank!

-[grunts] -It's so great to finally meet you.

Or should I call you Francis?

Oh, let me take a look at you.

You have two seconds to let me go.

Oh, no way.

I've been dreaming about this moment for years.

One... two... -Frank... -Easy, tiger.

-I did warn him.

-Too much.

Frank, please.

That hurts.

A lot.

Who the hell are you?

I'm your uncle.

What?

We're family, Frank.

Ain't it wonderful?

[Frank] What, you're my dad's brother?

[Martin] That's right.

My mother is your grandmother.

But don't you think my dad might have mentioned you?

He might not even know I exist.

I was adopted at birth.

I was raised by a wonderful British couple who moved out to Tennessee.

But now they've both passed, I'm tracing my blood relations.

And you, Frank... [clicks tongue] ...you are my first discovery.

Cobblers.

Well, I'll show you.

Now, birth certificate.

And that's my mother.

[Lu] "Elizabeth Hathaway."

Is that your grandmother?

Well, it's a common name.

[Lu] Maiden name: Foster.

I haven't got a clue about maiden names.

She died years before I was born.

How come the father's not listed?

Well, young man, it's very possible that I'm a love child.

Oh, great.

So now you're calling my nana a tramp as well as a liar.

Here's our family tree, Frank.

I only managed to go back to the 17th century.

[Sebastian] Incredible.

So, 1953.

Is that when your nan died?

Well, around that time, yes.

I can't find Elizabeth's death certificate to confirm the actual day.

But since I know that my mother died in childbirth, got to be my birthday: 4th of July, Independence Day.

That's great detective work, Martin, yeah.

-Thank you, ma'am.

-[Frank] Ah!

She died in childbirth, did you say?

That's right.

Because my nana died in a car crash.

Are you absolutely certain about that, Frank?

Because my adoptive parents were told that my mother died giving birth to me.

It's the only thing about my nana that I am sure of.

Ow, Frank!

[Frank] Wrong Elizabeth Hathaway.

Oh, what a shame.

There we are.

Let me help you with these.

-Frank... -Come on.

[Martin] We're related, Frank.

I can feel it.

[Frank] Apparently not.

At least let me buy you a coffee.

Come on.

[in mock American accent] Thanks for stopping by!

What?

He was obviously a con man.

What's he after, then?

Your fortune?

[sighs] So, when did this Lola start work here?

[Leon] Three months ago.

I gave her the job.

I honestly thought I could trust her.

That's what hurts the most.

-Aye.

When was this accident?

-[Leon] A month ago.

I found Lola out in the back, screaming.

She claimed a box of Shakespeare busts had fallen off a trolley and landed on her foot.

-[chuckles] -[Diana] Next thing we know she's on crutches and suing us for compensation.

No witnesses, I take it?

[Leon] Of course not.

[Lu] Twisted ankle ligaments.

The only thing twisted is that girl's morality.

So you want us to prove she was faking the injury?

Photos, videos.

You do whatever it takes.

Surveillance isn't cheap.

And neither are compensation payouts.

-Fair enough.

-The awful thing is the hearing's been brought forward.

It's now next week.

We will get on this right away.

Don't worry.

[Frank] I think you put a few too many noughts on there by mistake.

[laughs] Frank.

Yeah.

Just... [Lu sighs] [Lu] He seemed credible.

[Frank] My nan died in a car crash.

What if they lied to you?

That happens a lot in family.

I'm not related to that nutter.

Oh, hello.

So far, so convincing.

Now?

[sighs] This seat taken?

-Go ahead.

-Oh, thanks.

Do you mind if I...?

They're a right pain, those things, aren't they?

-Yeah, I'm sick of them.

-Yeah.

No, I broke my toe last year.

Fell down the stairs.

I was off my head.

It was totally my fault.

Twisted ligaments.

Oh, right.

-How?

-This box fell on my foot.

Oh, ouch.

[laughs] Was that at home?

Work.

Oh, well, I hope you get plenty of sympathy for it.

Not exactly.

No?

What do you mean?

Well, my bosses thought I was lying, which was nice.

-Didn't even get an apology.

-Oh, honestly.

The things employers get away with now, hey?

Hello, darling.

Small world.

Oh, I love the new look.

I'm Gloria, Lu's friend.

-Lola.

-We've only just met.

Really?

Okay if I join you?

No, I'm not staying.

What am I doing?

I've got Carlos coming-- oh, in 10 minutes.

My masseur.

Beautiful man, and surprisingly punctual for a Brazilian.

Nice to meet you.

See you soon, Lu.

-Bye.

-Bye.

-I should go, too.

-Oh, right.

Okay.

Yeah, as soon as we catch her out, Mr.

Tarsich, I will call you right away, okay?

I will.

Yeah, bye.

Bye.

That is the third time he's called already today.

It's from Sebastian.

"According to our contact at the credit check company, Lola Gower owes over 20,000 in payday loans."

Then she needs this compensation.

Well, if she's faking it, she's doing a decent job.

Oh, hello.

He looks pleased with himself.

[Frank] I don't believe it.

What?

That Yank.

He's stalking me.

[sighs] Weirdo.

All you need to do is find out the date your nan died.

Then if it's not July 4th, 1953, you're in the clear, aren't you?

[Frank] How am I going to do that with Mom and Dad gone?

Sounds like it's a job for Frank Hathaway.

Frank Hathaway already has a job.

Watching somebody watch telly.

Oh, it's going to be a long night.

[cell phone rings] Oh!

It's him again.

-Again?

-Again.

Hello, Mr.

Tarsich.

[Leon, on phone] Anything?

No, she's still in her flat, I'm afraid.

She hasn't left since lunchtime.

This is pointless.

Yeah, well, as I said before, Mr.

Tarsich, patience is the key.

You don't understand.

We're not insured.

Well, not with the right policy, anyway.

Oh.

I haven't told Diana, but if that girl wins, it could cripple us.

-[sighs] -I see.

It's my fault.

I was halfway through filling in the form, but then I had to go away for work.

[Lu] Right.

[gasps and giggles] Oh.

Double bacon, double egg, double ketchup for the vitamins.

Thank you.

No sign of life?

Mm.

I think we need to step up our coverage.

Let's see if the clients will stump up for a hidden camera.

Mm.

-For me?

-Yeah.

Hmm.

Is-- oh.

Cheers, Ajay.

[rattles door] [distant police siren] [camera clicks] [car doors close] [footsteps] Oh, look, it's the marshmallow twins.

-Hi, Frank.

-Hello.

Frank.

Ah, Christina.

Frank.

Didn't take you as the gift shop type.

Yeah, I ran out of Waterlily soap.

[chuckles and clears throat] Fraud claim involving an ex-member of staff.

I came to see my client.

Going to have to talk to the husband now.

And you can scratch her off the list, the girl we've been trailing.

Thanks.

And given it's a robbery gone wrong... Is it?

Back door forced.

Signs of a struggle.

Blow to the head with Arden's finest.

Till open and money gone.

What does that look like to you?

Yeah.

You see those pieces of glass?

Mm-hm.

[Frank] How did they get there?

Embedded themselves during the struggle.

Yeah, but they're not embedded, are they?

They've just been placed there.

When that glass fell on the victim, she was lying still, almost certainly dead.

Now, why would the killer add smashed glass after the murder?

Answer: to make it look like a robbery.

You might want to talk to someone called P. P?

Yeah, it's the person she texted at 7 minutes past 3:00 yesterday afternoon.

You tampered with the victim's phone?

I took a brief look, and I'm wearing a glove.

[phone beeps] [Marlowe] "We need to talk.

"Come and find me after closing.

"The cat's away.

Kiss, kiss."

The "cat" being the husband, Leon.

He's not back yet.

I'll call him if you like.

-Save you the trouble.

-Thanks.

I've got it from here, Frank.

Well, just keep an open mind.

Don't patronize me.

-I wasn't.

-Good.

You can get on with your fraud claim, then.

Okay.

Over here, guys.

It's like Luke Skywalker telling Yoda to sod off.

Yoda?

Really?

[knock on door, door opens] So it looks like the profits from the business all went to Diana, and Leon just got a monthly wage.

Not much of one, either.

[Frank] So she's skinning him for his cash and cuckolding him with this "P" character.

Leon Tarsich must be in the frame, right?

[Sebastian] Come through, Mr.

Tarsich.

We're very sorry for your loss.

I... I don't think I'll need... the Lola thing doesn't seem like such a... We understand entirely.

Don't we, Frank?

Of course.

Yeah.

-Thank you.

-[Frank] The... the local police are really stretched at the moment, so they've asked us to help track down Diana's killer.

I'm really sorry to have to ask this, but where were you yesterday?

I was in Manchester.

At a gift shop conference.

Came back this morning as soon as I heard the... And everything was all right at home, was it?

Yeah, it was good.

[Lu] Yeah?

Diana was happy?

Perfectly.

No suggestion of another man?

No.

Was there anything else?

No.

Thank you.

[Lu] Thank you.

We'll do everything we can to help.

Sebastian, find out if there was a gift shop conference in Manchester yesterday.

Fine.

By the way, did you notice his nails?

-They were perfect.

-[door opens] -[door closes] -Frank.

Now you're a businessman first and foremost.

-I respect that.

-Yeah, goodbye.

You find out the date your grandma died, I'll double it.

Frank.

Giving Marlowe a free Jedi lesson isn't going to pay the bills.

[sighs] -[Frank] Anything?

-[Sebastian] Mm-mm.

What?

There's nothing anywhere about my nana's death online?

Nope.

-Was she buried?

-Yes.

Well, then the date will be on the gravestone.

I'll have to find the cemetery first.

Yeah, but you're Mr.

Family History, aren't you?

All I know is it's in a village somewhere in the Cotswolds.

The Cotswolds?

Yeah, my granddad travelled south with work.

I mean, I went there once, but I was about 11.

[sighs] Gonna have to resort to using a Ouija board at this rate.

I need another drink.

What's that?

[Frank] Looks like blood.

Hey... If we could get Forrest Gump Sr.

done for something, we could be off the hook.

I'm going to send one of these to my mate Freddie at Forensics.

Ooh.

What is it?

Email from the Golden Horizons Gift Shop Conference in Manchester.

Apparently, Leon Tarsich registered yesterday morning, and guess what?

Afternoon and evening, never showed up.

Well, I was there.

Did you talk to anyone?

Well, not really.

Look, I've already been through all this with the police.

Now, we appreciate that, Mr., uh, Tarshah... -Sich.

-...ich.

[Lu] I notice from your bank statements that you've been making regular payments to "Bar MM" on the second Friday of every month.

The police let you see my bank statements?

You wouldn't believe how much they trust us.

Well, that's the Mucky Mallard.

I go there with a couple of mates.

Hey, I go there every Friday.

Yeah, I thought I recognized you.

Can I use your bathroom?

Yeah, it's just on the right past the bedroom.

So, then, Diana's money?

Must be quite a whack of it.

Does that come to you, is it?

I haven't even thought about it.

Of course, sorry, I didn't mean to... He's never been in the Mucky Mallard on a Friday night, I can tell you that much.

[Lu] And they had separate bedrooms.

[Frank] So, problems in the sack, wife playing away, a clear financial motive, and an alibi that stinks.

[laughs] Yeah, I'm with them now, Mr.

Tarsich.

I'll call you back.

Misrepresentation is a criminal offense, Frank.

So's murder.

-Stop harassing him.

-Only if you promise to start.

I don't know why you're wasting your time.

He couldn't have killed his wife anyway.

-Why not?

-He was on the phone to you.

Based on smashed clocks at the scene, an aborted 999 call on the victim's phone and the pathology report, we're sure that the attack took place at exactly 11 minutes past 7:00.

-[Frank] Well?

-[Lu] Yeah.

Leon was in the middle of one of his five-minute rants with me.

Making a business call while committing a violent murder.

That's some serious multitasking.

I got a phone call from Forensics.

You know the blood you found on those bank notes?

-Yeah?

-It belongs to Diana.

-What?

-So the question is, where did you get the cash from?

[cell door opens] [Marlowe] Mr.

Mariner.

Frank!

Are you two really related?

-Yes.

-No.

-You've got five minutes.

-Thank you.

Frank, you got to help me.

They're saying I murdered some woman.

[sighs] I take it you didn't kill her?

No!

Where'd you get the money?

[sighs] From a guy.

I met him outside a pawnbroker's.

What pawnbroker's?

It was called Cash Changers, something like that.

What?

Quid Converters?

That's it.

What were you doing there?

I was selling my parents' jewellery.

Why?

So I could hire you.

This guy said that he would pay double whatever I was offered inside.

And he did.

And that's the money you gave us?

Mmm.

Right.

Listen, Martin.

I need you to describe this man to me.

A lizard tattoo on the side of his neck.

It's a start.

You seem pretty keen to get Martin off the charge.

Well, I just-- I don't think he's guilty.

Is that it?

Yes, that's it.

It's got nothing to do with the fact he's my long-lost uncle.

[laughs] Methinks he doth protest too much.

[Sebastian clears throat] Mr.

Tarsich.

He's brought your money.

You can count it.

Ah, don't worry.

My solicitor called.

Lola's dropping the compensation claim.

On compassionate grounds.

-That must be a relief.

-Yeah.

Oh, and I'm sorry for dropping you in it earlier.

Ah, no hard feelings.

You want to help, and I appreciate that.

Are you getting anywhere?

You don't know of any of your customers or suppliers who might have, like, a lizard tattoo on the neck, do you?

Lizard?

No, I don't.

Sorry.

Phil has got a tattoo.

I'm not sure what it's of, though.

Phil?

Yeah, Phil Layman.

Lola's boyfriend.

Thanks.

I'm on my tea break, mate.

Turning down work, Phil?

You must be doing all right.

Hey, nice tattoo.

Unusual.

You what?

Do I know you?

[Frank] No, but you know my uncle.

-[Phil] Oh, yeah?

-[Frank] Yeah.

You bought some jewellery off him outside Quid Converters.

Big American fella.

Cheesy sod.

No, don't know nothing about it.

It's all right, Phil.

Don't worry about it.

I'm here to buy it back.

Family heirloom, you see.

Yeah, my uncle, he's a few hot dogs short of a stand, if you know what I mean.

[Frank laughs] Come on, how much do you want for it?

Hey, as I said, I don't know nothing about it.

[Frank] I hear Lola's dropped the claim.

-Do you work out?

-You... -Who are you?

-[Frank] Who am I?

That's a fundamental question.

Who is anyone?

Who are you?

[grunts] [Phil] Tell me who sent you, or I'll break your arm in two.

[Frank] You've got a temper on you.

-[bone cracks] -Ow!

[groaning] Oh, you brute.

I'm a copper.

Of course you are.

Try me.

[groaning] Cheers, Phil.

Don't point at me.

[car door closes] [engine starts] [grunts] So, now you know how Martin felt.

Thanks for the sympathy.

[groans] Well?

Found this in the glove compartment.

Ah.

Classic burner.

We've found our "P."

Yeah.

[Marlowe] We located a couple of bank notes with blood on them in his flat, and we also found him on CCTV in the vicinity of the gift shop at the time of the murder.

And he's got previous for robbery.

How do you know that?

Because some people in here still rate me.

Never knew you were so sensitive.

So Diana gets Phil over to tell him she's ending the affair.

He takes it badly, whacks her on the head with a big fossil.

And then he staged a robbery.

Go on then, say it.

I'm not sure it was Phil who killed her.

What?

Well, according to the phone, Diana wasn't his only bit on the side.

Okay.

So?

So why would her ending it make him so angry?

Frank, I'm out.

[groans] [whispering] He's a big fan of yours.

He can't wait to get back to your search.

Well, every silver lining has a cloud.

[laughs] Ah, ah.

Come on, walk.

[Frank sighs] [Gloria] It was when Lu gave me that look.

[laughs] That was the moment I realized I'd walked into a secret undercover operation, and I nearly had a heart attack.

Well, Lu says you covered it like Dame Judi herself.

I wasn't that good.

One of my regulars, that is.

[Sebastian] What, the murderer?

[Gloria] No.

The husband.

I didn't know his real name.

Poor bloke.

Well, what name did he use with you?

Linda.

Linda?

[Frank] How many more parishes to check?

Uh... 103.

[cell phone rings] Oh.

I've got to take this.

I'll meet you outside.

-Yes?

-Having fun?

-No.

-Family, eh?

Well, I've worked out where Leon Tarsich really spent those Friday nights.

Well, go on.

The Moody Mule.

You're joking.

Which rather begs the question, did the wife know?

Hang on.

-It's Friday today.

-Exactly.

Second of the month.

-[indistinct chattering] -[jazzy music playing] ♪ The poet speaks But no one listens ♪ Hi.

I'm Adele.

Linda.

Can I get another one, Gina, please?

-Okay.

-You celebrating?

Or drowning your sorrows?

Bit of a week.

Death in the family.

No.

Oh, that's awful.

I'm so sorry.

I lost my dog recently.

Were you very close?

Yeah.

And no.

Thank you.

It was my wife.

Oh, my gosh.

Had she been ill?

Yeah.

Even so.

Poor you.

Part of me feels relieved.

Well, if she'd been ill for a long time... It's not that.

She couldn't accept this.

No?

Found out a few months back.

Two weeks later, she started sleeping with an employee's boyfriend.

Unbelievable.

That's not the worst of it, though.

[Sebastian] Oh.

From cigarettes?

She burned you?

So, Diana was physically abusing Leon because he wasn't the man she thought she married.

And he knew about her affair.

I'd have been out of there like a shot.

He had no money, though.

Yeah, he's got plenty now, hasn't he?

So that's a double motive for murder.

Revenge and cash.

Plus a lack of alibi.

Except we know he didn't do it, because when Diana was killed, he was on the phone to me.

-We've missed something.

-What?

I don't know, but we've got to find it.

I'll speak to you later.

[phone beeps off] So, was he impressed with my handiwork?

Yes.

Very.

He's... yeah.

He didn't say anything, did he?

That's all right.

I only do this job for the lavish salary.

-[cell phone rings] -Oh.

Lola's curtains.

Sorry, what?

Who has a night in by the telly with the curtains wide open?

Maybe she's claustrophobic.

Maybe she wanted to be seen.

By who?

I haven't got that far.

I'll see you later.

Perhaps she's an exhibitionist.

Well, it wasn't much of a show.

All she did was get up a couple of times to get the remote.

What if we were the audience?

[sighs] It's all right.

I trust you.

Oh, thanks, Frank.

What do they call this place?

Oh, uh... Risley Cross.

I've been here before.

-Gloria.

-Oh!

Oh, sorry.

Leon Tarsich, he hired woman's clothes from you, is that right?

All the time.

Dresses.

Hats.

Shoes.

-Wigs?

-Of course.

He borrowed one last week.

Which one?

Oh... [sighs] Did he ask specifically for long, blonde hair?

Oh, he insisted.

But to be honest, I was quite surprised when he chose this old thing.

Ooh.

[knocks] [Frank] Miss Whetton?

Yes?

We were told that you were the church warden.

Yes, that's right.

Morning, Vicar.

Morning, Miss Whetton.

I wonder if you could help.

We're trying to find out whether a relation of mine is buried here in the village.

Might we have a look at the parish burial records?

Ah, well, the register actually is held at Hardleton.

It's the next village.

Ah.

But there's only one graveyard here in this village.

It's behind the church there.

Great, well, we'll take a look.

Thank you.

Right.

Well, I... I might remember them.

[chuckles] I've lived all my life in this village.

And my father was vicar of that church.

Great.

Well, we're looking for my grandmother.

She was called Elizabeth Hathaway.

Died in 1953.

Yeah, we think she might be my mother.

Ah.

The name's... it's not ringing any bells.

Sorry.

Good luck, though.

She knew her.

Feel familiar, Frank?

I'd be lying if I said yes.

Found her.

Really?

Ooh.

Does it say when she died?

It does, yeah.

[Martin] February 11th... 1952.

[Frank] Year before you were born.

[sighs] It's not her.

You find what you're looking for?

We did, unfortunately.

Well, here-- here's a little something for your journey.

Oh, gosh.

Thank you, ma'am.

You... you knew my grandmother, didn't you?

She was a friend of mine.

Why didn't you tell us?

It's better... I left something on... on the st-- on the stove.

What a kind lady.

[door closes] All right, Bab.

Here to read your gas meter.

Are you?

Sure, come in.

The meter's in there.

Oh, ta.

Won't be a minute.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm so sorry.

I was just seeing who made your armchair.

I really like it, see.

It's exactly what I've been looking for.

-Get out.

-Definitely.

You're lucky I don't report you.

It really is a lovely chair.

-Ta-da.

-[gasps] [Lu] They're definitely fake.

So he was in there.

You're a genius, Lu.

See, Phil Layman may be a thief, but he's not a murderer.

Lola.

[Lu] Oh, well, there's a miraculous recovery.

[Sebastian] She knows we're onto her.

Right.

Let's see who she runs to.

There you go.

A cup of builders works wonders in these situations.

Thanks, Frank.

So, what now?

I'm going to get the first flight back to the States.

What, you're giving up?

Well, like you say, there's a lot of Elizabeth Hathaways, and I'm out of cash.

So I can't exactly afford to hire you to help me now, can I?

Well, never mind.

You gave it your best shot.

I have got the strongest of feelings that I know that woman Theresa.

[sighs] Yeah, but to be fair, you swore blind I was your nephew.

That's true.

You're a nice fella, but your hunches are rubbish.

It's a fair cop, governor.

-[laughs] -[cell phone rings] Oh.

Did Sebastian get in the flat?

He did, and found hairs from Leon's wig under Lola's armchair.

You're kidding.

Nice one.

-Does she suspect anything?

-She's on her bike.

Literally.

Just pulled into Ridgemead car park.

I'm on my way.

-Any chance of a lift?

-Sure.

[camera shutters clicking] For services rendered.

Well, that's her debts paid.

[car engine starts] Glad to see you back on your feet, Lola.

-Can you move your car, please?

-I don't think DI Marlowe would thank her.

[Lu] And she is on her way.

What's all this about?

This is about you two murdering Diana, and then framing Phil.

What?

I know you both hated Diana.

Maybe with good reason.

You definitely needed the cash.

So the two of you came up with the perfect murder.

Well, nearly.

Have you seen my phone?

I had it here.

I'm sure of it.

It'll turn up, darling.

Always does.

[Lu] First you cooked up Lola's fake compensation claim.

Made the two of you look like enemies.

Next, you convinced Diana to hire us.

You'd worked out that private investigators would give you the perfect alibi.

Then, the day of the murder, you got hold of Diana's phone.

[phone chimes] You set the trap.

[woman, on TV] There was no where to go from that, then... [indistinct chatter over TV] [paper money rustling] [phone line rings] [Lu, over phone] Yeah, well, as I said before, Mr.

Tarsich, patience is the key.

[Leon] You don't understand.

We're not insured.

Well, not with the right policy, anyway.

A few minutes later, you returned to your flat and swapped places again.

Meanwhile, Phil arrived at Arden Dreams, straight into the trap that you'd set him.

Instead of reporting the crime, he took the money.

Just as you'd hoped.

Which meant that when you led us to Phil, all the evidence was laid out to make it look like he was the killer.

Your partners certainly chose the wrong people to cheat on.

[police sirens blare distantly] Should leave you on your own more often.

-If you insist.

-Go on then, Frank.

Rub it in.

Yoda, you are.

[all laugh] You're a great copper, Christina.

I'm hardly in a position to gloat, am I?

I didn't spot it.

Thanks, Frank.

See you later.

Ah, hanging out with Martin's made you go all soft.

Nah, don't be daft.

Don't condone murder, obviously.

But I do feel a teeny bit sorry for Leon.

I mean, just hiding his cross-dressing from his wife for all that time, it must have been agony.

Yeah.

It's amazing what people put up with just to keep a secret.

[Frank] We're looking for my grandmother.

She was called Elizabeth Hathaway.

She died in 1953.

[Martin] Yeah.

We think she may be my mother.

[Theresa] Here's a little something for your journey.

Oh, gosh.

Thank you, ma'am.

[laughs] The vicar's daughter.

-[Lu] What?

-We need to get to the airport.

Got to stop Martin.

Come on, get in.

-No, after you.

-After you.

Just get in.

[knocks] [sighs] What is it?

I understand why you tried to hide it.

I mean, your father had a reputation to protect.

[gasps softly] I don't... I-- I don't know what... what you're talking about.

[Frank] Theresa.

It's been 65 years.

Don't you think it's time you admitted the truth?

[sobs] Mama?

Yes.

[cries] [Frank] It was the 1950s.

If people found out that Theresa got pregnant out of wedlock, there'd have been a massive scandal.

Especially with her dad being the local rev.

She was sent away to have Martin.

Her dad bribed a registrar to put another woman's name on the birth certificate.

Theresa suggested her recently departed best friend, my nana.

Do you know what's great about all this, is that you can find out from Theresa everything you didn't know about your gran.

I've already found out everything I need to know.

Apparently, my nana was a superb dancer.

Which, of course, where I get my innate sense of... [grunts] ...rhythm.

[laughs] Cheers.

[Lu laughs]