(bright upbeat music) >>Welcome to A World of Difference: Embracing Neurodiversity.

I'm Darryl Owens.

Since the days of Cain and Abel, parents have navigated the complexities of sibling dynamics.

While most family relationships aren't as dramatic as those in Eden, raising both neurotypical and neurodivergent children comes with its own unique challenges.

Balancing attention, support, and understanding is no easy task, but it's essential to ensure that every child feels seen, heard, and valued.

So how can parents provide neurotypical siblings with the space and support they need while celebrating and championing their neurodivergent child's differences?

In this episode, we'll visit a New Jersey family navigating the joys and challenges of raising both neurotypical and neurodivergent children.

Next, our expert national panel will share practical strategies for fostering connection, understanding, and resilience within the family.

And, you'll meet our latest difference maker, a mother whose son struggled with reading led her to create Clever Noodle, a game changing approach to helping dyslexic children become confident readers.

But first, we traveled to New Jersey to meet Sarah Kernion, who opens up about her journey raising both neurodivergent and neurotypical children, sharing her experiences, insights, and what she wishes more people understood.

(upbeat music) >>What do you think he saw?

(Sarah gasps) >>His belly button.

>>And he kept on singing his song.

♪ My button, my button ♪ Still have my belly button ♪ My button.

>>One.

Zero.

One zero.

>>His belly button!

And he kept on- Non-speaking autism is just one part of who Millie and Mack are.

Millie is and has been a bulldog of a personality since she was little.

♪ One groovy button, my button, my button ♪ ♪ My one groovy button Millie, you meet her where she's at, it is singing, it is songs, it is repetition of books that she loves.

But Mack is like a whirling dervish little boy of sled dog energy.

Mack loves roughhousing, and playing, and giggling, and being on the bed and like that sensory input that makes him feel really good.

I can't see you.

Peek-a-boo!

(bright music) >>Yup, yup, yuppy, yuppy!

>>Yuppy, yuppy, yup.

You wanna jump on the bed?

You wanna jump?

That diagnoses, in the moment of it, because it happened not once, but twice for me, it feels like the wind's knocked out of you because you don't believe it to be true because of the stories we tell ourselves about what we're supposed to have in life.

And so now I look back and think about how it was a reset button on life for me.

But in the moment it was like being sucker punched and just the wind taken outta me.

Come on, go, go, go.

Lucy, come.

Let's go for a walk.

Put your shoes on, go for a walk, okay?

I have such vivid memories of wondering why my child was not being celebrated for their development.

When you fill out paperwork and early intervention, you know, when your child's a zero or a one out of 10 of a milestone, this word, it just hits you over and over again.

And you don't really realize that that word is so part of your daily vernacular as a parent until your child starts missing them.

Want another bite?

Why wouldn't pressing down on Play-Doh be celebrated for my child who's not gonna develop typically?

And I just thought, how do I break this milestone down?

And I was like, inch stones.

We have got to celebrate the inch stones of any child's development, however they are going to be, and to lead them to become the best version of who they are.

(kids laughs) Mack, oh.

Mack, is that so silly?

I know that my typical child does feel jealous or annoyed that her siblings take up a lot of my care taking time, and I will never take that away from her.

And I think acknowledging it allows for it to be a safe place to land, and so she can continue to talk to me about those big feelings.

So having time to brush her hair, do the braid in her hair for her, ask her if she wants any extra snacks in her lunch, fill up her water bottle.

While my caretaking for her younger siblings is so immense, I still really love taking care of her too.

It's also knowing that I don't react.

It's safe for her to talk about those really scary, really big emotions.

Like I'm really annoyed that Millie or Mack can't clean up after themselves.

Acknowledging that and be like, yeah, that's really hard.

That sucks.

And so it's sort of like acknowledging the frustration but moving through it together.

Milli and Mack, while they don't verbally speak, their receptive language is 100%.

And I assume competence in their reception of language, and I know that that's absorbed to my typical child.

I hear her sounding like me.

I hear her utilizing a positive tone.

And I know that that can't be easy for an 11-year-old girl to do, but I'm so proud of who she's becoming because of it.

There is so much room for- It's this?

>>Yeah.

>>Even the smallest of moments, which again goes into that inch stones mentality.

Those moments while fleeting are so indicative of, I think the safe space that I hope to provide as her mom.

>>Wait, can I start?

>>Yes.

>>Look at all the colors.

I'm gonna get like- >>Can we do a pedicure on me later.

>>Yeah, can I please?

>>You can do a pedicure.

>>You don't have to use the LED light.

You can just use this.

>>That's fine.

I think there's a lot of fear around doing the right thing.

We've been waiting.

Now Mel.

>>That the outside world has to accommodate and support these autistic kids, and it's like annoying.

Or they don't know where to start 'cause it seems daunting.

And I guess I'd like to share that it's not as difficult to connect and bond with a special needs child or an autistic child as you think.

And I want to give everyone a collective deep breath on this.

Like you're not gonna do the wrong thing at all.

Because just by acknowledging their existence and trying to create a connection with these kids goes so far.

♪ You can go to bed Woo, careful.

(bright music) >>Next, our national expert panel will offer practical advice for parents and caregivers on fostering positive sibling relationships, addressing challenges and making sure every child feels valued.

(upbeat music) Dr. Hokehe Eko is an integrative pediatrician and ADHD autism expert empowering families of neurodivergent children.

Through her virtual practice, Glow Pediatrics, she provides nationwide autism/ADHD evaluations and holistic care.

A fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics and TEDx speaker, Dr. Eko has been featured in Black Enterprise, Business Insider, and more.

She hosts a Brain Power with Dr. Eko podcast and speaks at conferences on brain health strategies for autism and ADHD.

Dr. Erica Kalkut, a board certified clinical neuropsychologist, leads psychological and neuropsychological testing at Life Stance Health as executive clinical director.

She specializes in evaluating children and adolescents facing developmental, learning, and emotional difficulties, including those with medical, neurological, and genetic conditions.

Trained at Loyola University Chicago, Rush University Medical, and a Medical College of Wisconsin, Dr. Kalkut's research explores the interplay between neurological factors in development, cognition, and mental health.

At Life Stance, she's committed to improving access to testing services and fostering collaborative care.

Dr. Nancy Wood is a leading expert in neurodiversity in human services, focusing on creating inclusive environments for individuals with learning differences.

As an assistant professor at Beacon College, the nation's first college dedicated to students with learning disabilities and ADHD, she brings her expertise directly to the classroom.

Dr. Wood holds a PhD in human services with a concentration in healthcare administration.

Her research and publications explore mental health advocacy and innovative approaches to supporting neurodiverse populations including the therapeutic applications of animal-assisted interventions.

And we're gonna start our conversation with Dr. Eko.

So Dr. Eko, what are some of the common emotional challenges that neurotypical children who are siblings of neurodivergent children encounter?

>>So a lot of neurotypical siblings often feel isolated from their peers because they may not have the same experiences that at home with having a sibling that's neurodiverse.

In addition to that, they do have a lot of resentment and jealousy because of the perceived increased attention their neurodiverse sibling may have.

They often feel guilt that they have less challenges than their neurodiverse sibling, and also they have a sense of pressure or responsibility for the wellbeing of their neurodiverse sibling more than they should.

And so parents can address this with open communication and intentionally making the neurotypical sibling feel heard, feel valued, and feel seen.

>>Alright, thank you.

So Dr. Kalkut, let's drill down a little bit on what Dr. Eko was saying.

How can parents create a safe space for neurotypical children to express these complex emotions and feelings?

>>In a home environment that often doesn't feel normal or typical, it's important for parents to realize that a range of emotions and complex thoughts is completely normal for all siblings.

And that, you know, that as the parent, it's important to think about accepting any thoughts or feelings that your child might have or that they might show.

Some of these emotions might be modeled behaviors from the sibling, or they might just be normal, you know, range of thoughts or feelings that the child is feeling as they're learning how to develop their own self-regulation.

Last, important to set time aside.

You know, even five minutes a day to allow your child to express emotions and to talk about their thoughts and what's on their mind can really help to create that safe space for them to express how they feel.

>>So Dr. Wood, neurodivergence is a complicated concept for even adults to comprehend.

So how can parents create or deliver understanding about neurodivergence in age appropriate ways to their children?

>>Sure, through simple and concrete language, by providing those discussions, comparing and contrasting just in our everyday differences of hair color, eye color, height.

What about sports?

Being able to do artistic endeavors.

Again, providing those specific examples can bring that awareness to the sibling, that whether you're neurotypical or neurodiverse, we all have our differences.

Further, providing examples of empathy and understanding to those differences, and that to provide that, again, that conversation as discussed, the open communication of how those differences make us unique and what's our strengths.

What do we bring to the table of our uniqueness?

>>Alright, thank you.

So Dr. Eko, getting to the heart of the matter here, the fact of the matter is that a neurodivergent child, most likely is gonna require more time and attention from the parents than a neurotypical child.

But as a parent, you have to walk that tightrope of providing balance so that neither child is neglected.

Can you provide us some practical tips for doing that?

>>Yes, that's so important.

And like Dr. Wood just mentioned a minute ago, even five minutes.

I mean, the key here is quality over quantity, right?

Take, and it's been intentional.

That's the key.

So taking five minutes, going into your child's room, spending time inviting them to cook with you in the kitchen, you know, pouring into them with fully focused attention.

I often remind parents to put the phones down, right, and talk to your kids, look them in the eye, and ask them open-ended questions like, what was the best part of your day, instead of how was your day?

Which you often get the answer of "fine" too, right?

And so it's, it's so important for parents to take that time and pour into the children.

And also even creating activities, right, that both children can enjoy together, that often strengthens that bond between the neurotypical and the neurodiverse child.

And yes, it may take a little thinking outside of the box, but that's why we are parents, right?

So as long as we're intentional about doing that, then you will start to see the bond between those two siblings improve.

>>Alright, so Dr. Kalkut, I know parents may not be trying to do this, but often unintentionally the neurotypical child ends up becoming kind of a parent to the neurodivergent child.

How can parents avoid putting this responsibility on their neurodivergent, I mean, neurotypical child?

>>Well, you're right that many parents of neurodivergent children don't, you know, intentionally place that extra burden or responsibility on their neurotypical children.

But it does happen.

We know from studies that neurotypical children of neurodivergent siblings do grow up faster.

They feel more responsibility, that they have additional pressures or stress that their peers often don't have.

So important for parents to really recognize when an imbalance is happening.

You know, know that it's likely going to happen, and reflect on the day and think, gee, you know, where did my neurotypical child spend their time that day?

Is there imbalance?

And once you can recognize if that imbalance is there or where it happens, then you seek to balance and ensure that they have what we call free days, or free time.

Might even be an hour.

Could even be as short as 10 minutes where they really are directly told, you know, that you don't have responsibility during this time.

You may choose the activity that you would like to engage in.

And I recognize and see you to know that you have additional responsibility because of our home life.

And as your parent, I really want to ensure that you have that time to yourself, and that as a parent, I'm gonna work hard to strike that balance in your day.

>>Dr.

Wood, are there any potential long-term implications for a neurotypical child who doesn't receive the attention and support for dealing with this dynamic in their home?

>>Unfortunately, there is.

The research shows that a neurotypical child may experience further anxiety and stress, as well as perhaps depression.

And that will extend into their adulthood.

With, as my colleagues mentioned, that concern of, I'm taking care of my neurodivergent sibling now.

How will that look like as I become an adult?

So as well as it could also impact their, not only their mental and physical health, but perhaps their financial health and making those decisions of how do I, my job outlook might be, how might I save for my own future, family planning?

So it's the sooner that there's that early intervention, as a family with parents, the better the outcomes and also the opportunity to mitigate those possible long-term effects.

>>Dr.

Eko, I wanted to circle back on something you were talking about a little earlier.

How can parents intentionally help their neurotypical child and their neurodivergent child foster better relationships despite whatever differences they may have in socializing and so forth?

>>Yes, that's a really important question.

A key, again, is being intentional, right, and studying your children.

I like to tell parents to become detectives of their children and seeing what activities that you can create that both children will enjoy.

And it's important to point out the strength of each child to each of the children, right?

Because every single child has strengths, and things that they're great at, and gifts.

And so if we don't intentionally point it out, often it's lost in translation.

And that goes for both neurodiverse and neurotypical children.

And again, I like to encourage parents to strengthen the bonds of the siblings, right?

It's important to specifically praise what each child does.

So for example, instead of saying great job, you might say, I like the way you took care of your brother.

And so that way children are more likely to want to repeat the behavior that they specifically are praised for.

(upbeat music) >>Watch the full Ask the Experts segment on our website at awodtv.org if you wanna learn more about this topic.

You can also watch or listen on Facebook, YouTube, or on your favorite podcasting platform.

(upbeat music) Next, let's meet our latest difference maker.

When Jacquelyn Davis's son Madden struggled with reading during the COVID-19 pandemic, out of necessity, this mother invented a solution, a longtime educator, Davis turned learning into play, crafting reading games that her son finds fun with phonics and more.

From that breakthrough, Clever Noodle was born, a company using the science of reading to develop products that help kids like her son build confidence and skills and transform reading education.

By turning learning into play, Davis and Clever Noodle are transforming the way kids experience reading one game at a time.

(upbeat music) >>When COVID hit and all kids in America got sent home to learn, I quickly discovered that our amazing first grade child was really struggling to read.

He was really far behind, he wasn't learning, and he felt really bad, and he didn't want to do anything that looked like reading.

The most heartbreaking moment was when he said, "Mommy, I'm not gonna go to college, and I don't want you to be disappointed, but I'm not smart.

I'm dumb, and I can't read, and I'm never going to college."

Of course, I didn't let him see me cry, but I left the room and I cried.

And I thought, what am I gonna do to reach him?

How am I gonna get him to start wanting to read?

How do I get access?

And I thought about it for a long time that night, and I realized, we're a game family.

We love board games, and so why don't I just take board games and convert them into reading games?

And so that's how it started.

I launched Clever Noodle, a learn to read game company for children.

>>Sugar.

S-U-G-A.

We started with games like this where we went to the pizza, we were kangaroos, we were dogs, we tried to get somewhere, and you know, we just took some cards, we read the words out, and it was pretty fun.

It wasn't reading to me, it was playing a game.

You know, I was two years behind, and now I'm on grade level.

So you know, you can do it.

It's possible.

>>And this was our first game that we launched.

It is now an over 11,000 homes and classrooms, and it's won a bunch of awards.

So it won the Moms Choice Award.

It's won a Spark Education Award.

So we're really, really proud of it, but we're most excited to see how much kids love playing and how much impact it has on them, how it gets them engaged, and learning, and accelerating their reading.

>>It's a fun way to learn to read because you can read in different ways, like writing on the table, skywriting.

You can do it with your tail, your imaginary tail, and it's really fun.

>>Now, you can either play together, which I love so much.

You can play together against a mean raccoon, or you can play against each other if you want.

>>But you pick a card, and if everything's in black in the letters, that's telling you that this is a regular word, and the letters are gonna make the sounds you expect.

So you would sound it out.

Came, came.

And then you're gonna use your multisensory action.

So there are nine multisensory actions.

This is one of them.

You're gonna write this word with your nose.

C-A-M-E Came.

So that was my multisensory action.

And we know from research that multisensory actions help children store words and reading into their long-term memory faster.

And then this May, we launched Popped, which is our new game.

Popped, the reading game starring Balloon Dog.

And it's a collaboration with world renowned artist Jeff Koons.

So it was so much fun working with him, so much fun to make the game.

And we're seeing huge impact with children.

But we teach all 22 initial blends, we teach the 17 final blends, and we teach an entirely different cutting edge way of how children blend, which is called continuous blending.

And it accelerates reading for all children, but is particularly important for children that are struggling readers or dyslexic children because it helps them blend in a way that is gonna really accelerate their work and how you blend the sounds together.

>>This is the, oh no, it's popped.

You gotta put your cards back.

And then, you know, of course you have to have a score where you take three cards, which you know, all the kids love this.

>>Good.

Now sound the whole thing.

Baaaad.

Nice.

Do you wanna go again?

All right pull the picture.

(instructor gasps) (group cheering) >>Great things is in a classroom.

You can have kids at different levels and you can be using level one, or you can be using level three.

It depends on where the kid is.

And so you can have a set of kids playing together, but at different levels.

You can have a family playing together.

You can have the big sister who's 10, and the little sister who's five, and they can play together at different levels.

>>I think it's amazing that we can do this for other children.

And you know, it's not just a game for people that have dyslexia.

It's a game for all people.

Even if you don't like the reading side, there's a game side.

You know, it just, it's fun, you know?

And that's what I really like about it.

I like the journey behind it.

You know, how much we've, you know, educated people, you know, how many houses we've reached, how many lives we've changed.

>>You know, we're really at the end of the day, a mission oriented company.

So much so that we launched a charitable organization as well.

So we have Clever Noodle the Company and Clever Noodle the Charitable Fund.

So we make sure that 30% of all the games that we make go to schools and teachers that serve low income children because we want to make sure this is equitable.

We want everyone to have access to high quality games that are gonna catapult and boost their rating.

(upbeat music) >>Congratulations Jacquelyn Davis for making a difference.

And that does it for this episode of A World of Difference Embracing Neurodiversity.

I'm Darryl Owens.

See you next time.

You can watch episodes of D World of Difference on the Beacon College Facebook and YouTube channels, and on the show's website, awodtv.org.

The website also provides tip sheets and other resources for your parenting journey.

You can watch the show from the PBS app available on your favorite streaming device, and you can listen on your favorite podcasting platform.

Thank you for watching and supporting A World of Difference.

(upbeat music) (inspirational music)