(upbeat music) - [Will] This week on "Wild Travels," we'll spend an entire episode chronicling the annual Kinetic Sculpture Race in Baltimore, an outrageously challenging competition among two dozen human-powered amphibious, all-terrain mobile works of art, slogging through a 15 mile course of city streets, mud, sand, and Baltimore's inner harbor, as they vie to be the Grand Mediocre Champion.

Oh yeah, and it rained, a lot.

(rain pattering) (crowd cheering) - [Announcer] "Wild Travels" is made possible in part by Alaska Railroad, providing year-round transportation to many Alaska destinations, traversing nearly 500 miles of wild landscapes between Anchorage, Fairbanks, Denali National Park, and more, AlaskaRailroad.com.

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(upbeat music) - [Will] If you look hard enough, go off the beaten track far enough, you'll find an America teeming with the unusual, the odd, the downright strange.

I'm Will Clinger and I'm your guide on a package tour we like to call "Wild Travels."

(upbeat music continues) (canon fire banging) (upbeat music continues) (lively upbeat music) Every year, the city of Baltimore and the American Visionary Art Museum play host to a cadre of crazy dreamers and their crazier contraptions.

They will take part in an event that demands a combination of engineering skill, artistic creativity, and sheer physical endurance.

There isn't anything else in the world quite like the Kinetic Sculpture Race.

- I think this is our 22nd year, but I'm not sure.

- How many entries are there this year?

- [George] I believe there's 24.

How we expect these people to move these units around town, it's beyond me.

- [Will] And some of them are massive.

- [George] Huge.

- [Will] Michael, this is your entry.

- That's right, Soda Quackers, yep, is the group's name.

- [Will] How many team members this year?

- [Michael] 17 this year.

- We have a lot of people, but this thing is horrible to pedal.

It's absolute misery.

- [Will] And you gotta go up some hills.

- [Participant] That's what this is for, for everybody to push us.

- [Will] That helps.

A lot of moving parts to this thing.

- Father Tempi will go up on top there, that big statue up on there.

And the time wheel, you'll see, goes on the front.

- [Will] I'm pretty sure you're the only team with a hamster cage.

- It's a clock that's breaking into pieces that are becoming the scales of the stegosaurus.

As you can see, the stegosaurus are emerging from a black hole from a distant past.

- I didn't see that, but it's good to know.

- We're putting up the flapping butterflies and hoping that until we get it secured, it doesn't fall down and crash on our heads.

- The question is, will they still flap if they're soaking wet?

90% chance of rain tomorrow.

- Yeah, this year we opted perhaps in error to use a lot of lightweight paper - [Will] So they could just disintegrate, let's be honest.

- Butterflies are ephemeral.

- There's gonna be some challenges, not just the rain that we're probably gonna have, but you've gotta go through mud, sand, and of course water, you gotta be amphibious.

- [Participant] Yeah, floating in the inner harbor.

- Have you tested this out in water yet?

- Um.

- Are these flotation devices here?

- Correct.

Floats.

- Yep.

- Yep.

And we're heavier than we have been before, so before we were down about here when we floated.

I think we're about here now, so we'll just have to see what happens.

- [Participant] We have 40.

- 40 of those hanging off this thing.

- Yes.

- Don't you think that's gonna be a drag, you know, like a wind drag?

It's gonna slow you down.

- They'll just have to pedal faster.

- [Will] You know, we drove the course today.

It seems pretty darn long.

In fact, it's over 15 miles, traversed with human propulsion only.

No motors of any kind.

- It is long, it is really long, and especially- - What are your thoughts as you start off on the coarse?

Is it dread?

- No, at the beginning because there's still hope.

You know, all the bits are still on.

- Keep hope alive.

- Yes.

Nothing has fallen off.

And as the bits come off as we travel along, I get feeling a little bit more grim.

- I'm Pauline Savage.

- And you're a teacher where?

- At Jemicy Upper School in Owings Mills, Maryland.

- Which every year puts together some entries for this crazy race.

(groovy music) - We have an entire class built around designing vehicles for this race, so our students design and fabricate human-powered amphibious vehicles and they design their creations to be able to make it through the challenge of the entire race.

So it's 15 miles on land.

They have to go into the water at Canton.

We never water test.

And then they have to go through a sand and a mud pit.

- Now wait a minute, you never water test?

Are you a little nervous about that?

What if the darn thing sinks?

- We really care that our students are invested in their calculations.

- And you care that they swim.

- They're very good swimmers.

We've only been hydrocatastrophic a couple of times.

- Is that a real word?

Hydrocatastrophic.

- That is what the judges called us.

- This vehicle is called disco fever.

It's a '70s-themed vehicle.

- That's the disco ball.

- That's the big disco ball and it spins like a disco ball should spin.

- And you helped design this, right?

- Yes, I did design it.

- [Will] The front wheels aren't touching the ground.

- So the front wheels aren't touching the ground and this is an issue.

- Problem.

- Every now and then when we're driving it, it picks up and then we just completely lose our ability to turn.

- That seems like a negative.

- It is a negative.

Every vehicle has a sock monkey and that's just one of the- - it's a requirement.

- It's a requirement.

It's one of the fun pieces of the race.

This is a wacky, fun race.

- That is Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.

It's an '80s-themed vehicle.

- Me and some of my classmates designed this.

- [Will] Does this actually play anything?

- This will, I'm the one in charge of the playlist as well.

We got some great '80s music going.

We've got a 3D printed gear back there that's gonna fit right in with the little ridges here in the tire that's gonna keep it moving and it's only on once we get in the water.

These are glasses to bribe the judges.

We have to give 'em a little gift to make sure we can make it through the race so we're given some '80s glasses.

- These are very Max Headroom, aren't they?

- Yeah.

- Steam Punk.

- Yeah, it's entirely controlled by a chain drive for the steering.

So this turns the head tube, which turns these gears, which turns the wheels.

These are the bribes for the steampunk vehicle.

They're 3D printed pocket watches.

- Well, heck, that's a lot nicer than plastic glasses.

I don't know.

- Yeah.

- David Hess.

- Yes.

- Sort of the captain of the Platypus team, am I right?

- Yes.

It's an acronym.

It's a Personal Long-range, All-Terrain Yacht, Proven Unsafe.

- [Will] You've got a lot of signage.

- [David] That just keeps everybody informed what we're up to.

- [Will] It's very far out.

(fog horn rumbling) Is that what a platypus sounds like?

- Kind of.

It's like a big platypus, jumbo.

- Mature.

- Mature and also probably a little bit hangry.

- [Will] Hangry.

Do you have a goal for this year's race?

There's a lot of prizes you can potentially win.

- Our goal is just to be here again, yeah, sort of like show up.

- You've already achieved that.

You're here, right guys?

- [All] Yeah.

- [Will] What are some of the prizes you've won in the past?

- Well, you know, the most coveted award is the Grand East Coast Mediocre Championship.

- [Will] Which is finishing in the middle?

- That's right, yes, and we've won it three times, so we're very mediocre.

One year, actually, our float broke down a block after the starting line so we thought that we could maybe win the Golden Dinosaur Award for the worst engineering, but that year, sadly, somebody broke down before the starting line.

- [Will] That's hard to beat.

- We kind of skunked on that one.

And we thought that we might get the Golden Flipper, actually that year for the most exciting water entry.

As we were going into the water, we kind of lost control of our steering and we ran into the public address system.

Nobody was hospitalized.

I would just like to make that very clear.

- We've done two engineering awards, which is kind of nice.

We did a Costume award, that was the year we all dressed in diapers or pregnant nurses and so the judges felt pity on us I think on that score.

- The next morning, the racing sculptors made final preparations and did their best to pass the required safety check.

Race day weather conditions were, as predicted, not ideal.

- It's gonna be a beautiful day.

- Sure it is.

(upbeat music) (rain pattering) - Horn.

- Horn right there.

- Water in the back or?

- We have water on there.

- Okay.

- What's the name of this?

- This is Choronosaurus Rex.

- Should have figured.

- Yeah.

- It's a time-traveling dinosaur here to save dinosaurs from the asteroid impact.

This is Professor Choronosaurus and she's traveled 65 million years.

- [Will] How fast do you think this thing can get going?

- I think our top speed right now is 23 miles an hour going downhill.

- How about in the water?

- In the water, significantly slower than that.

- Have you tested it in the water?

- In theory.

- Safety helmet, check.

Sock creature, check.

- This is Tick Tock the Croc.

This is a fully-amphibious crocodile.

- [Will] Tick Tock is a perennial crowd favorite, more than 35 feet long, manned by six pilots, complete with motorized tail, an inflatable tongue, and lighted teeth.

- [Checker] First see it, warning triangle.

- The warning triangles are in the back.

- Yeah, I need to see warning triangles, life preservers.

- This is my big lady.

We're starting out as Marie Antoinette and then we're gonna move on to be a nice future lady.

- [Will] So you transform during the course of the race.

- That's right, yeah.

- [Will] I guess that's kinetic.

- Yeah, that's kinetic.

(laughing) - He's up there, good old Uncle Tempi.

I hope he just stays up there and behaves himself.

(whistle chirping) - What if he flies right off?

What do you do then?

- Then we just, I don't know, what do we do?

- [Will] Spoiler alert.

They would have to figure that out.

- [Participant] So that's a dime and now he's gong to stop on it.

- You need to stop on the dime.

You don't wanna slow down and hit the vehicle in front of you, right?

- What happens if they can't stop on a dime?

What do you do then?

- Well, I think they fail the safety check then.

(upbeat music) - On a dime.

- We did the brake check.

25 feet of rope are in... Oh, there you go.

- There's all kinds of stuff.

- Will there be any kind of illegal substances on this platypus?

- We already took our medication.

- Your foundation buzz.

- Yeah, yeah, exactly.

We already took our stuff.

- Sobriety test and walking straight.

- There's a sobriety test?

- There's a sobriety test to make sure that everyone is fit and ready and safe to go.

- You should check out the Platypus people because I think they're pretty stoned.

- Well, they do it every year, we're really not concerned.

(upbeat music) (participant clapping) - I gotta tell you, I don't buy you as a sister for a minute.

- I'm the world's only one-day theologian.

I perform a go-go dance to a musical accompaniment while blessing the feet.

- [Will] I'm looking forward to that.

- It's fun.

- Quick exit plan.

Everyone who's gonna be on needs to get on and- - Get off.

- Get off in an easy and unobstructed manner.

Cool, you're passed.

- We passed.

- [Participant] I hereby announce that we're going to light the Olympic torch.

Ready?

Here we go.

(crowd cheering, clapping) - And then the pilots climb that hill.

- [Participant] It's a Le Mans start.

Up the hill they go and we have a giant gong that we ring and as soon as that goes off, down the hill they come, hit the vehicles and off they go.

- [Will] You know, with the wetness of conditions, they may just be sliding down that hill.

- [Participant] (chuckling) That's so true.

(lively upbeat music) - [Will] The kinetic sculpture race was now fully underway.

Its participants encountering slick roadways and damp, but enthusiastic crowds.

(participant Disco Fever!

Disco Fever!)

(lively upbeat music continues) - We're the judges.

- The wigs are intimidating.

- They are.

- We had them handcrafted, they're artisanal.

- [Will] What are you judging?

- We're judging you.

(lively upbeat music continues) - [Will] Appropriately, the choronosaurus was neck and neck with the cosmosauraus.

Is Soda Quackers having problems?

- [All] No!

- [Will] I'm gonna alert you to the fact that I think his head fell off.

- (chuckling) No, never.

- [Will] The traveling works of art were working fine on dry land, but how would they handle the very wet inner harbor?

- [Crowd] 10, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, go!

(upbeat music) - You managed the water pretty well.

You came in pretty quick, didn't you?

- Yes, well, actually we meant to go slow and then events overtook us.

(upbeat music continues) - It is really easy to go into the water.

It's very hard to come out of the water and the best part is the expression on their faces when they actually come out of the water.

- But till then their expression is anguish.

- (laughing) Totally.

- [Participant] Oh, you lost something.

Uh-oh.

Oh, baby.

- It looks like it's coming apart a little bit.

- [Participant] He's just getting farther and farther.

- [Will] Pinktastic, that was a close call.

It looked like you were gonna float across the harbor.

- Yeah, I was afraid I was not coming back.

The wind just kept taking me out.

- [Will] Yeah, you got a little help from your friends though.

- [Participant] Yes, I did, I did.

Thank God for them.

- You're through the water though, and now it's onto the mud, correct?

- First sand.

- First sand, then mud.

- Yeah.

(upbeat country music) - [Checker] This is the kind of race that sort of happens to you as much as you race it.

(upbeat country music continues) - [Will] Some competitors had to push, pull, or duck walk their sculptures out of the sandpit.

While others negotiated the hazard with ease.

(crowd cheering) Somewhat surprisingly, it was the larger variety that made the sand look like solid pavement.

(crowd cheering) (spectator laughing) - [Crowd] Whoo!

(upbeat country music continues) - [Will] If you made it through the sand, it meant only one thing.

You were headed for the mud.

(beat music) And as it soon became apparent, the mud pit was where kinetic sculptures go to die, or at least get stuck.

(beat music continues) (crowd cheering) - We got sole-sucking mud, we got boot-sucking mud.

I think they lost a foot somewhere in here on the way through.

It's A+, A-grade mud over here.

(beat music continues) (crowd cheering) - [Spectator] Oh!

(crowd cheering) (whistle chirping) (beat music continues) - George, your mud pit is impossible.

Nobody can get through.

- Fear the mud.

- Is that all you got to say?

We could be here for a week.

- [Crowd] Push.

Platypush.

Platypush.

- [Crowd] Theo, Theo, Theo.

- [Spectator] Believe in yourself.

(beat music continues) - Ah, you got this.

- You got this?

No, he doesn't.

He doesn't have this in any way.

At this stage of the race, Soda Quackers, after numerous setbacks, had been reduced from an impressive moving sculpture, to a head in a baby carriage.

In the mud pit, they avoided yet another catastrophe.

(crowd yelling) (spectator laughing) By late afternoon, all of the competitors had made it through the mud, either by pushing, pulling, or carrying.

For those who slogged through under their own power, there was a definite sense of accomplishment.

The racing sculptures had pedaled through water, sand, and mud, but their next challenge would be not to their legs, but their brains.

- Okay, we need one person from each team to step on up and do the Time Machine Challenge.

Big Lady, Big Lady.

You have to answer a trivia question.

- Oh no.

- Okay Sony released the Walkman in what year?

- 1986?

- [MC] We're crunching the data with the latest technology.

Oh, I'm sorry, it was 1979.

- [Will] Very few contestants came up with a right answer, but one that did was our friend from Jemicy High School's Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.

- Secretariat, the racehorse won the Triple Crown in horse racing in what year?

- 1973.

- 1973, let's take a look.

1973, how about it?

Whoo!

He got it right and won the famed disco ball.

Congratulations.

- [Will] The racers now had only to negotiate a few more of Baltimore's traffic, and then cross the finish line.

(lively music) In a we're are all winners spirit, every competitor that finished got to break the tape, one of many tapes.

(crowd cheering) (lively music) How do you feel like you did?

- We had no idea that we were like where we were in the lineup.

I mean, it says it's a race, but it's not a race.

- It's more of a parade.

- It is a parade challenge obstacle- - Extravaganza.

- Extravaganza.

Yes, thank you.

- [Will] Did you win an award?

- We don't know yet.

I think almost everybody wins something.

Especially participation trophies!

- [Will] How was the mud?

- I don't wanna talk about the mud.

- We had some issues?

Had some mechanical issues.

Our paddle wheel in the water actually came off the chain.

- That's not good, but you finished with the platypus.

- The platypus, he hit some trees.

Decapitation is a risk that we take.

- [Will] Speaking of decapitation, the head of Uncle Tempi made it to the end, but not without a final mishap, premature tape break.

- [Participant] There he is.

He came all the way.

- It was a close call in the mud pit when somebody almost fell under the wheels.

Was that you?

- Yeah.

- That was kind of scary.

- Yeah, but I'd done scarier things like fell off a horse.

- We don't wanna hurt feelings.

That's not what we do here.

- [Will] It was time for the award ceremony, and predictably, the awards themselves were quite creative and there were a lot of them to go around.

(crowd cheering, clapping) (tropical music) - The next award is called the Worst Honorable Mention, the lowest award known to humankind.

There's nothing worse.

There's nowhere but up, guys.

Okay, nowhere but up.

And now the Golden Dinosaur Award.

And it's awarded to either the first sculpture to break down or the most memorable breakdown.

This year, the Golden Dinosaur Award goes to vehicle four, Tempis Fugit for being such a lovely disappointment.

- [Will] The Soda Quackers weren't the only familiar faces to walk away with some hardware.

The Golden Flipper Award went to Jemicy High's Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.

Platypus lifted the Best Costumes trophy.

Winging It thoroughly deserved the art Award.

Tick Tock the Croc was the People's Choice for the sixth time.

And Choronosaurus got more than a participation trophy, it earned the coveted title of National Mediocre Champion.

(crowd cheering) So until next year, we say stay creative, you kinetic sculptors.

Here's hoping you achieve mediocrity in all your future races.

(upbeat music) Coming soon on "Wild Travels," the Running of the Tubs in Hot Springs.

An astounding collection of 3D advertising art.

The 1956 Astra-Gnome car of the future, and betting it all on chicken (cluck) bingo.

(upbeat country music) (upbeat country music continues) (upbeat country music continues) We're always looking for new destinations, the wilder the better, so if you've got an idea for our show, let us know.

And thanks for watching.

- [Announcer] "Wild Travels" is made possible in part by Alaska Railroad, providing year-round transportation to many Alaska destinations, traversing nearly 500 miles of wild landscapes between Anchorage, Fairbanks, Denali National Park, and more, Alaskarailroad.com.

By Sheboygan, Wisconsin, centrally located on the shores of Lake Michigan, is home to Kohler-Andrae State Park and outdoor adventures waiting to be discovered.

VisitSheboygan.com.

By "American Road Magazine."

Get your kicks on Route 66 and everywhere else a two-Lane highway can take you.

"American Road Magazine" fuels your road trip dreams.

And by the South Shore of Lake Michigan, exploring the Indiana Dunes, unique attractions, festivals, and more, just minutes from downtown Chicago, AlongTheSouthShore.com.