- Welcome to Ear To the Common Ground.

Here we celebrate the power of music and food to bring Americans together.

Filmed from a historic barn on Cash Lane in Music City.

Each episode of Ear to the Common Ground features one musical artist in a diverse gathering of eight of their fans.

Everyone brings a dish to the table and they talk about one of the issues of the day, face to face with compassion replacing contempt as they give their hearts, ears, and minds attuned to the common ground.

We are Sweet Lizzy Project, and these are eight of our fans.

Tonight we're focusing on abortion.

Let's celebrate America's greatest diversity, diversity of thought, and shine a light on some common ground.

♪ No wonder Whoa, woo ♪ ♪ Wonder, woo ♪ - Here.

Cheers to y'all.

[All] Cheers!

- There you go.

That's a good way to start it.

(glasses clink) You just gotta make sure you look into everybody's eyes.

- So who's gonna start?

- So I'll say, I normally find that when folks are passionate about something, there's usually a a why behind it.

So do you all have a why as to why you're so passionate about your stance on, on the topic tonight?

- A hundred percent.

I'll, actually, yeah.

Let the women speak first.

I think this is important for that to happen.

- It's always been one of the issues that's most important to me down to going to Pro-choice marches when I was like 20 years old, 30 something years ago.

- I'll say, with me, I found myself pregnant at 15 and the first question that I was asked after seeing the positive pregnancy test was, What are you gonna do?

So that was my first time having a choice, and I can't imagine having that taken away from me.

And I don't find myself or anyone else godly enough to determine what someone else's choice should be.

And so I'm very, very pro-choice because I had a choice.

- Yeah.

I would just love to add on to that, that I too had the choice.

You know, I was 18 years old and I made the choice, you know, I, it was just so commonplace.

You know, I grew up in kind of inner cities and I made a lot of other choices that weren't great at that time in my life.

You know, I know I made that choice.

And for 10 years I thought that it didn't really impact me, You know, it was just a choice that I made.

You know, I found myself kind of wrestling in this moment, you know, had been invited to a retreat and I didn't really know what to expect there.

And I seen it kind of like an alter call.

And it was just like, hey, if there's anything that is just kind of like weighing on you, you wanna come up and you wanna get that off of you.

And just something in my heart like almost dragged me out of my chair and I audibly said, no, no, I can't do this.

But it came to my mind and I realized that I had never thought much about that choice.

But it wrestled me all the way to that alter.

And so there I laid it down and I realized that, you know, it wasn't the best choice I could have made, but it was the only choice I knew to make at that time.

And so now as a mother of two young children, you know, my life radically transformed, radically saved.

And I've surrendered all of the guilt and the shame behind that choice, ya know, I'm 100% pro-life.

However, I do think it's so touchy because it's so closely tied to your theological beliefs.

And so that kinda opens up, I guess, the conversation in a little bit that it is hard, you know?

It is hard because you wanna honor the person who makes that choice no matter what the choice is.

- So I've never had to make that choice, but I was very pro-choice when I was very young.

And as I've gotten older and I've experienced things through friends.

Being from Cuba, I've had family members who were forced abortions in Cuba because they got pregnant at 13 in schools and they didn't have a choice.

So it was the opposite.

It was the other extreme where they were forced abortions, they were forced to have IUDs installed and they came to this country at the age of 25 and they had horrible infections and pelvic inflammatory disease.

And we weren't even sure if they would be able to have children.

So I don't judge anyone.

And I think that, you know, I kind of sit on the fence and the older I get, you know, I have boys, I don't have girls, it's like, you know, why wouldn't someone give the guys an opportunity?

'Cause my boys have always said, gosh, if a girl ever got pregnant, mom, would you help?

I go, absolutely.

- Hmm.

- [Lourdes] So I see it now from a different point of view than when I was younger.

But I would never wanna take the choice away from someone.

- Well, I am pro-life.

I was pregnant at, had two children by the time I was 18, my first child when I was 16, my second child when I was 18.

And with my first child, honestly, I never considered it.

I spoke to my older brother today about being here tonight, and he recalls all those years ago when I did become pregnant with my first child.

And he recalls even my grandfather telling me, you need to go get an abortion.

And my grandfather's one of the godliest men that I knew in my life.

But my grandparents cared more about their reputation than they did about their granddaughter at the time.

And so I made a choice to be a mom.

And it was hard.

I don't know where my life would be today if I had not made the choice to have two children, but I did.

And I don't believe, for me, it's a political issue.

It's a moral issue for me in my life.

And the center of my life is my relationship with the Lord and everything that I do in my life, that's what is first and foremost.

So.

That's where I stand.

- [Philicia] The guys.

- I'll tell you, it's my belief that what happens from here to here is my business.

It's mine.

It belongs to me.

It does not belong to anybody else.

The choice for what I do and the decisions I make on my body belong to nobody but me.

- I've never been in my life directly involved with abortion.

I can say when it comes to this particular topic that I've never seen another topic that is more divided.

Meaning that you have, for the most part, you have two different sides.

And both of those sides are extremely passionate about their beliefs, whichever side that it is.

I don't know that there's any middle ground.

I may be the first person that is in that middle because I'm still educating myself.

- I'm an OB-GYN and delivered, you know, a couple thousand babies, a little bit more than that.

When I was in residency training, I can count on one hand, we had, if I remember right, seven or eight residents a year.

And it's a four year program.

And I can count on one hand the number of OB residents that were pro-life, all the others were pro-choice.

And we'd talk about it.

And you know, I mean, other residents would moonlight in abortion clinics and, you know, come talk about the complications they had.

And the rest of us would sort of cringe, you know, about some of those.

And there were experiences that I had in residency where excuses would be made to terminate near term babies, you know.

At 26 to 28 weeks that were perfectly healthy and moms are perfectly healthy.

And it was just, you know, an inconvenient reality that they were pregnant and they waited a long time.

And that just got, that just really struck me and made my opinions, I guess, more firm.

And for me, I mean, it's a complex issue and it's not easy and it's not, I mean, at one level I feel like it's black and white, but in practical application it's really not.

Because you've got moms whose lives are being changed and facing social impact, economic difficulties, psychological traumas sometimes.

And it's just not an easy, easy decision.

But at the end of the day, I feel like it comes down to the fact that if you believe that way, that there's another life that we are taking in order to preserve the rights of another.

And it's hard.

I mean, so for me, I just, I can't get there to say I can sacrifice one life to improve the life of someone else.

- I know for myself being pro-choice that I'm a first trimester person.

Like, I-- - [Cindy] So am I.

- That like once, because life is viable outside the womb at 15 weeks.

So first trimester is prior to life being viable, right?

And anything after that gets a little fuzzy for me.

But I do have a question for those that are pro-life, 'cause this is gonna kind of be a little political, so I'm gonna try to word it in a way to make it not so political.

Are you pro-birth or pro-life?

And the reason I ask that is because we're currently in an environment where programs all the social safety nets are being cut for women that could, that poor women especially, that need the assistance.

And we're talking about getting rid of the right to choose.

So, it's very concerning to me because I hear a lot of people saying they're pro-life, but they're all okay with cutting the social programs.

But that's not pro-life, that's pro-birth.

- [Rick] Agreed.

- You just want the person to have a baby.

And I really struggle with that.

So I'd love to hear the folks that are pro-life.

- I'm not sure if there's a fringe on the right.

The pro-life movement that truly believes that.

Everyone I know, and I've been the medical director at a couple of different pregnancy support centers and what I've seen is actually just the complete opposite where so much support is given.

Moms, not just during pregnancy, but even after, I mean even with, you know, as kids grow up, I mean five year olds coming in to, you know, get clothing and food and formula and diapers.

And what I've seen is a tremendous amount of support for moms.

Not just that we're just pro-birth and it stops as soon as the baby's born, but actually that we are truly pro-life.

You know, in terms of supporting life throughout.

- [Philicia] I have to kind of comment on that.

I know we're going - Yeah.

- through the whole pro-life section first, but two points for me, I opened the first homeless shelter in my state for homeless mothers with newborn babies.

This program was a derivative of a subprogram that housed these women while they were pregnant.

But on the day that they gave birth, that was their last day.

- [Man] Oh, wow!

- It was their dismissal.

The home wasn't set up to take care of-- - [Lori] That's kinda what I'm talking about.

- of the children.

And so I came in having lived in this home and having been one of the girls that was just like, what do I do now?

I was homeless while pregnant.

How do I magically have a home now?

Thankfully, I did have a family to go home to.

I went back to a single parent home where my mother had four brothers there.

And our family just grew by one.

But just thinking about that and thinking about the services and the support that are provided thereafter, it's wonderful to get the clothes and to get the formula and to get the diapers.

But there is a psychological need, a mental health component for the mothers.

That's not addressed in giving out diapers and formula and things of that nature.

- [Omar] That's true.

- I think it's vital for them to be available unilaterally across all mothers that have the baby, don't have the baby.

That want to give the baby up for adoption.

Talking 'em through giving the baby up.

For all those resources that you're talking about.

It like you, I think you said that they just sort of go, well, you did it.

Enjoy life.

- [Woman] Whatever you did.

- Yeah.

Out the door you go and here's your bill.

And I think you said that, you know, of course across the table, I think we all agree that the whole problem would be a lot more manageable if it just existed that way.

- Probably abortions would go down if the right counseling was available, pre, post, et cetera, you'd probably see the numbers go down.

So look, we came up with an issue we all agree on.

(all laugh) - Ha, you like that?

- That's so good.

- Guys, quick question.

Who brought the lentils?

- Me.

- They're delicious.

- Appreciate it.

So that is actually, it's the Lebanese main dish that's so easy and healthy and vegan and all that.

- [Cindy] Yeah, it's all the thing.

- And it's what we call, you know, when Esau sold his birthright.

- That's it.

That's it.

- [Lori] No, my husband would laugh because I'm not a huge lentils fan.

(Jennifer mouthing) And in our culture we don't make them that great.

- [Cindy] I'm sold on lentils.

(all laugh) - [Rocky] After tonight, or?

- [Cindy] I think I'm gonna have to pass around the rest of this.

- Yes, like it's gonna make its way back around right here.

- [Lordes] And we make lentils but its more soup.

- [Lori] Somebody who's got mental health issues or has abusive partner, they're not gonna be able to bring a life into this world that they can give to somebody else.

Because they can barely take care of themselves.

- But what if it's not somebody that's in that case?

What if it's a 25 year old that, you know, has a one night stand and decides to, because it's such a small percentage of women that are living in poverty that are making these choices.

It's actually medium income women that have careers and are just making a choice out of necessity.

So I'm just curious-- - I'm gonna go back and say that the same way there are lasting effects to abortion, there are lasting effects to adoption.

Like that just doesn't close a book.

This organization that I worked with-- - Somebody has to fight for the right of a child.

- I absolutely agree.

- [Jennifer] Somebody.

- I agree.

But I've also been a part of organizations to where children who were given up now come back and they want to know why.

And there's a whole nother level of shame and guilt.

And now I've gotta explain to you why I gave you away.

- For us, I think, you know, it's at conception because we believe that, you know, that life is made, human life is made in the image of God.

So it's sort of his reflection and we believe that it's holy and protected, right?

Wherever it exists.

So I think that that's a key question.

So at what point does it become okay to take that life, whether it's a fetus or an embryo or a child or an adult?

- Is it okay if I hit you back with a hard question?

- [Omar] Yeah, sure.

- So the question that's been posed so far is that when does life begin?

Right?

So I have a counter question.

When does the mother's bodily autonomy end?

- We don't take adoption off the table.

We just say that that right needs to be given to the woman who's, who's carrying, whatever her option is.

- Yeah.

And I loved your response, Omar, you know, to just that physical kind of display of the, this is my body and it is my choice.

And that is a very just strong kind of imagery when you think about the pro-choice movement.

And I think the moment that we made the choice, because I wanna also separate the anomalies, the minority circumstances, the very minority circumstances are the rape and the incest, tragedies, you know?

And then that moves back into theology where, you know, God can make good out of all horrible things because children get cancer and that's heartbreaking.

But we go to the majority and the majority of these choices are adults.

Adults that are just not making good choices, because, you know, we're trying to have fun or maybe, yeah, I don't wanna be burdened with this or I already have three kids and the birth control method didn't work and dang.

You know, we didn't think that was gonna happen.

And so then you now have this, you know, probably four weeks, you realize now that the baby's in there and you say, well it's just not good for me right now.

It's not good for, for my season.

You know, it's this me, this self, this choice I have to make for myself.

And I wonder if we saw 10 years from now, I wonder if we saw that living being looking back at us saying, I really want this life.

You know, if it's my choice.

Like I know you don't see all my hands in, I know you don't see my fingers yet.

You know, I don't, you don't see my eyebrows yet but I promise you like, I want the choice and I wanna be here.

You know, I just wonder if we could see that in that moment and we could make a choice that wasn't for ourselves.

Because now that I've been pregnant twice, I can tell you, I probably said that a couple times.

I probably said, I don't wanna do this anymore.

This is hard.

You know, my husband was out business and I'm just like, I can't do this by myself 'cause it felt like I was by myself, you know?

But I had the sense, I was like, okay, I have my husband, I have another baby, I can do this.

But you know, sometimes you are, you know, there's postpartum depression, but there's, you know, depression during pregnancy as well.

Real dangerous stuff.

Real mentally challenging things when they go through.

- I think they call perinatal depression.

- The one thing I've noticed we haven't talked about at all, 'cause I know we keep talking about a woman's right to choose.

What about the men that got the women pregnant?

- [Rick] I was just about to bring that-- - You know, so.. (all cross talking) - [Lourdes] Where are their responsibilities?

- Right.

Everyone at the table, I was gonna ask, what about a man's right to choose and the man's involvement?

- I have answer for this.

I'll just throw this out 'cause it's real quick.

The man is not pregnant.

And if the woman wants the man to be involved, great.

But if the woman wants an abortion, it's still her body.

There is nobody, and this is my view, guys.

This is why we're here at the table, right?

To me, there is nobody anywhere, for any reason, under any circumstances that somebody can tell another person of sound mind what they can do with their health.

Period.

End of story.

That's my opinion.

- I agree with you.

The reason I asked the question though was because we talk a lot about women having to carry the baby to term.

What happens to the woman after she carries a baby to term and has the baby?

We haven't said that men need to step up and be involved.

- And some men wanna take that baby.

- [Rocky] Yeah, no doubt.

- If my son had gotten a girl pregnant and she didn't want the baby, I would've taken the baby.

- You know, and not because I'm pro-choice or pro-life, but because it's half of my son.

And I would've been glad to raise it.

- Well and I think there's two sides to that.

You say responsibility, absolutely.

A man should be held responsible once that baby comes into this world.

On the other side of that though, I also believe that a father should have the opportunity to say I want this child.

So many women I know have abortions without even having that conversation with her partner or with her boyfriend or the father of the child.

And so I think it, it's on both sides.

I totally agree a man should be held responsible.

I mean, my husband and I were teenagers when we had our children and he was fully held responsible at that time.

And thank God we're still together even 30 years later.

But I agree with you, they should definitely be held responsible for their actions.

- Oh, my lord!

- [Lori] Okay, who wants tres leches?

- What is this?!

(all cheering) - What is this?!

- Mucho gracias.

- Okay.

You go first.

- I will.

You don't have to pin my hair back.

(all laugh) Let's go!

- Dreaming of a revolution.

Love.

I love that song.

And I love the fact that you did the album in both Spanish and English.

- Oh, thank you.

- [Lori] Talk about your inspiration a little bit.

I mean, I can imagine what your inspiration is, but I'd love to hear it from, from the two of you.

- Very recently, things started to happen in Cuba.

Like people started to, you know, realize that they needed change, right?

And then we started writing this new album, it's called Pirate Radio.

And I mean we were just working on it.

We didn't think about putting songs out just yet, but then it was July 11th it happened.

It was, you know, a lot of protests started happen in Cuba and it was like people literally just opened their eyes.

So we felt like we needed to contribute somehow.

And music is what we have.

So that's why we decided to put out dreaming of revolution in both English and Spanish.

Because yes, our people who speak Spanish, they know what's going on.

But sometimes like Americans don't really know what's happening because the official speech is completely different from the reality that we Cubans live.

So that's why we have both languages for this album.

And hopefully it'll help people around the world to know what what is actually going on.

(soft music starts) - It's an amazing song.

- Thank you.

- It's an amazing song.

♪ I'm looking for a Revolution ♪ ♪ A treasure hunt ♪ ♪ An illusion ♪ ♪ A rabbit hole to go down and under ♪ ♪ A wind of change to fly off with you ♪ ♪ I'm looking for a revolution ♪ ♪ You're looking for a revolution ♪ ♪ Fear is gone.

It's a new day ♪ ♪ Dreams are floating in the air ♪ ♪ We are looking for a Revolution ♪ ♪ You're thinking of a Revolution ♪ ♪ A wake up call ♪ ♪ A solution ♪ ♪ A magic pill to beat the monster ♪ ♪ A wonderland to be free with you ♪ ♪ I'm looking for a revolution ♪ ♪ You're looking for a revolution ♪ ♪ Fear is gone.

It's a new day.

♪ ♪ Dreams are floating in the air ♪ ♪ We are looking for a revolution ♪ ♪ I'm looking for a revolution ♪ ♪ You're looking for a revolution ♪ ♪ (Spanish) Fear is gone.

It's a new day ♪ ♪ Dreams are floating in the air ♪ ♪ (English) We are looking for a revolution ♪ ♪ Of a revolution ♪ ♪ Dreaming ♪ ♪ Of a revolution ♪ ♪ Dreaming ♪ ♪ Of a revolution ♪ (everyone clapping and cheering) (vocals continue)