(bright music) (upbeat military music) (bright music) (upbeat military music) ♪ It's your country and my country ♪ ♪ With millions of real fighting men ♪ ♪ It's your duty and my duty ♪ ♪ To speak with the sword, not the pen ♪ ♪ If Washington were living today ♪ ♪ With sword in hand he'd stand up and say ♪ ♪ For your country and my country ♪ ♪ I'd do it all over again ♪ ♪ It's your country and my country ♪ ♪ With millions of real fighting men ♪ ♪ It's your duty and my duty ♪ ♪ To speak with the sword, not the pen ♪ ♪ If Washington were living today ♪ ♪ With sword in hand he'd stand up and say ♪ ♪ For your country and my country ♪ ♪ I'd do it all over again ♪ (cheering and trumpets blaring) ♪ I never felt so happy before ♪ ♪ A little rascal knocked at my door ♪ ♪ It's Cupid that I'm speaking of ♪ ♪ I'm in love, so in love ♪ ♪ I must admit that right from the start ♪ ♪ I went and lost my heart ♪ ♪ Way till you see me with my sweetie ♪ ♪ Showing her off to the crowd ♪ ♪ Looking so dreamy at my sweetie ♪ ♪ Feeling so terribly proud ♪ ♪ She makes a specialty of looking good to me ♪ ♪ She ought to be right in Tiffany's window ♪ ♪ She's a jewel, I know that you will agree ♪ ♪ Wait till I'm married to my sweetie ♪ ♪ How happy I'll be ♪ ♪ I've got the bungalow paid for ♪ ♪ I've had it specially made for my sweetie, ♪ ♪ Sweetie-Eetie-Eetie ♪ ♪ My sweetie and me ♪ (audience applauding) (feet tapping) >> Even at matinees, he kills 'em.

>> That's why he's a great performer.

>> Well, he can get ready for the greatest performance of his life.

This just came.

>> Oh thanks, I'll take it.

(feet tapping) (audience applauding) >> Hiya, sweetie.

>> Oh look, honey, from the president.

>> Huh?

>> Maybe a command performance, huh?

>> The President of the United States?

Well open that up, see what he says.

(audience applauding) Hey, let's see it.

What is it?

Holy smoke, I'll say it's a command performance.

>> Oh that's wonderful Jerry, but what- (audience applauding) Aren't you excited?

What did he say?

>> Look, sweetie, you know I love you, don't you?

Will you marry me tonight?

>> What?

>> Will you marry me tonight?

>> Well, of course- >> Wonderful.

Congratulations.

Starting tomorrow, you're a war-bride.

Look.

I've just been drafted.

(light bright music) >> Goodbye, mama.

>> Oh, Maxie, listen to mama.

>> I always do.

He helped us when we came to America, now I help him.

>> But it was from fights and troubles we run away.

>> But we didn't start this one, and it's up to us Americans to finish it.

Look, mama, see what it says?

"I want you for the United States Army."

Uncle Sam has his finger on me.

Goodbye, mama.

>> Goodbye, goodbye, my son, and take care of you.

Be a good boy and don't fight.

>> Maxie: Yes.

>> O'Brien: Mrs. Dibble, Mrs. Dibble, oh Mrs. Dibble.

>> Dibble: Yes, Mrs. O'Brien.

>> Say, they tell me your Eddie's leaving for the war.

>> Yes, and the Army's glad they've got him.

>> Well so am I.

Now maybe we can get some sleep around here.

(sighing) (trumpet blaring) >> All the time playing that coronet.

(woman weeping) >> I know it'll be hard on you, but tell me, aren't you a tiny bit proud?

>> Eddie, I don't see what the Army wants with you.

You won't ever make a good soldier.

>> Well, I can try it for a few months and see how I like it.

If I don't like it- >> You'll what?

>> I can try it a few more months.

>> Oh, it all comes from your wanting to march in parades and play in a band.

It's all the fault of that darn coronet.

>> Well, it won't be a coronet any longer.

From now on, it'll be a bugle.

(military bugle blaring) (bugle blaring) (bugle blaring) >> So that's the bugler, huh?

Now I know the first guy I wanna kill in this war.

>> Does that mean we should get up?

>> 5:30, that can't be for us.

I didn't leave any call for 5:30.

I'll roll over and get another 40 winks.

(whistle blaring) >> Get out of them beds.

I want this joint cleaned up before breakfast.

Get out of there, you.

Up.

The CO's gonna give this barracks a white glove inspection today, so rise, my little beauties, and start to shine.

Ah.

Hello.

>> Jerry: Hello.

>> Hi.

>> All right, hi.

We're the new fellas, we just got in last night.

>> You slept well?

>> Oh yeah, sure, you know this bed's got the softest mattress I ever slept on a floor next to.

>> Say listen, chum, there's a war waiting for you, but I ain't.

Now roll out of them sacks before I bust your ankles into knees.

Now get out of there.

You too.

>> Jerry: All right.

>> You, my little white lily, up.

You too.

>> He's drunk with power, ain't he?

>> Hey, what is this 5:30 business?

>> Man: Left shoulder, turn.

>> Left.

Left turn, platoon halt.

>> Too fast.

>> What is the matter with you, beautiful?

Can't you even hear?

I'm telling you what foot to lay down.

Don't you know your left foot from your right?

>> I know they're both sore and I wish they were both flat.

>> Shut up.

Oh, so the Army don't agree with you, huh?

>> In some ways, I don't agree with the Army.

>> Is it too much of a strain?

>> It wouldn't be if they kept sensible hours like civilians.

>> What did you do as a civilian?

>> Danced.

>> McGee: What would you like to do in the Army?

>> Dance.

>> Forward, march.

I kept telling 'em, you don't get no soldiers out of no draft.

So help me, major, when I asked him what he'd like to do in this war, he comes back at me as quick as a flash.

"Dance," he says, "dance."

Just like that.

>> Well Jones was a dancer in civilian life, one of the best, too.

>> Yes, but how am I gonna get over to a dope like that so that this here is a war?

>> Sergeant, there's a very necessary element in soldiering, it goes by various names, but let's call it morale.

>> Oh I ain't saying he's a dame-chaser, sir.

>> No, sergeant, what I mean is that war is a pretty grim business and sometimes a song or a smile is just as vital to an army as food.

>> Sir?

>> Teach your men to fight, naturally, but don't discourage their attempts to entertain one another.

As a matter of fact, encourage them.

Do you follow me, sergeant?

>> Yes, sir.

>> Is there anything bothering you, sergeant?

You can speak quite freely, of course.

>> No, sir.

Only, as far as I'm concerned, we just lost this war.

>> What?

>> Sir.

(bright music) ♪ Poor little me ♪ ♪ I'm on KP ♪ ♪ I scrub the mess hall on my bended knee ♪ ♪ Against my wishes, I wash the dishes ♪ ♪ To make this wide world safe for democracy ♪ >> That was swell, Max, swell, but look, don't forget to keep scrubbing the pots while you're singing.

And you fellas, move in behind him a little sooner.

That fiddle section can stand a little rehearsal too.

Well, what do you think, sarge?

>> Ah, grownup guys putting on a show give me a pain in the stomach.

>> Good, I was afraid you might like it.

Get those copies made up as fast as you can, will you, man?

>> How's this, Jerry?

>> Oh that looks fine, fine, but tone it down a little bit, you know?

This is still for the Army and when you've finished that, make me a sketch of the kitchen over there just exactly the way it is.

I wanna use it for the KP number.

>> Soldier: Hey, Jerry.

>> Coming right over.

Got a match, sarge?

>> Yes.

>> And here's piano copies for the new two numbers.

>> Oh fine, fine, I'll run over those in a couple of minutes.

Now I've gotta get something snappy for the opening.

That looks great.

That looks good enough to walk down 5th Avenue all alone.

(piano music) No, no, no, wait a minute, fellas, wait a minute.

You're losing the whole spirit of the thing.

Sit down, I'll show you what I mean.

Look, fellas, this isn't a five-mile hike.

Pick up the tempo, raise your feet.

Come on, let's try it again.

(humming) (tap dancing) Got it, Joe?

Run it through a few times, they'll hit it all right.

>> Joe: All right, boys, line up.

>> Don't forget that rehearsal later.

>> Soldier: Okay, Jerry.

>> [Dance Instructor] One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

Now turn.

>> No, no, no, hold it, fellas.

Look, point your hands, point your toes, and let's see those big smiles on your faces.

That's it.

Yes?

>> Could you use me?

>> Well I don't know, what do you do?

>> I'm the bugler.

>> Bugler.

Well, whoa, hold it, men, hold it.

It's no use, they'll find another one.

Do you do anything else?

>> I also play the coronet.

>> But not as well as you play the bugle, huh?

>> Even better, perhaps.

>> That seems unbelievable.

Bunny, hand me your coronet a minute.

>> Bunny: Okay, Jerry.

>> Here, play this for me.

Let's hear how it sounds.

There you are.

(coronet melodically blaring) ♪ Someday I'm going to murder the bugler ♪ ♪ Someday they're going to find him dead ♪ >> How's the show going, Jerry?

>> Wonderful, wonderful.

We're gonna have a great show.

(coronet notes fumbling) Maybe I spoke too soon.

>> Are these okay for the minstrel stand?

>> Yeah, they look fine.

I'll be with you in a minute, I gotta fix up the finale.

♪ God bless America ♪ ♪ Land that I love ♪ ♪ Stand beside her and guide her ♪ ♪ Through the night ♪ ♪ With a light from above ♪ >> Wait a minute, wait a minute, fellas.

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

That song is out, I got another number for that spot.

>> Soldier: What's the matter with the one we're singing?

>> Nothing, it's a swell tune, but it's too slow for the finale.

Now believe me, I know what I'm talking about.

I got a number here that'll knock 'em right out of their seats.

Now I'll sing the first verse and chorus and the rest of you join in.

Now here's the setting, there's a big transport, you see, built right on the stage.

You've just got orders you're going overseas, everybody's marching with full equipment.

You're on your way to France.

Go ahead, hit it.

(dramatic music) ♪ All is ready, so just hold steady ♪ ♪ We must keep going to the pier ♪ ♪ No more waiting or hesitating, the time to sail is here ♪ ♪ Bye-Bye mothers, and all the others ♪ ♪ Who'll come to shed a little tear ♪ ♪ Don't cry, bye-bye, give us a marching cheer ♪ ♪ We're on our way to France ♪ >> Now the left flank, march.

♪ There's not a minute to spare ♪ ♪ That's why oh when the Yanks advance ♪ ♪ You'll bet we wanna be there, goodbye ♪ (sirens blaring) >> Lieutenant McCarthy reporting, sir.

The convoy is standing by.

>> Oh, that's fine.

Sergeant McGee.

>> Yes, sir.

>> Well, this is it.

The trucks are here.

>> We're ready, sir.

>> You've inspected your men?

>> Everything is prepared, sir.

We've changed the routine of the finale and the men will march with full field equipment out through the audience to the trucks, sir.

>> Oh that's fine, sergeant.

Lieutenant, take charge of your detail.

>> Yes, sir.

>> Well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

>> Yes, sir.

>> Goodbye, sergeant.

Best of luck.

>> Thank you, sir.

>> Sarge, the way the show's going over, it looks like we'll really run in a year.

>> Brother, we got marching orders, and soldier, you're really going to France.

(audience applauding) (military music) >> Forward ho.

♪ Old Hoboken is bent and broken ♪ ♪ From soldiers marching on her pier ♪ ♪ While you slumber, a great big number ♪ >> That's not the way they rehearsed it.

♪ To the millions of brave civilians ♪ ♪ That we are leaving over here ♪ >> It's real, they're going.

(audience applauding) ♪ We're on our way to France ♪ ♪ There's not a minute to spare ♪ ♪ That's why ♪ ♪ For when the Yanks advance ♪ ♪ You'll bet we wanna be there ♪ ♪ Goodbye ♪ >> So long, right, ho.

♪ We're on our way to France ♪ ♪ There's not a minute to spare ♪ ♪ That's why ♪ ♪ Oh when the Yanks advance ♪ ♪ You'll bet we wanna be there, goodbye ♪ >> Bye.

>> Jerry: Goodbye, darling.

>> Goodbye.

Goodbye, now.

>> Goodbye, darling.

>> Goodbye.

>> Don't worry, honey.

>> No, good luck.

>> Don't worry.

>> Take care of yourself.

>> Don't worry, darling.

We'll be back in no time.

>> Good luck.

>> Bill!

>> Goodbye, mom, don't worry.

>> Oh Eddie, Eddie, you never told me.

It's that darn coronet.

♪ Oh when the Yanks advance ♪ ♪ You'll bet we wanna be there, goodbye ♪ (guns firing) (dramatic music) (gentle music) >> Maxie: It's a lot different from Yip Yip Yaphank, huh Jerry?

>> Oh not much.

Sometimes it did seem a little noisier backstage.

>> I'm scratching all the names in the show on the bugle.

One's kind of hazy.

Who was that guy in the fifth row, third from the end?

>> You mean yourself.

>> Oh yes, of course.

Thank you, sergeant.

How could I forget?

Eddie Dibble.

(dramatic music) (explosions booming) (whistle blowing) >> Who's that?

>> It's me, Eddie.

>> Maxie: You all right?

>> I'm afraid they dented my bugle.

>> Maxie: Jerry.

Oh.

Give me a hand.

(dramatic music) (explosions booming) ♪ Goodbye France, ♪ ♪ We'd love to linger longer but we must go home ♪ ♪ Folks are waiting to welcome us across the foam ♪ ♪ A fond farewell to you and yours ♪ ♪ We've won the war to end all wars ♪ ♪ The job is done, the Kaiser isn't coming back ♪ ♪ So goodbye France ♪ (cheering) >> There they are, every one.

The fighters of Yip Yip Yaphank.

>> You know, I got a cousin like you.

>> That's one piece of government property I'd like to see ruined.

>> There's Marty Brennon, dead at the Argonne.

There's Clark, dead.

>> They're not dead.

Not a single one.

They'll live forever on this bugle.

>> Hey, Max, Eddie.

>> What are you doing here?

>> Sorry, buddy.

Well, a fine bunch of guys you turned out to be, leaving me up there in bed with nothing but a pitcher of water.

Come on, Max, where's my drink?

>> Coming right up, Jerry.

>> Uh-oh, what happened to the sergeant?

Somebody slip him a mickey?

I hope.

>> I wonder what a guy like the sergeant would do after the war.

Me, I go back to my work, but him?

>> He just goes back.

>> Civilians.

Ha, even in uniform, they're still civilians.

>> What about you, Jerry, what are you going to do?

>> Don't worry about me, I'll be all right.

I'll find some job that a fella with a game leg can handle, but right now, I've got the biggest job of my life.

Listen to this, gentlemen.

You have just become the father of an eight pound baby boy.

>> A father?

>> Yeah, hey, sarge, wake up, I'm a father, look.

>> Oh.

>> That's wonderful, Jerry, to have a little one to come home to.

My Genevieve died.

>> Genevieve?

>> It's his canary bird.

(all laughing) >> Say, let's put the baby's name on the bugle.

Has it a name?

>> Not yet, but you know what I'm gonna call him?

>> What?

>> John J. Pershing Jones.

>> Fine, we'll make him the godson of Yip Yip Yaphank.

>> Great show.

>> You said it was a great show.

Let's drink to it.

Here's to a great show, may there never be another one.

(glass shattering) (dramatic music) >> On this November 11th, the 21st anniversary of the Armistice of World War I, this then is the record of those who said they had no more territorial ambitions.

Czechoslovakia, annihilated.

Albania, invaded.

>> Announcer: Is the number you have just heard.

And now, we take great pleasure in presenting to you the star of our program, Ms. Kate Smith.

(audience applauding) >> Hello, everybody.

It is my happy privilege to introduce a new song.

God Bless America.

(audience applauding) ♪ While the storm clouds gather ♪ ♪ Far across the sea ♪ ♪ Let us swear allegiance ♪ ♪ To a land that's free ♪ ♪ Let us all be grateful ♪ ♪ For a land so fair ♪ ♪ As we raise our voices ♪ ♪ In a solemn prayer ♪ ♪ God bless America ♪ ♪ Land that I love ♪ ♪ Stand beside her and guide her ♪ ♪ Through the night with a light from above ♪ ♪ From the mountains to the prairie ♪ ♪ To the ocean white with foam ♪ ♪ God bless America ♪ ♪ My home sweet home ♪ ♪ God bless America ♪ ♪ Land that I love ♪ ♪ Stand beside her and guide her ♪ ♪ Through the night, with a light from above ♪ ♪ From the mountains ♪ ♪ To the prairie ♪ ♪ To the ocean ♪ >> Eileen: Goodbye, daddy.

>> Bye, dear, don't be late.

>> Eileen: Nope.

♪ White with foam ♪ ♪ God bless America ♪ ♪ My home sweet home ♪ >> Right, pop?

>> Right, son.

♪ God bless America ♪ ♪ Land that I love ♪ ♪ Beside her and guide her ♪ ♪ Through the night, with a light from above ♪ ♪ From the mountains ♪ ♪ To the prairie ♪ ♪ To the ocean white with foam ♪ ♪ God bless America ♪ >> Kinda makes you think of Blake, doesn't it?

Makes you think of a lot of things.

We're going to be in this yet, mom.

♪ From the mountains to the prairie ♪ ♪ To the ocean white with foam ♪ ♪ God bless America ♪ >> Hello, son.

>> Johnny: Hi, mom.

>> Jerry: Hello, darling.

>> New song?

>> Brand new, first time on the air.

>> Brand new my eye.

You know, I threw that song out of Yip Yip Yaphank 22 years ago.

It sounds better now.

♪ God bless America ♪ ♪ My ♪ ♪ Home ♪ ♪ Sweet ♪ ♪ Home ♪ (audience applauding) (dramatic music) (explosions booming) >> Well I guess that's all, Mrs. Nelson.

I just wondered if there was anything I could do.

>> No, Johnny, thanks.

>> He was a great guy.

>> Nelson: Yes.

>> How's- >> Dorothy and Blake's baby?

Well naturally, Dorothy is very upset.

She feels kind of alone and helpless with the baby that Blake never even saw.

I asked her to move in here with us, but her pride and- I don't know what she's going to do.

>> It must be tough on a young wife, a baby.

I hadn't thought about it.

Call me if there's anything I can do, please.

>> Thanks, Johnny, but Ted is the man of the house now, and he'll look after things.

>> I'm sure he will.

Goodbye.

>> Goodbye.

>> Look, ma, look, Ted gave all his stuff to me, even his best clothes.

>> Nelson: Ted?

>> Yes, mom, I've got a little business to take care of for Blake.

>> Gee, I hope this is a long war.

I wanna get in it too.

>> Eileen: There you are, sir.

>> Thank you.

>> Eileen: Thank you.

(whimsical music) >> I'd like a couple of dozen military marches, please.

>> Yes, sir.

Johnny.

What happened to you?

>> Nothing, I just changed clothes.

>> You've enlisted.

>> Well, you knew it was going to happen sooner or later.

>> Oh you look wonderful in that uniform.

>> Not any better than the rest of the fellas.

We all have the same tailor.

Say look, it's 9:30 now and I gotta report at 5:30 in the morning, that gives us eight full hours to do the town, so let's go.

>> But Johnny, I can't leave yet.

Daddy isn't coming back tonight.

I've gotta keep this store open until 10.

>> Ms. Dibble, this is war.

We're closing the joint right now.

>> Oh.

>> Come on, quit stalling.

(big band music) (audience applauding) >> Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Frances Langford.

(audience applauding) ♪ Johnny Doughboy overseas filled with pride and joy ♪ ♪ Stopping everyone he meets and shouting it's a boy ♪ ♪ What does he look like, that boy of mine ♪ ♪ Since the news came, I can't get him off my mind ♪ ♪ Does he resemble his homely dad ♪ ♪ Does he look like the girl that I left behind ♪ ♪ Bring on the Germans and bring on the Japs ♪ ♪ Bring on the first two you can find ♪ ♪ One for the rascal I haven't seen ♪ ♪ And one for the girl that I left behind ♪ ♪ What does he look like, that boy of mine ♪ ♪ Since the news came I can't get him off my mind ♪ ♪ Does he resemble his homely dad ♪ ♪ Does he look like the girl that I left behind ♪ ♪ Bring on the Germans and bring on the Japs ♪ ♪ Bring on the first two you can find ♪ ♪ One for the rascal I haven't seen ♪ ♪ And one for the girl that I left behind ♪ (audience applauding) (romantic music) >> That must be a wonderful feeling for a soldier, to know there's somebody waiting for him.

>> Yeah.

>> Especially a wife.

>> A wife?

>> Sure, it's very simple.

You stand in front of a minister and he asks me the question and I say, "I do."

And then he asks you the question and you say, "I do."

Or do you say, "I do"?

>> Look, honey, what could I offer you as the wife of a soldier?

A home, any kind of life together?

Just the right to write me letters, you have that now.

>> I could sign them Mrs. Johnny JP Jones.

I've practiced.

>> Address them to Private Jones, US Army, destination unknown.

>> Eileen: But Johnny- >> Look, honey, we've been going together since we were kids.

We can wait for marriage a little while longer.

As much as I love you, that's just not for us right now.

>> You mean we're not gonna get married before you leave?

>> No, honey, and I know that's best.

It was proven to me.

>> Eileen: How was it proven?

>> Well.

>> That's what I thought.

>> Oh look, that would be the romantic thing to do.

Fellas all over the country, all over the world, marrying just as they get into uniform.

I don't have the right.

>> I've offered you the right.

Well, I guess I'd better get home.

Thanks for letting me know how you feel about things.

Please don't follow me, Johnny.

I'm liable to say something I'll be sorry for the rest of my life.

>> Darling, darling, where are you?

>> Here, darling, what is it, what's the matter?

>> Oh it's Danny, Danny's enlisted.

>> Well that's wonderful, a son who does it the hard way.

Where is he?

>> Hiya, pop.

>> The Navy?

>> Well, pop, between us we have the situation well in hand.

>> He does look rather nice, though, doesn't he?

>> But, Danny, how could you?

(bugle blaring) >> Instructor: One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

>> Hey, what's going on here?

>> Bend all the way down, here comes the bull of the woods.

>> Hey, arms down.

What's the matter with you, Twardofsky?

Don't you like our early morning calisthenics?

>> Well, I didn't like 'em at first.

>> Oh, you didn't like 'em at first.

How do you like 'em now?

>> I'm still on first.

>> Sarge.

>> Sarge?

How'd you get in the army?

>> Politics.

>> Is that a reason?

>> Look, sergeant, I got three reasons for being in the army.

First, I'm patriotic.

Second, I love my country.

And third, they nailed me.

>> And that goes for me too.

>> Listen, you two birds report to me immediately after this formation.

Take 'em away, sarge!

>> You and my big mouth.

(military music) (march music) >> Eddie: Sergeant McGee.

>> Eddie.

>> Oh boy, I see you're still with your first love.

>> That's exactly right.

>> Look at all the people coming in.

>> Yeah, it looks like Sunday at the zoo.

Gotta hang up a sign saying, "Please do not feed the soldiers."

You see your father?

>> Yeah, he's up with the CO getting reacquainted.

>> So is mine.

It took another war to get those guys together again.

>> There's a lot of mothers and sweethearts in that mob.

>> And speaking of sweethearts, get a load of that military objective approaches.

Shall I trip her?

>> Hey, take it easy, yard-bird.

The young lady happens to be a friend of mine.

>> Hello, Johnny.

>> Hello.

I didn't expect to see you here.

>> Neither did I.

>> Look, Tommy, why don't you take a ride and I'll see you later.

>> Okay, maybe I'll pick an MP.

>> Well, what brings you way up here in the sticks?

>> Well, dad came down to the old timer's reunion and he insisted that I come along at the last minute.

>> Sit down.

>> Thanks.

>> How do you like my new home?

>> It's big enough.

Well what do you think of the Army by now?

>> Swell.

>> How do you feel about things?

>> I'm more in love with you than ever.

And I'm more than ever convinced this job that has to be done before we can even consider anything else.

>> Oh.

Johnny, don't you realize that if all men felt like you, there wouldn't be anymore families?

There wouldn't be anymore world.

>> Honey, you're so unreasonable.

>> I'm not unreasonable.

>> We're in a war.

And until it's over, all our private lives just stand still.

>> But does that mean we're supposed to stop living?

>> As Johnny Jones, private citizen, yes.

I'm Corporal Jones.

I don't know how long it'll take to get back to being Johnny Jones, private citizen, but until I am, I don't intend to leave anyone on my conscience back home.

That's only logic.

>> All right, Johnny, you win.

After the war is a time for taking a wife.

But you'll have to find a wife first.

>> Well, boys, here we are.

I wanted to conduct this little tour personally.

This is where Yip Yip Yaphank was born.

Remember?

>> Eddie: Who could forget, sir?

>> Maxie: A million years ago, it seems like.

>> It seems like it was only yesterday to me.

I was quite a man in those days, I thought.

>> You certainly were a man to me and my bugle.

>> Boy, you know, you didn't do us any favors, blowing that thing at half past five every morning.

>> John: Same old spirit after 23 years.

>> Jerry: Well, we're a couple of years older, colonel, but there's some things about the Army you never forget.

(laughs) >> Very true.

>> Eddie: That's right.

>> Hey, fellas, look at this.

The same old kitchen, just like it used to be.

♪ Poor little me ♪ ♪ I'm a KP ♪ ♪ I scrub the mess hall on my bended knee ♪ ♪ Against my wishes, I wash the dishes ♪ ♪ To- ♪ I didn't remember it then, I don't remember it now.

(all laughing) >> Jerry: You know, your voice hasn't improved with age, either.

(all laughing) >> Say, fellas, look.

Here's a list of the old gang.

>> Well, what do you know?

I'd forgotten about this.

Yip Yip Yaphank, the names of all the men in the show.

There's Marty Brennon, killed in action in the Argonne.

And this little one here, Peterson, I don't remember him.

>> You remember, the gray-eyed kid from Texas, opened a grocery store.

>> Oh yes.

>> He's gone.

>> Hey, there's my name.

I put it on when you fellas weren't looking.

>> Remember Dopey Mulligan who knew he'd get killed?

>> Yes.

>> He's now an undertaker in Des Moines.

>> No.

>> Yeah.

(all laughing) >> And there's Johnny Murphy.

Remember that skinny little kid used to be dancing all the time?

I wonder whatever happened to him.

>> Here I am, and I'm still hoofing.

(both laughing) >> Johnny, you look like the kid that swiped the watermelon.

(all laughing) >> You should see Dutch Husky if you wanna get a laugh.

He combs his hair with a towel.

>> No.

(all laughing) Yes, indeed, it was a good show.

>> It was a great show and so were the men in it.

>> That was some war too, the old war.

>> Yeah, that was the war to end all wars.

And now we've got a new one.

Well, what are we waiting for?

A new war, a new show.

>> I knew it, sir.

>> John: Well, Jerry, what do you say, will you?

>> Sure, I'll help.

It'll be something fine for the boys to remember, because I'm afraid there'll be a lot of it that they'll wanna forget.

Incidentally, colonel, that's just reminded me, I've got a son right here at the camp.

He's got a little talent, maybe we could use him.

>> I've got one too.

>> Hey, what's the matter with my boy?

>> What about us old timers?

We oughta be in it too.

>> That's it, we oughta do an old timer's number.

What do you think, fellas?

>> Yeah.

>> Great idea.

>> How about it, Murph?

(snapping and tapping) >> Let's go.

>> Murph is ready.

I'll tell ya what we can do.

We'll do the number we did in the last show.

Do you remember the old close order drill we used to do with the dance step?

You fellas all will line up, you know, just like you did on the stage.

And when the band starts to play, I'll step down front and I'll... Well, we'll figure the number out so you fellas can do it without me.

I'll be busy, you know, backstage.

>> What will we call the show?

>> Yip Yip Yaphank, the Second.

>> No, no, Max, that's no good.

It's a new war, a new show, we've got to have a new name.

>> Well why not state the simple fact, This Is the Army.

>> What do you think, fellas?

>> All: Good, great title.

(dramatic music) >> Corporal Oxford and Private Joe Cook Jr, yes, sir.

Corporal Oxford.

>> Yes, sergeant?

>> Private Cook.

>> Cook: Yes, sergeant?

>> Report to Captain Franks, you're going in the Army Relief show.

>> Soldier: Sergeant Stone.

>> Coming, lieutenant.

>> Soldier: You're gonna be in the Army show.

>> Yes, sir, we'll have this tank right out.

What show?

>> Soldier: It's for Army Emergency Relief.

>> Yes, sir, Corporal Mitchell speaking, sir.

Oh that's great.

I mean yes, sir.

>> Yes, sir.

Sidney, hey, Sidney.

>> Yeah?

>> Soldier: After this run, report to Lieutenant James.

>> Private Lance.

>> Yes, sir.

>> Jaeger.

>> Yes, sir.

>> Anderson.

>> Yes, sir.

>> Officer: Report to Captain Bowie.

>> Corporal Truex.

>> Yeah?

>> Report to the CO right after this trip.

>> Messenger: Corporal Vargas, you will be on detached service with the Army Emergency Relief show.

>> Messenger: Alan Brise, report to the orderly room immediately after the firing.

(cheering) (dramatic music) >> Announcer: Sergeant Joe Louis, Sergeant Joe Louis.

After the bout is over, report to the orderly room.

(cheering) >> Messenger: Corporal Brown, report to headquarters immediately.

>> Messenger: Private Bruce Yani, Private Steiner, change to ODs and report to the orderly room.

>> Messenger: Corporal Perry, report to your company commander.

>> Messenger: When you've finished with that, report to the orderly room.

>> Messenger: Private Podoski, report to the orderly tent.

>> Yes, sir.

>> Pack your equipment, you're leaving for New York to join the Army show.

>> All Three: Yes, sir.

>> Well, that's all there is to tell you about the show.

And I'm quite sure that you're all fully aware that this is for a vitally important cause.

As to your conduct in this detail, remember that you're still in the Army.

In every theater in which you work, is an Army post in the strictest sense.

You will continue to receive your military training before and after performances.

For your military duties, you will be commanded by Sergeant McGee.

In command backstage will be Corporal Jones.

Take over, sergeant.

>> I've had strict orders from the colonel not to use any profanity today.

So I can't tell you what I think about Army shows.

Company, attention!

Right face.

Forward, march!

>> That sure cooks me up, Brown.

I lose my girl with a flag-waving speech about our job to be done before I can marry her, and what's the job?

Helping put on a show.

>> Shut up back there.

>> There's one of the nicest guys ever born.

>> That guy wasn't born, he was issued.

>> Did I say shut up or did I?

(joyful military music) >> I can see mom out there.

She's sitting with Eileen's mother.

But I don't see Eileen.

Where's Eileen?

>> I wouldn't know.

>> You wouldn't.

What do you mean you wouldn't know?

You're gonna marry that girl, aren't ya?

>> That was my intention.

>> That was your in.

What's the matter with that son of mine anyhow?

(bugle blaring) Hey, come on, hurry up, hurry up.

Johnny, Johnny why aren't these men in their places?

Don't they realize- >> There's plenty of time, dad.

All right, get going.

>> And that Mandy crowd, I'll guarantee half of those fellas haven't got their costumes on yet.

>> I'll guarantee you everything will be ready on schedule.

Now take it easy, dad.

You're trying to take care of every little detail in the whole show.

That's too much for one man to do alone.

>> Well, that's right.

I guess I have been getting in everyone's hair around here.

>> Oh, that's not true, you've been swell.

>> Okay, Johnny, I won't say another word.

>> I'll see you later.

>> Let's go.

The curtain's going up.

Focus that thing right now.

(chatter and bustle) (bugles blaring) (marching band music) ♪ You thought that many, many years ago ♪ ♪ You saw the last of every soldier show ♪ ♪ But here we are, yes here we are again ♪ ♪ A lot of water's gone across the dam ♪ ♪ Since we put makeup on for Uncle Sam ♪ ♪ To greet you as our fathers greeted you then ♪ ♪ We were drafted by our president ♪ ♪ And we march with banners unfurled ♪ ♪ We were drilled and trained to represent ♪ ♪ The greatest army in the world ♪ ♪ Yes the greatest army of actors in the world ♪ ♪ Now don't get us wrong, we're not here for long ♪ ♪ Our stay in the theater is brief ♪ ♪ We're here with the show to help get some dough ♪ ♪ Some dough for the Army Relief ♪ ♪ The much needed Army Relief ♪ ♪ But beneath the powder and beneath the paint ♪ ♪ There's a soldier brave and true ♪ ♪ If some guy in congress tells you that we ain't ♪ ♪ Let him do what we had to do ♪ ♪ And go through what we went through ♪ (audience laughing) ♪ We all have been selected from nearby and from far ♪ ♪ They asked us lots of questions ♪ ♪ They jabbed us in the arm ♪ ♪ We stood there at attention, our faces turning red ♪ ♪ The sergeant looked us over and this is what he said ♪ ♪ This is the Army, Mr. Jones ♪ ♪ No private rooms or telephone ♪ ♪ You had your breakfast in bed before ♪ ♪ But you won't have it there anymore ♪ ♪ This is the Army, Mr. Green ♪ ♪ We like the barracks nice and clean ♪ ♪ You had a housemaid to clean your floor ♪ ♪ But she won't help you out anymore ♪ ♪ Do what the buglers command ♪ ♪ They're in the Army and not in a band ♪ ♪ This is the Army, Mr. Brown ♪ ♪ You and your baby went to town ♪ ♪ She had you worried but this is war ♪ ♪ And she won't worry you anymore ♪ ♪ This is the Army, Mr. Jones ♪ ♪ No private rooms or telephone ♪ ♪ You had your breakfast in bed before ♪ ♪ But you won't have it there anymore ♪ ♪ This is the Army, Mr. Green ♪ ♪ We like the barracks nice and clean ♪ ♪ You had a housemaid to clean your floor ♪ ♪ But she won't help you out anymore ♪ ♪ Do what the buglers command ♪ ♪ They're in the Army and not in a band ♪ ♪ This is the Army, Mr. Brown ♪ ♪ You and your baby went to town ♪ ♪ She had you worried, but this is war ♪ ♪ And she won't worry you anymore, more, more ♪ ♪ No she won't worry you any ♪ ♪ More ♪ (audience applauding) >> Sergeant Dick Bernie, front and center.

>> Oh.

Neat bunch of selectives.

You know, I was a selective once.

>> Tell me, Dick, how do you like the Army now?

I said how do you like the Army, now?

>> It's a military secret.

>> Well, what's the matter with the Army?

>> It's a little too feminine.

>> Feminine?

>> Certainly, with all those women auxiliaries.

Like the AWBS, the Red Cross, the Father W canteen, the Waves, the Wags, the Woo Woo's, the Wow Wow's, and not forgetting the WAACs.

>> Well, that's fine, that shows that women are really patriotic.

>> Oh, maybe so, but when I come home from camp on a three day pass after slaving all week over a hot gun, I'm rare to go.

I got a box of flowers in the one arm and a box of candy in the other arm.

I run down the street like an idiot ignoring all the lights.

I run into my hotel, run up the elevator, knock on the bell, ring the door, the door opens, and there's my beautiful wife.

I look at her and she looks at me.

I look at her and she looks at me.

>> Well why don't you kiss her?

>> I can't, she's a first lieutenant.

(both laughing) >> Oh, she's a WAAC.

>> That's beside the point.

You know, the worst part of it is I gotta get permission from the top sergeant to even talk to her.

>> Well what's tough about that?

>> The top sergeant's my mother-in-law.

(laughing) The top sergeant's my mother-in-law.

(laughing) Maybe he hasn't got a mother-in-law.

But I'm gonna get even.

I'm gonna take 'em out on the rifle range and show 'em how to use a rifle.

>> You're gonna show your wife how to shoot a rifle?

>> My mother-in-law too.

Same bullet.

>> Well you'd have to be a marksman for that.

>> Really?

>> Now take me for instance, I'm one of the best marksmen in the country.

>> What makes you think you're one of the best marksmen in the country?

>> Well I'll give you an instance.

>> I'd like to hear an instance.

>> The other day I went hunting in the woods.

There in front of me, I saw a big beautiful tree.

Seated on one limb of the tree were 14 birds.

>> 14 birds.

I'll be right back.

14 birds were seated on one limb of the tree.

(chuckles) He don't care about nothing.

He looks like a guy from my draft board.

Everybody in.

You heard of the march of time?

Here's his brother, waste of time.

(all laughing) I caught you.

Oh, it's alive.

Come on, wipe the smile off your face.

Come on, get serious.

Get serious.

Think of your salary.

That did it.

Now what were you saying about the birds?

>> There were 14 birds on one limb.

>> Yeah.

>> I looked at my rifle, I had only one bullet.

>> Oh my.

>> Now my objective was to get the 14 birds with the one bullet.

>> Oh you can't do it.

>> I did it.

>> How?

>> I took my rifle, aimed, fired.

The bullet split the limb.

The 14 birds got their feet caught in the limb.

I walked over, sawed off the limb, put it across my shoulder, walked home with the 14 birds and it wasn't a good day for hunting that day either.

>> Do you wanna hear some real shooting?

>> Yes.

>> Well spread out, make it look like a big regiment.

Last week I was out in the woods hunting.

There in front of me I saw a big beautiful deer.

I picked up my rifle and aimed to fire when I heard a noise on my right.

What do you think it was?

>> What?

>> 500 wild ducks.

Well I don't want the deer, I wanted those ducks.

I picked up my rifle and aimed to fire when I heard noise on my left.

What do you think it was?

>> What?

>> 500 wild geese.

I didn't want the deer, I didn't want the ducks, I wanted those geese.

I picked up my rifle and aimed to fire when a snake about five feet long jumped right up in front of me.

Boy I changed my plans completely.

I don't want the deer, I don't want the ducks, I don't want the geese, I want that snake.

I picked up my rifle, aimed, fired.

The barrel split in two.

One barrel went to the right, killed the 500 ducks.

One barrel went to the left, killed the 500 geese.

The bullet went straight ahead and shot the deer.

The ramrod was going down the snake so it choked him to death.

The rebound done hit me in the shoulder.

I fell in the river, come up, my boots were full of fish.

I stooped down to take a fish out of my boot, and what do you think happened?

>> What?

>> A button snapped off my coat and killed the rabbit and it wasn't a good day for hunting that day either.

(laughing) I'd a killed more, but I was tired that day.

I'll go quietly.

(audience laughing and applauding) >> Corporal Jimmy Burrell, front and center.

You're hereby ordered to sing what may very well be every soldier's theme song.

I'm Getting Tired So I Can Sleep.

(peaceful music) ♪ Out on a hike all day, dear ♪ ♪ Part of the Army grind ♪ ♪ Weary and long the way, dear ♪ ♪ But really I don't mind ♪ ♪ I'm getting tired so I can sleep ♪ ♪ I want to sleep so I can dream ♪ ♪ I want to dream so I can be with you ♪ ♪ I've got your picture by my bed ♪ ♪ It will soon be placed beneath my head ♪ ♪ To keep me company the whole night through ♪ ♪ For a little while, whatever befalls ♪ ♪ I will see your smile till Reveille falls ♪ ♪ I hope you're tired enough to sleep ♪ ♪ And please sleep long enough to dream ♪ ♪ And look for me for I'll be dreaming too ♪ ♪ Dreaming of you the whole night through ♪ ♪ For a little while, whatever befalls ♪ ♪ I will see your smile till Reveille falls ♪ ♪ Till Reveille falls ♪ ♪ I hope you're tired enough to sleep ♪ ♪ And please sleep long enough to dream ♪ ♪ And look for me for I'll be dreaming, dreaming ♪ ♪ Dreaming ♪ ♪ Too ♪ ♪ Dreaming too ♪ (audience applauding) Detail, halt!

>> Which is your son, Mr. Truex?

>> He's the one in charge of the guard.

He's a little bigger than I am, but I don't mind.

>> CorporaI PhiI Truex, acting sergeant of the new guard reporting.

>> Your orders are to take charge of this post and all government property in view.

All guard, relieve.

Forward, march.

"Mandy" number ready.

Lights.

♪ I was strolling out one evening ♪ ♪ By the silvery moon ♪ ♪ I could here somebody singing ♪ ♪ A familiar tune ♪ ♪ So I stopped a while to listen ♪ ♪ Not a word I wanted to miss ♪ ♪ It was just somebody serenading ♪ ♪ Something like this ♪ ♪ My pretty Mandy ♪ ♪ There's a minister handy ♪ ♪ And it sure would be dandy ♪ ♪ If we'd let him make a fee ♪ ♪ If we'd let him make a fee ♪ ♪ So don't you linger ♪ ♪ Here's a ring for your finger ♪ ♪ Isn't it a humdinger ♪ ♪ Come along and let the wedding chime ♪ ♪ Bring happy time ♪ ♪ For Mandy and me ♪ (all humming) ♪ My pretty Mandy ♪ ♪ There's a minister handy ♪ ♪ And it sure would be dandy ♪ ♪ If he made a fee ♪ ♪ So don't you linger ♪ ♪ Here's a ring for your finger ♪ ♪ Isn't it a humdinger?

♪ ♪ Come along and let the wedding chime ♪ ♪ Bring happy time ♪ ♪ For Mandy and me ♪ ♪ Oh, Mandy ♪ ♪ There's a minister handy ♪ ♪ And it sure would be dandy ♪ ♪ Come along and let the wedding chime ♪ ♪ Bring happy time ♪ ♪ For Mandy ♪ ♪ Mandy ♪ ♪ Ding, dong, ding, dong ♪ (bell chiming) ♪ Let the wedding chime ring out ♪ ♪ For Mandy ♪ (clapping rhythmically) ♪ Mandy ♪ ♪ Mandy and me ♪ (audience applauding) >> Great.

Wonderful.

Ho-ho.

You kids were worrying about a minstrel number being old-fashioned.

Why, it went just as well tonight as it did in the old show.

>> Grown-up guys in dame's clothes, if that ain't a sad sack of bananas.

>> Johnny: Oh, McGee.

>> All right, hurry it up, you fellas.

That cue is barking at your heels.

Come on, step on it, speed up.

>> Hey, Johnny, Bennett hasn't shown up for Ladies of the Chorus.

>> What's the trouble, Johnny?

>> Bennett hasn't shown up.

>> Why he's the funniest man in the number.

You've got somebody to replace him, haven't ya?

>> How about Terron?

>> Oh no.

>> Dame's clothes, what must their mothers think.

>> Now listen, McGee, opening night is trouble enough without having you around.

>> Sergeant McGee, as stage manager of this troop, I order you to report to wardrobe for assignment to Ladies of the Chorus.

>> What?

Over my dead body.

>> Corporal of the Guard.

(men laughing) >> Okay, sergeant.

>> Guard: Let's go, sarge.

>> Magician act.

Curtain.

(audience applauding) (whistle blowing) >> Soldier: Prepare for inspection.

(chuckling) (blowing) (air hissing) (chuckles and mumbles) (spitting) >> Corporal Mendes, why aren't you prepared for inspection?

(Mendes mumbles) Attention.

Corporal, you're smoking.

>> Yes.

>> Get rid of that cigarette.

(coughing) Look at that floor.

I've never seen such a mess.

Pick up those papers, on the double.

I'll have you doing KP for the duration for this, Mendes.

There won't be enough potatoes in the whole state of Idaho to keep you busy.

You're out of uniform, where's your cap?

Put it on.

Correctly, one inch over the right eye.

Where's your tie?

(mumbles) Where's your tie?

Look at that blouse, the buttons are gone again.

Mendes, how many times do I have to tell you?

You can't give those things away like fraternity pins.

Now you get some buttons on there and quick.

Button up.

I said but, Mendes, you're impossible.

The day you become a soldier, I'll be pushing up daisies.

Will you pick that thing up?

Mendes, you're impossible.

Any resemblance between you and a soldier is purely propaganda.

You're a disgrace to the Army.

You, an noncommissioned officer.

Why, I've got a good mind to take your stripes back.

Mendes, how on Earth can you command the respect and attention of another soldier?

(patriotic tones) (audience applauding) (joyful military music) >> Private, sergeant, lieutenant, captain, major, colonel, general.

Men, the basis of military efficiency is teamwork.

Stand for action, let's go to work.

(joyful military music) (audience applauding) (peaceful music) (audience applauding) (audience applauding) (audience applauding) (dramatic music) (audience applauding) (drum rolls) (audience applauding) (audience laughing) (drum rolls) (dramatic drum rolls) (audience applauding) (clears throat) >> Men, we faced the task before us and we've come through triumphantly.

And as I led you through these amazing feats, it was a source of encouragement to know that you were behind me, assisting me every moment.

Of course, it's doubtful that I could've accomplished all this alone, but it's only by pitching in together, that we can build this unwavering tower of strength.

And now as we go on you can.

Now, I can't impress upon you too strongly the need for a steady foundation.

From the general down to the private.

(audience applauding) >> Ladies of the Chorus, curtain.

(pleasant music) (men laughing) >> Sergeant McGee.

And I thought I knew men.

♪ Ladies of the chorus ♪ ♪ That's what we are, it appears ♪ ♪ We were inducted and we took the vow ♪ ♪ We joined the Army, but look at us now ♪ ♪ We're ladies of the chorus ♪ ♪ Don't we look lovely, my dears ♪ ♪ In corsets and dresses ♪ ♪ And cute golden tresses ♪ ♪ To hide the dirt behind our ears ♪ ♪ I was a plumber, I quit work last summer ♪ ♪ My number come up at the start ♪ ♪ I was a printer, I quit work last winter ♪ ♪ They OK'd my lungs and my heart ♪ ♪ I was a farmer, potato embalmer, ♪ ♪ They took me away from the plow ♪ ♪ I was a packer, I chewed plug tobacco ♪ ♪ I wish I had some of it now ♪ ♪ Oh now we're in the chorus ♪ ♪ Dressed up in girdles and squeezed ♪ ♪ We're here to romance with ♪ ♪ To sing and to dance with ♪ ♪ A bunch of dirty guys like these ♪ (feet tapping) ♪ Pardon me, but aren't you the country maiden ♪ >> That's my son, the fourth from the left.

♪ Come closer won't you please ♪ ♪ I'm about to take a squeeze ♪ >> Very pretty, isn't he?

♪ I will give your face a slap ♪ (laughing) ♪ I would love to take you ♪ >> He had to join the Army to get into show business.

♪ But I can't ♪ ♪ She will treat you like a queen ♪ ♪ But I'm only 17 ♪ ♪ If you're a 17, then so's my aunt ♪ ♪ Woo ♪ ♪ Hi-Ho, I want you to behave ♪ (performers whistling and tapping) ♪ Hi-Ho, I think you need a shave ♪ (whistling) ♪ Do you think that you can get me into pictures ♪ ♪ If you're nice to me, I'll get you on the screen ♪ ♪ How about a movie test ♪ ♪ Not with hair upon your chest ♪ ♪ And now it's time to dance, but keep it clean ♪ (tap dancing) (audience applauding and laughing) >> Soldier: Hey, sergeant.

>> McGee: Scram.

>> Hello, Maisie.

>> Put up your dukes.

>> Now wait a minute, I'm not gonna hit a lady.

>> What?

>> Come on, fellas, hurry up.

You're on next.

Well, how's it going, men?

>> Soldier: Great.

>> Mr. Jones, that audience is sure treating us great.

>> Well you fellas deserve it.

See, that's kind of a nice feeling, isn't it?

>> It sure is.

>> Hello, Joe.

Nervous?

>> Mr. Jones, I quit worrying the day I got into uniform.

All I know is I'm in Uncle Sam Army and we on God's side.

>> Well that's a fine way to feel and I don't know anyone that could say it better than you, sergeant.

>> And we're right behind ya, Joe.

>> Good luck to you, good luck.

>> Let's take it from them.

>> All right, next number on stage.

>> Johnny, is that the music?

>> Yeah, yeah, thanks.

(all chattering) (jazz music) (scatting) ♪ There's a change in fashion that shows ♪ ♪ In those Lennox Avenue clothes ♪ ♪ Mr. Dude has disappeared with his flashy tie ♪ ♪ You'll see in the Harlem Esquire ♪ ♪ What the well-dressed man will desire ♪ ♪ When he's strutting down the streets with his sweetie-pie ♪ (scatting) ♪ Sun tan, shade of green, or an olive drab color scheme ♪ ♪ That's what the well-dressed man in Harlem will wear ♪ ♪ Dressed up in ODs with a tin hat for overseas ♪ ♪ That's what the well-dressed man in Harlem will wear ♪ ♪ Top hat, white tie, and tails no more.

♪ ♪ They've been put away till after the war ♪ ♪ If you want to know, take a look at Brown Bomber Joe ♪ ♪ That's what the well-dressed man in Harlem will wear ♪ ♪ Sun tan, shade of green, or an olive drab color scheme ♪ ♪ That's what the well-dressed man in Harlem will wear ♪ ♪ Dressed up in ODs with a tin hat for overseas ♪ ♪ That's what the well-dressed man in Harlem will wear ♪ ♪ Top hat, white tie, tails no more ♪ ♪ They've been put away till after the war ♪ ♪ If you want to know take a look at Brown Bomber Joe ♪ ♪ That's what the well-dressed man in Harlem will wear ♪ ♪ All right ♪ (bugles blaring) (tap dancing) (cello music) (rhythmic music) (feet tapping) >> Hi-ho, Silver.

>> Don't stomp, don't stomp.

(scatting) (audience applauding) (rhythmic music) (feet tapping) (audience applauding) >> Oh, sarge, there's a couple of fellas at the stage door that wanna take you out.

>> Go on, you flat-footed can't march out of step hammerhead.

>> You don't have to take that.

>> Why, if you weren't wearing glasses, I'd punch you right in the nose.

>> I ain't wearing glasses.

>> Don't be changing the subject.

>> Ah, you're a bigger dope than your old man used to be.

>> You'll never live to be as big a dope as my old man.

Right, pop?

>> Right, son.

What am I saying?

>> On stage, Navy number.

♪ This is the Army, Mr. Jones ♪ ♪ No private rooms or telephone ♪ >> Soldier: How about the Navy?

>> Navy Man: Yeah, how about the Navy?

>> It's about time.

Now you're looking at men.

>> Mm-hmm, the best in the Army.

(shouting and hollering) (whistling) >> Soldier: Play Anchors Aweigh.

(audience applauding) ♪ The Army this, the Army that, ♪ ♪ Is all we heard from where we sat ♪ ♪ Now how about a cheer for the Navy ♪ ♪ The Army's great, the Army's tough ♪ ♪ But don't you think we've heard enough ♪ ♪ So how about a cheer for the Navy ♪ ♪ We know that Mr. Stimson is solid as the rocks ♪ ♪ But how about an orchid for Secretary Knox ♪ ♪ The Army may be in the groove ♪ ♪ But Walter Winchell won't approve ♪ ♪ Unless you give a cheer for the Navy ♪ ♪ Hip hip hooray ♪ ♪ We haven't got long to stay ♪ ♪ So how about one bouquet ♪ ♪ For the Navy ♪ ♪ One word of praise, let it flow from your lips ♪ ♪ One cheer and then we'll go back to our ships ♪ ♪ Hip hip hooray ♪ ♪ The Army has had its say ♪ ♪ You're letting them get away ♪ ♪ With the gravy ♪ ♪ Just let them know ♪ ♪ That an Army show ♪ ♪ Could never be a hit without the Navy ♪ (boisterous military music) ♪ The Army's what you may prefer ♪ ♪ But in the social register ♪ ♪ Is where you'll have to look for the Navy ♪ ♪ If you would like to touch the gilt ♪ ♪ Of Astor or of Vanderbilt ♪ ♪ You'll have to come around to the Navy ♪ ♪ The show was in the alley, it simply wouldn't do ♪ ♪ Until the big finale with the Navy white and blue ♪ ♪ The Army sails across the foam ♪ ♪ The Navy always brings them home ♪ ♪ So how about a cheer for the Navy ♪ ♪ Hip hip hooray ♪ ♪ We haven't got long to stay ♪ ♪ So how about one bouquet for the Navy ♪ ♪ One word of praise, let it flow from your lips ♪ ♪ One cheer and then we'll go back to our ships ♪ ♪ Hip hip hooray ♪ ♪ The Army has had its say ♪ ♪ You're letting them get away ♪ ♪ With the gravy ♪ ♪ Just let them know that an Army show ♪ ♪ Would never be a hit without the Navy ♪ ♪ Give a cheer, give a cheer, give a cheer, give a cheer ♪ ♪ For the Navy ♪ ♪ Just make it clear ♪ ♪ That a rousing cheer ♪ ♪ Is very much in order for the N-A-V-Y ♪ ♪ The Navy ♪ (cannon booming) ♪ Navy ♪ (audience applauding) >> Get changed for the Air Corps number now.

Anderson, is everything all set for the Stage Door Canteen number, props and everything?

>> Yeah, I think so.

This just came for you.

All right, get on stage, you prima donnas.

Let's go.

Get on for Stage Door Canteen.

>> Hey, fellas, get load of this wire.

>> Anybody I know, John?

>> We're going on tour.

What do you know, Boston, Philadelphia, Washington.

>> Washington?

Hey, wouldn't it be something if the president came to see us, the chief himself.

>> Yeah, wouldn't it be something if we could get this makeup off our kissers before the war's over.

(men laughing) (upbeat military music) (audience applauding) (audience applauding) (audience applauding) >> McGee: Right.

Hut.

>> Cut 'em right, march.

>> All right, miss.

>> Eileen: Thank you.

>> Teddy, take over.

>> Ted: Set 'em right, march.

>> Well, say something, hello at least.

>> Hello.

>> Hello.

>> This uniform.

>> Red Cross auxiliary.

I'm helping out back home in my spare time.

>> Did you come to see the show?

>> Oh to see dad and the president.

And you.

>> Me?

>> I've missed you a lot, Johnny.

I tried to convince myself you're not worth bothering about but I just haven't got the willpower, I guess.

>> I've missed you too, plenty.

>> Eileen: Thanks.

>> Eileen, there's something I'd like to explain.

>> About our marriage?

>> Yes.

I guess there are a million guys thinking of the same thing, what to do about their girl back home.

Well, it was when I went to see Mrs. Nelson, just before I enlisted.

You remember when Blake was killed at Pearl Harbor.

>> I know, but what has that got to do with us?

>> Well, she was telling me about Blake's widow, Dorothy, just a kid, but a widow with a baby.

Lonely and sorta helpless.

With so much pride, she wouldn't impose on anyone.

You'd be like that, Eileen.

That's no future for you.

>> But, darling, you weren't killed at Pearl Harbor.

Besides, how could I be a widow with a baby if we don't get married?

>> Well that's just why we don't get married until this war is over.

>> Soldier: Corporal Jones, they're waiting for you.

>> Coming.

You understand, don't you?

Don't you?

Will I see you after the show?

>> I don't know.

>> Please, say you'll meet me right here.

>> Johnny.

>> You better hurry.

>> All right, men.

You know who's going to be out in front tonight, our boss, the President of the United States.

Now you guys have given a lot of great shows, but tonight's gotta be the best one of all.

All right, sergeant.

(horns honking) (crowd chattering) >> Hey, Johnny, look.

There's the president.

And General Marshall.

And the Secretary of State.

(presidential march song) (audience applauding) >> Gosh, just like he looks in the news reels.

>> Hey, fellas, the president.

Gee, I'd like to go out and thank him for that raise he gave us.

>> Canteen number.

(upbeat piano music) (tap dancing) (cheerful band music) ♪ Merrily, we appear on the scene ♪ ♪ Hostesses of the Stage Door Canteen ♪ ♪ Sponsored by a lady with the wisdom of an owl ♪ ♪ Waiting for instructions from our captain, Jane Cowl ♪ >> Good evening, ladies.

♪ Good evening, Ms. Cowl ♪ >> Tonight's a special occasion, so be especially bright.

The cast of This Is the Army will be our guest tonight.

They must have fun, but don't be fools.

It must be done according to the rules.

♪ You must be ladies ♪ ♪ Don't worry, Ms. Cowl ♪ ♪ Merrily, we appear on the scene ♪ ♪ Hostesses of the Stage Door Canteen ♪ ♪ Entertaining soldiers who are going off to war ♪ ♪ Glad to be of service but we could do much more ♪ ♪ We could do more for the boys ♪ ♪ And greatly add to their joys ♪ ♪ But we don't get very far ♪ ♪ The rules and regulations are we mustn't be seen ♪ ♪ Outside the canteen with a soldier ♪ ♪ They each could do with a gal ♪ ♪ 'Twould greatly help their morale ♪ ♪ But we simply must resist ♪ ♪ We take an oath when we enlist ♪ ♪ To never be found ♪ ♪ Canoodling around with a soldier ♪ (audience laughing) >> Ms. Cowl, Ms. Cowl.

Oh, Ms. Cowl, oh, Ms. Cowl.

(whispering) >> No.

Really?

Oh you bearer of great news.

(dolphin-esque laughter) Where, out there?

This passes anything I'd hoped for.

Boys, you'll never guess.

It's Lynn Fontanne.

(audience applauding) >> Ah.

(audience laughing) What a lovely group of soldier boys we have here tonight.

Now I must do something for you.

But what can I do?

I have no talent for dancing or singing.

But I have got Alfred.

(slow laughing) Where is Alfred?

>> Alfred who?

>> Alfred Fontanne.

Alfred Lunt.

Alfred.

Alfred!

>> Where are they?

Where are they?

Oh, I thought it was Abbott and Costello.

>> Alfred, I want you to get out of that kitchen and help me entertain these men.

>> Lynn, darling, I experienced a rarer ecstasy in that kitchen than I have ever experienced on any stage.

And when eight o'clock comes, instead of the stage manager knocking on the dressing room door and calling, "15 minutes, Mr. Lunt," Ethel Barrymore says, "Hamburgers."

Hamburgers.

(dolphin-esque laughing) "Hamburgers."

And I asked Charles Boyer how he'd like to have hamburgers, and Charles Boyer says, "I adore them."

They remind me of the casbah of Paris and pink champagne.

"Next week I'll be back at the same time with Hedy Lamarr, and I hope you'll receive her with your usual discriminating kindness.

So until then, au revoir."

(applauding and laughing) And I asked Herbert Marshall how he likes hamburgers.

And Herbert Marshall says, "Many people ask my opinion of hamburgers.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's more than an opinion, it's an adoration.

But hamburgers throw themselves away in this frantic desperation to do something.

And in the end, does anyone love hamburgers?

Do they love anyone?

No.

But do I love them?

Why, you silly little things, of course I love them.

What a question."

(laughing and applauding) (violin music) ♪ Old Mr. Absentminded, that's me ♪ ♪ Just as forgetful as I can be ♪ ♪ I've got the strangest sort of a mind ♪ ♪ I'm always leaving something behind ♪ ♪ I left my heart at the Stage Door Canteen ♪ ♪ I left it there with a girl named Eileen ♪ ♪ I kept her serving doughnuts ♪ ♪ Till all she had were gone ♪ ♪ I sat there dunking doughnuts ♪ ♪ Till she caught on ♪ ♪ I must go back to the Army routine ♪ ♪ And every doughboy knows what that will mean ♪ ♪ A soldier boy without a heart ♪ ♪ Has two strikes on him from the start ♪ ♪ And my heart's at the Stage Door Canteen ♪ ♪ He must go back to the Army routine ♪ ♪ And every doughboy knows what that will mean ♪ ♪ A soldier boy without a heart ♪ ♪ Has two strikes on him from the start ♪ ♪ And my heart's at the Stage Door Canteen ♪ ♪ My heart ♪ ♪ Is at the Stage Door ♪ ♪ Canteen ♪ (audience applauding) >> I gotta get off, I gotta.

>> What is it now?

>> I'm having a baby right this minute, I'm having a baby.

>> A baby?

>> They just told me.

I thought my wife was in the theater, but she's at the hospital.

I've gotta go.

>> All right, now calm down, calm down, it's all right.

Go ahead and have your baby.

>> Thanks, Mr. Jones.

>> But don't forget to take off that costume.

>> Yeah, the kid won't know which one's his mother.

>> Hello, fellas.

>> Fellas: Hello, Jerry.

>> That's it, let's go, boys.

>> My golly, what a lucky bunch of stiffs you are to be in on a command performance.

>> Don't we know it.

>> Now listen, if anybody misses a cue or gets off the beat out there tonight, I'll strangle 'em personally, do you understand?

>> Sure, Jerry, we won't let you down.

>> I know you won't, Max.

You should see the crowd out there.

Every bigshot in town.

And tonight I'm gonna take a look at the number from the front myself.

I wanna see how the boss likes it.

Well, good luck to you all, and put the number over as you never put it over before.

Good luck.

>> Fellas: Okay.

>> What he wouldn't give to be in the number tonight.

>> You bet.

>> And how.

>> Say, fellas, wait a minute.

>> Air Corps number.

Curtain.

(violin music) ♪ What does a flyer think of ♪ ♪ When he's up there in the sky ♪ ♪ Ask any army pilot ♪ ♪ And he'll answer with a sigh ♪ ♪ While I'm there in the air ♪ ♪ With my head in the clouds ♪ ♪ I think of someone I love ♪ ♪ And I know down below she is thinking of me ♪ ♪ While I am up there above ♪ ♪ When the night is clear and the bombardier ♪ ♪ Drops a bomb that's wired for sound ♪ ♪ How I yearn to return with my head in the clouds ♪ ♪ To the one I love on the ground ♪ ♪ While I'm there in the air with my head in the clouds ♪ ♪ I think of someone I love ♪ ♪ And I know down below she is thinking of me ♪ ♪ While I am up there above ♪ ♪ When the night is clear and the bombardier ♪ ♪ Drops a bomb that's wired for sound ♪ ♪ How I yearn to return with my head in the clouds ♪ ♪ To the one I love on the ground ♪ (siren blaring) ♪ Eagles, American eagles ♪ ♪ America sings of her wings in the sky ♪ ♪ Eagles, American eagles ♪ ♪ America's strong just as long as they fly ♪ ♪ More bombers to attack with ♪ ♪ More bombers till the skies are black with ♪ ♪ Eagles, American eagles ♪ ♪ America sings of her kings in the sky ♪ ♪ Eagles ♪ ♪ American eagles ♪ ♪ America sings of her wings in the sky ♪ ♪ Eagles, American eagles ♪ ♪ America's strong just as long as they fly ♪ ♪ Give us some more bombers to attack with ♪ ♪ More bombers till the skies are black with ♪ ♪ Eagles ♪ ♪ American eagles ♪ ♪ America sings ♪ ♪ Of her kings ♪ ♪ In the sky ♪ (audience applauding) >> Hello, darling.

>> Hello.

>> Well, how's it going?

>> Oh, wonderful.

Jerry, I'm worried about Eileen.

She hasn't come in yet.

>> Huh?

Oh, don't worry about those kids, she'll turn up.

Say, mom, I've got some news for you.

After tonight, you're gonna get your old man home again for good.

>> Is the show closing?

>> The boys don't know it yet, but this is the last performance.

>> What are you bawling about, mom?

I'm awfully glad to see you, lady.

>> Oh, Ted, I want to tell you something quickly while I still have the courage.

>> Is something wrong?

>> No, it's.

I just want you to know it's all right.

I mean, about the Army.

I was wrong before.

This is what I raised you for, to be a credit to your country and to yourself.

>> Ted: Thanks, lady.

>> So, don't worry anymore, son.

Just take care of yourself, if you can.

And Ted?

>> Ted: Yes?

>> Give it to them.

>> Don't you worry, mom.

(audience applauding) >> Ladies and gentlemen, we take you back 25 years to another war, another soldier show.

We present an original scene from Yip Yip Yaphank with Irving Berlin.

(audience applauding) (bugle blaring) (upbeat military music) >> Maxie: Attention.

Murphy.

>> Here.

>> O'Neil.

>> Yo.

>> Dylan.

>> Here.

>> Barkley.

>> Here.

>> Jones.

Jones.

Jerry Jones.

(audience applauding) Jerry Jones, the great musical comedy star.

One of the original members of this number in 1917.

(audience applauding) (upbeat military music) Sergeant Jones, take over.

>> Attention.

Riano.

>> Here.

>> Burns.

>> Right.

>> Clemmons.

>> Here.

>> Spencer.

>> Yo.

>> Berlin.

Berlin.

At ease, men.

That's the second time this week Berlin has failed to show up.

Corporal, you go and find him and tell him if he doesn't report to me in five minutes, I'll turn him into the lieutenant.

>> Okay.

>> Attention.

Right dress.

(tap dancing) Left step, march.

(tap dancing) Backward, march.

As you were.

At ease.

Attention.

In cadence.

Exercise.

(tap dancing) (audience applauding) Attention.

Well, corporal.

>> I just spoke to Berlin and he said, see if the Army couldn't get along without him this morning.

>> Oh he did, did he?

Take over, corporal.

I'll take charge of Berlin.

>> Maxie: Left face.

Forward, ho.

(audience applauding) >> Come on, come on, time to get up.

Come on, sleeping beauty, wake up.

♪ You gotta get up, you gotta get up ♪ ♪ You gotta get up this morning ♪ (audience applauding) ♪ I've been a soldier quite a while ♪ ♪ And I would like to state ♪ ♪ The life is simply wonderful, the Army food is great ♪ ♪ I sleep with 97 others in a wooden hut ♪ ♪ I love them all, they all love me ♪ ♪ It's very lovely but ♪ ♪ Oh how I hate to get up in the morning ♪ ♪ Oh how I'd love to remain in bed ♪ ♪ For the hardest blow of all is to hear the bugler call ♪ ♪ You gotta get up, you gotta get up ♪ ♪ You gotta get up this morning ♪ ♪ Someday I'm going to murder the bugler ♪ ♪ Someday they're going to find him dead ♪ ♪ I'll amputate his reveille, and step upon it heavily ♪ ♪ And spend the rest of my life in bed ♪ ♪ Oh how I hate to get up in the morning ♪ ♪ Oh how I'd like to remain in bed ♪ ♪ For the hardest blow of all is to hear the bugler call ♪ ♪ You gotta get up, you gotta get up ♪ ♪ You gotta get up this morning ♪ ♪ Someday I'm going to murder the bugler ♪ ♪ Someday you're going to find him dead ♪ ♪ And then I'll get that other pup ♪ ♪ The guy who wakes the bugler up ♪ ♪ And spend the rest of my life in bed ♪ (audience applauding) >> Hey, corporal, there's an attractive young lady waiting for you outside.

There she is.

>> Mr. Jones: Oh, thanks.

Eileen, is anything wrong?

>> Johnny, this is Chaplain Burke.

>> Congratulations, corporal.

>> What'd I do?

>> Corporal Jones, I've decided that you don't know what the war is all about.

We're free people fighting for the right to remain free, to work, and to be married, and to raise a family in a fine, decent country.

>> Eileen, honey, I know that.

>> Then why do you act like we've lost the war?

Open your heart, Johnny.

We're all in this fight together.

Women, as well as men.

Let's share our responsibilities.

I wanna be a part of you, Johnny.

A part that goes with you on the battlefield.

Someone to come back to.

This is a free United States, dog gone it, if we wanna get married, let's get married.

(sobbing) >> Could you cut it a little short, sir?

I'm in the next number.

>> Well, rationing is the order of the day.

We'll need witnesses.

>> Oh hey, Frank, will you get my father.

>> Sure.

>> Mine too.

>> Okay.

>> Forgive me, honey.

>> You oughta be ashamed.

I even had to buy the ring.

>> Burke: To have and to hold from this day forward.

>> To have and to hold from this day forward.

>> Burke: For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health.

>> For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health.

>> For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health.

>> Burke: To love and to cherish until death do us part.

>> To love and to cherish until death do us part.

>> To love and to cherish until death do us part.

(audience applauding) >> McGee: Company, attention.

Present arms.

Order, ho.

>> Put the men at rest, sergeant.

>> Parade, rest.

>> Ladies and gentlemen, it is with regret and pride that I make this announcement to you, to the members of the cast and to their families.

This is the final performance of your soldier show.

In a few minutes, when the curtain comes down for the last time, the men will be ordered back to their combat units.

Men, you'll have done a great job for a great cause.

(audience applauding) ♪ 'Twas not so long ago ♪ ♪ We'd sailed to meet the foe ♪ ♪ And thought our fighting days were done ♪ ♪ We thought twas over then ♪ ♪ But now we're in again ♪ ♪ To win the war that wasn't won ♪ ♪ This time we will all make certain ♪ ♪ That this time is the last time ♪ ♪ This time we will not say curtain ♪ ♪ Till we ring it down in their own hometown ♪ ♪ For this time we are out to finish ♪ ♪ The job we started then ♪ ♪ Clean it up for all time this time ♪ ♪ So we won't have to do it again ♪ ♪ Dressed up to win, we're dressed up to win ♪ ♪ Dressed up for victory ♪ ♪ We are just beginning and we won't stop winning ♪ ♪ Till the world is free ♪ ♪ This time we will all make certain ♪ ♪ That this time is the last time ♪ ♪ This time we will not say curtain ♪ ♪ Till we ring it down in their own hometown ♪ ♪ For this time we are out to finish ♪ ♪ The job we started then ♪ ♪ Clean it up for all time this time ♪ ♪ So we won't have to do it again ♪ ♪ Dressed up to win, we're dressed up to win ♪ ♪ Dressed up for victory ♪ ♪ We are just beginning and we won't stop winning ♪ ♪ Till the world is free ♪ ♪ This time we will all make certain ♪ ♪ That this time is the last time ♪ ♪ This time we will not say curtain ♪ ♪ Till we ring it down in their own hometown ♪ ♪ For this time we are out to finish ♪ ♪ The job we started then ♪ ♪ Clean it up for all time this time ♪ ♪ So we won't have to do it again ♪ ♪ We'll fight to the finish this time ♪ ♪ And we'll never have to do it again ♪ (audience applauding) (dramatic music)