(light piano music) - [Kathy Bruyere] It wasn't easy because all of us were, quote, trailblazers or doing firsts, and I had more than my share of firsts.

(light piano music) - [Rex Allen Kern] Kathy, who is probably one of our main volunteers, she's been here since the cemetery opened.

She's just a great person.

I mean, she's very approachable.

My visitors and my families that come in respond to that, and so immediately she puts them at ease.

- Selfless is is the word I think that I use most to describe her, and she was a pioneer and a trailblazer when it comes to careers for women in the military.

- Well, I've always been a feminist even before we even used that word, because I was always told growing up there was nothing I could not do.

My parents encouraged me to go out there, and I was the oldest of six.

Probably has something to do with it.

I went to Catholic schools when we were moving around in the Army, and in my college, which was the Catholic Women's College, it's now co-ed, we were told there was nothing women could not do and we were expected to get out there and do it.

- [TJ Bruyere] Early in Kathy's career, really the only opportunities for women were in admin.

She became the first woman chief of staff for an admiral in the Navy and she became the commanding officer of the Naval Training Station in Orlando.

She was also the first woman to have that job.

- [Kathy] How does one end up on the cover of Time Magazine?

Well, it was in December of 1975.

They were apparently working on a whole issue dedicated to women because the next year was the International Year of Women.

- [TJ] It was a time in our country in the mid-seventies when the women's movement was getting more attention and Time Magazine decided to profile 10 women instead of a man of the year as they've traditionally done, and she was chosen because she was an up and coming naval officer at the time, - [Kathy] I was stationed here in San Diego, working for the Commander of Training Command Pacific as the flag secretary.

I was the first Navy woman to ever work for an admiral as the flag secretary, so that was sort of fame there.

The journalist told me she had already been out interviewing people like Billie Jean King and a couple other famous women and I thought, "Wow, even if we just get mentioned, this'll be great for the military."

About a week later, the issue came out and the whole thing was about women and there were 12 women on the cover and I was one of them.

There was a whole section on women in the military and it talked about how in the military at that time, women had made a lot more strides than they were allowed to make in the civilian world, which was a very positive thing.

(light music) It was very exciting for about two weeks.

(chuckles) and that was the cover of Time Magazine.

(light music) - [TJ] Kathy really had some big priorities in her life, her family, my father, her grandkids, the United States Navy and the country as a whole.

My dad was a fighter pilot.

It was during the Vietnam War, so he flew, I think six tours of duty.

My dad was a really outgoing guy and Kathy was just a good caring individual.

Also funny, both of them, very social, so if you knew either one or both of them, you would know why they could fall in love with each other.

(light music) We live in a small town, Navy town, Coronado, California, and every year, 4th of July we have this parade and it really is small town, USA.

(people chattering) Kathy would have me go out at 5:00 in the morning, set our chairs up, (people clapping) get our blanket there, so that she and the grandkids had a spot to watch that parade.

Every time a flag came by and she was standing up and letting everybody else know to stand up, pay their respects.

(light music) She's a great example of a woman who could be a strong leader in the military and the workforce and a role model to women, but at the same time, that doesn't mean that same individual can't be a loving wife and grandmother and stepmother because they are different roles and just like men have those different roles as well.

You know, you can be a hard-ass and still be a loving father and husband.

(light music) When I was younger, I just assumed the reason she was on Time Magazine was because of this lawsuit, but no, she was on the cover of Time Magazine based on her up and coming career as a naval officer and then subsequently became involved in the lawsuit.

- I sued the Secretary of Defense.

(chuckles) It was 1976.

I was a lieutenant commander.

A group of us here in San Diego were concerned about the first women aviators, three of whom stationed here, helicopter pilot.

They could go out into the ocean while there were exercises going on, but they could not land on a ship.

So in other words, you couldn't do your job.

It kept getting back to the law that was on the books since 1948 that said Navy women could not serve aboard combat ships or aircraft.

(light music) So in my case, even though I knew I would be too senior to go out to sea and get all that training and start over, I couldn't do a couple of things, even at an air station or a naval station, because you had to be, quote, qualified for command at sea.

It was a catch-22 because even though you were being trained to do the same thing as the men and you went through the same schools, (water splashes) had to go through the same qualifications, but you could not go out and do your job at sea.

- [TJ] There were three or four other women that were already part of this, and Kathy being involved is what helped bring more attention to the cause.

- [Kathy] Just a few months before, three Navy enlisted women filed a lawsuit challenging that very constitutionality of the same law.

In order to make the case even stronger, they suggested that three women officers join and then they could get it certified as a class action suit, which would mean that every woman in the Navy was a part of the lawsuit.

So we joined the lawsuit, it's Owens versus Brown.

Joanna Owens was an interior communications petty officer.

Harold Brown was the Secretary of Defense.

I'm sure there were some friends out there who said, "She's doing what?"

"You're gonna do what?"

Some people thought it was treason or mutiny.

In the spring of the following year, the case went to court and it landed in the court of Judge John Sirica of Watergate fame.

And Judge Sirica declared that the law was unconstitutional, we were being denied equal protection, and that in his opinion, because he couldn't repeal a law, Congress should get hot and repeal the law and that the Navy should move forward with plans to open up opportunities for women at sea.

And that was the end of the lawsuit.

So it was considered a major landmark civil rights case.

(light music) (light music) - The most touching moment in time for me with my relationship with Kathy was near the end of my father's life.

My father had Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, and she was an amazing caregiver.

The love that she shared with my father, and ultimately through us, was really the thing that I'm most grateful for to Kathy.

And to see what these diseases do to a man, it's heartbreaking, but having Kathy there to care for him in the most loving, supportive way was just inspirational to us as well.

(light music) - Kathy was holding onto her husband's remains, so he could be buried here.

She gets off work and she lives south of here, so she goes out and visits her husband before she goes home.

- My husband, Tom Bruyere, who's been here since January of 2011, if he were alive, he would be here working as a volunteer.

I mean, he just loved meeting people and was really good at it.

I feel like I'm close to him being here, and that's very reassuring.

- All my volunteers have a family member buried here, it's normally a spouse, and so that's what attracts them to come here because their spouse or their veteran gave so much.

Now they want to give back.

Kathy puts a lot of people at ease and I get a lot of good compliments from Kathy.

Sometimes I feel like I work for her versus she works for me.

(light piano music) - On July 3rd, 2020, Kathy calls me and lets me know that she's got a pain in her leg and it's getting hard to walk and thinks we should go down and have it checked out.

And ultimately, she is diagnosed with cancer in her leg and other parts of her body.

Typical of Kathy, a year prior, she had been diagnosed with uterine cancer and had a procedure, but she never told us that she had cancer.

And as far as she knew, it was all taken care of.

So this had returned, but ultimately the cancer had spread too much throughout her body and in short, in two short months, she passed away on September 3rd, 2020.

(light piano music) I said at her service, and I talked specifically to my daughters and other young girls that were there and said, this is someone that proved that you can do what you want in life, and you set out to do something and if someone tells you you can't, you figure out a way to to get it done.

My daughter said to me, "Grandma was a badass," and she was.

And it was a side of Grandma that these children never saw because all they saw was this loving grandmother.

It's also a valuable lesson that you can be that loving, caring person and still be that badass and get things done for yourself and for others.

And that's the lesson that she instilled in not just these young women, but in everybody.

(light music) - [Kathy] We had people say to us, "They'll never be on submarines."

Women are on submarines.

"They'll never fly in combat."

Not only are they flying in combat, we see them in our beautiful national cemeteries having been killed in combat because they were there voluntarily doing what they wanted to do.

There are so many opportunities now.

Women are doing everything in the Navy and I just delight in seeing it every time I see someone doing something new or doing something that I knew they would be able to do when I couldn't do it or the other women around me couldn't do it.

We just delight in that.

We're just so happy to see that happen.

I just say, go for it.

There's nothing you can't do.

(inspirational orchestral music) (inspirational orchestral music) (light guitar music) (person laughing) (whip cracks)