(upbeat rock music) - [Tom] On this questionable episode of UTR, we torture you with some of our very favorite Tomfoolery.

And we didn't have to dig deep because you know me, I'll go anywhere, do anything, and talk to anybody to crack myself up.

You'll see bits that went right, bits that went wrong, and some that were even almost... Well, funny.

So get ready for a whole bunch of reasons why I never should've quit my day job.

(gentle piano music) - [Deep Male Voice] The perfect summer has a voice.

If we listen close enough, we can hear it.

It whispers, "One more game, one more swim, one more round."

And it speaks softly through the cool nights, murmuring, "One more log, one more marshmallow, one more walk along the shore."

The perfect summer is waiting.

The perfect summer is Pure Michigan.

Your lake trip begins at michigan.org.

- [Male voice] The Michigan Economic Development Corporation is dedicated to enabling economic prosperity.

The MEDC markets Michigan with the focus on growing businesses and building resilient communities in our state.

- [Female Voice] A visit to the Stahls Auto Collection will take you back to a time when cars were more than just a way to get around.

A fantastic assortment of gas pumps, neon signs, and automated music machines, dating back 150 years, that must be seen and heard, info at stahlsauto.com.

Destinationannarbor.org is your gateway to Chelsea, Dexter, Manchester, Milan, Saline, Ypsilanti, and Ann Arbor.

Find out the best spots to eat, festivals to attend, activities to do, and places to discover at destinationannarbor.org.

(upbeat music) - I've been around the world, but there's one place I keep coming back to.

And the more I explore, the more I realize it's the place to be.

I'm Tom Daldin, and this is Under The Radar-- (car engine revving) Loud car.

I'm Tom Daldin, and this is Under The Radar, Michigan.

(clears throat) Hold on.

I'm Tom Daldin, and this is Under The Radar, Michigan.

(laughing) My ship's here.

I gotta go.

(upbeat rock music) (transition music) You know, I like my name.

I really do.

But what's with all the depressing Toms?

Like Peeping Tom, Doubting Thomas.

Then, there's a Tom the Piper's son who stole the farmer's pig.

What's up with that?

What we need is a fun and frivolous Tom.

Someone like... Well, me.

Well, you guessed it.

And please, accept our apologies because for the next 30 minutes, we're gonna subject you to some vintage UTR Tomfoolery.

Yep, over the past 10 years, I've gone way out of my way to be a bit on the silly side, and I'm both proud and ashamed of that fact.

But my philosophy has always been work hard, have fun, then after that, have some fun.

So pour yourself a Tom Collins, whatever that is, and get ready for some Tom Terrific minus the Manfred.

And since Manfred was a mammal, why don't we take a look at some times where I actually tried to talk to some?

(chuckles) Animals, that is.

Take a look.

(transition music) (rooster crowing) (country music) Who's a good peacock?

(Tom imitates car engine revving) We can't get the peacock to cooperate, and I'm actually an authorized peacock whisperer.

(yells) Can you kids make a Reuben sandwich?

Is it, like, totally cool being a cow or what?

(laughs) And I can wail peacocks.

(imitates peacock wailing) Hold on a second.

I'll get him out here.

There, see?

(peacock wailing) See?

It works every time.

How about baloney?

Oh, now we've got his butt.

This is not gonna work.

Can I have a second of your time?

Okay, he'll take baloney.

Speak some German.

Aha!

I knew it.

I got him.

(laughs) Is this thing gonna bite me?

Well, I'm here with the official mascot of the race up here in Marquette, Banshee the dog.

And just arrange for an interview.

Excuse me.

Dear?

Banshee?

What is it?

- It's a giant toad, you silly man.

- Do they talk?

- Boys do a little chirping.

- A little chirping?

- That's about it.

This is a girl.

- Usually, the girls talk more.

I didn't say that, did I?

- [Group] Whoa!

- You missed me.

(laughs) Oh, my gosh!

I don't think I've ever gone that much.

Well, they say animals are unpredictable.

And actually, he's about five pounds.

(group laughs) Well, that went well.

Scott, my first question about giraffes is do they bite?

- Well, no, they don't have a lot of teeth.

They have a lot of tongue.

They don't have a lot of teeth.

- [Tom] I didn't see that.

It's purple too.

- [Scott] That's the 22 inches of giraffe tongue there.

- [Tom] What's his name?

- His name is Jabari, and he's getting impatient with me.

- Can I-- Oh, thank you.

Can I part him?

- No, you don't part him.

- Oh, don't part him.

- He doesn't like to be parted, He just likes to be fed, Tom.

- I don't know why they call them heads of cattle.

Those don't look right heads to me.

- [Man In Green T-shirt] Those are definitely not heads.

(Tom laughs) - So are you enjoying the... Oh.

So are you competing this year?

(crowd cheering) In what event?

You're doing the high jump?

Yeah?

Good luck.

So are you here as a spectator, or are you actually participating?

You don't say.

(crowd murmuring) Oh, I got a kiss.

(laughs) This is Critchlow Alligator Sanctuary and if you're a little-- (retches) Sorry.

This is Critchlow Alligator Sanctuary.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Are you upset with me?

(laughs goofily) This is-- Where are we?

Oh, Critchlow.

It's okay.

This is Critchlow Alligator Sanctuary.

And if you like some fun and adventure wrapped up in your education, this is your place.

Right, sweetie pie?

(alligator squeaks) I'm gonna name him Steve.

Steve's a good fish name.

Come on, Steve.

(fishing reel squeaking) How long does this take?

So that's Elmer?

- This is Elmer.

We've had Elmer on the farm for nine years.

- You're sure that's not a hippopotamus?

- Nope.

Actually, we've taken a couple of 100 pounds of weight off of him.

- How old is he?

- Well, that we really don't know.

He's been here nine years.

- Oh, Bayoma is leaving.

- [Sherry] He's going out for a suntan.

- Holy cow.

- [Distant Female Voice] He's getting a drink.

- Holy pig.

So folks, next time you're in Northville, take the five minute drive, and come say hi to Sherry, Elmer, and all my new furry friends at Mayberry Farm.

Heck!

If you're lucky, I might just be volunteering that day.

(rooster crowing) Or not.

Sure, sometimes I only make myself laugh, but somebody's gotta do it.

And speaking of doing it, here's a few times where we use TV magic to make me look a lot cooler than I actually am.

And what you're about to see may not be what it seems.

You'll see.

Or will you?

(transition music) It has been a while since I've been on a board, but let's see if I still got it.

(upbeat rock music) I guess I still got it.

Thanks, son.

Hey, I got a spare.

(transition music) Ishpeming just happens to be home to the longest continuously running ski club in the entire U.S. And every year since 1887, skiers from all over the world have come here to take flight.

Coy Hill's been on this hill longer than I've been on the planet.

A lot of people downstate just don't even realize that this treasure is up here.

- [Coy] Or this is super a place of skiing in America.

- I might try to jump one of these hills later.

You got any advice for me?

- You're too old.

- (groans) Darn it!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

If you we're-- - I'm good looking enough thought.

Darn it!

- Well, yeah.

- Your mustache is very becoming.

- (laughs heartily) Thank you.

Maybe it's best I take Coy's advice.

- You're too old.

- Or not.

If those kids can do this, I can do it.

(laughs) Piece of cake.

- You're too old.

(Tom laughs) - This will be easy.

(laughs) Not bad, aye?

Well, as good as my first attempt was, I, well, didn't make the cut, which was fine because being able to just sit back and watch these kids do what they do is an absolute treat.

If you've only seen ski jumping on TV, you really owe it to yourself to get up to Ishpeming and see it for yourself.

Oh, and speaking of owing... Zack, that was perfect.

That was perfect.

Here's your 20 bucks.

- 20 bucks?

Are you trying to steal from me?

We said it was 40.

- (grunts) Okay.

Here's 40 bucks.

- All right, all right.

Thanks.

(Tom grunts) (transition music) (chill guitar music) - Now, when people in these parts say I love Lucy, they're not talking about an old TV show.

They're talking about Lucy Hill.

Yep.

This is where the Upper Peninsula Luge Club grapples with gravity almost every day.

And guess what?

You can too.

This is the only fully iced, natural track facility in all of North America.

And this club takes great pride in preserving it.

Now, before I go down a slippery slope, as it were, I thought I should check in with the Luge Club president, Fred Anderson.

Now, I noticed there's two tracks here.

Is one for, like, the experts, and the other one for, like, us?

(laughs) - Yes, the general public, we start everybody low on the track.

It's very safe.

It's fun, but you're in control.

And then, we work you up the hill.

We give you some good speed.

You'll be able to steer the sled very well by the time you're through.

- So after a brief Luge lesson, now, pay attention fellas.

Jim tried it.

Look at him go.

Then Eric tried it.

Nice form, dude.

And then, well, it was the moment of truth or dare, 'cause the guys went and dared me.

This will be easy.

Wow.

Deja vu.

(squeals) Oh!

Ah!

Ho-ho!

Ah!

Oh!

Mommy!

So if you can't remember the last time you did something for the first time, it's about time you tried Luging at the Upper Peninsula Luge Club in Negaunee.

Now you've heard the old expression, act a fool.

Well, with me, I'm not acting.

It comes pretty natural.

So why don't we take a look back at some times where I actually tried to dress to impress, and you'll see what I mean.

(upbeat rock music) Hello, everyone.

I'm Tom Barry with UTR Sports.

And welcome to Hockey Night in Kalamazoo.

One, two, three... - [Children] Go Wings!

- Whoop!

You know, Hamtramck is a really hip place.

A lot of cool people come here.

People who have a look.

Well, as you can tell by looking at me, I don't have a look.

I look like a guy who was looking for a look, so I looked up a place where I can go to get a look.

And here it is.

Look.

In the heart of Hamtramck, is Detroit Threads, a retro resale shop and record store that's got everything vintage.

The vinyl collection is way cool, and if you're looking for something hip to wear, Owner Mike Smith will totally hook you up.

Hey, buddy?

- How you doing?

- I need some help.

I need a look.

I don't have one, and I need one.

But I don't want just a regular look.

I wanna, like, a righteous retro look, and it's not gonna be easy.

- I think we can help you.

- Hey, Mike, which ones of these pants are really me?

- None of them.

- None of them?

How about this one?

- No.

- Hey, Mike, I think I found a look.

Hmm?

No?

Okay.

(sighs) Hey, Mike, you got any wigs?

- No.

- This shirt is totally me, don't you think?

- Tom, I think I have what you need.

- Oh, groovy.

I'll try this out.

Hey, Mike.

Solid.

Oh, yeah.

(door clanks) Hey, bonus!

Great donut queen, will you please, show me how to frost these donuts?

I've never done it before.

- Yes, I will as long as you have your gloves on.

- Yes, I have my gloves on.

- Santa, you got to know that the guy from Under The Radar is here today, okay?

(Tom imitates Santa laughing) Oh, my goodness.

- I've seen his show.

I love it.

(laughs) - It's a wonderful show.

Be to feel his stocking, nice and follow, okay?

- I'll do my best.

(group laughs) You too Santa.

(laughs) Yes!

(glorious music) - Well, it was time.

The moment of truth finally came.

Are you ready?

- I'm ready.

- Hold on.

On three.

Three!

Mommy!

(water splashes) Well, I'll be honest.

I thought dressing like super dude would ease the impact and shield me from the cold water.

My cap.

But all it did was make it more difficult for me to swim to shore.

I don't nee the cap.

And losing the power of my UTR super hat just made it more difficult for me to watch this clip.

(transition music) Hey, everybody.

I'm in Ypsilanti at the big elf festival.

And as soon as I get some magic dust, I'm gonna go eat a whole bunch of candy with all my elf buddies.

What the... Elf has left the building.

Elves, Elvis... You know, when you're me, sometimes life can be a little confusing, so I retired to my luxurious UTR talent trailer and in moments emerged in an outfit much more fitting to the occasion, because this is Michigan's official Elvis Festival that happens at Riverside Park in Ypsilanti's historic Depot Town.

Thousands of Elvis lovers and people who love to be Elvis, converge to shake, rattle, and roll out the red carpet for all things Elvis.

We saw Elvis after Elvis, after Elvis, after Elvis to the point where I totally lost control, jumped into the crowd, and shared my inner Elvis all over everybody.

I moved like Elvis, danced like Elvis, took photos and selfies as Elvis, and even flirted with the ladies like Elvis.

Heck!

I did more shaking than should be allowed by law.

But when all was said and done, I done did what I came to do.

And that's celebrate the King.

Well, that's right, baby mama.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Well, as you can see, I don't need much of a reason to play dress up.

My therapist actually has a word for it.

Oh, anyway, moving on.

If you've seen our show before, you know that on UTR we love to eat.

And the food is always fantastic unless I try to make it.

Then, all bets are pretty much off.

Take a look.

(transition music) Now, you mentioned today's special is Vietnamese blowfish.

- It not blowfish-- - Oh.

- Blue fish.

- Okay.

Okay.

What's a Vietnamese bluefish look like?

Oh, my God.

- Well, Tom, this is not a Vietnamese bluefish.

The name of the dish is Vietnamese bluefish.

- Oh, he just vacations there.

- Yeah.

This is a Rhode Island bluefish.

- Oh, so what pie are we making?

- We're making the first place, Crisco National Pie Championship, best of show, Food Network, Tom's Cheery Cherry Cherry Berry Pie.

Okay.

You put one hand on one handle - Right.

and one hand on the other handle.

(laughs) - Okay.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

- And then, you start in the middle and go out.

- How come yours all ready looks better than... (lady in pink dress laughs) Well, mine broke up all ready.

- Honey, that's so cute for a meatloaf.

- But... - It looks like for a meatloaf.

(laughs) - Actually, it looks like Europe.

So like look there's Germany.

(lady in pink dress laughs) These are the Netherlands.

There's Spain.

- Do you want me to help take it over?

- Yeah, could you help me.

- Okay.

Yeah.

- Look how good mine looks.

(bakers laughs) Well, I'm not here today because you've got a really cool specialty grocery store.

I'm here because you're supposed to be the homemade sausage dude.

- I'm the king.

I'm the king of sausage.

- Oh.

That's a step above dude.

- (laughs) It's way above dude.

- Yeah, so you guys, you make some pretty incredible sausage.

- Oh, my gosh.

We make over 30 different kinds of sausage here.

- Well, show me how you make it.

Show me what you're doing.

- Okay, right now, I just did some of the asparagus Brad's back there.

And I've mixed it all up.

Now, I'm gonna put it in this stuffer.

- Stuffer?

- And we're gonna stuff 'em.

And when I say we, I mean you.

- All right.

Far be it for me to back down from a sausage stuffing challenge.

Do I need to sterilize myself?

- Yeah, yeah.

Here's some special gloves for you.

They're orthopedic gloves, so-- - Oh, great.

Thanks.

- You'll love 'em.

- Orthopedic gloves.

Check.

Do I catch it as it comes out?

What do I do?

- Well, I'm gonna show you how to do it, and then you're gonna do it.

(air whooshing) - Okay.

- Okay.

The only thing that you can do wrong is to not have enough in there or have too much.

- So not enough or not too much.

- You want to have just the right amount.

- Okay.

It's making some funny noises, Dave.

This is starting to worry me.

- Okay.

Here it comes.

- (imitates alarm) Oh, my God!

How big of a sausage are you're gonna make?

- Well, we're trying it for the Guinness World Record today.

Okay.

And now, I'm gonna step out of your way.

- Okay.

What?

Do I step on this foot pedal?

Oh, no.

There's a little leg there.

- Yeah, you just lean into it, and hold on to it so it's not too tight.

- Okay.

- Kinda just hold on to it from the bottom almost like that.

- Oh, like this?

Okay.

- And very lightly, you kind of let it do its own thing.

- And it's not doing anything, Dave.

Oh, my God.

Look, I'm making sausage.

This is awesome.

How's this gonna fit into a frying pan?

- [Dave] (laughs) You have to curl it up like a cobra.

- Am I gonna have to do all of this with you?

Because this is a lot of sausage to wrap.

- Actually, you don't have to do it with me 'cause I'm planning on taking that carry out.

- [Tom] Yeah.

- So if you don't mind, you can get this and get that.

I'll see you when you're done.

Right.

Thanks a lot.

There you go.

If anybody comes to the counter, would you please wait on 'em?

- Wait on people at the counter?

- Yeah, thank you.

- (sighs) Darn it!

I wonder if there's even anybody left in the store.

(metal clanks) Dave?

Dave?

(chill music) So what are we making today?

Because I understand you have a fourth degree chocolatier.

So what are we making?

- We're gonna make peanut clusters.

- Oh, one of my favorites.

Okay.

So what do you do first?

- Okay.

We open this up and all the chocolate that's in here.

(Tom laughs) It's a chocolate waterfall.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

- And then, you're gonna add my peanuts here.

- Like, how many peanuts do you need?

- That's good right there.

- Where do I put 'em?

- Right in the middle of the chocolate.

- All right.

Is that good?

- Okay.

Maybe a few more.

- A few more?

Do you realize I'm a chocoholic?

I do have a problem with this.

(Dana laughs) - And then, we kind of mix them up.

- Just a single serving size?

- This is gonna make several clusters.

- Oh, okay.

How am I doing on the peanut delivery system?

- You're doing great.

- Okay.

- And then, you just take a few.

- Yes, I'm watching.

I'm paying attention.

(Dana laughs) - And you kind of push it off with your thumb when you're... - You make that look so easy.

Each one is uniform, perfect, and looks delicious.

- Are you gonna try now?

- You want me to try it?

- Yeah.

- No way.

Okay.

Well, it was time for me to get in the proverbial hot seat or hot chocolate seat that is.

And this is where I, once again, found out that some things are best left to the experts.

Mine may not have looked as good as Dana's, but I guarantee they tasted as good.

And as a matter of fact, so did my fingers.

So how do you make a pierogi?

(tambourine music) - All right.

Start with the dough.

- Start with a dough.

- Spray it.

- Some water.

- All right.

- Add the filling.

- And the filling is... - Potato cheddar.

- Potato cheddar.

So I'm assuming it has potato and cheddar in it.

- Mm-hmm.

- Okay.

'Cause, you know.

(lady in blue t-shirt laughs) - You fold it over.

- Fold it over.

- Okay.

- Secure it.

- [Tom] Secure it.

- Mm-hmm.

Now, we're gonna crimp it.

- [Tom] All righty.

Crimping.

- And now, we fork it.

- Fork it!

Yours is beautiful.

And this proves that I am and not at all Polish.

- It's good.

- Well, for an Irish Italian.

Now, I consider myself to be pretty much a people person.

So when we're out filming, I love to talk to folks because you never know what they're gonna say.

And the best part is they never know what I'm gonna say.

(chuckles) It makes things more interesting, don't you think?

(transition music) Hi, how are you?

Hello?

Hello?

How are you?

(screams) (laughs) I have a fear of clowns.

Can you help me work through that?

- I don't think I'm the right one.

- Okay.

- Oh, no, no, no.

- Okay.

(laughs) (Tom groans) I gave in to the dark side last month, but I never got my membership card.

- Oh, yeah.

Well, you know, it would be nice if they brought our office back.

See, part of the problem, is it was blown to bits.

- Oh.

- So-- - I hate it when that happens.

- There's gonna be a little delay on the processing on that.

- Excuse me.

We're interviewing people who have dead animals on their head.

What's yours?

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

Mine's a skunk, man.

- Is it a real skunk?

Is it dead yet?

- Oh, yeah, it's has been dead a while.

You wanna smell it?

- No, thanks.

(man in skunk hat laughs) - Now, what is yours?

- Mine is a lynx.

- A what?

- A lynx.

- Oh, a lynx?

Oh, my goodness.

What's your warming agent?

- Vodka.

- Water.

Shh!

You know, you can't say that.

It's a PBS TV show.

- Water.

- Water.

(laughs) So are you guys here for the chicken or the chicken?

- Well, I'm here for the chicken.

- Well, you're making quick work of that.

Hey, he's winning.

He's really way ahead you.

So you're the official slaw wrangler?

- Yeah.

- And that's a tough job?

- Yeah.

- Do you like coleslaw?

- Yeah.

- You can be honest.

Do you like coleslaw?

- I love coleslaw.

- Okay.

I'm just checking (child giggles) 'cause my kids won't eat it.

I love the stuff.

How long have you been doing this?

- Three years, I think.

- Wow.

So you're an old timer?

- Yeah.

- Thanks for your service.

- Okay.

- Oh.

- My hands are kinda wet.

(giggles) - Yeah, yeah, I just found that out.

Now, I'm a firm believer in you never drink a wine before its time.

Is that yours?

- It's time.

- Yes, it is.

(ladies laugh) - It was time.

I noticed your wine is a lot bitter than everybody else's.

Is there a reason for that?

- It's an ultra white.

- Oh, it's vodka.

Yeah.

- I get it.

I get it.

(lady with purple scarf laughs) Lemme see your wine walk wiggle.

- We're having a good time.

- Food is awesome.

- Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

- You're gonna see Santa tonight?

- No, I don't know where he is.

- Isn't he in the parade?

- I don't think he's in the parade.

I think he's in at the North Pole right now.

- Oh, that's okay.

I'll call him for you.

- Is this national TV?

- What?

- Is this national TV?

- Yes, it's national TV.

Look, it's right there.

(man laughs) Do your dance.

- [Crowd] Yeah!

- Do that dance.

Do that dance.

Do that dance.

(crowd cheering) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I love this guy.

(laughs) Oh, my God.

- [Distant Voice] Yeah!

- He bit my hand!

No, I'm not balanced right.

These are good pretzels.

They're expensive.

- Excellent.

- You'll have to remove your sweater first, sir.

- I can't take it off.

(group laughs) - Oh, I'm sorry.

- It's too tight.

- Sorry.

You should know better than doing something like this.

- Oh, I know.

- That's the township supervisor?

- Yeah.

- He should know better than to do new something like this.

Who'll do it again?

(crowd cheering) Okay, now, why would you do it again?

- 'Cause we're idiots.

- There you go.

(crowd laughs) That's a UTR exclusive.

It's UTRs exclusive.

They're idiots.

Are you a sloth?

(drums beating) - Yes.

- Cool.

In 347,000 words or less, what exactly are you?

- I'm a banjo player.

- Oh, a banjo player.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

(laughs) - Where are you from?

- I'm from PBS.

- I love PBS.

(woman laughs) - Thanks a lot.

- Under The Radar.

(lips smacking) - Oh, gosh.

(laughs) (lady in sunglasses laughs) Well, that about does it for our very first and last ever Tomfoolery special.

Thank you so much for grinning and bearing your way through it.

But honestly, folks, can you really think of a cooler Tom than me?

Come on.

Well, I guess there's Tom Jefferson.

And there's Tom Edison, Tom Hanks.

Oh, gosh, Tom Jones.

There's Tom Cruise, Tom Selleck, Tom Waits, Tommy Lee Jones, Tom Brady, Tom Petty, Tom Clancy, Thomas Hearns, Tommy Chong.

There's Thomas Hardy.

Oh, my gosh.

There's a guy at the hardware store.

His name is Tom.

Oh, my gosh.

My next door neighbor his dog is named Tom.

He's pretty cool too.

Oh, darn it!

Oh.

(soft music) - [Deep Male Voice] The perfect summer has a voice.

If that we listen close enough, we can hear it.

It whispers, "One more game, One more swim, one more round."

And it speaks softly through the cool nights.

Murmuring, "One more log, One more marshmallow, One more walk along the shore."

The perfect summer is waiting.

The perfect summer is Pure Michigan.

Your lake trip begins at michigan.org.

- [Male Voice] The Michigan Economic Development Corporation is dedicated to enabling economic prosperity.

The MEDC markets Michigan with the focus on growing businesses and building resilient communities in our state.

- [Female Voice] A visit to the Stahls Auto Collection will take you back to a time when cars were more than just a way to get around.

A fantastic assortment of gas pumps, neon signs, and automated music machines, dating back 150 years, that must be seen and heard, info at stahlsauto.com.

Destinationannarbor.org is your gateway to Chelsea, Dexter, Manchester, Milan, Saline, Ypsilanti, and Ann Arbor.

Find out the best spots to eat, festivals to attend, activities to do, and places to discover, at destinationannarbor.org.

(upbeat rock music) (piano playing)