
Too Cold For Hell
Season 2 Episode 10 | 44m 2sVideo has Closed Captions
Frank and Lu make some unlikely allies when they encounter a pair of deadly gangsters.
Tracking a local conman, Frank and Lu make some unlikely allies when they encounter a pair of deadly gangsters.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
Shakespeare and Hathaway Private Investigators is a local public television program presented by SCETV and WETA

Too Cold For Hell
Season 2 Episode 10 | 44m 2sVideo has Closed Captions
Tracking a local conman, Frank and Lu make some unlikely allies when they encounter a pair of deadly gangsters.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
Where to Watch Shakespeare and Hathaway Private Investigators
Shakespeare and Hathaway Private Investigators is available to stream on pbs.org and the PBS app.
[woman laughs] [woman’s voice] This number is not in service.
[phone beeps] [theme music playing] Well, he was supposed to meet us at the new house, but he never turned up!
Melted into air.
Into thin air.
Yeah, into air.
-Into thin air, babe.
-Yeah.
Right, let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
Um... What name was he using?
-Fred Froste.
-With an "e."
Mm.
We found him on the Internet.
He was ever so well-spoken!
Oh, yeah, and very reasonable as well.
[scoffs] I bet he was.
[sighs] All our wedding presents!
We had a gift registry at John Lewis!
Tsk.
Oh, here, have a tissue.
Did you call the police?
Oh, they knew about him, but he keeps changing his name, and they don’t have the, um-- what’s it, the, um-- -Uh, resources.
-Yeah.
Nice fish.
What’s he doing here?
All the legwork while you take all the credit.
Um, Fred Froste, aka Foster, Softer, Forest... Certainly giving you the runaround.
It’s called "outsourcing," and if it leads to a conviction-- A Mountie always gets his man.
Hey, be a good lad, will you?
Make us a copy?
You know where the kettle is.
I said "copy."
Four thefts following ads in the local press and on-line.
"Froste," "Softer," "Forest--" Oh, they’re anagrams!
They’re anagrams!
Yeah, might make him easier to find.
I love Scrabble!
Good!
We could use a hand.
It’s a shame I’m so terrible at spelling.
I suppose I should just stick to answering the phone, really.
[gasps] Frank!
Frank!
...is sitting six feet away!
"Florian Fortes, Gentleman and Van, highly competitive rates."
Do you think that’s them?
There’s only one way to find out.
[knock on door] Florian Fortes, here for your quote.
Kate.
Minola.
Come through!
That glowering hulk there is Peter, my soon-to-be-ex-husband.
Yeah, for which I thank God!
Oh!
Well you’ll have to get into queue behind me.
You’re not in my queue!
You’re in the queue with the little red men with the fork tails and the little pointy sticks!
He will need all his stuff removing and putting into storage, until he finds a suitably lonely and sterile bachelor pad.
You have some lovely things.
Oh, thank you!
He didn’t choose any of them.
No, but I paid for them!
Here, are you married?
Sadly, not.
Listen, if you do happen to make that mistake, take my advice: Don’t let them put their name on the deeds of the house you bought.
And also, don’t buy your secretary thongs from Victoria’s Secrets and keep the receipts in your pocket!
I’ll need a list of items for removal.
Yes.
OK.
Hey!
You’re not having the lawn mower!
Yes I am.
You bought me that for my birthday.
Yeah, because I knew you wouldn’t want one.
Oh, well, fine.
You keep it.
I’m going to get a gardener.
With a six-pack.
Uhh.
Lu, we’ve got a problem.
It’s Billy!
Billy the Brick!
Well, do something!
[in a deep voice] Yeah, the-the door’s open.
It’s all-all packed up, ready in the hallway.
Is everything all right, Mrs.
Minola?
Only your voice sounds a bit-- Yeah, a bit.
Yeah, a bit, um... A bit like ten years of my life is just packed into cardboard boxes!
You know, it’s just, just, good riddance, isn’t it, to bad rubbish.
Shut the door behind you!
[glass breaks] -Did you see that, Frank?
-Yeah.
I’ve had it with Billy.
If the police catch him this time, he’s on his own.
Yeah.
Whoo!
Oh!
Christina, your phantom removal man-- I’ve got a location and an ID.
[whispers] Are you all right?
Man: Right, let’s see if it’s in here.
[metal door closes] Ah.
It’s that one.
What?
Hi, Frank.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know it’s early, but that’s why it’s called a "dawn raid."
Listen.
Listen.
We’ve found a body.
I need you to do an ID.
White male in his thirties.
Five foot eight.
Shot through the heart.
Looks professional.
He fell on his face, so we can’t tell whether it’s him or the accomplice.
[sighs] It’s Florian.
Then the money’s on the gofer.
Goes by the name of Ned Poins.
Unsurprisingly, he’s done a runner.
-Mum?
-Excuse me.
You’re not going to tell him about Billy?
Bill could be arrested for murder, won’t he?
Again!
Aye.
[Frank] "Love’s young dream" will be happy, at any rate.
Frank, that one’s been opened.
Do you think someone’s taken something out of it?
Only one way to find out.
Nan!
Wait!
She’s not here!
Anthony, Nan’s gone!
They’ve taken Nan!
She was in a statue.
No, an "everlasting love angel" cremation urn!
-What’ll I say to Cuddles?
-That’s her uncle.
He gave it to me because I was her favorite granddaughter!
Well, the only granddaughter.
Her only granddaughter!
And now I’ve lost her!
Well, never mind.
At least you’ve got the rest of your stuff back.
Excuse me!
This is a crime scene.
-There’s been a theft!
-And this is Detective Sergeant Keeler who will assist you.
Well, as you’re both here, can I get a description, please, of Froste’s accomplice?
Oh, um, yeah.
He was wearing an Aston Villa baseball cap.
Red.
More of a wine.
Yeah, reddy wine.
Good luck.
Chamomile tea.
It’s good for shock.
[door slams] Oh, don’t worry, it’s only them.
Billy!
I’d say it was a nice surprise, but I’d be lying on both counts.
People are after me, Frank!
I think they’re gonna kill me!
Would that be the same people that shot your boss?
[Frank] We’ve just been to his lockup.
From the beginning.
Uh, no, actually, scrap that.
From where you stole all of Peter Minola’s worldly goods.
We were there late, doing a stock take when trouble arrives.
[cardboard box hits floor] [Billy] Meow!
[whistling] Can I help you?
You’ve stolen something of mine, something that’s very close to me.
Just take it.
I don’t want any trouble.
Yeah, well, the trouble is, it’s not here.
It might help if I knew what "it" is.
Oh, you know.
Here’s what’s going to happen.
I’m going to count to three, and if you don’t tell me where it is I’m going to have Mercy here, shoot you.
One.
-No!
Stop!
I don’t know what "it" is!
-Two.
No, please, I swear, I don’t!
Three [gunshot] Hm.
[sniffs] Perhaps he didn’t know.
[cat meows] [shudders] More chamomile tea?
It’s not really working.
Have you got any brandy?
Billy, get on with it.
I waited ’til they’d gone and legged it home, but they’d got there first and trashed the place!
They know where I live, Frank!
Do you think the old man’s Bianca’s Uncle Cuddles?
He might be.
She did seem a bit scared of him.
Maybe you should ask her!
Oh, yeah, yeah!
"Got any hobbies?
Fishing?
Golf?
Murdering people in cold blood?"
Bit more discrete than that.
Tell me about the angel, Billy.
You know, the one in the Percys’ packing case?
Bianca’s nan was in it, Billy.
[sighs] OK.
[sighs] I was taping up the boxes and I saw this statue of an angel, right up me foster mum’s street.
Well, it’s her birthday next week, and I looked it up on the Internet to see if it was worth anything and realized it was an urn with ashes in, and I couldn’t give me foster mum a dead person!
You didn’t throw Nan away, Billy?
What do you take me for?
I do have some standards!
So I left her on a grave in the cemetery.
Well, I suggest you retrieve her and give her back to Bianca Percy, before the more murderous side of the family catches up with you.
Uh... What’s the problem?
[Frank] You must be joking.
There are thousands of graves here!
[Lu] Nineteen thousand, to be precise.
[Billy] It was dark by the time I got here, and I stopped off first at the Boar’s Head for a jar... or two.
[sighs] You must have some idea!
I remember the name on the grave-- "Silas Yorick."
It’s Shakespeare for "dead person."
I thought we could spread out.
Nineteen thousand divided by three equals "No way, Billy."
Do you have a better idea?
Oh, ha ha!
"Grave and plot locations can be accessed on-line via the cemetery website, www" blah blah blah blah blah... I reckon she’s a keeper, despite what you said.
What did you say?
That he needed a gobby Barbie for a partner like a hole in the head.
No, I didn’t!
Well, maybe once, but not now!
That was before!
Lu!
Lu!
[sighs] What did you-- Come on.
let’s go.
[doorbell jingles] Hello, hello, hello!
Uh, oh, I’m Jamie.
From the BBC?
We spoke on the phone?
Ant!
The guy from the BBC’s here!
Yup!
In we go!
[chuckles] Aw.
As I explained, uh, we are currently looking for contestants for our literally groundbreaking new series.
-Drum-roll, please!
-[drum-roll] Aw, thank you very much.
It is Family Tree, involving teams of family members answering general-knowledge questions, in a tree house, 250 feet above ground.
Now, ideal candidates will have large families who don’t suffer from vertigo, although, for "health and safety," they will be harnessed at all times.
-We’ve always wanted to be on the BBC.
-Yeah.
We’re like a proper Gogglebox couple.
That’s Channel 4.
Is someone famous asking the questions?
Well, strictly speaking, I’m not allowed to say, but-- and you did not hear this from me-- We are a whisker away from a "yay" from Jimmy Carr.
And our other front-runner is Sir Lenny Henry.
We love Sir Lenny!
-My mum does, too!
-Yeah?
Haw haw!
Giddy fortune!
Let me go grab the tea!
So, shall we get started?
Tell me about your family.
Any, um, interesting characters?
Any silly nicknames?
That sort of thing?
The mis-monikered "Cuddles" is Bianca’s uncle, Claude Mortimer, currently resident in Marbella.
Bianca Percy is a Mortimer.
That’s all we need.
A family of career criminals that make the Peaky Blinders look like the Teletubbies.
And the moral of this story is, Billy--?
Don’t nick a mob boss’s dead mother.
Oh, here we go-- Silas Yorick.
1823 to 1891, Plot CHV 17409 Now now!
When the cemetery closes!
What will we do ’til then?
Well, it may surprise you to know that we have other clients.
Ones that pay us.
Just... sit down and shut up.
-Can I play on your iPad?
-No.
[door thrown open] [Sebastian] Good afternoon, Detective Sergeant Keeler!
-What an unexpected surprise!
Do you have an appointment?
-Sh!
[Keeler] I’ll let myself in.
Oh, hello, Sergeant.
How can we help you?
You need some surveillance on the wife or something?
-Billy Porters.
-What about him?
I’ve got a grass says he’s Fortes’s accomplice.
-Ah!
-[grumbles] Well, that-- isn’t that typical!
Ha ha, it’s typical, you know what I mean.
But we’ve not laid eyes on him.
So you don’t know where he is?
Well, you could try his, uh, parole officer.
I mean, I don’t keep tabs on him, so-- Funny, that, ’cause you visited him in prison on four occasions last time he was inside.
Yes, I did, and that’s because [two quick breaths] his foster mother, uh, asked me to.
Yeah, she’d had a hip replacement and couldn’t get in to see him.
Aren’t you a Middlesbrough supporter?
That’s mine!
Ha!
Gosh, yeah!
Love the Villas!
I don’t miss a match.
What was the score last Saturday, then?
Two love.
Two nil.
Nil.
Two nil.
Ha.
Two.
Yeah!
Oh, yeah, we smashed them, good and proper.
-She talks about football all the time!
-I do!
-Can’t shut her up, can you?
-Ha ha!
On me head, ha ha ha!
But anyway, we’ve, uh, we’ve got work to do, so if you don’t mind.
I’m watching you, Hathaway.
-[phone ringing] -[inaudible voices] Hathaway knows more than he’s letting on.
So, what’s new?
"So," he could be harboring a murder suspect.
[scoffs] Porters didn’t shoot anyone.
He hasn’t got the bottle.
Yeah, but he may well have seen it.
And don’t forget, he’s wanted for theft!
Oh, Billy Porters is always wanted for theft.
You’ve got a blind spot, and it’s more than him just being your guvnor.
It’s almost like-- It’s almost like he’s got something on you.
I’m gonna let that go because it’s been a rough day.
Go home to your wife, Joe.
DS Keeler.
Assistance required at Arden Cemetery, please.
Me foster mum says the spirits of the dead -conceal themselves in the fog so the living can’t see them.
-[owl hoots] And a hooting owl means somebody’s going to die!
Yeah, don’t give me any ideas.
You better hope it’s still there.
Course it will!
Who’d steal somebody’s ashes?
According to this Old Yorick’s somewhere around there... there.
Lucky for you it’s still here.
Now come on.
Let’s get out of here before someone finds us.
Stooped to grave robbing, eh, Hathaway?
Or are you boys out here for a little alfresco fun?
That’s it, isn’t it, Frank?
We’re just two blokes who like doing it in cemeteries.
Get off me!
I’m retrieving some property for a client of mine.
You can explain it all to me when we go to the station.
Don’t do anything stupid.
I see the pickers and stealers are out today.
[Frank] We don’t want any trouble.
Let’s nobody do anything stupid, right?
I’m a-- Let’s not do anything stupid.
I thought it was a statue.
It was for me foster mum’s birthday.
As soon as I found out it was ashes I put it here, dead respectful like!
You dishonor my family.
Look.
as you can see, he’s not the brightest tool in the box.
But he’s really sorry, aren’t you, Billy?
My sincere condolences for your loss.
[man’s over radio] Control to Detective Sergeant Keeler: Patrol’s near your location now.
[phone rings] DI Marlowe.
What do you mean, he’s "disappeared?"
Arden cemetery?
Yeah, okay, I can make an educated guess.
All right.
Leave it with me.
[phone rings] Lu?
You don’t, by any chance, have Frank in custody, do you?
No, but I’d love to know why you’re asking.
[sighs] He went to the cemetery with Billy Porters and I think something might have happened.
Funny, that.
I’m starting to get worried.
OK, don’t go anywhere.
I’m coming over.
You’re not the only one with a missing partner.
[Frank] I don’t suppose you could tell us where we are?
Take that as a no, then.
Well, now what?
We call for help.
-Help!
-Billy, Billy!
I’ve got another phone.
A burner, I keep it for emergencies.
All right!
Nice one!
So, a known gangster killed Florian Fortes over his mother’s ashes and it didn’t occur to you to call it in.
Yeah, well, obviously, we were gonna tell you, once they were safely returned, but-- [phone rings] -Hello.
Luella Shakes-- -Lu!
Yeah, listen.
Claude Mortimer shanghaied us in the cemetery.
We’re in a transit van.
The registration is HV18 APY.
Is Joe with you?
[sighs] Christina.
I’m glad you’re on the case.
-Yeah, Joe’s here, for my sins.
-[airplane roaring] Well, where are you?
We’re about half an hour from the cemetery.
-[whispers] Engine noise!
-Can I track the phone?
No, it’s a burner.
Can you do cell site analysis?
Yeah, on it.
Listen, don’t hang about.
I don’t think he’s gonna let us off with a warning.
I gotta go.
Is that the best you can do?
Yeah, I know.
OK.
Thanks, Rob.
OK.
The call was picked up by this mast.
The bad news is, it has an eight-mile radius.
Most of it’s industrial estate, and it’s just too wide to send in a search.
What about the audio?
Yeah, it’s been outsourced to a private company who are now closed for the night.
What?
What are you doing?
Perchance a task for our long-legged spinner.
Good thinking!
-Technical support.
-I’m sure they’re doing the best they can.
Well, we’re not, are we?
I can’t just sit here doing nothing!
Look, we’ve got a description of the car.
We need to get out and start looking.
-Great.
I’ll drive.
-I’ll drive.
-No, I’ll drive.
-I’ll drive.
-No, I’ll drive.
-Why?
Because I’ve got a blue flashing light and a siren.
"We few, we happy few, We band of brothers; For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile, this day shall gentle his condition..." Can’t you make him stop?
It’s surprisingly hard.
[aircraft noise] Oh!
You’ll never get way with this.
Ah, "a little water will clear us of this deed."
Bound for Hong Kong, via the Pacific.
Do you have any idea how many of these containers fall off the edge of ships every year?
Tens of thousands of these, just laying on the sea floor.
Listen, don’t do anything you’ll regret.
I never regret anything.
He’s got a phone.
-No, I haven’t.
-He does.
And backup’s on its way.
So if you’ve got any sense, you’ll let us go now, while you have a chance!
If you don’t believe him, have a look in his pocket.
[Frank sighs] Just one thing.
Where exactly is "backup" on its way to?
Some industrial estate, 30 minutes drive from the cemetery.
And we I’d you.
Claude Mortimer.
Well, that’s where you’re mistaken, as Claude Mortimer hasn’t left the Spanish borders in six months, as immigration records will confirm.
Don’t worry.
It’ll be painless.
Just like falling into a coma.
"To die, to sleep.
To sleep, perchance to dream..." [chuckles] "He’s got a phone."
"In his pocket"!
[metal door clanging] [sheep bleating] Listen, his kit’s all washed and ironed.
It’s in the airing cupboard.
Thanks, Mum.
Love you.
Just, um, just tell him I’m sorry.
My son’s judo display.
Oh.
What’s his name?
Jake.
He’s five.
Can five-year-olds be good at judo?
Who knows?
It looks like now I’ll never find out.
His dad’s not around, then.
No, not really.
He’s not what you’d call father material.
He’s a difficult man.
Thank goodness for mothers, eh?
You haven’t met mine.
[phone rings] Emma, hi.
Ah, didn’t he tell you?
He’s, uh, he’s on an ob, so his phone’s off.
Listen, when I see him I’ll tell him his dinner’s in the dog.
You take care, now.
Joe’s wife.
she’s pregnant with their first.
They had a scare a few weeks ago.
It was touch and go for a while, so... Why did Frank leave the force?
Early retirement.
From the job he loved?
Right, yeah, that figures.
-Why don’t you ask him yourself?
-Well, because he’s like you!
He’ll never give me a straight answer!
Which makes me think it must have been something really wrong.
And then I think, well, that’s not the Frank Hathaway that I know.
Or at least I think I know.
I mean, what else don’t I know about him?
Wives buried under the patio?
Offshore accounts in the Caymans?
Secret offspring?
Jake?
[laughs] Me and--?
Oh, yeah, no, it was just a-- it was an idea.
Then what is it?
What is it that Frank has done that’s so bad he can’t even tell me, his partner?
[sheep bleating] Teddie Shrewsbury.
They’ll have triangulated the call by now.
It’s too wide for a search.
[scoffs] Frank’ll have a plan.
I haven’t got a plan, Billy.
He always has a plan.
I haven’t got a plan!
He always has a pl-- There is no plan, Billy!
That was the plan-- Call for help.
All planned out.
How long ’til we freeze to death?
45 minutes, give or take five minutes.
I watched this documentary, Trapped in a Freezer, about people who got trapped in a freezer.
Okay, and how did they get out?
They didn’t.
Mostly froze to death.
Except this butcher who battered off the lock using a frozen black pudding.
Give me a break!
Give you a break?
That would be half a good idea, that.
Right.
Time to get these cuffs off.
Told you he’d have a plan.
Come on.
Teddie was six when he was abducted and found murdered.
I had to inform his parents.
One consolation was we-- we got the scum who did it.
Richard Hurd.
He was a known offender but he hadn’t killed before Teddie.
Left his DNA all over the place.
It was an open-and-shut case.
And the "but?"
The lab testing the DNA were being investigated for mishandling of samples.
It was an isolated incident, but it rendered Richard Hurd’s DNA inadmissible in court.
So the SIO ordered a search of Hurd’s house.
He told us to tear the place apart in case we’d missed anything.
-[radio beeps] -This is Aragog.
Can you confirm your identities?
Luella May Shakespeare.
[Christina] You’ve hacked into my radio.
Affirmative.
Regarding the big man and his spot of trouble, Nitty gritty: I isolated the audio.
It isn’t machinery noise; it’s a light aircraft, probably a Cessna Jet Hawk 500 on a northwards bound landing path to a landing destination approximately five kilometers.
How could he possibly know that?
[beeps] I asked a rocket scientist.
-It’s all the same theory, apparently.
-Is there a private airfield -in the vicinity?
-Roger that.
I’m putting a pin in your Sat Nav.
It’s police issue.
You won’t be able to do that.
The audio records the landing gears descending, and, given the location of the runway, the plane passed over the coordinates here within 400 meters.
That’s only a couple of miles away.
-May the force be with you!
-[beeps] He’s just a friend who knows a lot about computers.
This is DI Marlow requesting backup to the following location... -[wincing] Ah!
-Even if you do get ’em off, then what?
At least I’ll be able to take a proper swipe at you!
We’re gonna die in here.
-Not if Lu finds us.
-The ex-hairdresser?
Yeah, the ex-hairdresser who’s a better detective than you’ll ever be!
Yeah.
She only looks like a bimbo.
-Hey!
-Sorry.
And Christina?
You got no faith in the boss?
Do you blame me considering her lack of judgment when it comes to you?
Go on, grant me a dying wish.
What’s the story with you two?
Oh, ho, ho!
Dirty dog!
Shut up, Billy.
A bent copper, drummed out of the force, and still she won’t have a bad word said against you!
Lets you run wild!
Come on!
Satisfy my curiosity!
-You really want to know?
-Yes!
Good looks and magnetic charm.
Women find me irresistible.
Ugh!
Gah!
Huh?
Your turn.
So, you, uh, searched this Richard Hurd’s house -a second time?
-Yeah.
Yeah, and we got a result.
One of those, um, toy spinners that kids collect.
It had fallen into the crack in the floorboards so that’s why we’d missed it the first time.
The DNA proved that it had belonged to Teddie.
Sometimes "to do a great right you have to do a little wrong."
What-- Frank?
You planted it!
[gasps] Did he know?
He said, "Don’t be stupid, and if you have to be stupid, don’t get caught."
Oh, yeah, that sounds like Frank.
Yeah.
Only I was stupid, and I did get caught.
And before I even had a chance to confess, -Frank went behind my back to the SIO and he owned up.
-Why?
He blamed himself for not stopping me.
And he said if I hadn’t done it, then he would have.
[sighs] The irony is neither of us needed to do anything because Hurd was murdered in prison while on remand.
Well, that’s something, isn’t it?
And because they hadn’t forwarded the evidence to the CPS they kept it all internal.
They offered Frank early retirement on "health" grounds, and I got his job.
Frank sacrificed his career for yours.
He said I had a lot more to lose.
[sighs] Single mum, [sighs] unemployed, with her career in tatters.
They were never going to allow Frank to make it above DI.
They told him he had a blatant disregard for authority.
We both knew.
I could toe the line.
I could make it.
Of course if you ever repeat this we’ll both deny it.
I would have done what you did.
-[banging] -[Frank sighs] Do you actually think you’re gonna break out of here using frozen fish?
It’s one more idea than you’ve had.
-[banging] -[groans] Oh, it’s pointless.
[sighs] It’s not budging.
[sighs] Sorry, Frank.
I guess this is partly my fault.
"Partly"?
It’s all your fault.
Ugh.
[shivers] Whatever happened to "I’m never going inside again"?
I thought you had a job lined up.
Warehouse packer.
What’s wrong with that?
I didn’t mind it.
Quite restful, actually.
Just the hours and the money.
End of the month they’d nicked half of it back in "paye."
I’m like, "You’re supposed to be paying me, not the other way around."
P.A.Y.E.
Taxes, Billy.
It’s a tried and tested method of raising money for government spending.
The government don’t need it!
They’re loaded with money!
Oh.
I don’t know what’s worse-- the prospect of death or the prospect of death with the words of a moron ringing in my ears.
Did ya have a good childhood, did ya?
Eh?
Go to a nice school?
Live out in the suburbs?
Go to the rugby club on a weekend?
Yeah.
What of it?
You’ve got no idea, have you?
Born without a chance.
He was mewling and puking in a nurse’s arms because of a heroin addiction from his junkie mother.
Sorry, Billy.
It’s all right.
It’s not like I remember her.
You’d have behavioral difficulties, slip through cracks in the care system... If he hadn’t gone to his foster mother I don’t think he’d have made adulthood.
Homeschooled me.
Said it’d keep me out of trouble.
It did, too, ’til I was too old for school.
You got kids?
No.
Small mercies, eh?
At least you’ll die without replicating yourself.
Something for which the planet will be eternally grateful.
I’ve always thought of you as a bit of a father figure, Frank.
That’s done a lot of good for you, hasn’t it?
Eh, Hathaway?
We’ll have to split up.
Marlowe!
-Yeah?
-Frank’s been here.
There’s thousands of them!
They could be anywhere!
It’s a good sign we’re still shivering.
It means we’re still in stage one hypothermia.
It’s when you stop you should worry.
Lethargy, confusion... Oh!
Paradoxical undressing!
What?
Oh, don’t ask.
Your body gets so cold it thinks it’s overheating, starting with the meat and two veg.
So the kecks are the first thing to go.
Most likely they’ll find us naked from the waist down.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse.
-[bolt unlocking] -[door opening] Well, it seems I underestimated you.
[inaudible yelling] Stay there!
Where are they?
[gunshot] Habitually, I am a model of patience.
But I am now finding myself extremely vexed.
What happened to Nan?
Where are they?
How many relatives you got in there?
-What’s he talking about?
-I have no idea.
Here’s what’s going to happen.
Either you tell me where they are, or Mercy here will shoot one of you.
Has she even done her GCSEs?
[panting] Look, slow down.
Why don’t you tell us what you’re talking about?
I’ll leave it up to you to choose.
One.
-Two.
-No!
[Thud] What do you reckon, Frank?
"Billy Two Bricks?"
Oh, you made it!
Oh, I’d cuff him if I was you.
And him, while you’re at it!
You’re joking, aren’t ya?
I saved your life!
We wouldn’t be in this mess if it wasn’t for you!
-And he’s a thief.
-Aw, you’re all heart.
Oh, she’s moved!
[screams] Cuff her!
She’s out cold.
Sorry about that.
I thought I saw a little... Devious little-- Okay, enough.
Backup’s on their way.
He won’t get far on foot.
Billy swiped my keys That’s not the worst thing that could have happened.
You know, all things considered.
Um, I need to call Emma.
Can I borrow your phone?
Um, I told her you were on an ob.
Thank you.
Congratulations, by the way.
He’s expecting his first.
What, uh, What I said back there-- I didn’t mean it.
Yeah, you did.
[groans] Ha ha.
-What’s that for?
-Nothing.
It’s just ashes.
Looks like Nan wasn’t that precious after all.
What was worth killing for?
Lookee here.
Did you realize that your Nan had a false bottom?
Oh, yeah.
She was awfully heavy.
Even for a dead person.
So Anthony had a look, and in the bottom it was weighted with pebbles.
-Pebbles?
-Yeah.
You know, like the ones you get in a pet shop.
Only it was heavy enough, so we got rid of ’em.
No, Anthony, we recycled them.
Gave them to Julius.
And where would we find this Julius?
[laughter] [laughter] Uncut diamonds worth three million pounds.
Uncle Claude’s runaway fund, hidden and untraceable.
Uh-uh.
Any news on Billy yet?
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