(record needle touching a record) (sad country song begins) (singing over speaker) ♪♪ (song continues) - You're sure these vegetables are fresh?

- Yes, ma'am.

You only get fresh and the best in my place, Ms. Tucker.

- Just wanted to make sure.

- As many times as you ate here, you never got anything but homegrown, home-cooked meals.

- Would you please turn that awful music off?

I won't be able to digest my food.

- Yes, ma'am.

(music ends) - You ready to order yet?

(man coughs) - Not-- not yet.

I want to finish this chapter first.

(continues coughing) - Morning Howard.

Ms. Tucker.

- How'’s Trix, Gaynor?

- Oh it'’d be all right if we get some rain.

- It'’s dry all over the county.

- Yes, ma'am, it sure is.

I just want a hamburger and a Coke.

- Gotcha.

(coughs) - Excuse me.

Just trying to see what you were reading.

- It'’s just a book.

One of the classics.

- Hmph!

One of those dirty paperbacks.

Disgusting.

- I'm afraid you caught me red handed.

- What did you do, rob a bank?

- Might as well have.

- I wish you would.

Then you could pay me that money you owe me.

- If you spent some time working instead of reading those awful books.

- Is that a dirty book you're reading?

- "“I can't stand it,"” he thought, as a long-legged blonde pressed hard against him.

"“No, don't!

"” she protested.

The young man held her close to him.

"“I'm yours,"” she cried.

"“Kiss me, you fool,"” he whispered.

"“Stop, Stop!

No, no!

"” she cried in protest.

But he kissed her again.

"“You made me love you, you tigress.

"” "“Not here,"” she protested, as a bright moonlight shone on her bare ivory body.

- (screams) - "“Now, now,"” the young beautiful thing cried.

- Now leave the lady alone.

- Thank you, Pete!

(coughing fit) - Don't nobody seem to be catching any fish this month.

- Nope.

Always like this in the dog days.

My wife quits fishing in August.

- When you getting your air conditioner?

- Too late now.

Maybe next year.

If I got one now, I'’d only get a month or two use out of it.

Besides-— - Homer Wingo just dropped dead in Harvey Snipes'’ Café!

And Snipes is running out because he's afraid people will accuse him of food poisoning, because Old Ms. Tucker went running and shouting something about a sex fiend dropped stone dead from today's special on vegetable plate!

- What?

- And Snipes is trying to drag the body out because he's afraid people are going to try to-- - Okay, okay, I'm coming.

(fiddle music) - Hold on there, Snipes.

- Now Hinten, this ain't my fault.

- Never touch anything after a crime.

- Crime?

He just came in and fouled out of his own accord.

- I never said you'd done anything wrong, Harv.

I'm just saying I'’ve got my duty to do.

And I'm gonna do it according to the book.

It says to start with first things first.

- Where did Old Ms. Tucker come up with this food poisoning thing?

- Food poisoning?

That's what I'm trying to tell you, fellas.

Wingo there didn'’t even have a bite.

He just came in and sat down.

Then he fell flat on his face.

Listened to his heart, and I didn't hear no thumping, so I knew he was dead.

- Don'’t worry, Harv.

We just funning with you.

- We'’d better call a doctor!

- Doctors aren'’t gonna bring him back.

'‘Sides, doctor'’s out of town.

- Wonder what did it?

- I don't know.

- Well, we won't have to worry about him and his dirty books anymore.

You know, he sure scared Old Ms. Tucker.

Shouldn't a-done it.

- How'’d he scare her?

- He was reading one of his dirty books to her.

Scared the daylights out of her.

- Was one of them books he wrote?

- Hell, I don't know.

It sure was racy.

- You really think he wrote any books like he said he did?

- I never saw any of them myself.

- Wonder if he made any money off '‘em if he did write them?

- Aw, if he did, he never paid me any of it.

Died owing me 30 bucks!

- I bet they was real dirty ones, like the one he was reading out loud to Ms. Tucker.

- Yeah, I know.

Can'’t do that on credit, can you?

- Wowie.

He sure looks dead, don'’t he?

- Well!

- Mayor Beemer, come over here and talk the funeral home over in Barksdale.

I called him to come pick up the body, but they said they don't want to do unless they get paid first.

- This is Floyd Beemer.

- You know what we need in this town is a good funeral home instead of letting those boys over in Barksdale get all the business.

- You're right, J.D.

We need one.

- Wouldn't make any money off of this one.

- You know, if he died owing you money, he didn't have any to pay for his own funeral.

Too bad he didn't have nobody to take care of things like this.

Everybody needs a family.

- Ought to take over for Chutiss.

That'’s the thing about moving over here.

- I know he doesn't have any family, but.

Okay, well send an ambulance to pick him up and the town will pay for it.

- Wait a minute, Floyd.

Wait a minute.

You can't have the town paying the good tax money on the likes of him.

What about the election?

You un-balance the town budget, and I have to tell you right now, you're going to lose my vote.

- Just a minute, Whillard.

I'll call you back a little later, Willard, after we get this all straightened out.

Now, look, we got to do something.

- You'’re damn right we have, Landrum.

- Why don'’t we put him in the back of the café?

- The devil with that, I'm trying to get him out of here in the first place.

- Well, now, that was in the heat of the excitement Harv.

- No sir, no sir.

I'm not moving that body another inch into this cafe.

- Well, now, it's not going to hurt anything.

- You just lost two votes.

Why don't we throw him in the back of my pickup and take him over to your office?

Or better still, down to your home and let him stay.

- We just can'’t leave the fool laying there.

- We could take him down to the ice house.

- It'’s closed on Thursdays.

How about the barbershop?

- Aw, it ain'’t got but one room.

- That's all right.

You could put him in the chair and people would think he'’s just in for a shave and a shoe shine.

- Harv, get me a beer.

- Well, we got to do something.

We just can't leave him laying there in the sun.

(solemn organ music playing) - Good afternoon, gentlemen.

- [All] Hi.

- Well, there he is, Coroner.

- Yeah.

Howdy boys.

- [All] Hello.

- Anybody could have told you his ways was going to catch up to him.

It's all right there in the Scriptures, if people would just pay attention.

I told my congregation just last week that wild oats yeild only a wild harvest.

- Heard tell it was food poisoning.

- No, that's a lie and a slander!

He hadn'’t even finished his iced tea when he keeled over dead.

And him owing me money and all.

- Wasn'’t no food poisoning.

The Lord finally got it.

- I'm sure of it, but the Coroner is the man to decide officially.

- You can tell it'’s not food poisoning.

He'd be all bloated up and blue, and his eyes would be bugging out like a toad'’s.

- Yeah.

I ain'’t never had a case of food poisoning, but I remember a case of poison in "“True Detective.

"” Man killed his wife, saying she was stepping out on him.

- I bet she swole up bigger than hell, too.

- I don't really remember that part.

- You reckon he left anything?

- I doubt it.

Didn't leave any family either.

- He left a hell of a mess.

- And a legacy of sin all over town reading those dirty book and claimed he was writing some just as sexy and all.

Bragging all the while about his sins.

- Preacher, maybe we aught to read some of it.

Probably lots of good spicy stuff.

- You do that, you can be struck down too, you and anybody else in league with the Devil.

- He sure was a strange bird.

He never did talk much.

He listened a whole lot, though.

He was always interested in what you was saying.

Said one day, he was going to write it all down in a book.

- Well, I'll tell you.

I don't see any bullet holes.

Nobody seems to have stabbed him or cut him up any.

This peckerwood died from natural causes.

- God works in miraculous ways.

- Amen, brother.

- How old was he?

- Well, he'd been here all his life, you know, from a good family, too.

Some families go to seed like that.

I guess he must have been about 35.

- Seemed older than that to me.

This sure is wasting my air conditioning!

I'm paying for this electricity!

- Come from a good Christian family, but you'd think he's some sort of agitator.

Acted surely just like them.

Never went to church that I know of.

Wasn'’t a thing like his daddy.

- I think he looked right peaceful.

Harv, I'’ll take a beer.

Sweatin like a whore in church.

Oh, I beg your pardon Reverend Magee.

(fiddle music) - Oh, uh pardon me, fellows.

I hate to bother you at a time like this, but could any of you tell me where I might find a man named Homer Wingo?

(mournful fiddle music) - What do you want him for?

- Well, I'd like to talk with him.

- What for?

You a friend of his?

- No, I've never met the man before in my life.

Do you know where he is?

- You're not from around here, are you?

- No.

- Then why do you want to see Wingo?

- Well, I've already told you, that's really none of your business.

Now, can any of you tell me where to find him?

Any of you know?

Well, thank you.

- Be careful not to step on old Wingo there as you go out.

- That's Homer Wingo?

- That's him.

- You ain'’t a lawyer from New York, are you?

- You mean to say he just died right there and you haven't called an ambulance or a doctor?

- He died over there.

- Natural causes.

- Are you sure you're not a lawyer from New York or Chicago?

- No, I'm not a lawyer from New York.

You just let one of America's greatest writers die right before your eyes, and all you do is sit there as if nothing has happened.

- What the hell do you care?

Who are you, anyway?

A newspaper man or a TV reporter?

- Calm down now Harv.

Now this is official.

Wingo here died from natural causes.

We got a different way of handling things down here than you do up in New York.

- I'm from California.

- Just as bad.

You must be a newspaper man.

- Okay.

Okay.

Now, there's no need for anger from anybody, Mr., uh?...

- Sokol.

Marvin Sokol.

May I use your telephone?

- You didn't come here to cause trouble, did you?

- Look, my name is Marvin Sokol.

I came here from Hollywood, California, USA.

I came here to talk with Homer Wingo.

Now does that satisfy you gentlemen?

How can I get in touch with his wife or next of kin?

- Well, I'm afraid he had none.

He was the last of the Wingos around here, or anywhere, to my knowledge.

- You mean to say he died without leaving-- Oh, that's right.

I didn't connect all that idiotic conversation a minute ago until now.

I'm so damn confused.

And there he is lying there.

Homer Wingo.

- He was penniless as far as any of us knew.

We were going to call the funeral home, but certain would-be politicians decided to make a political issue out of it, so we haven't done anything yet.

- May I use your telephone?

- What for?

- I want to call someone.

I'll be calling collect.

May I use it?

- You're not going to be calling on your TV station or your newspaper, are you?

We don't want any trouble.

- Sir, I am not from any newspaper or TV network, and I have no need to call them.

I'm calling someone in Hollywood, California.

Now, I'll be glad to pay you for the brief use of it, and I'm calling collect!

- Okay, you can use my telephone.

There'’s a booth over there.

- Thanks.

- Who is he?

- He talks real smart.

- Like he was somebody.

- He causes any trouble.

I'm libel to help him out of here.

- What'’s the fellow from Hollywood got business here for?

- I'd like to find out.

- That's all right, operator.

I'll try again later.

- Son...

I don't want to seem nosy, but we don't have too many people from California through here, and today's been right trying for all of us.

- Sir, no more trying for you than it has been for me.

- State your business in this town.

- It's okay, Hinton.

I'll handle it.

Mr... Mr. Sokol, I'm Floyd Beemer, the Mayor.

I apologize for our town not giving you a very hospitable welcome, but it's not like us most of the time.

This Wingo incident has got us all a little nervous.

- Is it always this hot here?

- Humidity'’s up today.

Let's sit over in the park.

Might be a little cooler over there.

(bright string music) You're right, son.

We ought to do something about young Wingo in there.

- A bit late, don't you think?

- You say he was famous?

- Of course.

- You mean for all those books he was supposed to have written?

- You mean you people didn't know that?

No, I don't guess you would.

- No... the library over in Petunia doesn't have any books by Homer Wingo.

Somebody wanted to keep the books out of the library because such things are not good influences on the children.

But the librarian over there said Homer Wingo didn't write any books, so nobody tried to have them taken out any more.

- Oh he wrote books, all right.

Now, you say no one had read them yet they wanted to ban them.

- Well, some people don't want dirty books to get into the hands of the children.

I'm concerned about all the smut myself.

- You don't understand what I'm asking.

How did they know the books were dirty if no one had even heard of them, much less read them?

- Wingo himself said so.

Went around telling everybody he was writing dirty books.

Some believed him, some didn't.

- (laughs) What a beautiful put-on.

And you just took it for granted from then on?

- No reason for some of us not to.

- Beautiful.

- We're pretty touchy around here when it comes to morals.

- The reason you couldn't find any of his works in the library is because he used a pseudonym, a pen name, like Mark Twain.

Another name, not his own.

- You know, that's what he kept telling people.

But I guess nobody ever figured out what name it was he was using.

- Horace Whitfield.

H. W. Homer Wingo.

Horace Whitfield.

He had two bestsellers in as many years.

Sweetheart, Whitfield was really a hot item.

- Horace Whitfield.

- Well, now that I've spilled the proverbial beans, I might as well tell you that he had a deal with his publisher not to reveal his true identity to anyone, under any circumstance.

So that's how none of you knew.

No one knew, for that matter, until Merritt Winston somehow found out.

Could have been an accident, I guess.

- Who's Merritt Winston?

- A movie producer.

- Oh?

- And Wingo, I mean Whitfield, left no heirs, no one?

- Not legally, (laughing) if you catch the catch.

At least none that I know about.

I've been here all my life.

So has Wingo.

- Well, that fixes me.

- Hmm?

- Winston Productions'’ legal department is now minus one very promising lawyer.

- I thought you said you weren'’t a lawyer.

- I lied.

I had to to get that hayseed weirdo off my back.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- (laughing) That's all right, son.

I guess we're all hayseed weirdoes to a city fella like yourself.

Did Wingo make anything off those best sellers?

- Hmm.

You better believe it, sweetheart.

Must have it.

Did he have a bank account here?

- Well, if he did, everybody would know about it.

Such things are news in a small town like Moses.

He didn't even have his family's good name.

Some people around here thought he was downright peculiar.

Came from a good family, too.

- So I've heard.

All this just doesn't make sense.

No bank account, no family or anything.

- Things like this happen to me all the time.

- What'’s the matter with you, Harv?

You'’re pacing up now like a bullfrog in heat.

- I just don't see no sense in leaving him laying there in the doorway, wasting my air conditioning.

- Okay, Harv, I'’ll help you drag him back inside the door.

I don't guess that would hurt anything.

(string music) - What did you want with him, if I may ask?

- Is the county courthouse here in Moses?

- Of course.

We're the county seat.

It's right across the square yonder.

- Hmm.

I should have guessed that.

Looks like a courthouse.

Is it open today?

- Oh, yes.

Most of the offices are closed for lunch, but they'll open back up.

As a matter of fact, I better get over to my office and open it up.

I'm the county clerk.

- Beautiful.

Listen, you'’re just the man I want to see.

Is there a hotel or a motel around here?

I may be staying a few days to do some research.

Now, I can have access to the files in your office?

- Certainly, son.

Public property.

There's a Land and Isle Motel about six miles up the highway.

Reasonable rates, I hear.

The county clerk's office is the first door on the left as you go in front door.

- Yeah.

I'll take a room, then come back.

Thank you for your help, Mayor Beemer.

(light music) - Who is that fella?

- You know as much as I do.

I didn't find out any more than what he said inside.

I don't think he's any kind of troublemaker, though.

- He better not be.

(tense music) - But Merritt, sweetheart now now, I told you I am working on an angle.

Now, we know for a fact that Whitfield was shrewd enough to retain all the rights to his works.

All I have to do is find a long-lost relative and negotiate with them.

It's just that simple.

- Marvin, baby, you know how much this means to me.

And you know how much I dislike failure in anyone.

We just can't have another studio come along and buy him out from under us.

- I haven't failed you yet, have I?

- Look, sweetheart, that's why I sent you to close the deal.

But remember, just one failure, and you're looking for another job.

- Fear not, lover.

Marvin Sokol, Boy Wonder, will come through as he always has.

- Keep me posted.

- Did she really swell up?

- Who?

- The lady that got poisoned?

- What lady?

- The lady in "“True Detective.

"” - In "“True Detective?

"” - The one that was stepping out on her husband.

- Oh her.

You know, I don't remember.

- Well, damn.

- Business has been right good for you today.

Makes a good attraction.

Like all them monkey and alligator places down in Florida.

- Look Laten, let'’s throw him in the back of my pickup and take him down to Barksdale.

I don't want in lying around here drawing flies.

- Harv, what'’ll they do with him over in Barksdale?

- I don't care.

They can hang him in a window for all I care.

- Let's just leave him laying for the time being.

- Hell'’s bells.

- So this Winston fella wants to make some movies based on Wingo's books.

Really didn't think Wingo had it in him.

- Mayor Beemer, I can't impress upon you the importance of keeping this confidential.

- Don't worry about that, son.

- Thank you, Mayor Beemer.

- Yes, sir, being mayor and county clerk does have some advantages.

Not much happens around here I don't know about.

- The Wingo family didn't believe in having many children, did they?

- Funny thing, Homer was an only child.

So was his daddy.

We grew up together.

Fine Christian gentleman.

His daddy was an only child too, I think.

Don't know about the great-granddaddy.

And that's strange, too, for those days and times.

People back then used to have a whole passel of children.

Son, all those movies your boss wants to make based on Wingo's books, that's a lot of money, isn't it?

- Well, it could be.

Of course, we can't pay Wingo now, but if we could just find a relative.

- You say Wingo actually did write those bestselling books?

- You better believe it, sweetheart.

Homer Wingo, alias Horrace Whitfield, had two biggies.

I'm just hoping against hope I can find something in here.

Hey!

Perhaps he had a family Bible or the like.

You know, sometimes records are kept in there.

- Perhaps.

- Well, what is the possibility of my getting into Wingo's house to look around?

- Mr. Sokol!

That's not only illegal, it's downright un-American.

A man's home is his castle.

Sacred.

Even a dead man'’s.

- All right, now.

Am I right in assuming that in this state, the state takes possession of all the property of the deceased who leaves no heir as a will?

- Unless there are some outstanding debts owed to the county or town the deceased resided in.

- Like property taxes.

- That's right.

- Looks like he could have married and had some kids or something.

- Are you married?

- Yes.

I mean, divorced.

- Happens a lot out in California, doesn't it?

- What?

Marriage or divorce?

- Well, divorce.

- Well, I suppose so.

About as much as marriage.

- Quittin'’ time.

I'm not in either of my official capacities until 8:00 tomorrow morning.

Care for a little snort?

- No, I don'’t-- Well, yes, I do, too.

- Here you go.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

A little hospitality will do everybody good.

- This must be the hottest place in the world.

- Harv, give me one of them chili cheeseburgers.

- Gotcha.

- Boy they sure build these women right nowadays.

- That's a fact.

Harv, you won't be able to sell them girlie magazines now.

They're used.

- Don't sell many of them anyways.

Spend half my time chasing the kids out of here.

You have to go on down the drugstore and read theirs.

Wouldn't be so bad if they bought one once in a while, but all they do is mess up the pages.

- I guess Wingo got a few of his down at the drugstore.

If he'’s as famous as that fella says.

- Shoot.

Famous writers don't have books like that.

- I wonder what his books are like.

- Pretty damn bad, I'’ll bet.

- Better see about my chili cheeseburger.

- (mocking) "“Better see about my chili cheeseburger.

"” I don't tell you how to police, do I?

You've got to have the worst eating habits of any one individual I know.

- Fenton's just a teenager at heart and stomach.

- Anybody that can eat a peach soda and a chili cheeseburger for three meals a day ought to have is stomach pumped.

- Beats staring at two ugly eggs every morning.

- What you need is a wife.

- I need some salt.

- Well, he ain'’t swole up yet.

(country fiddle music) - Now, did you give up finding anything?

- Yes, for the time being.

- Why not call it a day and come back tomorrow morning?

Flo May will be expecting me.

I better go home.

- Mayor Beemer, I would be more than happy to make it quite worth your while if you could arrange it so that I might look around Wingo's house.

- Mister Sokol!

- I thought not.

No harm in trying.

Thank you for your help.

- That's all right.

My pleasure.

I hope you have better luck tomorrow.

- Thank you.

Good night.

- Good night, boy.

See you in the morning.

(slow violin music) (phone rings) (phone rings) (phone rings) Hello.

Yes, dear.

I can't right now.

You'’ll just have to warm it up later.

But Flo May, I'm working on something very important.

Now, the tuna casserole can wait.

But dear, this is important.

Now listen to me.

I want you to call Marshall Ard for me.

Try down at the pool hall first.

If you don't get him there, then try at the Tasty Treat Drive In.

Now when you-- No Flo May, there hasn't been a robbery or anything.

Yes, yes.

It's terrible him dying right here in the cafe.

Now will you call him for me?

Tell him to come over here to my office as soon as possible.

Now I'll get home as soon as I can.

Bye bye.

Dang it.

Can't even do my duty without making somebody mad.

- Marvin, baby, you better hustle.

If you don't come up with a relative soon...

Wait a minute.

What if the state took possession of all of Wingo'’s works?

All we'’d have to do is lay a few thousand dollars on the right official.

Nah.

Would be a lot of trouble.

It could be done.

If only I could find a record somewhere.

He'’s bound to have a family Bible somewhere.

Something has a record.

Well, there'’s no use thinking about it tonight.

Better get to sleep.

Rest up.

Tomorrow is going to be a long one.

(slow violin music) - Oh Hinten, good.

Flo May got hold of you.

- Right in the middle of my domino game.

- I need to ask you to do something for me.

Well, actually, not for me, but for the town.

- Okay.

- Now, I want you to go down to the old Wingo house and make sure it's all locked up good and tight.

- Bodies still down at Snipe's Cafe.

- I know.

Now, while you're there, I want you to look around for old family Bible.

- Bible??

At Wingo'’s??

- Well, it wouldn't be his.

Now, look for an old one, a big one.

You know the kind I mean.

- Okay, then can I get back to my domino game?

- Oh, come on, Hinten.

Now, this won't take long.

Now, believe me when I say it's very important.

I'll explain later.

- Okay.

Okay.

(phone rings) (phone rings) - Hello.

- Boy?

Wake up!

How much did you say this movie producer is ready to pay for those books?

- Merritt, baby, I'm working on something.

An angle.

Honestly, I - I got '‘em eat-- eating out of my hand.

- Now wake up, you fool.

Now listen to me.

I found something very important to you.

Get over here to my office right away if you want to get what you came after.

- All right, I'm-- I'm coming.

Okay.

- Wonder of wonders.

Floyd Beemer, you just reelected yourself, Mayor for life.

(jaunty fiddle music) Ah, that's good.

Now, let's see.

(knocking) Come in.

Come in, boy.

Glad to see you.

Time to talk turkey, son.

- What?

- I said it's time to talk turkey.

- Turkey?

- Business, boy.

Movie business.

- Oh, you must have found Wingo's lost bastard son.

- Better than that.

There's the little baby right there.

But before we go any further.

How much is this movie man of yours prepared to shell out?

- Merritt Winston is not in the habit of shelling out one penny unless he knows it's something worth buying.

Now, I don't know that there's really one thing worth buying, do I?

- Okay, okay.

I've kept you in suspense long enough tonight.

You know, that just came jumping off the page.

Hit me like a prayer from heaven.

You know, I think some angel has directed my hand or the like as though it was planned for the town.

You know, I actually believe-— - So that's it!

- That's right.

Back in 1875.

But before we go into details, let's have a little snort to celebrate.

Go ahead.

Take it, Melvin.

- Marvin.

- Here's to Hollywood, and all.

Go ahead.

Drink it.

It'll wake you up.

Pretty good waker upper, huh?

- Oh, my God.

And it never was signed over after or before his death?

- No.

- My golly, I'll drink to that.

It's getting to be an interesting case.

What about precedents?

- Oh, don't worry, there.

We have a mess of them in this town, a mess of them!

- Let'’s see, that means that back in 1875, one aforementioned Thaddeus Wingo, grandfather-- - Great grandfather!

- Yes, great grandfather to my friend and yours, one Homer Wingo, alias Horrace Whitfield, had a home.

No, a house.

A dwelling.

Ah, that's more in the realm of legal language.

Home has too many of conotated ramifications.

Now a house, a dwelling on the corner, out of, of?

- The corner of Mimosa and Court Street, Marv.

- Yes, now, this said property, along with the same structure, was legally deeded to the incorporated town of Moses in this state for the purpose of, quote, educating young people, unquote.

Which means, we assume, to build a schoolhouse, or at least establish one or something or other.

And now, hang on to this, ladies and gentlemen, that property was never, never signed over again to the Wingo family, which means, in plain English-- take it away, Mayor Beemer.

- Which means that the Wingo family has been living on municipal property since 1875.

(both laughing heartily) Oh, the way I feel now, I could drink a whole gallon of Jamaican Gin!

(continues laughing) - Yeah, fate is a funny thing.

I mean, you take Merritt Winston, the movie producer.

No one else could have luck like he does.

I mean, anyone else just plods through life and never gets an even break.

But that dirty old man with his $2 cigars has it fall right in his lap.

Thems that got, gets, I guess.

- You mean you haven't enjoyed working for him, then?

- Oh, I don't know.

I really haven't thought about it much.

That'’s how Winston works.

He doesn't give you time to think about it.

Therefore, you don't have time to think about what you just did or why.

You just have to react to the next situation that comes along.

- Taking each thing as it comes along is a lot like the mayor's job.

Public service requires a lot of energy and dedication the ordinary people don't realize.

Like my sitting here all night going through all these books.

- It's the darndest thing.

I mean, this is the first time I've really thought about it.

Here I am, 32 years old, and I've been working for a movie producer in Hollywood ever since my graduation from Harvard.

And I managed to run through a marriage and a divorce, untold affairs, no telling how many legal disasters, and I've never really thought about it.

- Yes, sir.

I've been trying to help the people of this town for years, and nobody ever really seems to appreciate it.

- Now you take my ex-wife, for instance.

I never think about her unless I bump into her accidentally.

I never think about her even when I make out the alimony check each month.

- I try to help all the people in this town irregardless of race, color, or creed.

If they have a problem, I'll listen to it no matter how small or piddling the problem may seem.

I even went out of my way to help old Findley Bobo get his cow back from that sorry brother of his who stole it.

It wasn't my job as the mayor, being in the county jurisdiction, but I went out there anyway and tried to reason with him.

- Five years.

Five years, I worked for that crook.

And not once did he show me any respect.

That's all I ask.

Just show me some respect.

Treat me like a human being.

- "“John David,"” I said, "“Now you know that cow belongs to Findlay there, and you ought to give it back to him.

If you don't, I'll call the high sheriff and have you put in jail.

"” Things I've done for the people in this town, and nobody ever seems to show the teeniest appreciation.

Not even my own wife.

All she thinks about is tuna casseroles.

- He'll have more respect for me after this, the jerk.

- Million dollars ought to do it.

- Yeah, I guess so.

A million bucks?!

- Well, there's a lot of things involved here.

There's all those back taxes owing to the town since 1875.

The town can ask any amount it wants to per year for those taxes.

Plus, there's court costs, research fees, legal fees, all sorts of other things.

- Yeah, but a cool million?

- Besides, you're getting all of Wingo'’s books, which are part of the personal estate, owed to the town of Moses.

- $400,000.

- $999,999.

- Judas Priest.

Merritt Winston hadn't got anything on you.

- I told you I want to take care of all the people in this town.

- Okay, help me up.

I'’ve got to call California and get the old man's okay.

(laughing uproariously) (fast fiddle music) I tell you one thing, boy, we're going to have us one hell of a funeral.

(organ playing "“Rock of Ages"”) - Wee!

There's a lot of folks out there.

- When would you like for the people to come in and see the body?

- Not until Mr. Winston gets here from the motel.

- And we also would like to get a few photos before.

You know, maybe some with you and Mayor Beamer next to Mr. Winston and the casket.

- Fine.

Since the deceased has no relatives of his own, you and Mrs. Beamer may sit in the section usually reserved for that purpose, and Mr. Winston, of course.

- Oh, speaking of Mr. Winston, he called and said he's on his way from the motel.

We got a highway patrol escort for him.

- Good!

Maybe I better go outside and wait for him.

You better go out front and help with the crowd, Hinten.

- Right.

- Nice casket.

- Yes.

One the finest money can buy.

It's a beautiful tribute to a man.

You couldn't ask for a more beautiful tribute.

- Yeah, sure.

This metal might pick up reflections of the flash.

We better get some dulling spray before we start shooting.

We don't want any glare to spoil the impact.

- Fine, fine.

(organ plays loudly) Sammy, for heaven's sake, not so loud.

(organ plays softer) Fine.

Fine.

- Not now Krangle.

- Mr. Winston, glad you could come, sir.

- Thank you.

Where is the dear genius?

- Who?

- He's right over here, Mr. Winston.

- There he is.

Such genius.

Is this the best casket you could find?

- This is one of the best money can buy.

- I don'’t want ONE of the best, I want THE best for this genius.

- But Mr. Winston... - What Mayor Beamer means is that this is the best one in the area.

Mr. Cox had to go all the way to the capital to get it.

It would be impossible to get a better one on such short notice.

- We'll just have to get a bigger headstone.

Yes, mausoleum to make up for it.

You'll see to it, won't you, Mayor Beamer?

- Well, I guess.

- I know it's not in our original deal, all the additional money involved, but in the long run, you'll be glad that you spent all that extra money.

Think of all the tourists who will just flock here to see his grave.

Tourists mean money, big money.

Take my word for it.

That will be money well spent.

- Such genius.

I only wish you could have lived long enough to come out and write for me, my boy.

Such genius.

(organ continues throughout) - This way, Mr. Winston.

- Just a minute, Krangle.

- Mess of foks, huh?

- You're right.

Wish I could get them down to my place.

- Willard sure did a good job, didn't he?

- He sure did do a good job.

- See that girl in green dress over there?

Get her name for me and remind me to ask if she wants a screen test.

- Must be exciting working in Hollywood and all.

- I might be able to arrange for you to have a screen test, or something.

- What a circus.

No.

This isn't a circus.

It's a zoo.

- A lovely tribute.

- Yes Flo May, it is.

- You are to be congratulated for all the help you've given and the wonderful job you've done.

- Fine.

Fine.

- He looks so-— - Is he dead, Mama?

- Yes, honey.

He's dead.

- All that for all those dirty books.

- Such genius.

- Screen test?

- Too soon passing from this life.

Too soon passing.

(small county band plays "“In the Sweet By and By)