♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ George Hughes Tillmon: Yeah, but my day was okay, it was like, I wanna say it's not really anything exciting, just very hot.

Dan Lukasik: Yeah, it's very hot, very hot, but exercise is important, you know.

George: You said your day was, it was like-- Dan: Yeah, the beginning was not so good.

I mean it really wasn't, at least I was by myself, and when I'm by myself, it gets worse.

It tends--I don't wanna bother anybody, you know, you know?

You know, it all goes-- ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Dan: I'm Dan Lukasik.

I'm almost 64 years old and I grew up outside Lockport, New York, in a old farmhouse in Newfane and grew up in a working class family.

I'm the fourth out of five kids.

My dad was a World War II vet.

A lot of my childhood was taken up by my dad's alcoholism, and I spent a lot of time living in fear and anxiety of my father, as we all did, my four siblings and my mom too.

George: My name is George.

I was born and raised in the East Side of Buffalo.

You could say I'm more of a passionate and loving person.

I would like to think of myself as that.

My childhood was a complex but beautiful thing.

I didn't have my father, but just my mom, my grandfather, her mom, and my godmother in the church, so it was like I was surrounded by women.

My grandfather was the only male in my life at the time.

He was like my father figure in a way.

Literally, literally, I called him Dad.

Georgette: George, ever since he was a kid, has had a-- some type of gift with helping people and not even noticing as his self as a child that he brought so much joy and peace and mercy to people without even knowing.

I've noticed through him growing up, a lot of people have seeked and found some sort of compassion and acceptance and love in my child.

♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Bernice "Bunny" Skirboll: Friendship is just the core of our existence.

Whatever happens in people's lives, there's a lot of sadness, a lot of situations that happen where they really do need to have the support of caring friends.

Cheri Alvarez: Peer connection is so important because it helps individuals to feel that they belong, that people accept them, that they're not alone.

George: In younger ages I had a lot of fun.

I played football with my friends outside, basketball, but even with the good and beautiful, it was some violence in the neighborhood.

Once I got older it was more of I had to stay in the house for my safety because of the stuff that was happening around in my neighborhood, so it kind of became more suppressed because I was in the house all the time.

Dan: I've lived with depression for 25 years, can be so lonely and sad and empty, just a really horrible feeling.

I would often isolate myself, be disconnected from other people, because I just didn't feel well.

I used to think that, you know, no one could really understand what I was experiencing with depression.

I didn't--it could be really tough.

Bunny: Today it's been called by the Surgeon General a national epidemic, loneliness.

Many people die of loneliness.

We want to make sure that people don't want to die, that they want to live, and that's what-- where Compeer comes in, says, "I care enough about you to be your friend.

I don't--I'm not giving up on you."

Cheri: Often with a mental health challenge you experience loneliness and isolation and you might feel like you're the only person who's experiencing that, but when someone comes into your life and they're accepting of you and they're listening and they're a good friend, then you feel less alone and you feel encouraged and ready to tackle whatever challenges you might be experiencing.

George: My grandfather died when I was, like, six, seven, and that kind of like impacted my childhood a lot.

He was like my like, literally, the man in my life and he guided me through a lot of stuff and him dying was a--was a hard thing for me, so I like, I kind of put myself in like in a shell and like, I'd, like, act out at school.

I was like fighting all the time.

The same year it was my sis, my baby sister, and my grandmother too, so it was all in the same year.

I was going through a lot, that time period.

That was one of the reasons why I got matched up with Dan.

Jeanne: George had lost his grandfather.

He was a--Mr.

Hughes was a firefighter for Buffalo and he died suddenly and George took it so badly, you know, he was so close to his grandfather.

That was like his father image.

Dan: A friend of mine told me about this place called Saint Luke's Mission on the east side of Buffalo, and I'd never heard of it, and I said, "I really don't know quite why I'm here.

I want to in some way be helpful to people in the community.

If it's possible, I'd like to mentor a child.

I have a wonderful wife and daughter who means the world to me, you know, and I don't have a son, so ideally a boy."

And they said--she said, "Yeah, I think we have one in mind."

So she took me upstairs into the elementary school and she goes, "There he is."

She pointed him out in the classroom and just at that moment, just at the moment she was introducing--she's about to introduce him, he flipped his desk upside down and all the crayons and papers and pencils fell out.

The classroom was like chaos at the time.

And I said, "Oh boy, you know, really?

You know, what would I be getting myself into?"

But I decided to go forward.

George: And I was like kind of embarrassed because like I literally just flipped and emptied out my whole entire desk in front of him.

Georgette: Mr.

Dan and George met, what was it?

Ten years ago?

I'd say Dan is literally like a part of our family.

Bunny: I was in a serious automobile accident when I was in my 20s and required 2 months of hospitalization, and I realized how fortunate I was compared to the other people that were there and had nobody to really say, you know, "I want you to get well and be well" and motivate me.

George: Initially, when I first met him, I was like, "Who's this big white man?"

Like, I was, like, I was scared.

After that, I was, I don't know, I was more afraid to let him in.

Dan: The first time we met, I generally don't think it went too well.

George was not very talkative to me, if anything.

He, as, you know, as time went on, he would kick me or punch me or, you know, we really just didn't have a very good time together.

Jeanne: At first George was not trusting another male adult because sometimes people come and go into our lives, but Dan stayed, Mr.

Dan stayed.

He's watched George grow up.

Dan: After a few months of that, I dropped him off and I--as he's getting out of the car, I'd say, you know, "I love you, George."

And nothing, you know.

But every week I'd keep saying that, you know, and maybe like 4 or 5 months went by and one day I said, you know, "I love you, George," and he kind of grumbled back, "I love you too," you know?

And it really is, you know, a very vivid memory of mine about us.

I added the phrase, and I meant it from my heart, you know, "George, I love you and I believe in you 1000%."

Growing up, I never had a dad who said anything like those things.

For some reason, I knew that I wanted to give that to George.

George: He showed me that he--I had nothing to worry about.

Like, he was a calm, passionate, and loving person.

Like, I felt safe as I got to know him more.

As our like relationship evolved, he became my best friend.

Bunny: Friendships take time to develop, and trust and respect, so it does--it takes some time.

Cheri: Our legacy program is our one to one friendship where we match an individual experiencing a mental health challenge with a volunteer from the community for friendship.

Bunny: A program like Compeer, we have the training that's necessary for volunteers to understand how to form a relationship and how to keep that relationship and what are the do's and don'ts.

If you know that there are-- there is someone, at least one other person, that cares about you and says and believes in you, that makes all the world of difference.

George: I learned a lot, especially when it came to controlling my anger.

Like, he taught me like to just relax, breathe.

Dan: I would talk to George about my own inner feelings, my own inner life.

I would tell him what it was like to be experiencing depression.

The more we share with people, it can give them permission to share too.

And then George would start sharing with me, you know, his feelings or his inner thoughts and it made some--for some pretty rich and interesting conversation.

George: He just taught me the respect that I should have when it comes to other people and how the way I present myself affects how people view me and how I should, like, be kind to people and others, 'cause that's like the right thing to do.

George: I'm happy, but I'm also like furious and more like worried of how it was gonna like go with my first year, especially like with the transportation and stuff like that and like me having to work and new school and it was just like-- Dan: You'll figure it out though, George, because you know, like we talked about too, you know, you get a handle in the next--first few weeks of college like how much time you're gonna need to study and stuff here and-- George: You already know most of the time I'm probably gonna be, if I'm not working or studying, I'll probably be with you.

Dan: Yeah, I already know that.

You know, your emotions are okay.

It's what you do with them.

Just like with me, I had to learn that the emotions that I had, the sadness, the sense of grief, it was okay to feel those feelings.

George: When my family told me he had depression, I was kind of worried for his sake.

It didn't change the way I thought about him or the way I saw him as a person.

It just like made me more cautious about his wellbeing.

In a way, we've both been there for each other and tell each other a lot of things.

Dan: I think, knowing that I was making George happy made me happy, you know, that I could have a positive effect because, you know, I think with depression, you lose a lot of your confidence, your self-esteem.

You feel lost, you feel a sense of helplessness and hopelessness.

Cheri: Compeer's mission is to provide friendship and connection for individuals who are experiencing a mental health challenge, and we focus on building trust, building social connection and providing a place where people feel safe and accepted.

Bunny: So the volunteers, when they fill out the surveys, they feel that they've enriched their own life as well, because I think that we all want to be needed and wanted.

Dan: In a lot of ways, you know, I relived my own childhood with George.

We would do really fun things, especially something like go-kart racing.

We just couldn't stop laughing.

But I think, you know, having fun when you're depressed is-- can be a tremendous antidote.

♪♪♪ Dan: One of the things we did a lot is drive around in my car.

He would play his favorite music.

And I thought of those times, you know, when I reflect on them, as my travels with George.

George: When we first met, he didn't listen to any Christian music at all.

Dan: He said, "You know, Mr.

Dan," he always calls me Mr.

Dan.

"You know," he said, "they're stories, you know, they're stories about life," and I came to see it that way.

And I grew to appreciate the music.

George: And I was just, I told him, I said that artists, even though some of the language is very inappropriate, I was like, that's just their way of telling their story.

Jeanne: I'm a missionary here at Saint Luke's Mission of Mercy.

I have noticed so many people just don't feel noticed.

They don't feel important.

They don't feel valued.

The missionaries here, we try to reflect God's love to people.

We value each person that we've seen--I've seen many people heal and grow and become assets to the community, where they weren't at one time, because they felt loved and valued.

Dan: My brother suffered from bipolar disorder his whole life, and after he died a couple of years ago, I called Saint Luke's to see if they could have a little service for him, and the next day we did, and it was the middle of the week and it might have been like 2 o'clock in the afternoon and there was the priest there and just a few other people, and all of a sudden I felt someone rubbing my shoulders behind me in the pew behind me and I looked around.

It was George.

You know, it really was a pretty powerful moment that he knew it was important to show up for me in my moment of sorrow at the loss of my brother, and it really meant the world to me.

George: When he told me about his brother dying, I can tell that it affected him a lot.

And I just wanted to make sure that he knew that I was there for him the way he's been there for me.

Bunny: The power of friendship, it's hard to measure, but to know that you have something to look forward to, that somebody cares, somebody you can talk to, that makes all the world of difference.

George: I feel like, with experience, human connection is a very powerful and important.

Without human connection, a person, like, can't really function correctly.

Me and his connection that we have together, I--made me realize how important human connection is, 'cause when I see somebody having a bad day, I just want them to know that they are seen and they're not alone and they're okay.

Like it's okay and like have-- knowing that someone like cares about you, even if it's just a little bit, it makes them feel like they still have hope.

Dan: It is so important for someone who's struggling to have that regular nourishing connection and, you know, it's-- that's really the best part of life is our friendships and our family, you know, and to the degree we have more of those in our lives, I think we do better.

Bunny: You know, a volunteer mentor is so important to open their eyes and, you know, to things that maybe they never thought of.

Dan: Now he's going to be the first person in his family to go to college, and he also got his first adult job working at Starbucks.

George: Coming from a person that doesn't--didn't grow up with a father, having that mentorship and that friendship with somebody that's able to lead you and give you guidance and advice is very good for, especially a male 'cause not having that guidance and mentorship can like lead you in other ways that you can't control, and I'm--I thank God every day that he gave me Mr.

Dan to teach me and lead me in ways that I probably wouldn't have did correctly if he wasn't there.

George: Well, like, work's actually getting better though.

I'm getting more used to like everything and like how to make the drinks and stuff like that.

Dan: You've come a long way, George, you know.

I love you, man, and I believe in you 1000%.

George: I love you too.

I know we got this together.

Bunny: One of the most beautiful things about Compeer is that it brings together people that maybe would have never met in the real world.

I love the stories and the lives that have been changed and whether, you know, that they've lived in different parts of the city, they--different religions, different race, color, or creed, it's--but it's the fact that there was something that brought them together.

George: I don't know if I can have Mr.

Dan not in my life.

So it's just like I'm gonna make sure that he stays in there--in my life as long as he can.

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