(upbeat music) - Recently my colleague on our sister program Lessons in Leadership, my colleague Mary Gamba and I sat down and spoke to a gentleman by the name of Ryan Stevens, speaker, organizational coach with an organization called Catalyzing, Coaching and Consulting.

What did we talk about?

Teamwork.

An old mentor of mine back in the day when I was playing football.

I was a place kicker, so some people say it wasn't really football, but the reality is he said there's no I in team.

And so the question is what does a great team look like?

What does it take in this post COVID world to be cohesive and be together with a lot of different egos?

People have different agendas.

That's exactly what Ryan Stevens talks about.

Teamwork in 2023 and beyond.

Welcome to Lessons in Leadership.

Steve Adubato, Mary Gamba.

Mary we have a fascinating guest who has props.

I thought I had props here.

I got a giant thing.

I got a Jet football.

I've got all kinds of props here.

I got T-shirts.

By the way, can people go on our website, Mary, to get a T-shirt?

- I have my prop too.

Actually we didn't put it on our website, but why don't I?

That'll be fun.

- Yeah, it's a hundred bucks a shirt.

Hundred bucks a... No I'm joking.

It's not.

It's going on our website.

We're gonna put it up there.

But Mary, do me a favor introduce Ryan 'cause we're gonna talk about team building and you are a great team member.

- Absolutely.

Ryan Stevens, nice to have you with us.

Speaker and organizational coach for Catalyzing, Coaching and Consulting.

Ryan, thank you so much for being with us today and for just bringing the energy level.

It's just a pleasure to have you on.

- Absolutely.

So glad to be here.

Steve I know you like props.

That's why I had it ready to go in case it came up so.

- Okay, I got this ball from the Somerset Patriots.

Patrick McVerry, the general manager there recommended you.

Did you know that I threw out the first pitch at a Patriots game and threw a 94 mile an hour strike off the mound?

- I did.

Actually I saw the video.

It looked like a two seam that was movement on it and it was, you know, people talk about it still to this day.

- It's like the shot heard around the world, right.

It's like everybody has heard about this.

- Since leadership is about being honest, it was actually not on the mound.

It was at the bottom of the mound and is, it was 56 miles an hour.

I just wanna clarify that.

- Did they actually, did they actually clock it?

- No, I made that Mary, I made the whole thing up.

Will you stop?

So do us a favor, Ryan, Catalyzing Coaching and where the heck's the name come from?

When people see the graphic, they're gonna be like, hey, what's up with that?

Go ahead.

- Absolutely.

First of all, when it comes to the catalyzing, you know, the catalyzing concept is something that sparks change in something else.

And that could be in a good way or a not so good way.

So the catalyzing brand, the igniting potential being a spark or finding, helping someone bring out their own spark, that's really where the brand came from, when I launched my podcast four years ago, the Catalyzing podcast.

The Catalyzing Coaching and Consulting, the big A and T is for awesome teams.

My foundation for 20 years, I've been a licensed healthcare provider, an athletic trainer.

So of course there's the AT there, but awesome teams is really what I'm here to help guide organizations for because it feels really great to be a part of that.

And there's so many different things to go into that.

- Good stuff.

And Ryan, you also came from our good friend Rob Sansone up at Fedway.

Talk about great teams.

Our company, our firm Stand and Deliver has been doing the, leading the Fedway Leadership Academy for going into the third year.

And I'll tell you that is a great team, Fedway is a great team.

It also happen to be a sponsor of Lessons and Leadership, if you will.

But I gotta ask you this, is being a great team member.

Our daughter is 13 playing softball and there are times when she's doing really well.

She's a great team member.

But she literally, I hope she's not watching this.

She got pinch run for the other day because someone was actually faster than her on the team and I saw her sulking and not happy and she went out to play third base next inning and made an error.

And I could tell she wasn't there.

Question.

Is it natural for us to be great team members and sometimes realize that the coach makes a decision that's best for the team, even if we don't like it?

I know that's complicated.

Not about our daughter, it's about being a team member, which ain't about us.

Go ahead.

- No, that's a great question.

And I think that's one of the biggest challenges leaders face now with such a diverse workforce.

And then you've got people that are working hybrid, they're working remote, they're in the office.

You have all these personalities, all these different areas that people, that are important to each of those team members.

I feel one of the most important things you can do as a leader is really empower the concept of shared leadership.

What I mean by that is everybody has to take ownership of what they can control and what their role is in the bigger picture.

And it's a leader's job and responsibility to communicate that clearly, but also empathetically.

And what that comes down to is if you have people with different skill sets, they have to be very clear on what their expectations are as well as what their expectations are of the leader, and where they fit into that journey and that mission.

So in the example of that you gave, there may be times where there's someone else on the team that is more appropriate for that role or that project.

- Absolutely.

- And you have, as a leader have to make that decision.

But here's the key.

If you just do it and you move on, that doesn't help the future.

This is an opportunity where you can have a mentorship opportunity or you can build up that person that wants that, tag them together in small group work and then have shared leadership and empower them to be a part of it, which is so crucial.

And then you get them to buy in and then next time that comes out, it's their time to step in and hit.

- As Mary jumps in here.

The mistake that was made was that the coach did not explain, and she's a great coach, love her.

But then the next morning I said, Olivia, "Do you know why you're a pinch run for?"

She goes, "No."

I said, well, so-and-so was a faster runner.

No she's not.

And so now our daughter's delusional about how fast she is.

That being, I'm sorry Mary.

I'll deal with our family issues separately.

Go ahead Mary.

- I swear we share a brain though, 'cause I was just gonna talk about that defensiveness and that defense mechanism.

Steve and I often, I mean-- - I'm so fast!

- Yeah right, and I have talked, yeah.

Ryan, Steve and I have worked together for 23 years.

So I used to be defensive.

I used to not be able to be open to hearing feedback right.

It's a gift they say, yeah, it's not a gift 'cause it doesn't feel like a gift.

If that's a gift it's a gift I don't want.

But how do you manage building a collaborative team where one that, I know you talk a lot about trust, I did my research.

But when you give that feedback to your team members and like Steve was just talking about Olivia, you know, yeah, I'm just as fast or I'm faster than her.

So where does the whole defensiveness and trying to get that team to not be defensive when you are having to make tough decisions?

- And I can relate to that because especially early in my career as a young adult, that was me.

I was stubborn.

I was set in my ways.

I had to, I was really effective at what I did.

But I didn't have a good, I didn't do a good job of accepting feedback.

And what I've learned through, I got my master's degree in humanistic and multicultural education.

I've studied under Dale Carnegie training systems.

Daniel Goldman, the man there.

Emotional intelligence is so-- - I'm just saying.

Go ahead.

- Absolutely.

And what I feel, Mary, it's a great question.

Affirmation and demonstrations of support are so crucial as a leader, but then also a leader, empowering an environment where team members do that for one another.

When you can feel like you can be yourself on the team.

When you can feel a little vulnerable.

And I always took pride in that as a leader, being vulnerable with my team when I needed support with things, when I was looking for feedback because I wanted to be best, my best version for them.

So when you do those things, you bring the walls down, you build bridges, not walls.

So you have to find ways in order to have that conversation.

You affirm them, you provide feedback that's constructive, but you also help them realize it's not that they're being reprimanded or that they're wrong.

It is helping them make a decision together of next time this happens, how do we handle this?

What can we do?

We're all human.

We make mistakes.

As long as we learn from 'em.

But the key is as a leader and team members is having conversations that are open for two-directional conversation that allows you to let that wall down.

- I appreciate that, but Mary, but let's play this out a little bit more.

I will be "Vulnerable," and show my vulnerability otherwise in my family known as weakness.

I don't wanna play word games.

I'll let Mary see it, because there's 23 years, there's trust and whatever.

I can't let the rest of the team know that I am as vulnerable as I let Mary know I am.

So it isn't the degree to which we demonstrate or show vulnerability strategic based on who our audience is?

- It's strategic in terms of who else is in the room, in the audience.

Absolutely.

Because it's a matter of as a leader, it's about them it's not about me.

It's about what is best for my team while I'm driving the bus and putting people in the right position to be successful.

- Is there no, I in team?

- What was that?

- Is there no, I in team?

- I's make up the team, but they have to be a collective we.

So everybody has to be an I in terms of owning their space and what they do.

But the team is the we.

Does that make sense?

- It does.

But I... Mary, real quick 'cause Ryan's with us right now, and I don't wanna take up too much time back and forth.

Mary, do you believe that the rest of the team could and should know that I'm feeling vulnerable as the leader or you as a co-leader of the team feeling vulnerable about fundraising or about our future?

Or do we have to present to them, hey we got this?

- I'm gonna do an answer of both?

I think that the team does need to know that their leader is a human being and that they do sometimes feel vulnerable.

Because once you show that, but then you also give them the confidence in your next breath of, yeah.

You know, is it gonna be hard to reach our numbers this month?

Absolutely.

- Absolutely.

- I feel that.

But I'm gonna, I'm here to tell you that I have the confidence in us and our team to get there.

So I think you need to have a little bit of sprinkling of both.

- Hold on we're taping this late.

Hold on, Ryan, we're taping this.

- Here we go.

- No, I'm gonna do it.

We're taping this in late September.

It'll be seen later.

The season will be over.

It's already over for the Jets.

Robert Saleh, who right now is the coach of the Jets, we don't know what's gonna happen.

Scarlyn's looking at me.

He had to tell his team that their best chance to win was with Zach Wilson, who's probably, I don't know where he is right now as we, as it is gonna be seen.

I don't believe he believed that.

Can he be vulnerable enough to say, listen, I know we can't win with this guy.

I know that we have no chance.

We lost Aaron Rogers.

I mean, what are we gonna do?

You can't put that out there, Ryan right?

- Well I agree with you in that you can't be demonstrating vulnerability in a way that brings others down.

I look at it as demonstrating vulnerability in that we can do this together.

We're gonna figure it out.

We may not have it figured out yet.

Or I need help with X, Y, and Z.

And you know what, Mary, Steve, you two are fantastic at that.

Can I get your support with this, because we have the opportunity to take this on?

So you reframe the vulnerability in a way that is beneficial and brings them in to the shared mission versus looking like it's a me versus them or pointing fingers type thing.

But you're right, there's times where you have as a leader, you have to shield them from the crap.

You have to shield them from the bad stuff and be like, listen, we got this.

This is our best opportunity.

In your head you may be thinking, oh crap, we lost Aaron Rogers.

But, everything is in this guy right now, Zach Wilson.

He's the man.

We're gonna make it happen.

- Well, as we speak, you can't go in and say we suck.

We know we're not gonna win.

You can't do that.

- Exactly.

- Even if you think, hold on.

I'll let you go after this.

Even Ryan, if you think it in your heart and in your head, we stink.

We're never gonna win.

We lost our guy.

He was everything us.

You can't do that.

- You're right.

You gotta build him 'em up.

- No, I'm asking.

You can't do that?

- No, no, you're right.

You have to build up your team.

And that's demonstrating support and affirmation.

- That's Ryan Stevens, speaker organizational coach with Catalyzing, Coaching and Consulting.

We wanna thank Rob Sansone from Fedway and Patrick McVerry.

- There's your prop Steve.

There's your prop.

You got that wrestling belt.

- Oh Mary and I love WWE and what's the other wrestling?

- And AEW.

- AEW yeah.

- It's the Catalyzing team champion.

And then we've got the own your spark side plate.

- [Mary] Oh my gosh.

- [Steve] Look at the... - And the fire within side plate.

- [Mary] I am in love.

- How do we get?

- That belt's amazing.

- I bring this my gigs and people love it.

And my clients, they get to take advantage of some stuff with it.

- That's great.

- Ryan thank you my friend.

Good stuff.

- I appreciate you both.

- Mary and I will be back right after this.

- It's an honor belt.

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