♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Thank you.

♪ Oh!

Morning, Mrs. Drage.

♪ Thank you.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Alice!

Oh, wow.

What on earth are you doing here at this ungodly hour?

I've got something to tell you.

Yeah?

- These are beautiful.

- Oh, good.

They're economical, too.

Because it only takes a few bits of fern to make them up into the sort of sheath you can charge pots of money for.

Sheath?

Sheath?

Oh, go on, whichever.

Well, it is a long time, no see.

Yeah, I know.

Well, that's why I've come to see you.

Go on.

Do you remember when we made up a foursome to go to the theater?

To see that Noel Coward play?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I've been seeing quite a bit of one of our escorts since then.

Oh, no.

You mean the doting Dr. Harry Blunden's years of dogged devotion are finally going to be rewarded?

No, I'm going to marry Andrew Fielding.

The English teacher?

But-- But what?

Oh.

Oh, so romantic.

Makes me want to cry.

Thank you.

- Good morning, Ms. Whittaker.

- Good morning.

RECEPTIONIST: I'm afraid Dr. Blunden's with a patient at the moment.

Not anymore, he isn't.

Hello, Alice.

- Hello.

I saw you through the window.

Are you going to leave that poor man like that?

If I don't, I may strangle him.

Just go in there.

Thank you.

Sit down.

HARRY: Oh, you look positively gloomy.

Thank you.

Well, I am.

I've come to make an appointment for some overseas jabs.

Oh, off on your travels again?

Oh, just to the Caribbean.

Oh, splendid.

Well, I hope so.

I'm going on my honeymoon.

You're getting married?

Well, one usually does before going on one's honeymoon.

Yes, quite.

So who's the lucky man?

ALICE: Andrew Fielding.

You know, he came to the theater with us.

Oh, yes.

Um, do you know, I thought that he and Nesta were-- well, just goes to show you how unobservant you can be.

So when's the happy day?

14th of next month.

What, so soon?

Right.

Well, we better get on with your first tab right away.

Um, if I order today, come any time after 9 o'clock tomorrow.

I'm really pleased for you.

Thanks, Harry.

Best of doctors, best of friends.

Right.

Better get back to my bete noire.

ALICE: Shall we say 10 o'clock tomorrow morning, then?

HARRY: Sorry about that.

Now, where were we?

ALICE: It's a bit grim at the moment.

It used to be my great-aunt Joyce's place.

It's been empty since she died.

Come on, I'll show you inside.

So wonderful of darling Uncle J to give it to me.

Have it done up, furnished as a wedding present.

Come on.

It'll all be ready and waiting for us when we get back from the honeymoon.

Isn't it magnificent?

This will be your study, or library, if you're feeling grand.

Anyway, somewhere for you to write, keep your precious first editions.

It's a far cry from those stucco-fronted bungalows they give married masters at Pudsey, that's for sure.

Talk about damning with faint praise!

I'm sorry.

It's going to be wonderful.

Like you.

None of that till you've been approved by Uncle J. JUSTIN: Alice tell you she and her brother were orphaned?

ANDREW: And that, uh, you brought them up from the time she was a baby.

JUSTIN: Mm.

No option.

A head of the family.

Did all right by Hugo, by and large.

Pity he chose to marry a barmaid.

Sherry?

Oh, thank you, sir.

JUSTIN: Being a bachelor, bringing up a girl is a different kettle of fish all together.

Looking back, I dare say I was too strict.

Overprotective, you see.

Anyway, she ran off with this aging hippie who used her money to set himself up as a guru in Goa.

At least, thank god, the swine didn't marry her.

Not to your liking?

Oh, it's OK.

I prefer sweet sherry.

Why didn't you say?

You didn't ask.

Hmm.

To cut a long story short, he took up knocking her about.

On account, it appeared she was infertile.

Mind you, still no question of him entering into such a bourgeois institution as marriage.

She took as much as she could stand till she got ill, whereupon he threw her out.

Burst appendix, peritonitis.

By the time she got into a halfway decent hospital, near as damn it died.

I was minded to say told you so until I saw what a state she was in when she came limping home.

Bel has told me the whole story.

Bel?

Short for Christabel, her second-- Damn it, I know what my niece's names are.

Nobody calls her that.

I know.

JUSTIN: The point is, I don't want some other young swine breaking her heart.

I don't intend to.

She can't give you children.

ANDREW: We've talked about that.

JUSTIN: You do know her capital is tied up in trust?

I didn't.

But I'm glad to hear it.

How's that?

Perhaps, in that case, we can make a life of our own, without being insulted and patronized by an old swine like you.

You'll do.

Let's cut along, get some grub, put the poor girl out of her misery.

We'll have to find a niche for you at the works, I suppose.

I dare say they don't pay you more than the pittance at do the boys' hall.

Well?

Oh, you always did pay for dressing, miss.

She said that the first time she put me into my party frock.

But in those days, you used to call me Alice.

And when you come back from church, I shall call you Madam, which is how I've lasted so long with Mr. Justin, him being a stickler for etiquette.

That's quite right.

Now, you, sit down, and let's see what we can do about your coronary.

Your flowers!

A coronet, Nesta.

Well, have it your way.

You know me and words.

You gave me quite a turn there, Mrs. Drage.

Goodness, is that the time?

Now, unless you need me anymore-- That's all right, Mrs. Johnson.

We'll be fine.

I'm so glad you've come round to the dress, Mrs. Johnson.

Well, to tell you the truth, I still have my doubts about the wisdom of getting married in white at your age.

Still, I dare say the veil will help.

Oh, well, things to do.

She doesn't mean it.

Don't you believe it.

I've had far too many put-downs from the old cow to have been accidental.

That's because she thinks you've got designs on Uncle J.

She's right.

Nesta!

Oh, no, not really.

No, but now we have got you off the shelf, I'm going to have to start looking after number one, that's for sure.

Do you remember when I got back from India?

Oh, yeah.

You were pretty dreary.

I thought my life was over.

I honestly think it would have been, if it hadn't has been for you.

- Oh, balls.

It's true, I mean it.

You're a widow.

You had no money.

It was good for me being with someone worse-off than myself.

You were so brave and funny.

I don't think Andrew would have looked at me twice if you hadn't taught me the Fred Astaire philosophy of life.

BOTH: (SINGING) Pick yourself up Dust yourself down Start all over again Yeah, where did it get me?

A special place in my heart.

You'll see.

I'm going to be fixing your coronary-- --just before you go down the aisle on the arm of the man you love.

♪ ♪ Just go up to the church and get in the porch.

Go on.

You look very fine, my dear.

You don't look too bad either.

Here we go, boys.

Mind your step.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ You know you'll always have the key to my heart, but I thought you might like another one.

ALL: Surprise!

We can't take it on honeymoon, but we can get to the airport.

Yeah.

Have a good time.

Get out of here.

Let's get in there and, uh, console each other while the champagne lasts.

Nesta, you're forgetting you and I have a doctor-patient relationship.

Oh, who cares?

Yeah, what the hell?

Oh!

ALICE: Everything all right, Pernille?

PERNILLE: I hope so.

ALICE: It smells wonderful.

We shall soon see when I bring them in.

ALICE: They look great.

♪ Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

She well knew the great architectural secret of decorating a construction, and never descended to construct a decoration.

You horrible man!

I could learn to hate Trollope.

How's Pernille working out?

She's fine.

She's missing her family.

No time for that if you're an au pair.

You don't be awful.

Where have you been, anyway?

Upstaging your uncle.

I wanted, on your first visit to my house, sir, to be able to offer you a choice of sherries.

You prefer dry, I believe?

Ah, you impudent swine.

I'll have you know he'd not been in the job five minutes before he was giving me lip at work.

Well, it's the only way we family placemen can demonstrate our independence.

It doesn't stop the works manager calling me "young Mr.

Whitaker."

Oh, so what does that make you, darling?

I'd rather not know.

Oh, that's new.

My housewarming present.

From his adoring wife.

ANDREW: It might have been made to fit my Trollope first editions.

Regency, hmm.

Must have set you back a bit.

I can't say I share your admiration for the fellow's books, but this is beautiful.

Keep on like this, you'll spoil the brute.

HUGO: No, she won't.

The novelty soon wears off.

Oh, I hate you.

You see what I mean?

A few sleepless nights up with a baby, and then-- Should we all go into the dining room before the novelty of eating wears off?

I don't believe that.

You are the bloody limit.

I'm sorry.

Piroshki.

They've turned out well, see?

You sound so surprised, Pernille.

Lovely.

Hand them round.

Mm.

No, thank you.

Oh, delicious.

Yeah.

What did you say they were called again?

Piroshki.

Polish delicacy.

I could easily become addicted.

You must give Mrs. Johnson the recipe.

I will, but not now.

Now I'm putting the dinner on the table.

If you were older-- --or I were younger.

So there it is.

ANDREW: What's wrong?

Uncle J likes to say grace at family gatherings.

JUSTIN: Not that I'm a God-botherer, heaven forbid.

Granny was, though.

JACKIE: It's just family ritual, really.

I'm sorry.

Nobody told me.

- No matter.

One can't expect teachers to care about the social graces in this classless society of ours.

For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful.

ALL: Amen.

JUSTIN: Right.

Oh, I'm looking forward to this.

I'm really quite hungry now, are you?

Yes, very.

Lovely.

Good.

Mm.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

JUSTIN: I know!

Yeah, sorry, wrong number.

Wrong number.

Oh, god.

This is quite like old times, isn't it?

JACKIE: Mm, but with one notable exception.

What?

You know.

HUGO: Oh, absolutely, yes.

Hear, hear.

Andrew.

Andrew.

Andrew.

Oh, thank you, Jackie.

Thank you.

You know, Nesta was supposed to be with us this evening, wasn't she, darling?

Yes, but she cried off at the last moment.

Oh, dear.

That could be our fault.

She's babysitting for us.

Really?

I didn't know you and Nesta were close.

Well, we're not.

It's just last time I bumped into her, well, she volunteered.

Well, she said she could do with the money.

She told me the shop had gone into profit.

JUSTIN: While you were gallivanting around the West Indies, the recession continued to bite.

One has done what one can, but I'm afraid poor Nesta's become a victim.

Well, that's dreadful.

I must go and see her.

I'll go tomorrow.

I'm sure I could do something.

You'll only be throwing good money after bad.

What do I do with my money is my business.

One begins to wonder what isn't.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

What in heaven's name is all this?

Oh, god.

The stupid bitch.

Have a good mind not to pay her.

JACKIE: Oh, have a heart.

She's under the weather and obviously not well.

You run her home and I'll get the brats to bed.

Mark.

Mark.

I'm sorry about that.

Not enough.

I mean, it won't happen again.

No, it won't.

However.

No, no.

See me inside.

I'm afraid of the dark.

HUGO: There you are.

You'll be fine now.

No.

See me safely upstairs.

What?

Nesta!

No.

Don't go.

Please, I've been so unhappy and lonely and frightened.

No, please.

Don't leave me.

Jack-- Jackie need never know.

Nesta, get off.

Oh, god.

♪ I wouldn't worry about it, if I were you.

He weren't in there long enough to do what you'd do given half the chance.

I should wash your mouth out with soap and water.

It's true what they say, isn't it?

There is no fool like an old fool.

Steady, steady.

Oh, for pity's sake.

Gosh!

Look, Ma, they're going to dig up the graveyard.

Yes, it's to make way for the new slip road.

What will they do with the bodies?

Dig them up and move them, I don't know.

Ugh!

Don't worry, you'll be tucked up safely in bed.

Yes, and the disturbed ghosts will come and haunt you.

Yes, and you'll be haunted by the back of my hand.

Hey, Nesta, do us a favor, would you?

Crikey!

What the bloody hell happened to you?

How the hell did you get in here?

Well, you gave me a set of keys, remember?

That was so you could let the security company in if I was out and the alarm went off, not so you could walk in and out of here spying on me.

All right, keep your hair on.

Oh, crikey, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it like that.

It just came out.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean-- I don't know why I'm laughing, I'm sure.

Oh, look at the state of you.

This could be the finish of me.

Well, you lend us one of your little black numbers and I won't say a word, all right?

Done.

Good.

I'm serious, though.

What is it, then?

Like alopecia or something?

Oh, no, it's nothing like that.

Something a bit up with my metabolism, that's all.

I will soon get it sorted.

In the mind, mostly.

And having to watch that graveyard being dug up's the last bloody straw.

Can I trust you?

Yeah, of course you can.

I'm involved with a big man in Sulsted.

Go on.

In your dreams.

I mean big, and some people are going to get a shock when it comes out.

One of these days, he is going to have to marry me, and I don't want a thing like this giving him an excuse to get rid of me.

You mean it, don't you?

And there was me thinking all this black was in memory of your poor dead husband.

Don't be daft.

No, when he popped his clogs, I realized at the funeral what black did for me.

You're kidding.

Do us a favor.

What, see who it is?

Yeah.

If it's a customer, keep him talking until I fix myself up.

Yeah, all right.

Oh, Nesta, it's Ms. Whittaker.

Mrs.

Fielding, I should say.

I'll be right down, Alice.

Don't let me keep you, Daphne.

No, Mrs.

Fielding.

Thank you, Mrs.

Fielding.

Pardon me for living, Mrs.

Fielding.

Well, this is a surprise.

Hello, Alice.

Long time, no see.

Well, we haven't got a lot in today, but we ought to be able to find enough to make you up a nice cortege.

Corsage.

NESTA: Yeah, well, whichever.

You know me.

Now, don't you look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed?

But then why wouldn't you?

Is everything all right, Nesta?

This-- this place is a shambles.

You look a bit of a wreck.

Well, thank you.

Where were you when things started to go wrong, huh?

You were sunning yourself with your toy boy.

And then when you got back, did you come and find out how I was?

No, did you?

Well, you were too busy swanning about, hiring au pairs, playing house, and making a fool of yourself, showering your precious Andrew with gifts while my life was falling apart.

And now, when it suits, you come in here.

Oh, it's-- it's not fair.

No, I-- I'm your friend.

Yeah, some friend.

You're right.

I've been very selfish.

But now I know.

Look, we've helped each other through worse than this.

We can do it again.

No.

No, not this time, Lady Bountiful.

This time, I'm down and out.

One way or another, I have had Sulsted up to here.

- Come on, Nesta.

- No.

There is only one way for it, and that's to get away and try and sort myself out somewhere else altogether completely.

Well, I can help you to do that.

You're incurable.

I'm incorrigible as well.

Yeah, whichever.

♪ Sorry.

No.

It's like shoe leather.

Cheesy shoe leather.

Thank you.

No, it's not that.

I don't know.

I'd better go.

I can't stop here, boring you two to death.

Stay the night, why don't you?

Oh, I don't know.

I've arranged to-- well, I've got to pack up the stuff at the flat that's going into store.

Andrew can take you and bring you back.

No, I've arranged to stop the night with the Feasts.

Give them a ring.

No, too complicated.

I've arranged to have a car pick me up from there, and I don't feel up to changing all my arrangements now.

Keep in touch.

Let us have an address as soon as you're settled.

Thanks for everything.

♪ ♪ NESTA: It looks as though this is about as close as I can get you.

You-- you can't leave me to walk past all that.

I suppose not.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ I thought you'd eloped.

First I had to see her in, then she took forever choosing this monstrosity.

Your farewell present.

ALICE: Poor darling.

She probably wanted company.

Tonight's the night they begin emptying the old graves.

Nesta had such a thing about it.

The uncontrolled imagination of the ill-educated.

Unkind.

I'm sure you weren't too keen on stopping in full view of people unearthing corpses.

And you are made of less frail clay.

What do I have to do to prove to you that we've got better things to do than keep on and on about Nesta?

More of the same.

HUGO: Jackie, can you help?

JACKIE: If you had an ounce of chivalry-- but what's the bloody point?

Love to Nesta and all that.

I do hope she isn't in one of her moods.

Yeah.

We'll pick you up here about 5:00, all right?

Thank you.

See you later.

See you later.

If you've come over to see Alice, you're out of luck.

She's gone over to Orphingham to look up Nesta Drage.

Oh.

Actually, I came to see Ms. Madsen.

Pernille?

You sly dog.

You'd better come in, then.

Alice sent her to see me last week about her homesickness.

I prescribed a short course of, um-- as I was passing, I thought I might pop in and, you know, see how she was getting along.

What?

Hello, is Mrs. Drage here?

Who?

ALICE: Mrs. Drage.

Nesta Drage.

OLD MAN: I'm the only one here, lady.

I've been on my own since the wife left.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

I thought perhaps she might rent a room.

I don't let no rooms!

You can't be too careful these days.

♪ ♪ Hello.

I wonder if you can help me.

I'm looking for Mrs. Drage.

Oh, look, there she is now.

That's Mrs. Drake.

Mrs. Drake?

No, I said Mrs. Drage.

Well, I'm sorry, I'm sure.

You try to help someone, and what do you get?

Sorry I'm late, Mr. Feast.

Well, better late than never.

Alice, it's been far too long.

Hello, Harry.

I can't tell you how good it is to see you.

Would you like something to eat?

Oh, yes.

Well, what's the score?

How much is one supposed to give?

Oh, well, whatever you like.

Um, as a rough guide, whatever your normal lunch at home would cost you.

I've got no idea.

No?

I'm sure your generosity will be a reproach to us all.

All right, Mrs.

Fielding?

Oh, hello, Daphne.

You're just the person I wanted to see.

Yeah, I know.

I was just talking to your sister-in-law.

Oh, is she here?

Yeah, she's over there.

There she is.

Oh, darling, I'll catch you later.

I wanted to ask you about Nesta.

I thought you might know where she is, you two being such close friends.

Well, not that close.

We used to have a bit of a giggle, that's all.

We were-- oh, what do you call it?

Ships that pass in the night.

Thank you.

Yes, that sounds like Nesta.

She didn't even say a proper goodbye.

Not that I'm breaking my heart over it.

ALICE: But didn't you see her the night before she left?

She came to supper with us.

Andrew took her back to the shop.

She said she was going on to spend the night with you.

Was is right.

She never showed up.

What?

Did you go out to look for her?

Do you mind?

I weren't going down Ellicott Lane after dark.

Not with them carting all them corpses about.

No.

No, of course not.

What a mystery.

I wouldn't do too much of this if I were you.

You look as if you need to take care of yourself.

I'm fine.

Good.

But if there's ever anything troubling you, anything at all, you'll come to me, won't you?

Look, you said it was a mystery, right?

Well, I'll tell you something.

Mysteries ain't news to me, not where Nesta's concerned.

For one thing, she was involved with some bloke, you know.

What bloke?

Well, I don't know.

Big man in Sulsted, she said.

I don't know who he was.

She wouldn't tell me.

For some reason, he didn't want it known.

I reckon it's because he was married.

Mind you, Nesta said he'd have to marry her one day.

She never said anything.

Oh, and another thing-- her eyebrows.

Her eyebrows?

What about them?

Well, she didn't have none.

You think I'm daft, don't you?

Well, one day I popped into her flat.

She didn't know I was coming, and god, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

She was sitting there doing her makeup, and she had no eyebrows at all.

Just eyes she had, and then nothing till the hair started.

Gave me the creeps, I can tell you.

Poor Nesta.

Thanks, Daphne.

Mm.

Oh, if you do root her out, you might tell her to come and collect her stuff.

Her stuff?

Yeah, she had Snows fetch around some of her stuff, day before she left.

You can tell her I'm sick of it cluttering the place up.

I will.

Quite a turnout, Mr. Feast.

Yeah, the upper crust and the workers, you'll notice, Mrs.

Fielding.

Ah, thank you very much.

The bourgeoisie keep their feet under their own fat tables.

Hello, boys.

How was lunch?

Worse than school dinners.

I'm partial to cheese, personally.

- Do you want a lift?

- No, thanks.

I've got the car.

I'm going back to Orphingham now.

- I'll come with you!

- Me too!

Oh, no you won't.

You've got to go to the dentist with me.

Oh, do we have to?

I'll tell you what-- if you're very good at the dentist, I'll get you some sweets.

How about that?

- OK!

- Yeah!

It's a vicious circle.

Fill the holes in their beastly little teeth and let them rot all over again.

Excuse me, are you the regular postman?

Well, it depends what you mean by regular.

I've be doing this round a couple of months.

Have you ever delivered a letter to Mrs. Drage?

Nesta Drage of Soulsby?

Well, not what you might call delivered.

There's a redirection notice on Soulsby.

You know, like what you do when you move, see?

Oh.

Could you tell me where her letters are going to?

Oh, no, I can't do that, I'm afraid.

Invasion of privacy.

Well, I think you'd better.

Soulsby doesn't exist.

Now, look, it's on the notice.

I've seen it, plain as a pikestaff.

Where?

Could you show me?

Up there.

That's Sowerby.

But I've never had no letters for Sowerby.

No, I'm not surprised.

It's a very old man lives at Sowerby.

I shouldn't think he's had a letter for years.

And as you've only been doing the rounds for two months-- Mr. Robson said I was to check, but I don't know, somehow I just never got round to it.

He'll have the hide off me.

Look, I don't want to get you into trouble, but I must know where those letters are going to.

That's easy.

193 Dorcas Street, Brighton.

I got it off by heart, on account of my mother's name being Dorcas.

Look, you won't tell anyone, will you?

Don't worry.

I don't want you to go, darling.

Why?

It'll only upset you if you find out she's shacked up with some down-and-out.

Who, Nesta?

What would you do if you found her nursing a black eye?

With, I don't know, some thug bellowing abuse at you?

Whip out your checkbook, I suppose.

Money, the universal healer.

I make a god of money, do I?

I didn't say that.

Not a god.

More a key to open all doors.

Oh, that reminds me.

Jackie brought Mark and Christopher around.

Oh, god.

It was fine.

I gave them some sweets I found in a drawer.

Mark didn't want to go.

Do you know what he said?

He said, let's stay, Mummy.

I'll give you 10 p if you let me stay.

And I'm like that?

Yes and no.

What-- what are you doing to your hair?

Nothing.

Andrew, what's the matter?

I don't want you to get rolled over by Nesta again.

I don't need a bodyguard.

There are other kinds of vulnerability!

Like what?

Oh, have it your own way.

You usually do.

Where are you going?

Andrew!

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪