You were okay doing your own make-up today?

Yes.

Because I know you like me to do your make-up for you.

I wanted you to shade my-- shade me, but-- How did you survive without me?

It was hard.

I feel like I do-- I'm my mom's personal make-up artist.

She does my make-up all the time.

Every time she goes out, "Can you do my make-up?

Can you do my eyebrows before I go?"

I used to love doing my make-up and having a full face, but nowadays, I don't know why, I just-- I'm the opposite now.

I just like to do minimal make-up.

-Because you don't need a lot of make-up.

That's true.

Wow.

Not to play favorites, but Brittny was the cutest.

Oh, my God.

You can't say that.

Yes, I can.

She kept pushing the issue of wanting to come visit me.

One day I was like, "I just have to tell her because I don't know how much longer I can keep up with this lie and I don't really want to anymore."

[music] My journey with pole dancing actually started backwards in the normal journey.

I actually started in the club where pole dancing originates from.

I didn't really know how to work the pole that well at the time.

I would just do simple spins, I'd do a lot of floor work, and that's how I made my money.

I realized, "This is way harder than I ever thought it was," and I didn't even know where to begin.

I was like, "I can't even climb this pole, it's so fucking hard."

I would watch a lot of my co-workers who were just so good on the pole, and I'd be like, "Oh my god, they're so mesmerizing."

Working as a sex worker, it was emotionally draining, but it was also weirdly empowering in some ways.

I know a lot of people don't really understand that.

I felt a little bit more in control over my autonomy in some ways than I did when I was working as a server in a restaurant.

It helped me to really-- it helped me with my independence just to be on my own.

Why would you ask Josette to do it for her birthday?

What do you [?]?

No.

They're both trying to communicate to me.

I think I just thought, "Oh, dance is just a hobby, I can't really do anything with it."

I remember thinking that, and so that's why I didn't pursue it when I was dancing, so much that it's really hard to leave the industry, and it's really hard to go back to a regular job because you wonder like, "Why am I doing this bullshit work for pennies?"

However, there's always like two sides of the coin to any job.

There was times where I did feel like I was losing confidence.

That's when you start to feel that feeling of the not empowering moments, which can feel-- I guess it could feel exploitative in a way.

Stripping is pretty much a customer service.

You're providing a type of service to customers.

They already have their ideas of who you are and what you are, and they treat you as such, and they treat you like you don't deserve respect because you're there working.

They have no idea who you are and like how intelligent you possibly can be.

I was going to major in fine arts.

I was literally one class away from transferring and then I couldn't pass my math class.

I was like, "Fuck it, I'm not going to finish."

[laughs] This is when we took you to Spice Girls.

This is right before we took you to see Spice Girls.

Oh, it was?

Yes, we went in a limo.

-Oh, my gosh.

-It was so fun.

I didn't know that was the same day as the Spice Girls.

No, it was like literally the weekend before.

Oh, and Bryce started crying at the Spice Girls concert.

[laughs] That was the Spice Girls concert, I think.

Yes, this was the Spice Girls concert, except you didn't get a picture of me.

I love, love live music.

That's my favorite thing and I love jazz.

I love jazz too, because that's what I grew up with.

My dad was a jazz fanatic.

Grandpa Joe would listen to jazz from the morning he got up to the minute he went to bed.

Pretty much most of the music that you like, I like, except for I don't like country the way you like country.

I just can't.

-Oh, yes, I love country too.

I can't do it.

My mom put me in ballet when I was really little.

I would cry when she would leave me because I had abandonment issues and she would leave, like, "No, don't leave me," so she just stopped putting me in it.

Then she would put me back in it when I was eight or nine.

I've always loved anything to do with dance, ballet.

I love ballet.

I wish I would have taken more dance classes when I was younger.

I didn't choose this career because I was desperate.

I chose it because it was an option and it's something that I am okay with doing, whereas other people won't do it because they have those views and they don't want to be judged by society.

There're so many people who do it and maybe aren't strippers.

You can have your view about strippers.

That's fine.

However, I don't agree with poll dancers that think that they're better than strippers, because for one, how can you be better than them when the art that you're doing is what's created by them?

Just give respect and give credit where credit is due because we're your mothers, baby.

We are your mothers.

[music] Some of the risks that come with working in the industry are, the obvious ones, like your safety.

I did always feel some type of way leaving work like, "Am I going to be safe today walking to my car?"

I would have to look around.

I would sometimes walk out with another worker or I would ask security to keep a lookout for me, especially people, when you knew that they would come regularly to see you and they were already pushing boundaries and you felt like they were really adamant about wanting to see you outside of the club.

Those parts can be very scary.

My mom's relationship is that at the time when she found out, we were a little bit estranged from each other.

I wasn't feeling as close to her.

I was like backing off.

We weren't talking as much.

I was 26.

I told her, I was like, "Mom, I have to tell you the truth.

This is what I'm doing.

I didn't tell you because I knew that you probably wouldn't approve.

It's just temporary."

I was trying to, soften the blow, as much as I could and her reaction wasn't positive.

She just wasn't happy.

She's like, "What if you found out your little sister was going to do this or whatever?"

When she said that, of course, it makes you think, puts it into different perspective.

I'm going to be honest, I was, I wouldn't say upset.

I was more worried.

But you were, though.

Let's face it, what kind of men go in there?

Not all of them are going to be weirdos.

I know that, but I would say half of them are and I didn't want her to be around those type of men.

Maybe they'd follow her home or-- But then after a while, she was already older, 30, and I'm like, "Well, she's a big girl.

I hope that she can continue dancing there, but make the right choices, don't go and befriend somebody that's going to be harmful.

I knew she was probably going to do pole dancing for the experience.

I mainly wanted to make money.

I didn't want anything else from it.

I just saw it as an option.

I was like, "Oh, I could make some money here."

Knowing her, I knew that it was probably something she wasn't going to do for long.

I said she's probably just going to do it, like you said, for the experience, the money, fun.

Let's face it, she was young and gorgeous and it was probably a lot of fun.

I had to just let her do her thing, let her find her way.

I think she was more worried about what I would say as far as, I guess, you could say she didn't want to disappoint me so she kept things from me.

She's always been-- I think we've been very, very close.

Without crying, I think we've been really close.

Okay, Mom.

It's been rough.

I'm just glad that your views have changed.

Yes, and it's just good to know that you don't judge me for that decision anymore.

You don't judge any dancers anymore.

No, I don't.

No.

-I think I'm just glad to hear that.

Yes, that's all.

I think it's great the way God makes us go through different eras in our life.

-To lead us somewhere?

-Yes.

I just feel like there comes a day when you're in your late 40s where you're just like, "You know what?

You just got to let your children do what they want to do.

As long as they're happy, that's what matters most.

Let your family, let your children do what they're meant to be."

I'm glad that I'm able to sit here and just say that now, "You know what?

I want to accept my kids, whatever journey and career they choose."

Yes.

I always had in mind of her being a dance teacher.

I really do.

Being a dance teacher of many different types of dance.

Really?

I didn't know that.

She likes children, so I thought maybe one day she'll work with children.

-That's funny.

I didn't know you thought that, because that's where I'm at now.

I'm basically a dance teacher.

I always thought that in the back of my mind, but once again, I wanted it to come from her, what she wanted to do.

Find it myself, find out my career.

Find it herself, yes, and not have to-- I guess I didn't want to force it, whatever comes naturally to her, because that's the kind of child she's always been.

She likes to row her own boat, so I wanted it to come from her.

I've never heard that before.

I wanted it to come from her.

Something I wish more people understood about stripping is that it's still a job, and it's just an option.

It's not something that defines you, and it shouldn't be something that demonizes anyone, because at the end of the day, our bodies are just bodies, and why are we demonizing our bodies?

I wish people would just realize it's just a job and we just happen to be okay with being a little sexy to do it.

[music]