- There are laws to this day of killing certain type of animals.

You go to jail for killing, what, an eagle or you kill a deer or something out of season.

And here, we're always in season.

That's gotta stop.

- [Bystander 1] He's not even resisting arrest, bro.

- [Bystander 2] He's holding on to him.

(indistinct chatter) How long y'all gonna hold him down?

- [Cop] This is why you don't do drugs kids.

- [Bystander 2] It aint about drugs, bro.

You're stopping his breathing right there.

Keep talking, but you can get him off the ground.

He's not resisting arrest or nothing.

You're enjoying this, look at you.

You're body language is crazy.

You know it's wrong but you can't even look at me like a man.

What's your badge number?

You think that's cool right now, bro.

- [Bystander 3] Can you call the police on another police?

- [Bystander 1] It aint about drugs, bro.

(indistinct chatter) He is human, bro.

(indistinct) But you can put him in the car.

- [Bystander 3] He can not breathe.

Get over here, no, first of all- - To see an individual lying on the ground, totally helpless with at least three individuals propped up on him, one of them with a knee against his neck and unable to move, hardly to even voice any words, and then reiterating not only "I cannot breathe", but calling for his mother.

As a parent, the anguish, the distress, the helplessness and possibly looking at that being my child or my brother my nephew, my uncle, my friend, it just, it cannot be in the United States.

The country that other individuals throughout this globe are desiring to get here because it's the land of the free.

And to see this happening is just, in 2020, unbelievable.

I mean, we believe that we've come so far.

- My heart still go out to that family and it's still go out when I hear him in my mind still saying "mama" because I am a mother of a black son.

- It's funny to me how people of color or minorities always seem like we're more harmful, that we're going to be more harming to a person.

I think that's what happens when you dehumanize somebody, when you see us as an animal.

Maybe you expect the worst.

- I don't know, I cried.

I cried for a very long time.

Sorry am I too..

I don't know, it reminded me of my dad and not that my dad has experienced anything like that but to see a man of that stature that looks and resembles something of my father was a very hard thing to have to witness.

- What did you experience physically or... - Chills.

And that's the one thing I remember is this just overwhelming feeling of just broken.

And I don't know why that one was so much more damaging than the rest of them, but I guess it was more of an eye-opener because then you look back on the rest of them and you see the videos of all of these people that are resurfacing from two, three, four years ago.

And they hurt just as much as that one did.

It was just like this.

I don't know, this truth bomb had been dropped and it was a very hard thing to deal with.

- I don't know exactly how it happened but that's not the policeman's job to be judge, jury or an executioner.

That's not what our tax dollars go to.

- And people around were like "Please get off of him".

They were begging for this man's life.

He was begging for his life but the life of the black man has been reduced to this.

I was just moved to a point of emotion so much that I felt like I knew that I had to do something but I had no idea what to do.

- Oh my God, I couldn't sleep for days.

I said, any officer who watched this and see that there's not anything wrong with it shouldn't even be in this field of work.

We literally witnessed a man get murdered on the streets.

And all I could do or think about, I was confused.

Because being an African American woman, have black kids, boys, being in law enforcement I know what's right.

Our job is to ensure that whoever we have in our custody that their safety is primary.

We're not supposed to be out there murdering people on the street.

- He was on the ground, he was on the ground.

He was subdued.

He was helpless and they just kept him in the dust until he suffocated.

The way he died was cruel, inhumane, I could think of a few other adjectives.

But they treated him like he was nothing.

And they kept him on that pavement.

I guess I could say, the pavement instead of the dust.

But it was like the dust.

Back during the days of slavery, back during the days of the civil rights movement, they did the same thing.

They kept us in the dust.

- You know, I was seething with anger.

Anger that this was allowed to occur with onlookers, civilians, law enforcement.

Angry that these crimes have been perpetuated against African Americans time and time again and regardless of what video has been displayed to prove on an evidentiary basis that these heinous acts of police brutality exist in 21st century.

I felt like nothing was going to come of it.

And honestly, personally, still feel like there's going to be very little to nothing that comes with it.

And it's sad because I love America.

This is my home.

This is my nation, I'm proud to be in America.

I mean I wear my flag lapel pin with honor.

I know what this country has done, I know what it has the potential to do.

And it's just so disconcerting to see that we're still far away from where we ought to be.

- We have that mission and we're not going to stop until we see change now.

Enough is enough.

You have to see me, you have to look me in my eyes, realize it, understand who I am and just take worth in me being here.

- If you're an American, if you love your country you have to talk about it.

You have to get that understanding.

I think by avoiding the questions and avoiding the topic that's why we're here today.

Looking like 1960, than 2020 because we've avoided the conversation on both sides, black and white.

We avoided the hard conversation.

- [George Floyd] I can't breathe.

Please the knee in my stomach hurts.

My neck hurts.

Everything hurts (groans).

Need some water or something, please, please.

(somber music) - [Narrator] A season of protest in 2020, turned up the volume on the nation's dialogue about race and racism.

It's a talk we've begun and dropped for decades.

- [Narrator 2] If you're an American, if you love your country you have to talk about it.

(somber music) - [Narrator] It's time.

The conversation starts with listening.

When you've got a big problem to solve, sometimes it helps to start small.

Even the slightest changes can make incredible shifts in our understanding.

Last year, media organizations started printing the word Black with a capital B when it is used in the context of race and culture.

It's simple, the uppercase word "Black" does more heavy lifting.

PBS, The Associated Press, The New York Times, many organizations decided that capitalizing the word best conveys the shared struggles and experiences of people, not only of African heritage, but from other parts of the world.

After all, using the word African American is not always accurate.

Now the word "Black" in reference to race reads like Latin X or Native American, which are capitalized.

Merriam-Webster also edited its definition of racism to include systemic oppression.

The definition of racism now reads, one, "A belief that race is a fundamental determinant of human traits and capacities, and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race".

2A, "The systemic oppression of a racial group, to the social economic and political advantage of another".

2B, "A political or social system founded on racism and designed to execute its principles".

- Racism is not liking someone because they have different attributes from you.

But I think it combines power.

There's a sense of power that goes with racism.

People want to feel like they can exert power over certain people.

- When I was dating my wife, she's from Wheeler, Texas.

And one day we had went out to her grandfather's land and we were riding four wheelers.

We went down to the creek and her father wanted to show me something so I was like okay, I followed him.

And we came up on a guy and he has a rifle.

And I said, I'm sorry, we didn't know you were back here.

We're getting out your way.

And as soon as I said that to him, he looks at me and he begins to raise the rifle.

And when he begins to raise a rifle, I look at him and I'm like, is this guy really doing this?

And I hit the gas on my four wheeler and I get out of there.

As soon as I hit the gas, pow.

It hit the back wheel instead of hitting my leg.

And I got to the top and reality just hit me, I was almost shot and killed.

- [Interviewer] Because?

- Because of being a black American in the country and having somebody who I guess didn't believe I belonged there.

- What does racism look like to you?

- Oh my goodness.

I can feel it if I would let myself, but I know better because I know that that racism, it doesn't bother me because I know I'm the same as they are, just a different color.

And I'm proud of my color.

Let me put that in because that's very important to me.

I wouldn't change it for nothing in the world.

But that racism is something that you can feel when you know that somebody don't want you where they are.

- It was the summer of '62.

No, it's '61.

My sister Carol was sick and my father was in air force Two so we lived there in Fort Worth so we had to take the bus from Stop Six and go all the way across town, I'm talking about Eagle mountain Lake to cross through an Air Force base to get my sister to see a doctor.

And you have to change bus three times.

My sister was running a temperature and there was this juke joint or a cafe there on the corner.

My mother ran around to the back door.

The guy, I don't know if he was the owner or a cook or whatever, come to the door and "What do you want?"

And she said, "Sir can I have a glass of water?

My daughter's sick and I need to give her some water to take her medicine".

And he said "we don't serve y'all here".

And she said, "I'm not asking to be served sir, I just need a glass of water to give my daughter so she can take her medicine".

"I can't do that, I told you we don't save y'all, so you need to go on about your business."

She said, "Sir, I'll pay for the glass.

I'll even pay for the water.

I just have to give her her medication".

And he cursed her out "If you don't get away from here I'm going to call the police".

So my mother stepped down and the only other place we could get a drink of water for my sister was in the colored section of the Greyhound bus station.

So we had to walk about five blocks to get my sister a glass of water.

Well, to drink out of the colored water fountain and the colored side of the color section at the Greyhound bus station.

And then we had to walk back to the bus stop and the bus had come and left and we had to wait another hour before we can get on the bus to go home.

- My sister and I were walking through a Walmart on Tascosa road.

We were walking through the parking lot and there was a man who was outside and he saw us and he just started screaming the N word.

And he started screaming about how much he hated us.

And he screamed that he was going to kill us.

And I think it was probably one of the most terrifying moments of my life.

And we just didn't understand because we hadn't done anything, we didn't know this man.

We were both just walking through the parking lot.

- I think there are two kinds of racism.

I mean, there's the blatant in your face calling you names and, you know what I mean?

And then there's the ones that just want to act like you don't exist or that you're not on the same level.

And I think that one hurts the most.

It's fine if you want to call me names or things like that, say ugly things.

But to treat me like I didn't go to school or that I haven't worked somewhere 17 years, that's the difficult part because I know how hard I work.

- Yes, there has been times that there has been very direct racism towards me, but I try not to... That can be an abstract kind of feeling or thinking so sometimes it's not something I can concretely say, yes you're being racist against me.

It can be as subtle is a look or just a no, or just the phrasing of things that I think in some instances wouldn't be that way if it were not for the color of my skin.

So with that, it can be very abstract.

It's a very different kind of feeling.

It's kind of like, oh, but you get it when it happens, if that makes sense.

- It could be something as simple as a waiter or waitress in a restaurant being really communicative and talkative to the other patrons of that restaurant and then coming to you and just basically abrasively asking you what your order is, not having any form of communication with you at all, and not even looking at you to form that connection.

Looking past you as if you don't exist.

So I mean, racism exists in all types of forms.

- What does it feel like physically when somebody looks past you and like you don't exist?

- You feel neglected.

Obviously there's pain there.

You don't understand it.

You question yourself like, did I not dress right today?

Did I not smile enough?

You question your every movement throughout that store, that restaurant, like, did I do something that offended somebody?

You are the one that feels all of that guilt, but you shouldn't.

- The very first time I experienced it was, I would say I remember around either kindergarten or first grade.

I remember that feeling about I wasn't being accepted for some reason.

It wasn't very familiar to me.

I didn't know, as I was a child, but as I tried to speak to different young men or young girls in that age group or the same in my classrooms, I more along got the look, that feeling of you don't want to address me or you don't want to speak to me based off of what... And as it continued on, I caught an understanding of it's because I'm black.

- It does sting, okay?

It's like putting alcohol on a wound (chuckles).

It stings, it hurts, but after the end, you've got to figure out a way to make it better.

And that's where I would just take it with a grain of salt and show them that whatever assessment that you made of me was incorrect.

And you can't group everyone.

And if I'm going to have to be your example, then I'm going to have to be your example, because all you saw was the news.

And when I went over to your house a few times, all you were watching was Cops.

So in your mind, your assessment is correct.

But I'm going to continue to be the one person who makes sure your eyebrow raise a little bit and say "Well, I can't say all".

And then after a while, "Well I can't say most".

And then after a while, it goes to, "Well it's just something I saw on TV".

Okay, now we're getting somewhere.

(somber music) - [Narrator] A life-changing experience with racism directed toward his family created a lifelong fascination with human behavior in Dr. Derald Wing Sue.

Sue, an American born son of Chinese immigrants has been described as a pioneer in the psychology of racism and anti-racism.

Currently a professor of psychology at Columbia University's Teacher's College, Sue is credited with defining a vocabulary of racism.

- What we find for example was that many white individuals have difficulty talking about race issues.

That's why the title of my book "Race Talk and the conspiracy of silence", what we witness when a racial dialogue occurs, many white individuals engage in what I call rhetorical incoherence.

That is that if you ask them "How do you feel about interracial relationships?"

They will tip toe around the topic.

They will stammer, mispronounced words, and when we begin to explore what was going on, we discovered that they were fearful that whatever they said or did would make them appear racist.

So they engaged in what I call strategic color blindness, pretending that they didn't see the issue.

But what we found very interestingly was that when people of color observed their verbal interactions on this topic rather than appearing less racist, they appeared more so.

And so it's important to be able to freely talk.

You're going to commit racial blunders, but when teachers, when caretakers, when parents are stilted in their ability to communicate with their sons and daughters easily about race, they perpetuate racial bias.

We've talked to parents and they will tell us about embarrassing situations where they have a three or four year old shopping with them in the grocery store and the small child will say something, "Look at that person with the brown skin.

Does it taste like chocolate?"

And the mother will hush the child up.

And by doing that, they are saying we don't talk about differences.

There's something wrong about noticing differences.

But if the parent was able to freely talk about it, because the child is not equating those differences with deviancy or things that are wrong.

But making a naive open observation, authentic.

And the parents have to be equally free in their verbal dialogues to be able to communicate it's okay to talk about differences.

There's nothing wrong about it.

And let's talk about it.

- [Narrator] You'll see Dr. Sue again.

He will return in the series to help us understand the vocabulary of racism.

This season on The Handle, Living While Black... - I've gotten on the elevators in downtown Amarillo, in a suit and tie and the little old white ladies clutch their purse.

- [Interviewer] Do you believe the incident with your uncle was racially motivated?

- I do.

- You are only looked at as three-fifths of a human being.

- What they're asking me is, "Why can't you let it go?".

- My mom, I remember telling me you have to work twice as hard to get half the credit.

- The system wasn't created for black Americans to thrive in, ever.

- The only kids in Amarillo that are blessed are kids that live in the North Heights neighborhood.

- I was always reminded of my oppression and never taught that I could be more.

- We can't stay in the same comfortable setting and make change.

- If we don't get this thing right, America is not gonna be the same.

(somber music)