Captioning provided by KCPT Television.

>> male announcer: THIS PROGRAM HAS MADE POSSIBLE IN PART BY A GRANT FROM THE NATIONAL EDUCATIONAL TELECOMMUNICATIONS ASSOCIATION AND THE CORPORATION FOR PUBLIC BROADCASTING.

>> man singing: ♪ WELCOME ♪ ♪ TO A SHOW ♪ ♪ ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN SEE ♪ ♪ WITHOUT GOING FAR, ♪ ♪ AND A LOT OF THEM ARE FREE.

♪ ♪ IF YOU THOUGHT ♪ ♪ THERE WAS NOTHING ♪ ♪ IN THE OLD HEARTLAND, ♪ ♪ YOU OUGHT TO HIT ♪ ♪ THE BLACKTOP ♪ ♪ WITH THESE FOOLS IN A VAN.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT; ♪ ♪ THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART ♪ ♪ IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ RANDY DOES THE STEERING ♪ ♪ SO HE WON'T HURL.

♪ ♪ MIKE GOT THE MAP, ♪ ♪ SUCH A MAN OF THE WORLD.

♪ ♪ THAT'S DON WITH THE CAMERA ♪ ♪ KINDA HEAVY ON HIS SHOULDER.

♪ ♪ AND THAT GIANT BALL OF TAPE: ♪ ♪ IT'S A WORLD RECORD HOLDER.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT; ♪ ♪ THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART ♪ ♪ IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT; ♪ ♪ THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD ♪ ♪ IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD ♪ ♪ IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ >> Don: DEAR T.V.

MAILBAG.

COULD THIS BE IT?

THE DAWNING OF A NEW DAY, MY VEHICULAR VALHALLA?

>> YOU DON'T NEED THE RV, 'CAUSE WE GOT THIS.

>> Don: APPARENTLY NOT.

HI.

DON THE CAMERA GUY HERE, AND ONCE AGAIN, IT APPEARS THOSE TWO T.V.

WEASELS WITH WHOM I TRAVEL HAVE TAKEN THE CHEAP WAY OUT AT MY EXPENSE.

>> IMAGINE YOUR FEET HERE.

>> Don: I'D SAY IT'S THE PITS, BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR TO OUR FINE PIT CREW WHO, AS YOU CAN SEE, ARE DOING THEIR BEST TO ADD A LITTLE LUSTER TO THIS FAST-FADING CHRYSLER PRODUCT.

[banging] NOW, THIS IS SOMETHING TO SEE.

BUT JUST WHEN THINGS WERE STARTING TO GET GOOD-- >> HOT, HOT, HOT.

>> Don: SOMEONE ALMOST SPOILED IT BY DRIVING TOO FAST.

[tires screeching] GOOD THING RICK THE UPS DRIVER'S GOT THOSE CATLIKE REFLEXES, OR THE BIG BALL WOULD BE TOAST.

>> BACK AGAIN.

>> Don: RANDY, TOO, IS BACK IN HIS USUAL SPOT, AND YOU KNOW HE'S NEVER GOTTEN A TICKET, EXCEPT THE KIND HE GETS CONFUSED BY AT THESE LITTLE BOOTHS.

NOW, USUALLY, WE DO ESCHEW ROADS LIKE THESE.

BUT YOU GOTTA GET ON THE TURNPIKE TO GET OFF AT A TURNPIKE REST STOP-- LIKE MATFIELD GREEN, WHERE WEARY TRAVELERS CAN STILL PAY TRIBUTE TO THE GUY WHO GOT THEM TO GET ONE FOR THE GIPPER.

IT WAS IN THESE FLINT HILLS THAT KNUTE'S AIRPLANE SUDDENLY STOPPED BEING AIRBORNE.

>> Mike: YOU KNOW WHAT BOTHERS ME ABOUT THIS?

THEY'VE GOT IT HERE IN THE BUTT-END OF HARDEE'S, MAN.

KNUTE IS LOOKING AT-- LOOK WHAT HE'S LOOKING AT.

IT'S A SPECIAL MOMENT FOR THE BALL.

>> Randy: YEAH.

I THINK WE PROBABLY DON'T EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYMORE.

>> Don: NO ARGUMENT THERE.

AND AT LEAST NOW, WE CAN HIT THOSE BACK ROADS AGAIN, IF ONLY BRIEFLY.

LOOKS LIKE EL DO-RAY-DO-- AND THAT IS HOW THEY SAY IT-- BOASTS A KIND OF STATUARY MIKE NEVER FAILS TO GET GIDDY ABOUT.

>> Mike: LOOK, IT'S OUR LADY OF LIBERTY.

>> Randy: SHE'S IN GOOD SHAPE.

>> Mike: SHE IS.

AND SHE'S KIND OF LIKE OUR LADY OF HOUSE OF LIGHTING-- AL'S MEDITERRANEAN HOUSE OF LIGHTING.

>> Don: SHE MIGHT BE LIGHTING A WAY TO OUR DAY'S DESTINATION, WHICH WOULD BE WICHITA, THOUGH WE PREFER TO THINK OF IT AS GINOVILLE, IN HONOR OF THE MAN WHO'S TAKEN SO MANY DEAD, DYING, AND DAMAGED TREES AND SAWED THEM INTO GENUINE WORKS OF PUBLIC ART.

[banjo music] ♪ ♪ >> man: HEY, GEEZ.

THREE HOSERS, EH?

>> Don: GINO SALERNO CAME HERE FROM PERU, TAUGHT HIGH SCHOOL BIOLOGY FOR A WHILE, AND NOW WORKS IN THE HEALTH CARE FIELD.

BUT CLEARLY, IT'S HIS WAY WITH POWER TOOLS THAT DRAWS US TO THIS QUIET STREET ON THE WEST SIDE OF TOWN.

>> Gino: I STARTED WITH LITTLE PIECES, WITH JUST CHISELS.

BUT ONE YEAR, 1990, THERE WAS A TORNADO GOING THROUGH DOWNTOWN.

AND IT WIPED OUT QUITE A FEW TREES.

SO THERE WERE A LOT OF TREES AVAILABLE, LOTS OF WOOD OUT THERE.

SO SOMEBODY FROM THE PARKS DEPARTMENT HAD SEEN MY WORK-- LITTLE WORK-- AND THEY ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO MAKE A BIG ONE, WHICH I DID.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES, YOU GO TO A TREE, AND EITHER BECAUSE OF THE BRANCHES OR BECAUSE OF THE PATTERN IN THE GRAIN OR BECAUSE OF THE-- JUST THE LOOKS OF THE TREE, YOU CAN GET AN IDEA.

I HAVE ALL SIZES OF BLADES, ALL SIZES OF CHAIN SAWS.

I USE THIS A LOT, TOO-- THESE ARE GRINDERS AND SANDERS.

>> Mike: SPEAKING OF HANDS AND CHAIN SAWS, THERE'S STILL A TEN-FINGERED COUNT HERE.

>> Randy: CAN WE CHECK-- >> Mike: YOU'VE GOT THEM ALL, RIGHT?

>> Gino: YEAH.

I HAVE FOUR KIDS.

BUT EVER SINCE THEY WERE BORN, I'VE BEEN READING A LOT OF KIDS' BOOKS AND FABLES AND STORIES FOR CHILDREN.

SO I GET A LOT OF IDEAS FROM THOSE BOOKS, AND I'VE BEEN MAKING A LOT OF BOOK CHARACTERS.

THAT'S GREEN LANTERN.

>> Mike: AND HIS FEMALE-- >> Gino: HER NAME IS MARVEL GIRL.

AND THAT'S BEETLE BAILEY.

AND THIS LADY HERE, SHE USED TO BE A WALNUT TREE.

>> Mike: AND YOU WERE TRAINED TO DO THIS BY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, BY-- >> Gino: MOSTLY BY WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE DOING IT.

I NEVER HAD A CLASS ON CARVING, ACTUALLY.

I PICKED IT UP JUST BY SEEING OTHER PEOPLE DOING IT.

I'VE MADE A SKELETON.

I ALSO MADE A MODEL OF INTERNAL ORGANS.

I'VE DONE THE HEART AND THE LIVER, INTESTINES, EVERYTHING.

ACTUALLY, IT'S RIGHT HERE.

>> Randy: OH, THERE.

WHICH INTERNAL ORGANS ARE THOSE?

>> LET'S SEE.

WE HAVE THE LUNGS.

I'M MISSING THE HEART-- MY KIDS HAVE BEEN PLAYING WITH THE HEART.

THIS HERE IS MY KIDS' PLAYGROUND.

>> Randy: THAT'S GOT OUR NAME WRITTEN ALL OVER IT.

>> Mike: THIS LOOKS LIKE NO FUN AT ALL.

>> OOH... >> I THINK BEING GINO'S KID SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY GOOD GIG.

>> YEAH.

GREAT GIG.

>> Gino: THEY HAVE-- WE HAVE FUN TOGETHER, ACTUALLY.

WE PLAY A LOT EVERYWHERE.

>> Don: GINO'S DOG LOOKS LIKE A PRETTY GOOD JOB.

>> EVERYTHING SEEMS LIKE IT HAPPENED ON TIME, OR A MATTER OF PROGRESSION.

I'VE JUST BEEN GETTING BIGGER AND BETTER-LOOKING PROJECTS.

I NEVER, NEVER CUT A LIVE TREE.

I NEVER WORK ON A LIVE TREE.

TREE HAS TO BE DEAD, EITHER FROM DISEASE OR FROM THE STRONG WINDS.

>> Don: SO NO TREES WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS ART.

>> DEFINITELY NOT.

>> Don: HERE IT IS A NEW DAY, AND ALREADY WE'RE LOSING GROUND, HEADING RIGHT BACK THE WAY WE CAME ON HIGHWAY 54, TOO FAST TO STOP AND SMELL THE COFFEE OR EVEN THESE LOVELY SUNFLOWERS WAVING IN THE MORNING BREEZE.

SMILING OR NOT, I GUESS OUR PATH LEADS HERE, BECAUSE YET ANOTHER TEACHER APPEARS TO HAVE KEPT VERY BUSY DURING HIS PLANNING PERIOD.

THE SIGN SAYS HENRY'S SCULPTURE HILL, BUT THIS ENGLISH TEACHER'S NAME IS FRANK, WHICH PROMISES TO BE VERY CONFUSING, ESPECIALLY IF THESE TWO PRODUCERS HAVE ONLY READ THE CLIFF NOTES.

>> T.V.

WEASELS.

WOW.

>> Randy: SOMEBODY'S CHASING SOMEBODY IS CHASING SOMEBODY, AND THIS PERSON'S IN FRONT.

A LITTLE STUBBLE.

>> Mike: THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL-- >> WHAT?

>> TWO OR THREE TIMES A DAY.

>> YEAH.

BY ABOUT 10:00 A.M. >> WELL, I'VE JUST ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT THE UNDERSIDE OF A GRASSHOPPER LOOKED LIKE.

>> TICKLE ITS MANDIBLE AND YOU CAN LEARN.

IT'S PAN AND THE FOUR CHILDREN.

>> HE'S LEADING THE HAPPY CHILDREN OUT OF TOWN, RIGHT?

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S FROM AN E.E.

CUMMINGS POEM.

>> YOU'VE GOT THE SHEET.

YOU KNOW.

>> I'VE GOT THE CHEAT SHEET.

>> Mike: IF THIS STUFF IS BASED ON LITERATURE, I'M AT A SERIOUS DISADVANTAGE HERE.

>> Frank: I TAUGHT ENGLISH, AND THAT'S ABOUT ALL I CAN SAY ABOUT IT.

>> Mike: THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO SAY ABOUT ENGLISH, OR-- >> WELL, YOU KNOW.

PEOPLE THINK YOU EITHER TAUGHT SHOP, OR YOU TAUGHT ART OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

NO, I TAUGHT ENGLISH.

>> Randy: DO YOU SEE YOURSELF AS A PAINTER OF SORTS WHO WORKS WITH METAL?

>> Frank: NO, NO, NO, NO.

I SEE MYSELF AS A GUY WHO WORKS WITH METAL, PERIOD, I THINK.

I WANT TO HAVE FUN.

YEAH, I WANT PEOPLE TO HAVE FUN WHEN THEY SEE 'EM.

SOME OF 'EM AREN'T TOO MUCH FUN, I'LL AGREE WITH THAT.

YOU KNOW, LIKE THE LION IS NOT NECESSARY FUN, BUT YOU'RE BENDING SOME PRETTY GOOD STEEL WHEN YOU MAKE THAT.

>> Randy singing: ♪ TO DREAM ♪ ♪ THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM... ♪ STUDY IN CONTRAST, MIKE.

SHARP TAIL, DULL TAIL.

'CAUSE IT'S LOW--SMALL CHILDREN.

THAT ONE'S ONLY HIGH ENOUGH TO CATCH STUPID ADULTS.

>> Randy: OW.

>> Frank: I CALL IT THREE-DIMENSIONAL LINEAR, TO BE HONEST ABOUT IT, BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE SKELETON.

IT'S SOMEWHAT THE MUSCLES AND THE OVERALL DESIGN OF IT.

SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW, YOU SPEND A DAY ON DOING A COUPLE OF THESE, BECAUSE, "HEY, THAT'S NOT RIGHT," AND YOU DO IT AGAIN.

"HEY, THAT'S NOT RIGHT," AND YOU DO IT AGAIN, AND SO FORTH.

AND THEN SOMETIMES, YOU JUST PLAY AROUND WITH THINGS.

LIKE HERE'S A PRINCESS ON HER HIGH HORSE.

GATOR BOB, THE ONE-ARMED BANJO PLAYER.

>> Randy: THIS GUY'S HAVING A GOOD TIME.

AND I KNOW WHAT HE'S FROM.

I KNOW THE LITERARY REFERENCE.

>> Mike: IT'S THE BEER-BARREL POLKA.

SO HOW IS IT THAT YOU CAN DO IT?

DO YOU HAVE ANY THEORIES ABOUT WHY-- >> Frank: I'M JUST DUMB ENOUGH TO STAY WITH IT, THAT'S ALL.

>> Randy: BUT YOU WEREN'T EVER A FARMER.

NO LIVING ON THE LAND.

>> Frank: NO, NO.

>> ALWAYS IN TOWN; YOU WERE ALWAYS A CITY GUY.

>> WELL, I'D GO VISIT MY PARENTS; THEY LIVED ON THE FARM.

>> BUT YOU'RE DODGING ME HERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

YOU LIVED THE CITY LIFE, BASICALLY.

>> WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY IS--WHAT DO THEY CALL 'EM?

WIMPS?

YOU KNOW, LIKE I DON'T HAVE THE RED-NECKED TOUGHNESS OF A FARM BOY OR SOMETHING, I THINK THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

>> Randy: YEAH.

>> Mike: HEY.

HE'S WEARING MAKEUP.

I DON'T THINK HE CAN SAY THAT.

>> CAN I COME OUT YET?

IS HE NOT MAD AT ME ANYMORE?

>> Don: SOMETIMES, EVEN THESE GUYS KNOW WHEN IT'S BEST TO WRAP IT UP, SO WE WRAPPED RIGHT OUT OF FRANK'S, HAVING LEARNED, AT LEAST, WHO HENRY WAS.

AND THAT WOULD BE DAVID THOREAU, THE WALDEN GUY WITH THE POND, WHICH, CONSIDERING THE WEATHER, WOULD BE MOST WELCOME, BUT NO SUCH LUCK.

JUST MORE TIME IN THE VAN, CROSSING MORE STATE LINES TO COMMIT MORE VIDEO CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS, THOUGH IT APPEARS THAT GUTHRIE, OKLAHOMA, MAY NOT BE SUCH A GREAT PLACE TO COMMIT THEM.

TALK ABOUT HEAT.

FOR THAT MATTER, LET'S TALK ABOUT FIRE, SINCE THIS PLACE MAY JUST BE THE EPICENTER OF IT.

>> Randy: HUH.

NATIONAL LIGHTER MUSEUM, AS OPPOSED TO REGIONAL ONES.

>> Mike: NO SMOKING?

>> Ted: THIS IS THE MOTHER OF ALL TECHNOLOGY.

THE LIGHTER IS ACTUALLY ABOUT 85,000 YEARS OLDER THAN THE DISCOVERY OF TOBACCO.

THE MOST CONTEMPORARY THING ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME HAS ALWAYS BEEN A METHOD OF MAKING FIRE: THE LIGHTER.

I GAVE THEM A POLITICAL CORRECT NAME: THEY'RE MECHANICAL PYROTECHNIC APPARATUS.

THESE ARE TRADE ITEMS FROM THE CHINESE THAT COULD'VE WENT ACROSS THE SILK TRAIL.

IT HELD TWO THINGS: A PIECE OF FLINT AND A PIECE OF TINDER.

HERE IN THIS CABINET, I'VE GOT A LOT OF 'EM THAT'S FROM THE MID 1700s, MID 18th CENTURY, AND THEY WORK BY GENERATING THEIR OWN GASES OUT OF THEIR HYDROGEN GENERATOR APPARATUSES.

THIS LITTLE GENTLEMAN ACTUALLY GENERATES ITS OWN FUEL.

THEY CLAIM THERE'S NO ONE ALIVE TODAY THAT REALLY UNDERSTANDS HOW THESE WORK.

WE HAVE PROBABLY BETWEEN 15,000 AND 20,000.

THE AGE ISN'T WHAT MAKES THEM VALUABLE.

THERE'S A LOT OF ZIPPOS NOW THAT, I HATE TO TELL YOU, WE'LL PAY SEVERAL THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR.

THIS PROBABLY DATES ABOUT-- I WOULD SAY, PROBABLY BEFORE THE CIVIL WAR, MAYBE 1840.

>> Randy: THAT'S GOT TO BE WORTH A LOT OF MONEY, DOESN'T IT?

>> I PAID A LOT OF MONEY.

DON'T WORRY; I DID.

YOU WOULD PUSH ON THIS, AND IT WOULD THROW THE SPARK OVER AND IGNITE THE FUEL.

I GOT IT FROM THE ORIGINAL ESTATE OF AN OLD BANKER, AND I'M THE ONLY ONE TO OWN IT OUTSIDE THE ORIGINAL ESTATE.

AND OF COURSE, YOU CUT THE END OFF OF THE CIGAR.

THIS IS VIENNESE BRONZE.

IT'S MY FAVORITE, BECAUSE I TURNED DOWN $1,000 FOR IT.

AND I--YOU KNOW, I'M A HIGH BIDDER.

IF I TURN DOWN AN OFFER, THEN I JUST BOUGHT IT BACK.

I LOVE THESE THINGS, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I TRY TO FIND GOOD HOMES FOR THEM.

>> Randy: HOW DO YOU RECOGNIZE A GOOD HOME, TED?

>> Ted: THE PAIN, THE EXCRUCIATING PAIN THAT THEY SHOW WHEN THEY PAY ME.

>> Don: SPEAKING OF PAIN, THE MORAL HERE APPEARS TO BE THAT EVEN IN A FRIENDLY PLACE LIKE THIS-- >> all: WELCOME TO GUTHRIE!

>> Don: YOU STILL GOTTA BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHO YOU'RE FLIRTIN' WITH, OR SOMEONE MAY TAKE OFFENSE.

[gun shots] GOOD THING THAT BALL'S A QUICK HEALER, BECAUSE OUR SCHEDULE LEAVES NO TIME FOR RECUPERATION.

WE ARE, HOWEVER, ABOUT TO MAKE SOME COSMIC RESTITUTION FOR SOME BAD RESEARCH THAT WAS RESEARCHED BADLY ON THIS SHOW A FEW YEARS BACK.

AND THAT IS WHY WE ARE DRIVING PAST, THOUGH NOT ACTUALLY STOPPING AT, THE BIG ROUND BARN OF ARCADIA.

>> Mike: IT'S ROUND.

>> Randy: BIG AND ROUND.

>> Don: ARCADIA, OKLAHOMA, NOT MISSOURI--THANK YOU, MIKE-- WHICH FALLS CONVENIENTLY ON THE WAY TO OKLAHOMA CITY.

AND O.K.C.

JUST HAPPENS TO BE THE HOMETOWN OF MICHAEL BREWER, OUR FRIEND FROM THE FAMED ROCK DUO BREWER & SHIPLEY.

IT'S WHERE HIS SISTER CHARLA STILL LIVES, A SISTER WHO ONCE VOWED THAT A DEAD AMPHIBIAN HE DROPPED DOWN HER SHIRT WOULD COST HIM BIG.

>> all singing: ♪ TOADS.

♪ ♪ TOADS.

♪ ♪ TOADS.

♪ ♪ TO-O-O-O-ADS.

♪ ♪ >> Brown: TO DO IN MY BROTHER, IT WAS WELL WORTH IT.

BUT WHAT I DIDN'T EXPECT-- I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT FOR LIFE.

I THOUGHT I'D SEND HIM A COUPLE OF DEAD TOADS, AND HE'D GO, "OOH, QUIT."

NO, HE LIKED 'EM.

SO FOR 20 YEARS, I HAVE BEEN CREATING CHARACTERS AND TRYING TO CREATE BETTER CHARACTERS.

THE FIRST ONE WAS A TOAD I PUT IN RESIN.

AND I IMPLANTED IT IN THICK PLASTIC FOR A PAPERWEIGHT, AND HE THOUGHT THAT WAS NEAT.

SO I THOUGHT, "WELL, HE THINKS THAT'S NEAT.

I CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT."

AND I MADE HIM ONE CALLED PETER COTTONTOAD.

>> Brewer singing: ♪ THEY GOT LITTLE TOADY HANDS ♪ ♪ AND LITTLE TOADY FEET.

♪ ♪ YOU CAN FIND 'EM ♪ ♪ IN THE YARD.

♪ ♪ YOU CAN SCRAPE 'EM ♪ ♪ OFF THE STREET.

♪ ♪ THEY GOT LITTLE TOADY EYES, ♪ ♪ LITTLE TOADY HIPS, BUT ♪ ♪ YOU DON'T WANT TO KISS 'EM ♪ ♪ ON THEIR LITTLE TOADY LIPS.

♪ ♪ 'CAUSE THEY USED TO BE ♪ ♪ PRETTY ROTTEN-- ♪ >> Brown: ♪ ROTTEN.

♪ >> Brewer: ♪ AND NOW ♪ ♪ THEY'RE STUFFED ♪ ♪ FULL OF COTTON ♪ ♪ AND THEY MIGHT EXPLODE-- ♪ >> Brown: ♪ MIGHT EXPLODE.

♪ >> both: ♪ MY DEAD TOAD.

♪ >> Brown: GOSH.

THERE'S 22 OF 'EM: BUFFALO BILL TOADY, MINNETOADA FATS, KING TOADUNKHAMAN, A TOADUM POLE-- TOAD STOOL; THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

>> Brewer singing: ♪ YOU CAN SIT 'EM ♪ ♪ ON A STICK ♪ ♪ AND COMB THEIR LITTLE HAIR.

♪ ♪ YOU CAN PEEL 'EM ♪ ♪ OFF THE DRIVEWAY, ♪ ♪ SAIL 'EM THROUGH THE AIR.

♪ ♪ YOU CAN PUT 'EM IN A DRESS, ♪ ♪ MAKE 'EM PRETTIER THAN HECK.

♪ ♪ BUT YOU DON'T WANT ♪ ♪ TO KISS 'EM ♪ ♪ ON THEIR LITTLE TOADY NECK.

♪ ♪ 'CAUSE THEY USED TO BE ♪ ♪ PRETTY SLEAZY-- ♪ >> Brown: ♪ SLEAZY.

♪ >> Brewer: ♪ AND NOW ♪ ♪ THEY'RE HERE ♪ ♪ ON THE T.V.

BEING SHOWED-- ♪ >> Brown: ♪ BEING SHOWED.

♪ >> both: ♪ MY DEAD TOAD.

♪ >> Brown: EVERY TIME I SEE A DEAD TOAD, IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A DEAD TOAD-- NATURALLY, STILL INTACT?

>> Randy: NATURAL CAUSES.

>> SOME OF THEM WERE A LITTLE FRIGHTENING, BUT I MANAGED TO SEW 'EM TOGETHER LIKE FRANKENSTEIN.

>> Brewer singing: ♪ MY DEAD TOAD.

♪ ♪ MY DEAD TOAD.

♪ >> I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I SWEAR AN OATH AGAINST MY BROTHER, AND 20 YEARS LATER HE'S WRITING A SONG ABOUT IT.

I MEAN, WHO'S THE SICKEST, THE ONE THAT STUFFS THEM OR THE ONE THAT LIKES THEM?

THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.

>> Brewer singing: ♪ ONCE HE WAS A FAT ONE-- ♪ >> Brown: ♪ FAT ONE.

♪ >> Brewer: ♪ BUT NOW HE'S JUST ♪ ♪ A FLAT ONE ON THE ROAD.

♪ >> both: ♪ MY DEAD TOAD.

♪ ♪ MY... ♪ ♪ DEAD... ♪ ♪ TOAD.

♪ ♪ >> Brewer: RIBBIT.

SAVE THEIR LITTLE SOULS.

BLESS THEIR LITTLE HEARTS.

THEY DIED BENEATH A PICKUP TRUCK.

THEY GAVE THEIR LIVES FOR ART.

>> Don: I BELIEVE I'VE TOAD YOU BEFORE HOW ALL THIS SO-CALLED FUN TAKES A TOLL ON EVEN THE TOUGHEST OF CAMERA GUYS.

SO YOU CAN IMAGINE MY DELIGHT WHEN WE ACTUALLY PULLED IT OVER JUST AS THE SETTIN' SUN WAS DONE SETTIN' OVER CLINTON, OKLAHOMA.

>> Don: WHAT'S SPECIAL ABOUT BEST WESTERN HERE?

>> Mike: WHAT'S IT SAY?

>> ELVIS.

ELVIS.

>> ELVIS WHAT?

>> ELVIS SLEPT HERE FOUR TIMES.

>> Don: IF THESE TWO CAN BE BELIEVED, AND AT LEAST HALF THE TIME THEY CAN'T, THE TRADEWINDS LIES HALFWAY BETWEEN MEMPHIS AND VEGAS, SO BACK IN THE '60s, THE KING WOULD, ON OCCASION, PARK HIS ASSETS HERE.

>> Mike: SWANK ENOUGH?

>> Randy: NAUGAHYDE?

>> Don: THEY'VE KEPT IT EXACTLY THE SAME EVER SINCE, SO IN ANTICIPATION OF SOME VERY SPECIAL DREAMS, I NEED TO SAY-- [impersonating Elvis] "THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH".

[horn honks] TO THE UNTRAINED EYE, IT MIGHT APPEAR WE'RE PURELY PLAYING.

BUT ACTUALLY, THIS MORNING'S CATCH RECREATES AN HISTORICAL EVENT.

THEY SAY THAT ON HIS LAST STAY HERE, THE KING CAME OUT AND TOSSED A FEW WITH THE NEIGHBOR KIDS.

IN FACT-- >> Mike: HE PLAYED WITHOUT A GLOVE.

>> Randy: GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

>> ME TOO.

NO GLOVES.

>> Don: BACK AT THE HOME OFFICE, THE BEST WESTERN BIGWIGS JUST DON'T GET IT.

THEY THINK ROOM 215 SHOULD BE MODERNIZED AND DENAUGAFYED, TO WHICH WE POLITELY RESPOND-- [raspberry] GOOD THING WE'RE HEADING UPWIND, WEST TOWARD CHEYENNE, TO SEE WHAT'S LEFT OF THE STATE'S MOST FAMOUS BUNKER.

SEEMS JOE MUELBACHER, AN AUSTRIAN IMMIGRANT WHO CAME TO BE KNOWN AS "THE HERMIT OF THE HILLS," FELT CERTAIN THAT THE GERMAN ARMY WOULD BE MARCHIN' ON OKLAHOMA.

AND HE, FOR ONE, WAS GONNA BE PREPARED.

>> Pudge: THIS WAS HIS LOOKOUT TOWER.

AND IT STOOD UP, AND THERE WAS A LADDER THAT CAME UP RIGHT OVER THERE.

AND THEN THERE WAS A LADDER ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF IT.

AND THERE WAS A POLE, A STICK STICKING UP THERE, THAT YOU COULD HANG ON AND WALK AROUND AND LOOK IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

NO ONE'S GOING TO SNEAK UP ON HIM.

>> Mike: I'D HAVE TO SAY IT WORKED, BECAUSE THE GERMANS NEVER GOT HERE.

>> NEVER MADE IT.

HELL, THEY LEFT KANSAS ALONE, SO THEY WOULDN'T WANT OKLAHOMA.

NO, THEY DIDN'T-- YOU SAID YOU COULD EDIT THIS.

THE GERMANS NEVER DID GET CLOSE TO OKLAHOMA THAT I KNOW OF.

THESE USED TO STICK OUT ABOUT THIS FAR, AND THERE WAS ROCKS AROUND THE END OF IT.

LOOKED TO ME LIKE IT WAS HOW THEY DECORATED THE CANNONS IN EUROPE.

AND I FIGURED WHEN ALL THE GERMANS CAME, HE WANTED TO SCARE 'EM TO THINK THAT HE HAD CANNONS ON EACH SIDE.

>> Randy: THESE ARE FIGURES, RIGHT?

>> YEAH.

THIS IS ONE THAT HAS A LADY'S NAME ON THIS SIDE AND HAD ROOSEVELT-- HE THOUGHT ROOSEVELT WAS A WONDERFUL PERSON, I GUESS, FOR BRINGING US OUT OF THE DEPRESSION.

ON THE INSIDE, THERE'S A-- IF YOU CARE TO COME IN-- UP HERE, THERE WAS PICTURE FRAMES.

HE'D JUST TAKE A PICTURE HE LIKED AND PUT UP THERE.

YOU KNOW, IT'D GET SMOKY AND DARK.

>> Randy: THIS IS ONE MAN'S WORK?

>> ONE MAN'S WORK.

IN THE ARTICLE, IT SAID HE USED A PLOW AND A HORSE AND A SHOVEL TO BUILD HIS TERRACES.

I'M CERTAIN HE DID THE SAME THING HERE.

USED TO, ON A SUNDAY MORNING-- OR SUNDAY, WHEN THE FAMILIES WOULD COME IN FROM THE CITIES-- AFTER DINNER, YOU'D GO SEE JOE.

YOU'D COME OUT AND VISIT, AND THEN HE'D ENTERTAIN YOU, AND THERE MIGHT BE 30 PEOPLE OUT HERE SEEING JOE.

IT'S UNIQUE; IT'S DIFFERENT.

JUST WHERE A MAN CAME AND MADE HIS LIFE AND DIED.

HOW HE DID IT WAS STRANGE, BUT HE WAS ABLE TO GET THROUGH IT.

JUST LIKE CAMERAMAN.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO PICK ON HIM, I AM TOO.

>> Don: I'M NOT SURE IF SOMEONE NAMED PUDGE SHOULD BE THROWIN' STONES.

JUST KIDDING.

IF ALL OUR TOUR GUIDES WERE THIS CONGENIAL, WE'D NEVER LEAVE OKLAHOMA-- THOUGH THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE DOING NOW: CROSSING OVER INTO TEXAS, SLIDING PAST A SILENT SENTINEL THAT TELLS YOU YOU'RE ALMOST IN CANADIAN, WHERE GENE COCKRELL HAS BEEN COUNTERING THE EFFECTS OF RETIREMENT BY KEEPING UP WITH HIS COWBOYS AND POURING LOTS OF CONCRETE.

>> Gene: I RETIRED AND HAD TO DO SOMETHING, SO I HAD TO BUILD SOMETHING SILLY.

AND I ALWAYS WANTED TO BUILD STUFF LIKE THIS ANYWAY.

THIS IS MATILDA, AND THIS IS TILLY.

THAT'S HER BABY.

>> Randy: I THOUGHT YOU WERE POINTING DOWN HERE TO THE T-REX.

>> MY FINGER WASN'T LONG ENOUGH.

THIS IS GROUCH.

I NAMED IT AFTER MY FOURTH GRADE TEACHER.

FITS HER PRETTY GOOD TOO.

>> Mike: DOES SHE KNOW YOU DID THAT NOW?

>> NO, SHE'S BEEN DEAD A LONG TIME, OR I'D HAVE BEEN AFRAID TO NAME IT AFTER HER.

I HAVE SOME PRETTY GOOD CRITICS WHEN I'M BUILDING THINGS.

EVERYBODY'S GOT TO TELL ME IT DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT YET.

THAT'S ONE REASON WHY I STARTED OUT BUILDING DINOSAURS, 'CAUSE NOBODY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT THEY LOOKED LIKE, SO I SAID, "THAT'S IT."

THAT'S MAUDE AND CLAUDE.

YOU DON'T STICK YOUR HAND IN THERE; THAT'S HOT.

OLD BOY BACKED INTO MY BUFFALO BACK THERE AND JUST BROKE HIM RIGHT DOWN THE SIDE AND OVER THE TOP.

I HAD TO REDO HIM.

>> Randy: THE OLD BOY?

>> NO, I DIDN'T REDO HIM.

HE WAS A LOT BIGGER THAN I WAS.

>> I'D USE THE OUTHOUSE, BUT THERE APPEARS TO BE A WAIT.

>> Audrey: I ENJOY HIM DOING IT, BECAUSE IT KIND OF KEEPS HIM BUSY, KEEPS HIM OUT OF MY HAIR, REALLY.

I TOLD HIM LAST TIME; I SAID, "NEXT TIME YOU PUT SOMETHING OUT THERE, BOY, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO HIRE SOMEBODY TO START MOWING, 'CAUSE IT'S NOT ANY FUN, TRYING TO MOW AROUND THAT STUFF.

>> Mike: NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

HE'S GOT YOU OUT DOING THE MOWING?

>> ASK HIM.

>> Randy: JUST MAKE A SIGN-- YES OR NO, GENE.

>> Gene: KIDS LIKE 'EM REAL WELL, SO THAT'S THE REASON I DONE IT.

I'VE ACTUALLY DONE ALL THIS FOR KIDS.

OH, THAT COWGIRL?

>> Randy: YEAH, WE'VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT HER.

>> YOU'VE SEEN HER, HUH?

>> WELL, I'VE SEEN HER, BUT APPARENTLY SHE WASN'T ALWAYS THIS WAY, GENE.

>> RIGHT.

>> Audrey: I DRESSED HER.

HE WASN'T GOING TO PUT ANY CLOTHES ON HER.

WHEN I DECIDE SOMETHING, THAT'S THE LAW.

JUST ASK HIM.

>> Mike: THUMBS UP OR THUMBS DOWN ON THAT ONE?

>> IT'S NOTHING.

I DIDN'T-- WE'RE NOT THAT CLOSE, REALLY.

NICE HAIR, THOUGH.

>> Gene: I'M PROUD OF IT.

I ENJOY IT.

IF I DIDN'T, I WOULDN'T BUILT IT.

A LOT OF PEOPLE COME-- ESPECIALLY HOLIDAYS, THERE'LL BE A LOT OF CARS COMING OUT HERE.

>> Don: BESIDES BRONTOSAURI, CANADIAN CLEARLY HAS SOMETHING ELSE THAT MOST OF WEST TEXAS DOESN'T--HILLS.

PERHAPS IT IS THE TERRAIN, WHICH IS PRETTY PLAIN, THAT'S LULLED MIKE INTO A KIND OF COMA, FROM WHICH HE MANAGED TO EMERGE JUST IN TIME TO CATCH THE CADILLAC RANCH.

IT'S RIGHT THERE OUTSIDE AMARILLO OFF OLD ROUTE 66, INSTALLED BACK IN THE '70s AND A GATHERING PLACE FOR GAWKERS AND GRAFFITI EVER SINCE.

>> Don: I THINK I'VE FOUND THE MOST POPULAR VIEWING POINT.

>> Marsh: DOESN'T IT LOOK TO YOU LIKE--DOESN'T IT REMIND YOU OF THE VALLEY OF THE KINGS?

IT IS THE GREATEST UNDERTAKING OF MAN SINCE THE VALLEY OF THE KINGS AND THE PYRAMID OF CHEOPS.

IT'S THE GREATEST ROADSIDE ATTRACTION IN AMERICA.

THE STATUE OF LIBERTY IS JUST AN OLD FRENCH THING.

IT IS THE GREATEST ROADSIDE ATTRACTION SINCE THE TOWER OF BABEL.

AND IT CURES THE HANGNAILS.

IF YOU JUST GO AND DIP YOUR HAND WITH A HANGNAIL INTO ONE OF THE CARS, IT'S LIKE TAKING IT TO LOURDES.

IT CURES YOU IMMEDIATELY.

TEN ERECT CADILLACS!

AND WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY MADE THOSE SEATS THAT LEANED BACK THAT WAY AND THE AIR CONDITIONING FOR?

AS LONG AS THEY WERE MAKING CARS LIKE THIS, WE COULD USE ALL THE GASOLINE WE WANTED, AND WE DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE SUBVERSIVE, SPRAWLING SUBURBIA OR ECOLOGY OR EXHAUST FUMES OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

WE WERE HAVING A GOOD TIME.

>> Don: THEY SAY FUN IS WHERE YOU FIND IT.

I SAY IF YOU FANCY FINS, THAT'S FINE.

BUT I KNOW ONE VAN I WOULDN'T MIND PLANTING.

THIS IS DON THE CAMERA GUY, SIGNING OFF.

Captioning provided by KCPT Television.

Captioning byCaptionMax www.captionmax.com >> WELL, I'M PARTIAL TO THIS FIN RIGHT HERE.

AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO CLIMB UP ON TOP OF THAT WITH THE GHOST OF GRACE KELLEY.

THE CARS MADE US OPTIMISTIC.

BECAUSE AT THAT YOUNG AGE, WE COULD GET AWAY FROM MOM AND DAD.

WE COULD HAVE VALUE AND WE COULD DATE GIRLS AND WE COULD SKIP OUR HOMEWORK.

AND DURING THAT TIME, THE CADILLAC BECAME THE EPITOME OF A CERTAIN WAY-- WHAT CARS SHOULD BE.

IF PEOPLE DIDN'T HAVE A CADILLAC, THEY SAID, "OH, I HAVE A CHEVROLET.

THEY GET BETTER MILEAGE."

OR, "I HAVE A FORD.

IT'S BETTER."

"CHRYSLER PRODUCTS ARE BETTER ENGINEERED."

BUT THEY HAD A CADILLAC, OR THEY HAD A REASON NOT TO HAVE IT.

DO YOU KNOW ANYBODY THAT'S INTERESTED IN HALF OF A CADILLAC?

>> male announcer: THIS PROGRAM HAS MADE POSSIBLE IN PART BY A GRANT FROM THE NATIONAL EDUCATIONAL TELECOMMUNICATIONS ASSOCIATION AND THE CORPORATION FOR PUBLIC BROADCASTING.