[ragtime music playing] ♪♪ Woman 1: Okay, everybody, can we have everyone back here?

Okay, this is the call for places, and we're standing by for top of the show.

♪♪ Man 1: Telling stories is just some-- it's magical.

And acting is another way to tell stories.

From the walk of redemption, to the peace of forgiveness.

- All right, already!

[applause] Man 1: I just know from my limited experience doing local theater that's it's hard to get in to plays.

You have to audition for a lot before you get chosen for even one.

And, I mean, you can't take care of a family unless you're making some sort of income.

You know what I mean?

I haven't been paid to be an actor, not really.

♪♪ I have been looking forward to being a father and a husband because I’ve had such a good family growing up.

I'm really excited to see if I can learn from my ancestors, if they were able to completely live their dream and passion as far as a career and still have a wonderful family life, or if I have ancestors maybe that lived a career and that was their focus, and they just followed their dreams and their passions, and their family life suffered.

I wanna know those answers.

♪♪ - Hello, I’m Lise Simms.

And each week on our show, we bring you the story of someone who, for one reason or another, wants to get know an ancestor or an entire generation of their family tree.

And we help them do just that.

We're an ongoing project, dedicated to connecting people across generations.

And today, that person is Will McAllister.

Welcome, Will.

- Thanks, Lise.

Lise: Absolutely.

When you started your journey here, Will, you really felt that it was a contradiction to have a dream career and a family.

Why?

- Uh, I guess it's because I...

I think that the kind of dream career I want is one that maybe, it's just been depicted as one that's hard on a family.

Or I, I see all my friends getting their-- going into more practical, practical careers, and, uh, I think is what I’m doing gonna give me time to be with my family?

It's gonna give me what I-- financially, is it gonna help me take care of my family?

And it just, it's-- I don't know, it seems like it couldn't be-- it couldn't be practical.

Lise: So, your dream career is the theatre and film, you're a filmmaker, you're an actor.

Will: Yes.

- What's that passion all about?

When did it begin?

- It began a long time ago.

It began when I was-- well, filmmaking began when I was a little boy, and, uh, I’d watch cartoons and movies, and, uh, Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, Christmas special.

See those little guys moving around, and I wanted to do that.

So, my friend gets a video camera for Christmas, I don't even know, we were maybe nine years old.

And, um, we started teaching ourselves how to make stop motion animation films, and then we, you know, oftentimes, we did need human actors.

We were, we were it 'cause we were the ones that were around.

But I, uh, I wore my dad’s video camera out making movies.

- [laughs] - So, that happened from when I was young.

Got into acting as, uh, as more of a serious, um, passion later in life.

- What does that passion do for you?

How does it fill you up?

Will: Acting?

- Yes.

- Oh, it, uh, it allows, it allows me to tell stories.

It helps me connect with people.

It, uh, creates some sort of... communal connection.

In fact, I wrote about it in my journal, I’m gonna read it 'cause I think it might be easier than trying to-- Lise: Okay.

- --figure out what to say right now.

It says, I wrote in here, "I don't do it for their praise.

"I’ve never been interested in acting for gaining praise.

"I act because I love telling stories "and acting is a powerful way of doing that.

"I want to get up there, "and this is for the audience as much as it is for me.

"I wanna connect with them.

"Human connection, "communal feeling, thinking, growing, "is a powerful, beautiful thing.

That's why I do it."

- Well, ironically, that sort of is the same thing that a family is.

Human connection.

- That's true.

- And your family is equally important to you.

Will: Oh, yeah.

- And your future family as well, is that correct?

Will: So important.

- So, what made you think that learning about your family history would provide an answer?

- Well, I think it's because I-I was hoping that, uh, as, as I look back to what my family, my ancestors have done, and I-- if I can see that they've had some sort of dream career and also have been able to take care of a family, it'll help sooth my nerves on the whole situation.

I think you learn a lot from history.

History can repeat itself, and family history even more so.

And the ability to learn from their successes and failures can help.

Plus, it will just connect.

I, I came from them, I'm a r-- I'm a-- the reason why I’m here is because of them.

So, I think learning from them is just, is gonna be a powerful thing.

Lise: Well, you start your journey talking to your dad at one of your typical Sunday family gatherings, very important experience for you, and you're really looking to find out how he and other ancestors dealt with perhaps the same issue.

- Yes.

- Let's watch that.

- Okay.

- Okay.

♪♪ [indistinct conversation] Will: When I know it's a Sunday that I get to come home, I get excited early in the week knowing that I’m gonna be here.

We have to-- my family’s so big, we have to split us up into two ta-- two rooms.

- Have we got silverware, dear?

- Well, we did at one time.

Will: It seems chaotic, but the vibe, the, the... the atmosphere, I just, I love it.

There's just much love.

You do, you feel lots of love.

♪♪ Will's Dad: That was good food, huh?

Will: Yeah.

So, you know, basically, that I’m pondering-- I’ve got kind of inner dilemma, I-- there's things that I love doing, filmmaking and storytelling and acting, but so far, at this point in my life, I haven't really made any money doing it-- [chuckles] and I know there's a way to make money at it, but I don't know how much effort I need to put into it.

And I’m willing to do that, except I’m worried that it could sacrifice having a healthy, happy, family relationship.

Will's Dad: That's a tough question, Will.

I know that that quandary has been a problem with our family for eons.

Your grandfather had a, a similar question.

I think his father had a similar question.

I don't know a great deal about my Grandfather McAllister.

I-I know that he was in the early days of the forest service, he took the examination and became a forest ranger.

Uh, in fact, he's credited to having created some of the most complete journals of a forest ranger during the infancy of the forest service.

And the forest service, uh, with the help of a gentleman, uh, Gail Carbeiner, he's transcribed Grandpa’s, uh, forest service journals.

- Cool.

Lise: Will's great-grandfather, Martin, became a forest ranger in 1907, just two years after the US Forest Service was established.

Martin was required to keep meticulous journals that chronicle his work as a ranger.

Will: Well, when I found out that there were journals that my great-grandpa had written, even though they were for his job that-- like, when I learned that Gail was able to learn about this man and feel like he knew him as a friend through just reading what he had written, I'm interested in seeing those.

And I’m interested in meeting this man, this Gail, this mysterious Gail, whoever he is.

♪♪ Hi, is this Gail?

Yeah, this is Will.

Uh-huh, we talked before.

Lise: Will has arranged to meet with Gail Carbeiner in St. George, Utah, where his great-grandfather, Martin, worked as a forest ranger.

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ - You wanna see 'em?

- Yeah, do you have them?

- I got 'em.

- The actual diaries?

- I got 'em.

- Oh, I'd love to see 'em!

- They're 100 years old.

- Oh, wow.

- Okay.

- I am so excited.

Gail: [chuckles] There were about 57 of them.

And you know, sometimes, I’ll swear, he wrote with a, with a dull pencil on a horse, because it was really hard to-- hard to read.

- Look, his handwriting's better than mine, though.

Just take a look at that.

Gail: Yeah, it's similar.

Yeah.

Lise: Martin's journals detail his many duties, which range from monitoring abuses of the forest's resources to trapping dangerous animals.

He also designed multiple cabins in which he and other rangers could stay when their work took them far from home.

One of these cabins, the Pine Valley cabin, still stands today.

♪♪ [horse whinnies] Will: You excited?

Gail: Yes, I am.

I am.

Will: How long has it been since you've been a horse?

Gail: 60 years.

- [laughs] Gail: 60 years.

What is going through my mind?

Uh, prayer.

- [laughter] Lise: Will and Gail have enlisted the help of Bevan Killpack, a modern ranger who oversees the Pine Valley forest.

They've asked Bevan to show them the land Martin patrolled and the cabin which he designed.

♪♪ Bevan: Now, this is what Martin would do every morning.

- Get up on his horse?

- And every morning, he'd get on there and he'd go-- [groaning] Ow.

All: [laughing] Bevan: Where did I go yesterday?

♪♪ Will: I’m really curious to know how my great-grandpa got involved in this.

First, I wanna know if it's something he desired, if it was a dream of his.

Bevan: I really don't think any of those jobs back then fell in anybody's lap.

- He has quite a bit in his diaries about studying to become a ranger.

And the tests, he actually took those tests, uh, more than once before he passed 'em.

And it was hard, really hard.

Bevan: I think, you know, he just had an interest, and he had a love for the outdoors.

♪♪ Will: This has gotta be really neat for you, Gail, to, to see what you've read about so many times.

Gail: You know, when you're doing the diaries-- Will: Uh-huh.

Gail: --you feel like you're right with 'em, you know?

And, uh, although this feels a little different than wr-riting the diaries, for sure.

Will: Here we go.

Here we go, Duke!

Whew!

Whoa, yeah.

[laughs] Bevan: Up here just a little ways, there's a bridge.

We'll cross.

Um, the cabin is just up the hill here and we're almost there.

Will, go ahead and go around the tree.

Will: Okay.

Bevan: Come on, Duke.

Will: Come on, Duke.

Bevan: Just kick him a little.

There's he's coming, he's coming now.

He's coming now.

Kick him.

Will: Let's go, buddy, let's go, Duke.

C'mon.

Bevan: Thatta boy, thatta boy.

Will: You're going, you're going, come on, come on.

Bevan: C'mon.

Will: C'mon, Duke.

You can do it.

I'm sure you've done this before.

Bevan: There he goes.

How'd that feel?

Will: That was great, a little rush of wind.

Bevan: [chuckles] Will: I'm getting, I'm getting-- I’m learning, I’m learning.

Woo!

♪♪ Bevan: This is where he stayed and spent probably a lotta summers right here.

Will: That is incredible.

Great-grandpa Martin lived there.

[birds chirping] Bevan: This is the porch that I imagine a lotta evenings were spent right here watching... watching that mountain, listening to that stream.

Will: Wow.

Bevan: And imagine how peaceful that is.

Gail: Would've been great.

- It's beautiful.

I mean, this is what he saw, this is-- I wanna touch what Grandpa touched.

I mean... [light tapping on wood] Bevan: Yep.

Gail: That's nice.

Will: Golly.

[birds chirping] Bevan: Will, this is the cabin.

And it's, uh, pretty much the way it was when he came here.

It's really, uh, a neat style of kitchen.

This is the table, but it folds up as a cupboard.

Will: Oh, as a door to the cupboard.

Bevan: A door to the cupboard.

Will: Brilliant!

Bevan: And it's not gonna go up.

Yeah, it is, it's gonna close.

Will: Oh, yeah.

So, there's nothing saying that Martin's hand didn't do this.

[drawer scrapes] Gail: Yeah.

[rustling] Will: Huh.

[clicking] This is the bedroom?

Bevan: Bedroom, yup.

And I don't think a king-sized bed'd fit in here.

Gail: No.

Will: No.

Gail: No for sure.

Bevan: Didn't matter.

Will: Wow, I mean, wow, Grandpa slept here.

Bevan: [chuckles] This is where he dreamed.

- This is where he dreamed.

- Uh-huh.

Bevan: Yeah.

[birds chirping] [woodpecker pecking] - I always talked about how I wanted to be connected to my ancestors and stuff, but I didn't realize that how standing where Martin stood, putting my hand on doorknobs that he opened countless times coming in and out of his cabin, riding a horse, seeing what he saw, I really felt like I was close to my gra-- my great-grandpa, like, right next to him.

I've been looking to find out if, if following your passion is what you should do versus really focusing on a family.

But I can see that-- I, I-- this must have been a passion.

You can't be out here and, and see all this and not just be full of life because of it.

So, I think he was living his dream.

And that's awesome.

I don't-- I-- one thing I don't know about him yet is his family life and how that was, if that was hard on them, or if there were strains.

[rustling] - Let's start buildin' a little teepee.

Gail: Teepee.

Bevan: I’m hearing crackles.

Gail: There's a pop.

There's a crackle.

Bevan: Yeah, the pinecones are burnin' now.

So, we'll get her goin' now.

[clears throat] [fire crackling] Will: When you're ready, I’m excited.

Do you want me to, do you want me to show you how to do it?

Gail: Yeah.

Will: Okay.

This is what you've gotta do to make a s'more.

I feel, I feel honored to teach you this because you've taught me so much today, and now I have a chance to teach you something.

So, what you do is you get, you get a marshmallow and you stick it on-- - Doubles are better.

- Doubles are better.

He's a brave, he's a brave man.

He's a brave man.

Gail: You think your great-grandfather ever did this?

Bevan: That's what you gotta do in order to be a district ranger, right?

Will: You've gotta know how to roast mallows, even in the hardest of fires.

[insect buzzes] [flames crackle] It makes me wonder, um, 'cause I’ve learned a lot about his work ethic and his personality.

That's what I’m trying to find out is... did it have a-- did it pay a toll on his family?

I mean, at what cost?

I don't know anything about his family life.

Gail: He had three grown-- he had five children, and he had, um, three that lived.

And, of course, his wife's Clara, they got married in 1895, I think.

And, uh, you know, they were the light of his life.

I knew, I knew it probably troubled him to leave every, every Monday.

He didn't put that in the diary, but you can kinda feel that.

I mean, his kids were, were in school, and the kids's graduation from school were normally when?

Summertime.

When's Martin in the mountains?

- Summertime.

- Summertime.

And there were some weeks where he didn't get home.

Uh, when he was out on the Arizona strip or when he was way out at Modena or that way, he, he couldn't make it home, it was too far.

So, he camped in his tent, and he stayed the next week.

So, was it hard on his family?

You bet, it had to have been hard.

[crickets chirping] ♪♪ Will: Oh, man, it was such a good day.

I, I think that Martin Lindsay McAllister wasn't able to have the balance between work and family that we like to have today because of his circumstances.

Yeah, I think following my passion that I have would have the potential of taking me away from my family a lot.

I would be thrilled if I could learn more about Martin Lindsay McAllister's family, more about how it was for them to have their dad gone all the time, and what kind of family life he did have.

Hey, Gail, how's it goin'?

You mentioned yesterday that there was somebody who knows a lot about Martin Lindsay's family and his wife.

And I forgot... Lise: The woman Will is looking for, is Helen Marr, a desendant of Martin and a distant cousin of Will.

Will knows that Martin's job took him away from his family for six or more days at a time, and that Martin and his wife lost two children.

He hopes that Helen will help him learn even more about Martin's relationship with his family.

Helen: Now, do you know that Martin Lindsay's wife is named Clara?

- I learned that last night.

Helen: Okay.

this is their wedding picture.

My grandmother, my mother's mother, went to the, to the wedding reception, and said, "I never saw such an elegant couple."

Let me tell you about her.

Can I tell you about her?

Will: Please, tell me all about her.

Helen: She had an ability to make everything around her beautiful.

Look at this dress.

She made this dress, and um, she was a professional china painter, this is a piece of china she painted.

- Really?

Helen: And-- Will: That's so cool.

Helen: Isn't that beautiful?

- So, I, I, yesterday I spent the-- I spent a lot of time up where Martin worked.

Helen: Mm-hmm.

Will: I mean, home was a long day's ride away, so he stayed up in the mountains and did his job, and would try to get home on Sundays when he could, but basically, he was gone six days a week.

Helen: It was difficult for him to work away from home so long.

And it was difficult for her, I’m sure.

It was difficult for the children, I’m sure.

She was living in St. George in 1900.

It was a desert.

And they, and they were-- they were trying to grow enough to eat.

Um, but in, in 1918, she was sent to the Utah State Mental Hospital.

And um, now this is 1918, that's 100 years ago.

Their understanding of mental health and their understanding of women's health was so much different than what we know today.

And, and she could have had postpartum depression, she could have had menopausal symptoms.

But they didn't know what to do with it at, at that time.

Will: Do you know when she got out of the hospital?

How old she was?

Helen: She-- Will: How much life she had after?

Helen: She died in the hospital.

Will: She died in the hospital.

Helen: She died in the hospital.

- And she was in there from... - 1918.

- ...until she died, which was... - Um... - '51?

- 1951.

- Wow.

Helen: Mm-hmm, yeah.

Will: Do you know what that did to their relationship, Martin and Clara?

Helen: I don't.

Will: You don't know anything about if he visited or if he just kinda stayed away from it all, didn't-- - I, I don't know any of that.

- Okay.

- But I do know that it's still a touchy subject with a lot of family members.

Um, and maybe that's why so little information was passed down about it.

Will: Okay.

Lise: After having lost two children, Clara was committed to the Utah State Mental Hospital in 1907, released, and then committed for life in 1918.

In Clara's day, experts knew very little about the causes of mental illness and often attributed it to bodily injury or infection.

Treatment methods were limited to removing the person from society and attempting to rehabilitate them through structured work programs and hydrotherapy, a treatment which involved placing the patients in hot or cold water in an attempt to help control their emotions.

♪♪ Will wants to know what happened to Martin and Clara's relationship after Clara was committed.

So, Will has ordered and received the records of Clara's stay at the mental hospital.

He's taking the records to the Utah State Hospital historic museum where he has arranged to meet with hospital historian Janina Chilton.

Janina: So, Clara came here in 1907.

I did read a little bit about your grandmother's case, and, um, your grandmother, I understand, um, had a manic depressive illness.

Will: So, manic depression is what great-grandma Clara had?

[somber music] ♪♪ Janina: The family did-- She did go home in 1907, and then they struggled with it it looked like for a number of years.

And then, when she was recommitted in 1918 and stayed here for, for a long, long period of time, um, it, it looked like she, if she had been ill today, would have not stayed here for any length of time.

Uh, but there no options once, you know, she-- her husband divorced her, there was no place for her to go.

Will: So, um, that actually-- they were, they got divorced?

Janina: Yes, yeah, they did get divorced.

♪♪ Will: Wow, I didn't know that they were divorced.

I didn't know that that had happened.

So, I’m just trying to understand what the attitude was that people had towards mental illness at this time.

Janina: Well, mental illness was very frightening to people.

And her husband really felt like-- that she was better here.

That she did better.

- Maybe Grandpa just needed to, for his sake, and for the sake of his kids, move on.

- Exactly.

- And since, the, the-- putting the glasses on of that era, it seemed like that was the best choice because there weren't, there weren't things to help manic depression quite yet.

Janina: Interestingly enough, we do have a, a copy of a few letters that she had written.

They're not many, but I think they'll give you a bit of a voice of, of-- Will: Oh wow.

Helen: --of her, you know, of sort of how she felt here.

They're later in her stay, because they're from-- Both: 1940.

Helen: --so she'd been here a really long time.

But I think they'll give you at least a flavor for, you know, for her, how she was feeling.

Will: She wrote this to Great-grandpa.

She wrote this to Martin.

Wow.

Janina: And this would have been, looks like by the date, probably after they were divorced.

- They were still communicating.

At least she was-- - They were still communicating.

- --talking to him.

And she still wrote him a letter and addressed him as "dearest husband."

Helen: Sometimes people didn't accept, you know, having families' lives move on and yours not moving on, so.

Will: Definitely.

♪♪ This letter so far, it's really difficult to read.

It's sad.

I know she was lonely.

Every time she mentioned somebody came to visit, she is thrilled.

She, she made a scarf for somebody and sent it to 'em all excited to hear back, and in this letter, it talks about how she has not heard back from this person.

And how she hasn't received a visit.

And how it's, it's really hard for her.

I don't think I have the answer yet.

But I have a lot to think about because I... I’m sure that him being home for her could have helped.

If anything, it could have helped.

Now I have to think about seriously, how much time, the kind of job I’d like to have would take me from my family.

♪♪ I think that I’ve made great headway into figuring out things.

But I don't know yet.

I mean, I’ve seen one example of one family and I just want to know more, see if there's another example I can learn from.

Maybe with different results.

♪♪ Lise: Will is looking at a McAllister pedigree posted online.

He's making a list of paternal ancestors and their occupations to decide who to look at next.

Will: He was a territorial marshal.

William, let’s see what he did.

He was a blacksmith for ships.

That's cool.

Jeremiah, he was a blacksmith at a tobacco warehouse or whatever that means.

And Patrick McAllister, he's the first man from Scotland.

He was a tobacco planter.

That's as far back as it goes?

No, no, yeah that's it.

Doesn't go back any more.

Lise: Will has discovered a long line of McAllisters and occupations going back to the 1700s when Patrick McAllister, his seventh great-grandfather, immigrated from Scotland to Maryland.

Will: I wanna know about Patrick McAllister because migrating from one country to another, I mean, that's monumental, that's big.

That's a huge change in our history.

That's a big shift in our story.

That's a whole new chapter.

And that's why I wanna learn about this, this man.

Because he started a whole new chapter of a Mc-- of McAllister history.

♪♪ I am not embarrassed.

I'm not embarrassed of who I am, this is where I sleep.

This is how I live.

And it's hard to be totally clean when three guys are living in a dining room of a house that isn't equipped with proper places to store clothes.

So, you know, we do our best.

Should I bring this?

It's my superhero costume from when I was in a play.

I had a mental illness and, uh, I was from the same planet as Superman was, but blue and red was already taken, so I was stuck with this color.

Lise: Will's seventh great-grandfather, Patrick, immigrated from Scotland to Maryland around 1692 when he was about 16 years old.

When he arrived, the British colony of Maryland was thriving, with a strong economy based on the growing and exporting of tobacco.

Much of the rural colony’s population consisted of convicts and indentured servants who worked in the tobacco fields to earn their freedom.

♪♪ To learn about Patrick's life in Maryland, Will is visiting the Maryland State Archives in search of documents about his ancestor.

♪♪ Will has found three documents in the archive that mention his ancestor and has requested to view the originals.

- Oh, hello, Will, here are the documents that you requested.

This is the document from the 1600s.

- Wow.

Lise: The document is a court record, which states that Patrick McAllister was an indentured servant to a man named David Brown.

Indentured servants were immigrants who, unable to pay the voyage to America, entered a legal contract to work a set number of years without pay for a master who covered the price of their voyage.

Man 2: And, in fact, the document in which his indenture is released is housed here.

- Whoa, that's a big book.

- Again, these are the original records as they existed.

Will: Incredible.

Man 2: This is the will of David Brown in which he releases Patrick from indenture.

Patrick is free to pursue his own life, with the trade that he learned, while he was, uh, in indenture to, uh, to David Brown.

But the final aspect of this is he becomes a free man, and he, in fact, purchases land.

He purchased this land in 1714.

And when you think about it, you know, that's closing in on 300 years ago.

- Wow.

Man 2: Yeah, there's no one between you and Patrick except this page.

It’s, it's unmediated history.

- That is so cool.

I mean, he was there as they were filling this out.

He was standing there watching them do it, probably feeling all kinds of mixed emotions as he was about to own his own land.

And it was the present day for him when this was happening.

- Absolutely.

Now for a fuller, uh, explanation of, of what you have here, uh, I'm gonna suggest that you speak to Henry Miller in St. Mary’s City, and I think you'll find out more, uh, from him than you might just from reading these records.

Because there's a context to them.

Will: Thank you.

Man 2: My pleasure.

Lise: Will has learned that Patrick McAllister's indenture required him to work as a servant of David Brown for about six years.

He was freed in 1698 and bought his own land in 1714.

♪♪ Will is following the archivist’s lead and traveling to historic St. Mary's to meet with Henry Miller.

St. Mary’s City was founded in 1634 and is one of the oldest settlements in Maryland.

Today, the community is a living museum where visitors can experience re-creations of early colonial life.

♪♪ Will: Look at that thing!

I have always, ever since you could get LEGO pirate boats, I’ve always loved period ships.

Golly, that's so cool.

[water lapping] Excuse me, I’m looking for Henry Miller.

Man 3: Ah, that's great, he's right in here.

Will: Hi, Mr. Miller, I’m Will.

- Well hi, Will, nice to meet you.

Will: Pleased to meet you.

- Welcome to St. Mary’s City.

- Thanks.

- Yeah, very good.

- I, uh, I was just at the archives and Michael there said you were the man to see.

- Well, happy to help, to help you out.

It's an interesting story I think you have, so.

- Oh, cool, I don't know anything about it, so... - Well, let's, let's head on over here, you're just-- you're on the St. Marys River-- - Okay.

- --which is a part of the Chesapeake Bay, and your ancestor would have known the Chesapeake Bay very well, I think.

This is where the first colonists in 1634, uh, landed.

And, and Maryland was a very special colony.

It was the first one that offered the idea of religious freedom to all of its settlers.

And this is, uh, the ships, of course, that they brought 'em in.

This is a replica of a 17th century vessel.

Something like what, you know, most of the colonists would have come here in.

Will: Th-that crossed all the way across-- - Something like that could've crossed the Atlantic.

- --from Europe.

- Isn't that amazing?

But servants basically, they paid their passage by working for four, six, eight years, depending on how long.

- So, basically, them getting here was paid for by somebody, and then they worked for them to pay it off.

- Exactly.

- Oh, okay.

- And then they, of course, they were given food and shelter and clothing over that period of years.

But their labor was owned by their master.

So, they had basically to do what he told him to do.

- They had a master.

- Right, and your-- his master was Colonel David Brown.

So, it could be that he was maybe a second or third son and would never inherit anything.

Or maybe he was an orphan.

We just don't know that.

But clearly, he did not have a lot of opportunity to make a better life for himself in Scotland, which is one of the reasons that people came here.

They wanted a chance.

Both: To make a better life.

Henry: And we even have here with us the mate for this lovely vessel.

Joe.

Will: I briefly talked to you.

Nice to meet you.

Joe: Good day.

- [laughs] Joe: So, we're coming into, this is the cargo hold where everything'd been put.

And then up forward here, this is the sailor's quarters, um, this is where the younger sailors would live.

And, uh, if your ancestor were coming on a ship this size, this probably where he would have been quartered.

As a sailor, you just get used to ducking a lot.

- You just get used to being bent over.

Joe: Yeah.

Will: Where did their waste go?

You know, people have to go the bathroom.

Joe: Yup, well, on this, uh, for sailors, the, uh, the bathroom is in the fore part of the ship.

There's triangular platform up front called the beaks head, and on a small vessel, everyone would use that.

On a larger vessel, the colonists would probably have buckets that would be taken up and emptied over the side whenever possible.

Will: How long of a trip was it, I mean?

Joe: Um, that's a really good question.

I wish there was a really good answer.

The best I can do is that it probably wouldn't take you anything less than about a month, but it could take longer.

Will: Golly.

Lise: After traveling weeks or months at sea, indentured servants such as Patrick were often sick and malnourished by the time they reached the colonies.

But they were forced to stay on the docked ship until they were purchased by a master.

Prospective buyers like David Brown would visit the ship to inspect the human merchandise, looking for the strongest and most skilled servants.

Meanwhile, each day living in the unsanitary conditions of the ship’s hold worsened their physical condition, motivating immigrants like Patrick to sell themselves prematurely without examining the sometimes disadvantageous terms of their contracts.

After selling themselves to pay off the price of their voyage, the new servants were introduced to the plantation where they would work for the next five to seven years of their lives.

Joe: Okay, Will, here we are at a place that's called the plantation.

Will: Ah.

Henry: And it's sort of like our little time machine because it's as authentic as we could make it based on archaeology and history.

Will: Well, I appreciate this.

I mean, 'cause I-- that's one thing that was my main intent coming here.

I really wanted to be able to walk in Patrick's shoes.

Henry: Yeah, well, I think we should let that happen, then, in a way exactly as you stated.

We have right here a 17th-century colonist.

Will, I have-- - Oh, good day.

Henry: --a newly arrived indentured servant eager for work.

Would you imagine taking him on?

- Uh, well, I-I-I suppose we can, uh, although it looks like you had a awful long voyage.

You have no manners.

Before you meet the mistress, you better learn how to bow proper.

I mean, you're not a gentleman, obviously, because you're here.

- [laughs] - So, um, put your feet, uh-- do you know what your best foot is?

- I have no idea.

- Oh, that's unfortunate, they're your feet.

I'd just say whichever shoe looks better.

And, uh, so, I’ll use my left one since it's got that nice piece of red there.

You put your foot forward.

If you have a hat, you would take it off.

If you do not, just do a flourish with your hand, put the other opposite hand behind your back, bow at the waist, and you would say good day at the same time.

- Good day.

- Oh, there you go, all right.

That will save you a beating from the mistress.

- I appreciate that.

- All right, so, let's go get your hat please.

This way.

Will: I’m an indentured servant.

- You're an indentured servant now.

[thudding] Woman 2: Oh, William [indistinct].

- Good day, Mistress.

Uh, this is, uh, Will, he's the new indentured servant.

- Good day, Mistress.

Sorry.

Mistress: Oh, very well.

He's remembered his courtesies quite well, like we say.

- That he has.

Mistress: And as new indentured servant.

Well, I’m pounding corn.

- Oh.

[laughs] Mistress: And, of course, you must do this also, you know.

Almost four to seven hours per day we must pound the corn, so that way you can have some fine flour in order to make breads and cakes with.

All you do is take hold of that, lift it up, pound.

You can use both hands, you don't look like you have much strength in your arms.

Man 4: Put your book down, no need for those anymore.

- So, and of course, now, what you do is put the corn in like this, and then pound away, and you'll do quite well.

Will: Woo!

- There you go, you can hold that with your other hand.

- Well, thank you.

- Quite well.

I'll go get those clothing.

Will: Seven hours a day?

Mistress: Ah, well, I have these clothing here, here's a hat for you.

- Well, thank you.

- Oh, very well.

- He does need that.

- Of course, there you go.

- Can't have someone just walking around in a shirt.

Mistress: So now, I-I should show you where you'll be staying, then, and you'll be sleeping.

Will, come this way.

Uh, you'll be sleeping above stairs.

Of course, uh, you won't be comin' up this way, this is where the women go up.

Will: Oh yeah, I couldn't go up the same way as them.

[thudding] Mistress: And, of course, uh, this is where you'll be sleepin', on this side.

Will: Mm, looks comfortable.

- Ah, well, go ahead, test it out.

Will: All right.

- Lie down.

Will: [groaning] Ahh.

[laughs] It's, it's really nice.

It's a perfect, perfect fit for me.

Mistress: All right, but of course you'll be sharing that with two others.

Will: Oh.

[rooster crows] Man 4: What you want to do, is with your hoe, you're just gonna break up the soil.

Right, see how I just kind of let it drop down like that?

And then, I start pulling the dirt up into the hill, walking in a circle, that way the hill is even.

You see how I’ve done that?

- Yeah.

- All right, this hill is quite small.

So why don't you try and make that one bigger, please?

Will: I will do it.

Okay, here we go.

I got this.

[thud] [laughs] That was pathetic.

[soft scraping] - Now, we typically like to get about 1,000 hills per an acre.

Will: That's a lotta hills.

This isn't as easy as it looks, that's all I’m gonna say.

- Oh no, it's not.

You're, you're gonna be responsible for three acres of tobacco.

- 3,000 hills?

- 3,000 hills.

Will: [laughs] Man 4: Now, it's better if you go in one circle instead of dancing around it.

You know, this is not a woman, it's a pile of dirt.

Will: No dance.

You got it.

- Now, it's going to get worse.

Because after your hills are done, and we got the tobacco transplanted into these hills-- Will: Uh-huh.

- --every day, the men are expected to go out and search every plant, every leaf, for horned worms.

- Every single leaf?

- Every leaf of every plant every day.

And you have to pull them off and crush them with your hands.

And Master Spray will inspect your field once you've got it done.

And for every time he finds a worm, he will not kill it, he will put it in his bag and keep it.

And after he is done inspecting that whole field, he will find you, sit you down, and make you bite the head off of every single worm he's found until you've learned not to miss any worms.

Will: That's a lot for one day’s work.

Man 4: Well, you've got all day, I mean, the sun rises, the sun sets, and in between, you work.

Will: [laughing] Okay.

[panting] So, this is like-- I've done, like, three of these, and I’m already pretty tired.

Man 4: You're already tired after three?

Will: That means I’ve got, what, 997 to go?

Man 4: Something like that.

Will: I can't even imagine doing that every day for five and a half years.

They were hard workers.

Just like my grandpa, my Great-grandpa Martin was a hard worker, there're all these hard workers.

It's kind of intimidating.

I don't think Patrick McAllister had the choices before him like I have of what to do.

So, maybe career-wise, he didn't really have much of choice.

But his dream wasn't so much any career he wanted, but his dream was to have something for his family.

You know, I was really hoping that this journey would, uh, give me a really clear answer.

[laughs] But all I’m finding is by studying about Martin and then his wife, Clara, and what happened to their family, and then by studying about Patrick and learning about him, I’m finding that all it is is making things more complicated.

So yeah, I-I need to look into more things.

I can't just leave it at this and make a decision.

At this point, I can't say that I, I have an answer to that question in mind as to whether or not I should follow my dream or choose something more practical for my family.

♪♪ Lise: Will is back in Utah and is reviewing his list of ancestors and occupations to decide who to learn about next.

He sees that after Patrick, the McAllisters worked in tobacco or blacksmithing for four generations.

But the fifth generation, John D. T. McAllister, deviated from the family tradition and became a territorial marshal.

Because of this, Will decides to learn more about him.

Will has arranged to meet with Generations Project researcher, Rob Burt.

Will: I've been doing some, I’ve been learning about some of my ancestors, and I, you know, I’ve been-- it's just made me more confused.

Rob: All right, well, let's take a look.

Um, there are a couple of interesting things that we've learned about your family history.

John D. T. McAllister, I notice that you only have him listed as a territorial marshal.

- Yeah, that's all I could find, is there more?

- There, there is more.

And we have found some stuff.

Will: Okay.

Rob: In 1852, he arrived in Salt Lake City and started as a, as a blacksmith, but he quickly developed different skills.

By 1863, he was so well-thought-of in the community that the territorial legislature actually elected him the territorial marshal of the-- of Utah.

In the 1870s, he also became the fire chief-- Will: Whoa.

Rob: --of Salt Lake City.

And this is an actual picture of him-- Will: That's awesome, look at it.

- --at his fire company.

This is, this is actually only half the story of John D.T.

He, in 1852, when he arrived in Salt Lake City, he joined what was called Captain Demilico's Brass Band.

Will: Oh, wow.

Rob: And actually-- Will: Music.

Rob: --would perform, and that same month, he also became involved with Deseret Dramatic Association.

- Wow, cool.

- John D. T. loved to act.

- That's awesome.

'Cause, see, I’ve always felt like I’m the, the one that sort of stands out from family in that area.

I mean, that n-nobody has pursued acting like me.

- Well, I can guarantee that John D. T. did.

Will: Oh, it makes me so happy.

[laughs] Rob: He, in fact, in the period of three months, he has all of these different parts and plays that he's acting in.

- I am amazed that he could do all of this and still take care of his family.

That is a little-- I still wanna know how he did it.

Rob: We actually, we actually have sort of a way to do that.

Um, John D. T. is a very famous early member of the state of Utah.

And his diaries are actually here, in, in the state, so... - Really?

- Yes.

So, they are available to be able to go, go and take a look at, to read and to kinda get to know who he was a little bit more as a man.

- Oh, that would be perfect.

I, uh, man... All my ancestors wrote diaries.

[laughs] ♪♪ I can't believe that he was an actor.

When he said that he not only enjoyed the theater but he participated in it, that was like a major relief for me.

It was like someone in history, someone in time understood me.

And I’m excited to see his diaries because I wanna know what he-- I wanna know what life was like for him.

It sounded like he had a lot on his plate.

He was doin' a lotta things.

And I just wanna know how someone can do that.

♪♪ - The first thing you wanna do is to just to type in his name here-- - Okay.

- --and see what we can find.

Will: Let's see if that does anything.

Uh-huh.

- Okay, have fun.

Both: [chuckle] - Thank you.

Uhh, let's start with a small one.

[rustling] [quietly] Wow.

[chuckles] [footsteps] This guy was extremely diligent at keeping up with his journal.

- 36, 37, 38, 39, 40.

40 journals.

This is from 1851.

I mean, look at that.

Just his handwriting here, the way he wrote his name out, it's, it's beautiful.

"A record of me and mine.

"When I was a year old, "my parents took me to the city of Philadelphia, "and at the age of eight years, I was put to work at a printing office."

Wow, so he started work when he was eight.

Eight years old.

I was still playing with G.I.

Joes when I was eight years old.

I was still playing with G.I.

Joes when I was, like, 20.

Um, at this period of his life, he, he joined a band; he got involved with a bunch of plays.

He had his job working with the-- working in the public works.

Uh, he had a son.

And what makes this extra special for me is he was my age.

And he was doing all these things.

And I can see him just love being in a band and he must have loved being on the stage.

And he was doing things he was passionate about and he was, he was having a family, which is something that must have been special to him as well.

I had no idea that he left such a legacy and that he had those passions that he pursued in music and art and acting.

I mean, it just makes me really happy.

I'm really happy.

And at the same time, I’m really-- I, I feel just a special closeness to him right now.

So, he loved his family, but he had to work hard, um, in order to follow his dreams, he had work hard.

Like, it wasn't easy, but he could still do it.

Lise: In addition to being a territory marshal, city marshal, printer, blacksmith, carpenter, fire chief, factory owner, actor, band member, and family man, John D. T. McAllister was also a singer.

In fact, he sang as a soloist during the early years of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, which has grown into a world-class singing ensemble.

[indistinct chatter] Will is sitting in on the choir's practice session in the historic Salt Lake Tabernacle.

The choir is singing Do What Is Right, one of the songs John D. T. mentions singing frequently in his journal.

Man 5: One, two, and-- - ♪ Do what is right; ♪ ♪ the day-dawn is breaking ♪ ♪ Hailing a future of freedom and light ♪ ♪ Angels above us are silent notes taking ♪ ♪ Of ev’ry action; then do what is right ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ - To hear a song that I know he had sung because I read it in his journals, that was cool because I visualized him there.

I think I have an answer.

Do you wanna hear it?

Can I read it to you?

'Kay, 'kay here we go.

This is what I wrote.

"I'm a dreamer.

"I always have been, and always will be.

"But a big part of my dream "is to be in love, to get married, "and to have a family.

"I am a dreamer, "and I want my family to be a part of that dream.

"Being a famous actor or a famous film director, "well, not even famous, "but being a successful actor would mean nothing to me "without my family there.

"I'll still follow my lesser dreams, "but I realize that that's what they are to me.

Lesser dreams."

I think that it's important that I follow my dreams because me doing something I love will be an example to my, my kids that I will have, and they'll see that-- they'll see that I’m happy and that I’m pursuing what I wanna pursue.

And then they'll believe that they can pursue what they wanna pursue and that they can fulfill their dreams.

And which-- what parent doesn't want their kids to be happy and doesn't want them to have their dreams come true?

And that's something I’ve learned from this as well.

And so, as long as I have them first, I’m gonna-- I’m gonna go for the gold, gonna follow my dreams.

♪♪ - Will, I happen to know the first time you watched this episode was a profound experience for you.

Will: Mm-hm.

- Can you share some of that with our audience?

Will: It was just, it was amazing to, to see what they were able to put together.

It all-- I-I stood back and I almost forgot that I was watching myself, and it was like I was watching a different movie or something.

The character on there, which really is me, um, inspired me.

Lise: [gasps] Will: I know it's interesting to say that.

But it was weird.

But he, who is me, inspired me to, to really want to go out.

And, and it reaffirmed that decision I had made to follow my dreams.

And it helped me realize that, yeah, following my dreams will be not just something for me, but it'll more importantly be a blessing to my family.

Lise: I love that, and I think you're absolutely right.

If you had had to pick one or the other, what would you have picked?

Will: Family, no doubt about that.

I-- Lise: I kind of had a feeling you'd say that.

- I, I mean, as long as I have a happy family life, I could even-- I could even do the worst, most miserable job in the world and it would be hard, but at least I’d have a family that I love to go home to.

And I could have the most successful career in whatever, and coming home to nobody would be... it wouldn't be worth it at all.

- Were you always a journal writer?

Will: Uh, kinda.

My mom tried to get me into it.

When I turned eight, she gave me a journal for my birthday.

And I was diligent... Lise: [laughing] At eight.

- ...for-- at eight, for a couple of years.

But my journal entries were, went to my friend's house today, I had fun.

Lise: [laughs] - The next day, played at my friend's.

It was fun.

Lise: Well, I imagine looking at your ancestors’ journals-- and weren't you lucky to have them-- changed the way you wrote in your journal.

Will: Absolutely.

It was strange, but I, uh, before, writing in a journal was sort of a way for me to remember my day.

Because I don't have the best memory, Lise.

Lise: [laughs] - And so, to-- I thought, okay, I wanna write in my journal so when I’m 50, I can remember what I was doing when I was 20.

But now that I’ve had this experience, it's transformed so it's not even something for me anymore, it's something for my, my, uh, my family line, my future family and then their kids and their kids t-to read, and it's actually affected the-- what I write about and what I think about when I’m writing.

And even, uh, I even try to write with better handwriting so it's not so hard for them to read it.

Like, I’m thinking about them, I have them in mind.

And it actually makes journal writing more-- it makes it easier.

'Cause sometimes it's hard to sit down and do it.

But when I think it's not for me, it's for somebody else, it makes it-- it makes it even easier to sit down and write.

Lise: Um, Will, I know that you now plan to go for the gold.

And you've made some changes in your life accordingly.

Tell me about that.

Will: Well, since this episode, I’ve decided to, this summer, not do any sort of practical job.

You know, I didn't grab any kind of summer job where I knew I would make a lot of money.

Instead, I've tried to do things that go along the lines of my passions and see if it’s-- see if it’s something I really like doing, and see if I can even feed myself doing it.

Lise: How's it going so far?

Will: Really good.

I'm-- well, really good as in I’m having a blast.

I'm not making lots of money, but I’m doing, I'm doing puppet shows all across the state of Utah where I live.

Lise: Fantastic.

- And I’m doing, uh, I’m in a play that I’m actually getting paid for-- - Congratulations.

- --for the first time ever.

- Congratulations.

- So, that's been great.

So, I-I’m... I’m still alive, I haven't, I haven't starved to death, and it's-- and it really has been, uh, a summer of creative expression.

It's been great.

Lise: I know that you have to get out of here because, in fact, you have a show this afternoon-- Will: I know.

- --and you have to catch a flight.

We love hearing-- Will: Isn't that crazy?

- --it's wonderful.

Thank you so much, Will McAllister the dreamer, for hanging on to your dreams and sharing them with us.

Thank you for watching.

And if you want to become a part of our Generations family, and we hope you do, please visit us at byutv.org and let us know if you're keeping a journal for future generations.

I am Lise Simms, and I will see you on the next Generations Project.

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪