[Music] Tonight on 7 Central.

[Music] The organist has AIDS, a fact he no longer keeps secret.

After this, there's going to be no need to hide anything.

[Music] I guess this is my way of coming out of the closet again.

[Music] Good evening, I'm Dave Iverson.

Welcome to 7 Central.

About a year ago, producer Carol Larson did a story on AIDS.

In it, she profiled a young man who didn't want his identity revealed because of the discrimination AIDS patients often receive.

And so we brought the videotape from that interview into this edit suite and altered it electronically.

Tonight's program is about that same individual, but about his decision to step beyond that electronic mask to put a human face on AIDS.

Tonight's 7 Central, coming out about AIDS.

Produced and reported by Carol Larson.

[Music] Where did we leave off?

In the last year since you and I met, I've lost about six very close friends and probably about six acquaintances.

And that's just my little circle.

That doesn't count all the others that we've seen come and go from the MAP project.

[Phone ringing] Wisconsin AIDS Hotline, may I help you?

Every 24 minutes, someone in the United States dies of AIDS.

Every 16 minutes, a new case is reported.

Can you hang on just one second, man?

Wisconsin AIDS Hotline, may I help you?

Most people with AIDS live and die anonymously.

Such is the stigma, the fear of AIDS.

No, all of these ways that you've been talking about are not means of transmission.

Which is what makes Jerry Smith extraordinary.

Jerry Smith has volunteered his face and his story to represent others, to put a human face on empty headlines and a human perspective on the growing body count.

When it was happening so many so fast, it was--you know, that's what was hard.

Last summer in a three-month period, I lost four friends.

And, you know, I just decided that somebody's got to start speaking up.

[Music] Jerry Smith is gay and has AIDS, which is all some people care to hear.

Such is society's tendency to blame the victim for the disease.

I'm still me.

I'm a human being.

I'm not a freak.

Heaven knows those of us that have it have a lot to deal with and all the bigotry and prejudice, discrimination that's being thrown at us.

And it's not just a gay issue anymore.

It's a human rights issue.

It's a human disease.

It's not a gay disease.

Jerry Smith's story is not just gay with AIDS.

Jerry Smith is also a professional organist.

He holds a master's degree in music.

He is a former teacher and a performer who has played everywhere from pizza parlors to dance halls to cathedrals.

Today, he is still a church organist and choir director, though even part-time work takes its toll.

We'll give it one more try, and then we'll go on to the next one.

[Music] Jerry Smith fights the disease as he fights the discrimination by facing it, reminding others that the odds are they, too, will face AIDS someday.

Within the next couple of years, everybody will know somebody who's infected with the virus.

And to put it bluntly, they're going to just have to learn how to put up with it because it's just another fact of society.

Jerry Smith's message is to look at his face and understand, to learn the facts before the next person coming out about AIDS turns out to be a friend, colleague, or loved one.

First of all, it's better they find out for me and not from somebody else, but I was very careful in the way I did it, and I was very choosy.

Who knew at first?

But after this, everybody's going to know.

This program is, in fact, part of Jerry's coming-out process, and coming out is a process, one that started with telling those closest to him and moving outward.

When Jerry Smith found out he had the AIDS virus, he was working out of state.

He wrote a letter to his mother.

I wasn't shocked, and yet it was something I didn't want to hear, of course.

He didn't want me to tell anybody, and I had to carry it within myself until he was ready to tell himself.

Mary had known for years that Jerry was gay, but AIDS is a painful secret to keep.

My blood pressure went up terribly, and I had ordinary low blood pressure.

Did you talk to the rest of your family about it, your other kids?

I waited for him.

He told me it was his place to do it, and he didn't want to put that burden on me.

How's their reaction been?

My younger brother has disowned the family over it, and my two sisters have been great.

[Music] His brother's reaction was severe, but little could match Jerry's own fear of the disease.

He saw his friends wasting away and felt his own health weakening.

And after I found out, I thought I didn't want that to happen to me.

I didn't want to get the wasting syndrome.

I didn't want to come down with chaos or pneumonia or something, land in the hospital wired up for lights and sound.

And at the time, I did try taking my life.

I just didn't want to deal with it.

You tried to commit suicide.

Yeah.

[Music] It's right here.

These last two pictures here.

This is where it finally hit home.

Because of the medical equipment?

The medical equipment.

That's scary.

That scares me.

It's almost like raping the human body.

These are the faces usually associated with AIDS, but these are the faces of the dying, the subject of an exhibit at the Milwaukee Art Center.

The first time I came here, I didn't come alone.

And I recommend to my friends who know of AIDS, I've seen it, not to come alone.

I've seen all this happen to my friends already.

And I don't know if it's what I have to look forward to or not.

I've seen all these people, and you see pictures here of men with their children, mothers with their daughters.

Am I going to stay this close, or is my family going to reject me in the end?

So it leaves you with a lot of questions.

Faces hold a reality, an understanding that news headlines and medical reports cannot convey.

I would have liked to have seen a bigger display.

I think it should have shown more.

I think it would have been a bigger impact than just these few people.

Because I think right now, especially here in Milwaukee, but I think all over, they need a lot of shaking up.

We've got to take society by the shoulders and just shake them.

Hey, it's here.

It's affecting everybody, not just gay, white, middle-class American males.

These are faces Jerry Smith understands.

Now he is doing whatever he can to prevent becoming one of them.

That includes taking the experimental drug DDI to build up his damaged immune system.

After a while, you just get sick and tired of being sick and tired.

So you just plug along and pop more drugs and do what the doctor tells you for a while.

[Music] I have bounced back, and if I can keep bouncing back like that, it's worth living.

But a time might come.

Might.

[Music] This is how old?

Five, six, something like that, five or six years old.

No, it had to be earlier than that.

That must be four or five.

Such innocence.

Music and the support of most of his family have helped sustain Jerry Smith for the last four years.

More recently, he has also had the help of his buddy, Barbara.

Look at that.

Sideburns.

He came back once, he had a beard, a big beard.

It looked like a bushel of hair.

Barbara is technically an emotional support volunteer working with the Milwaukee AIDS Project, but she has become a friend and confidante.

He has ups and downs, but we all do, I guess.

But I think the main thing is that, yes, he's decided that he wants to fight this thing rather than give in to it.

So, I say, "Yay."

Right on.

Jerry's battles over most of the last four years have been private, a personal fight.

He, like others, stayed in the AIDS closet.

A lot of people say they have other problems.

It's real easy to say cancer.

So, you can use the word cancer and that'd be fine.

But if you use the word AIDS, people back off.

[Music] Jerry Smith does not want people to back away, nor does he want to hide.

Whether playing in church or at a Pops concert, he is a public person, a performer.

So, Jerry Smith decided to tell people, friends, employers, the world.

A recent hospital stay when he lost 16 pounds to fever brought the idea home.

It left me very weak and it was about that time that I decided, you know, I was going to try fighting.

And the only way I know how to fight is usually with my loud mouth.

He said, "People need to know about this."

And he says, "If it's up to me," he said, "I'll do it."

He says, "I'll do all I can," he said, "to make people realize what this is all about."

[Music] I guess that's kind of the daring part of me.

Like trying all these new drugs, you know, it's daring.

It could be dangerous, too.

But, again, what do I got to lose?

But Jerry did know exactly what he had to lose.

He had already lost his brother and a job.

Jerry's last job was terminated when they found out that he was ill. And he was very hurt by that.

And now he has another job in a church.

And it was a risk that he was taking, a big risk.

I don't know at this stage of the game, you know, or at any stage of the game, if I would, you know, go as far on a limb as he puts himself.

Ken and Terry are Jerry's housemates.

They also have AIDS.

The way I look at it is Jerry's like a pioneer in the educational field of AIDS.

It makes me feel good to see him doing this stuff just so that it opens up the doors and allows people to learn about it, that they're-- you're not going to get it by touching me or hugging me or giving me a kiss.

Jerry lives at one of two privately funded homes for AIDS patients in Milwaukee.

Of six roommates, only Jerry is out.

The others fear not only for themselves but for their families.

That's a big fear of mine because I don't feel that my family should be shown prejudice for something that's happening to me.

Because of the stigmatism that comes with having AIDS, there's a lot of repercussions.

What do you think about him going public?

I think it was wonderful.

I think that's the greatest thing in the world.

It has taken an awful lot of courage for him to do that, I know.

It was a chance that I took, and it was very chancy, and there was no backlash.

It was very well received.

Everybody accepted it.

I'm still music director at the church, and nobody's afraid to come around me or be near me or anything else.

The reaction I was hoping for, and I got it.

[music] St. Joseph's Hospital, and the doctor was pumping-- So far, so good, but coming out and admitting he had AIDS was not an end in itself.

It was the beginning of a new public life.

A lot of people are having trouble with insurance.

They're having trouble getting it, and they're having trouble keeping it.

Jerry Smith has become a public face, an activist for colleagues like Chuck and Ben, who remain anonymous.

Basically, what the bill says is that these doctors, these nurses, health care givers, hospitals, nursing homes, insurance companies want to discriminate.

They're not going to get their hands slapped.

They're not going to get fined.

They're going to just have their licenses pulled, and they won't be able to practice in this state.

This year, Jerry helped found a coalition called People Living With AIDS, which supported and helped win an AIDS anti-discrimination law for Wisconsin.

Kind of lit a fire under everybody.

I didn't know that, hey, this is my life that we're playing with, you know, and however much of it is left, I'm going to try making it the best I possibly can, and nobody's going to stand in my way.

Being out means Jerry can do more, and he tries.

Director of the Milwaukee AIDS Project, Doug Nelson.

Someone who is willing to come out with this disease at this point in time is contributing immensely to the education of the public, and that contribution is really immeasurable in terms of the progress that we can make with AIDS over the next several years.

Through Jerry, people see the face of AIDS and hopefully understand that the face of AIDS is changing.

As every year goes by, more and more people are going to live longer and longer, and when you recognize that, you say, okay, then our mission must be to enhance the quality of life for people who have the disease and continue to live.

And so that means that more and more Jerrys are going to be coming out, and they are going to be demanding that quality of life that they're entitled to.

He's expressing his feelings.

He's expressing his ideas, and his ideas and his fears and his feelings are basically what we all feel.

I hear praise for him for that reason, and I guess a little jealousy because I haven't reached that point yet.

Jerry is active advocate for people with AIDS and has participated in numerous new drug therapies and experiments.

Tonight he performs for us on the Kauai SR7.

[music] Every public occasion has now become a challenge to Jerry and to his audience.

Now they must face him and accept the fact that the organist has AIDS.

[music] I like to hit things head on and say my piece, say it the way I have to.

If it offends that person, that's their problem, not mine.

[music] But there's no guarantee how people will react to AIDS, especially old friends and fellow organists like these, the Brew City musicians.

Jerry founded this club 10 years ago.

For this concert on the city's conservative south side, they became his toughest audience yet.

[music] It was a little hard at first, but I just did things as they naturally came and just tried to be my usual old self that everybody has known for the last 10 years.

He plays pretty good.

He was my teacher.

Your teacher?

Yeah.

He taught me how to play.

[music] I told him right out, though I disagree with his style of living, I cannot--I don't think there's anybody that can tell you what you can do.

So you stayed friends?

Right.

I mean, so you have to accept people as they are.

[music] My husband and I talked about it and said, "We like Jerry for the person he is.

What more is there to say?"

[music] The people that showed up here tonight, I'm sure they all know about Jerry, or 99% of them do.

And they came to listen to him play.

I'm sure they did.

I came to listen to Jerry play.

[music] And it sure looks like Jerry is holding on.

I don't think anything is going to happen to him.

I really do.

I think we all get strong behind us and pray to the good Lord upstairs.

Maybe he might even make this thing through.

We hope that it could happen that way.

[music] I would like to wish Jerry really the best.

I know he's working hard and I hope to see him again.

And I will be inviting him out to my place any time that he wants to come out and try a organ.

[music] The concert was a testimony to face-to-face contact.

With the exception of one man who would not shake hands, Jerry felt his message was understood.

I want them to know that they don't have to be afraid.

They shouldn't be afraid to reach out and help or touch someone who has it.

[music] I don't think that society could have handled something like this two or three years ago.

But now it has to be done.

Jerry Smith came out about AIDS because he felt it had to be done for himself, for his friends, for the tens of thousands who have died in anonymity and the hundreds of thousands who will live with AIDS in the future.

I want them to know that it's here.

We've got to deal with it to the best of our abilities.

Jerry Smith is doing what he is able to do-- give a public face to AIDS.

I'm not trying to stand up and say, "Hey, world, I'm dying."

No, hey, world, I got it.

I'm living.

[music]