- My name's Jake, and when I was a teenager, I bought a used accordion at a thrift shop.

It changed my life forever.

Today, making music with "The Chardon Polka Band" is my job.

There's Mike, Mitch, two Bobs, and a Brian.

You never know what's gonna happen next, you never know who you might run into because this is "The World According to Polka."

(light upbeat polka music) (twangy music) (bird squawks) (twangy music continues) (dirt crunches) (twangy music continues) (Jake spits) Now you just might find yourself wondering, where are we today on our polka show?

Well, we're deep in the heart of Texas for a juggernaut of a festival called the Wurstfest.

Specifically, this event is just outside San Antonio in New Braunfels, a town known for its German heritage.

So saddle up, folks.

We've got so much to unpack that we're gonna be spending two episodes down here in Texas at the Wurstfest, unleashing a fist full of polka.

("In Heaven There Is No Beer" music) ("In Heaven There Is No Beer" music continues) ♪ In Heaven there is no beer ♪ Well, that's why we drink it here ♪ ♪ And when we're gone from here ♪ ♪ Our friends will be drinking all our beer ♪ ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ ♪ Here we go ("In Heaven There Is No Beer" music) ("In Heaven There Is No Beer" music continues) ("In Heaven There Is No Beer" music continues) - Here's Tal!

(fiddle solo) (fiddle solo continues) ♪ In Heaven there is no wine ♪ Well, that's why we drink moonshine ♪ ♪ And when we drink moonshine ♪ Our kielbasa tastes mighty fine ♪ ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ ("In Heaven There Is No Beer" music continues) ♪ Hey - [Jake] They say if you're gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band.

And that's why we've got Tal Spackman from San Antonio, Texas on the fiddle for several of our tunes today.

- The Wurstfest is super special to our family because we've been coming here since I was five or six years old.

- We've been coming with our parents, and it's grown a lot in the years that we've been here.

We now bring our children to the Wurstfest.

So it's three generation.

We love kind of living the German traditions, and my daughter's wearing my sister's original dirndl.

We love coming and seeing the culture and the people and singing and dancing.

- Wow.

You know, they say everything's bigger in Texas, and that's why it's the perfect place for this festival because it's a truly big event.

The Wurstfest is 10 days long and welcomes over 200,000 patrons each year.

It has five truly unique stages, which host over 250 dynamic musical performances.

And speaking of musical performances here in the Lone Star State, I want to introduce you to one of my favorite bands, Das Ist Lustig from Houston, Texas.

- Das Ist Lustig means that's amusing, that's funny, that's fun, goofy.

Pretty much any happy translation you can come up with.

People often ask us if we're married on the stage.

Yes, we are.

And what that's like working together and being married.

Well, it's a lot of fun.

We actually met because of the music back in 2007, and we've had a lot of fun ever since.

(upbeat German music) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (audience applauds and cheers) - [Speaker] Hey, Robert, wind her up.

I think she's ran out of steam.

(percussive music) (audience chattering) (percussive music continues) (audience chattering) (upbeat German music) (person snoring) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (upbeat German music continues) (audience applauds and cheers) - [Speaker] That's Valina.

- [Jake] The energy of Das Ist Lustig produced by polka neutrons and protons bouncing off one another is a site to behold.

And "The Chardon Polka Band" hopes to do our part in keeping that energy flowing here at the festival.

All right folks, this is Cati Jo.

Cati Jo has been running our merch here in Texas for, what?

- Four years now I believe.

- [Jake] Cati Jo, why do you do it?

Why do you come out here and sell merch for us every year?

- [Cati Jo] There's nothing I love more than seeing smiles brought to the pals of the Hill Country out here.

And these boys know better than anyone else how to bring some smiles and get people to kick up their boots and just have a great time to some good old polka music.

(singing in German) (singing in German continues) (singing in German continues) (singing in German continues) ("99 Luftballons" polka music) ("99 Luftballons" polka music continues) ♪ Ninety-nine red balloons ♪ Floating in the summer sky ♪ Panic bells, it's red alert ♪ There's something here from somewhere else ♪ ♪ The war machine it springs to life ♪ ♪ Opens up its eager eye ♪ And it focuses it on the summer sky ♪ ♪ Ninety-nine red balloons go by ♪ ("99 Luftballons" polka music continues) ("99 Luftballons" polka music continues) ("99 Luftballons" polka music continues) ("99 Luftballons" polka music continues) ("99 Luftballons" polka music continues) ♪ Ninety-nine knights of the air ♪ ♪ Ride super high-tech jet fighters ♪ ♪ Everyone's a superhero ♪ And everyone is a Captain Kirk ♪ ♪ With orders to identify ♪ To clarify and classify ♪ Scramble in the summer sky ♪ Ninety-nine red balloons go by ♪ ♪ Ninety-nine red balloons ♪ Ninety-nine red balloons ("99 Luftballons" polka music continues) ("99 Luftballons" polka music ends) - All right, now who do I have here?

- My name's RJ.

- Where are you from, RJ?

- I live in Leander, Texas.

- Okay, is everybody there dressed like this?

- Every day, we wear these clothes.

It's part of the government costume committee.

- I love it.

You're on that committee?

- No, no, no.

I just follow the rules.

I'm a rule follower.

- Yeah, I can tell.

I can tell he's a rule follower.

What do you like about the Wurstfest?

- Oh man, drinking.

Drinking the booze and eating the meats.

- [Jake] The Comal River runs right through the middle of this festival and the town of New Braunfels.

Because it is a spring-fed river, the water remains a balmy 70 degrees all year long.

When I'm not down here by the water relaxing and passing out high fives to fans, you might just find me at another New Braunfels landmark.

Naegelin's Bakery is the oldest bakery in Texas and has been serving the Lone Star state since 1868.

And they're one of the most popular and most recognizable vendors down here at the Wurstfest.

And we're gonna go behind the scenes at this Texas staple to see how some of these fantastic treats are made.

It is 6:00 AM, which means it is literally time to make the donuts.

So we're heading to the bakery.

It's too early for a polka musician to be up.

(light upbeat music) All right, we're here behind the scenes at Naegelin's, and this is my new best friend, Parker, right?

- Yes, sir - And you are gonna show us how to make what?

- Peach strudel.

- Peach strudel.

We're gonna do it.

And where do we start?

- We're gonna start right from the beginning.

- [Jake] All right, what's going on here?

- [Parker] All right, so this is our sheeter and we're gonna take this puff paste dough.

- Sheeter.

- And we are gonna run it through here until it's paper thin.

- Check out how flat we have to get the dough so we can make it into strudel.

Now, once Parker gets all the dough through there, it becomes this big long sheet he's gonna lay out on this table.

(energetic music) - So right now I'm gonna cut it in half.

- [Jake] Okay.

- And that'll give us the two sets of strudels, five for each side.

And then also I'm gonna cut out the lines, which we'll use after we get done making the strudels to decorate the top with the lacing for the top of the strudel.

- [Jake] Ohh.

- [Parker] That's what these will be, yes.

- [Jake] Parker cuts these big sheets of dough down to size and now we get to add the filling.

Oh, look at ya.

He just slops that on there.

- [Parker] Mm-hmm.

No tricks, no science.

Just put it on there.

- Can I try it?

- [Parker] Oh yeah, go ahead.

- [Jake] Is that good?

- [Parker] Yeah, keep on going.

That's perfect.

- [Jake] There's not enough... - That's the thing is you just keep going until, and then you'll just spread it out and play with it, you know?

- [Jake] How is that?

(goo squirts) - [Parker] Oh, that's good.

- [Jake] Is that good?

- [Parker] That's gonna be a good one.

That's loaded right there.

(goo splats) - [Jake] It's a loaded strudel.

- This one's going home with y'all today.

We'll grab us some water just to help it all stick together, and we're just gonna coat the bottoms of them.

- [Jake] I think I can do this one.

Lemme try this.

- [Parker] You got this one.

- [Parker] Lemme do this.

This is my Monet.

(majestic music) Acceptable?

- It was perfect actually.

- That... - All right, so we're gonna grab the tops like right here.

- Okay.

- And all you're gonna do is fold it like that.

That's literally it.

- Like that?

- That's perfect.

- Okay.

- All right, so now we're gonna grab the bottom and fold it up like this.

Just cover it.

- How do you get the middle to go like that?

- You can just grab right here.

The dough's not gonna tear on you.

It's super... - [Jake] Okay.

- [Parker] Yeah, so you don't have to worry about tearing.

That's the first thing everyone's always worried about is it tearing on them.

You don't have to worry too much about that.

- [Jake] I'll be the first one it tears on.

Traditional strudel can be filled with just about anything, from apple to sweet cheese to nuts.

And I'm hoping the folks at the fest will enjoy this batch.

We've got just a few more steps, and these ones are kind of tricky.

- Okay.

- Oh, you like flipped it on there.

- Yeah, so here, put the pan right here, and we'll try and flip this one on there.

It's super simple.

Don't worry about tearing the holes in it and stuff.

You got this.

- All right, so- - You can lay your pan down.

- All right.

- You got this.

Don't worry, don't worry.

- Okay, thank you.

- So you're gonna grab- - Thank you.

You're a good guy.

- Grab like this with your thumbs on here, and you're just gonna fold it onto the pan.

- Thumbs on here.

Fold it onto the pan.

Quick?

- Yeah.

- 1, 2, 3.

- Perfect.

And then just drag it on and you're good to go.

So you'll just kind of pick it up like this and just throw it on there.

- You're changing the whole science.

- You got it.

See?

That's perfect.

Literally.

- That is the most nervous I've ever been in my life.

I did not want to ruin these fine people's strudel.

- You want to get them real wet.

You just soak them.

- Mm.

- And so that way all that stuff sticks on there.

When we put this lattice work on top, it doesn't fall off when it gets baked or anything.

- [Jake] Am I being too gentle with it.

- Oh, you're whatever.

Yeah, you're good.

You're gonna set this one down on here like that.

- [Jake] Okay.

- Like diagonally.

Just kinda.

- [Jake] Like this?

- Yeah.

You can tap it on there like that.

Yeah, perfect.

- [Jake] Do a little tap.

- [Parker] And then you just come back down.

- [Jake] Come back down.

- Tap it up and then go back up.

And you're gonna do the same thing but opposite.

So you'll cross over each other like that.

- Tap it.

The tappings very important to all your viewers at home.

I've about got this one, but look how fast Parker's going.

He's getting like 27 of these done in the time it takes me to knock out one.

- [Parker] All right, so let's do two cuts in between each one like this.

And don't do them straight down.

You do them a little at an angle.

- [Jake] A little at an angle.

You seeing that, folks?

- [Parker] So it makes it look nice and pretty.

- [Jake] I think if you didn't want to do this no more, you could be a barber.

- [Parker] I know, right?

- [Jake] How's that?

- [Parker] Those are perfect.

Yep.

- [Jake] Put one on the end.

- [Parker] Perfect, yeah.

- [Jake] Crisscross down there.

- [Parker] Sweet.

And these will be going straight to the oven soon.

- [Jake] All right.

- [Parker] We'll toss them on our rack.

- All right, this has been an absolutely tasty time.

Thank you so much, Parker, for showing us how you do all this stuff.

- Of course.

- It's awesome, man.

- It's been a pleasure.

- Yeah.

- I appreciate y'all coming down and hanging out.

I know y'all are busy.

- Hey, I know y'all are busy.

Y'all gonna make how many strudel?

- [Parker] Too many.

But it's good.

We'll make them.

- Thousands of these things are coming out of Naegelin's, as well as cinnamon rolls, donuts, gingerbread cookies, all for the festival folks.

So we're gonna see it back there.

Now listen up, cowpokes, it don't matter if you're working the ranch or you're working the polka circuit, you gotta get yourself some good food.

And those tasty strudels, they sure beat beans and cactus water.

Now how about a delicious polka?

Ladies and gentlemen, here he is.

This is Jameson Brettman from "The Happy Players" band.

Tell me about "The Happy Players."

- We're a band.

We've been together for 10 years.

We play new style polka and all sorts of other crazy stuff.

- It is crazy stuff.

You're a crazy guy.

- Thank you.

- Yeah, and it takes one to know one.

- Yes, exactly.

- All right, what's so special about playing at the Wurstfest, Jameson?

- I think that the best thing is just the crowds.

You'll never get better crowds than right here.

They're fantastic, high energy, like to get involved.

Everyone's dancing, having a good time, drinking a lot of beer.

All the Opas and Omas are here.

And you can just tell everyone's really dedicated to this festival, this salute to sausage.

- All right, and Jameson, what are you gonna be playing us today?

- We're going to be playing what we like to call "The Happy Players Klompendans."

- Klompendans?

- Klompendans.

- What does that mean?

- I don't know.

(chuckles) - Ladies... Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to klompendans.

("The Happy Players Klompendans" music) ("The Happy Players Klompendans" music continues) (singing in German) (singing in German continues) (singing in German continues) ♪ Thank God for alcohol (singing in German continues) (singing in German continues) ♪ La, la, la - Everybody!

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la (energetic polka music continues) (energetic polka music continues) (energetic polka music continues) (energetic polka music continues) (energetic polka music continues) (energetic polka music ends) - That was "The Happy Players" band, a rowdy bunch of outlaws from Nebraska.

We're wrangling up a good time at the festival, and we hope you guys are enjoying it too.

- So I've been coming to Wurstfest basically my whole life.

I remember coming as a kid.

And then when my husband and I got married, it became something that we look forward to doing every year.

It's just the fun and the comradery and the laughs and the good times and the great food, of course.

- And the beer.

- Can't forget the beer.

- Can't forget the beer.

- I hope you guys have enjoyed the program today.

Now don't forget.

We've got so much to unpack here at the Wurstfest that we're gonna be spending two episodes here in Texas.

- Jake, I don't know how long you're gonna be here, but if this is going to take a while, I'm gonna have to put you to work.

(disappointed twangy music) (steer mooing) Well, folks, it turns out that if you film at a working ranch, they might make you do some work.

But whether you're a cowboy or a polka musician, no dream was ever accomplished without hard work.

We'll see you next time "On the World According to Polka."

♪ If I leave here tomorrow ♪ Would you still remember me ♪ For I must be traveling on, now ♪ ♪ 'Cause there's so many places I've got to see ♪ ♪ But if I stay here with you, girl ♪ ♪ You know things just couldn't be the same ♪ ♪ But please don't take it so badly ♪ ♪ 'Cause you know I'm the one to blame ♪ ♪ Lord knows this free bird, you can't change ♪ ♪ Oh-no, no ♪ Lord knows I can't change ("Free Bird" polka music continues) ♪ Oh no, I can't change ♪ Let's go ("Free Bird" polka music continues) (saxophone solo) (saxophone solo continues) ("Free Bird" polka music continues) (tuba solo) (tuba solo) (tuba solo) ("Free Bird" polka music continues) ("Free Bird" polka music continues) ("Free Bird" polka music continues) ("Free Bird" polka music continues) ("Free Bird" polka music continues) ("Free Bird" polka music ends) (audience applauds and cheers) - It'll start boiling, you know, busting out and making a hole itself.

We're making holes for it.

- Peach explosion.

(peach explodes)