Listen.

I didn't want to say anything, but your hands are dirty.

And just like Matty-Matt McConaughey's ratty hipster beard, they need to be washed.

But believe it or not, when it comes to hand washing, you and the late Howard Hughes are probably doing it wrong.

JASON (VOICEOVER): Michigan State University researchers recently camped out in public restrooms and found that only 5% of people wash their hands long enough after using the bathroom.

Did you know, Rand, that 23% didn't use soap?

[TOILET FLUSHES] I did not know that.

Washing your hands without soap is like going to a John Oates concert.

You're missing the main ingredient.

You would never see "Live at Daryl--" you see "Live at Daryl's House."

"Hanging at Daryl's," I thought.

Is it "Hanging at Daryl's House"?

[LAUGH] Hanging-- hanging with Mr. D. Hanging with Mr. D. According to a 2013 environmental study, 10.3% didn't bother to wash their hands at all.

And 2% washed their hands in the toilet.

The margin of error on that step, by the way, is plus or minus 2%.

So it could be four.

Listen.

The worst part about not washing your hands is how much contact your hands have with other people every day.

According to Dr. Elaine Larson, Dean of Research at Columbia University's nursing school, hand shakes are riskier germ-wise than flushing a toilet or grabbing a subway pole.

All right.

That's it.

I'm never shaking hands with anyone at the Port Authority in New York City again.

You want to run barefoot?

Fine.

You want to get that throat piercing?

No skin off of his larynx.

Doesn't affect me at all.

But for the love of fist bumps and high fives, wash your damn hands.

And when you do, just remember to make sure you're doing it right.

In the late 1840s, there was a very important assistant in the maternity wards of a Vienna hospital named Dr. Ignaz Semmelweis.

(SINGING) Semmelweis, Semmelweis.

Small and white, clean and bright.

It could not be helped.

He ordered doctors and medical students to wash their hands with a chlorinated solution before examining women in labor.

The mortality rate in this maternity ward eventually dropped to less than 1%.

It was like an episode of "The Knick," minus the rampant cocaine use.

But despite the remarkable results, Semmelweis's colleagues greeted his findings with hostility because people in the early 1900s hated babies.

That's true.

In fact, in 1910, Josephine Baker M.D.

Started a program to teach hygiene to child care providers in New York.

30 physicians sent a petition to the mayor protesting that quote, "It was ruining medical practice by keeping babies well."

Even Dr. Phil thinks that's a terrible statement, and he's not a real doctor.

Is he?

Is he?

He is.

What?

I cannot believe that.

Thankfully, our relationship with hand-washing has evolved unlike the comedy career of Charles Darwin.

Yep.

He just kept flinging his poop jokes at you over and over again.

I thought he would take it up a notch.

He never really developed.

The US Center for Disease Control says that hand washing is the most important means of preventing the spread of infection.

And yet, people are still doing it wrong.

First mistake people make is lack of consistency.

This isn't a Weight Watchers plan.

You can't just skip a day.

You're right, Rand, because when you leave the bathroom, you take the germs from anything and anyone you touch.

Any one?

Look, as much as I hate a bathroom high five, you can't leave someone hanging.

Senator?

Not going to do it.

Being environmentally conscious can also get you into hand washing trouble.

Yeah.

Hand dryers blow.

Literally and figuratively.

They're like a Michael Bay movie, loud annoying, and they usually go on much longer than needed.

And they're not even effective at cleaning those digits.

The reason is because people don't get their hands fully dry when using a dryer, and wet hands are actually worse than dry hands for spreading bacteria according to Aileen Marty, MD, in health.com.

She went on to say that the old paper towel is the post-rinse drying agent.

Sorry, trees.

Oh, by the way, and hot water isn't the answer either.

You can burn your hands before you can get the water hot enough just to kill the bacteria.

Just find something that's comfortable for you and stick with it.

Like Will Smith has done with this films.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, people aren't washing the correct parts of their hands.

Most folks tend to wash their palms and the backs of their hands, which is wrong.

When have you ever tried to pick something up with the back of your hand?

Other than in an airport bathroom?

Never.

Exactly.

According to Dr. Larson, again, it's all about the finger tips.

Focus on the finger tips because they're like your hands ambassadors.

They come in contact with everything first.

And ultimately, you don't want to be putting your dirty bacteria-ridden fingertips in your mouth or in your nose.

Unless that's your thing.

Who's thing would that be?

That could be someone's thing.

I can't even think-- That could be a thing.

About that as someone's thing.

Everybody has a thing.

So guys, remember.

Wash every time.

Say no to the blow.

And keep soap on longer than you think.

And focus on the fingertips.

For Randy, I am clean hands Jason.

For Jason, I am dirty hands Randy.

That's right.

Dirty hands Randy.

You've been doing it wrong.

You are doing it wrong.

[BEEP] DIRECTOR: Take two.

It's not "Hanging at Daryl's House."

It's "Live--" it's "Live at Daryl's House."

Daryl's place.

Nope.

It's "Live at Daryl's--" Place.

I think it's "Live at Daryl's House."

Why would he call his house-- why would he call his house his place.

Daryl Hall's got the most Philadelphia accent I've ever heard.

Yeah.

Like, he sings like a Motown star.

And then he's like, (EXAGGERATED ACCENT) we're going out on a walk.

See you on Fifth and Locust.

We're getting some water ice.

Let's get some water ice.

He's like, hey, CeeLo.

You want to get some water ice?