- [Announcer] Generous funding for this program is made possible by Highmark Blue Cross Blue Shield.

Thank you.

(gentle music) - The fear of not living up to my expectations of being a mother took a toll on me.

- I knew that I had to keep feeding them, and changing their diapers.

It was survival mode.

- There was no help at all.

I felt alone.

I didn't want to hold my son for six months.

- To have the ultimate thing happen, where my daughter did not survive, that just was truly devastating for me.

- There is, for every new mom that stigma, they have to be the perfect mom.

(gentle music) - It doesn't really get better until you actually get help.

- It's one of the most rewarding things that I do, is giving them that hope and path, because oftentimes they think that they're going through it alone.

(gentle music) (gentle music continues) - What else do you have?

Is that a tomato?

(gentle music) With my fourth pregnancy with Dean, I was dealing with post-partum depression, and at three in the morning I was home alone with the kids, and I'm like, I'm gonna go take the pills.

(gentle music) I had a plan how to commit suicide.

(gentle music) My grandma just passed away, and my husband was at work.

I thought to myself, "It's better off if I'm dead."

And as soon as I thought of that, Dean woke up, and I'm like, I need to feed him.

He needs me.

(gentle music) And then I went to a psychiatrist and got help.

(gentle music) - During pregnancy, there is just a rapid change of hormones, like estrogen and progesterone, and we know that these hormones actually directly impact the neurotransmitters or the chemicals in our brain that are associated with depression and anxiety.

(gentle music) - Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders refer to episodes of depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder that take place during pregnancy, or in the first year postpartum.

- I was telling my doctor for nine months, "I need help."

I started learning more about mental health.

- [Child] I need help with the rest of my homework.

- I got into therapy and it's helped me so much.

(gentle music) - Hi.

Say, "Mwah."

Mwah.

When I was in high school, I could possibly say maybe I was a little depressed.

Definitely not as bad as when I became a mom.

It started out being so happy you just brought a baby home.

Something that I've wanted for a long time, and then I really don't even know how to explain.

It's just one day you just catch yourself crying more.

Just one day you just catch yourself just zoned out more.

I knew that mentally I wasn't healthy.

(gentle music) - Hi.

- [LaDajza] Hey, Ms. Taylor.

- Therapy is important for prenatal and postpartum moms, because having that person, that you can come to without bias, and have a very open conversation, but also gain the tools to help you navigate stressful episodes can really be helpful.

- The feelings and emotions into consideration.

- Moving Beyond Depression is a in-home, therapeutic cognitive behavioral therapy program, that we provide prenatal, and postpartum moms with depression.

What is something helpful that you could say to yourself or...?

- Ms. Taylor, she was a huge impact in my success, I guess you could say, with my depression, just adapting to being a mother, of a very, busy, baby.

(gentle music) The first step is definitely admitting to yourself that you need the help, that you want the help.

Yeah, you're doing it for your children, in the long run, but it's really for you.

(gentle music) - Friends and family have tons of bias.

They love you and so they just want you to be happy.

And sometimes telling a mom, "You should just be happy," can be the thing that really makes them feel worse.

(gentle music) - So this is my daughter, Madison.

This little man down here is Darby.

That's Tallulah and that's my oldest Riley.

So some of the symptoms that I experienced happened after the birth of my children, and that was irritability, paranoia.

I also experienced sleep deprivation, feelings of hopelessness, and not being adequate as a mother, as a person.

(gentle music) I was reaching for support, and not finding that with other people.

I was finding more of, this is the most beautiful time.

You need to be happy.

They could not see that I was already struggling with that.

(gentle music) - We probably identify less than 50% of individuals with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.

We get about 10 to 20% into treatment, and only treat three to 5% to remission, which is astonishingly terrible.

(gentle music) - My wife's name was Alexis Joy D'Achille.

We met at a mutual friend's birthday party.

She walked in and it was like lightning.

We were inseparable since then.

(gentle music) Alexis's pregnancy was perfect.

It was seamless.

It was everything that you could ever imagine, until we got to the delivery room.

(dramatic music) It was a traumatic birth, it was a code blue delivery.

When it's code blue, either the mother or the child's life is in danger.

It was scary.

(gentle music) Adriana was born, I remember the first cry that came from her, and it was such relief, and I looked at her and I looked at Alexis, and when I looked at Alexis, I just knew something was wrong.

It was like... (gentle music) We went home, it was normal first time parent stuff, and then it was about, I think, after 10 days, two weeks, that's when things started to change, (gentle music) and it really started with, I guess debilitating anxiety, and then every day from there on, just got progressively worse.

I mean, it's like...to watch someone you love, anybody, any human being, unravel at the rate she did... She would say, "I just don't know how to make it end.

I don't know...it has to stop."

We went to seven different hospitals in the last 13 days, and she was actually asking, she was like, "No, I need to be admitted somewhere."

Everybody just looked at her and nobody listened to her.

Eventually the doctor just said, "Listen, you're not cut out for this.

I don't think you should even think about having any other kids," and that... That was it.

(gentle music) (gentle music continues) I would call psychologist's and psychiatrist's offices, and the very first callback I got, was two months after her funeral.

(gentle music) - When my mom had me, she tried to get help and it wasn't there, so my dad and I built the Alexis Joy D'Achille Center, so other moms don't have to go through what my mom went through.

(gentle music) - [Rebecca] Have you been getting more sleep with the baby?

- [Speaker] No.

Actually, - I'm sure that's not helping.

- [Speaker] No.

- The center at West Penn offers a beautiful setting for parents to come to their outpatient talk therapy, and their psychiatry, medication management appointments.

(gentle music) Something unique about what we're doing, is that we include the baby in treatment.

- Every week I run into somebody that tells me, if it wasn't for that center, I might not have a daughter, or my wife probably wouldn't be here, and that's the greatest thing in the world.

(gentle music) You don't get to go back, but you can change the future.

(gentle music) - There's a lot of stigma around mental health, in Black and Brown communities, because primarily providers don't look like Black and Brown individuals.

You feel more comfortable when you're talking to someone that can relate to your experiences based off of the world that we live in?

- I was 19 when I gave birth, and I honestly hadn't even heard the word, anxiety, depression.

It just simply was not a part of my family's vocabulary.

(gentle music) Not only did I experience symptoms of postpartum depression, where I would isolate myself and my baby, (gentle music) I also experienced symptoms of postpartum anxiety.

I was the mom who could not sleep when her baby was asleep.

I was the mom who had to have my baby laying directly on my chest, and count her breaths in, out, and make sure I wasn't breathing so hard, that I'm pressing her.

It was really not healthy.

(gentle music) Unfortunately because I grew up in a household that was not open to discussing mental health needs or concerns, I had gotten really, really good, at just stuffing things down, pretending that things weren't bothering me, and you internalize it.

(gentle music) I was also a mom who did not feel safe, and comfortable bringing this up to my doctor.

I had a white, male doctor.

(gentle music) I know for me, sisterhood from Black women, has been my absolute strength in this journey.

- March of Dimes is a non-profit organization, and our focus is on improving the health of moms and babies.

(gentle music) When it comes to the mental health of Black mothers, we're long overdue to spotlight the issues.

There's the racism that we see in the healthcare field among physicians, among psychiatrists or therapists.

(gentle music) We also see implicit bias, which is the subconscious attitudes, or perceived stereotypes that we have of others, and this can undermine an African American woman's physical and mental health.

It not only impacts the woman, but also the baby that she's growing with inside her.

(gentle music) (voices chattering) - I have two small daughters.

They're currently six and four, and they were both born premature.

(gentle music) My first daughter was born at 24 weeks, with a 30% chance of survival.

It was very, very intense, not being able to hold your baby, for almost a month after they're born and the tubes, and the wires.

(gentle music) At times, they would just ask, "Are you ready to just make her comfortable?"

(gentle music) I felt shocked, scared, anxious, confused.

She stayed there four and a half months.

We were at that NICU every single day, every single day.

(gentle music) Just thinking about where they came from.

In the morning, you're greeted after they walk out of their room and say, "Good morning, mommy."

And you're like, I can't believe this.

It's kind of surreal.

Pie crust or...?

- I'm gonna make... - Biscuits?

- [Child] Biscuits.

(gentle music) - Health inequities are really, really prevalent, when we're talking about perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.

So we know that individuals from communities of color are at higher risk.

Individuals from the LGBTQ+ community are at higher risk.

(gentle music) - Queer folks in general have to do a lot more to become parents.

(gentle music) My former partner and I, we had a lot of difficulty conceiving.

Our experience was very challenging.

We tried IUI and intrauterine insemination six times, (gentle music) and then we ended up switching over to IVF, and I got pregnant with my daughters the first try.

(gentle music) My daughters were born alive.

I gave birth to them vaginally.

They were born alive, they were moving, but I was only 17 weeks pregnant.

If you hear miscarriage, you might think something different than what my lived experience was, and that was very hard to push babies out, and see them moving, and know that they were not gonna survive, and you couldn't bring them home.

(gentle music) I definitely was dealing with perinatal depression, period.

And then add on the experience of grief and bereavement.

(gentle music) It wasn't super long after the girls were born, that we adopted my son.

(gentle music) It's the society that is sometimes racist, and homophobic and transphobic.

That is what causes the stress.

(gentle music) (gentle music continues) - Finding an in-network provider can be really difficult, especially for individuals in more rural areas.

(gentle music) - So in the state of Pennsylvania, we have at this time six maternity care deserts, meaning that those within this area have to travel, two, three, four times longer for access to these resources.

(gentle music) - Genesis is a nonprofit that serves families, primarily with pregnant women and young children.

Generally, there are not a lot of resources in the rural areas in Pennsylvania.

We help with parenting classes, distribute needed items for pregnancy, and we have a house for homeless pregnant women as well.

- [Speaker] Thank you so much.

- [Worker] Oh, you're welcome.

- [Danielle] Transportation is also an issue.

- I was a stay-at-home mother, and I didn't have any form of transportation at that time, so the isolation of just being home with a newborn, it could really mess with you, to not have that adult connection.

- Our rural clients are very concerned about the stigma, and there's a lot of pride.

They don't want anyone to know that they're struggling.

(gentle music) We can do counseling over Zoom, and that is really helpful.

(gentle music) (gentle music continues) - We should be screening everyone for perinatal depression, actually reaching communities of color, people who are living in poverty, people who are having struggles, that maybe put them in a position where they are stigmatized in the healthcare system.

- Just not feeling supported plays a major role in causing depression.

(gentle music) - We really want to make sure that more and more women, and birthing people have access to birthing doulas, as we know that that has a direct impact not only on birthing outcomes, but also on mental health outcomes.

(gentle music) - We want to make a birth plan.

A doula is a birth companion.

We provide emotional, spiritual, and physical components to ensure that families are able to get the desired birth outcome, and feel empowered when doing so.

(gentle music) - And then I'll have you move your hips in a circle on the ball.

A lot of times when you're living it, it's really, really hard to see or recognize postpartum mood disorders.

(gentle music) We can teach families the signs and symptoms, and then they are able to get help sooner.

(gentle music) (gentle music continues) What really helps is to find your village, find your people, and find those that align with the things that you believe in and the way that you live.

- When I was going through my experience, I definitely sought out support in pretty much any way that I could.

The first was just going online, and seeing whether there were support groups.

Connecting with other Black parents in particular, was really crucial in my healing journey.

(gentle music) - Momma Bears started in 2021, and that was always my dream to have a mom group support group.

We do Zoom group, and we just talk about what the mother going through, and we encourage her to go take care of herself.

If I can help one mom, I hope I did my deed.

(gentle music) (gentle music continues) - Medication management is also an effective treatment.

- Antidepressants we know are really, really effective, during pregnancy for depression and anxiety, and are absolutely okay to use, in consultation with a doctor.

(gentle music) - I knew that I was more susceptible to having postpartum depression again, so I'd asked my care provider for Prozac, and I felt more secure that I had that in my tool belt.

(gentle music) - There are some new medicines that have been approved by the Food and Drug Administration within the last three years, that are specifically for postpartum depression.

(gentle music) This is a really exciting time to be working in this field, because there is so much attention to prevention.

Research that has come out of that desire to really identify people who are at high risk, are really cutting edge kinds of things.

So you can imagine a scenario in the not too distant future where you are obtaining a blood test, and maybe running a program through someone's medical record and identifying people who are at higher risk, and then really tailoring their treatment.

- That's the silver lining in all this, because we are doing better.

We really are, and we're doing it right here in Pittsburgh.

- I'm excited because I have a little daughter, and I'm glad that I could at least try to make the world a better place for when she... if she decides to have a family.

(gentle music) - [Child] Yay.

Yay.

(child laughs) - As a mother, seeing my children grow, and flourish now, especially when you're essentially given a death sentence... Makes me feel immensely grateful.

- Let's close that.

- Oh, remember what happened before?

- Yeah, our ice cream melted.

- You're her mini.

(Steven laughs) She looks just like her mother, and she acts like her.

I mean, genes are strong.

Let me tell you, even personality, everything.

I mean it's unbelievable.

(gentle music) - Looking at this picture, I am very proud of being the mother, of these four individuals through all of the struggles.

It's the moments like this, that would make me want to do it, over and over and over again for them.

(gentle music) (child babbling) - I just want to give my babies the best opportunities I can and the best way to do that, is to make sure that I'm mentally okay, I'm mentally stable.

Hi.

(laughs) (gentle music) - What absolutely keeps me going is my daughter.

She's just so cool.

She's so funny and she's made me wanna work, to make things better for her as a woman.

(gentle music) - He has eaten a lot.

Are you eating that?

He can eat anything.

It is a joy to see that there are other moms, who are comfortable to come and get help, and just talk to somebody, and they're realizing they're not alone.

(gentle music) (gentle music continues) And they're not afraid to get that support.

(gentle music)