How online conspiracy theories led to this man’s mental health crisis

Geoff Bennett:

Tonight, our Student Reporting Labs team brings us another edition of Moments of Truth, a series that delves into the spread of misinformation.

David Morrill of Portland, Oregon, was involved in online conspiracy theory communities, until a mental health crisis forced him to confront his beliefs. He talked with his father about how he found his way back to reality.

David Morrill, Portland, Oregon:

In the real world, I was falling behind. In this digital fantasy, I was unlocking the secrets of the universe.

Hello. I'm David Morrill. I'm a 30-year-old graduate student, and we're here today to talk about how I slowly got drawn into conspiracy theories.

Scott Morrill, Father of David Morrill: I'm Scott Morrill. I'm David's dad.

I don't think, at first, I had any inkling that something was going on.

David Morrill:

It all started with something called the Cicada 3301. It's this online puzzle.

It starts with basic problem solving. You would take, say, an anagram and arrange letters correctly to get a URL. I got involved more deeply in communities that were trying to crack this. I started going on Reddit specifically.

I realized I couldn't. But there were other less well-known puzzles and challenges that people were directing my attention towards. I got it up in my head that there was some shadow group running everything. Maybe, if I solve these things, they'd let me in. I'd be a member. I never knew what the grand sacred truth was. I was just going through a hero's journey of challenges and puzzles to try to get there maybe.

Scott Morrill:

Did you get more sort of desperate to crack the code, so to speak?

David Morrill:

Yes. Yes.

My relationship began failing darn near immediately after marriage, and my income was paltry, at best. I wasn't sleeping. I was taking drugs. And I started getting really paranoid, as is a common side effect of marijuana. I started frantically reaching out and trying to express my concerns to you.

Scott Morrill:

You were talking about stuff that your mother and I just — we didn't get it.

At some point, there was a traumatic event that kind of brought this all to a head.

David Morrill:

My imagination was running away from me.

So, I got in the shower and, for over a dozen hours, I refused to get out. People were knocking, and I was terrified of them. Just I knew that the water running over me was comforting, as I refused to move.

On hindsight, the doctors have labeled it a drug-induced psychosis, which means I lost touch with reality completely.

Scott Morrill:

It's an absolutely terrifying thing to see a loved one in that much distress and not know what you can do about it.

We called in some experts that knew how to deal with it and basically talked you down and helped you on a path to recovery. You started working with some people in the health care industry that helped.

David Morrill:

Yes.

I wish I could give more of a single moment where the not believing in conspiracies kind of emerged. All I know is that, by your not being judgmental, by not telling me that it was all fake or that I was crazy, I was able to slowly climb back out because of your support.

Thank you.

Scott Morrill:

You made me cry.

Since then, stuff has taken a turn…

David Morrill:

Swiftly.

Scott Morrill:

… for the better.

David Morrill:

Yes.

Now I have gotten two bachelor's degrees, actually, and successfully defended my thesis just last month.

Scott Morrill:

Tell me a little bit about that.

David Morrill:

I wanted to know what happened to me and also hopefully help others in the future.

I started focusing on conspiratorial ideation and persuasion online. And I have got to be honest. It's more invigorating going through the proper channels that it is making these aha breakthroughs in your basement.

(LAUGHTER)

Scott Morrill:

Well, I hope that your mother and I were — we weren't accusatory.

David Morrill:

You were very supportive.

At the end of the day, I could have dismissed anybody except you guys. You have made it abundantly clear throughout my whole life that you care, so I appreciate that.

Scott Morrill:

It would be impossible to overstate how much we care.

David Morrill:

Sorry I lost my way for a bit.