♪ Always be strong ♪ - She Was determined.

Determined to live.

- She was cancer free.

(dramatic music) - I feel like I was in really good hands and I can't say nothing about the treatment that I got.

- Things do change.

Nothing stays static.

A new day will come.

(upbeat music) - Welcome to "Hope is Here."

I'm Carla Hill.

Our youth and all the experiences that make up our childhood good and bad, can affect the person we ultimately become.

Yet we often have a choice in that destiny.

Dr. Ana Viamonte Ros is someone that proves that although insurmountable challenges and negative experiences from the past can shape our future, hard work and a determined healthy mindset can pave the way towards a gratifying life.

Here's her story.

(solemn music) - When I was a teenager, my mom, who was absolutely my best friend and the person that I've most admired in my life, she became both physically and mentally ill and I became her caregiver.

I was her sole caregiver.

At a very young age, I was parentified, in other words.

So our roles changed and I became the parent more to her than she was to me.

And I just grew up very quickly from that experience.

It was very, very hard for me.

(solemn music) However, what I can tell you that has impacted me in my life from my experiences in the past and now when I'm faced with difficult and challenging moments, I think back and I said, "Well, I survived that.

This is nothing by comparison."

I sort of think, "I guess it puts things in perspective, a little bit, and I'm able, I think, to deal with challenges much, much better."

(solemn music) I was an overachiever.

I was very, very close to my parents and my grandparents and I wanted to please all of them.

And I knew that coming from a family of Cuban refugees, excelling academically was very much stressed.

And I remember my grandfather, one of my grandfathers, telling me, "The only thing that we were able to bring with us from Cuba was nothing of material value, but was our education."

(gentle music) I went to Harvard and I was the first Secretary of Health that was Hispanic and a woman here in the state of Florida.

I was a first surgeon general of any gender here in the state of Florida.

And hopefully I will be a professor, full professor student at the medical school.

And I think I'm gonna be the first woman full professor here at Baptist.

Okay, perfect.

I chose to get into the field of mental health because of my own family history with dealing with mental health issues, especially with my mother.

To me it was something that was so obvious that needed attention.

Not only in society in general but certainly for our clinical staff.

Exactly.

Mental health has been stigmatized throughout history and it still currently is.

And to me it's an opportunity to destigmatize asking for help, to normalize understanding when we do need help, seeking help, and being just able to offer access to care.

(gentle music) The most important thing, if I look back in my life, that I've achieved is that I was a very, very good granddaughter.

I was an excellent daughter.

And I'm hopefully now a good grandmother.

That's the only thing that at the end of my life will really matter that I've done well.

The other stuff, absolutely, and I love doing whatever I do well and to the best of my ability, but there's no question that having been a good caretaker, and mother now, and grandmother and all, absolutely everything else pales by comparison.

- I'd like to introduce Dr. Ana Viamonte Ros, Chief Well-being Officer and Medical Director of Palliative Care and Bioethics Services at Baptist Health.

Thank you so much for being here, Doctor.

- My pleasure to be here with you.

- So of all of the work that you could have channeled your life experiences into, you chose mental health.

Dr. Viamonte Ros, was that difficult for you in terms of deciding the direction of your life?

- Not at this point.

I believe that with some of my past experiences I felt very committed and I do feel very committed and passionate about mental illness, and mental health, and asking for help, and destigmatizing the issue of mental health.

I went through things during my own lifetime that I realized how important it was to speak up, and to speak out, and to really promote others being able to speak up and actually accessing mental health care.

- That's right.

You know, there is a term in mental health called vicarious traumatization.

So by working with those who are going through serious heartbreaking trauma, you too as you mentioned, you're going through it as well.

And you know, at least to a point, do you feel susceptible to it?

And how do you take care of your own mental health?

- Absolutely, and I know it's so interesting because I remember in the throes of when my mother was the sickest, if anything happened to me, it would be something that in anyone's life you would be affected by.

And I would cry.

She'd be afraid and she'd say, "No, no, no, no, you can't cry.

You can't cry 'cause you're gonna get sick like me."

- Oh my goodness.

- And I said, "Mom, you have to allow me to vent.

You have to allow me to feel sad in a normal setting."

But in her mind it was a slippery slope into becoming ill.

So that was very hard for me, also, to try to keep it always together and always be very, very strong.

Which I think I was for her primarily.

But again, I wanted to live a normal life and feel the ups and downs.

But something you mentioned that is so important as a professor, also an associate professor at the medical school, I remember the issue of stigma.

There's no question.

It's being talked about more by the media, by the famous people, et cetera.

However, there's a huge stigma.

- Yes.

- Still in place.

I remember years ago asking a classroom of 140 medical students, "Raise your hand if you yourself or a close family or friend is dealing with diabetes."

Let's say, you know, two thirds, if not more of the class raised their hand.

"What about mental illness?"

Nobody raised their hand.

And I thought, wow.

Wow.

And I would dare say that probably it's even more prevalent in that sense.

And being a physician and being in the position that I'm at within the profession that I'm in, the stigma is huge.

And what will people think of me?

Will they trust my medical opinion or my medical expertise if they think that I'm depressed, or that I'm on medication, or that I'm seeing a therapist?

As a parent if I were to admit that my child has some illness, what will they think of me as a parent?

Have I failed as a parent?

You know, the shame.

The shame, the fear is so prevalent still.

So enormously prevalent.

And I still see people asking for help only when they're in a situation when they're forced to ask for help.

Not because it's a voluntary thing because again the shame and the fear of what will that say about me and the people around me?

And there's a shame component.

There's no shame if I tell you I'm hypertensive or I have rheumatoid arthritis or whatever.

- But there is shame if we say we are depressed - Enormous.

Enormous.

- Or we're feeling sad, yes.

- You know, you're not praying enough or what's wrong with you?

You don't have the backbone to deal with this?

What's wrong with you?

So without considering that it's an illness.

It's an illness just like so many other illnesses out there.

- Absolutely, and when we think about someone in your position and colleagues like yourself, a patient should want to hear, "Oh yes, you know, I check in with someone."

- Exactly.

- We should want to hear that 'cause it's so important, just as you would tell your patients to check into with someone.

It's important - Absolutely.

- that their caregiver is doing the same.

- Absolutely.

- So what are the coping skills that you've learned over the years that help you when you are triggered from any experiences in the past?

- You know, so interesting because I think for a lot of people, if you've gone through a difficult moment, if you've survived it, it serves sort of as a basis for knowing that you have the strength and the wherewithal within you to really face other situations.

- Wow, Doctor, when you look back how is it that your work is making you stronger?

How are you achieving through post-traumatic growth rather than being traumatized by something like with PTSD that we hear so much about?

- I do a lot of community service also.

I've been volunteering since I was a medical student so this is many, many, many years ago at Camillus and I'm actually a vice president of their board now.

Being able to help others is a huge goal in my life and is something that I aspire to on a continuous basis.

And especially in the realm of mental health is so difficult to access care.

Forget about even the stigma, you know, surviving that or being able to overcome that.

Just once you've made that decision of asking for help even getting help is difficult.

I don't care even if you have the best of insurances, it's not easy.

It's expensive and it's not that prevalent in our community to be able to access it on a timely basis.

Which, you know, I don't wanna call a doctor's office and say, "I feel down, I feel sad."

We can see you in three months.

That does not work in mental health.

So to me it's very gratifying to be able to maybe overcome those obstacles, to make sure that those individuals that do want help are able to get that help on a timely basis is to me something that I really strive to do.

- I have another question for you.

We're talking about culturally.

- Yes.

- Sometimes culturally.

- Oh, yes.

- Seeking mental health is frowned upon.

- Very much so.

- How do you deal with that in the community that you work in which is so multi-ethnic?

- Absolutely, well I can tell you from a Hispanic cultural perspective which is what I come from, the issue of mental health and mental illness, you don't talk about it.

You don't talk about a lot of things.

Even in my role also in palliative care we don't talk about death.

We don't talk because you sort of draw it in.

A what does that say about our family?

And the reputation of our family if we admit to something like that?

And those that are religious, well, you know, you turn to the church, you'll be able to deal with this.

You don't have to go to a stranger and talk about this.

So there are a lot of cultural misperceptions about mental health and mental illness and being able to ask for help and that it's okay to ask for help, and there's no shame in asking for help.

And again, I see it from now being a grandparent, you know, what does that say, oh my gosh, if I admit to this?

Does that say I've been a bad mother?

And what did I fail in that my child now is sick, or depressed, or anxious, or whatever it is?

And you don't have the support of other people saying you've done nothing wrong, you've done nothing wrong.

You know, the same thing if you tell me your child is hypertensive, you have done nothing wrong.

These are illnesses.

- That's right.

- And how wonderful, and how brave, and how much I laud you in asking for help and wanting to get that help, and being honest enough to maybe share your story so that others feel empowered to do so as well.

- That's right.

It is about empowerment.

Within each - Absolutely.

- of our communities.

So I thank you so much for doing that.

Dr. V, you are a successful doctor and regardless of your success do you ever find that you're taking two steps forward and maybe one step back?

And is this not to be expected by people who go through tough times in their childhood?

- I actually take two steps forward and maybe four back sometimes, not just one back.

Absolutely.

I'm flawed like many of us are, and absolutely, there are moments that I do feel sad, and I do feel depressed, and I feel lonely, and I feel, you know, have I done everything I can for my own family?

Absolutely, absolutely.

But again, I think I draw strength from my past experiences from having been able to overcome and being able to help those in need in my own life at a certain moment.

And that if I was able to do it then I'll be able to do it going forward.

Having patience with ourselves also and knowing that we do go through ups and downs in our lifetime, and knowing that today might be a blue day but it'll be better tomorrow.

And I heard one time, I loved what are the two things about being happy in life?

What are the two components?

And one was having good health, which I agree with it.

And the second was having a bad memory.

(host laughing) And I love that.

- I don't mean to laugh at that But that's great.

- And I love that.

And I love that, yeah.

So again, maybe not dwell on things in the past that have happened that yes, we're sad that probably you can't change.

But going forward and trying then to make a difference.

To make a difference in your own life and make a difference in other people's lives.

- Doctor, we talked a little bit about this 21st century world and the impact that social media has had on it.

I wanna talk to you about what you see in terms of the impact of mental health today.

It's a fragile space that we're in.

And let's face it, the pandemic didn't help people.

- No.

- You know, it only maybe even helped some people to keep those feelings suppressed once we were out of the lockdown situation.

It was sort of like, well, let's get back to normal.

Quickly, quickly, quickly.

What are your perceptions on mental health today?

- I mean, I think we're social beings and I think folks that did go into lockdown, I, in my own profession, I never stopped working and never stopped going into the hospital.

And that for me, from a mental health perspective, was very healthy because I live by myself.

I needed to be with other people.

I just felt sad being at home because there was no one else at home.

I needed to socialize.

And I think what you just explained also about social media and our youth and in that sense, that takes away from socialization and our face-to-face encounters and makes people more isolated and more withdrawn sometimes and more insulated.

My kids, I'll tell my kids, "I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna be texted, I don't wanna be emailed.

I want you to call me.

I wanna hear your voice."

- Wow.

- "I wanna hear your voice."

I know this because I'm old but that's what I'm used to.

- No, we are social beings.

- We're social beings.

- Yes, yes.

- We're social beings.

So try as best you can to, again, even if you live by yourself, to have opportunities to engage others.

- Yes, I wanna bring up something with you, Doctor, and certainly something that our audience might be thinking about.

It's been in the news a lot and just as we go forward, I myself don't want to trigger anyone but I do want to talk about suicide.

And how it has been very prevalent in the news of late.

- Absolutely.

- You know, people watching this show may want to know, are there signs?

Is there anything that we can do?

What message or what can we do as caretakers, as friends, as family members?

Is there anything that we can do when it comes to something so serious as suicide?

- Like suicide.

And it's so interesting you say that because I think our Well-being department at Baptist was created actually, this is pre-pandemic now, because of suicide, and because we had very high profiled suicides amongst our physicians.

Three physicians, three very prominent physicians in our hospital.

- So sorry.

- And that really shook up the system and said, wow wait a minute, we really need to do something.

People are hurting.

Again, pre-pandemic.

So again, and talk about stigma, talk about, you know, folks that have had a suicide in their own families rarely talk about it because it's like a mark, you know?

- And then we will automatically say, "Well they're a doctor, their life was perfect."

- Exactly.

- "Why would they?"

- It means nothing of how you look, how much you earn, where you live, what car, none of that makes a difference.

We all have demons, and struggles, and challenges within ourselves that we need to address and be open about.

But yes, suicide is a very important topic.

Another cool thing that was very, very interesting when we began our department, somebody outside the hospital system said, "Why do you have to talk so much about suicide?

Oh my goodness, will people wanna go to the hospital where people have committed suicide?

Or where staff have committed suicide?

What does that say about your working environment?"

I thought to myself, "Wow, don't you realize that this is happening everywhere?"

This is happening in every hospital system, in every organization.

People just don't talk about it.

Isn't it wonderful that we are in a hospital system that recognizes, that isn't afraid to talk about it, that isn't afraid to do something about it.

Obviously, if you have a family member, obviously trying to get help for them is extremely important.

I think making sure that that person feels valued, that they feel appreciated, that they do not feel alone, 'cause there's so many people that feel alone, is extremely important.

Try to get help, whether it is, you know, that you can accompany them, that you can say, "I'm going through this journey with you.

You will not be alone in your distress.

I will be there for you."

There's the National Association for Mental Illness, NAMI, that is phenomenal in giving individuals as well as caregivers and parents of individuals with mental illness, support groups that you can go to and get help through that.

- As you work in the mental health sphere, I mean, do you ever relate to your patients?

- Oh, yes.

- Do you ever-- - Put up a good front?

Absolutely.

- Yes, put up a good front.

- Absolutely.

I had a friend the other day said, "You seem so social and so talkative and so whatever."

And I said, "Because I pretend."

You know, a lot of us pretend many times.

- And how much do you share with your patients?

Do you let them know what you've ever gone through?

- I think if someone were to ask me straight on some of the challenges that I have, I'm very open about it, again, because I wanna be that role model or that example of that it's okay to talk about things.

And it's okay to admit that you don't know what to do and that you feel sad or lonely.

Or in my case as a caregiver, no one asked me ever how I felt or said, "Do you need anything?"

It was always focused upon the person that was actually diagnosed or had a particular illness.

But again, those of us that are dealing as caregivers, make sure if you know of anybody that's a caregiver, make sure that you reach out to them specifically and how can you help them and maybe alleviate their caretaking and maybe even give them some reprieve.

- I wonder how your hardship has molded you and how do some people thrive and others don't in these circumstances?

- Again, I think I had, especially the mom that I cared for because of her and her wonderful parenting of me, I think I grew up with a lot of self-confidence and self-assuredness, and she was very proud of me.

Which I think back a lot and a lot of the things I do, I keep thinking she's passed now for many years, but I think, "Oh I hope you're proud of me.

I'm doing this for you and because of you I'm doing this, and because of your strength that you empowered me with."

I think there's no question that we all have certain levels of resiliency and we obviously have different chemical makeups in our brains as to how easy or difficult, and experiences that mold us as to how difficult or easy it is for us to face challenges.

And by no means do I think we're all in that sense equal.

I think we're different and we all need different levels of support and of help.

But there's no question that I think my mom really believed in me.

She was very proud of me and I take that in my own life to know that I will do my best.

She's my role model.

She was the most generous and the most kind person and I strive to be that, as well.

- She's absolutely molded you and those experiences have molded you but is there something in you that would do it all over again in the same way?

- I can't tell you honestly that I would go through what I went through willingly again.

I think it was very painful at times.

I'm glad that I derive strength from it so that I can, I think, face most things pretty hardily because I did face them once at a much younger age and without experience.

And if I survived that, then I can survive other things.

So I don't think I'd willingly go back to that or go through that again, but just learned that yes, have patience with yourself, know that things do change.

Nothing stays static.

And if you're in a moment of grief or of loss that again a new day will come and a tincture of time a lot of times that people say is the best cure for letting some time pass and dealing with things.

So yes, I think that I wouldn't willingly, I think, go back, but I am grateful that it has made me a stronger person and a person that even though in this case, my mom, my grandparents aren't living anymore, but I do want them to be proud of me and I want them to know that their parenting and grandparenting made a difference in me and instilled in me a strength and a commitment that they had.

- In that vein, what do you say to our viewers that maybe feeling that there is no hope?

That the show is "Hope is Here," but sometimes we feel hopeless.

- We do feel hopeless.

- What is your message to them today?

- That give it time.

Be patient with yourself.

Be patient with yourself knowing that there's certain things that you can do to maybe distract you to take you out of your own grief at that moment, especially by helping others.

Do things like that.

Do actively seek help, seek companionship, realize that sometimes no matter how sad your own circumstances are, there are others that are going through much bigger hardships and sad moments that perhaps you can make a difference in and take you out of a little bit of your own sadness.

- Thank you so much, Dr. Viamonte Ros, for inspiring us.

And I love that your story, your advice, and your determination has made it easier for people to heal and that you pledge.

Your pledge to help others is really making a difference in our community.

I appreciate the hope that you've given others today here.

Not only here in our community, but here on "Hope is Here."

(upbeat music) (upbeat music)