VO: It's the nation's favorite antiques experts, with £200 each, a classic car and a goal to scour Britain for antiques.

That hurts.

Have I got it the right way up?

VO: The aim?

To make the biggest profit at auction, but it's no mean feat.

There'll be worthy winners and valiant losers.

I look like the Mad Hatter.

VO: So will it be the high road to glory or the slow road to disaster?

I'm only in this program to be Anita Manning's chauffeur.

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah!

VO: It's the start of a brand new week and we're with Anita Manning and Phillip Serrell in a 65 sky blue Sunbeam Alpine.

ANITA (AM): I mean I love it because it goes with my boots.

PHILIP (PS): Is that the way the week is going to go?

There are times in your life when you wish you'd got a bloke as your partner.

VO: Phil is an auctioneer from Worcester whose gruff exterior conceals the heart of a true romantic.

Does that give me a certain look?

Phil, I love you because you're daft and dangerous.

VO: Anita is also an auctioneer and even though she hails from Glasgow, the two do have something else in common.

This is going to surprise the nation here... but you and I are both ex-PE teachers, aren't we?

That's right.

I specialized in dance, not rugby.

Did you do the bump... or whatever it was, or the...?

The bump?

PS: Wasn't that a dance craze?

AM: The bump?

VO: Come on Anita, who could forget the bump?

This week's road trip starts in Ford in the far north of England and ventures into Scotland, before winding its way southwards once more, and concluding in Yorkshire at Harrogate.

The first leg kicks off in Northumberland at Ford and heads over the border to an auction in Edinburgh.

AM: Well Edinburgh is a completely different thing AM: from Glasgow.

PS: Is it?

AM: Edinburgh is more traditional so... how am I giving you all these hints?

Well, you know, cuz you're my mate, you're trying to help me.

VO: The sleepy village of Ford takes it name from a crossing of the River Till, which in Anglo Saxon times was apparently popular with nuns and monks traveling between the holy places of Iona and Lindisfarne.

It's nothing like so busy today though.

Once a humble dairy, this place is now THE destination for those seeking the unusual, the eclectic and the bizarre.

You'll find just about anything here.

I suppose these would have been the...

I don't know... what do you call them?

The pens that the cows are kept in.

Do you keep cows in a dairy?

VO: Have your ever seen an actual farm, Anita?

Bread sauce, bread sauce.

No.

no.

No he doesn't like me at all.

That is so bad that it's nearly good.

VO: Well, our two are certainly getting into the spirit of the place.

That is some sort of... well... VO: Bidet?

And it's got all the adjustments, you know.

You've got a spray, you've got a jet.

You've got everything you could require, haven't you?

I think it's a fantastic thing.

Thankfully it's out of my budget because I could see me ending up buying something like that.

VO: Oh well.

it's nice to know that even Phil has his limits.

What's Anita spotted?

AM: I'm quite interested in these prints.

They are the fashion plates of the 1860s and they show us the type of dress that women wore at that time.

It's a very sort of girly thing to buy and I know that Phil will hate them and think I'm totally mad.

They're only £9.50, I think it might be £9.50 for one, so it's pretty cheap.

VO: Time to consult Lynne.

Is it 9.50 for the pair?

VO: Nice try, Anita.

9.50 each.

They're 9.50 each.

But I could the two for 15.

Could you do them for 12?

Could you come to 12 on them?

Why not?

AM: Will we do it?

LYNNE: We'll do it.

That's lovely, thanks again.

VO: So, Anita has two pictures in the bag.

Looks like Phil's getting with the farmyard idea.

I quite like those two.

There is a sort of a bit of a chicken theme going on here, look.

VO: Not exactly antiques though are they Phil?

The thing is... will my plans come home to roost?

Ha-ha... Oh dear me, that was a really bad YOLK.

VO: Oh please... What does Keith think?

We've got them up at 20 each... PS: Yeah.

KEITH: So... Can you do £18 for the two?

Call it 20 and you've got one for nothing.

Go on then.

Is that the way it works?

KEITH: (CHUCKLES) PS: Hark at this!

PS: But I like them anyway.

KEITH: Alright.

VO: Ah, I wonder what that was used for.

Can you tell me anything about this?

LYNNE: Now, I know about that.

Can you guess what it is?

Well I thought it was perhaps the stretcher they used to carry the drunks to jail on a Saturday night.

LYNNE: It's a coffin carrier.

AM: Is it a coffin carrier?

LYNNE: It's a coffin carrier.

AM: How macabre!

It's the type of thing you could take a chance on if it was... you know, a low price.

I think it's quite a low price.

Let me check.

VO: Lynne's gone off to consult Keith, leaving Anita to ponder.

I'd pay 20 quid for that... ..just to see the expression on Phil Serrell's face.

Could this be bought for 20 quid?

I mean, what I'm doing is playing a wild card here.

I could go to auction and get £1 and I could lose 19 quid.

I think we could let it go at 30 but that would be absolutely my bottom price.

Could you come to 25?

Could we come halfway down?

Well, since it's you.

Aw, thank you so much.

Could it be a moment of madness?

VO: Now that IS unusual.

Is Anita's strategy to beat Phil at his own game?

I'm sure he'll rise to the challenge though.

Keith, I love all this sort of architectural stuff - what's that?

That's a ridge tile.

A ridge tile.

A humpback ridge tile.

What would be the point of that?

Just I think for decoration, something different on a roof, you know.

And that's glazed stoneware...

It is.

What on Earth would you do with that?

How much is that?

20 quid.

Do you know, I think that's cheap, but...

..I just don't know who would buy it.

KEITH: Mm.

VO: Yeah, who?

PS: And 20 quid is the absolute finito?

I might tweak it a little bit.

Oh right.

I could manage a tenner for it.

VO: Is he really going to buy that?

He is, you know.

Keith, thank you very, very much.

I'm going to put this in the back of the car PS: before she sees me.

KEITH: Great.

PS: Thank you very much.

Bye.

KEITH: Bye.

VO: With some, er... unusual buys on board, Anita and Phil must now hurry up and motor from Ford to Berwick Upon Tweed.

For over 400 years this market town was fought over by the English and the Scots.

Although it's been English since 1482, a recent poll suggested that 80% of residents would rather be under Scottish rule, and there are enough ramparts around here to remind us that you can never say never.

Knowing Phil, he'll probably pick up a battlement going cheap.

This place looks like a real mixed bag.

Part antique, part charity shop.

But the man from Worcester is quick to spot something.

Hells bells, 250.

Should... Is that £2.50?

I'm joking man.

I just wanted to see your face when you saw 250.

VO: Now I thought I did the jokes around here, Tom.

Now if you pull that off I think there's a proper price tag underneath.

Really?

And is that your... 40 quid!

TOM: Too cheap isn't it?

Is that your shop price?

Too cheap.

It's a piece of Royal Worcester.

G161.

That's the pattern number of it and if you look in the pattern book it will tell you that 161 is a small squat fluted vase and the G will tell you that it came from originally the Grainger's factory.

TOM: Well there you go.

PS: OK, and then it's got there, it's got a little square and as if by magic if you look just there a square will tell you that was made in 1928.

TOM: Genius.

VO: I think he's done this before, you know.

So we know how old it is.

Who's it by?

That's the question.

Do you know who it's by?

There's a name on it.

PS: James Stinton.

VO: The Stinton dynasty dates back as far as the early 19th century.

For four generations the various family members painted china, with each specializing in particular scenes.

For James it was pheasants.

And their work is massively collectable.

I don't think it's damaged or restored in any way has it?

No.

Definitely not.

Er...

I'm sort of embarrassed to ask.

£40 I presume is your best price.

Yes.

What I'm going to ask...

I thought it was cheap at 40.

35.

Well I'm going to buy it off you.

Let me tell you I think that's worth between £200-300.

VO: I think Tom might need to sit down now.

But I'm really, really pleased.

Thank you very much.

TOM: You're welcome.

PS: I'm gonna buy that off you, that's 35, and you've been so kind - that's not true.

I love this as well.

VO: This angling guide is by the Hardy family who started as gunsmiths in nearby Alnwick in 1872, but later made their name with fishing equipment.

I just think that's fantastic.

What's the best you can do on that?

Bearing in mind you've just got a really cheap vase...

I have, I have, I have.

40 quid.

Can I give you 35 quid for that?

Go on.

You're a gentleman.

VO: That WAS quick work.

I think he's rather pleased with those.

While Phil has been snaffling the bargains of Berwick, Anita has gone a few miles down the road to Paxton House.

Designed by John Adam in the mid-18th century, Paxton is one of the finest examples of neo-Palladian architecture in the whole of Scotland.

And Anita's about to meet Martha, her guide.

Martha, I'm Anita.

Hello, nice to see you.

VO: The house was built for the young laird Patrick Home on his return from the Grand Tour, and Paxton is packed with reminders of his adventures.

MARTHA: This is a young lad, about the age of 17, and he was sent off to university in Prussia.

Right.

At Leipzig.

So he went to the court of Fredrick the Great of Prussia.

Right, and I suppose that court would have been in the circuit of the Grand Tour.

I mean, did he do the Grand Tour?

Oh absolutely yes.

He eventually left the court and then spent another two years wandering around Europe.

Quite a nice-looking guy.

Oh yes.

Oh yes.

AM: (CHUCKLES) I could fancy him myself!

VO: Young Patrick was a sort of real life Barry Lyndon.

Catapulted from sleepy Scotland to the romance of 18th century Europe, and dressed to kill.

Oh wow!

These are just some of the clothes that Patrick wore.

We've got this beautiful brocade waistcoat and you can see the gold around the button holes and these really fancy buttons.

And then we've got this one and this would have had a matching blue wool coat.

With these beautiful silver embroidery.

Well of course the 18th century was all about opulence, extravagance, ornamentation to the nth degree.

Shoes with buckles... Oh absolutely.

Powdered hair!

As much as you could get.

You just wanted to show how great, how wonderful and how rich you were.

VO: But for all his finery, life took a sad turn for the young man from Scotland.

He fell madly in love with a beautiful young lady-in-waiting, but when her mother forbade them to be married, Patrick was left only with her gloves.

It seems he went on quite a spending spree to console himself and acquired many treasures - including this rosewood inlaid table cabinet.

Stunning piece of furniture.

MARTHA: It's based on Hercules, because here we've got Hercules here on the cupboard door.

So all these little drawer fronts are illustrating the labors of Hercules and one or two of the other Greek myths.

And at the moment we've counted 48 little drawers all the way through.

VO: 48 drawers eh?

What would you need all those for?

Well, some of them are secret and concealed to hold hidden treasure.

He bought it in Italy and he bought as we would buy an antique.

It's made in the mid-17th century, so it was 100 years old, over that, when he was buying it.

AM: It's a wonderful, wonderful cabinet and I really haven't seen anything as beautiful as that for a long time.

VO: In the early 19th century a brand new east wing was added to Paxton.

This is the gallery that they built in the '20s.

AM: (GASPS) MARTHA: You can just imagine what it was like when it was first hung with the paintings.

Oh.

This is heaven.

VO: Although the original paintings Patrick acquired are now dispersed, an important collection of late 18th and early 19th century paintings from the National Gallery of Scotland have taken their place.

AM: And that wonderful dome.

(SIGHS) I want a room like this.

VO: The house today flourishes but Patrick's life never lived up to all that youthful promise.

Whilst he was away on his Grand Tour, his mother was horribly murdered, and when he did marry it was to a woman who was soon pronounced "mentally unstable".

MARTHA: There he is at the end there.

Portrait of Patrick.

He became MP for Berwick, he went to live in a small rented house in London with just his housekeeper for company.

And we've got a letter from one of his friends and the gist of it is, "Dear Patrick, "you really must try and get out more."

So from bright, young thing to poor lonely old hermit.

AM: What a shame.

VO: Oh dear.

I hope that sad note doesn't discourage our pair for long, because after all, it's been a very good day.

Nighty-night.

Next morning, the mood in the Sunbeam is best described as... mixed.

You're not going to be this sort of smiley, cheery person the whole all week, are you?

I can't help it!

It's going to wear me out, absolutely wear me out.

Would you please not be this happy all the time?

But my face isn't made for miserable.

No, that's true.

And mine is.

VO: Yesterday Phil picked up a piece of his favorite Worcester, with pheasants on it, as well as a couple of bowls with chicken designs and the Hardy's Anglers Guide.

Plus a roof tile.

He spent exactly £100, leaving the same amount to spend today.

PS: I've either got three things that I can make one lot or three things that I can make two lots or three things I can make three lots.

Sorry, you're yawning.

Am I boring you?

VO: Don't know about that.

Anita acquired a pair of framed fashion prints and an oak coffin carrier, for just £37.

Why, I'll never know.

She, cannily enough, therefore, has £163 left to spend.

"The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley."

VO: Quite.

Our two are now actually in Scotland... and heading for that big auction in Edinburgh, starting out in the rain at Innerleithen...

Cheers, Anita.

AM: Bye-bye, darling.

VO: ..where Phil's about to put shopping aside and take a trip back in time.

Behind this unassuming shop front is a unique piece of industrial heritage.

PS: Hi.

JEN: Hello.

I'm Philip.

How are you?

I'm Jen.

Nice to meet you.

This is a fantastic building.

So this Robert Smail's Print Works?

That's right, here in Innerleithen.

They set up when?

19th century?

1866.

Never had much of a clear-out, did they?

No.

That's the lovely thing about the Smails - they never modernized and they never threw anything away.

VO: When, after 120 years, the family finally gave up the unequal struggle against new technology, the National Trust stepped in to create a working museum of printing.

PS: This is the type room, is it?

JEN: The case room.

PS: Case room.

Called the case room simply because it's where you store all your cases of type.

And we've got 400 cases of type.

And a case is a... what, a literal wooden case...

It is.

..that contains letters of the alphabet?

Yeah.

You're absolutely right.

And for each alphabet you'd have two cases.

You'd have your upper case, which sits on the upper part of the rack - that's where you put your capital letters.

Your lower case, the small... PS: And it's as simple as that?

JEN: It is, yeah.

And it was really important that you put them back into right place, because the type, when it's cast, is cast in mirror image, and apprentices were always told to mind their Ps and Qs, because the P would look like a Q, a Q would look like a P. So you'd have to remember that and put it in the right place.

Oh, I love the expressions like that.

PS: So "your Ps and Qs"... JEN: Yeah.

PS: ..comes from...?

JEN: Come from... PS: There's a Q. JEN: Q. Yeah.

Er, I've got to remember where I got this from.

And there's a P. So, er...

So if it looks like a P, it must be a Q. I tell you what, that is confusing, isn't it?

VO: Downstairs in the machine room, Smail's continues to print on ancient letterpress machines like the Arab Clamshell Platen, the Wharfedale Reliance and the Original Heidelberg.

It is like being at Wimbledon, isn't it?!

It is!

Without the strawberries!

VO: Miller and Richard's, in nearby Edinburgh, were a major type foundry, supplying type to the world, and the archives of Smail's reflects the importance of printing.

They're a fascinating social history of the first industrial age.

We've got this one, which is quite interesting, which is a poster, again 1912, the coming of women's suffrage to the town.

Really?

So this has actually been done in two sections.

Right.

And then that would be pasted up together.

So it's a precursor for the modern billboard.

VO: They once printed a newspaper on these premises and acted as a shipping agency, booking passages to the new world.

Responsible work, and the letterpress typesetter was at the center of it all.

No wonder it took a seven year apprenticeship.

I wonder what Phil can learn in an hour.

It's left to right.

So you're setting it exactly the same way as you would write it, but remember we talked about the letters being mirror image, so you have to set them upside... PS: Let me... JEN: ..upside-down.

I'm going to do my name, right?

JEN: Yeah.

PS: So... Now, wherever the little label is, it's the space below.

Oh right.

That's the first mistake then.

So I was just about to be "Hilip Serrell", was I?

You were.

Right, so that goes there?

That's it.

Now, you'll see, each of the letters have got a little nick or a groove on them, and that helps you get them up the right way.

So if you can see... Yeah, I've got them... You're a natural.

Well done.

Yeah, I know.

But the only way to find out, really, if it's right is to take a proof of it.

VO: Now, apply the ink, grab some paper, get a hold of the handle of the mighty Columbian Eagle Press and... pull.

Is that you, sir?

Good Lord above - it is as well.

JEN: Well done.

PS: Oh, I'm going to keep that!

JEN: (CHUCKLES) Excellent.

VO: Well done, Phil.

And to cap it all, you've successfully spelt your own name.

Meanwhile, Anita has, with equal aplomb, made her way from Innerleithen to Melrose.

Several well-known rugby players hail from Melrose.

It also has a fine ruined abbey.

Oh yeah, and it welcomes careful drivers.

Steady, Anita!

Now this looks like a very nice little shop - the sort of place where Anita might just spot something shiny.

Ah!

Like that, for example.

Or that.

This is a lovely item here.

This is a... is the perfect christening gift.

And this would've been a gift for a very well off little baby.

VO: And what with the price of silver, it may be a bit too dear for our Anita today.

But as well as that puppy, it seems there's an elephant in this room.

Can I lift this up and have a good wee look at it?

VO: And another.

I like those.

It'd be nice to get them at a reasonable price.

Are they the type of thing that the posh Edinburgh folk will buy?

Yes.

Yes, actually.

It... Are they as sophisticated as the Glasgow crowd?

Differently!

VO: Good answer, Sue.

What I'm doing here is I'm trying to avoid coming straight out and saying, "What sort of pri...?"

You know, I mean, it could be a way out of my price or it might not.

Erm... £90 the pair.

VO: Mm.

Not exactly jumbo... but worth thinking about.

Is there anything in here which you think is a good buy or is this all too expensive for me?

I mean, what I like is that lovely art-deco ring there.

That's gorgeous.

But I know that that will be outwith my price range.

It's...

It's not diamonds, Anita.

It's not diamonds?!

No, no.

It's... Looks the part, doesn't it?

Mm.

It's got to be £75.

I'm selling it on behalf of... Yeah, yeah.

..a client, and, erm...

The design is lovely, isn't it?

Good sparkle as well.

Cuz when she showed me it, I was, "Oh!"

"£75?

Yes, I'll take it right away!"

So it's got to be... that's got to be 75?

DEALER: Yeah, that has to be.

AM: Yep.

VO: But if they're actually not diamonds, is it worth it?

Now, I think I have got to have a go at these elephant tables.

I think that these elephant tables might just be me, and I would also like to have a go at the ring but is there no negotiation on the ring at all?

No, no.

On the tables, I was thinking round about 50.

Is that...?

No.

No, they'd have to be more than 50.

They'd have to be more than 50?

Mm-hm.

Can we come anywhere near that?

65.

Is 60 out of it altogether?

Alright, 60.

Will we go to 60?

Mm-hm.

Aha, that's great.

That's lovely.

DEALER: OK.

Thank you.

AM: Thank you very much.

And do you know, I'm so pleased, because I just fell in love with them.

VO: So, Anita's splashed £135 on the elephant tables and the ring with the paste diamonds... ..leaving her just enough cash for one more buy, motoring further north from Melrose to Danderhall.

Well, they started out in a dairy and now they've arrived at a couple of industrial units, ready to get their hands dirty and have a rummage.

That Black Beauty - he was a dark horse.

The fingers are looking for silver and gold, zzzz.

These are called Codd's bottles, and they are great fun these, cuz in the 19th... You used to have a little wooden tool that you put onto the top and you bashed it and then it knocked that marble down to the bottom, so you could drink out of it, and then kids used to smash these bottles and they would play marbles with the marble inside.

And they can be massively collectable, depending upon what it says on the front.

This has got Manchester on it, which won't be a great deal of help in Edinburgh, I don't think.

VO: Now, they might appeal.

Murano glass, from the 1960s.

It's got bags of style.

VO: Murano glass, famous for its color, is from the Venetian island of the same name.

The glassmakers were allegedly encouraged to move there from nearby Venice, because of the fire hazards involved with their trade.

One is marked up at £15 and the other one is marked up at 25, so that's 40 quid for both of them.

Now, I don't want to pay £40 for both of them.

I haven't got £40 to spend.

VO: Actually Anita you've only got £28, so you can't afford the asking price for that either.

It's a little oak table, art deco in style.

It's...

There is not a lot to it, but the simplicity is what people like today.

Solid oak, it is not veneered.

It's a nice little thing.

VO: While Anita ponders spending her last few pounds, cash rich Phil is busy once more with architectural salvage.

That's gonna be the mother to move, that is.

VO: But what on Earth is it?

Oh!

What d'you reckon it was?

Was it like the keystone of a bridge then?

It was sort of set into the middle of the bridge?

VO: Hang on - there's more junk.

I mean salvage.

This is clearly a radiator.

You've got a bit here.

I don't know whether that's actually for putting stuff in or lighting a fire on.

I would think it's probably around 1900.

It's cast-iron.

May have had pipes coming out of here originally.

I really, really don't know.

So, what do you think is more Serrell - a radiator that might be for warming your feet, or part of a bridge?

VO: Now that's a real poser.

But while Phil wrestles with metal, Anita's moved on to the bargaining stage.

It's a wee gem.

I'd be looking maybe in the region of £18.

That would be too little for me.

Could it come anywhere near that?

It would have to be, it would have to be around 25.

DEALER: Couldn't be any less... AM: Around 25?

DEALER: ..than 25.

Mm-hm.

AM: Yeah, aha.

Erm, what about on the glass, if I wanted to go on the glass?

Mm-hm.

I could do the two for 30.

Could you come to 25 on the two glasses?

27 is the best on the glass.

Right.

I've got 28... DEALER: Mm-hm.

AM: ..that I can spend.

Right.

But I want to keep a couple of quid, so that I don't... ..spend everything, so that at least I can carry £2 on to the next thing, do you know what I mean?

I know it sounds daft.

DEALER: Take the glass then, at 27.

I mean, that is so sort of '60s, isn't it?

And that shape is a wee bit more unusual.

OK, we'll take a chance and go on it.

DEALER: OK, great.

AM: Thank you very much.

DEALER: Thanks a lot.

VO: So two pieces of glass for £27 - just £1 left, then.

He's definitely plumped for the bridge bit, but the dealer seems a bit shy.

Can I give you 30 quid for it?

DEALER: Not really.

PS: Get it out of your way?

There's too...

It's not in my way - it can sit there forever, you know.

But it has.

But this is a shop, not a museum.

I'll give you 35 quid for that.

PS: And then it's out... DEALER: Are you gonna lift it?

Well, I'll get it lifted.

When?

Soon.

I'll give you 35 quid.

Have it for 30 quid if you lift it the day - there you are.

OK, you're on.

Away, out off these premises the day.

Yeah.

You're on.

40 quid if you dinnae.

30 quid, done deal.

Got a tenner?

Well, gie us the 40 quid.

I'll gie you the tenner back when you've taken it away.

Hark at this!

It'll be moved today, I promise you.

Right, well you'll get the tenner back.

PS: 30 quid if it's moved today?

DEALER: Yes.

PS: You're on.

DEALER: You get a tenner back DEALER: if you move it the day.

PS: Good man, thanks very much.

VO: Well done Phil.

I think.

Plus a £10 discount if he can only shift it quick.

My new mate here, international man of mystery.

No-one knows who he is.

VO: Oh, look - Phil's got some wheels already, and his £10 change too.

Don't think I should've bought this.

VO: How far's he going to get with that though?

Not in the Sunbeam.

VO: Oh, well done, Phil.

If I'd have known that, I'd have bought the whole bridge.

VO: (CHUCKLES) OK, time to own up.

What's under them covers?

OK, are you ready?

Yeah, I'm ready.

I'm going to peel... these wonderful things off... ..and let you... see them.

What the hell is that?

AM: (LAUGHS) PS: What is that?

AM: Isn't that wonderful?

PS: No.

VO: Go on Phil, say something nice for a change.

I sort of quite like the top, but I'm not quite sure about the Dumbo bit on the bottom.

PS: How much were they?

AM: I know.

60 quid.

Are you still taking those tablets?

Go on, let's have a look.

Now, let me guess.

AM: OK. PS: Is that sort of... your Scottish glass?

AM: No, it's not Scottish glass.

PS: No?

Scandinavian?

It's Italian glass.

So, it was somewhere in Europe.

I was almost close.

You were near, aha.

And how much were they?

I paid £27 for those, alright.

So, we've got a bit of girly stuff down here.

Girly stuff down here.

Yeah?

Yeah, I wanted to buy a piece of jewelry.

How did you buy that under budget?

Well...

I bought it for 75 quid.

Well, that's nothing isn't it?

Well, I hope so.

The ring has been changed at one point, down here.

May I look?

You can certainly have, as long as you don't ask me if you... AM: if I'll marry you.

PS: No, no, no, no, no.

Er, and my last item is...

It's a Philip Serrell affair here.

VO: This should be interesting.

Stanington Parish?

Yeah.

So, it's that coffin carrier, isn't it?

It's a coffin carrier.

VO: I think he likes it.

So, tell me, how much have you paid overall?

How much have you spent?

I've spent... £199 in total.

I think your ring's a winner.

VO: Is it Phil?

Don't think they're diamonds, you know.

Erm...

I'd sort of possibly worry about those two.

Mm-hm.

And I think that is actually quite fun.

I paid £25, and that, I don't think that's bad.

No, no.

Where's Stanington?

I think it's some place in Greece.

I don't think that's going to help you too much.

Is it my moment now?

Show me now.

Let's just whip this off here.

Oh!

You ready for this last one?

Alright.

Oh, is that...?

What is that?

PS: Well... AM: What is it?

Yeah, I was hoping you wouldn't ask that.

What is it?

It's a ridge tile, and it suddenly dawned on me after I'd bought it that having ONE of them actually ain't a lot of use to anybody, is it?

How much did you pay for that?

Er... £10.

This is my favorite bit.

Look at this.

Right.

What, that scabby old book?

Wash your mouth out, woman!

This is Hardy's annual.

AM: Right.

PS: Look at all this, right.

(YAWNS) Hey, easy!

Listen, hold on a minute... 1926 - isn't this just fabulous?

£35.

This was a little beauty, look.

A little Royal Worcester vase.

Mr Worcester, Mr Worcester.

Well, a little Royal Worcester vase by James Stinton.

PS: Have a look.

AM: Aw!

The... the painting on that is exquisite, isn't it?

Yeah, he was a good man, and I think at auction, I'm hoping it'll do between... Should do a minimum, I would think, of 120, 180 and if you have a good day it's like 200, £300.

Oh, I know.

Worcester is one of your passions.

It's also one of your passions to buy these stupid useless things, but, I mean, as a piece of sculpture, and for £10... Can I just stop you for one minute?

Stupid, useless things?

Just come with me a sec.

VO: Saved the best till last, eh?

PS: (GROANS) OK, you can turn round now.

What on Earth is that?

Well, I'm not actually sure, if the truth be known, but I can tell you it was made in 1848.

There's only one sort of problem I have with it, really, having bought it - what would you do with it?

Well, I don't know.

I mean, how much did you pay for it?

PS: £30.

AM: £30?

You'd get more than that in scrap.

Yeah.

And I'll tell you something else, there's a scrap yard... PS: Just down there?

AM: Just down there.

Oh, right, I've seen it.

I'm off there now.

This is heavy.

VO: Now, your true thoughts.

I think Anita's done really, really well, and I think her real ace is that ring, cuz if those are diamonds, that's surely gonna be worth £300.

This group of things that Philip has bought is so Philip Serrell.

Wonderful, delicate little piece of Worcester and that big cast iron bridge thingy.

The elephants... well, you know, I can't quite see those at all.

At 60 quid, that seems like a pile of money.

VO: It's the day of the auction and they haven't got far to go.

PS: Which way's north?

AM: That way.

PS: Is that Jess... AM: That way or that way.

Where's the sun?

This is not...

The sun?

Where's the sun?

We're in Scotland, what sun?

Yeah, there's sun.

There's no sun at all, you silly woman!

Where's the sun?

What sun?

It's hosing down with rain... Where's the sun.

It's gray, there's no sun anywhere.

VO: After starting out in Ford, the first part our trip will end up in Edinburgh... eventually.

Ah!

As capital city and heart of the Scottish Enlightenment, dominated by the castle, Edinburgh has many famous and infamous buildings.

Like the expensive parliament.

Anyone seen any salmon rising?

AM: I'm quite excited.

(CHUCKLES) I love the thrill of anticipation of a new auction.

Well, it looks like a shop as well, doesn't it?

Yeah.

VO: This is Shapes Auctioneers, where they recently sold a pair of Sir Walter Scott's slippers for £3,000.

So, while the Edinburghers take a peek at the treasures, let's hear what auctioneer Gavin Lindsay thinks of what Anita and Phil have bought.

I think they've got a bit of a mixed bag.

The Worcester vase by James Stinton should do quite well.

We've had the ring under the diamond tester and unfortunately it doesn't look like they're diamonds, so it's a nice thing for the ladies, or for someone as a quick present who'll claim it's a diamond and see if he can get a smile out of it.

VO: Anita began with £200 and she's spent a total of £199 on five auction lots.

I owe you some change.

For a cup of tea?

VO: Phil also started out with £200 and he's spent £130 on five auction lots.

Humpback ridge tile.

Why on Earth would you want a hump back ridge tile?

VO: OK, almost ready.

Oh dear, I think they call this breaking news.

I tell you what, it really doesn't help when one of your own crew go and drop it, does it?

VO: Ooh-ah!

So now it's up to Gavin to estimate what it would have sold for.

We had a 30-40 estimate, and the insurance will cover that, so I would say about £35 for something that's been damaged.

Could be a good day for them.

I've made 20 quid by breaking something.

How cool is that?

Where's the sledgehammer?

I'm gonna... Yeah, I'm going to rip into everything now.

VO: Quick let's get started, before anything else gets bust.

Lindsay Brown is in the rostrum.

(MUTTERS) Getting the wobbles.

I didn't know you were a nervous type.

Look at me, I'm like a coiled spring.

VO: First up, the Worcester vase.

Phil has high hopes for this one.

I'll take 70.

Any interest at 70?

Oh, you do surprise me.

No hands in the air.

50 I'll take, 50.

55, 60, 65, 70, 75.

75 is our bid.

On my right at 75.

If we're all out...

I'd be surprised if that's all it sells for.

LINDSAY: Are you sure you don't want to put your hand up?

PS: That is ridiculously cheap.

LINDSAY: I will sell.

£80 online, £80, and he's out.

It's £80 on the net then.

PS: It's still for nothing.

LINDSAY: I will sell at £80.

Ouch!

Any last offers?

Selling then.

LINDSAY: It's very cheap... PS: That's for nothing.

..but we will sell, at £80.

If were all out?

Selling at £80.

LINDSAY: £80.

AM: Oh!

VO: That was way short of the £200 he wanted, but what with that and the broken tile, the wily old fox is off to a solid start.

Well, I don't mind.

It's just a game.

It doesn't matter who wins.

Very much.

VO: What can his chickens do?

Anyone interested at 20 for the two items?

Thank you very much madam, I see you.

£20 seated.

It's not just losing money with it.

Looking for 25.

Selling then, to the maiden bid at £20, to the lady seated.

Last chance.

LINDSAY: All out at £20.

(GAVEL) PS: That just cost me three quid.

VO: Yes, a loss after commission.

But you're still... you're still in the lead here.

You haven't sold anything yet!

VO: OK Anita's first lot, the Murano glass.

£10 then?

10.

Thank you, thank you sir.

£10.

Is there 15 going on?

15, I see you.

20?

Got to be worth it, you're getting two.

Go for it.

£20, do you want to bid?

I have 20 online, so you're too late.

There you go.

20, online.

And the lady is out also, so selling online at £20.

25, I see you.

Thank you.

25 we have.

LINDSAY: Seated in the middle... AM: Come on!

LINDSAY: Someone with some taste, there we go.

25, 25.

It's good value for money, isn't it?

I know, but I've still made a loss.

VO: Now Phil, behave yourself.

They are all related to her.

They only live up the road, all of them.

VO: Right, they're definitely not diamonds but will it sparkle anyway?

Where shall we say, ladies, £20 to start this one?

£20.

For heaven's sake.

Is there any interest at 10 then?

10, I see you.

I have 15 here, 20, 25 here with me, £30?

£30 seated in the room.

35, 40, 45, 50, 55?

It's very twinkly, you won't regret it.

Last call at 55, at 55, and selling then at 55.

You'd have taken that 10 minutes ago, wouldn't you?

Could have been worse.

VO: Another loss.

What's next, Anita?

So, we've got the coffin carrier.

I love that - fun thing.

I hope it doesn't bury you.

AM: Fun?

PS: (LAUGHS) VO: Ah!

He just wished he'd spotted it.

OK, shift change.

Gavin's now at the helm.

30 we have, straight in.

£30, £30, anywhere else, 30.

AM: Oh, come on!

GAVIN: 35.

40, 45, 50...

It'll make 80 quid, this will.

55, 60.

GAVIN: 65, 70... AM: Come on!

Good girl.

70, still standing, £70.

Anybody else?

£70.

It's an unusual lot, £70.

(GAVEL) Maybe it was the type of item that Edinburgh would love.

Well it wasn't a dead loss, was it?

VO: No, it carried off a few pounds instead!

(SAD FANFARE) Philip, we're approaching the moment of truth.

VO: OK, Edinburgh - are you ready for this?

Hope you've got a strong boot, and some good muscles to move this one out.

And who will start me off at 20?

I'll sell this for 20.

20 we have.

£20 then, against you all, 20.

Still seated.

Last chance.

25, new bidder, 25, 30, 35, £35.

I will sell then.

£35.

Any last chance?

(GAVEL) GAVIN: 35.

I hope you brought your truss with you.

Yeah.

Have you lifted that thing?

Not yet.

All the best.

VO: So someone actually wants the middle of a bridge!

It's your lot now, darling.

Sh!

Concentrate.

Isn't that a wonderful...

It's in wonderful condition, isn't it?

Wonderful condition.

VO: What will Phil's dog-eared book make?

A copy of Hardy's Anglers' Guide, 48th edition.

Slightly used condition.

Whose side are you on?

Who'll start us off at 20?

£20 we have.

£20 in the room.

£20 I have standing at the back of the room.

PS: Can I bid on this?

GAVIN: Anybody else?

PS: Oh no, we... GAVIN: Still standing, £20.

I'm going to sell this at £20.

On the maiden bid.

First come, first served.

That's just cost me 20 quid.

Oh, darling.

I spent...

If you... D'you know, you're so insincere.

VO: Another one gets away.

Anita's behind though, thanks to her diamond ring without the diamonds.

Philip, my little elephant tables are coming up now and I'm very, very happy to see that they are in the elephant section.

What d'you mean, elephant section?

How many lots are there in the elephant section?

AM: One.

PS: What?

Oh great(!)

VO: Watch out, heffalumps about.

Not Phil's favorites I seem to remember.

Go on somebody, £30.

Liven up your life.

You can see someone is keen to move these.

AM: Yes!

GAVIN: £20, that's £10 each.

Oh no!

That's what we've got.

£20 in the room.

Come on, somebody.

Put the hammer down.

It's worth a fiver for the fun.

Sell 'em!

GAVIN: 25.

AM: Yes!

GAVIN: 25, 30.

AM: Yes!

GAVIN: 35, 40.

AM: Yes!

45.

Anybody else?

The woman is deranged.

In the room, at £45.

Last chance.

Fair warning.

(GAVEL) PS: Can I just get this right?

So, you are Glasgow's leading fine arts and antiques auctioneer, and you've put your name to those?

Yeah, they're lovely.

VO: No stampede into profits though.

The adrenalin is beginning to surge.

Yeah, it is.

Are you excited for me?

Oh, I'm having a job to contain myself.

VO: Finally Anita's pictures.

Bought cheaply - so there must be a profit here.

£10.

£10 surely.

GAVIN: £10 anyone, £10?

AM: Oh go on!

GAVIN: Fiver for the two.

AM: Oh no!

GAVIN: Surely.

Come on.

£5.

You can see it means something to somebody.

GAVIN: £5 I have.

£5.

AM: 10.

10.

Anybody else?

£5.

AM: 10.

GAVIN: £10 I have.

AM: Yes!

GAVIN: £10, on the right.

PS: Absolute... GAVIN: 15.

AM: Yes!

GAVIN: £15.

There's just no justice at all.

GAVIN: 15 I have, 15.

GAVIN: 20, £20.

AM: Yes!

25?

£20.

20.

(GAVEL) GAVIN: That's yours at £20.

Do you know what?

They were robbed.

AM: (LAUGHS) PS: Absolutely robbed.

VO: Oh dear!

Another measly profit after commission.

That means Phil carries a disappointing day.

He at least has more than he started out with.

VO: After paying auction costs, Anita's got just £177.30 to spend tomorrow.

VO: Phil on the other hand made a tiny profit, leaving £225.80 in his pocket.

Cor blimey!

That didn't go quite according to plan, did it?

Yeah, well, we'll let the winner drive the limo.

Ugh!

I'm only in this program to be Anita Manning's chauffeur.

VO: Next time on the Antiques Road Trip, Phil has high hopes...

This place, it's like waking up on Christmas morning.

VO: And Anita, great expectations.

All I need now is a man.

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