[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: The nation's favorite celebrities-- Got some proper bling here.

NARRATOR: --paired up with an expert-- What?

What?

Calm down [INAUDIBLE] NARRATOR: --and a classic car.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] Their mission?

To scour Britain for antiques.

All breakages must be paid for.

This is a good find, is it not?

NARRATOR: The aim?

To make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no easy ride.

Who will find a hidden gem?

Who will take the biggest risks?

I'll have my antiques head on.

NARRATOR: Will anybody follow expert advice?

Oh, that is horrible.

NARRATOR: There will be worthy winners-- This is better than Christmas.

NARRATOR: --and valiant losers.

Sorry.

NARRATOR: Time to put your pedal to the metal.

[SHOUTING] This is "Celebrity Antiques Road Trip."

[MUSIC PLAYING] Yeah.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Today, we're in the Midlands with two powerhouses of the poetry world, old pals Benjamin Zephaniah and Roger McGough.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Be prepared if you google the things like-- No, I haven't done anything like that.

But look, I mean, I was thinking about it.

What are we going to do?

And then I thought, we don't really have to do anything.

We've got to find something we like, buy them, sell them.

I'm going to win.

You're going to lose.

Yeah, I knew that, actually.

And the program.

That's it.

I'm not competitive, really.

I mean, even at running.

You know, I used to be called a good runner.

But my-- my trouble with-- with being a runner, I didn't like overtaking people.

I was-- - What?

--a bit-- a bit rude.

No, I did.

So-- so I'm running and someone's coming next to me, I'll say, I let them win.

Because, obviously, they really want to.

[MUSIC - THE SCAFFOLD, "LILY THE PINK"] We'll drink a drink-- NARRATOR: Roger kicked off his career as a member of the 1960s chart-topping band, The Scaffold.

[MUSIC - THE SCAFFOLD, "LILY THE PINK"] For she invented-- Roger's success in the music scene saw him rub shoulders with cultural icons like Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix, and the Beatles.

Now an award-winning poet, children's author, and broadcaster, Roger was awarded a CBE in 2004 and presents the world's longest running radio poetry show, "Poetry "Please," on Radio 4.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Bill, I've known you so long ago, I don't know what school you went to.

I don't know if you had books at home.

I didn't.

I wasn't encouraged to read.

And, you know, when I suggested to family members that I really wanted to be a poet, it was trouble.

Get a job, man, you know?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I remember one of my relatives said, you know, name a writer that you know that's earning money.

And I went-- I went, Bill.

And she went, Bill who?

I went, Bill Shakespeare.

She went, him dead long time.

And you'll be dead too if you go on with this writing business.

So there was no-- nobody encouraged me, really.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Lack of encouragement certainly didn't hold Benjamin back from becoming a world class writer, musician, political activist, and dub poet.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Not only has he graced "The Times'" list of top British writers, but his first children's publication went into emergency reprint to meet demand.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Not just a celebrated poet, Benjamin is also a fierce campaigner of both human and animal rights and is an ambassador of the vegan society.

[MUSIC PLAYING] On this trip, our pair of poets are taking to the open road in this classy 1978 Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: I love classic cars.

I go to classic car shows, just look at cars.

I watch the programs.

I made my own car.

I took an old-- You made your own car?

Yeah, I took a chassis from an old Triumph and just rebuilt it, not in a typical Triumph, where I put a faster engine in it.

I upgraded it.

I put Ferrari bits in it so it's a-- it's a hybrid.

You're like, if cars could have children, they'd have a car like mine.

I call it a mixed race car.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Guiding our celebrities are two expert auctioneers, Natasha Raskin and Philip Serrell.

They're driving a Ford Zodiac, manufactured in 1960 before seatbelts were mandatory.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Who-- who are we going to work with today then?

Well-- I, sort of, have a bit of a preference in a way.

I've got to tell you that.

- You have a preference?

- Well, all sorts of them.

Hit me.

Hit me.

Well, Roger, see, he was in Scaffold.

And I used to love "Lily the Pink."

What's Scaffold?

What?

What about you and Benjamin?

Oh, I'm a bit of a Benjamin Zephaniah fan.

Really?

Yeah, I am.

Oh, really?

Oh, that's cool.

Because he's so expressive.

And he's so emotive.

And if you ever watch him on television, he just says exactly what you think.

And he's so-- yeah, in such a polite way.

He's never-- he's never rude or abrasive.

But he can be controversial.

And oh, I'm excited.

NARRATOR: Glad to hear it.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Once paired up, our teams will hit the road with 400 pounds each, starting their journey in Kettering, Northamptonshire.

They'll shop around the Midlands before finishing up at an auction in Leicester.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Oh, wow.

This is amazing.

Look at that.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Hello.

NATASHA RASKIN: Just like that.

- [INAUDIBLE] stuff.

ROGER MCGOUGH: You must be Phil.

PHILIP SERRELL: Phil.

NATASHA RASKIN: Hello.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Hello.

NATASHA RASKIN: Good morning.

- How are you?

Roger, good to see you.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: I thought that would be my run around.

ROGER MCGOUGH: Good-- good to see you.

It's so lovely to meet you.

[INAUDIBLE] - Lovely to meet you.

- How are you?

You are great.

[LAUGHTER] BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: So you're Philip.

How are you, my friend?

Good to see you.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] PHILIP SERRELL: Lovely to see you.

NATASHA RASKIN: Nice to meet you.

How are you?

ROGER MCGOUGH: Very well, yeah.

NATASHA RASKIN: [INAUDIBLE].

I hang out in rollers all the time, you know.

[LAUGHTER] - [INAUDIBLE] .

It's the only way to travel, isn't it?

[INAUDIBLE].

Well, we'd better go and buy something, hadn't we?

I know.

We've already decided who we want to go with.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Yes?

- I've poached you.

Yes.

- Phil's poached Roger.

- Yes.

Sorry.

Sorry, Phil.

So these are our teams.

Don't get too excited.

No, well, we'd better go, hadn't we?

NATASHA RASKIN: Yeah.

NARRATOR: Time to hit the road, chaps.

NATASHA RASKIN: Do you want to drive?

ROGER MCGOUGH: And do you always have lights?

I will try my best to-- you too.

And don't be-- it's-- it's only-- it's only antiques, you know.

Yeah, it's only a game.

I'll get you, Roger McGough.

[LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: And they're off.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Roger and Philip are making their way to Higham Ferrers.

Have you never been a driver?

No, never have.

Never had the-- never wanted to, really.

And what's funny is so many poets don't drive.

So I did write a poem-- - Oh.

- --as is my world.

Am I going to hear this?

Yeah, you may if-- if you're good.

Promise to be good for it.

About why I don't drive.

It's called "Repelled by Metal."

You won't-- you won't like it.

- No, I will.

I will.

I will.

I don't drive, I'm afraid, never had the inclination or the need.

Being anti-magnetic, I'm repelled by metal and unimpressed by speed.

Nor am I being holier than thou.

Thou at a godsend to be candid.

You with a car and a welcoming smile.

Without your lift, I'd be stranded.

It's not that I dislike cars.

They're noisy and dangerous, I daresay.

Money eaters and poisonous excreters, OK. For I don't dislike cars, per se.

It's just that I know my limitations.

I'd be all thumbs behind a wheel.

Don't laugh.

Could you park a poem in a space this small?

Well, that's how I feel.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: What a great way to kick off the trip.

[MUSIC PLAYING] So here we go.

Here we go.

The shop's somewhere around here, isn't it?

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Antiques rookie Roger and old pro Phil have arrived at Higham Antiques.

[MUSIC PLAYING] How will Roger cope in the world of antiques?

[MUSIC PLAYING] Oh, we need a plan, don't we, really?

So we've got this amount of money to spend.

Yep.

How-- how many things should we buy today?

Dunno.

I mean, I think this is a good shop.

There's good things in here.

So I think the answer is, it would be nice to try and buy two.

And if we could buy three, that would be better still.

NARRATOR: Best get searching then.

[MUSIC PLAYING] And it looks like Phil's beady eye has already spotted something.

You don't need to open this to know what this.

This dates-- this is 18th century.

It's Georgian, mahogany.

This is boxwood.

And inside, there'll be a load of either holes for putting cutlery in.

Because this is a cutlery box or a knife box.

Or what happened to many, many of them is that the insides are taken out.

And they put divisions in there for stationary boxes.

So there you are.

Oh, yeah, no.

PHILIP SERRELL: But what I love about this is there's a great social history.

This is Downton Abbey stuff, you know.

This would have come from a very grand house.

And they, sort of, would have-- would have sat with its cutlery in there.

NARRATOR: Ticket price is 90 pounds.

PHILIP SERRELL: 10 years ago, this was like 300 pounds.

And if it was with the original interior, it's over 500 pounds.

But today, it's stuff.

Who wants stuff?

Your-- your children, my children, they don't buy stuff.

Because they don't want this cluttering up their homes.

It's good for putting stuff in, though, isn't it?

It's a great-- yeah, that's one way of looking at it.

You can write a poem.

Could you write a-- could we write a poem?

ROGER MCGOUGH: Get out of it.

PHILIP SERRELL: What-- what do you think to that?

Yep, I like.

No, you've talked-- talked me into that.

Yes, it's light.

And it's-- how much is it worth [INAUDIBLE] as well?

Should we go and see?

Well, no, what I want us to do is let's put that on the counter-- Right.

--and make a parcel of things.

So that's-- Lorraine, don't let anybody buy that, please-- PHILIP SERRELL: Yeah, we'll come back.

ROGER MCGOUGH: --before we come back.

NARRATOR: Anything else?

[MUSIC PLAYING] Do you like watches?

I like-- Can I have a look at that one, please, the-- WOMAN: Which one?

The Omega?

PHILIP SERRELL: Yeah.

ROGER MCGOUGH: Omega.

- Good make, isn't it?

- It is a good make, isn't it?

Omega.

- Yeah.

It doesn't look like my idea of an Omega.

Wrong strap.

So it's not gold.

It's stainless.

It's priced at 55 pounds.

I would think that's probably '50s, early '50s with that stainless steel case.

Yes.

Do you like that or not?

I mean, people buy these.

People collect them, do they?

Yeah, massively.

People want-- - Do they?

- Yeah.

ROGER MCGOUGH: Do you mind putting it over there, please?

NARRATOR: Sounds like the luxury Swiss watch is a possible.

ROGER MCGOUGH: What about this?

It reminds me of what we used to have at home.

But this is probably on the sideboard.

This is a batch of-- Is it silver?

Is it silver or something?

Yeah, it's all marked silver.

Silver.

Very light.

It's very light.

I always thought silver has got to be heavy.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: The early 20th century bachelor's tea set is priced at 165 pounds.

Wow.

[MUSIC PLAYING] PHILIP SERRELL: A sad thing to say.

But that is a real yesterday's antiques.

It might make-- so you've got to get it at a 1/2 price if you get it.

Oh, I see.

But that might be an option.

Do you like it?

I think people would like it.

I think if we-- - Should we put it in the pile?

Shall we do that then?

That's probably, we can make our decision, shall we, yeah?

PHILIP SERRELL: Should we-- do you think it's time to-- I think so, yes.

I'm getting overexcited.

PHILIP SERRELL: Really?

I can see that.

NARRATOR: The collective ticket price is 310 pounds for their three finds.

Dealer Lorraine has offered a hefty discount, taking the total down to 220.

I know I'm squeezing you here.

And I'm-- I really apologize for doing this.

But I know the auction we're going to.

Can I squeeze you to 200 and we'll definitely take them?

Go on then.

[GASPS] Thank you very, very much.

You've been a star.

Absolutely.

PHILIP SERRELL: You've been ever so helpful.

Thank you.

WOMAN: You're welcome.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: That's a very generous 110 pounds off the combined ticket price.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Bold buying there, boys.

[MUSIC PLAYING] [CHATTER] Meanwhile, Benjamin and Natasha are motoring towards their first stop of the day in Northampton.

NATASHA RASKIN: You were into Bob Marley.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Yeah.

And then eventually, you got to go on and perform with The Wailers.

That must have been a crazy experience.

Well, what happened-- it wasn't actually a performance.

We did a recording together.

I was going to record a single, a tribute to Nelson Mandela, actually.

NATASHA RASKIN: And this led to an introduction with Mandela, is that correct?

Yes.

Yeah, well, amongst other things.

I mean, I'd worked in the anti-apartheid movement as well.

And so, yeah, when Mandela came out of prison, he asked to meet me, a great memory.

I had a conversation with him once about the shirts that he wore.

He always wore these bright shirts.

They're quite jazzy.

And he told me, because when he was in prison, it was all gray.

And-- and he didn't see much color.

And then we were having this conversation.

And he said, you know, your shirt-- your shirts are a bit bland, Benjamin.

And we had to finish the conversation.

Because these people had to take him away.

At the unveiling of his statue, I was the emcee.

And the first thing he said when he saw me-- this is, like, six years later-- is, Benjamin, you're still wearing boring shirts.

[LAUGHTER] I thought, my gosh, he remembers me.

And he remembered the conversation.

And such a great man.

NARRATOR: Josh, what an amazing memory to have.

[MUSIC PLAYING] We could be transported to another dimension.

NATASHA RASKIN: Yes, we could.

We might have to be.

Up to you.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Thank you.

Wow.

Hey, this is quite impressive, isn't it?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: It's amazing.

NATASHA RASKIN: Oh, I like the traffic lights.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: They've arrived at The Old Bakehouse Antiques Centre, which has almost 50 traders selling everything from collectibles to retro items.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NATASHA RASKIN: So what shall we do?

I mean, this looks like it's all, kind of, divvied up into little bits and bobs.

Right.

Shall we just delve into each little area and see what we can find?

Yeah, let's do that.

Should we go that way?

You know, you-- remember, this is the first time I've been anywhere like this.

So you're really going to have to guide me.

Because-- So you don't go antiquing?

No, not really.

Not even when you're in China and all these places, going-- looking around?

No, I see some things in markets.

And I think they're really interesting.

But I don't take time out to go and-- and look around, so.

NATASHA RASKIN: Well, let's do it.

NARRATOR: They're off.

So after you.

Let's go in here.

There's a Hoover there with your name all over it.

[LAUGHTER] BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: You want me to do the Hoovering move?

NATASHA RASKIN: Yes, please, if you wouldn't mind.

NARRATOR: A plethora to choose from in here.

I'm out to get Roger McGough.

This is important to me.

[LAUGHTER] NATASHA RASKIN: It's important to you, is it?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Yes.

NATASHA RASKIN: Oh, but, Benjamin, it's just a game.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: No.

- It's just a game.

No?

No.

NARRATOR: It sounds like Benjamin means business.

Ooh, what have you spotted?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: What about scales?

Yeah, the scales are quite good fun.

I think they come under this title of kitchenalia, which is the worst title of all time.

Kitchenalia.

But people are quite into that.

Shall we have a closer look at them?

- Yes, OK. - Right.

Here we go.

So, I mean, we've got weight chart, the presence of the purchaser.

So these are shop scales, actually.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Right.

I do remember these-- this type of scale.

In fact, I remember that name when I was a kid.

You know, the local shopkeepers had the scales like this with the weights.

NATASHA RASKIN: I can see the price.

I don't think you could see it.

- No.

So tell me what you reckon it's worth.

60 pound.

60.

Well, 50 pounds is the price tag, which is all right.

I think there are some really nice, you know, spot.

NARRATOR: Time to call in the dealer, perhaps.

Ooh, hang on.

Natasha's onto something.

NATASHA RASKIN: Oop, well, here we are.

We've got an audiotronic.

I mean, I don't know anything-- - Wow.

--about anything.

But you must have had something like this for, sort of, recording your early poetry.

I did something quite similar.

Yeah?

I mean, that looks pretty retro to me.

And what I love about it, Benjamin, is it's already just a tenner.

So I really enjoy that.

There's 10 pounds.

I reckon that you could easily get 10 pounds back for this auction.

There may not be a lot of profit in it.

You can maybe even get 20, 30 pounds for it.

So I don't know about you, but I like it.

And I think that you like it too.

I want it.

What I like is that this is also from the same dealer as the scales.

So together, ticket price is 60.

If we could get the whole lot for maybe 40, then we can divvy it up.

And we can try and make ourselves a wee profit.

Yes.

I mean, we could-- we could try 1/2 price.

There's no harm in that.

But-- I love what you're saying.

[LAUGHTER] Yes.

You like it?

And then when it all goes wrong, we can listen to Ultravox.

Three into-- Ultravox.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Ultravox.

Come on.

This is-- this is a find.

This is an absolute find.

- Yes.

NATASHA RASKIN: Right.

I'm going to pop it in.

Oh, I'm glad you like it.

Ooh, oh, OK.

I smell a deal coming.

You smell a deal.

Oh, good.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: With a combined ticket price of 60 pounds, is there a deal to be done with Jackie?

So I mean, obviously, we want to get them in the best price possible.

Benjamin has, sort of, taken my advice on the fact that we think that the cassette deck is, you know, it's only 10 quid in the first instance.

It would be quite good to shave some off.

But that's a, kind of, safe bet.

But the scales are a little bit tricky.

Because I reckon the auction estimate is probably going to be 20 to 40 pounds or so, I reckon.

So we were trying to do a, kind of, a bulk buying deal, weren't we?

We were thinking about it, anyway.

Yes.

And what were you thinking of offering?

Well, could we have, like, both for 30?

Yep.

Yes.

Not so simple, wasn't it?

[LAUGHTER] I'm in love with you.

Because that's the figure I had in my head when you were talking.

Really?

NATASHA RASKIN: That's great, Jackie.

Thank you very much.

NARRATOR: First two lots bought for 30 pounds.

Hurrah.

[MUSIC - KATRINA AND THE WAVES, "WALKING ON SUNSHINE"] I'm walking on sunshine.

She's positively giddy, that girl.

[MUSIC - KATRINA AND THE WAVES, "WALKING ON SUNSHINE"] I'm walking on sunshine.

NATASHA RASKIN: I can't keep up.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Taking a break from shopping, Roger and Philip have come to Paulerspury, where they're off to learn more about one 1/2 of the great duo behind the car that they're driving.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Sir Henry Royce was a modest genius and a passionate engineer, who went on to invent an airplane engine which changed the face of British history.

[MUSIC PLAYING] To tell them more about the great man behind the machine is director of the Henry Royce foundation, Philip Hall.

I have this idea, Philip, that Rolls-Royce, and that Rolls was the businessman.

And he was the, sort of, money behind the whole concept.

And Royce was the engineer and the creative one.

Is that-- any truth in it?

Well, it was certainly a perfect combination.

But they were both a bit of each.

Rolls himself, a pioneer motorist, was very much a perfectionist.

And Royce was no fool as a businessman.

And he created his own company long before he started building motor cars at the age of 40.

And what was he doing before cars?

Well, his-- his first job, he was selling newspapers for W.H.

Smith.

And then he became a GPO, General Post Office, telegram boy.

And then he was an apprentice to the Great Northern Railway in Peterborough.

So engineering was in his blood.

How did they meet one another?

MAN: In 1903, Royce decided he'd move into the motor car market.

So he built three prototype cars, Royce cars.

Meanwhile, the honorable Charles Rolls was selling motor cars, all imported from Europe.

Because the-- Rolls didn't think there was a British car good enough for his own exacting standards.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: The two were soon introduced.

And they founded their now famous company, producing motor cars with superior engineering quality.

They quickly became known for making the best cars in the world.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Everybody associates the car with the emblem Spirit of Ecstasy by Charles Sykes on the bonnet.

But, I mean, how did that come about?

In the Edwardian days, many motorists were fitting, sort of, a rather trashy mascots to their cars.

Now Rolls-Royce thought, well, perhaps if we provide them with a nice mascot, they'll use that.

So they commissioned the sculptor Charles Sykes to design a mascot for the Rolls-Royce car.

And he came up with what is now known as the-- the Spirit of Ecstasy.

Quite saucy.

Absolutely right, isn't it?

[LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: The outbreak of the First World War saw the company enter into the aviation business, designing engines for planes.

Royce always strove to create the best of the best.

And years later, he designed the ground-breaking Merlin engine.

Royce sadly died in 1933 without ever seeing the difference it would make to the world.

Rolls-Royce's Merlin engine powered pretty well all the Allied aircraft.

Spitfires, Lancaster, Hurricanes.

Yes.

Yes.

All of them.

And I think historians are agreed that if it hadn't been for the Merlin engine, the outcome of the Second World War could have been very, very different indeed.

If you could sum up his legacy in a short sentence, what would it be?

His legacy is perhaps the greatest name in engineering in the world, Rolls-Royce.

People think of it as motor cars.

But in the aviation industry, of course, it is, perhaps, the most famous name in the world.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Benjamin and Natasha are back on the road and have made their way to Weedon Bec in Northamptonshire.

[MUSIC PLAYING] They're heading for Shah's Antiques.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Right, Benjamin.

We've got money to burn here.

400 pounds.

And we've only spent 30.

And whose fault is that?

Your negotiating was too good.

It's not a fault.

[LAUGHTER] NATASHA RASKIN: After you.

Let's see if we can spend some of this cash.

Yes.

Now this is the real deal.

NATASHA RASKIN: The real deal.

This is it.

NARRATOR: Set over 3,000 square feet, this place is bursting with potential purchases.

Let's have a good old look.

Because I'm already seeing some quite high ticket prices.

But remember, we do have some-- BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Yeah.

NATASHA RASKIN: We've got a good pot.

So we might as well spend some.

NARRATOR: Sound advice, Natasha.

[MUSIC PLAYING] [COIN FLIPPING] Oh, it'd be nice if we could afford that chaise longue, wouldn't it?

I mean, it's only a mere 800 pounds.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Is anything jumping out at you?

Yeah, all the prices are looking at me.

NATASHA RASKIN: The prices.

I knew you were going to say that.

NARRATOR: There must be something in here for our poet.

[MUSIC PLAYING] That sextant there.

NATASHA RASKIN: All right.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: I just like it.

I just think it's a beautifully crafted thing, just looking at it.

NARRATOR: A sextant was used for navigation back in the day.

Think old-fashioned GPS.

Have you got an interest in marine items in general?

No.

I'm actually really scared of the sea.

You're really scared of the sea?

I can't swim or anything.

NATASHA RASKIN: Should we-- do you want to have a look at it, if we can?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: I was going to say, are we allowed to look at it?

NATASHA RASKIN: I-- I think if we ask nicely, that should be absolutely fine.

NARRATOR: Better call Allison over then.

NATASHA RASKIN: So first thing that we want to do is look for a maker.

And there is one.

And with what do you associate Stanley?

Knives.

Knives, yeah.

So a maker of, sort of, hardware and things like that.

So it's Stanley London.

So it's a big brand item.

But when we see Stanley, I think we all also probably think mass-produced.

So it's not necessarily the world's most finely produced sextant.

What, kind of, age do you reckon that would be?

Sort of, 1930s, '40s, that, kind of, thing?

Yeah, I would have thought that was about right.

Yeah, it's not early, early 20th century.

But we're not, sort of, talking latter 1/2.

Do you want to have a feel of it, feel the weight of it, etc.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Can I?

NATASHA RASKIN: Just don't drop it, Benjamin.

I know.

I'm really nervous.

What do you see?

Do you see a profit, Benjamin?

I see a television audience.

[LAUGHTER] Do they look as terrified as you do?

They're all sitting at home, going, who's that mad poet?

I do really like it.

And can we knock the price down a bit?

I mean, I need to-- I need to-- The dealer's trade price on that is 45.

45.

So a 10% discount.

WOMAN: I can't see them taking any less.

I want to take this.

You want to go for it?

45?

NARRATOR: Yes, that's fine.

Show me your hand.

[LAUGHTER] Thank you very much.

NARRATOR: Nicely done, everyone.

And that wraps up a perfectly poetic first day of shopping.

Nighty night, chaps.

May all your couplets be rhyming.

[MUSIC PLAYING] The next morning, our celebrities are back on the road and gearing up for the day ahead.

ROGER MCGOUGH: Have you got a lot-- a lot to do?

PHILIP SERRELL: I'd really like to buy something, as they say in America, a high ticket item.

It's something, like, really chunky.

What were you, like, bargaining?

Actually, I was very persuasive.

I thought you might have been, actually.

But I think it was my-- Charm.

Oh, I mean, I wasn't say-- I wasn't going to say charm.

- No.

No.

But-- but, yeah, you're right.

[LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] I'm impressed by Benjamin for many reasons.

Really?

I thought it was going to be based on his lyricism and his, sort of, energy.

But I tell you what truly impressed me was his haggling technique.

PHILIP SERRELL: Really?

NATASHA RASKIN: Yeah.

Roger is just such a cool dude.

Yeah?

He's just a cool dude.

He's, sort of, so laid back.

He's pretty much horizontal.

NATASHA RASKIN: Yeah.

Yeah.

PHILIP SERRELL: He is.

NARRATOR: Cool, calm, and collected.

Time to stop waxing lyrical and find some more antiques.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Oh, hello.

How are you?

Good morning.

I'm OK. Good to see you again.

Morning, sir.

- Hello.

- Good morning.

- We'll shake hands.

- Good morning.

Whoa, it's up there.

Roger, I'll blow you a kiss.

I'll come back there.

They're nervous.

I can see it.

NATASHA RASKIN: Do you reckon?

They're really nervous.

Quite rightly, you should be.

You should be nervous.

We're just going to steal the match on you.

Right.

Well, let's go.

[INAUDIBLE] Do you want to continue driving, Ben?

No, you drive, in fact.

NARRATOR: So far, Roger and Phil have bought three lots, the mahogany cutlery box, the silver three-piece tea set, and the Omega gentleman's watch, which leaves them 200 pounds available to spend.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Benjamin and Natasha, meanwhile, have also bought three lots, the shopkeeper scales, the tape deck, and the brass sextant, leaving them with 325 pounds to play with.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Back on the road, both teams are heading for Heanor in Derbyshire.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Is it important for you to beat Roger?

Yes.

I mean-- In a word.

[LAUGHTER] I don't hesitate to, sort of, say that.

He's a dear friend.

And I think-- but I'm very competitive.

NATASHA RASKIN: I mean, that's no pressure on me or anything at all.

[LAUGHTER] You know, I'm quite happy with that.

[LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Benjamin and Natasha are first to arrive.

NATASHA RASKIN: Word has it that our competitors are going to join us here, do you know that?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Oh, OK. NATASHA RASKIN: Can you believe that?

We better get the good stuff before them.

NATASHA RASKIN: Actually, that's a good plan.

Go, go, go.

[LAUGHTER] Quick.

But that Phil, he always spots something that I miss, I tell you.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Yeah, we've got to get in before him.

NATASHA RASKIN: So you've got to be my second pair of eyes.

NARRATOR: Benjamin's proved to be jolly good at this antiques lark so far.

Mind you, blink, and you could miss a gem in here.

Look, gah.

You know, it's one of these places, isn't it, where it's just going to be a case of spotting that thing in the corner.

Because there's stuff everywhere.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Everywhere.

NATASHA RASKIN: Everywhere.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: The competition has arrived.

PHILIP SERRELL: We better catch them up.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: But Benjamin and Natasha are already in the thick of it.

NATASHA RASKIN: There are a couple that I really like.

The one that I like the most is the one-- this, sort of, wag at the wall clock, I think is how you describe it.

And where you can see the pendulum, sort of, wagging like a tail.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Right.

NATASHA RASKIN: But the one underneath it is also really nice too.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Did that one-- the black one there?

NATASHA RASKIN: Yeah.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: I will-- NATASHA RASKIN: Very Victorian.

That what I call-- when you look that-- in that direction, I thought you were going to point that one out.

Ah, really.

I think I'm-- I don't know.

I'm not so much into the pomp of the bottom one.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Right.

However, what I can appreciate about it is the craftsmanship that's gone in there.

It's slate, black slate, so highly polished and decorated.

It's so lovely.

It's very architectural design, also.

Doesn't it make you think of a beautiful building?

Yes.

NATASHA RASKIN: Look, I mean, you're quite keen on that?

Do you quite like the look of it?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: I do like it.

Is there something-- is it damaged or something?

Can you see the white bit on the top right-hand?

NATASHA RASKIN: Yeah, should we go and have a closer look?

Maybe, it's just a natural color of the stone.

Or maybe it is a chip.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: I'm thinking about this bit here.

NATASHA RASKIN: Oh, no, it's actually just part of the mottled, sort of, marble, isn't it?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Oh, OK. NATASHA RASKIN: I mean, how do you-- how do you think-- what do you think about it, looking at it close up?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: I really do like it.

NATASHA RASKIN: You like it?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Yes.

NATASHA RASKIN: It's at 185, just now, ticket price.

So if we could really shave that down to about 120, which is a big ask, we've got a little bit of hope.

And we'll have spent a big bit of money.

Right.

I think this is it.

- You think so?

- Yes.

You're quite keen on it?

Yes, I am.

I really am.

NARRATOR: Benjamin's smitten.

Dave will reveal how low the clock dealer will go.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I don't want to look.

I don't want to look.

He's got trade 20 on there.

So that's 165.

- Whoa.

- 165.

Sharp intake of breath.

OK, yeah.

That's very normal.

What were you thinking of?

100.

[LAUGHTER] [INTERPOSING VOICES] You asked me what I'm thinking of.

And that's what I'm thinking of.

What were you thinking of?

I was thinking 120.

Because that's the top end of a particularly cruel estimate that could be placed upon the crock.

You give me five minutes, I'll go and give Peter a ring and see where we can go for it.

Thanks a lot.

Should we keep looking, then, in those five minutes?

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah, let's keep looking.

Because time is of the essence, I guess.

So let's do it.

Your fingers crossed, Ben.

Fingers crossed.

My fingers, they are well-crossed.

Cross your dreads.

[LAUGHTER] BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Yeah.

NARRATOR: That's personal.

What are Philip and Roger up to?

Ah, Phil.

Poetry corner.

Now Tennyson St, obviously, Tennyson the poet.

But what I like about this is when I was-- in parts of Liverpool I lived in, brought up in, Seaforth and Litherland, just when we used to go into town, I used to pass all these streets.

There's almost, like, poetry area.

Because all the streets are named after poets.

There was a Tennyson Street, Wordsworth Street, Dryden Street, and Shelley Street.

Well, in bootle.

And your name?

No, no, no, no.

Zephaniah Boulevard.

And Tennyson Street., that-- is that-- I love that just for those reasons.

I mean-- Well, a lot of those are repro-- Oh, that's heavy.

A lot of these are reproduced.

But if we just look at the back of it, that looks like-- ROGER MCGOUGH: That's real.

PHILIP SERRELL: --that's been there man and boy, hasn't it?

NARRATOR: That looks like it could be a good find, Roger.

Dave, you're needed again.

PHILIP SERRELL: Dave?

MAN: Yeah?

Dear dealer, Dave.

I'm a poet, you see?

[INAUDIBLE] because it's just there.

Hello there.

PHILIP SERRELL: We think this is really lovely here.

And it's an old one, isn't it?

MAN: It is, yeah.

Yeah, that's definitely an original.

We'd love this, sort of, 40, 45 pounds.

If you can do it.

If you can, you can.

If you can't, you can't.

NARRATOR: After a quick call to the owner, Dave's back with a decision.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Well, he said 50.

I'll go another tenner.

And that's as far as I dare go.

40 pounds?

40 pounds.

Let's do it.

I think so.

- I think so as well.

- Thank you very, very much.

- You're welcome.

- Thank you.

We'll settle for that, shall we?

What was it, 20?

No, 30, wasn't it?

30.

[LAUGHTER] [INAUDIBLE] I'm learning.

[INAUDIBLE] thank you.

[INAUDIBLE] [INAUDIBLE] [LAUGHTER] PHILIP SERRELL: Thank you very much indeed.

MAN: You're welcome.

NARRATOR: 40 pounds seals the deal for the very fitting sign.

Now what of their rivals?

Seeing as you love animals so much-- Yes.

And you love children's literature.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: I do.

You write it.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: I do.

You love to engage with children.

What's this building up to?

It's building up to this really wonderful Noah's Ark wooden toy.

Oh.

[LAUGHTER] Which is just a really nice, sort of, mid-20th century, sort of, 1960s, '70s, or so, well-loved and used Noah's Ark on wheels.

So you can, sort of, wheel it along the carpet.

And inside, if we lift off the roof-- Oh, wow.

--we've got a whole variety of your friends.

We've got your elephant friend.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: The lion of Judah.

NATASHA RASKIN: It doesn't have a price on it.

So I wonder if we could go and ask and see.

Because I think it's actually just really cool.

I think that it's got a lot of nostalgia attached to it.

And as a children's author, I hope it has some appeal to you too.

Yes.

NATASHA RASKIN: If we can get it for a really nice price, I think it's a good lot to put our name to.

Because it's got that animal-friendly appeal.

And it's got, also, a little bit of educational appeal to it too.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Let's find out the price.

NARRATOR: Right, Dave.

What's the damage for dealer Jane's Ark?

We don't know how highly Jane thinks of it.

Because we can't see a price.

MAN: There's a price.

NATASHA RASKIN: So I didn't actually believe that?

Is that 100 pounds?

- Yeah.

What?

It's 100 pounds?

Is Jane worth giving a wee call?

Apart from the fact that she's halfway to the Philippines, mind.

Oh, gee.

Oh, I saw that 100 on it.

And I genuinely thought that wasn't anything to do.

Because all the other ones have a pound sign in front of them.

And that-- that didn't look like a price [INAUDIBLE] to me.

MAN: Biggest discount I've ever given, call it a tenner.

I think she did miss a decimal point, don't you?

Call it a tenner.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Let's go with it before he-- NATASHA RASKIN: You want to go for it?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: --before he changes his mind.

NATASHA RASKIN: So we'll say yes to 10 pounds for that.

MAN: Now the clock-- NATASHA RASKIN: Now can we have the same discount, please, on the clock?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Yes.

MAN: Certainly not.

NATASHA RASKIN: Yes, no.

I can't get ahold of Peter.

He's not replying.

So we're at 165.

And you wanted to come in where?

120, ideally.

120.

God, blimey.

We need this.

We've-- we've got to do this deal, Dave.

Me and you, we go back some time.

And we're brothers, you know.

I like your dreadlocks and everything, man.

It's cool.

- 165.

120.

130.

NATASHA RASKIN: What do you think?

You got to have fun, man.

Show me around.

[LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Some gentle persuasion from Benjamin and Dave's generosity lands them the ark and the clock.

Nice work.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Having bought all their items for auction, Natasha has a little treat in store for Benjamin and has taken him to Ravenshead.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Benjamin, I thought I'd bring you here today to Newstead Abbey, which was the ancestral home of Lord Byron.

I know.

I am so happy.

This is the place I've always wanted to come to.

So I'm so glad you brought me here.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Heralded by many as one of the greatest British poets, Lord Byron lived here at Newstead Abbey during his 20s after inheriting this ancestral home from his uncle.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NATASHA RASKIN: So when you say you've always wanted to come here, have you been on other such journeys?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Well, I was poet in residence at Keats' house in Hampstead for a couple of years.

Oh, wow.

And I've been down to Bournemouth to Mary Shelley's grave.

She wrote "Frankenstein," of course.

Yes.

And then Mr. Shelley, I've seen parts of his body preserved.

It's-- he's buried all over the world, so yeah.

Inspiration.

Yeah, it's, kind of, part inspiration, part just going and seeing where these people worked, where they lived, where they died.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Although seemingly worlds apart, there are many similarities between Byron and our Benjamin.

Byron became the darling of the London literary set in the early 19th century and arguably Britain's first celebrity.

[MUSIC PLAYING] 200 years later, Benjamin's become one of our most recognized poets, who, like Byron, experienced a rapid rise to fame.

[MUSIC PLAYING] For a while, I was big in Birmingham.

And nobody knew me outside Birmingham and-- NATASHA RASKIN: Big in Birmingham.

It's a nice place to be big.

Then I came down to London.

And then I got in with the right crowd people, a lot of creative people.

It was a time of the alternative comedy scene and things like that.

And I started to perform then.

I remember when I left Birmingham, I said to somebody who told me not to go, I said, the next time you see me, it will be on television.

And I thought it would take five years or so.

But within a year or so, I was on television.

One quote I've heard of Byron, which is a great quote, is that he was mad, bad, and dangerous to know.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Yes.

NATASHA RASKIN: And I wonder, Benjamin, does that apply to you?

[LAUGHTER] Well, it has been said that I'm mad, bad, and dangerous to know.

But my mom just says I'm a naughty boy.

[LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Byron was undoubtedly flamboyant, almost as famous for his scandalous private life as his poetry.

And while the 18th century lothario wrote of love, Benjamin's work often focuses on his passions, including inequality.

[MUSIC PLAYING] You see a lot of angry kids on the streets who feel that they have no way of expressing themselves.

We try and tell them that poetry is a good way of expressing yourself.

You know, I was friends with Nelson Mandela.

And Nelson Mandela even acknowledged what poetry, and music, and the arts did in terms of raising people's awareness about what was going on in South Africa.

There's similar situations going on around the world now.

And we want to use our voice.

So my work is not done yet.

NATASHA RASKIN: Supports don't retire.

We don't retire.

We just get-- I was going to say angrier.

But we just get more passionate, you know.

NARRATOR: Like Benjamin, Byron too was an avid supporter of liberal causes.

He settled in Italy and joined Greece in their war of independence, but sadly died of fever during the struggle, aged just 36.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Like Byron and Shelley before you, who went traveling across Italy, Roger and you have been traveling across middle England, wreaking havoc in the shires.

Yes.

Shall we go and see what he's been up to with Phil?

I really want to know what he's been up to.

So yeah, we should go.

Let's go.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: And what of their rivals?

Roger and Philip have made their way to Nottingham.

The great English writer, D.H. Lawrence, was educated here.

And it's where our boys are hoping to find some last minute bargains.

PHILIP SERRELL: [INAUDIBLE] they make-- They're definitely-- yeah, they're definitely [INAUDIBLE].. Yeah, [INAUDIBLE].

[INAUDIBLE] NARRATOR: Oh, it suits you, sir.

Do these things sell old-- Yeah, they-- they can-- --record players and stuff?

They can be.

Because everybody is now playing vinyl.

But it's a bit of a specialist area.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I remember my old Celestion speakers.

Celestion?

Yeah, is that good or bad?

Before-- before my time I might add.

NARRATOR: He's joking, Phil, probably.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I had a close run at the old typewriter there.

Oh, type-- ah, a typewriter.

Can we look for typewriter?

Another-- you want typewriters?

[INAUDIBLE].

A nice typewriter.

These are all a bit modern, aren't they?

Yeah.

I'll look for something a bit older, if I can.

NARRATOR: Does this one fit the bill?

PHILIP SERRELL: That's quite cool.

[CLACKING TYPEWRITER KEYS] I thought they went well, typewriters, sold well in places.

Yeah, I-- I don't dislike that one.

Because it's a little bit more decorative, isn't it?

It is nice.

And it's-- it's certainly old, I think.

That's-- that's 38.

Why do you like that then, Rog?

Well, I like it because it's, sort of-- it works.

It has a nice-- nice action.

It's very, very old, I think.

Well, old, yeah.

And I can imagine D.H. Lawrence, you know, Nottingham, writing "Women in Love" or something like that.

PHILIP SERRELL: It is quite a cool thing, isn't it?

Yeah.

I mean, you couldn't get-- Or Lady-- "Lady Chatterley's Lover."

PHILIP SERRELL: But you get, don't you, you know, that typewriters have just completely vanished off the face of the Earth.

ROGER MCGOUGH: Indeed.

You know, all the technology.

Laptops and everything else are used today.

I mean, as well as I-- I never used one myself.

I had an Italian Olivetti when I was a-- I think my mom bought me one when I was very young.

But I never-- never, sort of, used it.

A bit slow for me.

I never mastered it.

But as a piece of-- It's almost a piece of sculpture.

Sculpture, that's-- that's-- yeah, yeah.

PHILIP SERRELL: Shall we find out what our good lady could do it for?

ROGER MCGOUGH: Yeah.

PHILIP SERRELL: Where is she?

Lynn?

We're quite taken with your typewriter.

All right then.

That's 38 pounds.

Let's see.

It's going to make an auction, I would think, between 20 and 35 pounds, something like that, which means we've got to try and buy it below that, if we can.

If I say 30?

Could you try a bit harder for us?

WOMAN: Let's see, 28.

If we gave you 25 pounds for it, would that be a deal?

And that-- that's a bit.

- Cash.

Cash.

- Cash.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

All right then.

Thank you.

- If you get the money, Roger.

- I'm sorry.

Money.

[INAUDIBLE] we could perhaps-- perhaps, I could-- I could knock out one of my verses for you on there while we're waiting for that?

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: I think we'll pass, Philip, hey?

That final purchase means our poets are all bought up.

Time to get together for a little bit of show and tell and, who knows, perhaps poetic license.

[MUSIC PLAYING] So shall we show them what we've got?

Yes, why not?

NATASHA RASKIN: With me, Benjamin.

Towards me.

Towards me.

Here we go.

[LAUGHTER] Dr.

Drama.

Yeah, well, we better go and have a look, haven't we?

Yeah, it's a heady mix.

That's a mix, isn't it?

It is a bit.

And talking of mix, you can get in the mix with your audio.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] PHILIP SERRELL: --of the Dolby system when it first came out.

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: Exactly.

So we thought we could imagine Benjamin in the streets at the-- in the '80s, sort of, going for it with his mic input tape deck.

I can see that, yeah.

So how much was that?

Well, it was a tenner.

But we got it for 1/2 price.

Benjamin got it for 1/2 price.

5 pounds off.

That's-- that's OK, isn't it?

Yes, of course.

I worked my charm.

Yeah, that's-- NATASHA RASKIN: This stuff is quite trendy right now.

And still got it for a fiver.

[LAUGHTER] NARRATOR: What about the shop scales?

NATASHA RASKIN: Well, these made you a little bit nostalgic, didn't they?

- Yeah, they did.

Yeah, I just remember going into shops and they were where-- I remember the-- the name.

- What is it?

- Avery.

Oh, Avery, of course, yes.

Indeed, yes.

I think that we can make a weighty profit.

Oh.

No.

We'll have to wait and see.

Oh.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] --way too heavy on you.

Oh, that's terrible.

So how much was that?

25 pounds.

ROGER MCGOUGH: And the other-- was it-- yes.

Yeah, what do you think of this?

Noah's Ark.

Very, very collectible, Noah's Arks, aren't they?

ROGER MCGOUGH: Are they?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: You should be worried.

Oh, we are.

Do you want to see some quality items now?

Yes, I'm looking at it.

PHILIP SERRELL: Oh, get out of here.

Come on.

Let's have a look.

Reveal yourselves.

On the count of three.

One, two, three.

PHILIP SERRELL: Go.

NATASHA RASKIN: What have you got here?

Oh.

Poetry-related.

Look, Tennyson Street.

Oh, you're so fly.

PHILIP SERRELL: And then there was a cutlery box, which hasn't got the interior.

But we just thought that was-- I mean, that's a proper antique, isn't it?

It's 1790s?

- It's properly lovely.

Yeah, I love this shell design here.

You see it on everything, the trees, and these boxes, and the tea caddies.

I think that's our best bit.

NATASHA RASKIN: So wristwatch.

Any-- oh, it's an Omega.

- I wouldn't have-- I wouldn't have [INAUDIBLE].

And how much-- and how much did you pay for it?

--I wouldn't have seen that as being so valuable.

How much did you pay for it?

40 pounds.

40 quid for an Omega wristwatch?

For the price of nothing, really.

And it works.

I'm not happy with that.

Yeah, they've done well.

They have done well.

[INAUDIBLE] .

Could you just repeat that one more time for me?

Just hold on.

Benjamin, don't say it.

Don't say it, Ben.

Just come with me.

PHILIP SERRELL: No, just one more time.

They've done well.

Oh, don't say it.

The nation doesn't want to hear it.

Come on.

Well done.

NARRATOR: Niceties out of the way, what did they really make of each other's lots?

What's your favorite piece on their table?

Well, as a piece of, kind of, nostalgia as a poet, I do like the Tennyson Street sign.

NATASHA RASKIN: Yeah, how did we miss that?

You know, that was in the shop we were all in.

I didn't realize that.

I didn't see that.

There's such monkeys.

They're so cheeky.

I think the-- they can't lose much money on the tape deck.

They can't lose much money on the scales.

They can't lose much money on the sextant or the Noah's Ark.

I like them.

I say, I like what they had [INAUDIBLE]..

I think they should lose money on the clock.

I can see that perhaps costing them 50 quid.

I like typewriters, of course.

NATASHA RASKIN: Yes.

That's really cool.

But 25 pounds.

I've not really seen one make in excess of 20, 30 pounds at auction.

Right.

So we're quite safe there, I think.

If I was a bookie, I think the odds are a bit in our favor.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Love the confidence.

From starting in Northamptonshire, our two teams have meandered around the Midlands and are now motoring towards Leicester for the big finale.

[MUSIC PLAYING] BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: So how are you feeling about today going-- going-- - Yeah, interesting, isn't it?

Well, it'd be interesting to see how we go.

You know, I mean, Phil was great, I mean.

And I'm sure Natasha was as well, directing you towards things and that, which I enjoyed.

But I had no idea how much things were worth.

Well, we can't do anything now really.

We just got to sit back and-- ROGER MCGOUGH: No, exactly.

Let-- let it happen.

NARRATOR: Yep.

Today, they'll be doing battle at Churchgate Auctions.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Ready for the fray?

I'm ready.

I'm looking forward to it, actually.

PHILIP SERRELL: Really?

- My first auction.

Well, we better go and see what happens, hadn't we?

Let's go.

I think I know what's going to happen.

- Oh, get out of here.

- Madness.

- Get out of here.

- Madness is going to ensue.

PHILIP SERRELL: Get out of here.

[LAUGHTER] NARRATOR: The man with the gavel today is Dicken Dearman.

So what does he make of our lots' lots?

My favorite lot in his sale today is the 1950s Omega stainless steel wristwatch.

And taking into consideration all the items as a whole, it's a nice mixture of old and new items.

And there might well be some surprises amongst that lot in the sale today.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Roger and Philip spent 265 pounds on five auction lots, while Benjamin and Natasha spent less, buying five lots for 215 pounds.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Right.

They're taking their seats as the auction is about to begin.

Your first auction.

It's all gold.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: First up, it's Roger's spot, the vintage imperial typewriter.

Start me at 20 pounds.

20 pounds for that nice typewriter.

Any interest at 20?

10 pounds, if you like then.

10 pounds have been bid.

12, 14, 16, 18.

20 pounds.

22, 25.

25 pounds.

25, 27, 27-- Oh, yes.

DICKEN DEARMAN: 30 pounds.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

- 30 pounds.

30 just there.

32.

32 now.

32.

Do I see any further bids?

32 is back in.

35 pounds now.

35.

Is there now 35?

Anywhere 35?

Just there.

Fresh bidder.

Oh, you guys are in profit.

DICKEN DEARMAN: Fresh bidder.

37.

37.

37 now.

Selling them for 35 pounds.

[GAVEL SLAMMING] Thank you, Madam.

Well done.

[INAUDIBLE] .

NARRATOR: Off to a great start with a nice little profit there for Roger and Philip.

I was-- I was wanting more.

I wanted more.

I wanted a double.

I want 50.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Nothing wrong with aiming high, Roger.

Up next, it's Benjamin and Natasha's audiotronic tape deck.

How do you think our tape deck is going to go?

[INAUDIBLE] .

I don't know.

But I'm going nervous suddenly.

20 pounds.

20 pounds.

A tenner, then, if you like for it.

10 pounds.

10 pounds have been bid [INAUDIBLE].. 10 pounds bid.

DICKEN DEARMAN: Do I see 12 now?

12 pounds?

12, do I see?

12 is there anywhere?

12, 14, 14, 16.

16 just there.

18.

Yes, 18 pound.

20.

20 now.

Go with the flow.

DICKEN DEARMAN: 20 [INAUDIBLE].

Go with the flow.

Go with the flow.

DICKEN DEARMAN: Selling them for 18 pounds.

Thank you, Madam.

[GAVEL SLAMMING] That's all right.

That's all right.

Yes.

That puts you ahead in the profit margin so far.

He's in the groove, isn't he?

[LAUGHTER] NARRATOR: A perfect start for Benjamin and Natasha.

Great stuff.

Now it's the auctioneers' tip for the top, Roger and Philip's Omega wristwatch.

I always have a-- on the inside.

So-- because you're on stage.

Yeah.

And you just see how [INAUDIBLE].. Once you do it like that, it's a bit impressive, isn't it?

Come on, guys.

50 pounds for the watch, sir?

50 pounds have been bid.

55.

45.

They're already in profit.

60, 65, 70, 75, 80, 85, 90, 95, 100 pounds.

Benjamin.

105.

105 now.

105.

Fresh bid at 105.

- What's happening?

DICKEN DEARMAN: 110.

110 now.

110 now.

For 110.

115, 115, 120, 120, 125.

Look at, Phil.

DICKEN DEARMAN: 125, 130, 130.

You are so smug.

DICKEN DEARMAN: 135.

140.

140 now.

140, do I see now?

140, do I see?

This is huge.

DICKEN DEARMAN: Any further bids?

No, selling them to you, sir, for 135.

[GAVEL SLAMMING] Oh, well done.

Well done.

Partner.

NARRATOR: That smashing result sees Roger and Philip romp into the lead.

Phil said, Roger, why are you buying that for?

And I said, because it's going to raise money.

He said, please don't.

I said, Phil, trust me.

Trust me on this one, didn't I?

I said, trust me on this one.

I implored him not to buy it, right?

And I was wrong.

NARRATOR: Feel like a comedy duo, those two.

Benjamin and Natasha are playing catch up with their brass sextant.

This was your spot, you know?

Yes, I know.

This was Benjy's spot.

I'm responsible.

Do I see 30 pounds?

Any interest at 30?

20 pounds only, then, for it.

20 pounds for the sextant.

It's worth 20 pounds surely now.

It must be.

Oh, 20 pounds on the front.

Thank you, Mr. Fu.

20 pounds have been bid.

22, 24.

24 pounds.

26, 28, 28, 30 pounds.

32, 34.

34 now.

Oh, no.

No, keep going Keep going.

34, do I see?

34, is there anywhere?

34 back in.

36, 36, 38, 38.

No, 38 now.

All done selling down here, then, for 36 pounds.

Sold.

[GAVEL SLAMMING] Oh, it's a loss.

It's a loss.

NARRATOR: Clearly, no marine enthusiasts in the room today.

Could be because it's not old.

Oh, it's only a game.

It's only a game.

No, it's not a game.

Sorry.

You say it's only a game because you're winning.

We're trying to be magnanimous about this.

[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Well, can our magnanimous men increase their lead with the Georgian mahogany cutlery box?

Benjamin, what if it makes over 100 quid?

If it makes over 100 quid, I think we just should go home now.

Should we just storm out?

50 pounds.

Any interest at 50?

40 pounds, if you like then.

40 pounds have been bid.

Thank you.

I see 45 now.

45.

45.

Is there 45?

50 pounds.

55, 60, 65.

70 pounds now.

70 pounds.

70, just it?

75, 75.

Is there anywhere 75?

Do I see any further bids?

Selling them for 70 pounds.

[GAVEL SLAMMING] Lost [INAUDIBLE].

NARRATOR: After auction costs, that will be a small loss.

But fear not, Roger and Philip.

You're still in the lead.

Scales are up next, Benjamin.

All right.

Scales fell from my eyes and bruised their toes.

You're acting like a poet?

[INAUDIBLE] .

I wasn't expecting such profundity.

He didn't know it.

I just got a bit of a fright there, Roger, actually.

NARRATOR: Well, let's hope your set of Avery scales don't give you another one.

DICKEN DEARMAN: 10 pounds.

Any interest at 10?

10 pounds have been bid.

Thank you, sir.

Do I see 12 now?

- Where's the competition?

12 pounds.

12, do I see?

12 is in there.

12, Madam.

14, 16, 18.

- Come on.

- 18.

20 pounds.

22 now.

22, 22.

Is there anywhere 22?

Do I see no final bids?

- We need more.

One more.

One more.

Selling them for 20 pounds.

[GAVEL SLAMMING] Oh, no.

NARRATOR: Never mind.

Benjamin loved them.

We weren't that-- bought things that would gain a profit, you see?

Did we?

That was a-- [INAUDIBLE].

And we bought things we liked.

NARRATOR: I like your attitude, Benjamin.

Time now for the three-piece silver tea set.

DICKEN DEARMAN: 50 pounds.

Any interest at 50?

30 pounds, if you like then.

30 pounds.

Thank you.

30 pounds have been bid on this.

Do I see 32 now?

32, Mr. Wheeler.

34, 34, 36, 36, 38, 40 pounds.

42, 45, 47, 50 pounds, 52, 55, 55, 57.

[INAUDIBLE] .

57 just there.

60 pounds now.

60 pounds.

Do I see 60 pounds anywhere?

60 just there.

62, 62, 65, 65, 67, 67.

70 pounds.

75 now.

75.

Is there no further bid?

Selling them for 70 pounds.

Thank you.

[GAVEL SLAMMING] It's a loss.

That's cheap.

NARRATOR: That it is, Natasha.

But Roger and Philip are still in the lead.

Can Natasha and Benjamin's Noah's Ark close the gap?

I'm going to will it to do well.

I'm going to send my vibes out to the people.

Ooh.

10 pounds for the vintage Noah's Ark.

We've got 10 pound bid in the corner just there.

Thank you, sir.

Do I see 12 now?

12 pounds.

12, Madam.

14, 16, 18, 20 pounds.

22, 24.

26 pounds now.

26 pounds.

Oh, it's at 24.

DICKEN DEARMAN: Fresh bid at 26.

- Ooh, fresh bid.

- [INAUDIBLE] .

DICKEN DEARMAN: 28.

30 pounds.

32, 34, 36, 38.

No 38.

Now 38.

Do I see any further bids?

No.

Selling them for 36 pounds.

Thank you, Madam.

Sold.

[GAVEL SLAMMING] Yes.

We'll take that.

Good stuff.

NARRATOR: That pretty profit puts you back in the game.

It's Roger and Philip's final lot.

The Tennyson Street sign.

20 pounds.

20 pounds on the front has been bid.

Thank you.

Do I see a 22 now?

22, 24, 24, 26, 28, 28, 30 pounds.

32, 34, 36, 38, 40 pounds.

42, 45, 47.

Wow.

DICKEN DEARMAN: 50 pounds.

52, 55.

55 now.

55, do I see?

55 anywhere?

All done selling them for 52 pounds.

Sold.

[GAVEL SLAMMING] Well done.

Well done.

Listen, if the poetry-related law hadn't have made a profit, we would all have been crying.

That's great.

NARRATOR: Roger and Phillip end on a high.

[MUSIC PLAYING] To have any chance of winning, Benjamin and Natasha will need to make a serious profit on their priciest purchase, their mantle clock.

We've put all of our eggs in this clock's basket.

And here it comes.

My mom is watching.

And your mom is watching.

Listen, my mom's watching too.

I'm nervous.

We'll start me at 50 pounds.

Oh, 50 quid.

Come on.

50 pounds for this lot now.

Do I see 50?

30 pounds, if you like then.

30 pounds have been bid.

30 pounds have been bid.

Do I see 35 now?

This is wild.

DICKEN DEARMAN: 35, 35, 40, 45, 50.

Have a good look at it, everybody.

DICKEN DEARMAN: 55, 60, 65.

70 pounds have been bid.

Do I see 75 now?

75?

- This is nuts.

DICKEN DEARMAN: 75 has been bid.

- This is nuts.

NARRATOR: 75, do I see?

- No, Benjamin.

DICKEN DEARMAN: No further bids.

- No, it's not happening.

It's not happening.

Selling them for 70 pounds.

[GAVEL SLAMMING] Benjamin.

[LAUGHTER] [CRYING] NARRATOR: Well, it was a risky punt.

But you did love it, Benjamin.

I've always wanted to really beat Roger McGough I'll win another day.

Another day.

Another day.

On that note, let's go.

Yeah, OK. Well challenge them to a race outside, how about that?

[LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: Well, while you get ready to run, let's find out the final results.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Both teams started with 400 pounds.

After paying auction costs, Benjamin and Natasha sadly made a loss of 67 pounds and 40 pence, leaving them with 332 pounds and 60p.

[MUSIC PLAYING] [GAVEL SLAMMING] Roger and Philip, however, made a profit of 31 pounds and 84p after auction costs, which means they're crowned today's winners, finishing with 431 pounds and 84p.

Hurrah.

And all profits go to children in need.

Oh, no, come on.

Just give us the figures.

Well, I'm afraid you've lost.

Yeah, I gathered that.

PHILIP SERRELL: About 65 pounds.

- How much?

- About 65.

Well, that's not too bad.

And we've made about 30 quid.

So-- NATASHA RASKIN: What can we say?

Yeah, no, you'd say sorry.

And good luck in your life and what you do.

And the best people won.

Thanks for that.

Roger, just play this down, Rog.

Just play this down.

Yes.

[LAUGHTER] Sorry.

[CRYING] Let's be humble in defeat.

Let's be humble in defeat.

We had fun.

We had a lot of fun.

- We had fun.

It's been good, hasn't it?

NATASHA RASKIN: It's been really good.

Well, we better wave you goodbye.

And bon voyage.

Yeah, thank you so much for being such a great sport.

Love you.

Thank you.

It's been wonderful.

So good.

Roger-- NARRATOR: Parting is always such sweet sorrow.

ROGER MCGOUGH: Bye bye.

- Bon voyage.

OK, guys.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Actually, Roger, I mean, we've known each other for years.

But we al-- we always see each other backstage, or in a television studio, or a radio studio, or, you know-- Yeah, I know.

--on stage.

And actually, you know, we've hung out together for a couple of days.

That's correct, yeah.

I never want to see you again.

Yeah, no.

[LAUGHTER] That 50 quid I lent you in 1977.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I didn't much mention that one.

[LAUGHTER] NARRATOR: Toodle pip, road trippers.

[MUSIC PLAYING]