NARRATOR: The nation's favorite celebrities-- I like surprises.

..paired up with an expert...

I got excited then!

TIM: Ooh!

VO: Whoopsie!

..and a classic car.

BOTH: Here we go!

(CAR BACKFIRES) DAVID: Wowzer!

Their mission?

To scour Britain for antiques.

Am I on safari?

(WHISTLE BLOWS) The aim?

To make the biggest profit at auction.

(GASPS) But it's no easy ride.

Oh, dear!

Who will find a hidden gem?

(NEIGHS) Who will take the biggest risk?

(LAUGHS) Will anybody follow expert advice?

I hate it.

There will be worthy winners... (LAUGHS) ..and valiant losers.

DAVID: Double drat... ROSIE: Oh, no!

Put your pedal to the metal...

Spend, spend, spend.

This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

VO: Get away.

VO: Get ready for a rollicking ride.

We're sweating like Eammon Holmes in a salad bar up here.

VO: It's comedy legend Bobby Davro!

And who's that glamour puss?

Most of your jokes are not funny.

Drop me off here Sheila.

I'm sorry, did I miss something?

VO: Why, it's none other than stunning songstress Sheila Ferguson, who's at the wheel of a similarly classy 1964 Cortina.

In avocado and cream.

Are you gonna be one of them kinda drivers who tells me what to do?

We're gonna do a reverse here.

Yeah.

And mind that young kid.

(THUD) Oh, Christ!

It's alright.

Was... was that you?

Don't do that!

You're making me crazy!

VO: No children were harmed in the making of this program, by the way.

Bobby's been on the wind up since the 70s, but as well as being a wisecrack wizard he appeared as Vinnie Monks on EastEnders in the noughties.

Sheila is nothing short of musical royalty, having starred in the American female soul group, The Three Degrees.

But her talents don't stop there, oh no.

She's also a songwriter, actress and author.

That was a heck of a synopsis.

VO: Yeah.

Only the best for you, Sheila.

These two are regulars on the pantomime circuit, appearing together in Dick Whittington in 2018.

Now they're taking center stage in a quest for collectables with £400 to spend.

OK, let's get down to business then.

So what do you know about antiques then?

I'm not impressed by... People wanna say, "Oh, I have a so and so, I have a Ming vase."

I mean, if I like a vase, I'll buy it.

I've got some underpants, they're minging.

A bit... (HE LAUGHS) Tell you what, I'm glad we've got our antique experts to help us.

I'm just hoping he's tall, dark and handsome.

VO: Well, two out of three ain't bad!

It's James Braxton.

Plus the lovely Catherine Southon.

CATHERINE: Today, on the road, in... Yeah.

..Kent, with you, in this box.

It's lovely.

It's a really sweet little car.

VO: They're cruising with the top down in a Citroen 2CV.

We've got air coming through... JAMES: Yeah.

CATHERINE: ..here.

Circulating.

Which we need on a day like today.

Gonna be a hottie.

Bit like Sheila.

Suppose you get an expert who doesn't like you and they give you all the wrong information.

They're not gonna do that.

They'll want to win as well, won't they?

I just wanna play the game.

VO: Well m'lady, your wish is my command.

What a pair of divas, look at them.

Very good.

VO: Stand by.

James.

Very pleased to meet you, sir.

Nice to meet you.

She's obviously a smooth driver, isn't she?

Oh, she's so...

It's like being with a stuntman.

BOBBY: Nice to meet you.

CATHERINE: Hiya!

You think she's bad...

Uh... a stuntwoman!

..you haven't driven with me!

Stuntwoman, I beg your pardon.

Bobby, you're with me.

SHEILA: James!

JAMES: Sheila.

You got me, babe.

Oh, I'm looking forward to this.

We are all gonna be in the same shop together.

I like the sound of that.

Shopping, trying to buy some things.

JAMES: Yeah.

SHEILA: We better get a jump on.

It's gonna be a disaster.

Come on, you.

It'll be fine.

SHEILA: No!

JAMES: We've got lots of money.

As long as we get there first.

Let's drive fast.

JAMES: Come on.

SHEILA: Alright.

JAMES: I'll drive.

CATHERINE: Right.

VO: Let's get into gear.

Pip pip!

Nice and easy.

CATHERINE: Yep.

BOBBY: Alright.

First.

We're off.

Help!

VO: Oh, he's a wag.

Second!

(GEARS GRIND) Go!

VO: Easier said than done, it seems.

Now I'm indicating.

Take them off.

Indicating you can't drive it!

VO: Ha ha.

Time to talk strategy.

Now, listen, I'm a quick shopper.

OK. Cuz I hate to shop.

So it's either in and out... Yeah.

..or look at this and look at that.

I think... you're...

I...

I got the feeling you're a bargainer.

I love to bargain.

What do you know about antiques?

Right.

There's no amount of words that can describe what I know about antiques.

I know nothing, practically.

And what about Sheila?

I reckon she's got expensive taste, I think she's gonna buy... BOBBY: She's classy.

CATHERINE: ..expensive... BOBBY: She's classy.

Well, just put it this way.

You're ju... just...

Losing is not in my vocabulary.

VO: Let's get cracking then.

Our pairings will be cruising round Kent before heading way out west to the auction in Christchurch, Dorset.

First stop for both?

Faversham's Standard Quay, and Aladdin's Loft.

Let's get in there.

It looks as though we're the first to arrive.

Remember, be tough.

Ho-ho!

You don't know what tough is.

VO: There are 15 traders here.

So let's go browse.

Sheila, it's always about keeping your eyes open.

OK. Just keep looking, keep looking, keep walking.

SHEILA: OK. JAMES: OK.

This caught my eye.

Now, you're a champagne lover, aren't you?

Yeah, I'm a champagne lover.

JAMES: I think... SHEILA: Or white wine.

..I think this is a... a sort of, eh, tap.

You pierced it, you took this out.

Right.

..and then you controlled... SHEILA: Ah!

JAMES: So you could... SHEILA: It's like a tap.

JAMES: It's like a tap.

Oh, how cool is that?

Isn't that clever?

I like that.

VO: Well Sheila, it could be yours for £38.

That looks like... 15 or 20, doesn't it?

I think so.

JAMES: Don't you?

SHEILA: I think so too.

I think it's overpriced.

Let's leave it, Sheila.

Come on, there's masses more.

I want it.

I'm sorry.

I want it!

You cannot have it.

VO: He's put his foot down.

Speaking of which, where are the other two?

Oh, yes.

CATHERINE: They're here.

BOBBY: What?

They are here.

Oh, they beat us to it, and we won't have nothing left!

We're looking for something that really looks... Shouts, and we go, wow!

VO: You'd better get on with it then.

One of the prettiest bird cages I've ever seen, that.

I don't think it's an antique, it's... it's quite modern cuz it's got plastic in it.

It's got a drawer and everything.

You could actually have a little bird in there, a little love bird or something, or a chicken maybe or something.

VO: Looks like a turkey to me.

I like this.

What's this here?

A kettle?

It's like a kettle but with a, like a... Looks like a fire... Oh.

It's a... it's a fire extinguisher.

VO: Oh dear.

Catherine, I think someone could do with a hand.

If you were to buy something in this cabinet, what would be your top thing?

I like that... You are... you are a man of style.

I'm a man of style.

VO: You heard it here first, folks.

What is it, though?

It's an art deco tea set.

We've got the tray underneath.

I like that.

We've got a teapot in the middle.

And then we've got the milk and the sugar either side.

We've got 400.

What would it achieve?

Can we knock them down maybe?

A bit...

The thing is, what you've got to remember is that is plated.

That is not... What does that mean?

BOBBY: Silver.

CATHERINE: ..silver.

So it's not everyone's cup of tea.

Well...

I love it.

I would like to pick that...

It's nice to look and love.

VO: Watch out, they're behind you!

Ooh.

What are you doing?

Are you finding stuff without me?

No, we're in this bit!

We're in this department.

No, you're not.

No, you're not.

Oh, I've seen something I like.

I've seen something I like.

It's you, it's you.

Pinocchio.

It's Pinocchio.

It's you.

Liar.

VO: Cheeky.

Oh, lordy.

Excuse me.

Catherine.

SHEILA: Ah!

BOBBY: Coming through.

No!

What... Where you going?

Oh.

No, I'm just going through here.

Don't bump your head.

VO: Moving on.

CATHERINE: Come on.

You can have that.

Another... another cock.

Less chatting.

Come on, we're got... Bobby, we've got things to find.

VO: You keep him in line, girl!

Time to up your game, James.

That's quite funny.

I remember my grandfather had one of these.

Really?

An oil and vinegar... Yeah, but they're so... JAMES: ..bottle.

SHEILA: ..common.

Harrods cut glass vintage cruet set.

SHEILA: Oh!

JAMES: £28.

So you've got the two glass bottles there.

I'm just gonna... Yeah.

..move those there.

Where does it say Harrods?

Ooh, Harrods.

Ooh!

Sign of quality.

JAMES: They sit well.

SHEILA: Mm-hm.

Um, also check the stoppers.

OK.

If they rock, that's a really lovely fit.

SHEILA: But do you like this?

JAMES: I quite like that.

Let's keep shopping.

Let's do it.

OK. VO: Meanwhile, on the other side of the shop...

I rather like this.

It's got a jellyfish in it.

Ooh, that's quite attractive.

It's quite an attractive... A particularly nice jellyfish, as well.

Oh, this is Mdina glass.

VO: Mdina glass, from Malta.

How much is on that, actually?

BOBBY: About £18.

CATHERINE: £18.

Mm.

CATHERINE: I think that... BOBBY: Oh!

You might be on to something there.

It's not too expensive?

I don't wanna be stung.

I think we could be on to something there.

OK. VO: Kelly's the lady at the helm.

Hello.

Right, we have found something which is rather lovely.

That's £18 then, please.

Right, we have all the dosh.

We've got work to do.

Thank you very much.

Come on then.

Bye bye.

Bye bye, folks.

Bye bye.

VO: Last in and first out.

Enjoyed that?

I did.

It was a lovely experience and I think we've chosen very well.

VO: What are Sheila and James up to?

Ooh, I like that because I like art deco.

It's a nice color, isn't it?

Green.

I like it.

It's soft and it's warm.

JAMES: Yeah.

SHEILA: I like this.

So that's been acid etched, that one.

Is it?

And green... green glass is often... What does it say?

Hand-painted... French.

Hand-painted.

Uranium glass.

Uranium glass vase.

Lovely... What does it mean, uranium?

They sometimes use uranium to color both glass and pottery.

OK. Cuz porcelain and glass are colored... Mm.

..by metals.

Purple is manganese.

OK. Eh, blue is cobalt.

OK.

So, you like it?

I really do like it.

Do you... do you want to buy it?

Because I think if you buy stuff that you like, somebody else is gonna like it.

JAMES: You never know.

SHEILA: You never know.

Well, let's go and see that lady.

OK, let's.

Now, let me do the kibitzing.

I will.

Alright.

VO: Kibitzing?

The vase is priced at £125, the Harrods cruet set at 28.

Stand by.

JAMES: This is my contribution.

SHEILA: OK. SHEILA: Kelly.

JAMES: Hello.

JAMES: Hi.

KELLY: Hello.

JAMES: Good to meet you.

KELLY: And you.

SHEILA: Kelly, isn't it?

KELLY: Yes.

See?

I never forget a pretty face.

Aw!

We have found two items, that one and this one.

SHEILA: Now, this vase... KELLY: Yes.

..which, um, is kinda nice, you know, is 125.

I wondered if you could get it for 50?

VO: Gosh, first low offer.

Um... VO: She's in pain.

Yes.

We can do that.

Yes?!

JAMES: Aww!

SHEILA: Sold!

Sold!

VO: Crikey Moses!

After that great deal on the vase, they'll pay the modest ticket price of 28 on the cruet set.

Who are... Who's got the money?

Have you got the money?

Well, of course.

Does...

Doesn't the woman always have the money?

40, 60, 80 and you give me two back.

Or...

Thank you.

..shall we call it quits?

£80.

No, you can't.

You... ..you can't be generous in this game.

I think I've done very well.

I think... You've shown me up.

Kelly, thank you very much...

Thank you.

..indeed.

Lovely.

Well, I'll be the porter, shall I?

I'll put the money away.

You lead off.

Lead off.

That's me.

Go on.

So, the Croydon blue.

My bird.

VO: What a slam dunk.

Two items.

Yeah!

Not bad.

I didn't think we were gonna get two items.

I didn't...

I didn't either.

I think they're both winners.

SHEILA: I think so too.

JAMES: Winner!

By George, I think we've got it.

I think Bobby... At least this one shop.

..Bobby's gonna be panicked.

VO: Speak of the devil.

Now, I've heard you're a great supporter of the armed services.

Oh yeah.

Doing lots of entertaining of the troops.

I've been to the Falkland Islands, I've been to Ascension Islands, I've been to Germany, Ireland, Bosnia.

Been on a nuclear submarine.

Um, I've been on an aircraft carrier.

I shake every serviceman's hand and say thank you.

I...

I'm so proud of what they do, and they deserve every bit of support from this country.

It's fantastic.

VO: It's Bobby's connection to the army that's taken them to Gillingham.

VO: Time to put your best feet forward!

Stand right in front of me just there now.

And come to attention.

Hands beside your sides.

Understand?

Understand?

(SHE SCREAMS) BOBBY: Yes, oh!

CATHERINE: Sorry!

Yes.

BOBBY: Yes.

By the left.

Quick... march!

Oh!

Left, right, left, right, left, right, left!

Pick up the step!

VO: Oh, scary.

There's one group of soldiers though, who have given 900 years of unbroken service to the crown and blazed a trail of innovation in every military campaign since.

This is the Royal Engineers Museum, which celebrates the corps that helps the British Army live, move and fight.

DANIELLE: I'm Danielle.

BOBBY: Oh, Danielle.

I'm the collections manager for the museum.

Oh, lovely.

Now, I've got a question for you.

When did the Royal Engineers start out?

The engineers can trace their origins back to 1066, when... At the Hastings?

Yes.

When William the Conqueror brought the King's Engineer over with him, you would've seen the King's Engineer building castles and forts.

They even prefabricated some before the Norman Conquest and brought them over with them in sort of almost flat pack.

VO: The most notable of the King's Engineers was Gundulph, often credited as the founding father of the Royal Engineers.

He was also the Bishop of Rochester, which cemented the corps' ties to Medway.

Gundulph built a number of castles including Rochester and Colchester as well as the White Tower at the Tower of London.

VO: But it was another 600 years before a regiment was formed.

Royal Engineer Privates are known as sappers, a term derived from the French word "sapper", meaning spadework or trench.

It became connected to the engineers during the 17th century, when they dug attack trenches.

But the corps also performed road building, mapping and ordnance - skills that were put to the test by Wellington during the Battle of Waterloo.

BOBBY: This map is the original map.

And so would Wellington have drawn on this?

He would indeed, actually.

Yes, you'll find there's pencil marks towards the top right hand corner here which that Wellington used to actually mark where he wanted to put his troops for the Battle of Waterloo.

And it was done by separate engineers who would have created 10 different sections using, um, a sketching technique rather than proper surveying.

And what they would have done is gone back to... to their base, and actually it would've been drawn up properly.

So unfortunately Wellington was a little bit too desperate for the map, so they had to give it to him as it was.

So that's why it is in this quite unusual shape and format.

VO: In the early 18th century, one of the corps' most esteemed engineers, General Sir Charles William Pasley, campaigned for the Royal Engineers to receive further training in combat engineering.

And in 1812 the Royal School of Military Engineering was established here.

It arrived just in time.

So in the 1800s, when the British Empire is growing, what role were the engineers playing?

Well, the Royal Engineers were everywhere, really.

And their work would have involved, um, again, fortifications and cede works in any wars that were going on.

So when we branched out into Crimean wars, they would've been building roads, railways, wells, landing piers, and in Crimea they laid the first telegraph which was used for field communications.

So everything.

They were instrumental.

VO: As technology evolved in the 20th century, so did the remit of the Royal Engineers.

We're moving forward in time.

We are indeed.

Um, which brings us, I presume, to World War I?

Am I correct?

1914, I believe.

Was indeed, yes.

The First World War was a real massive time of change for the Royal Engineers, and saw the corps grow massively.

They became involved with railways, mining, tunneling, gas warfare, the development of tanks, and also camouflage.

How did they regress to World War II?

The corps became involved in bomb disposal, and also development of the advancement for D-Day.

So they built the Mulberry harbors.

What is Mulberry harbor?

Mulberry harbor was developed by the allies to enable the attack of D-Day on 6 June.

So they developed a floating pier system, which would enable them to get supplies in, troops, and vehicles, to help with the attack on D-Day.

VO: From its humble beginnings in medieval times, the Royal Engineers now boast over 8,000 skilled personnel, who work both behind and on the front line as the engine room of the British army.

VO: Where did Sheila and James get to?

Presumably you've been in some lovely cars, haven't you?

Well, my first car was a Lincoln Continental.

Oh, lovely.

And the second one was a Cadillac.

When I moved to England, I went to Jaguars.

Then I moved to Majorca, I had a Thunderbird Concept.

So, um, yes.

So I've always had good cars.

VO: You'll give him an inferiority complex, Sheila.

Still, the Cortina is carrying them safely to their next stop, the village of Lenham.

This looks fun, doesn't it?

SHEILA: Yeah.

JAMES: What a lovely village.

Let's do it.

Got a good feeling about this place.

I've got a good feeling.

SHEILA: Yeah, you too?

JAMES: Bargains.

Excellent, excellent.

VO: That's a good start.

They've reached Corner House Antiques and Interiors.

Our pair have just over £320 to spend.

Is this supposed to make a sound or does it just give you air?

Where's my expert?

VO: Braxton!

Hello.

Supposed to make a sound, or what is it?

It is.

It's from the squeezebox.

How come it doesn't make a sound, though?

Doesn't it?

Why?

I don't know.

Maybe... Do you know how to play it?

You've got to get them in, haven't you?

Oh!

JAMES: I tell you what... SHEILA: What?

..Sheila, you hum it, I'll strum it, OK?

(HUMS) Now that had...

It's the beginning of a horror movie, that.

..absolutely no use whatsoever.

Goodbye!

(THEY LAUGH) I think we'll leave it.

Oh, I think we'll leave it.

VO: Moving on.

Alright.

Come on, girl.

Let's... let's concentrate.

What is this?

Look at this.

Well, this is... this is rather funny.

This is... Something from outer space.

It does look like outer space!

Yeah.

But weirdly, this is outer space... Mm.

..but it's Victorian.

So it's 19th century.

It's not!

VO: It's actually a firedog, used to support fire irons in front of a fire.

Normally they come in pairs.

And this was made by a very famous designer called Christopher Dresser.

Uh-huh?

But the funny thing is, you...

This is a man who was totally ahead of his time.

It's...

It's fun, isn't it?

..it's kinky.

It's quirky.

It's quirky.

It's... JAMES: Just concentrate.

SHEILA: It's quirky.

It's quirky.

It's been a long day.

It's quirky.

I like that.

Alright.

And it's got... What's he got on it?

£90.

That's too much.

Well... You can do the kibitzing, I think it should be... JAMES: Kibitzing.

..half price.

Well, you're...

I must say... No, no, no no.

I...

I'm in the presence of a master here.

SHEILA: Ah, no... JAMES: At the kibitzing.

..but so am I.

A definite maybe.

Because if I'm gonna...

So let's see... Cuz I found something as well.

JAMES: Let's see.

SHEILA: OK. What have you found?

What have you found?

I've found something.

VO: Oh, lead the way, Sheila.

Aha!

Now... Uh-huh.

..this, monsieur...

Here.

..this related to the coronation of the Queen.

JAMES: Solid silver?

SHEILA: Solid silver.

Is it silver?

Feels heavy.

Solid silver.

What does it say there?

It's got a... it's got "by royal appointment" there, hasn't it?

I can see TK and S. Toye, Kenning and Spencer.

VO: Holders of a royal warrant to produce gold and silver items since Victorian times.

So that's the Queen's coronation coach.

I don't think it's '53.

I think it's 1977.

Why?

Because that's what it says on the hallmark.

Hey, we did Charles' birthday at the palace when he was 30.

'79.

Really?

Yes!

Yes.

So there's a little bit of a royal connection there.

I...

I...

It's... Cuz it's not cheap.

165.

Yeah, but we could get that down.

You can.

SHEILA: You think?

JAMES: I think you can.

I think I can too.

If anybody can, you can.

VO: I hope you're ready for this, Lynne.

Ah, here we go.

Look at these.

Really lovely items.

The only issue we have is price, though.

What can we do on that?

Yes, let's go with your thing...

Your... your...

I think we've only got the one, haven't we?

..flying saucer.

Flying saucer.

Yes, we have unfortunately just the one.

VO: The flying saucer, or firedog, is £90.

I...

I'm looking around 40, Lynne.

What are... what are you looking at?

Well, I'm looking at 60.

I was looking at 30.

Can we do 50, please?

Well actually, I don't think 50 is bad.

I think...

I think...

I don't think 50 is bad.

I'm gonna shake Lynne's hand.

Alright.

Is that allowed, sorry?

Yes, of course it is.

What about your little thing?

VO: Cheeky.

The ticket price on the model coronation coach is 165.

Shake your hand at 110.

You got a deal.

110.

Really?

What happened there?

110.

Well done.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So what's the total?

Well done, partner.

What's the total?

That's 160 altogether.

Thank you.

I think you've counted money before... somewhere.

VO: Money paid, time to hit the road.

I said...

I think we've got some unusual stuff.

You've done... We did well, eh?

SHEILA: I'm not too bad.

JAMES: Did we do well?

I'm not bad at finding stuff, am I?

JAMES: You're very good.

SHEILA: It's very... You're good, you're... ..interesting to find out.

I think you're a natural.

VO: Oh.

Well, she's certainly quite the haggler.

That makes a smashing four buys on day one.

And that means Bobby and Catherine are playing catch up.

Well, we've dabbled with antiques today but what do you want to do tomorrow?

Do you want to spend it big, Bobby?

I'm gonna look out for something which touches me emotionally.

And... Cuz that...

I'm filling up here!

VO: Yeah.

Big day for you two tomorrow, so sleep well.

VO: The sun's a-shining in Kent but are our celebs up and at 'em?

I'm ready to rock and roll, kiddo.

VO: That's what we like to hear.

And Bobby?

I feel as though I'm just dragging my feet a touch.

I am very competitive.

Don't be fooled... Oh, I...

I know.

..don't be fooled by this calm exterior that I have.

You know doggone well I'm not gonna let you win.

VO: Ha ha.

They're ready to rumble.

And do they rate their experts?

Isn't it amazing, their knowledge?

Oh, unbelievable.

Oh my God, I was so impressed.

And I think I...

I think I surprised James, quite frankly.

How was your shopping with the lovely Sheila?

I couldn't stop her.

Great haggler, as well.

Is she?

Really good haggler.

Oh.

I knew she would be like that.

She was... she was... she was in for buying anything.

VO: James is back behind the wheel of the 2CV, now known as... Lovely Dolly.

Lovely Dolly.

Dolly is lovely.

Uh-huh.

Lovely to look at.

JAMES: Yeah.

CATHERINE: Awful to drive.

JAMES: Awful to drive.

CATHERINE: Really.

I really like Catherine.

Dreadful driver but a cracking girl.

I never stop telling jokes, though.

It must drive her actually up the wall.

I think it might.

Thing is, it's really hard to take him seriously.

And he talks so fast.

VO: Well, he's gonna have to pick up the pace shopping today.

Time now to show us what you've got.

There he comes.

That little ball of energy.

He is a ball of energy!

And a very good morning to you!

That's what he is.

Look at him!

Come here, gorgeous!

Come here, gorgeous!

Reunion!

Hello... Oh!

I've missed you!

You look amazing... Oh, thank you.

..Sheila.

Amazing.

You look great in red.

How are you get... How are you two getting on?

We're getting on... Sheila!

I love it.

Have you missed me?

I have missed you.

SHEILA: Mwah.

JAMES: I have missed you.

So James, how do you think you got on shopping?

I think we did really well.

Great haggler.

Top haggler.

Eh, how many items did you buy?

Cor blimey, how many items?

We got, uh... what was it?

One.

One?

One item.

Well, let's see it.

Only one?!

But boy, it's a cracking item.

Come on, I'll show you.

OK, show us.

Let's see it, let's see it.

Where is... You never bought that.

Where is it?

Where is it?

This is what it is.

You never bought that!

I did.

Look at that.

Ask me how much you think this is worth.

£10?

No.

I think we were... Five.

If it was only worth £5, then we were definitely stung like the jellyfish.

This... ..is a... this is a wonderful... Oh!

This is a... Had you worried for a second.

CATHERINE: He loved it.

BOBBY: I like it.

Yeah, but will anybody else?

Jellyfish is something you generally avoid, isn't it?

Right, you don't like it.

I'm gonna put it... No, wait, I didn't say I didn't like it.

I just said nobody else will.

VO: The paperweight cost a lightweight £18.

Right, let's have a look at your... your purchase.

OK. Go on.

Ta-da!

What... what is that?

So here they are.

Look, enjoy.

What's... What... what is this?

It's lovely.

It's got a good name but it's a bit boring.

It's a bit bland.

Don't burst my bubble.

We're gonna sell... we're gonna sell that for a profit.

VO: Sheila and James' other buys were the bird vase, firedog, and model coronation coach.

They spent just shy of £240 in total.

Right.

Right.

Well, good luck.

Right.

Right, come on.

Come on then.

VO: Let's crack on, shall we?

Oh, here we go.

Do us a favor.

That'll do.

Keep it in second.

That's it.

Keep it in second.

VO: Right, what did they really think of their rivals' buys?

That was boring.

That's the sort of thing you shove to the back of your cupboard and forget about.

I don't really like that paperweight thing.

You don't like the paperweight.

But, uh...

I really don't.

It's got that look of...

When you go and buy fish and chips, right?

You would... You don't bother with things like that.

You don't bother with things like that.

What a waste of money.

I tell you what... CATHERINE: Honestly!

BOBBY: ..I feel sorry for them.

They're on a mission to really up their game today.

Do think that Bobby's going to buy more tat.

Excellent.

I do.

I do.

Today, my friend, we are going to give them a good run for their money.

We have got to give them a good run for their money.

We are going to.

We're gonna beat them down.

Beat them down.

VO: They mean business.

VO: Next stop for Bobby and Catherine is Kent's county town, Maidstone.

They're headed for Trash or Treasure.

It's believed there was a natural spring here in Victorian times, but will inspiration flow today?

Um... Oh, a hat!

Hey, here we go.

Di-di-di-di-di.

We turn.

Da-da-da.

Da dum!

Da dum!

VO: Ah.

A nice little number, you two, but time's a-ticking.

What do you think of this clock?

Well they've put "probably French".

It is 100% a French movement, definitely, in the back of that.

It's late 19th century.

These were very popular.

Problem is that these today, they are... Look at the size of them, they are cumbersome.

Too heavy.

Heavy.

Marble, chunky, heavy bits on your mantel... You do not want this on your mantelpiece.

Well, I wouldn't cuz I haven't got a mantelpiece.

And that's got £95 on it.

Honestly, today they're sometimes selling for £20, £30.

Which is criminal.

VO: It would be likely to rob you of profit too.

Veterinary box.

Imagine that you had a poorly horse.

(BLOWS AIR) What's the matter?

(BLOWS AIR) The local vet...

He's cold.

(BLOWS AIR) Freezing.

The local vet would come along with his little chest here of ointments, try and make your little horsey better.

They are asking... Yeah, I...

I mean... £125.

What would you do with it?

I wouldn't buy it for a start, right?

VO: Another "neigh", but don't give up yet.

£1 each, optician's lenses.

(AS EUBANK) You can do many people, you could do, um, Chris Eubank.

Then you could be (AS PATRICK MOORE) Patrick Moore, with his... ..or Lord Charles, do you remember Lord Charles?

(AS LORD CHARLED) Righty ho, this is Charles... Righty ho...

Anyway, we won't be buying any of them.

I don't know where you get all this.

And the next word is...ding.

What about this?

Antiques.

This... You're gonna tell me all about that.

..I like.

Now, I tell you what.

This might be of interest.

Go on then.

I'll tell you what it is, it's a picture frame.

CATHERINE: Yeah.

BOBBY: And it's from 1909.

Yeah.

Now, that's a practical thing as well as being an antique.

I rather like that.

What's it made from?

It's made from copper.

And?

And... metal plate.

Right.

Brass?

Brass plate.

On wood.

VO: Bravo, Bobby.

And it's in the ..style of... Don't look on the, em, label.

It's in the style of...

It's arts and crafts.

Oh, I don't know arts and crafts.

It's arts and crafts.

And arts and crafts was all about handmaking objects.

This is handmade?

It's against...

The whole thing about arts and crafts was it was rebelling against the industrial revolution.

OK. Oh.

Rebelling against mass production.

Do you like it?

I like it.

What's on it?

Well, it's... 55.

..55.

Maybe he could do...

He's a very nice man that owns this shop, and we've gotta be nice to him cuz he's spent all day washing his hair and he's come out without it.

So don't upset him.

VO: Ha ha.

I think he heard you, you know.

Aha!

Tony, how are you, sir?

Hi, how you doing?

Good.

We have found something.

This picture frame.

Alright.

Um, we like it.

Um, and the ironic thing is this lady in the picture happens to my grandmother.

The chances of that.

So it's... it would be very very personal to me.

TONY: Yeah.

BOBBY: Getting so tough.

He's filling up here.

I am filling up.

To have a picture of my grandmother... Is there any movement on £55?

Probably best 25.

Take it, take it.

25 is... 25?

..very good.

I think that's a great price.

25 it is.

25.

Thank you very much indeed.

I shall give you some money.

If it goes wrong, you can blame me.

BOBBY: Done deed.

CATHERINE: Thank you so much.

That's wonderful.

VO: First buy of the day in the bag.

Meanwhile, how are Sheila and James enjoying their morning?

Sheila, are you still singing?

Oh, yeah.

I do concerts all the time.

And private functions, and... um, I tend to do a lot of pantos.

But... And your favorite character in panto?

Well, I like to be the fairy godmother.

Because...

..I played...

When I played the wicked queen, I'd go off stage and cry cuz I've never been booed in my life.

And everybody's saying, "Oh, it's great.

The more they boo, the more they like you".

I don't wanna be booed!

No, no.

I just wanna be loved!

You wanna be loved?

Yeah.

VO: Well, James is certainly all smiles when it comes to his leading lady.

VO: They're taking a spin 10 miles north to historic Chatham on the river Medway.

The dockyard here was once a Royal Navy hub, and the ebb and flow of sailors from around the globe meant the area became a melting pot of culture and music.

George Hornby of the Medway African and Caribbean Association knows the story.

How busy did this dock get?

There were hundreds of ships in this river.

Yeah.

..at any one time.

Really?

There were scores of languages being spoken.

Yeah.

There were thousands of people from all over the world.

Big old melting pot here.

It is.

And have been so for centuries.

Yes.

There always have been a very large number of black sailors.

SHEILA: No?

GEORGE: Yes.

Yes, yes.

Because lots of sailors died then where the... What did they die from?

Eh, ship fever, scurvy.

All sorts of diseases.

Especially if they went to more tropical places.

OK.

Uh, and so they'd then need to recruit local people who looked as though they'd be handy on board a ship.

And they'd... SHEILA: OK. JAMES: Strong.

..recruit them and... That's right.

Oh!

We had strong young men and so when they returned here, Chatham, the crew was different from the crew that had left.

SHEILA: Oh, really?

JAMES: Really?

And... and it included quite a few black people.

VO: Many of the sailors who docked in Kent would come to call the county home.

Carol Stewart, the chair of the association, picks up the story.

A lot of the sailors, they obviously settled here.

Gotcha.

Um, so they met and married local people here.

Of course.

So hence the diversity of the region has changed.

Did, uh, black culture, did it start coming into art and literature?

Definitely.

I mean, certainly through the research that we've done here on the presence of black people in Kent, we learn about Olaudah Equiano, who was known as Gustavus Vassa.

VO: Originally from Nigeria, Olaudah Equiano spent eight years travelling the world as a slave to a Royal Navy officer before buying his freedom in 1766.

He'd go on to write an autobiography detailing his experiences.

He met with William Wilberforce at Barham Court, um, in Maidstone, um, so with other clergyman to talk about strategy in terms of the abolitionist movement.

VO: William Wilberforce was an English member of parliament who was part of the movement that ended the slave trade.

Thanks to the likes of him and Equiano, Britain passed the Slavery Abolition Act in 1833.

So let me take you below deck so you can get to experience what some of the conditions were like for sailors on board at that time.

OK. That'd be great.

Lovely.

Lovely.

So here we have the area where the sailors would have slept.

You'll see the hammocks here... Wow.

So, um, yeah, not very glamorous conditions.

They were...

Very small.

It... it being so cramped as well, they had to find ways in which they entertained themselves.

So a lot of them were very talented.

Mm.

So, sort of music and song became quite traditional... Mm.

..to keep... to keep their spirits going.

Would you think that the sea shanty songs came from these conditions?

You know, if you think about Wilberforce and Equiano and the abolitionist movement... Mm-hm.

..and John Newton... Mm-hm.

..who, again, he wrote the song Amazing Grace.

He was, you know, quite big in the slave trade.

Gotcha.

Um, and then sort of repented.

JAMES: Yeah.

CAROL: And became the clergy.

He saw the light.

He saw the light.

I was blind and now I see.

Exactly, exactly.

That... that... That gives you strength to go on.

It does.

VO: Slavery in America would not end until after the Civil War in 1865, some 30 years behind Britain.

Soon afterwards, a university was set up in Nashville, Tennessee, to educate emancipated slaves.

VO: To raise funds, an a capella group of nine students, known as the Fisk Jubilee Singers, embarked on a European tour, and performed here, at Rochester's Corn Exchange.

The British audience, whilst familiar with black music, were ready to hear an authentic rendition.

What sort of music were they singing?

They began with the traditional, handed-down Negro spirituals.

They were elegant.

Mm.

They were beautiful.

They were well dressed.

Mm-hm.

They were well mannered.

Yes.

And the music that they made... Was beautiful.

..was beautiful.

So where they as successful as the Three Degrees on tour?

Ha!

Ho ho.

Oh!

You smarmy... Well, that would be impossible.

Oh.

But they... they were the most successful group in sort of late Victorian Britain...

Right.

..and in Europe.

You know what?

I'd love James to see where they performed.

Yes.

Can we have a look?

MAN: Yes.

SHEILA: Yeah?

Yep, come up the stairs, please.

OK. Oh, I wore the wrong shoes today.

Oh, God!

It's lovely...

Wonderful.

Wow!

What a space.

It was a sellout every time they performed here over decades.

JAMES: Really?

Uh... As almost every place that they performed...

Brilliant.

Um, one of the song that was a great hit was Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.

Really?

Would you like to hear a recording of...

I'd love to.

..the Fisk Jubilee Singers?

Here's the actual Fisk Jubilee Singers singing.

SHEILA: Fabulous.

JAMES: Wow.

MUSIC: "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" by Fisk Jubilee Singers VO: And there's a surprise for Sheila and James today, as the Rochester Grammar School year 12 choir are here to perform that very song.

..sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home...

They're more musical than I am.

Oh dear.

We're in trouble.

We are.

They're... they're all singing melody.

Shall we go do some harmony notes?

I...

I'll take your lead, Sheila.

Come on then.

Right, go on.

Go on.

Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home, swing low, sweet chariot... VO: The arrival of the Fisk Jubilee Singers on these shores helped to break down racial barriers and spread African American culture in Kent, and that rich heritage is still championed by the Medway African and Caribbean Association today.

Coming for to carry me home.

Woo!

Well done.

Well done, ladies!

VO: Now, are Bobby and Catherine making sweet music together?

Catherine, I...

I've got something I wanna give you.

Have you?

Diamonds, jewelry?

No.

CATHERINE: No?

BOBBY: Something of gem.

Oh!

Look!

Flowers!

I picked them.

Flowers!

Beautifully arranged.

Beautifully arranged.

Here, look.

They'll look nice here.

Where can we put them?

Up there.

Only... Look at that!

In Dolly... Dolly loves them too.

Dolly's got flowers.

VO: Ah, isn't it sweet?

They're pootling along to the village of Chart Sutton.

Well, we've still got a little bit left.

A little... BOBBY: We have.

..bit of money left.

I'm pretty happy so far, now.

Good.

Are you happy... you happier?

I have...

Yes, I'm a lot happier now.

Good.

We're moving...

I feel more confident.

We're moving forward.

We are making progress.

VO: And it can't come fast enough, as they've still got a whopping £357 in the coffers.

But it's OK, they're headed to... ..a garden center, apparently.

They've got lots of flowers but we need antiques.

BOBBY: Antiquey.

CATHERINE: Antiqueys!

Old things.

VO: Luckily for Bobby and Catherine it's also home to Chart Sutton Antiques Centre.

That's a relief.

Now, this is more like it.

Is this it?

This is it.

I feel it.

Have we done good?

VO: Better get stuck in then.

(AS FRANK SPENCER) Oh Betty, I've got a bit of trouble choosing antiques.

VO: Oh, he's a wag.

Let's crack on.

There's some really interesting things in here.

What about this little thing, this little box?

That... that looks like some Chinese silver.

You see, they call it white metal but it's probably silver.

It's just a lower grade of silver.

And it's got an embossed dragon chasing the pearl, flaming pearl.

Quite like that.

Even the one behind it.

Where's Trevor... Oh Trevor's here.

Trevor.

Hi Bobby, you alright Could you...

Yes, I'm lovely.

We're loving this shop, it's lovely.

Good, glad you're enjoying it.

That's great.

Could you, um, get these two things out?

These two little boxes.

This one?

Yes.

Now, oh, I like it even more.

I'll hold the Chinese one.

VO: Bobby's got his hands on a 1930s art deco silver cigarette box.

If you were like... put this on a dressing table and you'd put your little rings in there.

Could be a trinket box.

Hold both of them.

Yes.

Tell me which one tells you quality.

That one.

Exactly.

That's a much much better quality... And... and it's got, like, a little mark on it.

Yeah.

That's a much better quality.

So that'll be the hallmark... Yeah.

..which tells you the date.

Somebody's polished that.

Somebody's loved it, cherished it and polished it.

BOBBY: You've sold it to me.

CATHERINE: So much.

Someone's loved it and cherished it.

That's what it has.

It has a magic about it.

VO: And a ticket price of £95.

Have you gone off this one?

Well, you said "which is the better quality?"

I guessed right.

Well, that's...

This is more ornate.

Mm.

VO: The Chinese dragon box is £85.

Which one would you recommend me to go with?

Well...

I like them both.

The thing is, Chinese silver's doing very well at the moment.

Is it?

Or we could do a deal on both of them.

Well, that's 85.

85, hm.

Two for 100 quid.

Two for 100.

Yeah, go on.

Trevor, you're a gentleman.

Put them up there behind us, we'll go off and find some other stuff.

OK. VO: Whilst they have another root around, let's catch up with Sheila and James.

We're off to our last shop.

Yes.

JAMES: Last shop.

SHEILA: Yes.

And we've got £162.

Yes, we do.

So in my book, we're broke.

So we have to go in... ..and find a real... ..really good bargain.

We need to find that... that sort of elusive sleeper... Where we need to find that... Yeah, yeah.

..the golden ticket, don't we?

I think we do.

35 minutes before the shop closes.

This is seriously, a serious blitz.

VO: Yep.

Best hurry on to Otford.

Oh, look!

There's the shop.

Oh, OK.

There's the shop.

It must be.

VO: They've arrived in the nick of time at Otford Antique & Collectors Centre, which is rumored to be haunted.

We've done well.

Wow.

VO: But at least our shoppers are in fine spirits.

Megaphone.

Hello!

Oh, I don't think I need that.

VO: Closing time is creeping ever nearer, you two.

Look at that.

SHEILA: Ah!

JAMES: That's quite fun.

Now, interestingly, I wanted a rocking horse because I wanted a really really old one because I never had one as a kid in the ghetto.

SHEILA: And I always... JAMES: No?

..wanted to...

I used to see them in... in films like Oliver and things like that.

SHEILA: You know?

JAMES: Yeah.

So, um, that would be... that would be cool.

JAMES: Quite sweet, isn't it?

SHEILA: Yeah.

I don't think the doggy's to do with it.

No, the doggy doesn't go.

And I'll...

I'll just move that over so we can see it in its glory.

Aww!

It's quite a nice small one, isn't it?

Yeah, exactly.

It's not gonna take up a whole lot of space.

And you've got a... a rather nice woolen, sheep's wool mane there.

Yes.

And it's, uh, a... Dappy.

..a dapple... dapple grey.

And it's been used, hasn't it?

I think it's good.

I think it's good.

£49.

I'd expect that to be priced at... ..79, 89.

Well, we're gonna get it for less than 49, anyway.

I know.

Well, it gives us the opportunity.

Shall we talk turkey?

Yeah, let's talk turkey.

I think you need to do your haggling.

VO: Brace yourself, Angie!

Hi, I'm Sheila.

Hello, Sheila.

Hi.

SHEILA: Nice to meet you.

JAMES: I'm James.

Hello, James.

Good to meet you.

Good to meet you.

Now, we kinda fancy that old rocking horse.

SHEILA: Because it's... ANGIE: Right.

..so old and it's... it's taking up so much space in your shop.

You really need to get... You have a lot of stuff in here.

We do.

You've got a lot.

ANGIE: We have...

Yes.

SHEILA: You need space.

JAMES: Blocking the gangway.

ANGIE: We do need space.

How would you like £25 for it?

Um, I think 25 probably might be a bit too low, actually.

OK. How about 35?

Then you've got a deal.

Yes.

I think we could do that.

SHEILA: Yes!

ANGIE: Yes!

Yes!

Well done, well done.

She was very kind with you.

Lovely.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Let me just find you some change.

There we go.

That's a good idea.

Thank you.

There you go.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

JAMES: Isn't that nice?

SHEILA: Yeah.

We did well.

SHEILA: And we're done.

JAMES: We're done.

We're done!

Yay!

Well done.

Well done.

Well done.

VO: Take a bow, you two, while we see how Bobby and Catherine are getting on back in Chart Sutton.

They've already agreed on £50 each for the Chinese dragon and art deco silver cigarette boxes, leaving them with just over £250.

What's that up there?

Little compact thing.

What... what period is that?

Eh... art deco, cuz it's got these lines down the side.

Yeah.

Did you... Yeah, you see.

And what... Oh, you see.

I'm not just a sweaty, sunburnt face.

And it's got, even got powder in it.

It has got powder in it.

Hasn't got the puff but it's got the powder.

It's the top of the Empire State Building.

This is...

Exactly.

This is American and they took a lot of their... Oh!

..inspiration from architecture, the streamlines.

There you go, that does look like one of the... Do you know what that would look quite nice with, the little silver box thing.

That would look nice with that.

VO: The silver compact's £65.

Any other last minute finds?

This.

This bell.

I don't know what bells are like but it's got a good rope on it.

Look.

(LOUD CLANG) Ouch.

It does a bit, doesn't it?

Makes your ears ring.

It is a proper 19th century bronze bell and not a reproduction.

It's not a repro, then?

So that... that's good, isn't it?

Yeah.

Cuz there's so many.

It's got a good rope.

I like the rope on it.

Love the rope, actually.

Really love the rope.

And it's got a good big dong, hasn't it?

CATHERINE: Yes.

A big clapper.

BOBBY: Is that what it is?

That's what we call it, a clapper.

Clapper.

I love...

I love this.

And this would... Could be picked up for a publican.

Let's do it.

I'll call the police!

(RINGING) Yes, that's nice.

I think they'd all run away if they heard that.

It's £145.

A bit expensive.

Mm-hm.

Do you wanna go and find Trevor and ask him?

BOBBY: Yes.

CATHERINE: Yes?

BOBBY: Good idea.

CATHERINE: Come on, then.

Can you carry that?

I think I've just got about... just about enough energy left.

Come on, then.

Come on.

And we're off.

(LOUD DING) Oh, hello Catherine.

Doing his books.

Oh, have you found something else?

Did you not hear us?

Busy doing his books.

I did...

I did hear a little bit of a ringing sound.

We found a couple of nice objects.

OK. Again, a little bit pricey.

And I'd like to see what you'd be prepared to take for them.

OK, fair enough.

Let's see what we can do.

110?

I can...

I could do that for 30.

30.

And what would you do the bell for?

30.

The bell really has got to be 110.

Oh, I see.

140 for the two.

120.

Let's do 130.

125.

Yeah, go on.

Sold!

Very generous, very grateful.

Sold for £125.

Thank you very much indeed.

That's really...

Thanks, Catherine.

..generous.

That... that is a good thing.

Thanks, Bobby.

VO: Ding dong.

£95 for the bronze bell, 50 apiece for the two boxes and 30 for the compact.

Total?

£225.

Done.

Happy?

Happy.

Right, I know what I'm carrying.

One, two, three bits of silver.

Are you alright with the bronze?

I'll have to be, won't I?

Eh?

I'll have to be.

Thank you very much, Trevor.

(DINGING) Unclean, bring out your dead!

VO: And with that, the shopping is complete.

That was jolly good fun.

I think we're done.

It was good fun.

I've really enjoyed your company, and... Have you?

I've enjoyed shopping with you.

But the biggest reward comes at the auction.

VO: Fingers crossed, eh?

Sweet dreams, folks.

VO: Well, isn't it glorious?

Our trippers are motoring to the auction.

Any jitters?

Are you excited about it though?

I'm excited cuz we're gonna beat your butts.

Yeah!

You can't go wrong with a rocking horse.

Somebody's... CATHERINE: No.

..gotta want one somewhere.

Somebody will definitely want it.

Exactly.

Yeah.

No, you'll do good.

It could go either way, couldn't it?

What, the rocking horse?

No, the rocking horse just goes back and forth.

You don't go sideways.

No, no, no, no.

You don't actually go anywhere, to be honest with you.

VO: After exploring the Kent countryside, our teams have headed 130-odd miles west to beautiful Christchurch in Dorset and Bulstrodes Auctioneers.

Lovely jubbly.

I'm really... Are you ready for this?

Yeah.

I'm ready for it, bring it on.

Ready for the jellyfish.

This is...

I'm so excited.

I really am.

VO: This place has been in business for 100 years and our teams are hoping for the sale of the century.

They had a budget of £400.

Sheila and James shelled out just over £270 on their five lots.

Quite like this.

What is it?

What do you mean what is it?

Vase with a budgie on it.

Overspent?

£50, what do you think?

I'd like....

I'd like to think they have, but I've got a feeling this is probably worth a little bit more.

I think they might be alright on that.

Hm.

Hmm!

Don't come close to my jellyfish, of course.

VO: Bobby and Catherine spent just a few pounds less, 268 to be precise, adding the compact to one of the silver boxes to make their five auction lots.

This is their bell.

It looks as though it should hang up.

Heavy.

See, no...

I had that bell that Edward VII built for Lillie Langtry on the first house I bought in England.

Yeah.

And I take the bell everywhere I go when I move.

That's rubbish.

VO: Don't mince your words, then, Sheila!

The lady in charge today is the lovely Kate Howe.

Thoughts?

The arts and crafts copper frame in today's auction, this photo frame is a typical example of that.

There's been a lot of interest off the internet and I think that'll do well.

The silver coach, this is a lovely item.

It's beautifully made, it's in fabulous condition.

There's been interest in this and I think the quality alone will make this sell really well today.

VO: We've got bids coming in today on the phone, the internet and bidders in the room.

Right, let's get comfortable.

VO: Kicking things off is Sheila and James' bird vase.

There we go, £20 for this vase, £20.

No, it's worth more, come on.

Look.

SHEILA: More.

JAMES: Yeah.

SHEILA: And more.

JAMES: Hey, we could... We could, yes.

28.

Go on, 30 on the net.

£30, £30.

Come on.

Come on then, come on.

It's out now.

At £30 and it sells.

Oh no!

No.

JAMES: Sheila!

CATHERINE: Oh, Sheila!

Sheila.

VO: That's a disappointing start.

Wah wah wah wah wah wah.

VO: Bobby and Catherine are starting with the combined lot of the compact and cigarette box.

£20 for the two pieces, 20.

Two.

I think she's got it right.

Dead right.

No, come on!

Alright.

Real silver.

30.

35.

Bid's on the internet £35, two little bits of silver.

We're at 40.

JAMES: 40.

CATHERINE: Come on.

Internet bids again.

Oh, they're stealing it off us.

At £45.

No, should be a lot more than that.

Oh, lot more than that!

Continues at 50.

Of course it continues.

I mean, they're quality.

55.

Art deco pieces.

60 bid now.

60.

Bid's on the internet.

Come on, keep going.

How much did you pay for it?

SHEILA: 80.

BOBBY: 80.

80.

Come on, internet.

65.

65.

It's at £65.

Last call.

£65.

SHEILA: Well done.

JAMES: Well done.

Well, you did well.

BOBBY: No!

SHEILA: I mean, considering... That's right.

..how cheap these people are, you did well.

VO: Don't say that too loudly, Sheila.

Well, I thought they'd do better than that, though.

That's not bad.

They're not... they're not spending today.

Thank you.

Thank you, yes.

Sit down.

They think you've made a profit.

Yeah, exactly.

We made a loss, for God's sake.

They're not to know, are they?

VO: Now, Sheila and James' Harrods cruet set.

£10, let's start.

£10.

Oh, come on!

Oh, £10.

14, 16.

At least it's going.

18.

18 on the internet, 18.

£18.

Come on, little oil and vinegar bottle.

Marked "Harrods".

Best money can buy.

At £18 then.

Oh, blimey.

Dear oh dear.

I have no confidence in you at all.

VO: I think you're in trouble, Brackers!

We're not doing too badly, are we?

We... Not too badly?

You mean, we're not doing too well.

Turn it down.

VO: I'm not sure she's convinced.

Now, Bobby's dragon box.

£20 to start me.

Probably silver, marked underneath.

Could you say it's "definitely silver", not "probably silver".

28.

It's alright, it's bidding.

Higher, higher.

Look.

£30 the little box, 35.

40.

Five.

45.

We need a bit more.

Bit more.

Bit more.

Bit more than that.

Bit more.

Keep going.

More than that, I think it's worth.

Any more then?

At £45 for this little box.

Selling to the room at 45.

Now you try... Oh!

VO: So near yet so far.

I didn't think you were gonna be competitive.

I didn't think you were...

I'm really competitive.

He's really competitive.

VO: Next we have Sheila and James' sci fi style firedog.

What should we say for it, £20 somebody.

Use it as a doorstop or... You're having a laugh.

..very avant garde paperweight.

20 quid.

Come on, £20 somebody.

BOBBY: Rubbish.

KATE: Surely somebody.

It is iconic though, isn't it?

I mean it's a nice...

It's gotta sell.

10 then.

Oh, come on.

10.

10 is bid, 10.

12, 14 on the net.

16 in the room, 18 on the net.

18, 20.

£20.

It's on the internet.

Is that above what we paid or below?

JAMES: No, no.

It's very below.

SHEILA: Come on, come on.

JAMES: Go on.

Come on, come on.

We shall sell to the internet at 20.

Oh no!

Dear, dear, dear.

Don't make me laugh, I've got a cracked lip.

VO: It was a difficult sell without its matching pair.

Sheila, that wasn't your choice?

SHEILA: No, it wasn't my choice.

JAMES: No.

No, no.

VO: Now, can Bobby and Catherine turn things around with their arts and crafts photo frame?

Let's start at £20, see where it takes us.

20.

Two.

This should do very well.

Come on!

KATE: 26.

CATHERINE: Come on, come on!

Wow.

BOBBY: It's good.

How much did you pay for it?

BOBBY: Who's bidding?

SHEILA: How much you pay for it?

Come on, keep going.

Keep going.

30 on the net.

On the net, good.

Five in the room.

Thank you.

35.

Back in the room at £35.

Only cuz of the year he was born in...

Call it a day then?

Oh no, come on!

Keep going.

Come on.

At £35.

Put it down.

Oh!

Yeah!

How much did you lose?

No, we didn't.

We didn't.

We didn't lose.

We made a profit.

They won, they won!

VO: The first gain of the day.

Well done, you two.

How much did you win?

25.

BOTH: That's good.

So what are we up then?

That was our best thing.

10.

10.

Up 10?

VO: Now, let's hope Sheila and James haven't backed the wrong horse here.

What are we going to say for that then?

£20 for it, somebody?

Come on, 20.

JAMES: Oh no.

KATE: £10 surely.

Oh!

Nobody want it at all?

£5 then.

SHEILA: Oh, come on!

Sympathy vote.

Come on, £5.

BOBBY: You can use it for firewood.

Wey!

£5 we've got.

£5, £5.

Anybody out there on the internet wanna make it six?

Nope!

I'll take pound bids.

Come on, £5 we've got.

Anybody make it six?

No?

SHEILA: Anybody?

Any... SHEILA: 5.50?

Anything, as long as it's money, we will take this afternoon.

£5 then on our maiden bid.

Are we done?

BOBBY: Yes, it looks like it!

Oh!

It's so... Sweet Jesus!

Oh!

Fi...Five quid.

VO: Deary me.

Talk about...

I cannot believe it!

..flogging a dead horse.

VO: It's Bobby's favorite now.

£20 for it please, £20.

20, come on, bid it up.

20.

CATHERINE: Come on.

KATE: £20.

Come on!

Beautiful!

It's beautiful.

Well done, 22.

Oh no.

It's in the room.

We're gonna sell it now.

22, quick.

Sure you don't wanna miss this?

Hang onto it.

At 22, well done.

24.

24.

£26.

26 quid.

Yes.

28.

28, 30.

30.

Oh no.

No more?

This is lovely.

£30.

At the back of the room then, we're going to sell it now at 35.

It works.

35.

Sure.

Are you sure, sir?

No one else wanna come in?

It's at £35.

Signed piece of art glass at £35.

Thank you, whoever it was.

Well done.

It's like a living nightmare over here.

Yeah.

How much profit did you make?

I might...

Uh, doubled it actually.

VO: Bravo that man.

You're... Look at him!

Cock a hoop, I am.

Look at this smile.

He's turned red.

Smiling like a jellyfish.

VO: Now for Sheila and James' final lot, the model coronation coach.

£30 to start me for this, please, 30.

Five, 40.

And five.

She's got lots of bids... 50, and five.

..on the internet.

£50.

£50.

CATHERINE: Come on.

SHEILA: Come on.

Yes.

KATE: 55.

SHEILA: Yes!

Come on!

KATE: 55.

SHEILA: Yes!

Yes!

Go on.

55.

It's at 60 on the net.

£60, and five.

65.

See, quality will come out.

Quality will come out.

Keep going, keep bidding.

Come on, 70... At £65.

Thank you.

History.

History.

Thank you.

Have you had anything yet that's made any money?

Don't be so picky, Bobby.

VO: A lovely item, but it just wasn't the day for it.

It'll be another coronation year before you make money, I think.

VO: Will Bobby and Catherine's last lot ring in a profit?

Right, come on then.

£10, let's get it gone.

10.

Oh, please.

Come on.

All the hands shoot up in the air.

Fi... fi... five.

£10.

10... Wey, internet's back in at 12.

14, 14.

Come on!

Ring it again, ring it again!

16 over that side now.

18 on the internet.

20.

20, two.

Get the donger working.

(DINGING) 24.

24.

24, let's not miss any bids.

Wey, 26 on the internet.

28, sir.

Go on, you know you want it.

28, £28.

What's going on?

It's... Come on!

It... it is a famous bell.

30.

Come on, someone.

Use in a pub... Fire bell.

Oh God, this is so cheap.

30.

Thank you, madam.

£30.

£30 seated here.

30.

Anybody else?

At £30 and it sells now at £30.

We did lose on that.

Well, we lost... Yeah, but we won on so many other things.

VO: Hell's bells.

Come on, then.

Let's go and redeem ourselves and have some lunch.

Yeah, alright then.

Come on.

Oh.

VO: Don't be too deflated, folks.

Some you win, some you lose.

Let's crunch the numbers.

VO: Sheila and James started off with £400.

After today's saleroom fees they've made a loss of just under £160, leaving them with a final tally of £240.16.

VO: After taking into account auction costs Bobby and Catherine also made a loss, but of nearly £96, ending this trip with £304.20.

They lost the least so they are this road trip's winners.

It's all done!

It's all finished.

Oh!

That... That was hard!

How do you do this for a living?

I know!

That was...

I...

I...

I feel rather traumatized by the whole thing.

I know.

I thoroughly enjoyed it.

It's been...

It's been so much fun.

Come on.

I've had a really... Go on.

Right!

Let's take you back.

All aboard.

It has been so much fun.

I am...

It has been.

I am crying with laughter.

SHEILA: You are.

You have no more eye makeup on!

Have you enjoyed it?

Oh, girlfriend, it's been nothing but a barrel of laughs.

JAMES: It's been good.

It's been really good fun.

Bobby, you've said nothing.

I have had a wonderful time.

Ah, well, I tell you what, if I see a Mdina paperweight, I know where I'm sending it.

(ALL LAUGH) VO: Toodle pip!

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