VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts...

Which way are the bargains?

VO: ..behind the wheel of a classic car... Do you know where we are?

No.

VO: ..and a goal, to scour Britain for antiques.

Act one, scene one.

VO: The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

Ta-da!

VO: But it's no mean feat.

There'll be worthy winners...

Woo!

Happy dance!

VO: ..and valiant losers.

Heartbroken.

Close your ears.

VO: Will it be the high road to glory...

It's just delightful, isn't it?

VO: ..or the slow road to disaster?

VO: This is Antiques Road Trip.

VO: Yeah!

VO: Ah, the green lanes of Britain, perfect for a trip in a classy classic motor.

If you were a car, what car would you be?

Well, I'm quite happy being this one, thank you very much.

Would you be a Mercedes-Benz?

Is that what this is?

Yeah.

Oh, good Lord, help us.

VO: Ha-ha!

It's all change on this leg of the trip, the red roadster has been swapped for this 1965 Mercedes 220SE.

At the wheel is our very own Catherine Southon, and on co-pilot duties, Philip Serrell, looking happy!

PHIL: I like this car, but in a way I kind of preferred the other one.

The other one, well, it was a lot narrower.

I think I'm doing quite well on this, actually.

Well, on the grounds we haven't hit anything yet, you're doing very well.

VO: Philip, you cheeky so-and-so!

Point and squirt, that's your approach to driving.

No, it's not!

Well, yes, it is actually.

I'll have you know I'm a very, very good driver.

Who's told you that?

Oh, shut up.

VO: On their last leg, Philip needed a firm hand.

PHIL: I just don't know what to do next.

CATHERINE: (SCREAMS) VO: Ha-ha, and Catherine showed she had the mettle!

CATHERINE: What d'you think?

VO: Not that it made any difference at auction.

VO: It was a question of who lost the least.

HENRY: Done, then.

VO: Catherine started this trip with £1,500, but has managed to whittle it down to £390 for this last outing.

Ah.

Philip started with the same sum, but has a little bit less, with £295 to spend.

CATHERINE: Well, I bought rust.

It's very Serrell.

PHIL: Woodworm.

CATHERINE: I prefer mine.

VO: And while Catherine has won three legs to Phil's one, it's the Serrell pride at stake on this last road trip.

PHIL: What I'm going to do this time?

I'm gonna spend every shilling, that's what I'm going to do.

You do this really annoying thing where you walk into a shop and you buy things instantly.

And lose money.

VO: Our hopeful hunters started in Bristol and foraged eastward, through Hampshire and Surrey, before ending up in Hertfordshire.

They'll be offering up their wares at the auction in Aylsham.

I could walk around... PHIL: And do!

CATHERINE: ..10... PHIL: And do!

CATHERINE: ..10 times... PHIL: And do, often!

..for hours.

Yeah, I think I've spent years of my life watching you walk round shops.

VO: Yeah.

This leg ends with an auction in the aforementioned Aylsham, but we kick off in Great Baddow, in deepest Essex.

The village has been called one of the most handsome in the county.

It's picture-perfect on a lovely day, like today.

CATHERINE: Feeling good?

Sun is shining.

PHIL: I've been here before.

CATHERINE: Have you?

PHIL: It's just dawned on me.

VO: D'you know, is there an antiques shop that Phil hasn't been to?

PHIL: After you.

CATHERINE: Thank you.

PHIL: Go to the left.

CATHERINE: I am.

VO: Baddow Antiques is packed with curiosities, carefully chosen by manager Martin.

Well done, Marty.

Your money or your life.

Don't shoot.

VO: Remember, Phil has £295 to spend.

You've got two tables here and they're very, very similar, but the difference is that this is really a country table and this is a town table.

VO: The larger table is made of oak and the smaller town table of mahogany, which you can tell by the much tighter grain.

The little trait that tells you that this is destined for a town house is you've got this little dish top around here and that's a trait, really, that was designed for a town house.

But the thing is, do you know what, they're both kind of yesterday's tastes, so that's another thing I'm going to leave alone.

VO: And you are the auteur of style, Mr Serrell.

Let's catch up with Catherine.

Ooh, can't resist.

Can't resist a little game of poker.

I am rubbish at poker, but I'll give this a go.

VO: Poker dice are used as an alternative to cards and, instead of spots, have pictures on the various suits on their faces.

OK, let's get shopping.

Cabinets, cabinets, cabinets.

Now, most people would look at that, maybe a lipstick holder?

But lipsticks in the 1930s, 1940s were much smaller in size.

What else could it be?

Remember these?

There we are.

You're playing poker, you're playing bridge with your friends.

This is for the person who has everything, 1950s dice holder.

But £159... it's not for me.

VO: And any profits would collapse like a house of cards.

No admittance, staff only.

Sometimes, if you make friends with the owners of the antique centers, they might let you come in and have a look at what's behind the scenes.

Oh, yes.

Hello, lovely, you alright?

This is... How come you're in here?!

Well, I get to all the best places.

CATHERINE: How come you're behind the scenes?!

PHIL: Well, you know how it is.

D'you feel at home in these?

CATHERINE: Yeah.

D'you know what they are?

Well, from the set square, Masonic, I'm guessing.

Yeah, these are the Masonic chairs.

And so you've got the Worshipful Master, who's like the captain of the lodge.

CATHERINE: That's you?

PHIL: Er, yeah, obviously.

I know the secret handshake.

PHIL: Go on, then.

CATHERINE: Is that right?

CATHERINE: Isn't it?

PHIL: I don't know.

Well, you are one, aren't you?

A proper one, I am.

D'you think I'd be allowed in?

PHIL: There are lady Masons.

Can I come into your lodge?

Absolutely.

VO: Come on, folks.

This money isn't going to spend itself.

I've walked round the shop probably about four times now and I think I've managed to find the ugliest thing in the shop.

You might think, "Is it Phil Serrell?"

You're wrong.

It's actually...this, a majolica water jug.

VO: Lordy.

Looking at the base of it and the crazing, I'd say it's got a little bit of age, so maybe 1940s, '50s.

I think it's probably a parrot.

Oh, I don't know, or a cockatoo or something, probably a parrot, but a nice water jug.

VO: This pretty fella is based on Victorian majolica, tin-glazed pottery, popular in the second half of the 19th century.

The only thing that worries me... Can you hear that?

Which normally is a sign that it's cracked.

I'm just going to test it out.

VO: Oh, crikey!

CATHERINE: Well, so far, so good.

It doesn't appear to be leaking, let's give it a try.

There you go, out the beak.

Perfect.

I think £20 or £30 would be quite "cheep".

Do you get it?

VO: Hey, I do the puns!

A little bird told me the price is £70, so you might have to ruffle some feathers.

Glad to see you're working hard, Martin.

MARTIN: Yes, yeah Catherine.

Yes.

They don't let you slack.

Well, I found the ugliest thing, so what's the very best price we can do on this?

Erm... Well, I think it has been here quite a long while and it probably needs a new home, so how about £15?

VO: That really is cheap!

CATHERINE: £15.

MARTIN: Thank you.

CATHERINE: Are you sure?

MARTIN: Yes, thank you, yeah.

CATHERINE: You're happy?

VO: Lovely!

While Catherine retires to a corner to count her remaining £375...Phil's found a cabinet to nosy in.

PHIL: So these are interesting, look, because we've got sugar tongs and we've got sugar nips.

Now, these are bright-cut silver and they're kind of indicative of a lady called Hester Bateman.

VO: An 18th-century silversmith making high-quality items for the Georgian home, Hester Bateman is a name to look out for.

PHIL: So, they're priced up at £85.

Honestly, I think they're 15 to 20 quid's worth, without the Bateman name, but the Bateman name does add a certain cachet.

VO: It is rather good, isn't it?

And there's a clue to how I know that... ..because it says it on the label here.

VO: Oh, you are an old devil, Philip!

PHIL: Erm, these...little sugar nips, they're less money, they're priced at £75.

I would think they're probably the last 25 years of the 18th century.

VO: Before it was granulated, sugar came in blocks.

Nips like these were used to put small lumps in your tea.

I'm gonna have a chance with those.

VO: At £75, best sweet-talk Martin.

PHIL: Martin, how are you?

Alright?

MARTIN: Hello, Phil.

PHIL: These little sugar nips, I'd like to buy those for 20 or 25 quid.

Could you do that?

I can do those for £20.

PHIL: Oh, I will shake your hand very quickly there, PHIL: ..look at that.

VO: Hold on to it.

PHIL: There we are, look.

MARTIN: Thank you very much.

It's like shelling peas, this, isn't it?

VO: So, the shopping concludes.

Phil's purchase of the sugar nips leaves £275 in his purse.

PHIL: What is that?

It's so ugly!

Well, it's ugly, yeah.

You're ugly, you make money, so there's hope...for me.

PHIL: I'm in pain.

CATHERINE: And my parrot!

Frankly, I'd rather have my nips than her parrot.

VO: Well, baby, both will fly at auction!

On the way to the next shop, there's time to catch some sunshine, so roof down.

I was on Bondi Beach... Oh, sorry, excuse me.

Play that one more time for me.

CATHERINE: What?

"I was on Bondi Beach"?

Yeah.

It was a day like today, actually, it was very cloudy.

You were Bondi-burned.

I turned into a lobster.

VO: Philip now needs to claw back the auction score, so Catherine's dropping him off in Colchester.

This town was the nation's seat of government in Roman times.

Talking of capital, he's got £275 left and the Shoulder of Mutton could be just the place to spend it.

VO: No, he's not here for a pint.

The old boozer now stocks relics from a bygone age.

That's no good, there's blooming no knob there.

What have we got here?

Well, this is a...

It's kind of on the cusp, really, but the first thing you're going to do with a chair is just make sure that there's no breaks or damage to the legs and these look OK. Like me, it's very distressed and unloved.

VO: Or, just like you, we could say it's authentic!

20 years ago, a chair like this, £350.

Today's world, well, on a bad day, you wouldn't be surprised if it was 30 quid.

And on a good day, it might be 80.

VO: But refurbished, it could last another 100 years.

No price on it but I've got to try and buy it for around the £30 mark.

VO: But all you need to do is get more money in the saleroom than you paid, so don't rule it out just yet.

Where's he off to now?

PHIL: Look at that.

Actually, do you know what?

I think this is really a cool old thing and it kind of reminds me of my dad in a way.

VO: Phil's from farming stock, remember.

PHIL: You've got the pulley here that you'd wind around there to start the thing, and it's a Tarpen generator, I don't know how old it is, it says here it's 1930s or '40s.

VO: Tarpen was a British company making garden machinery and electric generators from the 1930s onwards, and there's no shortage of collectors for them either.

Someone's put a lot of time and effort into restoring this.

Do you know, I wouldn't know whether this was worth 30 quid or 300.

But I kind of guess, if I don't, other people might not either.

Let's see if I can buy that.

VO: And, with any luck, it will generate a profit.

Ha!

The ticket price is £120.

This is interesting, isn't it?

So...

This is a copper arts and crafts tray.

But what really interests me is that you've got a galleon, and the man who made galleons and sometimes fish was a guy called John Pearson, who operated out of the Newlyn School.

And it would just be fantastic to flip this over and find the initials JP on the back.

VO: The Newlyn School produced decorative items, often arts and crafts in design, near Penzance from the 1880s onwards.

PHIL: And, of course, Serrell's law...says it doesn't say JP anywhere.

Because, if it's Pearson, this could be three to £500 worth, but I don't think it's dear for what it is.

VO: This is priced at £75.

I think this is well worthy of further consideration.

I'll put it down there... while I go and think what I'm going to do.

VO: Decisions, decisions.

Remember, the generator is £120, the tray is £75, and the salon chair is unpriced.

Gird your loins, Sam.

PHIL: I think you've got a really cool shop here.

Thank you.

PHIL: Got some interesting things.

I'd like to bid you 100, 110 quid for the three.

What can you do?

150?

Erm...

I'll meet you halfway, that's 135 quid, how's that?

How's that?

135?

Yeah, we can do that.

Alright, shake my hand, mate.

VO: Let's call it £55 for the generator, 45 for the tray and 35 for the chair.

Thank you very much indeed, Sam.

BOTH: Thank you.

PHIL: Legs apart, lift together, off we go.

VO: Time to find your buddy Catherine.

PHIL: I've had an exhausting day, you know?

CATHERINE: I've had a chilled day, actually.

Would you see yourself as one of life's great thinkers?

I think you've answered it, there's no need to say anything else at all.

VO: Well, tomorrow's going to involve a lot of doing and thinking, so... Nighty night.

VO: Next morning... PHIL: Do you know if I had to choose between your singing and your car driving and your whistling...

..I think I'd go and watch grass grow.

Why are you with me as your companion?

Because I love you dearly.

You don't like my driving.

No.

C: You don't like my singing.

P: Correct.

C: You don't like my whistling.

P: Absolutely.

What do you like about me?

I just love you.

VO: Yesterday, Philip got a sweet deal on some sugar nips, then he walked away with a salon chair... Like me, it's very distressed and unloved.

VO: ..a generator and a charger.

He's got £140 left to spend.

Your money or your life!

Don't shoot!

VO: Catherine's kitty is looking more healthy.

She's left with £375 after p-p-p-p-picking up a parrot for £15, down from 70.

..would be quite "cheep".

Do you get it?

PHIL: You and I in this car... CATHERINE: Mm.. ..who does it remind you of?

I don't know, who does it remind me of?

Well, if I said, "Steady on, Bridge!"

Oh, you think I'm like, erm, Bridget Jones?

Thank you very much.

Well, this is what Hugh Grant drove Bridget Jones in on their way to their weekend away.

CATHERINE: Did he really?

PHIL: Yeah, absolutely, PHIL: are we having a... CATHERINE: This exact car?

Yeah, well, you're like Bridget Jones and I'm obviously like Hugh Grant.

VO: With Phil dropped off, Catherine's heading to the first shop of the day at Braintree, 18 miles west, on her lonesome.

There's a lot to be said for solitude, for being by oneself and the hum of the engine.

VO: Braintree, which is famous for a stitch or two.

Firstly, the cloth trade and then silk, in the 19th century.

But it's the town's antique center where Catherine's hoping to weave some profit from manager Tom's carefully curated period pieces.

Something that catches my eye straight away is this lamp.

A little bit like a banker's lamp.

The thing that makes this a bit different from every other lamp is that this is articulated and actually rather beautifully made, it's brass, it's probably 1920s in date and it's got this sort of mottled finish.

I think that it might have been on a lady's desk.

But I think that's one very smart object.

I've no idea on price.

VO: Well, you might have to speculate to illuminate!

Now, as hatboxes go...that is a very nice example.

First of all, it's painted in this lovely tan hue, it's got these sort of patterns that give it the feeling that it's got a grain, so that it's supposed to be wood, maybe like a sycamore or something like that.

Isn't that lovely?

VO: You could call it a decorator's piece, well-used, stylish and you can keep much more than hats in it.

I mean, at the end of the day, it's just an early- to-mid-20th-century hatbox, there's nothing that special about it.

But it looks a very nice example, and I think at auction that's worth £40 of anyone's money.

I'm going to go and have a word with Tom.

VO: There's £375 in the kitty, time for a game of cat and mouse with manager Tom.

CATHERINE: Hello, there.

TOM: Hi, there.

VO: The lamp had a ticket price of £90 and the hatbox was unpriced.

It all comes down to money.

Right.

How does 80 sound on the two?

Can you come up a fiver?

Of course, I will stretch another fiver.

VO: Back in.

CATHERINE: Thank you very much.

Lovely.

I'm sure it will sell well.

VO: Let's call it £20 for the hatbox and £65 for the lamp, which means the kitty is still pretty - ha-ha!

- at £290.

And while Catherine goes to find where she parked the motor, Phil's ended up in Chelmsford.

Our esteemed auctioneer has come to hear about a first that took place here, one that changed all our lives, yet it's something we often take for granted.

At the city museum, Sarah Harvey is going to reveal all and share the significance of a little-known wooden hut.

PHIL: Hi, how are you?

SARAH: I'm good, thank you.

PHIL: I'm Phil, how are you?

SARAH: Nice to meet you.

Why have you got a shed here?

Well, this is the shed in which the very first radio broadcasts in the UK were made.

VO: Italian-born Marconi was only 22 years old when he invented radio.

First used for ships to communicate, it was instrumental in alerting people to the sinking of the Titanic in 1912, but by the 1920s, it started being used for something very new, very exciting and which happened in this very hut.

Nobody had thought about broadcasting to a group of people before, but as the amateur community grew, they started to do these broadcast tests at the Marconi Works in Chelmsford.

They started off...their engineers were just reading out of Bradshaw's train timetables guide, but it wasn't until 1920 they brought Dame Nellie Melba, the most famous opera singer in the world.

Great name, that.

Did they call her Peach?

That's where the name comes from.

PHIL: Does it really?!

SARAH: It was named after her.

Peach Melba and Melba toast.

VO: Aw, everybody loves a dame, don't they?

Well, not this time.

An airplane that was in trouble couldn't call for help because the airwaves were plastered with the sounds of Nellie's pipes.

Bigwigs in London were not amused.

SARAH: They basically revoked the license and shut down all of those experimental broadcasts.

The Wireless Society of London made a petition of over 3,300 people who wanted to hear broadcasting happening again, so the government gave Marconi's a license to do a weekly radio broadcast.

PHIL: Yeah.

SARAH: And that's what happened in this hut.

Do you want to go and have a look inside?

PHIL: I would love to, please.

VO: With a renewed license, Marconi asked engineer Peter Pendleton Eckersley to be in charge.

It would prove to be a landmark in the history of radio.

He was the head of the experimental design team.

Head office would send down a kind of list of things that they were supposed to say and records they were supposed to play.

So, what would happen was that, on a Tuesday evening, they would go to the local pub.

PHIL: Sounds ideal to me!

SARAH: Yeah.

And they would have a fish and chips supper and a couple of drinks, and then they would come back to do the broadcast in the evening at 7.30.

There was a piano that was brought in a wheelbarrow from the local pub, and this went on for a couple of weeks, until one week, Peter Pendleton Eckersley had maybe one gin too many, and instead of doing all of the things that head office wanted to do, he picked up the mic and he talked, and he was a great raconteur, so he told stories, he told jokes, and he went way beyond the length of the program that it was supposed to...

Complete maverick almost.

Head office hated it, but they got hundreds of notes back from enthusiasts who had heard it who absolutely loved it.

I mean, Eckersley really was the very first radio DJ.

Yeah.

He made entertainment radio as we know it.

VO: By 1922, half a million people were tuning in to the Pendleton Eckersley broadcasts and Marconi's radio rivals wanted in on the action.

There weren't enough frequencies for them all to have their own radio station, so the government was really in a bind and so their solution was to just create one British broadcasting company.

The BBC!

It was, yes.

I gotta tell you, I have had an overwhelming desire...

This is Philip Serrell for the BBC.

Thanks to Marconi and thanks to Eckersley, we've got the BBC.

Absolutely, yes.

It all started here, in this very inauspicious little hut.

VO: Next door is the actual piano that featured in these very first radio shows.

I'm afraid it doesn't really work anymore.

PHIL: No, a bit like myself, really.

VO: Since when has that stopped Mr Serrell?

PHIL: Are you ready?

#Dun!

Duh-duh-dun, duh-duh-dun, duh-duh-dun.# I don't know any more.

Sarah, that's been brill, thank you so much, thank you.

SARAH: It was a pleasure, thank you.

I'll go and get some piano lessons.

VO: So, to see a modern radio station in action, Phil's been invited to take part in a phone-in for BBC Radio Essex.

EMMA: Hi, Phil.

PHIL: Emma, how are you?

So well, thank you, thank you so much for being here.

Absolutely my pleasure.

I'm filming at the moment with Catherine Southon.

Catherine is a great mate of mine, she's such good company, she's such good fun.

I have to say, because she's not here... ..she's probably one of the worst drivers in the world.

Right?

VO: Oh, Philip, you absolute rotter!

EMMA: Got another caller here, we've got Claire, who's a big antiques fan, hi, Claire.

CLAIRE: Oh, hi, there!

Ooh, blimey, Claire!

How are you, alright?

CLAIRE: Well, oh, Mr Serrell, I'm such a fan of yours.

Do you... Now you're embarrassing me.

CLAIRE: Can I get a photo of him?

Cuz I would love that and a wee sort of signature?

Claire!

Is there anything else you'd like to say before you go?

Because we need to...we need to play some more music.

Oh, I'm such a bad driver, am I, Philip Serrell?

I thought it was you.

You are always playing tricks on me, so now it's my turn, I will see you on the road.

Enjoy the music.

PHIL: Yeah, God bless, love you lots, hon.

Cheers, bye.

She had you going for a minute, Phil.

I'm rather chuffed with that.

Thank you so much.

VO: Ha-ha.

That was a phone-in show to remember.

Nicely played, Catherine.

I've gotta tell you...you have got the worst Scottish accent in the world.

I thought...I thought it was Mrs Doubtfire on the phone.

VO: Back to business and on to Manningtree.

The last shopping destination of this trip, once home to Matthew Hopkins, the Witchfinder General.

Now, which shop will have our duo spellbound?

That would be the Emporium.

Remember that Catherine has £290... ..and Philip just £140 to spend.

PHIL: Scarf heaven, this is.

VO: But that shouldn't be a problem for either of them in this huge Aladdin's cave.

PHIL: Oh, I tell you what, just look at this lot.

This is all part of my childhood.

Look at this, isn't this lovely?

This is an old steam engine.

So you put your turps or whatever in there, and then you get your boiler all steamed up and that piston would turn this wheel and you'd have a belt across over here to another contraption.

I mean, I can remember these things in farms in Worcestershire when I started, and it'd be driving a chaff cutter or a corn mill or something like that.

That's when you know you're old, isn't it?

When things that you can remember as a kid appear in antique shops?

Blimey, that is scary.

VO: Hey, you're not old and you've certainly got plenty of puff left in you.

CATHERINE: I like that.

VO: What have you found?

VO: Not that you need anyone's permission to spend the kitty.

Rust.

Rust and signs.

I'm always attracted to advertising signs.

Tin on a...like, a wooden frame.

Look at these figures here, in their white vests.

They look very sort of... What am I thinking?

Chariots Of Fire.

And then you've got this writing underneath, I'm pretty sure it's in Hindi, which I'm guessing is somewhere in the lines of, "On your marks, get set, go."

That sort of thing.

From their outfits, it looks a little bit sort of 1940s, 1950s.

It's a bit different.

I quite like that.

It's got £98, but if a deal can be done, I'm the one that's going to be running to auction with this.

VO: Well, you're already out in front, so a gold medal might be yours later on.

So, here, look, we've got...

These are Indian...colonial kind of shutters for doors or windows.

I think these are really cool.

I haven't actually bought anything silly or daft on this road trip, but I have a feeling that might just about to be changing.

But I think, if you put these two together, side by side, put them in a steel frame and then put a glass top on them, would you ever have a cool dining table!

It'd be fantastic.

This is a thing of beauty.

You might think that looks like a little lighter, or maybe like a little vesta case, but there's no striker.

Look at this, this is what we call...a little purse watch.

Isn't that just gorgeous?

It's got a nice ribbed design of rose gold and silver.

It's got the initial of a silversmith, SSM.

They'll be the people who actually made the case, not the movement.

1933, so it's art deco.

VO: Historically, ladies' fashion hasn't favored pockets, so where better to keep her small timepiece than in your purse?

The movement will be Swiss and it looks like it's working beautifully.

So often these get rubbed and the paint sort of flakes away over time, but that's all in really lovely condition.

Price on this is £220, quite a lot of money.

But I might buy this, I think that's really nice.

You know what they say?

Your last spend, go big, go out with a bang.

This is the one.

VO: Well, the kitty is for spending, after all.

Ken, how are you?

Good to see you again.

PHIL: Yeah and you, too.

You've got those Indian colonial kind of shuttered doors.

It's priced at 200 and something, isn't it?

You're not going to take 80 quid for them, are you?

No, it needs to be a bit higher than that.

Can we start with a one...?

90...pound?

No?

Three digits?

If I gave you 100 quid, would you take it?

Go on.

Go on!

£105 and I'll do a deal.

PHIL: Go on.

Eight, 10 and a fiver.

PHIL: Thank you very much indeed.

PHIL: Pleasure.

KEN: See you soon.

PHIL: Cheers.

Bye bye.

KEN: Bye.

VO: So that's Phil all bought up, with £35 left over.

Now it's Catherine's turn to haggle.

She likes the Indian sign at £98 and then the pretty purse watch at £220.

What's the very best you can do on the purse watch?

I can probably get to something like 170.

About 170, OK.

Right.

That's... that's a possibility, we're going somewhere on that one.

KEN: OK. CATHERINE: Now, the sign, I'm looking at around... ..sort of 40, 50 on that.

I can do 50, Catherine, I can't go to 40, but I will do 50 on that one for you.

CATHERINE: Alright, you'll do 50 on that.

I'm going to take that at 50, because I think that's good.

How about if I gave you 190 for the two?

How does that sound?

Yes, go on, we can do that.

Are you happy with that... KEN: Yeah.

CATHERINE: ..for the two?

KEN: Yeah, we'll do that.

CATHERINE: Wonderful, OK.

Thank you very much.

VO: So that's £50 for the sign and £140 for the watch... That was good.

KEN: There we are.

CATHERINE: Thank you very much.

Wonderful and that is me.

On your marks, get set... KEN: Go.

CATHERINE: ..I'm off.

CATHERINE: Thanks ever so much, Ken... KEN: Bye, bye.

CATHERINE: Bye bye.

VO: Which concludes the shopping for Catherine and leaves £100 unspent in the kitty.

CATHERINE: This is a lovely car.

It's luxury.

I kind of... Will you please concentrate on where we're going?

Who's older, you or the car?

Oh, this car is o... How dare you!

PHIL: What?!

CATHERINE: This car is 1960s.

What, you're not telling me you're younger than that, are you?

CATHERINE: You are... PHIL: Get out of here.

CATHERINE: ..you are old.

Yeah, well, I know, I don't need you telling me that, thank you very much.

VO: Ooh!

It's like listening to schoolkids.

Back to the dormitory with you two for some shuteye.

VO: It's auction day in Aylsham, where Daniel Defoe, author of Robinson Crusoe, is said to have dined at one of the local pubs in the early 1700s.

After their sojourn through Essex, our experts have lugged their lots to Aylsham in Norfolk for the final saleroom showdown on this trip.

The current score is three to one in Catherine's favor.

CATHERINE: Stonking things, Phil, we have here.

PHIL: I know, but this is all about me getting some respectability back.

Three-one down, look and learn.

You've got a lot to live up to.

PHIL: Ha-ha-ha.

VO: Yes, expectations are high for the antiques.

Keys Auctions are our hosts today, with bids on the book, on the net and hopefully in the room.

Master of ceremonies is auctioneer Henry Hammond.

At £85 and done, then... VO: Catherine forked out £290 on five auction lots.

What do you think, Henry?

HENRY: I quite like this item.

Old advertising signs are quite a popular market.

A nice, attractive thing.

VO: That is a good sign!

Phil spent a little less, £260 on his five lots.

Thoughts, Henry?

We live in a quite rural agricultural area here and such things are very popular, and we have one particularly keen collector who I'm sure it will catch his eye.

VO: We just need another person to want it too, and we could have a bidding war.

Well, here we go.

VO: First to go under the hammer are Phil's sugar nips.

CATHERINE: Sugar in your tea?

PHIL: No.

CATHERINE: Sugar in your coffee?

PHIL: No.

Straight in here, then, at five, eight, at eight on the internet, then, at eight, at 10 then, at 10.

What d'you you pay?

20 or 25?

HENRY: At 12, then... You can't sell these for 12 quid, surely?

At 12, at 12, at 15 internet, then, at 15.

15, 18, 20 now.

At 22, then, at 22.

Oh, we've raced away to a £2 profit, look.

25, 25... PHIL: Get in.

CATHERINE: Hold on tight.

This is a roller-coaster.

..two, 32, 32, 35, 35.

Internet, then, at 35.

At £35 and done, then.

What I have noticed is that Mr Internet, he doesn't half buy some stuff, doesn't he?

He does.

VO: We're off to a good start.

Stick around, boss, cuz we could make a few more profits.

VO: Next up, it's big, it's bold, it's Catherine's majolica jug.

Someone with a sense of humor would have this.

Or no taste at all.

And...yeah, but people love...like, it's quite kitsch and it's just fun.

I have £5 start on that one, at five, then, at five, at eight then, at eight.

CATHERINE: You see?

They love it!

HENRY: 10, then, 12, at 12, at 12, 15, at £18 and done, then... 20 at the back, then... PHIL: How on earth have you made a profit on that?

HENRY: At 22.

CATHERINE: I love it!

I love it.

That may be the end of the road, at 22.

CATHERINE: No!

Keep going.

£22 and done, then.

Who's a pretty boy?

PHIL: Ugh.

CATHERINE: Mwah!

VO: I think Philip's been pushed off his perch.

Well, that's a profit, and beggars can't be nonprofit makers.

Absolutely.

So what's next?

VO: Your salon chair, actually.

What's it gonna make, Phil?

Well, it can't make a loss, can it?

Can it?

Can it?!

Come on, here we go.

At five straight in.

Five straight in.

Now at eight, at eight, at eight, 10, then, at 10.

At 12 now, 15.

Anybody at 18 now?

At 18, at 18.

I'm feeling your pain here.

20 now.

Ooh, they're hesitating.

In the room, then, at 20 and done, then.

That is a bargain.

That is a bargain.

CATHERINE: That is a bargain, thank you very much.

VO: One lucky bidder indeed.

How are you feeling, Phil?

Here's an old joke for you.

What do you call a pig with laryngitis?

Disgruntled.

VO: Ha-ha-ha.

Don't worry, Phil, you've got three more chances to be in the money.

Now it's Catherine's hatbox.

Great excitement, a couple of commission bids on this lot.

PHIL: Five?

CATHERINE: Ooh.

12.

Good Lord above.

HENRY: We are bid £12 to start on... CATHERINE: Go on.

HENRY: ..this then at 12, at 12, at 12, 15, 18.

Yes!

Keep going.

Anybody else?

At 20 now, 22, 22.

CATHERINE: It's gone quiet here.

Why?

It's a hatbox!

I'm amazed.

They love...

This is making more than your chair!

£25 and done, then.

Wow.

VO: Catherine boxed clever and is ahead by a hatbox.

I'm getting absolutely a complete trouncing here.

VO: Phil needs to level the scores with the doors.

So, next up are my Indian shutter doors, but I think they're probably French.

French?!

Yeah, je t'adore-s!

Zhu-tter doors!

You bowl them, I'll hit them.

Oh, I love it.

I love it.

I'd rather not...I think they're a really good decorative thing, but I just...

I'd rather not discuss the price.

Straight in we go at... £12, romping away.

HENRY: ..15, then, at 15.

Yes!

Come on, Phil, this actually could make a lot of money.

At 20.

I'm with you, baby.

HENRY: At 20.

In the room, then, at £20.

Noooo!

HENRY: Done, then, at 20... 22, then.

At 22, 25.

Anybody else, then?

At 28, internet.

Internet, it's coming back.

At 30.

Anybody else, then?

In the room, then, at 30 and done, then.

VO: Phil's at death's door, alright.

Well, I'm sorry, because you actually took a big gamble there and I admire you for that.

VO: Next in the ring, it's the banker's lamp.

I tell you what, I saw this, and I'm actually quite envious cuz I thought it was a lovely thing.

It's a lovely thing!

It's a really lovely thing.

Really lovely.

And lighting in today's world is kind of really quite sought after.

A very modest start at eight, 10, 12.

Oh, come on, this is a really, really good thing.

HENRY: At 12, 15 then, at 15.

CATHERINE: Come on.

HENRY: At 18, 20, at 20.

Oh, please.

25, 25 at the back.

28, then, at 28.

30, at 30.

That is a good thing.

Come on.

38, then, at 38, 40, at 42.

Please.

45, 48.

48, 50, at 55, then, at 55.

Come on.

At 65, 65, 70.

CATHERINE: Yes!

HENRY: At 75.

Well done.

75, 80.

At 80, at 80, five, 85, 90.

PHIL: Well done, you.

HENRY: At 90.

Thank you.

95, 95, 100.

We've reached three figures, at 100.

At the back, then, at £100.

Done, then.

Well done, you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I did not think that would do three figures.

VO: Catherine's in profit with all her lots so far.

It was a really cute thing, a very nice thing.

VO: Now, Phil just needs the smallest spark from his generator.

Looks heavy, doesn't it?

But it looks...sensational and everyone is looking at it, and you paid 55.

It's the sort of thing my dad would have bought.

If I'm truthful, that's probably why I bought it.

A trip down memory lane for me, this is.

That's very special.

Yeah.

And that's why you bought it?

Yeah.

So if it loses money, I'm going to blame my old man.

And we have several bits of interest in this.

Yes!

Have to start here at the dizzying heights of £22, 25, 25.

This man is having it here.

HENRY: 28, 30, 32 now, 32, 35, 38, 40 now.

50, he's just shouted 50.

50.

At 50, big blow, then, at 50.

Yes!

Anybody else, then?

55, 60.

He's having it, this guy is having it.

70, five.

80.

HENRY: 80.

CATHERINE: Yes!

At 80.

Knockout blow, then at £80 and done, then.

Well, that's a result, isn't it?

I feel like...kind of elated about that.

VO: Thank goodness!

Phil's made some money with the generator.

He was going home with that, no matter what.

He'd have a job, though, wouldn't he?

Yeah, absolutely right, yeah.

Hooray, profit at last.

VO: Next up, it's the Indian sign.

I thought that was quite cool.

I paid quite a lot.

PHIL: How much?

CATHERINE: 50.

And we will get the bidding up and running at the very modest £5.

At five, at eight, then, at eight, at eight, 10 now, 12, 15, 18, internet.

At 18, 20, at 20, two then, 22.

Come on, you'll never see another one of these in a...well, in a hurry.

PHIL: You won't, would you?

CATHERINE: No.

25, 25, anybody else?

28 now, internet.

30 on the internet...

In the room, sorry.

32 now, internet.

35, 35, 35.

Come on, internet, this is... HENRY: Anybody else, then, at 35?

In the corner, then, at £35 and done, then.

VO: Catherine's luck hasn't held out.

That was disappointing...

Thought that had legs, it had a few pairs of legs!

VO: Next, Philip's last lot, the large copper tray.

What did you pay for this?

PHIL: £45.

CATHERINE: 45.

Which I don't think is dear, do you?

No.

Er, straight in at 10.

Nice thing.

12, 15, 18, 20.

At 20 now, at 20, two then...

There could be a nice little profit here, Phil.

HENRY: 25, internet, then, at 28.

30, then, at 32, internet, then, at £32 to the internet, then.

VO: That tray was certainly a looker, and a bargain to boot.

I'm sorry about that because you should have...that should have made 50, £60.

Shouldn't have lost money, should it?

CATHERINE: No.

VO: Now, it all hangs on this lot.

Will Catherine's big spend result in a big profit?

I think it's one of the best lots of the week that we've bought, we've bought?

You've bought?

I think...well, thank you, this is my favorite item.

Your take-home thing.

And I think this has got everything going for it, perhaps except the price.

But we'll find that out, won't we?

And straight in on the internet, then, at 65, 65, 70.

Come on.

At 70, 75, 80, then, at 80.

Ah, this is such a nice piece.

HENRY: At 80, on the in...85 now, at 85, at 85 in the room, not the internet.

90, internet, at 90, five, 95, 95, 100.

100, 110, 110 in the room, then, anybody else, then?

At £110 and done, then.

Oh, that...hurts.

I think that's £100 light, that.

VO: A pretty thing, but not a pretty profit.

That is like a knife.

I think we need to go outside and... CATHERINE: Someone's got a beautiful piece.

Shall we go and cry?

..and regroup.

PHIL: Ready?

CATHERINE: Yes.

VO: Totting up the scores, after auction costs, Phil has a loss of £98.46.

VO: As Catherine lost the least, she's today's winner, with minus £50.56 after auction costs are deducted.

But she's also the overall winner of this trip, beating Philip four auctions to one and between them, they've made £125.80p for Children In Need, so well done.

CATHERINE: Ha-ha!

PHIL: She is never ever... CATHERINE: I do believe that I might have won, haven't I?

..gonna let me live this down.

CATHERINE: Phil?

PHIL: Ever.

CATHERINE: Phil!

PHIL: Ever, ever, ever.

Phil!

I thought we were friends!

VO: Of course you're friends.

Only two besties could have had the fun you two have had.

Bleugh!

VO: Together again!

I don't get out in the country much.

VO: Catherine had a score to settle.

The last two times you have won.

VO: But despite Phil bagging plenty of bargains... PHIL: This is really a cool old thing.

VO: ..Catherine's lots swept her to victory.

CATHERINE: Duh-duh-duh...

Walk of fame!

PHIL: Alright, alright, alright.

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