VOICEOVER (VO): The nation's favorite antiques experts, £200 each and one big challenge.

Cuz I'm here to declare war.

Why?

VO: Who can make the most money, buying and selling antiques as they scour the UK?

It's very good!

VO: The aim is to trade up and hope each antique turns a profit.

Oh!

(GAVEL) VO: But it's not as easy as you might think, and things don't always go to plan.

CHARLIE: (SHOUTS) Push!

VO: So will they race off with a huge profit or come to a grinding halt?

Do you think I'd believe that?

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip!

VO: Making friends - and money - everywhere they go, David Harper and David Barby are on the high-octane journey to see who knows the business of antiques the best.

DAVID HARPER (DH): We've got plenty of money spend.

DAVID BARBY (DB): I do want to spend.

DH: Spend big this time.

DB: I'm cautious, David!

I've been there, I've lost it before!

VO: Well, so far this week, David Barby - also known as Dolly - can't seem to put a foot wrong.

DH: I'm going to have to applaud there.

Well done, well done.

VO: And two auctions in, he's transformed his initial stake of £200 into a fabulous £707.95.

VO: David Harper, meanwhile, is obsessed with both winning this contest and buying anything to do the female form.

DH: She's gorgeous.

I wouldn't mind taking her home.

In the nicest possible way.

VO: Though despite his passion, he's still in second place, with £592.82.

DH: We're almost level-pegging.

You're slightly ahead, by about 100 quid, but... DB: I wouldn't call that level- pegging.

£100 is a lot of money.

VO: Today the boys are trying a new tactic - they're basing some of their most important decisions on their star signs.

DB: Right.

Mars is pushing me to make a decision which road to take.

Good.

Take an expensive road.

DB: "Be fearless", it says.

DH: In other words, David Barby, spend.

your.

money.

VO: I told you Harper is obsessed.

DB: What are you?

DH: I'm Cancer.

Can I have a read?

DB: Oh, the crab.

DH: No - kind, caring, loving and honest.

DB: (LAUGHS) DH: Right, here we go.

DH: "Life is going to get a little faster.

But as things accelerate, keeping up is key."

DH: In other words, spend money on fantastic items, make some profit, and beat Barby.

DB: My wallet is burning a hole in my pocket.

DH: Marvelous.

DB: Let's spend, come on.

VO: This week, we're traveling through Ireland - north and south - then across to Wales, ending our road trip in Llanelli.

Today we're kicking off in Prestatyn, gateway to the coast of north Wales, and our journey concludes with auction number three in the town of Criccieth.

VO: Popular with holidaymakers over the last two centuries, sunny Prestatyn became famous for its beach, clean seas, and promenade entertainers.

In fact, visiting for a cheeky bathe was considered a must for good health by city-dwelling Victorians.

Though its latest visitors are much more concerned with retail therapy.

DB: Wooooooaah!

DH: Right, are you going to drop me off and I'm going to go shopping?

DB: Do you mean I'm going to drive?

I'm going to drive this car?

DH: You know what?

DB: What?

DH: I'm going to get out and you're going to drive the car.

DB: (LAUGHS) VO: Well, it sounds simple enough.

DB: Thank you.

Oh!

Come on.

DB: Right, where are you going?

Over there?

DH: I'm going over there.

DB: Best of luck, David.

Don't forget to spend the lot.

DH: I will!

BOTH: (LAUGH) VO: Heh.

But there's a reason why we don't let Barby drive.

VO: This could take a while.

He's good, isn't he?

VO: So let's move on to David Harper's first shop, aptly named Presents With A Difference.

How much for the novelty skeleton?

DH: Hello.

WOMEN: Hello.

Hello there.

Hi.

My gosh, this is a bit of an Aladdin's cave.

GEOFF: A mixture of stuff in here, all sorts.

A bit of nostalgia, a bit of mud, a bit of all sorts.

DH: That's quite bonnie, isn't it?

This is quite interesting, actually, cuz the first item I'm drawn to is an attractive woman.

I think I've got a bit of a problem, actually, with attractive women.

I just can't seem to help myself.

Maybe I need to go to the doctor's.

Is there a cure?

VO: Oh, please.

Somebody stop him.

DH: If there is a pill for it, I don't want it.

WOMEN: (LAUGH) VO: How about an injection then?

DH: No, she's lovely.

It almost looks like an ancient cameo behind some kind of glass, but it's got a 3D feel to it, hasn't it?

Birmingham, 1937.

DH: It's just at the tail end of art deco, isn't it?

Geoff, talk to me about that.

DH: Could that be horrifically cheap?

Not horrifically, but I could do you...eh, 27.

DH: Really?

20 quid?

OK, I'll squeeze the 20.

That's dead tight, but OK. Good man.

OK, good man.

OK.

Thank you very much.

My first purchase of this leg, so I hope it's going to be a lucky one.

VO: Ha.

Having managed to finally start the Triumph, David Barby is slowly making his way south.

Which brings us to Rhuddlan, a rather peaceful town which has had a very turbulent past.

That's because continual battles between the Britons and the Saxons made plundering, pillaging and raising to the ground rather common occurrences.

It's also here, at Rhuddlan castle, where constitutional power over Wales was given to the English in 1284.

VO: And speaking of Englishmen, one more has just arrived at Downsby Antiques, and is trying to strike a deal with young Philip.

Oh, I do love a bit of Macintyre pottery.

PHILIP: It's beautiful, but it's damaged.

DB: That is a firing crack underneath.

Because when I take the lid off...it's not through to the base.

If it's been repaired and they've used a silicone-type glaze on it, it's not a fired glaze, it's an artificial one, it's a false one, and you can actually feel it, either on your teeth or with your tongue.

VO: Yuck!

Let's go with the gnashers.

PHILIP: Watch your teeth!

I shouldn't worry, they're false.

BOTH: (LAUGH) No they're not, they're not, they're not!

VO: Now, what Macintyre pottery is most famous for is launching the career of William Moorcroft, who, as head of the art pottery department in the 1890s, was responsible for some of the company's finest designs, such as this tasty example of Florian Ware.

DB: With the damage, what's the best you can do on that one?

30.

That's a deal.

20.

You've knocked me right down!

30.

20.

20.

It's been here a long, long time.

You want to get rid of this.

No, no I don't.

It's pretty.

DB: Can we split the difference at 25?

PHILIP: Go on then.

It's my first buy in Wales!

That's good, isn't it?

I like that.

VO: As for the other David, he's uncovered a national treasure.

It's Cliff Richard's jacket!

In yellow.

DH: (CALLS) Geoff?

Is Cliff's jacket for sale?

Yes, it is, but I won't take less than £10,000.

VO: Oh.

Well, that's the end of that conversation then.

GEOFF: It brings a lot of people in to see it.

Little ladies come in, they say "Where's Cliff's jacket?"

We say "There", and they stand in front and have their photograph taken, and they quite often walk around and buy something.

It's a good publicity piece, you know.

DH: OK.

So it's probably a bit out of my budget then?

GEOFF: Yeah.

That wouldn't come down below 10!

VO: Ha ha.

Looking to retain his lead, David Barby is now putting together what he fancifully is calling his collection of curiosities.

You put little matchsticks or toothpicks there, and you put them on the table.

These are typical German sort of 1930s, that sort of period.

And they're great wood carvers, particularly in Bavaria.

You think of all those figures that came out of Oberammergau.

This is all part and parcel of that movement.

DB: What's the price?

35 for the pair.

VO: Oh.

That's a fortune.

Time to wheel out the Barby stare.

PHILIP: We can deal on that.

They've been here a while now.

VO: See what I mean?

Scary.

PHILIP" We can deal on that.

25.

VO: Works every time!

VO: David Harper, meanwhile, has found himself a Chinese incense burner, and is employing his trademark tactic: talk the dealer into submission.

Any old tripe will do.

DH: Oh Geoff, look.

Poor little female... dog's had her ear bitten off.

Can you see?

I hadn't even noticed that.

DH: OK. Well, that's a good and a bad thing, really, because looking at the patination on the inside of the bronze there, it has aged, hasn't it?

So that isn't a recent break, so that gives you an indication that it has got some age.

Can it be 25 quid?

GEOFF: Make it my bottom line, 35, and that's only because you've seen that break.

DH: I'll do what every good dealer should do, and that is compromise and meet in the middle.

DH: 30.

32, ain't it?

Oh.

Alright then, OK.

It's done for 30.

OK. Good man.

Thank you very much.

VO: I think this just might be the item to watch.

Well done, Harper!

Marvelous, thanks again.

Absolute delight.

And thank you, lovely meeting you, thanks for being a very glamorous assistant.

VO: Down, boy, down.

VO: As for Barby's collection of curiosities, he's now picked up a Victorian gaming ball, and he's not finished yet.

DB: Often, biscuit manufacturers - and this is a McVitie & Price of Edinburgh biscuit box - would sell biscuits in novelty containers that often had a dual purpose.

This one here, as it looks, is a french commode, and you take the biscuits out, you eat them, and then you could use it as a jewel box.

So it has a multiplicity of uses.

So it's really an oddity.

VO: We all love an oddity, don't we, but this of course means more haggling.

28.

Oh lord.

VO: Here we go.

Thus far, for the toothpick holders and the gaming ball, the lads have agreed £26, so let the battle of the biscuit tin begin.

DB: Come down on that one, please.

26 and 20, that's 46 for the three lots.

Come down to 40, please.

I can't.

DB: Yes you can.

PHILIP: No I can't, no!

There's just one little word you can say... No, you're getting cheekier...

There's just one little word you can say, and that's "yes".

"Delighted".

The nicer word is "no"!

It's not!

In any way - 46, and you're getting a bargain for those.

You say 46.

Let's go for 42, please, and it's a deal.

PHILIP: 45 and it's a deal.

No, 45.

42.

45.

VO: Goodness me, at this rate we'll be here all day!

45.

43.

Phil, please, 43.

Thank you very much indeed.

God, you strike a hard bargain, you really do!

PHILIP: You're the hard one!

PHILIP: Nice dealing with you.

Is it really?!

Yes!

VO: A few miles down the road, we find David Harper, who, as you'll recall, is obsessed with winning this contest.

And now he's even seeking divine intervention... VO: ..which brings him to St Asaph, the smallest ancient cathedral in England and Wales, although perhaps one of the most important.

DH: Chris?

Wow, it's echoey in here, isn't it?

My gosh!

Hello.

Quite so.

Welcome, David.

I'm Chris Potter, dean of the cathedral, and it's good to have you here.

Wonderful.

Thank you very much.

And what a cathedral it is!

CHRIS: It's amazing, isn't it?

VO: This astounding building has been standing since the 13th century and was once the seat of Bishop William Morgan, the man who translated the Bible into Welsh - one single act that has been credited for saving the Welsh language and its culture.

Elizabeth had commissioned it.

She said that people in Wales should have a bible in Welsh, largely because they were all flocking to the Roman Catholic church, and she wanted to encourage Protestantism, and she thought that 'well, if they've got a bible in their own tongue and they read it alongside the English version, they'll learn English'.

The opposite happened.

It actually embedded the Welsh language and it's still flourishing today.

VO: So in 1588, 1,000 copies of Morgan's Welsh edition of the Old Testament were published - one of which takes pride of place here in St Asaph.

DH: So this is it.

This is it, this is the actual copy.

CHRIS: He'd finished it in 1587, then spent a whole year down in London with the printers because they didn't understand Welsh.

DH: Ha!

So he was proofreading?

Yes, he was proofreading.

So he had to do the whole thing down there and oversee every detail.

DH: I'm surprised he did it in just a year - I mean, that's quite a feat.

CHRIS: Yeah, quite.

Faded and grubby I'm afraid.

Beginning of the New Testament.

Year 1588.

And we've got the lion here, and we've got the Welsh dragon, I assume, on that side.

Is that right?

CHRIS: That's right, yes.

DH: Can you understand any of this, Chris?

Just a little bit.

I'm not a native Welsh speaker.

DH: So read me something interesting.

CHRIS: Well, here, just the last bit of 1 Corinthians 13, the famous chapter on love.

"...ffydd, gobaith, cariad, y tri hyn.

A'r mwyaf o'r rhain yw cariad."

"And these three remain: faith, hope and charity, and of these three, the greatest of these is charity."

DH: You know what, I think that will tie in very nicely with my journey with David Barby.

Faith, hope - I live on hope - and we're doing it for charity, so it ties in beautifully.

Perfect.

VO: The impact of this book is undeniable, having been used to teach successive generations how to read and write in Welsh, making William Morgan a national hero.

VO: As our whistle-stop tour of north Wales continues, David Barby is en route to Colwyn Bay, the second of our seaside resorts on this leg.

VO: Also popular with the Victorians, its calling card is its pier, built in 1900, and currently undergoing a little work.

But that's not important right now, as David's found yet another treasure trove.

VO: And frankly, Frank has plenty to show our man Barby, such as this gorgeous Burmese table.

Ticket price - £500!

FRANK: It's Burmese.

DB: Is that the best you can do on that?

FRANK: I'd do it for 450.

DB: I can't see myself getting that back in auction, can you?

In a rural auction.

You... You'd have to have just that kind of customer there.

VO: Well, David does have a wallet stuffed full of cash, and it is such a fascinating piece.

Well, this is the sort of furniture that would have been brought back late 19th, early 20th century by people who had been possibly in colonial service, and it's more of a conventional 19th-century table, but it's embellished in a sort of Anglo-Burmese style.

FRANK: Looking for different, you've got different there.

Well that's perfectly true.

Right, I want to cogitate.

VO: Though just a few moments of cogitation later... DB: I like that.

That's useful.

Right, let's talk about the two objects.

VO: So, as well as the table, we also have one arts and crafts magazine stand.

Your move, Frank.

FRANK: The very best price for the two - 500 for the two.

I must confess, I'm worried about the table, whether in fact it's going to achieve the price that I paid for it at auction.

And I think that it's doubtful.

DB: Frank, could you do the two for 430?

FRANK: I couldn't do that, sir.

As much as I'd love to sell them to you and see what they bring in the auction, I couldn't do that.

I really couldn't.

FRANK: 475 for the two, I'll do you a deal.

And I think it'll do well.

VO: Oh my.

What's a much-loved antiques expert to do, eh?

Have a little think, dear.

(SIGHS) This is a difficult thing.

I love the table, but at the £450 he's asking, I don't think it's going to make a profit.

Oh dear, oh dear.

What do I do?

VO: Well, as the old adage goes, if in doubt, go without.

My horoscope today said I should be fearless and brave.

Go for it.

Good luck to you.

Could I have your name, address, telephone number, just in case I don't make a profit!

I'll buy it back off you.

VO: Though for now, Frank's offering a discount.

Both the table and the magazine stand for £450.

I'd say old Barby must be rather pleased with himself.

What have I done?

What have I done?!

I've spent £450!

VO: Oh dear.

Perhaps we'll find out in tomorrow's stars.

VO: As a new day dawns, filled with possibilities, the two Davids are once again looking for guidance from a newspaper astrologer.

DH: Have you seen your horoscope today?

DB: No.

What does it say?

"Be cautious with your money, step away from impulsive buying"?

DH: Yeah.

DB: "Double the caution alert".

VO: Well, that's a shame, because David Barby's been living life on the edge, spending an unbelievable £518 on four auction lots.

As for David Harper, despite talking the talk... Is there anything wrong with it?

VO: ..he's only parted with £50 for two auction lots.

Hmm.

I wonder what his horoscope has to say about that?

DH: What does it say?

DB: "Try to make sure everybody is happy.

Stop going over old ground and look at new turf."

DH: There you go.

Cancerians, lovely people.

DB: Actually, that was Piscean.

DH: You read the wrong one, didn't you?

I thought it didn't sound like me!

BOTH: (LAUGH) VO: Our first stop today is Llandudno, widely known as the queen of the Welsh resorts.

VO: That's because it was yet another seaside favorite of the Victorians, and even now, the traditions of the day are alive and well.

Punch and Judy are still performing, and there's been continuous donkey rides for more than 125 years.

And yes, I know, that's a seagull.

VO: Traveling at a similar speed is David Harper, who's keen to explore Trinity Trove Antiques, which has just recently opened for business.

PETER: Hi there, Peter Wright.

Peter, lovely to meet you.

Thank you.

And this is your place?

This is my place, it's a new shop, we've been open for about seven or eight weeks.

Have you?

So it's a new venture, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it so far.

Brave man.

Oh, I think everybody's said that to me!

VO: Now, being a newbie, Peter's probably never dealt with the likes of David Harper before, so I sincerely wish him all the best.

PETER: Nice plate.

It's quite basically painted.

Nice butterfly there.

DH: Yeah, yeah.

It's got great potential age, and it's a lovely color.

It has damage, but it's got the yellow painted in there; now, the yellow painted in any Chinese porcelain is always quite exciting, because there were periods in Chinese history where yellow was only set aside for the emperor or his personal entourage.

It was illegal to use yellow during certain periods in China.

Now, that's always a bit exciting.

DH: But I'm very confident that's at least 19th-century.

It could even be 1750.

VO: Ha!

But now for the moment of truth.

Can Peter hold his own when it comes to the dog-eat- cat world of negotiation?

DH: What kind of money is that?

PETER: That's 15.

DH: 15 quid, eh?

But it's a good-looking thing.

That has got a bit of mileage.

Could that be, for me, a tenner?

It can.

Well, I'll have that first of all, Peter, thank you very much, that's good.

But we won't stop there.

You've got that to go with it, don't forget.

VO: Oh dear.

I think Peter needs to toughen up.

Preferably before David finds something else he wants to buy.

DH: It looks the biz.

OK, let's put that there.

VO: Backtracking just a little, David Barby's now headed in the opposite direction of this particular road trip, in order to visit the fabulous Bodelwyddan Castle.

VO: While there's been a house on this site since the 1460s, the current residence is most famous for its association with the Williams family, who were the proud owners for more than 200 years.

Hello.

Hello David, welcome to Bodelwyddan Castle.

Oh, thank you very much.

And you're... My name is Kevin Mason.

I'm so impressed.

First of all with the exterior, and then coming to this hall, which is wonderful.

It's an excellent hall, isn't it, a wonderful entrance to the building.

DB: And what about this floor!

KEVIN: That is the coat of arms of the Williams family who used to own the... DB: The two foxes crossing.

Something about cunning comes to my mind.

Yeah, so strength and cunning is the motto.

DB: Strength and cunning, is that the motto of the family?

VO: By the late 1920s, the upkeep on such a grand house became too much for the Williams family, and finally they were forced to sell.

So for the next 60 years, it was a girls' boarding school.

And when they moved on in the 1980s, restoration began, and the castle was transformed into a museum.

So, this is the first of our galleries.

KEVIN: It's actually called the Watts Hall of Fame.

DB: And what does that imply?

Well, all of the portraits on the walls here are all by George Frederic Watts, it's all part of his hall of fame.

The artist that painted the famous picture called "Hope".

That's right.

He created this hall of fame himself.

KEVIN: He in fact decided who was to be as the sitter.

From around 1850, I think it was, he started this series, and he wanted to create a record of the people he felt were important in the age.

Oh, right, right.

I should be reading eminent Victorians, shouldn't I?

VO: Watts chose subjects from a great variety of vocations.

Thus there are statesmen and military heroes; poets, such as Tennyson and Browning, not to mention philanthropists, reformers, novelists and artists.

But wait, there's more.

KEVIN: Here we are in the sculpture gallery.

Originally it was a drawing room that was created by the Williams family in the 1830s.

DB: In the fashionable gothic style.

Anybody coming to this room, particularly ladies coming to this room, would look at those curtains.

They're absolutely incredible!

KEVIN: Amazing curtains, aren't they?

They are actually reproduction from the 1980s.

It's part of the whole reconstruction of the building to act as a backdrop for the collections here.

As you can see, no expense was spared on the... DB: How much would they have cost in the 1980s?

Well, I understand that the curtains on the ground floor cost in the region of around 160,000.

160,000!

How much now?!

An unbelievable amount!

VO: Well, today it would be closer to half a million pounds and if you think that's a little over the top, just wait until you see the family silver.

KEVIN: So here we are, the Williams centerpiece.

Hence the gloves.

Yes, very much so, yes.

So what date is this?

Sort of middle of the 18th century?

This dates from 1730.

It's the oldest extant example of a table centerpiece.

DB: Oh, this is wonderful.

So if I was at a dining table, round about 1730 onwards, cuz it's obviously been in use; they didn't have electricity or gas at that time, so the candles would have lit whatever was on offer.

DB: So piles of fruit here, and what about these little salvers?

Would they have had sweet meats?

KEVIN: Sweet meats and so on, yes.

DB: Candied fruits?

KEVIN: That's right.

And then we have condiments there.

Right.

KEVIN: But the other thing I would really point out is the coat of arms in the center.

DB: It matches the tile, doesn't it, the crossed foxes.

KEVIN: It's very much a family heirloom passed down generation to generation.

DB: I think I could probably afford 150 on that.

Well, I think you might have to come forward a little bit more than that.

I'm sure I would!

Kevin, thank you very much indeed.

VO: Worth a go, I suppose, and Barby's not our only expert trying it on.

You-know-who's found himself a little bit of local history.

DH: Welsh costumes.

How interesting.

PETER: That's sort of early 19th-century shape, isn't it?

Mid-19th century.

DH: They look very Puritan, don't they?

Puritan dress.

So made in England.

Yes, Staffordshire.

But made for the tourist market in Wales.

So probably bought, under normal circumstances, by someone who might live just down the road in Staffordshire, goes to Wales on his holidays circa 1850, comes back with a novelty piece, showing his friends what the Welsh look like, in that far off land... PETER: Yes, that far off land!

..bearing in mind it would have taken an awful long time to get there, and actually takes it back to probably about a mile away from where it was first made.

Brilliant, isn't it?

Brilliant.

What I love about these Staffordshire novelty things is very often you see the spelling mistakes.

PETER: Yes, and costumes wrong and all sorts of things.

DH: Loads of things are wrong!

PETER: Yes, that's right.

DH: Can I make you an offer on it?

PETER: You can.

VO: And bear in mind the ticket price is £25.

A tenner?

Can you do a little bit more?

Can you do... DH: £10.50?

PETER: Can you do 20?

VO: Peter's catching on.

He's got Harper on the ropes - look.

That's a lot more, Peter!

That's like 100% more!

I know, but I'm trying to come out of it in profit as well.

Are we nearly there?

I'll meet you halfway - 15 quid.

OK. Good man.

Thank you very much.

That's two!

Two pieces.

DH: That's a nice piece.

We know it's 1850.

VO: You know something - I think Peter's going to be alright in this business.

VO: Our next destination - the village of Penmaenmawr.

Now try saying that three times fast.

Penmaenmawr, Penmaenmawr, Penmaenmawr...

Unlike the other seaside resorts of North Wales, Victorian tourists holidaying here also shared the landscape with the mining industry, and it was in this small hamlet that the hardest granite in the kingdom was produced.

Though today, we're just here for the shopping.

DB: (LAUGHS) This is a little child's chair, mid-19th century.

Nice social history.

It's of Elm Construction, and some poor little chap's botty's worn away that, and on the arms where he's been gripping.

And then there's this little hole there, the pot was put underneath, and the child could defecate (SAYS DEEFECATE) VO: Oh, I thought it was defecate.

DB: And there we have a repair, unfortunately.

But a nice little object, I like that.

£85 - well, I think it's expensive.

VO: Now wash your hands.

Not to mention three times what Barby wants to pay, time to find Mick, the unsuspecting owner.

You down there?

Oh no.

You've got a child's potty chair with the most terrible repair on it.

DB: What's the best you can do on that?

What were you thinking of?

I'd like to see it round about 40 quid.

40?!

I don't think I can do it for that.

MICK: Are you a gambling man?

DB: Why?

MICK: I'll tell you what we'll do - we do it at £60 or nothing for a toss.

Oooh!

VO: I can't bear to look.

What are you calling?

Heads.

Oh dear.

DB: It's heads!

(LAUGHS) MICK: That's good.

Oh dear, oh dear!

Mick, that is so good!

Oh my God!

There we are.

Another satisfied customer!

VO: I'll say.

That's one child's chair free of charge.

DB: I can't take it for nothing, I shall have to give you a... MICK: Oh, that's very kind of you, sir.

DB: ..lucky penny.

MICK: Thank you very much.

And I hope it's luckier than the 50 pence I just tossed.

Do you want me to spit on it?

MICK: Please.

DB: (SPITS) Thank you.

Thank you very much.

VO: How disgusting!

Whilst poor old Mick isn't having the best of days, I'm afraid there's more bad news - here comes Harper!

DH: He's in already!

DB: Hello, David.

Welcome to the shop.

Oh, are you the owner?

I am indeed.

Oh, really?

Do you give friends discounts?

I just bought the whole lot.

VO: But not wasting any time, David Harper soon comes across this little gem.

DH: There are a number of reasons why these miniature pieces of furniture were made, but the one I like the best is that when you get married, your father will give you a miniature chest of drawers like this, on your wedding day.

And the idea is that you go off on your honeymoon and when you get back, that miniature chest of drawers is replaced by a full-size one.

DH: What kind of money, Mick, is that for me?

MICK: Em... What were you thinking of?

DH: Horribly cheap would be 20 quid.

MICK: (CHUCKLES) That is silly ridiculous.

Is it?

MICK: Yeah, that is.

Really ridiculous?

VO: Oh.

David, hang your head in shame, boy.

MICK: £40.

Put your hand... DH: 35.

38.

Two pound for luck.

38.

Done!

Good man, good man.

VO: Huh, and with that, it's time for the two Davids to reveal to each other what they've bought.

Who's going to reveal first?

Well you took so long in shopping, I think you ought to.

Shall I go first?

OK. Look away, look away.

VO: I bet he's looking back.

Harper's hologram pendant.

Right.

This basically is a surround for a crown coin.

I don't think it was a crown coin holder.

I think that thing in the middle, the piece of glass... Has always been there?

Yes!

I'm not certain it has been.

I think this is rather like a hologram.

It is like a hologram.

But they didn't have those in 1930.

DB: It's a crown coin holder.

DH: It's not a crown coin holder!

It is a crown coin holder Very interesting.

You've told me nothing that I didn't know already.

VO: Oh, hang on to your knickers, let's move on.

Close your eyes.

Now tell me what that is.

DH: Well, it's a coffee pot.

DB: There's something special about it, David.

Look.

You've got 'M'...

Yes.

DB: ..and then a number.

That is for Moorcroft.

DH: Very good.

What do you think it's worth?

I think it's going to go for something around about 80.

DH: Well found, well spotted.

DH: Clap your eyes on that.

Ah!

Very nice.

It has no pretensions at all, it's a mug that would have been bought maybe as a Christening, maybe as a souvenir.

DB: Good piece of social history, that.

Oh.

DB: This is the cabinet of curiosities.

DH: Well, that's some sort of gaming ball, but I've no idea what that is.

Can I throw it?

Not in the shop!

Maybe outside.

And then, I couldn't resist these!

Toothpick holders.

DB: (WHISPERS) Yes!

Wide open mouths with little teeth ready to be picked!

Oh, they're brilliant.

VO: And now, courtesy of David Harper, we're off to the Orient.

DH: Out of here, are pouring the spirits of your ancestors and my ancestors.

DB: I like that immensely.

No Chinese reign mark, but that's a good thing, because when you come across Chinese bronzes these days with reign marks on...

Always suspicious.

Always suspicious.

DB: I think you've done so well.

DH: It's a very good thing.

DB: I think that's your flier.

DH: Yeah.

VO: Though the best buy would have to be... DH: It's a little 19th-century Windsor child's chair.

DB: That's right, with a little potty provision.

I know, isn't that sweet.

DH: I would say you paid £35 for that.

DB: No, I didn't.

DH: Well, 20 then.

No.

DH: Oh, come on!

A pound.

DH: Pardon?

One pound.

Well how did you pay a pound for it?

Because Mick tossed a coin.

You tossed a coin for the chair?

DB: Yes.

And I'm not a gambler.

Well, I think you should be.

OK, Barby machine.

Talk to me.

Ah.

Never mind that!

This is a nice little piece of Canton porcelain.

DB: There's been a whacking great repair on the side.

DH: I like that, don't you like that?

Yes, the repair.

Beautifully done.

Yes.

DB: Yes.

It's jolly nice, I like the design, but I can't imagine you paid an awful lot for that.

10 quid.

It's a good decorative piece for £10.

DH: Very stylish, very Christopher Dresser type of period.

You're bang on.

You're bang on!

DH: OK, I hope it hasn't got a Christopher Dresser mark on it.

DB: I haven't looked!

BOTH: (LAUGH) I mean, it'd be quite rare to find a maker's mark and I'd be horrified if I found one... Oh my gosh, it's got a maker's mark!

WTS and Co, the sunburst.

DB: Do you know, I did not look underneath.

You must always look underneath for maker's marks on furniture cuz it's so rare to have a maker's mark!

DB: That's right, it's so good!

DH: Right, my final item.

1870-ish, Victorian.

DB: Yes.

Almost like a Scottish chest or a Welsh chest.

David, it's a Scottish chest.

That's how exactly I described it because of that top-heavy drawer.

DB: Oh, David, there's a maker's name on it.

DH: I did see something.

Yes, there's a maker's name on this.

You should always look at the handles!

DH: So that's it.

That's all my pieces bought and shown.

I think you've got some strong pieces actually.

VO: And finally, David Barby's big ticket item.

Ooh!

Don't say a word to me.

I love it.

Anglo-Indian.

DB: I would have said this was Burmese.

DH: Well, just north of India then.

I mean, it's like saying somebody's English or Scottish, isn't it, really.

VO: Burma has nothing to do with India.

DB: It said in my horoscope, "be brave, be fearless, choose the right road".

I paid £400 for this.

It's got to make 500.

DH: It's going to be a struggle.

I think that's going to bomb, or...make you 100 quid.

VO: Who needs horoscopes, eh?

Harper's quite the psychic.

But what do the boys really think?

The stress of buying something I think is unbelievable.

I had a sleepless night last night after I'd bought the table!

DH: I do think he's potentially dug himself an incredibly big pit.

DH: He could well have created himself a black hole of Calcutta.

As regards David's items, I think they are very ordinary, except for the little bronze censer, which I particularly like.

DB: I wouldn't be at all surprised if that doesn't make 300-400.

DH: Because I took the Barby route - spending low - I've got every opportunity in not only winning this next leg, but overtaking the Barby machine, because I think the Barby machine is in big trouble.

VO: After kicking off in Prestatyn, David Harper and David Barby conclude the third leg of their road trip in Criccieth.

VO: Yes, it's another seaside resort, though when Criccieth officially became a borough, in 1284, only Englishmen were allowed to settle within its boundaries.

Mark you, Welshmen did infiltrate, and in 1337 alone, three had to be evicted.

Today their immigration policy is much more liberal.

After all, they're letting these two geezers in.

DH: Look at that scenery!

We can see a bit now, that is fanta... ...have you got your speedos with you, because we're going for a swim.

DB: I don't think so.

VO: First things first, we've got an auction to go to, making our next stop Rousells, where auctioneer Stuart Davies is ready to get this party started.

Nice suit.

Right, quiet please, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to not so sunny Rousells today.

Lot number one we shall start with.

And it is a selection of baskets.

VO: David Barby started this leg with £707.95, and seems to have gone quite mad, spending £519 on five auction lots.

VO: As for David Harper, he began with £592.82 and parted with the more moderate sum of £113, also for five lots.

VO: Now, let the auction begin.

First up, it's David Harper's 19th-century Chinese enamel plate.

STUART: Here we go.

Make your minds up on these, anything Chinese is millions.

STUART: What have we got?

Six, eight, 10, 12, 15.

£15 with the hat here.

I've got 16.

18.

20.

22.

STUART: 25, 28.

£28, yours at 28... (GAVEL) Number 69.

VO: Oh well, there goes David's plans for an early retirement.

I would have bought it, if that's any consolation.

It's a great consolation!

VO: Chin up, Harper.

It's not exactly millions, but a profit nevertheless.

DH: The joys of auctions, the joys of auctions.

VO: Next, it's Barby's arts and crafts magazine stand.

STUART: 30 I have.

I have £30, £30.

Now five.

40.

£40.

Five.

50.

55.

60.

Five.

70.

£70 on the back.

Am I missing anybody now?

£70 up the back I've got and sold at 70... (GAVEL) It's a trickle.

VO: Well, perhaps more of a spurt than a trickle.

Meanwhile, David Harper's gambling Chinese collectibles are the way to go - his next lot, this rather ornate incense burner.

STUART: 20 I'm bid, at £20 I have.

25.

30.

£30.

At £30 only, at £30.

This is a bargain!

STUART: I'll take two over the top if you like.

32.

35.

I have £35.

Come on!

Come on!

STUART: Going then at 35... DH: No, no, no... (GAVEL) What happened there, David?

David?

VO: Oh dearie me.

After commission, that's all hope of a profit up in smoke.

(BA-DUM CHING) Thank you, thank you.

Thank you very much.

VO: Time now for David Barby's collection of curiosities, which includes this novelty biscuit tin, one gaming ball and a pair of grotesque toothpick holders.

Oh dear.

STUART: Have we got 50 to start.

£50.

At £50 I've got.

At £50 I think they're half price.

Oh no!

STUART: 55.

60.

The toothpick holders are worth more than that!

65.

70.

£70.

£70 only.

At 75.

At £75.

DB: That's so cheap.

Sold at £75... (GAVEL) VO: Not a bad return.

Though I think Barby was hoping for more, as usual.

Don't smile!

I'm not!

I'd be smiling if it sold for 20!

VO: So far, China hasn't done David Harper any favors, but perhaps this Staffordshire mug can finally excite the locals.

At £10, 12, 15, 18, 20, two, 25, 28, 30.

£30 up there, I have £30.

£30 is up there.

I'm selling it then at £30... (GAVEL) VO: Well done, David, you've doubled your money.

VO: David Barby's Moorcroft jug is next.

It's a quality piece.

Let's hope he gets a price to match.

STUART: Should be in excess of £100.

Yes!

STUART: Have you got 80, start me.

50 I'm bid.

At £50, 60, 70, £80 I've got.

At £80.

£80 only, I think this is a bargain.

So do I. STUART: 85 DH: Oh... 90.

95.

100.

£100 I've got then in cash.

At 100... (GAVEL) VO: That's a fabulous £75 profit before commission, and it puts Barby firmly in the lead at this auction.

David Barby, well found.

Well found.

VO: Looking to catapult himself into first place, David H's next great hope is this miniature walnut chest.

£50, start me.

50.

30 I'm bid.

£30 I've got.

Five.

40.

Five.

50.

Five.

60.

Five.

70.

Five.

80.

Five.

90.

110.

Is there any more?

£110, is it..?

(GAVEL) VO: Heavens above, that's £72 profit before commission.

Someone's happy.

That's good, that's good.

Thank you very much.

VO: Now this has to clear a profit.

It's a child's chair with somewhere to put the potty.

Two sixty-four.

DB: That really is lovely.

He only paid a pound!

Would you kindly not mention that to the whole bloody room!

£20 I'm bid.

At £20 I've got.

25.

28.

30.

£30.

32.

DH: Unbelievable.

No, stop!

STUART: At £35.

Bargain basement.

£35 then, and sold at 35... (GAVEL) 102.

38 million-percent profit!

VO: Hmm, someone's good at mathematics (!)

VO: But moving on to David Harper's 1937 hologram pendant, all I have to say is holograms were invented 10 years later.

STUART: 20 I'm bid.

At £20 we've got.

25.

25, 30.

£30.

At £35, fresh bidding.

At £35.

The ladies are out, £35, had its time and sold at £35... (GAVEL) VO: And there's a wee bit of profit in there too.

VO: Last but by no means least, it's David Barby's Burmese table, which, thanks to the advice of a newspaper astrologer, he spent a staggering £400 on.

And he's looking worried.

Gosh, I can't bear the suspense.

I can't bear it.

VO: Yes, and neither can we!

STUART: I have got various bids here.

I can start at £350.

350 I've got.

360, 370.

At £370, it's here.

STUART: I think this is cheap at 370.

It is cheap!

STUART: At 370.

Are you sure?

I'll take fives.

375, at 375.

It's like drawing teeth.

At 375.

Any more or not on 375..?

(GAVEL) Ooh!

DH: How do you feel?

Scorched.

Could have been worse.

VO: Well, not much worse.

That's a £25 loss, even before commission.

Well, David Barby, that's it.

Another one done and dusted.

We now need to go and do some figures.

I have learned my lesson.

You were very brave to buy that, and I think it is the best item in the sale, and well done you.

Cup of tea, on me.

Come on.

Well, is there anything stronger?

VO: So, who's won, you ask?

Well, Harper thinks it's him, obviously.

He started this leg with £592.82.

He made a profit of £82.16, giving him a new total of £674.98.

VO: David Barby started with £707.95, and made a mere 18.10 profit, but even though he's lost on this round, he hangs narrowly onto his lead with £726.05.

DH: You escaped by the skin of your teeth, David Barby!

DH: (LAUGHS) DB: But it was good fun!

VO: Join us tomorrow when David Barby minds his language.

(SPEAKS WELSH BADLY) I don't think you'd get very far!

(BELL) VO: And David Harper minds the cash.

I'd give you 200 quid for that, you know.

No questions asked.

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