
Finding Me: A Memoir
Season 22 Episode 6 | 26m 46sVideo has Closed Captions
Charlotte Pfeifer joins Gail Martin to discuss "Finding Me: A Memoir."
In a starkly forthright memoir, Oscar and Tony-winner Viola Davis reflects on her family, longing for love, motherhood and acting. Charlotte Pfeifer joins Gail Martin to discuss the unvarnished story of hard-won, well-earned success of someone who came from a childhood of trauma, violence and harshness. Davis shines through to become an amazing actress and survivor in her book,...
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Dinner & A Book is a local public television program presented by PBS Michiana

Finding Me: A Memoir
Season 22 Episode 6 | 26m 46sVideo has Closed Captions
In a starkly forthright memoir, Oscar and Tony-winner Viola Davis reflects on her family, longing for love, motherhood and acting. Charlotte Pfeifer joins Gail Martin to discuss the unvarnished story of hard-won, well-earned success of someone who came from a childhood of trauma, violence and harshness. Davis shines through to become an amazing actress and survivor in her book,...
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In the starkly forthright memoir Oscar and a Tony Award winning Viola Davis reflects on her family longing for love, motherhood and acting.
Let's meet today's guests.
Charlotte Pfeifer to unveil the life of this amazing actress through the book Finding Me.
Welcome, Charlotte.
Oh, hello, Gail.
How are you?
I'm fine.
It's good to have you here.
And what attracted you to this book?
Viola Davis.
Her life.
And just watching her and movies that touched me and made a difference in the world.
I just couldn't resist.
It is a stark life, isn't it?
It really, really is.
Yeah.
Let's just remind people some of the movies she has been in Yes.
Well, the probably the one that people will remember the most was kind of controversial.
The Help.
Yeah.
And then she was in this wonderful movie with Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Doubt where she played this mother who did like all mothers to sacrifice for her child.
And then she was in Ma Rainey's.
Oh.
Oh.
With Chadwick.
Boseman.
Boseman in it that she wanted the academy.
And of course, probably television artist.
How to Get Away With Murder.
Oh, yes, exactly.
Yeah.
Well, and fences.
Oh, of course.
With Denzel Washington.
So if you haven't seen any of those, you must see them.
They are exquisite.
They're excellent.
But this life in this life was horrendous.
Her life.
Yes.
And let's talk a little bit about this time bomb of a family.
I mean, they I think she never knew what to expect.
Describe the family.
Well, this is a lesson for all of us that lets us know.
You never know who you're talking to, this beautiful, articulate, Tony award winning artist grew up in abject poverty, not only poverty, but it was it was laced with violence, sexual abuse, any kind of ill that you can think of.
Viola Davis experienced it as a child.
And it never has left her.
We'll talk a little bit more about how she has learned to cope with this.
Yes.
But, you know, she lived in an apartment where the rats might jump up and bite you during the night.
And were eating your toys during the night.
And are you going to get up and go to the bathroom?
No, you're.
Not.
So that's going to lead to other physical ailments.
Yes.
And then her parents.
Oh.
What a relationship.
You know, it's amazing.
Her father, not only not only domestic violence, as most of us think about it, but her mother was beaten with boards and glass was broken in her face.
There was blood and broken bones and shouting and screaming.
Yeah.
And the thing about it is, while all this was going on, nobody in the community came to the rescue.
Ever, ever.
That's right.
And nobody reported.
It.
Nobody.
No police came.
Nobody.
What's going on here?
What can we do know?
So we have this basis and you almost can't believe what she went through her experience after school.
Oh.
And then she was after.
After.
Well, to start going to school, she was dirty.
She was hungry.
And she smelled badly.
Yes.
But she was very smart.
And one of the ways they fought back was she and her sisters were very academically top students.
But then when the bell rang, as she got out of school, going home, she was chased by boys.
They threw bricks at her, they threw stones at her.
Anything they could find.
They called her name.
They told her she was ugly.
They they said vile, violent things to her and did vile, violent things to her.
But she was a good runner so she could run home.
And she had a smart mouth, as she says, and she smart mouth and she would say, give them gestures.
And she'd make it home.
And she did that every day.
And, you know, you might say, oh, no, she got used to oh, never, never, never has a child.
This gets imprinted in your life.
Every cell.
Yes.
Every thought.
Yes.
Is struck with this vile.
And and some of these boys, though, were of African descent.
So they weren't just white boys.
The Portuguese lived in that area.
And the Portuguese, this particular group of Portuguese come from a part of the world that is African off the coast of Africa.
So they were and that was what confused her.
How could these black people call her black?
And that confused her a lot.
And she still talks about that.
Yes.
And I just I just want to say this.
The very beginning of this book, you just are your head is spinning.
Yeah.
And before we go ahead and talk more about this, we're we're trying to come up with a sort of a meal party.
You a party?
How?
What are you celebrating?
But what are we celebrating?
Well.
First of all, we're honoring her life, her life's journey, which was simple food and basic food.
Yes.
She didn't want to spend money.
She did even today, with all the money and fame, she still doesn't spend a lot of money on food.
So number one and number two, she took that childhood and made it an incredible foundation.
And now she is rich, she is famous, and she's helping the rest of the world learn.
Sharing her life so that we know that all of us can come to terms with adversity.
Well, and you were just mentioning.
Well, I think we've got to start cooking, but you were mentioning to me that you never get over this.
No, you don't.
And I mean, just to me, it's in you every.
So.
Yes.
It's hatred.
Yes.
And how she learned to cope with it.
Well, you know, I'm really glad you brought that up, because people often say, well, you have to get over that.
You have to get over this.
You can't get over something that not only your life experience, but it formed you, made you who you are.
A better word is coming to terms with it.
Yes.
And not allowing only that to define you.
And that's what Viola Davis did.
She finally did as she got older.
And I think a lot of people are if they can learn to use that as part of who they are.
Right.
And and honor it.
Honor it.
And they got through it.
But, you know, that's easy for me to say.
Yeah, I can say it, but I haven't lived it.
I mean, we've all had our experiences where we think, oh, you know, my mother didn't like.
Me or something about someone.
Yes.
But I was never hit.
I just sort of think, like out.
But let's let's talk about you're making some.
Food based on this.
Yes.
When she went and we're going to talk about this later, but she met the love of her life.
They went on a honeymoon and the servants came and said, what do you want to eat?
And they said, We like chicken and fish and pasta.
Yes.
So that's what I'm making.
I'm making a chicken dish with pasta in honor of Viola Davis.
And it will be tasty and delicious.
Yes.
And healthy.
And healthy.
Of course.
We want healthy.
Yes.
So why don't you get started?
All right.
And I just want to mention that this man that she meets, we're going to talk about the before that.
Julius.
Julius, wonderful.
Julius.
They get married.
15 people are invited up, and then they have three or two more, two more weddings later on to celebrate.
We're still married.
We're still have we still trust in love?
Yes.
Yes.
And then finally, I guess on the third, when she invites the whole.
Family, she does.
And she pays for it, of course, because she pays for everything.
Yes.
And they came.
Oh, you know, the thing is that her mother and her father in particular, who's kind of a villain, always loved her.
And he all her life, even within the domestic violence and his anger, he always said to her, Viola, I love you.
You know, I it's just to me, I say, wait a minute.
That's easy to say.
But what does she have to see her father?
Do I know your mother?
I know.
Well, in any case, I'm making a little Indian order here.
It is good to get this paper.
I put it together.
It's very simple.
Philadelphia cream cheese.
You can mold it in a bowl, but mix in some grated coconut.
You can buy that, you know, grated coconut.
Let it kind of form in the refrigerator.
I sprinkle some more sprinkle a little more coconut on it.
And then I like chutney.
And it is an interesting topic here.
We're going to put it on the top of this.
This is an Indian chutney and in you and you can make a huge one.
You could do a huge bowl of this cream cheese with the grated coconut unless it drip over the side.
In fact, I'm going to serve that this week at an event because I forgot about this.
It has a wonderful Indian flavor and so we will have that with some crackers and then I will do some hard boiled eggs.
That's always it.
You always have hard boiled eggs at a party, don't you?
Either with some caviar or with some.
I have some capers.
I'm going to put in a little chutney.
Not chutney.
Sorry, Curry.
Curry is one of my favorite spices.
I think you said it was yours to have.
Curry, and it has two more again, which is very good for us.
Very, very healthy.
All right.
We're starting with our party for Julius and Viola.
And Viola.
Viola.
Viola or VI or.
Or voila.
Voila.
Wow.
Now, her mother her mother called her Varla because she was from the south and she couldn't say viola.
So we kind of set the stage here for this life.
And she talked about she was born with the one two punch, which I've never heard explained before.
You know what that is?
Oh, no.
No.
You're right.
And you're poor.
Oh, that's the one two punch.
Okay.
Yes, I can.
And I'm working with that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, and and she does mention that several times and she talks about her life that was saturated in shame.
Yes.
So not only violence, she's shame.
Anger.
Yes.
Child.
Yes, it is.
Well, my goodness, I'm overwhelmed.
We're going to just take a little break.
We want to show you some pictures of the family.
And when we come back, we'll talk more about the family and a little bit about her career and where she is today.
Yes, we'll be right.
So now we're right in the midst of doing our cooking.
What are you going to.
Put it in?
Right.
I'm putting the pasta on you guys because remember, she loved pasta.
She did.
And you can have healthy pasta, which is what this is.
Good, good.
Yes.
So we're going to have healthy pasta.
Yeah.
And tell us what you have put in the pot here for you.
I've got chicken, I've got mushrooms, and I have green onions.
Green onions.
And you're adding.
In vegetable broth and I'm getting ready to add cauliflower.
This is one of the healthiest meals you can have.
That's right.
Oil.
No, that's right.
That's right.
That's right.
And I'm going to add a little bit more chutney to my hor d'oeuvres here And I'm doing some hard boiled eggs.
But first, we want to do a little celebration to Viola and her husband.
I want to celebrate Viola for making it through.
Yeah.
To getting to the other.
She did.
Oh, my gosh.
I don't know what I mean by the other side.
Well, they have.
From violence.
The other side of it.
And from poverty to celebrity, which included financial security.
And what worries me is there are so many people for everyone that does.
How many don't?
Yes.
And they are just caught.
And she talks all the time about not having enough to eat.
And that's why we're honoring her by not having frivolous food, but basic food that everyone can have to.
You and Julius.
Well, and I'm going to say to you to show it to you, guess who.
Yes, we're we're celebrating we're celebrating many things.
Yes, we are.
Survival of survival and of a tremendous woman.
And for your being here and suggesting.
Today and she made a difference in the world with other people, that's the biggest thing.
Yes.
You know, we want to talk to about her anger and anger management.
How does she finally get a little bit better off of this road of being so angry when.
You know, she went to therapy?
Yes.
Number one.
Number two, she talked to friends and, you know, number three, she went to Africa.
Oh, that.
Yes.
Yes.
And she when she went to Africa, it just totally turned her around and let her know that there that she doesn't have to try to be someone she isn't.
For instance, she's not white.
She's black.
And and she wasn't born in wealth.
She was born in poverty and that chic.
And she just learned so much.
But mostly she can be herself.
She kept saying, you know, people kept saying, Viola, be you be that little girl.
Well, and she she managed her anger.
She used it.
I think, to move on.
And, you know, the interesting thing was she went to Juilliard, too.
Yeah.
And they she didn't like the fact they wanted her to play European.
Yes.
Eurocentric.
Yes.
Characters, yes.
Yes.
And everything was Eurocentric.
And in fact, weren't they even forbidden to do other kinds of work?
Well, except that on Martin Luther King's birthday.
Oh, yeah.
African-American kids who went to Juilliard.
Yeah.
Get together and do.
Yes, they did it themselves.
They did what they wanted to do.
They did want to do Strindberg and Shakespeare because they didn't relate to anything.
But, you know, and a lot of people, not just black people, but children, people who are poor and working class, people who are brilliant and talented, they go to a lot of these schools like Juilliard and they try to make them be something they aren't.
Yes.
And I think the lesson from Viola Davis is your brilliance is who you are.
And you don't have to be someone different.
And you are still brilliant.
Yes.
And also, don't forget another in her life.
Remember when she and her sister were taking those lessons?
They began to play and they had no way they were an upward bound.
Yes.
And she got her and the coordinator sit and turned to her and said, you're beautiful.
I thought you knew that no one had ever told her before that she was beautiful.
So that was the first time.
Well, it must have been a real revelation to her and self her self-worth and just, you know, increased and, you know, so she's she's slowly developed this career.
She is discovered, quote, discovered after working and working.
Yes.
And now she is hailed as one of the best actresses in the world.
In the world.
Yes.
Yes.
And I was amazed.
And she's and she is beautiful.
Yes.
She's recognized for being beautiful and for being black and for being dark.
And we don't want to forget that.
She was also called black and ugly by black people.
That's called colourism.
Why do people do that to each other?
It's just it's just.
We we're all only exposed to a certain look.
And if you only see that certain look, then you think that that's what's beautiful.
Yes, we all do it.
And you then you hear things, stories from the family and other.
Yes, things.
Well, you know, some children and some people suffer generations of trauma.
And it goes from family to family.
My daughter is a lawyer and she said, I see the children and grandchildren, oh, you have criminals that I first started helping.
Yes, when I started my career.
Yeah.
And generational poverty.
How do you break that and how can our country work with that and break that?
It's well, that's that is the role of government.
You know the but for my for Upward Bound, we would not we may not have a Viola Davis.
That's right.
But for the scholarship to Juilliard.
Yes, but for the scholarship that let her go to Africa.
But for.
Julius.
Julius, her friend's husband, her lover.
Her lover.
Her.
So for a safety.
And safety and.
His baseball bat.
And that was to protect her.
But he never had that.
He never had to.
He was worried about her coming back to their condo.
It Yeah.
Yeah.
And he was ready to protect her.
She has a strong voice and I keep thinking, maybe I've already said this, but you can go to YouTube and see her interview.
Yes, you can.
With Oprah Winfrey.
Yeah.
And you can hear the string.
You can hit the survival in the depth and strength of her voice when she speaks.
Oh, yes, it's almost like a Toni Morrison kind of.
Voice, you know.
And I have heard she also talks about having a deep voice.
She's always had a deep voice.
Well, she does.
If you listen.
But that was not seen as a plus when she was growing up.
Well, and you know, things have changed, but not enough yet.
Just not enough yet.
Do you know do you mind if I say.
I think that I think that Viola Davis would want us to mention the role of faith in her life.
Yes.
And and faith.
Not another particular denomination.
Mm hmm.
Just faith.
And I think we should encourage people to have find something for yourself that you can have quiet, peaceful times with and contemplate life.
Yes.
Yes.
Another great philosopher said that you have to find your bliss so that this makes you happy.
And she did with acting.
And I'm you know, and I was reading something, too, she said, you know, I've been lucky to I've been at the right place, at the right time.
Yes.
I've worked with good people.
You said a lot of this is chance and luck.
And she said, I realize that it's not because I'm a great actress.
That's right.
All chance.
And luck.
And isn't that a message to all of us?
If Viola Davis can make it, we can all.
Well, I don't know.
She's she's she's absolutely stupendous.
She's just this movie.
She's in there.
So.
Well, they're so full of human nature.
All kinds of human nature.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And don't forget, she was also on the stage.
Oh, that's right.
Television, movies and stage.
Well, she's just she's a you don't.
Have to limit yourself.
Well, you know what she did?
She took this horrible background and she used it to build her strength and to be sure of herself.
I mean, I think it's still there.
I think it's in her life.
And I bet she has dark days.
Yes.
But she can fight.
She keeps struggling.
Yeah, I don't want to say struggling, but she keeps working at it.
I'm going to see work at this beautiful.
Well, we've we've got to have some eggs, you know, for this party.
So what do you what else do you want to say about Viola?
I know you've got a lot of ideas about.
Well.
You know, I just I love I love the way she never gave up all the people, all the places, all the adversity in her life.
There was always something in her that she made up and she made a decision, I'm going to get out of this.
Well, she took advantage of everything when it came.
That's right.
That's right.
And she was smart.
She was smart.
Smart.
Yes.
Yes.
And sometimes you have to work very hard at chipping away at people who have been who have been harmed, who have been hurt to find that this thing the message is been I'm worth well.
She also had had health problems.
She had uterine fibroids.
She had alopecia.
Her hair came out, you know, she had some health things that she dealt with.
And again, like a lot of people today, she didn't have insurance always.
So she couldn't take care of things until, you know, until it came along.
You know, we just have a minute here.
So I'm all to do, you know, I'm going.
Yes, I'm going to just take.
This take that and she'll bring the crowd over to this.
I'll do it.
I'll just and I can turn the heat off.
Yes, you can.
Thank you.
Doesn't this look good?
And we need to give you a dish to put this in.
Right?
Or do you want to do it right on in the pot?
Well, I'll do it right in the pot.
I think.
It's colorful.
It is a beauty.
If we.
Don't, we won't lose a single.
Morsel.
Morsel or spice or herb.
And I'll take this out here.
So we have a meal for Viola?
Yes.
And Julius.
And Julius, we have a party for them.
Yes.
And I think he was a very good support for her.
He was he was amazing.
And, you know, keep trying.
Keep going.
Yes.
Never give up.
She just she's an amazing and I say to this this book, read it.
Pass it.
On.
Yes.
And yeah, that's it.
Read it and pass it on.
That's exactly because that reading is actually a.
Form of art.
Yes.
A form of peace, a form of reflection.
And it gives us hope.
All right.
Thank you for those.
Good answers to you for having me back.
Well, thank you for suggesting.
And Viola Davis.
Is she?
She's only what is she, 60.
Oh, if.
Yeah.
She's got so she's more.
She's going to show much.
More of she is talent.
To us and remember we want to thank you for joining us as well as thanking Charlotte thank you.
So much.
And remember good food looks good good friends, good books make for an excellent and very good life.
Yes.
We'll see you next time.
See you.
this WNIT local production has been made possible in part by viewers like you.
Thank you.
Dinner and A Book is supported by the Rex and Alice, A. Martin Foundation of Elkhart, celebrating the spirit of Alice Martin and her love of good food and good friends.
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