coming up next on being well my guests are from senior care a service of Paris Community Hospital Family Medical Center now there are many challenges associated with growing older that can result in things like depression anxiety and other conditions we'll talk about some ways to cope and treatment options available next on being well you ladies thanks so much for coming to Charleston today to talk to us about senior care let's talk a little bit about the aging population here in east central Illinois and how that sort of inspired senior care I think it was maybe three four or five years ago they started a survey within the community with some of the community leaders what Paris needs what are we lacking here what are our problems and our elderly were identified as not having resources available to them as they go through the challenges of getting older so that was kind of taken in in seriously with a lot of thought and they came up with this concept of having an outpatient service not daycare we don't play puzzles and do things like that I mean it is actually therapy for for folks getting older and it's anywhere from two days a week to three days a week and it takes the folks in to be with us where they can share their problems and their challenges with other people that understand them being the other patients so it's it's been going on and then we started up this is our third year has been wonderfully wonderful it's been highly accepted yes let's talk about some of those life challenges that come up because it's more than just getting older and aches and pains there's a transition period that people go through probably once they retire can you talk about how that presents some challenges well I think we forget that when we retire we think of oh it's going to be wonderful and all these people get to go out and do everything they want to all the time and it's it's a whole new life and things go PPG keen and it's a shock it really is a shock I mean you've heard of a lot of people passing away not soon after they you know soon after they retire because you completely change the way people look at you and in our culture we don't necessarily respect or value being elderly so all of a sudden you're not listening to any more you're not looked at anymore in the same way I had a lady the other day saying you know I find when I talk to older people they come in when I give them my contact they really perk up you do because all of a sudden you feel like whoa here I've been this person who's been look that looked up to and all of a sudden you know I to be able to tell everybody what to do and all of a sudden people are telling me what to do I'm going to the doctor with my daughter and all of a sudden the doctors talking to her and not to me it's and and then you've got your mobility problems you because you are starting to get older and golly you can't run like you used to you can't walk like you used to just a lot of things going on can you add to that what would be some of the because we're talking more about emotional issues like depression anxiety excessive worry that sort of stuff what are some of the symptoms of that so if someone's watching and they're thinking well maybe what I'm feeling is not it's beyond you know normal worry or normal just feeling a little bit blue a lot of elderly won't say that the say they're sad what we look for is sometimes the lack of motivation fatigue low energy irritability is a big one they persistently worry about things whether it's their health or even the state of the world I hear lots of times about the economy they are really worried about it anxiety if they don't you know they had outside activities and also and they've lost interest in them they're not getting out they don't want to leave their home and it's you know comes on quite suddenly yeah it's a real concern for family members it's just not being being sad or crying it's more than that sometimes we'll see you up a pace they'll ring their hands again just that excessive worry are there other medical conditions or medications that can make depression and anxiety even worse i would say primarily the ones that we see are folks that are diabetic you know with depression or anxiety or tension or illness there heads and their whole body reacts differently hypertension heart problems we've had some Parkinson's disease Huntington's disease arthritis but all those medications act differently on each person and in the elderly when they're prescribed the doctor has to look very closely at an elderly person metabolizes a lot of these medications differently than you or I would so they work together like I said sometimes you don't know did the illness come first and then the medication or is the medication you know what's causing the illness so your daughter doctors have to be on the same page and they often have so many doctors watching them you know it but they need one primary doctor to overlook all the medications because medications can interact in really bad ways so you really need one doctor to be in charge of everything well let's talk a little bit about your program because I think people would maybe make the assumption that this generation is not one to sit around in a circle and talk about their problems but the talk therapy is a big part of what you do so how do you get this group to open up when I started I thought why this is going to be fun and we found that they are remarkably verbal I mean they can't get them to stop and they're very intelligent and all you have to do is just listen and it's amazing what you will hear just amazing what you were here and they help each other they're so giving up it's really neat way they were taught they were taught to think and and they do it's I find it it's fun we had one patient who came in absolutely declaring that he would not talk in group would not do it and I think our biggest problem with him was getting him to be quiet so other people could talk and the life of delight so it's it's not a problem you'd think it would be it's not well give us a sense of how the program works and and what what sort of things that you do with see your care I i would say when they first come in the first person they usually sees the receptionist as they're signing in and then a nurse we have a nurse there the whole time there's any patient in in our office there has to be a registered nurse usually do their vital signs how are you doing how you sleepin how you eating that's what nurses her are concerned about the big the big question is when was your last bowel movement that has gotten to be where they just come whisper to you what it is because I know you're going to ask and then they go get their coffee their tea whatever in the kitchen we have a kitchenette and they help themselves you know there's fresh fruit with cinnamon rolls and they go wait in a group room until they're depending on their numbers whether they're divided up for one group room or two group rooms so then these two ladies come in and they separate their groups and they start right there they've already how are you they've all checked on each other they become very close we've had patients that after they leave form something like a lunch bunch and meet every week because they check on each other they have it they independently give each other their telephone numbers so they check on each other they become friends and that's really good at this age because they're losing all other friends right and they're losing spouses and so it's important to have a network of friends and they're doing it and then we go into group and they call it class yes class they call it class because in there we give them information to help them help themselves we work on a base our strengths perspective we look at their strengths not what they can't do but what they can do and they can do a lot these people are incredible I would recommend if I was a college professor to salt them in my class because they asked they asked wonderful questions they think all the time and they have a neat perspective don't get them started on politics or something because you're going to have a real interesting time but they're they're delightful and they can they help each other mm-hmm and it's a real supportive environment really I feel it's safe for them supportive they learn how each of them cope and they learn from each other and they find out they have similar problems and oh how did you handle that and it really works well a lot of the things that we do talk about are really life-changing things that they're going through and they could be really depressing and bring up tears and stuff but Connie and Lisa both have a way of using humor and you can take some really devastating issues and make them a little bit light and you're still getting to the issue but they don't all come out crying and feeling badly so it's been it's been awesome for me to watch how it's the social workers work because I've always been a psychiatric nurse and they do so much that I've learned from them and like we and it's it's a luxury for us to have a nurse they have medical personnel right there because with this age yes a lot of problems and we don't know the first thing you want to check out with somebody if you see somebody's acting withdrawing that gun thing as you go to medical doctor first right you rule out medical and that's when way we can also tell if they're getting better because if they're sleeping better if they're eating better those types of things that's part of the ways that we check to make sure our patients are getting better it's if we have goals the patients and therapists and the nurses sit down and we'd have goals from out what they want to do to get better and it's lonely to stay in contact with their doctors right off the bat we get a release it says that they're medically stable enough to be in this program and then if the doctor wants a weekly update on their clients that I get those off to them all we also we also check make sure they're cognitively intact we these people do not have raging dementia or something like that they don't so and you need to know that kind of thing because a lot of pic a lot of people say my mother's got two men sure my father's got dementia and what they have is depression many of the symptoms are very similar talk about what those are some of those similar well isolate themselves be confusion and I've got a lot of patients say you know I think I've got all Famers and that is that is probably one of the most terrifying diseases about a person if you would think the big thing on their mind would be deaf that it's they don't want to lose control they don't want to be someplace where they don't you know where they're being taken care of that scares them to death right and so they start thinking those things difficulty remembering like they're there in this fog and yeah it's not always dementia and love it is the depression and if you're not sleeping right you're not eating right your money's just not functioning right and then your brain just doesn't always want and we're exactly i mean think about how we are if we didn't get a good night's sleep and you come to work the next day and you just can't you don't quite function exact right way exactly i only wait I think we think the older people that just old age it's not that confusion is not normal well and when you had said earlier you know irritability you know you think oh my grandma was always so crabby you know perhaps that was the sign of depression it's not just like you know just because you get old doesn't mean you're irritable of the time it doesn't and and we give way to much credence to oh that's just being older they're having a senior moment yeah I think we need to check that out we discussed that with the families to you know get the son and daughter involved family often family therapy is required because sometimes the son and daughter may be part of the problem okay and they're telling mom and dad what to do it's time to to get rid of dads things now he's been gone for three or four years it's time to look for a smaller place and they feel like they can't make decisions anymore my children are doing this for me and that's depressing in itself so we get on the same page with all them and talk to them and we empower them to speak up for them spec themselves and talk to their son or daughter like how they're feeling because a lot of times I said passively back they don't know what to do is a big joke in group that the children think that they're now the parents really and the love their pit their children they they recognize that their children love them but they seem token it irritates the out of my kind of like when your when your mom and dad were telling you what to do and so it's just exactly the same dynamic it's just right reversed and they can have a sense of humor about it we laugh really hard in group to the point we have in nursing the nurses in the next building or over okay you thought you guys were depressing you've all we hear over there's laughter and you know you can look at in one of two ways it is funny some of the things that happened to us are funny mm-hmm like oh my gosh did you ever believe you're gonna go someplace and they were gonna ask you about your bow stupid you know i mean it's funny I mean and so it is life life can be funny mm-hmm um there I just think we've got the great greatest group of people in the world where where there are patients how do you get people passed and sometimes there's a stigma with depression or oh I'm mentally ill that that's just shameful and I don't want to talk about now I don't want anybody to know how do you get people past that you know it's okay well we have a rule what what you say in here stays in here hmm and that's their very very firm on that and they know that they become they trust us and being off campus being off campus is a wonderful thing we happen to be in a mall with some other funds places and so I mean you could be you could be going to the pizza place you don't have to be going to two senior kid right and quite frankly I don't think it was much of a stigma because now when we go out places and we're talking about our program will have somebody in the audience they used to be and they'll stand right up and say yeah I was there and guess what it's really finer it's really great and I learned so much I know you have dined with the docs here too and there's been several occasions where I've been speaking about our program and I'll have one of our past patients there which I can't recognize you know but they can they can well could I say something and they come right up and talk with me I mean they're they're not shy I'm not shy at all and they talk about practical yes then the younger people maybe I think they're pretty honest there they know what's important and it's no don't sweat the small stuff anymore and they're really out there there there a untapped source of delight I think we need to rethink the way we look at older people on our culture and I think part of it too what I notice is that not only reminiscing but I give them the respect and dignity I listen and they're not getting that anymore and it's just just those key things they don't come up you know will be we all eat lunch together i might say we all sit together and eat lunch together which is a big socialization time for them and for us because we can see them in a different you know area of their life but they they talk to us and want to know what our families are doing and how they're doing what with the lunches what else do you think that comes out of that they I found lunches to be therapeutic I don't care you're too or if you're 82 it's just a time when you sit down and relax and breaking bread together has always meant something and it does and does its it's very relaxing I the first time I notices when I was working with two year olds and and literally when you they eat with you they tell you their problems sometimes you're more relax in that state and you can you can say things that you wouldn't say in group you haven't said in group like you know this is happening to me and this scares me and it comes out during lunch great they do focus on how polite that's come up before you like Lisa said you know we we feel respected here you look at us please and thank you is there anything I do a lot of touch I mean these folks they elderly don't get touched when you think about it and we have to find those things out when they're first there we did have a very angry man that started with us one time and right off the bat I a nurse will always say is it okay if i touch you and it's he right away no no and it only took a week probably before you could pat him on the back or something before he left there were hugs I mean he was different years hugs and tears right we have an alumni group that meets every month yeah we do well like we had I was pancake day that national day we had a case and he will you tell everybody he's this is the best thing that ever happened to us and he and he'll say I really care about you guys when he leaves and that's nice because he was a turkey come on you know and he's delightful just alike let's talk about how we is you know a population who maybe have aging parents how we is you know kids you know children can help our parents you know like you said we're you know sometimes we do things as children to our parents like you know sort of take over and that doesn't always work so well what could we do is as children of aging parents to help them I think we need to show them respect I think we need to give them you know ask them what do you want to do instead of saying I think it's time to do this ask them what they want to do because they really they really do know and and they know when it's time to leave their own home they know now sometimes you have to give them a little bit ease them into it that listen to them give them give them the same respect you've always given them or maybe more than you always given the right and realize their people and realize that they're they're fun they might maybe get to know them mm-hmm as adults spend more time I think spend more time with them encourage them to keep walking you know whether it's a walk around the house you are a walk around the yard whatever they're capable of keep them moving encourage them to go to the grocery if you're doing the grocery shopping go with me and let's see what you know instead of givin you a list let them participate in that too I'm I'm trying to think I I'm have children around them as much as yes yes small children give them responsibilities um you know think about when you win their children we give them start giving them some responsibilities the older people need them to they need to know they're still needed one thing in this economy that's gonna be good as we're going have a lot of families moving back in together and you know grandma and grandpa can do a lot of things a lot of things my husband who is retired is now watching our two-year-old grandson it's the best thing that happened either one of them I mean it's cute to watch so it's it's a great time I mean this is a man who was very important and all of a sudden he's a babysitter and man is he a good one so what about for individuals out there you know who may be listening to what we're talking about and they're thinking you know that that might be me how do you know if you know maybe you're feeling what you're feeling is beyond just normal aging and when can you as an individual so you know what I think I need some additional help we do have we've had several self-referrals where you don't need a doctor referral or anything you can either just stop by and see us come in and one of us is always available or you can call us and just make that appointment like I said a lot of people do know or they've talked to somebody or in the churches their churches said oh you know what you know there's this new program and sounds like you might be good for that so they can do that themselves just give us a call we can either go to your house and talk to them there or they can come in to see us and we can sometimes that it really isn't anything we can reassure them you know this isn't this isn't where you know where you are yet and sometimes we have one lady that came into one of our open houses and she says thats Sarah and a year later she came back and she says you know I decided I need this and she was she was a great and we give them a try always say this is something at your choice yeah if you want to try it for two weeks and this just isn't for you that's that's fine so what's the average age of the people that you're seeing our oldest one right now it just had a birthday she's 95 and I challenge you to pick out which one is yeah you would not die and our youngest one 70 69 70 yeah probably yeah the medium age is probably enough we have had because it is a Medicare program we can also take Medicare eligible eligible well if they disabled that's what I'm regional or if they're medics Medicare and they're on disability so that drops our age down and we've had several people in their 50s a grandma you know trying to raise grandchildren and just not knowing what to do someone that's medically non-compliant and they fall in that 50 year range and they get in so we have a broad range but it doesn't matter how old you are they just they just put their arms around you and it's like a family yeah when you've got a younger one they all they all maybe maybe that person that's really nice I mean and they do need to be baby just a little bit especially of your grandmother raising grandchildren um yeah and a lot of times these people feel hopeless or helpless helpless is a big word that they they feel like using it's just they just feel like they can't quite do it anymore and it's really frustrating them and they don't want to be a burden to the family and sometimes our referrals are from the family members and they'll come in and we'll just kind of okay let's have a little chat or discussion tour and so see what you think yeah I mean we always listen to them and when we have it and when they talk to the doctor we say tell them how you the medicines making you feel you can only one that can do that because a lot of them don't like to take medications they do not have to be on medications to be on our in our program okay one question I yeah they do not have to be and if they are on them will say you try this it takes a while to get into your system and you tell us how you feel you don't want to take it will help you get off of it right away they don't want to be addicted anything mm-hmm okay and so we listen to them and I and that's really nice you know refreshing to them because sometimes they just doctor says or a person says just here as a pale take it yeah and we don't do that so there are people that are on medication and some that just come for doc therapy and will do just as well yes do you want to share we've just got a few minutes left just a nice little happy success story of one of your patients you had to be really careful we have to be careful because a lot of people could know who we're trying to talk about like I said we've had one gentleman that was just felt he was a terrible man he didn't feel he was ever a good father he'd been a businessman all his life and made remarkable decisions very intelligent wife was now going downhill with Alzheimer's and he had kids one on the east coast and one on the west coast so they weren't there but he would not move but on the east coast found us on the computer computer and got him into the program he's 0 and now he comes I mean he's just wonderful now he comes to visit us he comes all of our alumni things if we happen to be in the vicinity we call him and he's he's one that we thought was going to be really hard and he's a super super man he's delightful and and the one thing that he did because he figured himself out because we can't they can is that he talked to both of his children they have a much better relationship now and he says this program changed me just made my whole life better and that's wonderful that makes you feel any illegal he's softer and now fosters he's fun and fostering puppies and kittens yeah he never would he'd have done that before that's great just and he goes out and helps everybody and that's that's great oh I think almost all our patients go out are more they're like missionaries they go out and they find more people another great well wonderful we are out of time I want to thank you ladies for coming on and sharing your story with us and the great things that you guys are doing and hopefully information you've provided will help help some other people out there thank you know we hope it'll help other people to look at older people just a little bit different ways drew thank you and thanks you