

Episode 2
Season 2 Episode 2 | 45m 43sVideo has Closed Captions
A woman desperate for a second chance and a sister searching for her brother.
The story of a woman desperate for a second chance with the baby she gave up for adoption nearly fifty years ago and a sister searching for her brother who mysteriously disappeared forty years ago.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback

Episode 2
Season 2 Episode 2 | 45m 43sVideo has Closed Captions
The story of a woman desperate for a second chance with the baby she gave up for adoption nearly fifty years ago and a sister searching for her brother who mysteriously disappeared forty years ago.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
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Learn Moreabout PBS online sponsorship[Davina] For thousands of people across Britain, someone is missing from their lives.
[woman] Forty years has gone by.
I'm hoping somewhere he's thinking of us.
[man] An unwanted baby that was thrown away.
You think that all the way through your life, this is why you're adopted.
[woman] Why did he not come back?
Even if he doesn't want to know me, I need to know why.
[Davina] All too often, the years of searching lead nowhere.
Well, this is the series that steps in to help, offering a last chance to people desperate to find long lost family.
Have you found him!?
Oh!
Oh, Mum, that's amazing!
-He lives in Cape Town.
-No way.
So we both ended up in South Africa.
We've been looking for so many years.
Don't cry, baby.
Our searches have uncovered family secrets and taken us all over the world, finding people that no one else has been able to trace.
The most important thing for her is to know that she hasn't been forgotten.
I look in the mirror and I was like, who are you?
And now I can see.
[Davina] And finally, answering questions that have haunted entire lives.
I've found her and I'm just so, so, so happy!
[Davina] This week, two stories that began over 40 years ago.
A woman searching for the daughter she gave away.
[woman] If you do ever find her, tell her how much I loved her and I so didn't want to part with her.
And the hunt for a brother who mysteriously walked out on his family, never to be seen again.
[woman] Nobody ever mentioned him, spoke about the secret.
I mean, to me, it was just, "Okay, he's gone."
[dramatic music playing] Our first story begins 6,000 miles away in Cape Town, South Africa.
[rhythmic music playing] Former businesswoman Brenda Rhensius retired to South Africa seven years ago.
But despite having a highly successful career, even becoming the first female director of a bank, it's the decision she made as a teenager that has cast a shadow over her entire life.
[Brenda] I've spent many, many years crying at these photographs.
Brenda last saw her daughter Joanne on the day she gave her up for adoption as a six-week-old baby.
All these I keep in what I call a precious box.
[laughs] Which I visit on her birthday.
Brenda grew up in the north of England in the 1950s, a world away from the life she now knows.
It's 20 years since she's been back to her hometown, Warrington.
This is the house I was born in.
My mother worked at the factory on the corner here.
My father worked in a chemical factory along the road there.
They were upright, hardworking people.
They were very strict.
Brenda's upbringing was in sharp contrast to the changing attitudes of her generation.
I actually was the prude of the group.
I didn't sleep around, I didn't do drugs.
I didn't do what everyone else was doing.
I really was totally nalïve.
It was the third time I had sex that I actually got pregnant with Joanne.
Brenda was just 19 and still living at home with her parents.
My mother, she ranted and raved.
I was a disgrace to the family.
I'd let the whole side down and all the rest of it.
What I didn't expect was the way my father looked at me.
Like he was so disappointed.
And my parents really didn't want evidence of my disgrace around the family.
Shunned by her parents, Brenda had no choice but to go to Lorna Lodge, a mother and baby home in Manchester.
She was only three months' pregnant at the time.
They put me on a bus with a suitcase and I arrived.
It was like a prison, really.
At a time when illegitimacy carried huge stigma, unmarried pregnant women were sent to homes like this to give birth in secrecy.
This home where Brenda stayed finally closed down as a unit for young mothers in 2007.
The building is now being converted into flats.
This is the first time Brenda's been back to where she gave birth to her daughter.
[children shouting, laughing] That side of the building was where the pregnant girls were.
And this side was where you gave birth.
You gave birth in that room there.
It's quite hard, actually.
Back in 1963 after a five-month stay, Brenda gave birth to her daughter, Joanne.
I'd never ever... felt like that about anything or anyone, and I didn't ever want to put her down.
Silly things like... like counting her fingers and her toes.
[laughs] Aw, she was gorgeous.
I mean, every mother says that about...
But she was.
Brenda cared for Joanne for six weeks, but she always knew the reality of the situation.
Without her parents' help, she had no way of financially supporting herself and her daughter.
And when you come here, you're told only selfish people keep their babies.
I dressed her in a pretty dress... [sobbing] Took me about an hour to dress... and... and my father picked us up and took us to some place in the middle of Manchester.
I went into a room with her.
This woman came in and took her and said, "You can go now."
And that was it.
If you do ever find her, tell her how much I loved her, and I so didn't want to part with her.
And I so did what I thought was right at the time.
And I just pray, pray to God, that it was right.
[peaceful music playing] Soon after Joanne was adopted, Brenda left home to start a new life.
Over the following decades, she became a mother again and worked her way up from the typing pool to the board room.
But despite turning her life around, Brenda has never recovered from the loss of Joanne.
It made me tough.
You know, it made me into a fighter really.
But it also made me into some kind of an emotion-- It stunted any emotions that I might have, still to this day.
Over the years, Brenda has tried to find Joanne, but without knowing her new identity, she got nowhere.
She wasn't even sure Joanne would want to be found.
It's entirely possible that she's thinking, "Well, she didn't want to know me.
She gave me away."
These days every child is told how much the mother wanted to keep them.
But I don't think it was so in those days.
I just need to put that straight.
[Nicky] When Joanne was adopted, she would have taken the surname of her new parents, and like all adoptions back then, it would have been kept confidential.
It's only recently that by working through a specialist intermediary, it's become possible to trace adopted children.
The information uncovered from Joanne's adoption papers showed that she'd been adopted by a couple from the Manchester area called Preece.
But a search through the public records for a Joanne Preece with the right date of birth produced nothing.
The only thing to go on was the Manchester link, so we searched social network sites, looking for a Joanne Preece who had gone to school in the right area.
Astonishingly, we eventually found her living 6,000 miles away from where she was born, in South Africa, the same country as Brenda.
Joanne agreed to meet me to find out more about her birth mother.
She left the UK 18 years ago and now lives in Durban.
Married with no children, Joanne teaches at a local high school.
She still has no idea that incredibly her mother is also in South Africa.
I wonder how she's feeling right now.
I wonder if she ever thought that her birth mother would trace her.
Maybe in her heart of hearts, she expected it might happen one day.
-Hello, you.
-[dog barking] Ooh.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
-Hello.
-Hello.
[dogs barking] -Shhh, very obedient.
-[barking continues] -Nicky.
-Hi, Joanne.
Really nice to meet you.
What a beautiful day!
It's gorgeous, isn't it?
Lovely, did you bring it with you?
No.
[chuckles] -Lovely dogs.
-Yeah, noisy!
[Nicky] How much of a surprise was all this then?
[Joanne] Um, I know it was a huge, huge surprise, because I thought, you know, that by now I didn't think for a minute that she'd want to look for me.
It's something I would have expected maybe when I was younger.
-She's looked for you for a long time.
-Has she?
She's had knock-backs, she's come up against brick walls.
All she wanted to know really is that you were happy.
And if she knows you are happy, that means everything to her.
I have no, uh... no bad feelings at all towards her, none whatsoever.
I really genuinely don't.
Because I wasn't in a terrible environment.
You know, I was in a really loving home, which was one of the reasons I never actually pushed.
You know, "I've got to find my birth mother," I never ever said that.
And you would think after all these years, you'd think, well, obviously if she really wanted to get hold of me, you'd think it would have happened sooner if she had.
-You're her baby.
-Yeah, I know.
She was with you for six weeks.
It broke her heart.
I didn't know that, I just thought that I'd been born and pushed under the carpet.
And maybe then she remarried as she got older sort of thing and didn't even tell anybody.
I didn't know that we'd been together for six weeks.
How awful that must have been for her.
You've never ever, right... because you don't have children.
So you've never ever seen anyone to whom you are genetically related to.
Never ever, I've never known anybody that I'm a blood relative of, not at all.
[Nicky] Yeah, that's your birth mum.
Wow!
Okay.
Oh, my goodness.
[gasps] She looks happy.
She lives in Cape Town.
You are kidding me?
You are joking.
No way.
So we both ended up in South Africa.
That's just so funny.
Isn't it bizarre?
These things happen for a reason, I tell you.
It's like magnets.
Just suddenly we've ended up in the same place.
-So you want to meet her?
-I definitely want to meet her.
Oh, yes.
Definitely, of course.
I've wanted to meet her always, but I never really envisaged the day.
I wonder how she'll react.
[Nicky] She will be just so incredibly happy.
[peaceful music playing] [Davina] Before we tell Brenda that we've found her daughter, our second story starts in the North East, with a woman who's spent the last 40 years trying to solve the mystery of what happened to her brother who just disappeared from her life when she was 14 years old.
[man calling numbers] 5-0-50... For 55-year-old Maureen Clancey, the mystery of what happened to her older brother Michael over 40 years ago has plagued her life.
[Maureen] Nobody ever mentioned him, spoke about him, spoke about the secret.
I mean, to me it was just, "Okay, he's gone."
There's a letter for you from Santa!
-Yeah, because I sent my Christmas letter.
-Well, you know you got this.
Now a grandmother, Maureen was born in 1957.
She grew up in Stockton-on-Tees.
It was good days, yeah.
We really grew up close.
Me dad was very quiet, passive man.
But me mum was the one that laid the law down.
You done as she said or you got the consequences for it.
Maureen had three brothers: Graham, Sean an d her eldest brother Michael.
Michael was always my hero.
He was always there for me.
If ever I was upset, it was Michael that sorted me out.
I adored him, I looked up to him.
Maureen's most precious memory of her brother happened when she was ten years old.
[Maureen] I really wanted to learn how to ice skate.
So, Michael decided he would bring me.
I was dumbfounded at first just looking at the ice, and he said, "There's nothing to be scared about.
I'm not going to let anybody hurt you, I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
He led me on to the ice and he said, "Just gently, one foot at a time, and you'll do it," and eventually I was skating round.
But in 1971, everything changed, when Maureen, who was 14 years old at the time, returned home from school one day.
I heard my mum shouting and screaming like she used to.
When I walk in, Michael's coat's gone.
So, I walked straight down the passage into the kitchen where my mum was and said, "Where's Michael?"
And she just went, "He's gone."
I said, "All right, so he's gone back to work then?"
She went, "No, he's gone."
"He's not coming back, and you are not to mention his name again."
It wouldn't be until nearly 40 years later, with the death of her mother, that Maureen finally learned the truth about Michael's disappearance.
[Davina] Over 40 years ago, 21-year-old Michael Arthur suddenly disappeared from the family home after a row with his parents.
His younger sister Maureen has been trying to find out what happened to him ever since.
I thought he'd stolen something or he'd been in trouble with the police, and I said to me mum, "He's committed murder, hasn't he?
He's killed somebody," and she went, "Don't be silly."
So I said, "Where's he gone?"
I said, "If he hasn't committed murder and he hasn't committed a theft of anything, where's he gone?"
"He's just gone."
End of story, he's just gone.
This is the house where Maureen grew up and where she last saw Michael.
First of all, it was like his name wasn't allowed to be mentioned, and then slowly photos started to go, little things that he had bought my mum.
She was, like, erasing him from her memory.
I think she was hoping that over the years, I would just forget that I ever ever had an elder brother.
But I never ever did.
It was like a part of me had died when they threw him out of the house.
It was only with her mum's death five years ago that Maureen finally found out the truth about what had happened to Michael.
We were sat discussing the funeral.
I said to Graham that by rights, I said, it should be Michael that's here.
At the end of the day, he's the eldest.
He said, "Well, he's not here."
I says, "I'm not stupid, I know he's not here, but I'd love to know why he's not here."
And he just turned, Graham just turned to me and he went, "He's gay."
I was so mad, I said, "You mean to say that 40 years my brother's been living a separate life from us?
He's gay?
So what?
That is a pathetic excuse to disown anybody."
If I had been older and I'd have known what was going on, I'd have stood by him.
He must have really felt shunned and not wanted.
He was 21 years old and he must have, like, he must have been devastated.
The only clue she's had to Michael's whereabouts is a card sent to the family from Bermuda in 1981.
Since then, she's done everything she can to find her brother, even contacting Interpol.
I'm hoping somewhere in this world he's thinking of us, he's thinking of me.
I'm just praying that he hasn't forgotten that he has got a sister.
Because I never ever forgot about him.
Finding Michael was always going to be incredibly hard.
He'd been literally banished by his family almost 40 years ago and told to never darken their door again.
Tragically, stories like that are not uncommon.
[narrator] For many of us this is revolting, men dancing with men.
[Nicky] When Michael became a young man in the late '60s, being gay carried a huge social stigma.
[narrator] This woman married a homosexual.
Twice during their marriage he was arrested for importuning.
The second time he killed himself rather than face the punishment of the court and the disgust of his friends.
Shamed and all alone, it's hardly surprising that Michael left his family no clues to his whereabouts, except for a card sent 30 years ago.
All we had to go on was his name and his date of birth.
[contemplative music playing] We had to hope that that was enough.
But a search for Michael Arthur on the electoral roll brought up nearly 200 possibilities.
So we focused on London, Manchester and Brighton, areas with well established gay communities.
Eventually, the trail led here to Brighton, where we found a Michael Arthur of the right age.
We contacted him and he confirmed he was Maureen's brother.
He's agreed to speak to me at his home.
So, Maureen has been without her big brother for 40 years.
The thing is, I wonder if Michael has felt the same yearning.
I wonder what he's been thinking about her and about his brothers.
To be just... thrown out of your family like that, all contact stopped, is so brutal, isn't it?
It's almost unimaginable.
What I'm wondering is how he has psychologically coped with that over the years.
Maybe he's just turned his back on his past.
Michael told us that he's worked as a chef all his life.
Okay, thanks very much.
His career took him all over the world, including a long stint at a five-star restaurant in Bermuda.
He retired last year.
-[intercom beeps] -[Michael] Hello?
-Hello, Michael?
-Hello.
-Hello, it's Nicky here.
-Hi.
Can I come up?
Great.
-Michael.
-Hello there.
-Nicky Campbell.
-Hi, how are you?
-A real pleasure to meet you.
-Welcome to my flat.
-Thank you very much.
-Please come in.
Nice, I bet you've got a good view here.
When you heard that Maureen had got in touch?
I was over the moon.
It absolutely just threw me, after all this time, and I was so pleased, because I have done things earlier this year, check with me family tree, with the thought of trying to find them.
But I have put it off for so many years.
Thinking that they didn't want to know.
So you feared rejection, you thought they just weren't going to be interested?
Do you remember the circumstances of the last time that she saw you at all?
I can't really remember.
She was 14, and she came home and she was told to leave the room.
She was told to go away and play.
And she didn't understand it, and when she got back, you had gone.
-And your name was never to be mentioned again.
-Yeah.
It must have been the day that I went home to tell them that I was gay.
That must have been the day Maureen's talking about.
Because things changed from that day.
It wasn't so much my father, it was my mother.
I thought it would have been the other way round.
In them days, I thought, "my dad's going to kick up and I'm in for trouble," but it wasn't, it was my mother.
What was it like, you know, in the north of England growing up gay?
It was hard enough without getting pressure from my mother because people were against gays.
But your own mother to behave like that towards you, because of the way you are, because of your nature.
It does hurt.
When you do have a very close family, and all of a sudden you're rejected.
And it's not through any violence or smashing things up for being drunk or anything like that.
It's...
It's the lifestyle which I am living, and I would not have changed my lifestyle.
I am gay and I've always been gay, and I'm not ashamed of it.
Did you ever phone on Christmas Day once you'd left?
-Did you phone on Christmas?
-Mm-hmm.
I used to phone from Bermuda, and the phone would get picked up and the phone would get put down if she answered.
So in the end, I just put the shutters up, so... -Blocked it off, haven't you?
-Mm.
Yeah.
It's the only way I could deal with it.
It's time to unblock it.
This is Maureen now... [Michael] Oh, my goodness.
I would never...
I would never have recognized her, obviously, because she was 14.
-[Nicky] That's your little sister.
-[laughs] She can't wait to see you.
See, in a sense, I guess, Maureen is... collateral damage from the way that your mother felt.
She describes you as her hero.
That's nice.
She remembers you teaching her to skate.
She cherishes that memory.
Goodness.
All those years ago.
[chuckles] And when she found out the reason that you'd become estranged, she was absolutely horrified.
Horrified.
Maureen wrote this letter.
"Dear Michael, this is a difficult letter to write as there is so much I want to say to you.
It's been 40 years since I last seen you.
And not a day's gone by where I haven't thought or wondered about you.
So I can understand how hurt and angry you have felt with Mum and Dad's reaction to you.
I would never have shared their views and what they did was wrong.
The last 40 years have flown by and gone so quickly.
Life's too short to let time slip by anymore.
And I would love for you to meet your nephews and nieces and all my grandchildren.
Hope to hear from you soon, your loving sister."
-You want to see her, you want to meet her?
-Yes, I do want to see her.
It's been put off for too long.
Thank you very much.
[contemplative music playing] [Davina] So I'm off to tell Maureen that we've found her brother, and, you know, she's spent a lifetime waiting for this.
She's spent a lifetime hoping that Michael might just walk back into her life.
So I wonder how she's going to react to the news that he is alive and well in Brighton.
I've arranged to meet Maureen at a hotel close to where she lives.
-Hi.
-Hello.
[laughing] -It's nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
-How are you doing?
-I'm fine, thanks.
Come on, let's go.
Have you ever wondered what your life would have been like with Michael?
My childhood might not have been as hard and as cold.
I just bottled everything up after 14.
So, I mean, there's an awful lot of...
There's anger.
Anger for what my mum and dad did.
I want my brother back in my life.
I want him to meet my family.
[Davina] Well... we found him.
[gasps] Really?
Honest?
Yep?
That is... Oh, God.
Shaking like a leaf now.
Literally shaking like a leaf.
To think that, after all these years, I'm going to finally see him.
-[Davina] Would you like to see a picture?
-Yes, please.
[Davina] Okay.
[gasps] Oh, he's so like our gran now!
Oh, he's put a lot of weight on.
[Davina laughs] Oh, my God, but yeah, I can see, uh, the family resemblance, yeah.
Oh, God!
Oh!
Can I keep it?
[Davina] Of course you can.
Oh!
Oh, me brother!
I can't believe it.
I was just wondering, with us finding Michael, whether this might begin to heal the anger and the resentment you feel towards your parents?
If Michael can forgive Mum and Dad for what they did all those years ago, then, yeah, maybe my own feelings towards them might change.
-So, would you like to meet him?
-Yes, please.
[Davina] Would you like to meet him tomorrow?
[gasps] Oh, really, yes.
I'd love to.
-Yes.
-We'll organize that.
Oh, brilliant.
Oh, I can't wait.
[peaceful music playing] [Davina] That evening, on her return home, Maureen can't wait to tell her daughter Michelle the news.
-Hello.
-Hello.
You made me one?
Count your spoons.
Guess who I met?
Davina.
-Did ya?
-Yeah.
And?
And... would you like to see a picture of your uncle?
Oh, we found him!
Yeah!
Oh, Mum, that's amazing!
Ohh!
[Davina] Forty-eight years ago, 19-year-old Brenda Rhensius gave up her baby Joanne for adoption and has regretted her decision ever since.
After a long search, we finally traced Joanne living in the same country as Brenda.
Driving through Cape Town on a glorious Sunday morning to go and meet Brenda to tell Brenda that her daughter Joanne has been traced.
I'm also going to tell Brenda the amazing news that Joanne also lives in South Africa.
-Brenda.
-Hello.
-Nicky Campbell.
-Very pleased to meet you.
-And you, thank you very much for having me.
-Come on in.
Well, this is lovely.
Adoption searches can be really difficult, uh, because people change names.
But, Brenda, Joanne has been traced.
[gasps] -Really?
-Mm-hmm.
-How is she?
-She's great.
She's a fantastic person.
-Is she?
-Yeah.
She had a really happy adoption.
-Really?
-Yeah.
I'm so pleased!
And, um... let me show you a photograph.
Oh, for goodness' sake.
She's gorgeous.
Oh!
She's... absolutely beautiful.
Where's she living?
Durban.
Durban, South Africa?
No.
No.
[laughing] Does she want to meet me?
-Yeah.
-Does she?
Oh, I don't believe you.
She does?
That is fantastic.
Really, she really, really wants to?
She's not just kind of going along with it?
Well, look, she's written you a letter.
Ohhh.
"Dear Brenda, I have to admit that when I first found out that you were looking for me, I was surprised and I wondered 'why now?'
It had been such a long time, it didn't feel real at first.
I tried briefly to find you by posting a message on a popular..." Whoa.
"But when I heard nothing, I thought that possibly you didn't want to get in touch."
If only she knew.
"I was worried that maybe you had a family that didn't know about me."
She's been scared.
"Please understand that I have no hard feelings towards you.
I understand that you were very young when I was born.
And I might well have done exactly the same thing in your situation.
I was also brought up by very loving adoptive parents."
Yes!
"I'm so looking forward to meeting you... Take care, see you soon.
Love, Joanne."
-It's amazing.
-It's incredible, isn't it?
That is...
It's amazing.
You know, I dreamt last night that I did meet her.
That's what I dreamt.
And that was the first time I'd dreamt that last night.
When I held her, it was like holding a baby again.
You know, that's so kind of... [exhales sharply] It's like my life can begin now.
[upbeat music playing] [Davina] It's the day of Brenda and Joanne's reunion.
Joanne has flown into Cape Town for the big day.
[Joanne] It's a big deal, it is a big deal, and, you know, you obviously want the first meeting to be really good because I think that's something that we'll remember for the rest of our lives.
It's all these gaps that I didn't even think I had.
I never actually thought about it being there until I knew I was going to meet her, and then suddenly it's almost like... filling in all the details now.
-[Brenda] What do you think?
-[son] It's nice.
Actually it's very nice.
Brenda's son Jason is also in town to offer moral support to his mother.
[Brenda] Stay there, don't move.
For my mum, this means absolutely the world.
I mean, this is something...
I've been, although I'm itching to meet my sister, I really am, but for me, it's like I'm really close to my mum and it's something that for, like, 20, 30 years, I've been, like, dreaming about and literally hoping and praying for.
This day is, I can't believe it's come, and it's all happened so quickly.
Oh, thank you, morning.
This is just a miracle for me.
It's very difficult to explain because I'm completely overjoyed.
I'm also very nervous because, I mean, this is like, "Who is this woman that suddenly wants to reappear in my life after all this time?"
And I know that she's thinking kindly, but at the same time, it's a huge intrusion, really.
[peaceful music playing] [Davina] Brenda and Joanne are meeting at Weinberg Park in a Cape Town suburb.
I think I can see her.
Oh!
[laughing] Ooh, you're beautiful.
Can I give you a hug?
-Yes, please, hello.
-Please.
It's lovely to meet you.
It really, really is.
-Oh, you're gorgeous.
-Oh, no, gosh.
You must have a white stick and a guide dog.
This is so bizarre.
I never really thought this was going to happen.
Isn't it amazing?
You know when I handed you over, oh, it was horrible.
Because they just sort of say, "Okay, now, don't look back.
Forget all about this, you know, and go away," that kind of thing, you know.
It was horrible, horrible, horrible.
You must have cried all the way home.
I did.
It was because I loved you so much that I had to let you go.
I've never ever ever felt, "Why did she do that?"
Never once.
-Oh, really?
-I've never ever thought that.
-I presumed you did.
-But for you it must have been awful.
-You had me for six weeks.
-Horrible.
Oh, it was horrible.
-I've got some pictures.
-Have you?
Oh, please.
-Oh, how exciting.
-I mean, they're just photocopies here, but it will give you an idea of... there you go.
[Joanne gasps] -Oh!
Wow!
-[Brenda] That's you.
We talked a lot.
-Oh, my gosh!
-We changed nappies.
[laughing] Oh, my gosh!
-Is that me?
-Yeah.
You're kidding me!
There's another lying down.
That's you.
Oh, my gosh.
[peaceful music playing] [Brenda] I feel as if I'm 20 years old.
All that... All the pain... everything's gone.
At this... you know?
And I'm feeling as if... we're picking up where we left off.
-Oh, wasn't I cute?
-Yeah.
-What happened?
-How could I part with you?
-"What happened"!
Yeah.
-Oh.
Which is very very healing.
[Joanne] I really feel as if I've known her for a long time.
Years and years and years.
I think we'll be really close.
I think we'll be really... Kind of like mother and daughter but never replacing my mum.
We'll just be friends and family and... Yeah, no, definitely now, she's not getting away.
[Davina] Forty years ago, Michael Arthur was disowned by his parents for being gay and told never to come back.
His little sister Maureen was devastated by Michael's disappearance and didn't learn the truth about what happened until her mother died five years ago.
Today she will finally be reunited with the brother she never forgot or stopped loving.
How do you think he's going to greet you today?
I'm hoping he's going to sort of, like, give me the biggest hug I've ever had in my world.
Got so much to catch up on.
It's just mad, like, where do you start, isn't it?
[Maureen] Yeah.
[Maureen speaking indistinctly] [daughter] No, just be yourself.
-Hello.
-Are you ready?
Yeah, I'll just grab my coat and bag.
How are you feeling?
Nervous, anxious.
Apprehensive.
-Okay.
-Come on.
[Davina] Maureen and Michael are meeting in a café on Redcar Beach, where they spent childhood days out.
Nicky is meeting Michael at the local station.
It's the first time Michael has been back in the area in over four decades.
-Welcome home.
-Hello there.
-How are you?
[laughing] -I'm very, very well.
Yeah.
It's quite a long journey from Brighton, isn't it?
It's not been that bad.
[Nicky] So, first time back here for a while.
[Michael] A long while.
It's been over... 42, 43 years, I should imagine.
-Any apprehensions?
-No.
Uh... no.
I do believe in things happen for a reason, and this is happening now.
And I think it's a very good reason it's happening, it's not a negative reason.
I'm not going in there thinking, "Am I doing the right thing?"
I know I'm doing the right thing.
And I'm happy about that.
I'm going to leave you here.
Go meet your sister.
She's gonna meet you there.
Good luck.
Thank you.
Big night's waiting.
[Maureen] It's overwhelming to think that I'm actually going to meet my brother again.
You know, this experience that you had when you were 14 changed you as a person forever.
It did, it changed my attitude to life.
It changed everything.
And do you think that this experience that you're having today could have a similar effect but a positive one?
[Maureen] Yes.
I'm releasing the pent up anger I felt for my mum and just letting it go.
I'm not gonna even think about her any more now.
Uh... my concern now is just getting Michael back into my life.
[Davina] Are you ready?
-I'm ready, yes.
-Let's get out.
[gulls squawking] Thank you.
Thank you for everything.
Everything you've done, it's been amazing.
Oh!
Take care.
-Good luck.
-Thank you.
Thanks a lot.
[contemplative music playing] Come here.
[laughing, crying] Bloody hell!
I've been waiting for this.
If you'd been in my life...
I just want to tell you that I knew nothing.
-I didn't think you did.
-No.
They kept me in the dark right up until Mum died.
We've got to forget about that now, just build the future.
-Yeah.
-That's what I want.
That's what I want as well.
Give me another hug.
[peaceful music playing] [Maureen] I've changed a lot, he's changed a lot, and it's like, "Okay, are we going to have the same feelings that we had when he was 21 and I was 14?"
That was what was going through my mind.
Is he going to look at me and think, "Oh, my God, she's so like Mother"?
"I don't want to know," type of thing, but it wasn't like that.
We just fell into each other's arms and sobbed.
And it's like the 40 years just evaporated.
-This is your niece.
-Right.
I've missed out on a lot of things with Maureen and my brothers and they've also missed out a lot with mine, my life.
And now we can just build on it, on a new relationship.
So, I'm really, really over the moon with this.
[Davina] Next time, a woman looking for the mother who abandoned her when she was a toddler.
I don't know what happened.
But she's my mother, she must have loved me.
It's what mums do.
And the grandfather who, after 20 years of searching for his mother, is running out of time.
[grandfather] I need to know who my mum is.
I need to know her.
And she needs to know me.
[contemplative music playing]
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