[gentle music plays] My name is Gideon Bannister.

[children] Witchfinder!

-I'm not a witch.

-Witch!

-That man was John Stearne?

-[Old Myers] He's dead.

Someone's gonna have to tell the Witchfinder General he's gonna need a new right-hand man.

Shame the trial's done.

I don't think they'd take too kindly to you whisking that witch away.

-I've got a letter.

This one.

-What letter?

It says I need to take the suspect, Thomasine... -Gooch.

-Gooch... to the Court of Assizes where she will be tried.

-What?

-[mob heckling] No!

[Thomasine] Why would a court summon me to Chelmsford?

[Gideon] Why does the court do anything?

Why do they wear big white wigs?

Why do they carry hammers?

You weren't reading that letter.

Well, I mean, I was reading that letter.

You heard me read it.

But your eyes weren't scanning it, they were just fixed on one spot, a bit like when you draw a line in front of a chicken.

Well, then that must be how I read.

We don't all read by chasing the words around the page like we're hosing bird dung off a footpath.

So you weren't helping me?

You still want me convicted?

No, no.

It's not about wanting you convicted.

No one wants you convicted.

They want me convicted.

They want you convicted, sure, 'cause they're the baying mob, but I'm taking you to Chelmsford where a proper court has summonsed you for a proper trial.

This actually benefits you.

Come on.

[Old Myers] Master Gideon.

-I got you something.

-What?

Oh, just... Come on.

See, I was thinking that Mr. Hopkins, you know, Witchfinder General, he doesn't know who you are, so how does he know that you actually met Mr. Stearne?

Well, I've got his little red pouch.

-Why?

What have you got?

-Nothing.

-No?

-No, I didn't get anything.

-You said you had something.

-No, I didn't get anything, Gideon.

Myers, you're covered in blood.

What have you got?

That's his finger!

You cut off a dead man's finger!

Why have you done that?

To identify him.

Could be anyone's bloody finger.

His ring is on it.

It isn't.

Oh, God.

-Myers.

-Oh, it must have slipped off the back end.

You forget that it can do that because normally the hand's in the way.

Myers, back here.

Calm yourself down.

Pull yourself together, Myers.

We're doing the right thing.

You're panicking because there's a body.

By the time anybody finds him, I'll be working for the Witchfinder General.

I just wish he would give me a sign.

When Edith prayed for a sign, a choir of angels came unto her.

Yeah, and doesn't she go on about it.

Well, you would.

Well, she does.

Buzzy!

-Don't let him see her.

-Leaving so soon?

Just riding to Snetterton to get some work.

What about the work you had?

Let me guess, you ballsed it up again?

-Yeah, you know me.

-Ugh.

Witchfinding.

Such a cruel mistress.

Well, quite.

Look, I happen to believe there's a bloody good witchfinder in there.

-That's kind.

-You hide him well.

He just needs coaxing out like you would a tapeworm.

-I don't know.

-Come on, Buzzy, little witchfinding tapeworm.

Out you come.

Oh, I suppose it's like you always say.

Our careers are on vastly different trajectories.

[Hebble groans] Yeah, vastly different.

-You mustn't think like that.

-Mm-hmm.

Especially if you're getting your nosebleeds again.

[chuckles] -[Hebble laughs] -[mutters] Wanker.

[folk music playing] [Gideon] One of these days, I'm gonna own a garden this size.

Just me, nature, and a big fence round the outside.

[Thomasine] So do you enjoy the witchfinding?

A witchfinder is a man of reason, identifying witchery on the basis of evidence, unswayed by interest or sentiment.

Do you get paid the same whatever?

[chuckles] What?

Do you get paid the same whether a woman's a witch or not?

Well, they're hardly gonna pay me to find women who aren't witches, are they?

So if you got a woman and you reckon she isn't a witch, you get no money, but if you reckon she is a witch, you do get money.

Yeah, in essence.

I wonder if that's the best way of doing it.

No, you don't.

You don't wonder.

That is the system.

It is in place because the Witchfinder General himself has done the wondering for us.

If you go round questioning everything the whole time, then nothing ever gets done and life becomes backwards.

Now is that what you want, Gooch?

-Do you want to live in Wales?

-'Cause us lot would be rinsing that.

You know, when I was working for my dad's mate, smelling eggs in, um-- -Smelling eggs?

-In Thetford, smelling eggs, yeah.

We'd only just get paid for the day.

-Hang on, smelling eggs?

-Yeah, to see if they were bad.

But if we got paid for every bad one we smelled, we'd be going, "Oh, this one smells bad and... [sniffs] Oh, this one's bad and, oh, that's bad," rather than just genuinely smelling eggs.

Can you stop saying "smelling eggs"?

It's horrible.

[Thomasine sneezes] Please stop doing that.

I think it's the horse hairs, they're catching in me throat.

Absolute balls, horses don't even have hairs.

If anything they have a kind of downy bristle.

The only noise I want to hear between here and Chelmsford is that of hooves.

And birdsong.

-[splat] -And inevitably a bit of that.

You've had a big meal, haven't you, lad?

[folk music playing] Thank you so much for pointing us in the right direction.

No, always happy to help a Puritan.

What I call a humble worshiper.

No, give me a simple cross over a showy crucifix any day.

-Oh, absolutely.

-[Thomasine sneezes] Do you know what I do when I see a crucifix?

I yank off the Christ.

I've got a bag of Christs at home somewhere.

Yes, well, just keep an eye out for the Cavaliers.

The King's men don't take kindly to Puritans.

I think if God is carving a passage through the Red Sea for Moses, I dare say he'd do a little one for me amongst the Cavaliers.

-[sneezes] Oh, that's a biggun.

-Now, um, Chelmsford.

You just want to go through the village and you cross the river there.

-Right you are.

-It's just a straight line then through to Essex.

-Couldn't be easier.

-That's music to my ears.

But she can't come through, I'm sorry about that.

-Pardon me, she can't...?

-Come through.

Sorry about that.

Yeah, I didn't want to make a scene in front of her.

-[Thomasine sneezes] -All that sneezing.

We already lost two dozen souls to the plague last March.

Oh, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

She does not have the plague.

Well, they said that in March.

I mean, I was at my sister's, but let's just say that a certain someone was a little less discerning about who he let in than perhaps I would have been.

-I just didn't think that-- -Not your fault, it was mine for trusting you.

I mean, we can, um, go round I suppose.

We can go via Rickenhall, Burgate maybe.

[Marta] No, but it's the whole area.

They won't let you ride through.

Not with her sneezing like that.

You'll have all the farmlands in East Anglia turning you back.

This doesn't really work for me.

I need to be in Chelmsford tonight.

I know, I know, you must think I'm such a meanie.

-No one thinks you're a-- -Shush it, please.

[Thomasine sneezes] I'll go and talk to her.

Uh, listen... Gonna need you to knock the old sneezing on the head for a bit.

They're a bit worried, so... [Thomasine] I told you it's the horse fur.

Doesn't agree with me.

Don't know if that has a name.

[Gideon] No, it doesn't have a name because that's not an ailment.

[Thomasine] It is what it is.

What can you do?

[Gideon] What you can do is stop sneezing.

-If this is some attempt to-- -[Thomasine sneezes] [Gideon] Jesus Christ, woman.

[Thomasine] I mean, maybe if I wasn't on the horse.

[Gideon] You have to be on the... You have to be on the horse.

We've got another 40 miles to cover.

You have to be on the horse.

You didn't think to mention this before we set off?

-I could have hired a cart.

-Why would you want a cart to be higher?

[sneezes] Shut up!

Now then, may we take a cart?

Oh, sorry.

We used all ours to ferry the dead.

Is there somewhere else you can get one?

Yes, my parents do have a cart, but of course, we are heading south, here, and they live three hours over here.

And that will slow you down, won't it?

-Yes.

-Yes, it's a bit of a dog leg.

It's a right angle.

That's a right angle.

If your dog had legs like that, you'd put it down.

Right.

You!

Off the horse.

-I am sorry about your mother.

-It's fine.

Is it much further?

To my parents' house?

Yes, it is much further.

Much further.

You're still annoyed about the horse hairs.

I think we both know what happened, don't you?

You tried to impede our journey in order to avoid justice.

What next?

Bribery?

-Got nothing to bribe you with.

-Yeah, quite.

Unless you like turkeys?

My cousin's got a load of them.

His coop burned down and they're all living in his house now.

Turkeys?

-How many turkeys?

-Oh, 60 last count.

-Can he get them to Framlingham?

-Well, I could ask.

He could definitely get them to Stowmarket.

So I could meet him halfway, grab them off him there.

Yeah, if you've got transport for them.

Let me get this straight.

I could get my hands on 60 unwanted turkeys, no questions asked, and all I'd have to do is drive a cage on a cart to Stowmarket, let go of you, thus ending my career as a witchfinder.

Mm, I mean, can we get hold of your cousin now?

-You're mocking me.

-Oh, honestly, woman.

Why on earth would I agree to that?

Well, because you can't get to Chelmsford in time.

The Court of Assizes starts in two days.

We'll be there on time.

In fact, we'll be there later today.

Perhaps a little later than we'd expected, perhaps once the taverns have stopped serving dinner, but today.

So your cousin has 60 turkeys in his house?

It must stink.

Excuse me.

You're a witchfinder's helper.

-I am.

-That's right.

I think he's talking to me, darling.

Why would he want to talk to you?

-Because I work for a witchfinder.

-I work for a witchfinder.

-I work for a witchfinder.

-Maybe one day.

My master, Master Gideon, he's a proper witchfinder.

Mr Hebble is a proper witchfinder.

[Edwin] My master's a proper witchfinder.

He gave me his hat and everything.

You and your master, you do your best and you pray hard then the Lord will tell you you're on the right path.

Do you want a radish?

Yeah?

Don't tell your mum!

I haven't got any radishes for you.

I don't want one.

[mischievous music playing] Why aren't you crouching?

Well, you never asked me.

Why do you think I'm crouching?

What's the point of me crouching and you're upright?

Can I just ask, why are we sneaking about?

Because the cart is in the stable... -Yeah.

-Right?

And the keys to the cart are hanging in the kitchen.

Shh.

Why don't you just knock on the door?

I'm sure your parents won't mind lending you a cart.

Mind it?

They'd bloody love it.

"Can I borrow the cart?"

"Course you can borrow the cart, love.

Shall we make a bed up for you?

How are you getting on for money?"

No, sooner I didn't see them, thank you.

I'd love to see my dad again.

Even if he had zero belief in you as a person?

Even if every time you talked about your career, his eyes would drift as if he was following the flight of one of his bees?

Which he probably was, to be fair to the guy.

-Nice big house.

-Every time I talk about work, he steers the subject back onto bees.

I said to my mother, "Father is infatuated with bees.

One of these days, he's gonna leave in the night and sleep with a bee.

He wishes you were a bee, Mother, so he could have bee children.

He would prefer a boy that was a bee... to me."

Mother said, "Gideon, sometimes you're a real disappointment to me."

That must have stung.

-I said "That must have stung."

-No, I, I heard the joke.

I was just trying to cheer you up.

Right, crouch down.

Come on.

[tense music playing] [Edwin] Guess what!

A weird lady just gave me a radish.

[woman screams] [distant shouting] -Come back to bed.

-Nah.

You were keen enough earlier.

I was drunk enough earlier.

Morning.

I know it's gone noon, but I didn't get to say morning in the morning 'cause I didn't see you in the morning, so I just thought that I'd say morning now.

In the afternoon.

I found a woodshed unlocked, so I slept in there.

I did wait up for you though in case you wanted to share my coat, but you were, um... ...the landlady.

[Cumberlidge] That's John Stearne.

[Hebble] Was.

That's John Was.

It was John Stearne.

Which means the Witchfinder General will need a new man.

But we don't know where he is.

[Hebble] Unless Stearne was carrying some sort of clue.

Stand back.

I trained as a physician.

He may not have long left.

Just feeling for signs of life.

Yes, his right hinge has stopped producing.

The left one as well.

Looks like full caruncular spasm.

Yep, his bronwins have gone.

Just feeling for prostals.

Absolutely nothing.

[mysterious music playing] Well, I did what I could, but he's quite dead.

Cause of death, it's the guts everywhere.

They should be on the inside.

Bannister's seen this.

-You know what that means?

-Mm-hmm.

-Do you?

But do you?

-Yes.

-No.

-It means he's got a head start on us.

He must know where Hopkins is.

His assistant's still here.

She won't want to tell us though.

Nobody wants to tell us until we make them want to tell us, you know what I mean?

-Mm-hmm.

-You'd be surprised how helpful people can be once their masters are accused of murder.

[mischievous music playing] [door squeaks] -[shattering] -Jesus wept.

[man snores] [sighs] Good morning, Father.

Hope you don't mind my visiting unannounced.

Um, I wasn't sneaking around so much as decided to come down and surprise you and Mother.

I'm on my way to a witch trial.

Convened by none other than Matthew Hopkins.

You may have heard me mention him over the din of the bees.

[man grunts] [Gideon] A grunt?

Just a grunt for Matthew Hopkins, is it?

He looks a bit young to be a dad, although saying that, the bloke that I get fish off, he's in his 20s.

He reckons he's got an uncle who's four.

-That's not my father.

-What?

That's not my father.

That's a pissed up Cavalier soiling my father's chair.

What the hell is happening here?

He's wandered off the battlefield, stolen into my mother's kitchen and stuffed his face!

-Oi!

Wake up!

-[slaps] Oi, leave him alone.

He's just having a bit of fun.

A bit of fun?

Yeah, classic Cavalier with their long hair and their... wine and their... constant laughing.

You ever been to a Cavalier camp?

You look at it and you think, "That's weird, they've all brought their wives along."

Get a bit closer and you see they're not the wives, they're the men.

That's all they are, Cavaliers, a bunch of wives.

Father!

Mother!

[distant explosions] Call yourself a soldier.

Look at you, man.

Your idea of an inconspicuous piece of military head wear is a hat with some feathers stuffed into it.

-[distant explosion] -[Thomasine] I like their hats, I think they're fun.

[Gideon] Well, that's Cavaliers for you.

You think Oliver Cromwell has fun?

Do you?

You think Oliver Cromwell pisses his pants in your father's chair?

No.

He'd more likely come in and say he'd rearranged your tool shed in a way you'd not thought to do before.

[Rafe] Captain, we weren't expecting you so soon.

-Captain.

-My apologies, I should have been here for your arrival, but we had the devil's own job getting hold of something to drink.

-No, I'm not a-- -...Puritans, they won't even have it in the house.

-I'm not a ca-- -We had to ransack a chapel down the road, get some communion wine.

Cromwell supporter kicked up a bit of a fuss.

I wouldn't say we disemboweled him, but let's just say -he's not exactly boweled.

-[men laugh] Quite right, Captain.

Took a bit of a thumping over at Claydon.

Had to regroup, so we thought we'd requisition this place.

-[Gideon] Yes, good idea.

-Is it requisition or sequester?

I never know.

And the residents, what happened to them?

Bunch of pansies, ran off before we could execute them and, uh, we just made ourselves at home.

-We have indeed!

-Yes.

But let's just get you and your lady a drink.

-Men, get them a drink.

-No, no, no.

We only meant to pop in to show our faces.

I was told you were bringing orders, sir?

Orders, absolutely.

We have orders.

What are they?

[sighs, clears throat] Some good, uh...

Some good orders, to be honest.

Turn it the right way round.

Just trying to think what order to give the orders in.

Clearly we need to consolidate... all of the areas.

Then if we can... buttress the flanks and perhaps, um... perch someone on a ridge somewhere.

The key thing is boots on the ground -here, here and here.

-That's France.

France, course it is.

No flies on you.

Now, I have to ask, the, uh, banging out here... That's nothing to worry about, is it?

We had to stop Cromwell's men pursuing us across the river, so what do you think we came up with?

-Blow up the bridges?

-[Rafe] Ha ha, God, yeah!

Yeah, I saw them doing that out the window.

Then how does someone cross the river?

[Cumberlidge] Tell him again.

He's told you three times already.

He came in here and he found him.

Could I be a pain and possibly speak to the boy in private?

Mums, eh?

She's only trying to stop you getting in trouble.

-Trouble?

-So you came in and you saw he was dead and this man you saw running away, what did he look like?

I didn't see a man running away.

-So what was he doing?

-Who?

This man, if he wasn't running away?

I didn't see a man.

Then how do you know he wasn't running away?

-What?

-If you can't see someone, how do you know what they're not doing?

-I don't.

-So he might well have been running away.

-Yes.

-Good.

So he was running away.

And this running man, what did he look like?

I don't know.

You don't know what he looks like, you don't know if he was running.

I have to say, I'm starting to think you've made this man up.

But that's because-- Because grown men don't just spill their own guts everywhere, do they?

And hack their own finger off.

Someone did that to him.

And if you were the only one here... they'll be pointing the finger at you.

So... [somber music playing] Would you like me to help you remember?

-[Thomasine] I think you forgot the horses.

-[Gideon] Bugger the horses.

You're not meant to.

When I worked in the stable, that was one of the rules.

You worked in a stable?

I thought you said you were allergic to horse hairs.

I think that just started today.

[Rafe] Uh, Captain?

Captain.

Anything else you want, you just give the order.

Well, I mean, we wanna cross the bridge.

[Rafe] Charlie!

Hold on the bridge!

[Charlie] Aye, Captain.

And it would be good to have our horse and cart travel down to us.

And as regards to the house, I think a sweeter repost to Cromwell's men might be to... leave it looking nice, in a weird kind of way.

-Nice?

-Well, as you found it.

Except there's a wonky table that could do with fixing up in the study.

-They'll hate that.

-Well, if it confuses them as much as it confuses me... [cavaliers laugh] No, no, no.

It's a shame you can stay for the explosion.

I mean, it all goes up.

Trees, squirrels, birds.

I can see.

I think some of it's landed in your hat.

-[all laugh] -Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

[Rafe] No, no, no.

That's supposed to be there.

Well, look, good luck out there.

We'll stay here and lie low.

-Hence the whispering.

-[all laugh] Oh, God, are we being annoying?

No, no, not at all.

It's, uh, an adorable noise.

Reminds me, I must get the horses castrated.

[all laugh] What do you mean by that, huh?

[tense music playing] I said... what do you mean by that?

Nothing.

Why do your eyes keep flicking over there?

No, just, um, that's the bridge and... need to go over the bridge, and, um... thought I might look at the bridge.

Henry, that captain's ridden all this way with orders from the Crown.

Captain?

Meaning him?

Yeah.

What's... a harquebus?

A harker?

Bus.

A harquebus.

Didn't realize there'd be a quiz.

I wish I had time for a quiz.

[laughs nervously] Is it, A, a kit bag or, B, an eye injury?

Well, I would always... go down the path of a harquebus is... a kit bag, although I do know others who would... say it was an eye injury.

It's a gun, you daft pillock.

Henry, this is a senior officer.

He's not a senior officer.

Of course he's not a senior officer.

He's a spy for Cromwell who's passing himself off as a senior officer.

-Look at him!

-Yeah, it seems Henry... Henry's half right.

Uh, I'm not a senior officer.

Did you think I was a senior officer?

-Well, yes, because you said-- -I think there's been a, um, misunderstanding here which has happened I think twice before where I've said I'm a soldier and people thought I meant soldier of the King when actually I meant a soldier of God.

-What's a soldier of God?

-Witchfinder.

And this is my witch and I'm transporting her to trial.

-Are you?

-Am I a witch?

No.

She says she's not.

Yes, well, with all due respect, that's absolute horse...

I am a witchfinder.

Thank you.

Hat.

There.

What witches have you found?

What, do you want a list?

Well, um... Sally Rocastle, devil's suckling mark found on inner thigh.

Similar to mole but not mole.

Anna Stewart, placed hex on a butcher causing him to become squeamish around certain meats.

Margaret Evans, malevolent attitude slash hunchback.

Eliza Demdike, hens not laying after she stared at them.

Beth Underwood, unusually hairy.

Paul Underwood, allows wife to be unusually hairy.

I mean, I could go on.

-Well, go on then.

-Um... Mary Cleaver.

Can't read what that says.

And then Thomasine Gooch.

Killed a pig using malicious sorcery.

-I didn't though.

-Mm-hmm.

-You can go, sweetheart.

Mm.

-What, really?

You know what I think?

You're a man pretending not to be a supporter of Cromwell so he can use our bridge.

Well, a couple of inaccuracies there.

I'm not a massive Cromwell chap myself.

I have some jokes about him.

Including: What do you call someone who is an absolute idiot?

Oliver Cromwell.

I have better ones but in all of them, the butt of the joke is, you've guessed it, Oliver Cromwell.

So... Cromwell.

Yeah, I do sometimes say that.

-Well, say it again then.

-Yeah.

[mouthing] Louder.

...Cromwell.

Say it louder.

...Cromwell.

...Cromwell!

...Cromwell!

...Cromwell!

Say it with your eyes closed.

...Cromwell!

Absolutely... his head off!

...Cromwell!

[Thomasine] Feed me your hair!

[whispers] Feed me your hair.

[Rafe] What is she saying?

Feed me your...?

Hair.

-[whispering continues] -Witches don't eat hair.

No, they do.

Witches are very fond of hair.

They sometimes congregate outside barber shops with spoons.

-[knife swooshes] -No, da, da, da, da.

Careful!

Careful.

I said she's a witch.

With a crude person here made out of twigs.

She could cast a hex on any one of you.

-Back!

-It's got four legs, it's not a person.

Yes, well, witches... often see people as four-legged creatures, minimum.

I've seen daubings that depict the pope as just a big head on a crab.

-Get her out of here.

-Off we go, then.

Hands.

We have secured the witch.

-Okay.

Let's go, come on.

-Get her out.

[Thomasine hisses and groans] [coughs] My throat.

Yes, thank you, Gooch.

-Just don't like bullies.

-It's why we have to protect each other.

-Each other?

-Well, I did my bit.

I kept my counsel initially, something of a decoy to create the opportunity which, to give full credit to you, you took.

Did you have to tie these so bloody tight?

Anyone would think you were tying me up for real.

Well, we'll talk about that once we're over the bridge.

What's there to talk about?

We'll talk about what there is to talk about once we're talking about it.

I saved you and you won't even let me go?

That is for the court to decide, but I will be adding a very generous annotation to your case notes.

But they are still watching, so you need to keep being witchy.

You can't just annotate someone's case notes and say now we're even.

-Do it, do it, before they see.

-If someone does something nice for you, -you've got to do something just as nice for them.

-Charlie, blow the bridge!

[fuse fizzles] Run!

[mischievous music playing] -[Thomasine screams] -Come on!

And witches don't eat-- ahh!

[gentle music playing] Ha!

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Your stupid hair!

You look like women!

And not young women either!

Old ones who complain at markets!

Poodles!

Pathetic!

[Cavaliers talking indistinctly] [Thomasine] Is that a harquebus?

-[Henry] Fire!

-[gunshots] Fire!

[angry shouting] [Topcliffe] Let the boy speak!

[constable] Poor lad's petrified, get him an ale.

Don't be daft, he's only... How old are you?

I'm eight.

Oh, no, fine.

Get him an ale.

Describe him again.

Black cloak, black hat.

Gingery beard, not very tall.

Gingery beard, not very tall.

Bannister!

Yes, please, Janet.

[door squeaks] [tense music playing] Well, someone's in a hurry.

[sobs] [upbeat music playing] You annoyed we had to leave the horses?

-Yes.

-Probably still have them if I'd not been sneezing.

-Yes.

-Are we still gonna get to Cheltenham tonight?

-No.

-Or is it Chelmsford?

-Yes.

-Is Chelmsford the same as Cheltenham?

-No.

-Is it near Cheltenham?

-No.

-But their names are the same.

-No.

-Both begin with Chel, though.

-Yes.

-Just that one ends with "tenham" -and the other ends with "msford."

-Yes.

-Have you ever been to Chelmsford?

-Yes.

-Have you ever been to Cheltenham?

-No.

-Have you ever been to Chelbury?

-No.

Is there such a place as Chelbury?

I don't know.

[theme music playing]