
Episode 2
Season 1 Episode 2 | 46m 4sVideo has Closed Captions
Wayne looks for his father while Debbie searches for the son she gave up for adoption.
Wayne believes he will finally make sense of his own identity when he meets his father. Forced to choose between her husband and the baby she’d had by another man, Debbie had her baby boy adopted. She has spent years trying to trace him.
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Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback

Episode 2
Season 1 Episode 2 | 46m 4sVideo has Closed Captions
Wayne believes he will finally make sense of his own identity when he meets his father. Forced to choose between her husband and the baby she’d had by another man, Debbie had her baby boy adopted. She has spent years trying to trace him.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
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Learn Moreabout PBS online sponsorship[Davina] For thousands of people across Britain, someone is missing from their lives.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her.
[man] The major mystery for me is, who is he, where is he, and what did he turn into?
[woman] I wanna know, does he wanna be part of my life?
Does he want to get to know his daughter?
But all too often, years of searching lead nowhere.
Well, this is the series that steps in to help, offering a last chance to people desperate to find long lost family.
They've found her!
[shrieking] Your son has been found.
Oh, wow.
I've wanted to see this picture for so long.
Twenty-five years.
It's okay, it'll be all right.
You aren't gonna lose me again.
That is your sister.
Oh, my God.
Oh, she's beautiful.
Our searches have uncovered family secrets and taken us all over the world, finding people that no one else has been able to trace.
Two walks in a park, two different families.
-Yeah.
-And one incredible story.
She has got a Wills face.
Oh, she's definitely got the Wills eyes.
[Nicky] And finally, answering the questions that have haunted entire lives.
I don't know if you can understand what that means.
[Davina] This time, a soldier, urgently searching for the truth about the father he's never known.
Everything I've heard about him's bad.
In my soul, I just can't feel that he's good... until I look at him.
And a mother, desperate to find the son she gave up for adoption to save her marriage.
I want to know that he's been happy.
I so want to know that he's had a good life.
And I want to ask him not to hate me.
[dramatic music playing] Our first story brings us to Nottinghamshire and a soldier's quest to finally make sense of who he is.
[runner panting] Thirty-two-year-old Wayne Rogers has just applied for a second tour of duty with the British army.
In just a few months' time, he could be posted to Afghanistan.
It's what I'm all about.
It's who I am.
You know, it is where I come alive, outside.
Growing up, Wayne always felt different from the rest of his family, especially his dad.
Yeah, my dad was never into the outdoorsy things.
He never really showed that much interest in me wanting to climb up, whatever I could do.
Wanted to bike ride from A to B as fast as I could do.
I love him and I'll always honor him, but there was always that feeling of, it's not there.
Then when he was 15, an uncle let slip a secret that made sense of all Wayne's feelings.
Yeah, I was with my uncle and I was telling him about who I was and how I was and... he just turned round and he says, "You're just like your dad."
"No, I'm not."
-"Yeah, you are."
-"No, I'm not."
"Yeah, you are, your real dad."
When I found out, it made me feel there's a hole inside me, but I was also relieved of the knowledge that, ah... that's why.
Sometimes I feel angry... and sometimes I feel just, who am I?
All Wayne knows about his background is that 31 years ago, in the Nottinghamshire pit village of Newstead, his mother Diane started going out with a local lad, Shaun Freeman.
They were both just teenagers, and from what Wayne's been told, Shaun and his family had a reputation in the village.
[contemplative music playing] I spoke to family members and they said, "Well, you know, he was a bit of a rogue, watch out."
"And his family were as well, so..." Shortly after Shaun and Wayne's mother started seeing each other, she became pregnant.
Back in the '70s, news of any teenage pregnancy would have been scandalous in a tight-knit pit village like Newstead.
My mum in general doesn't talk about this very much, which I can understand.
Uh...
I don't ask very much, uh, because I know it hurts, but... uh, I still have a need to know.
Amid all the rumors about his father, the only thing Wayne has established is that after a brief spell down the pit, his father left Newstead 30 years ago and hasn't been seen since.
It wasn't a year after I was born that he disappeared.
So, I mean, the major mystery for me is who is he, where is he and what did he turn into?
Now Wayne is settled with partner Kez and his stepkids Stephen and Thea, he wants answers about his own identity.
Fifty percent of my personality, and my heritage, I haven't got a clue where it comes from.
I do have a short temper and the levels of aggression that I'm quite scary sometimes to myself.
My stubbornness.
I'm monumentally stubborn.
That hasn't come from my mum.
Where does it come from?
Wayne has spent the last 17 years searching for his father with no success.
And now on the verge of a possible call-up to Afghanistan, Wayne's desperate for answers.
If he gets to meet his dad, I think Wayne will really be able to lay a few things to rest.
He just wants to know.
You know, your DNA can't be changed.
He just wants to know what Shaun's like.
[Wayne] There are obviously two sides to every person.
And everything I've heard about him's bad.
Deep down inside, was he actually a good guy or not?
In my soul, I just can't feel that he's good... until I look at him.
[birds calling] When we took up Wayne's search, we always knew it was going to be tough.
We had so little to go on and Wayne wasn't even sure of the correct spelling of his father's name.
But we were up against the clock.
With a call-up to Afghanistan looming, Wayne needed answers quickly.
Nicky takes up the search.
The only information Wayne could give us about his biological father, Shaun Freeman, was that he came from a big family and he had five brothers, that the Freemans ran a fish and chip shop in Newstead, but after Shaun left the town, pretty soon after that, so did the rest of the family.
Wayne didn't have a clue where they'd gone, but he knew the names of some of the brothers.
So we started searching electoral rolls and birth, marriage and death indexes for any traces of the family.
But there were thousands of Freemans in the UK with the same names as Shaun's brothers.
Then we decided to narrow the search to Nottinghamshire, thinking that at least some members of the family might have stayed in the area.
It was then that we hit upon an address for Harold and Thelma Freeman.
A check of the birth registry confirmed they had six sons, including one called Shaun.
We had found Shaun's mum and dad.
It was our first significant breakthrough.
We contacted Shaun's parents.
If anyone knew where Shaun was, it had to be them.
But we didn't get the answer we were expecting.
They hadn't seen Shaun for over four years.
And then, out of the blue, we got a phone call.
It was Shaun.
He'd heard about our enquiries through the grapevine and, amazingly, he was living in Nottingham and he agreed to meet me to find out about Wayne.
Shaun told us that he had spent most of his life living and working abroad, but that he was now back in the UK.
I just don't know what to expect of Shaun.
I mean, the picture that Wayne's been given of him isn't entirely brilliant, but who knows what the truth is?
The most important thing, how will Shaun feel about the fact that Wayne has traced him and will he want to meet him?
Since returning to Nottingham, Shaun's been employed as a care worker for autistic adults.
He agreed to meet me in his local pub.
-Shaun.
-Hi.
How are you?
Nicky.
Good to see you.
-How you feeling?
-Nervous.
[chuckles] [sighs] So when you found out that Wayne, your son, was looking for you, how did you immediately react?
A bit of relief.
A bit of something that's been there all your life, well, for me, for 32 years.
Something that's always been there.
Finally maybe can put to rest?
Did you think about him over the years?
You know, there wouldn't have been a week that had gone by without me thinking about him.
So, yeah, in my mind he was always there.
So he's looked for you, why didn't you look for him?
I don't think I could imagine knocking on his door.
This chap coming to the door and me saying, "Well, I'm Shaun Freeman, you know, where's my son?"
What right have I to have any association as a father?
I've not been around.
I've never taken care of him.
The only association I've got as a father is a deed, an act that passed all those years ago.
So looking back all those years ago, take us through what happened.
For me it was my first childhood sweetheart.
It must have been really scary at the time.
Terrifying.
Yeah.
Especially in those days.
For her it must have been very, very difficult as well.
I mean, her mother, she was... she came round to my parents' house, uh, to announce the situation, and that was, uh... She was quite a fiery lady, let's put it that way.
[chuckles] Scared the death out of me, but from that point on, I was never allowed to have anything to do with Diane whatsoever.
Not allowed to speak, talk, and in a village it was very, very difficult, you know.
Uh...
I was already being told to block it out, to forget about it, even before the baby was born.
Have you ever seen him?
I saw him before he was six months old once.
And he was in the pushchair in the streets in Newstead Village.
I saw him for about two minutes.
The fact of not being able to see your own child, even at a very young age, it hurts.
It really, really hurts.
I tried not to show it, because I was told not to.
I was told it didn't matter, I was told all the things...
It does mark you.
Do you want to see a photograph of him?
-If you've got one.
-Yeah.
I'd like to see a photograph of him.
Oh, my God.
He looks so much like my brother.
Absolutely incredible.
Looks a bit like me, doesn't he?
Oh, yeah.
Hmm.
Wow!
Do you want to see a picture of him in his work clothes?
Go on then.
Ah.
By gum!
It's in his blood as well.
I mean, the thing that, not all my family, but my ancestor... my heritage have been in the army.
They've all done a lot of service.
It's one of the roads I think the Freemans have gone down.
Hmm.
Well done, mate.
He's a good lad, isn't he?
Look at the size of him.
-6' 4".
-6' 4"?
Ah, I'm 6' 2".
[chuckles] Do you want to meet him?
Yeah, of course I do.
Yeah, definitely, definitely.
-Yeah.
-To Wayne.
Oh, to Wayne.
Yes.
[contemplative music playing] [Davina] Before we tell Wayne the amazing news that we've found his father and that he wants to meet him, we begin our second story in the west country... with a woman who's desperate to find the son she last saw when he was a three-month-old baby.
Nurse Debbie Eades lives with her husband Brian in the Somerset village of Westbury-Sub-Mendip.
Ooh, it's a nice handsome dog, isn't it?
-Bless him.
-Aw!
Despite being happily married, Debbie is haunted by the decision she made 26 years ago to have her baby adopted.
[contemplative music playing] [Debbie] I never had a day in my life that I haven't thought about him, and to me he's always been my son and always will be.
Come on then.
[clicks tongue] Sit!
Good boy.
For Debbie, life hasn't always been as settled as it is now.
Twenty-seven years ago, she was a teenage mum, married to her first husband Paul, with a young son Daniel.
[Debbie] We'd both got married young.
There were lots of problems.
I was very insecure.
I was all over the place anyway.
After a couple of years of marriage, Debbie and Paul separated.
Soon afterwards, Debbie started seeing someone else.
Good boy!
And this guy came into the bar where I was working who was tall, good looking.
He had all the right things to say.
He was the only sort of black guy that ever came into the pub, which made him sort of even more mysterious and interesting.
Fell for him, hook, line and sinker.
Come on!
Come on!
Within weeks, Debbie discovered she was pregnant.
I was so scared.
I knew it was, uh... it was going to be difficult to tell the father.
He just didn't want to know.
He didn't care.
He just said to me, you know, "You get rid of it."
[bird squawking] It was just a complete inconvenience to him.
I never seen him again until I was very, very heavily pregnant, and then he seen me and crossed over the road.
I never seen or heard from him again.
But at the back of her mind, Debbie wasn't completely sure that this man was the father.
Was always that little chance that, you know, maybe it was Paul's baby.
This was a hope Debbie and Paul clung to, as they agreed to give their marriage another go.
He knew all along, you know, that there was a really huge chance that the baby wasn't his.
And we discussed, once the baby was born, if it wasn't Paul's, then we would look at adoption.
The last time Debbie came to Dorchester was to give birth 26 years ago.
Going through a pregnancy and knowing that you've got a chance it could be all okay, or a chance that it would turn out that I wouldn't be able to keep my baby, a horrible feeling, to be honest with you.
[Davina] Twenty-six years ago, Debbie Eades was facing a terrible decision.
She was about to give birth to a baby, unsure if the father was her husband or the man with whom she'd had a brief affair.
She and husband Paul had agreed that she would only keep the baby if it turned out to be his.
After a difficult labor, Debbie gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
She called him David.
The pediatrician checked him over and he then said, "You do realize this baby..." that was his words... "You do realize that baby is mixed race?"
[contemplative music playing] [Debbie sighs] And that's when it just all fell apart.
Paul at the time was just like, "Right, can you just take him out?"
I couldn't stop crying.
I just couldn't stop crying.
And I remember just crying and crying.
Debbie eventually managed to persuade Paul to bring David home to see if they could make it work as a family.
I'd begged him to give it a go, and Paul couldn't have tried any harder.
And I remember one day he was in the bedroom and he'd changed him and everything and got him ready for bed.
And I went in and smiled and I said, "He's lovely, isn't he?"
And he said, "He's a gorgeous little lad, he really is, but he's not mine and...
I can't."
Debbie then had to make the most difficult decision of her life and put David up for adoption.
If I had have kept David, I would have been a single mum with Daniel and David in a small town, where there would have been some real prejudice going on.
And I don't think I was strong enough, or mature enough, to give him the love and support he would have needed as well.
All Debbie could do was make sure David went to a family that would know and understand what he would face in life.
Working alongside social services, she eventually found an American couple, Donna and Jerry Sledge, who were living in the UK.
They promised me that they would love and look after him.
And I believed them, you know, 'cause they were just so lovely.
Debbie gave Donna and Jerry a letter to give to her son when he was old enough, saying that she would always be there if he ever wanted to find her.
I just hope that he understands how much I love him, and loved him, and will always love him.
Um, and I hope, in some way, that letter conveyed that, that... he never did anything, you know, to deserve this.
I want to know that he's been happy.
I so want to know that he's had a good life.
And I want to ask him not to hate me.
To give me a chance to explain.
Debbie always pinned her hopes on her son responding to her letter, but she still hasn't heard anything.
Her worst fears are either he wasn't given the letter, or he wants nothing to do with her.
Despite her fears, Debbie has spent almost a decade searching for her son with no success.
[Nicky] But a lot can happen in 26 years.
Debbie herself has split up from husband Paul and has since remarried and changed her name.
And it wasn't just the amount of time that had passed that made this case particularly tough.
Not only is it very difficult for a birth parent to search for an adopted person... but David's new parents weren't even from the UK.
Jerry Sledge worked for the US Air Force, which meant he could be back in the USA or literally anywhere in the world.
[upbeat music playing] The only way for us to help Debbie was by working with a specialist intermediary, legally entitled to search for adopted people.
If Debbie's son was found, the intermediary would need his permission before passing on his details to us.
And then, after three months, we got the news we'd been hoping for, Debbie's son had been traced.
[contemplative music playing] He was living in the US just outside Phoenix, Arizona, and was now called Jonathan Sledge.
Not a day goes by when Debbie doesn't think about Jonathan.
But what about him?
He's only 26 years old.
Is he ready for all this stuff?
Is he angry with her for giving him up for adoption?
Why hasn't he responded to the letter she wrote all those years ago?
And will he want to meet her?
I think it's just up here.
It's been 26 years since Debbie gave Jonathan up for adoption.
He's now married with a family of his own and works as an electronic engineer.
Right.
[doorbell rings] -Jonathan?
-Hi.
-Nicky.
-Nice to meet you.
You too.
Really nice to meet you.
-Would you like to come on in?
-And who's this?
This is Jordan and Rachel.
Thank you very much for having me in your home.
-[Rachel] Thank you for coming.
-[peaceful music playing] What did your mom and dad tell you about being adopted?
Well, my mom, what she told me about my birth mom was that she... wanted to keep me and wanted to love me and... and then that's the letter from her.
-Can I read it?
-Yeah.
[Nicky] And this is when she was completely heartbroken about giving you up.
"I think this is the hardest letter I've ever written."
"I feel I must tell you how much David means to me."
"I know I can never forget him."
I didn't read it until I was, uh, like... 14 or 15.
What was it like the first time you read it?
Uh...
It took me hours 'cause I just was... wanted to read every detail of it.
It was like the only thing I had from my birth mom, so it was the only thing I could know of her.
You thought about it a lot when you were growing up?
Yeah, I thought about it.
Just thinking what she's like, what she's doing.
You always imagine some big reunion, but in reality you don't know what it's going to be like.
How was it when you found out that your birth mother was looking for you?
That she's looking for me makes it like she cares.
She must want to know about me, not just... gave me up and that was it.
She's thought about you every single day of her life.
It's made me a lot happier just to know that... every feeling I've had looking for her, it's been mutual.
You've been searching?
I've been looking on and off for ten years now.
She was worried that you might not want to meet her.
I've never had that feeling.
I don't have any anger.
I've thought at times maybe she wouldn't want to meet me, so you don't know what husband she could have now or what family.
If I'm just a secret.
Well, you've never been a secret.
She's always been very open about the fact that you're out there.
So all this time she thought, "He doesn't want to know me," you thought, "She doesn't want to know me," you've been searching for each other.
It's just sad really that all this time's gone by.
Well, this is your birth mother.
[contemplative music playing] [Jonathan] It's good to see her finally.
It's so much at once that... Twenty-six years of nothing, and then all this at once.
Meeting her is a big thing.
You want to?
Yeah.
I just want to know what was, what could have been and what can be.
[peaceful music playing] Later that evening, Jonathan goes to see his adoptive mother, Donna.
She's no longer with Jerry, as they divorced a number of years ago.
-Hi.
-How did your day go?
-Good.
-[laughing] [Nicky] For Donna, this is a special moment, as she's been helping Jonathan in his ten-year search for Debbie.
[Donna] God, what an exciting day!
Sister Sophia is equally excited.
I don't know how you were, Jonathan, but I think this is really exciting for her to have found you.
I think I've waited your entire life for this day, because I...
I wanted to fulfil my promise to your birth mother.
She gave me... she gave me a beautiful son.
I mean, her most precious.
And so that the next step will be now to check our passports.
[Sophia laughs] Yeah.
[peaceful music playing] [Davina] After a complex search of public records and electoral rolls, we eventually tracked down Wayne Rogers' father, Shaun Freeman, to Nottingham.
For most of Wayne's life, Shaun has been living abroad and only returned to the UK a couple of years ago.
I'm now on my way to Wayne's house to tell him the good news.
This quest for Wayne has always been about so much more than just finding his biological father.
Finding Shaun is about finding out who he is and about finding his identity as a man.
-Wayne?
-Hi, you all right?
-Hi, I'm Davina.
-Pleasure to meet you.
-Come on in.
-Thank you.
You've been looking for Shaun Freeman for a while and needing information about him.
And I know that you're aware that he moved around a bit.
He was a bit of a drifter, and it made our search very difficult.
But I'm here because I've got some news.
We have found your father.
Wow!
Is he well?
He is.
Would you like to see a picture?
Yes.
-You ready?
-I'm ready.
What do you think?
In some ways it's like looking in a mirror, isn't it?
We're very similar.
Hmm.
Some parts of me are saying, "Why haven't you looked?"
"You know I'm alive, where have you been?"
That in itself does, to some degree, say to me what kind of man is he then, if he knows I'm alive but he still hasn't looked.
He was also worried about how much you knew, about whether wandering into your life would, you know, mess you up, whether he was a mystery and whether you'd been lied-- I mean, he had no idea.
But you've always been in his thoughts.
It's intense.
[sighs] Hmm.
Obviously we found him, so he knows that you've been looking.
-Yeah.
-And he did write you a letter.
-Right.
-Would you like to read it?
Yes, please.
"Dear Wayne."
"I would just like to say that I think you are very brave for going this far to find me."
"I'm sure that there are loads of questions that both of us will benefit greatly from the answers."
"You have always been part of my life and now it seems we will be able to tell people something about our lives."
"I'm looking forward to our meeting and hope both of us can put to rest certain things that may have been missing up until now."
"Well, thank you again, Wayne, for creating this chance."
"Take care, Shaun."
That's how he spells it.
I've never known how he spells it.
-There's a few ways to spell it.
-Yes, there are.
I thought it was lovely the way that he'd said about your courage looking for him and how proud he was.
Yeah.
To be very honest, all the stories I've heard, they haven't painted him, or his family, in a very good light.
But looking at this and reading this, I don't believe he's a bad person.
It's so good to see him healthy and alive, and happy.
I can feel a change already.
-Can you?
-Yeah.
I think I've smiled more now in the past ten minutes than I've smiled in a month.
[laughing] -He'd love to meet up with you.
-I'd like to meet him.
So we'll organize that as soon as possible.
[laughs] Wow!
Father.
[contemplative music playing] Hey, guys, that's my father.
-[girl] Cool.
-[boy] Cool.
-Do we look alike?
-[boy] Yeah.
You really do, actually.
No change apart from the hair.
Makes me feel so much better.
Good.
Good.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
At last, eh?
-Definitely.
-At last.
I'll see you soon.
I'll see you soon.
It was amazing: when he looked at the photograph, he started smiling more, he relaxed, it was like a different man.
And I just, I pray that the reunion does for Wayne what he's been seeking all these years.
And that is, not just find his father, but also help him find himself.
[contemplative music playing] The day has come for Wayne to be reunited with the father he's never known.
Very big day.
Looking forward to it.
Quite nervous, but nerves are good.
-Hey, how are you?
-Are you ready?
Oh, I'm ready.
[Davina] What's been the biggest joy for you finding your father?
Right there.
You just said it.
Finding my father.
Finding Shaun.
Finding out that... find that he was alive.
[Davina] Twenty years ago, Nicky went through something similar when he met his birth mother for the first time.
-Shaun.
-[chuckles] -All right.
-Good morning.
-How are you?
-I'm all right.
-Hi, Newstead Village, please.
-Yeah.
When I was going through this, there's a little part of you thinks "I'm gonna leg it, I'm gonna run away, 'cause I want to get rid of this nervous feeling and I'll just turn my back on the whole thing."
-You know you won't, but... -No, no, no.
Is it fear?
I don't know if it's fear.
As I say, it's an emotion that I can't describe 'cause it's one I've never felt before.
It's... anticipation and...
So when you're looking ahead, what are you hoping for?
-What's going to come out of it?
-I don't know.
I don't want anything.
I just want, you know, I just want to feel all right.
I want things to be right, I want him to be happy.
I want, you know...
I want the missing parts to be put together and... get on, really.
I don't know.
[contemplative music playing] [Davina] Wayne and Shaun will meet on the hill overlooking Newstead, the mining village where Shaun grew up and Wayne was born.
I'm kind of slowly running out of words now.
You don't need to speak.
-So we're going to get out here.
-Yeah.
-Nice spot, isn't it?
-Beautiful spot.
-You ready?
-I think so.
Ready as I'm ever going to be, after all this time.
Jesus wept.
[chuckles] Are you ready?
As ready as I'll ever be.
-[clicks tongue] -No.
[laughs] He's just up there.
There's a bench, and if you walk through that gap, you can go and see your dad.
Good luck, Wayne.
-Thank you.
-Hug.
Hug.
-I'll see you soon.
-Definitely.
-Take care.
-Good luck.
[peaceful music playing] This has been a long road.
Come here.
-How's it going?
-I'm all right.
Yeah.
I don't know what we do now, sit down.
Sit down.
Ah, what a last couple of weeks that's been.
-Yeah.
-[sighs] It's the only thing on my mind, really.
-Yeah.
-[laughing] I've been thinking about this moment for months and months and months, and all this time, you know, when I finally get to meet you... and nothing's coming out, it's still not gonna happen.
I carried you for 32 years, man.
I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say.
Bloody hell!
It's beautiful.
Thank you.
'Cause if it weren't for you, we wouldn't be sitting here now.
No.
Sorry, this is me.
I know, it's all right, mate.
It's all right, mate.
-You know I've got a dad.
-Yeah.
And he's a fantastic man, but I can no longer now say I've never met my real father, because he's sat right in front of me.
-Yeah.
-[sniffles] Yeah.
Bloody hell.
When I was walking up the hill, I think every step took a year off me.
And I was going for it.
You know, and the spring in my step was returning and I was just... Yeah.
Felt like I was five and it was Christmas.
You know, and I was going in there.
And I had a massive, massive present to open.
It's an amazing feeling, you know.
It shows you blood is thicker than water, definitely.
You know, blood ties and it's incredible.
I mean, the way he talks and everything.
It's just fantastic.
Fantastic.
You know, I can feel proud.
I know who he is.
I know what he's doing.
He's a great bloke, you know.
And I don't know if you can understand what that means.
It's fantastic.
Fantastic.
-You look like me, don't you?
-Yeah.
[Wayne] When I finally met him, you know, I shook his hand and I looked into his face, I looked into his eyes and I saw that this man in front of me, he's... he's a good guy.
[laughing] [Davina] After 32 years, Wayne now has an opportunity to build a relationship with the father he has never known.
In our second story, Debbie is looking for a similar chance with the son she gave up for adoption years ago.
I've arranged a meeting so I can tell her he's been found.
I know the story starts when you were very young.
Yes.
I was 20 when I had David.
It was important to you to find the right place for him, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I sat a long time with the social worker, and she did come up with Donna and Jerry.
What was your connection like with Donna?
It sounds silly to say, but at that point it seemed like she was a friend.
She didn't seem to judge me.
She said she'd never forget, you know, that I'd given her this chance to have another child.
Well, I'm here to give you some news.
Uh... as you know, I mean, it is very difficult for a parent to seek out a child that's been adopted, but your son has been found.
Is he happy?
He's really happy.
And he's really well.
And he is living in America.
He's called Jonathan.
Have they looked after him well?
They looked after him really well, really, really well.
Would you like to see some pictures?
Before I show you, I want to let you know something really important, that he's not angry with you.
-Really?
-Yeah.
-He's not angry with you at all.
-Doesn't hate me?
No, he doesn't hate you.
He doesn't feel rejected at all?
No.
[gasps] Oh, my God!
Oh!
He's absolutely perfect.
Been quite an enormous thing for him, this.
-Yes.
-Uh...
But in particular because he's been looking for you.
-Oh, you're joking.
-Yeah.
I don't think he'll really believe it until he meets you and sees you in the flesh.
Do you think he will?
I think he'd love to meet you, if you'd like to meet him.
Oh, my God!
Oh...
I've got one more, uh, thing I'd like to share with you, and that is he has written you a letter.
"Mother, I have been trying to write this letter for days."
"My whole life I have imagined what you were like and what you were doing."
"I have always wondered if you thought about me as I thought about you."
"When I was 15, I read the letter that you wrote."
"Since then I've been looking for you with not much success."
"I have always been afraid of finding you and you not wanting to know me."
"I am excited to meet you and to find out where I come from."
"Thank you for finding me."
"Maybe now I can feel whole."
And he wants to see me.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
[peaceful music playing] Oh, thank you.
[Davina] Twenty-six years ago, Debbie Eades made the most agonizing decision of her life when she gave up her mixed-race baby for adoption.
She's been searching for almost a decade with no success, but now he's been found in Arizona in the US.
Today they will meet for the first time.
It is majorly important to her today.
I mean, when she gave Jonathan up 26 years ago, she always wanted to get back in contact with him.
And she's been looking since he was 18 years old.
I've carried this love for years, uh, ever since he was born, and I just worry about how he's going to feel about today.
Debbie has arranged to meet Jonathan in Dorchester, his birth place.
And his whole family have flown in from America for the occasion.
He is such a nervous wreck.
I mean, he may say, and he may look like he's together and calm, but he's not.
He's just shaking inside.
I just know that his stomach is just tore up.
I'm just trying to think about what I'm going to say, and I never figured it out, but, at the same time, uh... just waiting for it to happen and just let it go, like... let what happens happen.
-See you.
-Okay.
Be good.
-Enjoy.
-[laughs] Call the dog back.
-Have a safe journey.
-Bye, Brian.
[laughs, sniffles] Hey.
How you doing?
-Good and you?
-Are you feeling good?
-Yep.
Nervous.
-Come on.
It's a big day.
Let's go.
[Davina] The park where Debbie wants to meet is just a stone's throw from the hospital where Jonathan was born.
Have you thought about what you're going to say?
No.
I tried to, but just going to let what happens happen.
This is where I'm going to leave you.
Right.
I know it's going to be fantastic.
It's going to be brilliant.
You see that path down there -to the left of the railings?
-Yes.
Debbie's waiting for you down there.
Thank you.
Good luck.
[contemplative music playing] -Hi.
-Hello!
What a lovely boy.
[sobbing] I'm sorry.
How are you?
-Good.
-Yeah?
-Nervous?
-Yeah.
Think we both are.
Oh!
Let me get a... Oh!
Thank you for not hating me.
No.
You don't know how much that means to me.
Can I hug you again?
I wanted to just touch him like a mother would and just hold him and he totally felt like he was mine.
He was my son.
I was hoping for the best, that she would be welcoming, but... 'cause I just didn't know what to expect, like, I didn't know what to go into it like.
But then it was all just so emotional, so it was great.
I've carried so much guilt for so many years and to suddenly know that you don't have to feel like that anymore.
This son, that's like a gift.
[contemplative music playing] [Davina] Next time on Long Lost Family, two searches for boys given up for adoption.
A woman who gave up her son when she was 16, after keeping her pregnancy secret until the day she went into labor.
The actual decision I made in my head to have him adopted was while I was on the table giving birth to him.
And a sister whose last memory of her brother was of him being taken away by a couple called Mr. and Mrs. Smith over 50 years ago.
He may not even know that he has a sister.
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