[Davina] For thousands of people across Britain, someone is missing from their lives.

[woman] People have a history and a past; I don't have that.

How often has he thought about me?

What has he thought about me?

I want to find him.

I need to know that he forgives us for what we did.

Finding someone when the trail's gone cold can feel like an impossible task.

But that's where we step in...

Your mum's been found.

...offering a last chance to people desperate for help.

She feels she's given you away twice.

Oh, poor woman.

-[Davina] There's your sister.

-Wow!

Oh, isn't she lovely!

With no idea where our searches will lead, we've travelled the world, uncovering family secrets and finding people that no one else has been able to trace.

Hello.

How are you doing?

-Hello.

-You all right?

[Davina] And finally, answering questions that have haunted entire lives.

I don't ever, ever wanna let her go again.

I love you saying "mum," I am your mum.

[daughter] I've waited long enough to say it.

This week, two stories of people struggling with abandonment.

A son yearning to understand why his mother gave him up.

To hear that she did try to keep me, that's all that matters.

And a brother searching for his sister who disappeared when he was six.

[man] All of a sudden she'd gone.

I was kept and she wasn't.

[dramatic music playing] Our first search is on behalf of a man who's struggled with the decision his birth mother made when he was just a baby.

She had a choice: me or her family.

Why would she choose her family over her newly born baby?

She didn't have to hand me over.

[planer buzzing] Thirty-nine-year-old carpenter Peter Gunn lives in Bishop's Stortford, next door to his adoptive mother, Miriam.

She's nearly 80.

I feel as though the roles have reversed slightly, that I'm now looking after her.

-[Miriam] What's in the oven?

-Garlic bread.

[Miriam] Oh.

[Peter] Which is fair because she's been there throughout everything.

She's a very special woman, she really is.

After a time in foster care, Peter was adopted by Miriam and her husband when he was nine months old.

He'd been sort of shunted around from pillar to post, so he was, um, unsettled.

Peter always knew he was adopted and did eventually settle into his new family.

It was a loving, caring, stable environment.

I was never ever made to feel any different.

But when his parents' marriage broke down and his father left, what would have been a difficult period for any child was especially so for Peter.

Just felt like another rejection, once by my birth mother and then by my adopted dad.

And I started to feel there was something missing and I feel guilty to even think that... especially after my mum's given me so much love.

I used to turn to Mum for everything.

Mum was the fixer.

She's nearly 80 and she still tries to fix things.

Bless her!

But that's the one thing she couldn't fix.

When Peter was 18, he applied for his adoption file.

He discovered that his birth mother was called Daphne Hazel Marshall, and although she gave birth to him in Bedford in the south of England, she was from Ireland.

Amongst the papers was a letter from Daphne.

[Peter] "If I could do anything to keep him I would do, but that would mean cutting myself away from my family, whom I love dearly."

She had a choice: um, me or her family.

I couldn't understand that, I really couldn't.

The letter heightened Peter's feelings of anger and rejection.

[Peter] I had a lot of emotions that I couldn't deal with.

I would just go and get drunk, get high.

Do whatever it took to get rid of those emotions.

To just run away from everything.

Over the next 15 years, Peter developed a drug habit, which spiraled out of control.

It was frightening, absolutely terrifying, because he was in that sort of state that he just wanted all the drugs he could get.

That breaks your heart.

[Peter] It got to a stage I'd lost a lot of weight, I looked ill.

I looked like someone with a bad habit would look, you know.

[Miriam] I think we would have lost him, he would have just gone under and died, and I thought, "My God, how can I stop this?"

In 2007, Miriam remortgaged her house and got Peter treatment for his addiction.

He hasn't touched drugs since.

There's no way I could have done any of that without Mum's help.

Not only did she pay for it, she was there emotionally supporting me throughout.

During his treatment, Peter began to rethink his feelings about his birth mother.

I started to realize I had looked at the situation in a selfish way.

For the first time ever, I looked at it from Daphne's point of view and what she must have gone through, giving me to somebody else.

Must have been the hardest decision anyone could ever be asked to make.

-Here ya, that's 95 pence, please.

-Lovely, thank you.

[Miriam] I think it's very important for him to meet her and just find out why things happened.

[Peter] If I could hear, "I didn't want to let you go.

I wanted us to be together, but circumstances wouldn't allow..." that's all that matters, that she did try to keep me.

From his adoption file, we could see that, although Peter was born in Bedford in England, his birth mother Daphne was from the Republic of Ireland.

Ireland in the 1970s was a conservative society and views about children born out of wedlock were largely influenced by the Church.

Shame forced some unmarried pregnant Irish women to travel to Britain to have their babies, and many gave them up for adoption.

In fact, my own mother came over from Dublin to give birth to me.

In Daphne's case, we knew from her letter that she didn't want to be cut off from her family in Ireland, so that's where we started our search.

We found Daphne's birth certificate, which showed that she was born in Arklow, County Wicklow, on the east coast of Ireland.

It was our assumption that this is where she would have returned.

Peter was born in March 1975, so we searched records for any sign of Daphne back at home after that date.

Eventually, we found this marriage certificate for a Daphne Marshall to a Declan Phelan, in County Wicklow in 1978, three years after Peter was born.

Could this be Peter's birth mother?

[gulls calling] Unfortunately, Phelan is a common Irish surname.

What gave us our breakthrough were her two first names: Daphne Hazel, an unusual combination in Ireland.

We were able to narrow down our search and found a Daphne Hazel Phelan still living in Arklow.

Thank you very much.

Although now divorced, Daphne had two more children after Peter.

Peter still struggles with that sense of abandonment.

Now, as an adopted person, I completely understand the need to know why the woman who gave birth to you gave you away.

So how does Daphne feel about the choice she made 39 years ago?

-Hi.

-Hello, how are ya?

-I'm Nicky.

-Hi.

Thank you very much for coming.

-Thank you for having me, Daphne.

-You're very welcome.

-Pleased to meet you.

-You too.

So, how has it been since you found out that Peter has been looking for you?

Very anxious time it has been, wondering will he accept me, wondering will he ever forgive me?

-Forgive you?

-For giving him up.

That has been, I suppose, the worst guilt trip I've ever been on in my life.

But sure, I've thought about him all over the years.

So, why did you move to England?

I was just gone 21 and I was only supposed to go for a fortnight's holidays, and when I was over there, I found out I was pregnant.

I had no intentions of giving him away.

I always wanted to mind him myself, but I could never bring him home.

My father was very strict.

Methodist.

And he actually gave me a warning, "If you ever get pregnant, don't ever darken the door again."

-Never come back?

-No.

-He was just so strict.

-What was his reaction -when he found out that you were pregnant?

-He didn't.

My father never knew.

My mother knew, but my mum wouldn't tell my father because she knew exactly what would happen.

What were your plans for yourself and Peter?

I had him fostered for six weeks because I had nowhere at that time.

The place that I was supposed to move into wasn't ready.

-Did you visit him regularly?

-Oh, yes.

I went every week.

I used to go, I think it was a Friday.

I was only allowed once a week.

And then, when I did move in, it was one room in this mother and baby cum battered wives home.

There was men coming in all hours of the night and doors slamming and screaming and-- Was Peter with you when you were in that house?

Yes.

I used to be afraid to leave him in the room while I go downstairs.

-So, not a good environment for an infant?

-No.

I really was in a bad situation.

I had no money.

I couldn't afford to feed myself and feed him at the same time.

The baby came first.

So, I took the one option that I could and that was to have him adopted.

-How old was he?

-About nine months.

-So he was with you for all those months?

-Yes.

Had there been any chance at all, he would still be with me today.

That's going to be incredible for him to know because he had a sense of abandonment and he had problems with drink and drugs.

-Sorry.

-No.

Is he okay now?

[Nicky] He's in a really good place now.

The important thing for him is to know that this was not a decision that you took lightly, to give him away.

-That's what he needs to know.

-Oh, well, it wasn't.

I think giving him up after nine months was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.

I've got a photograph of him now for you.

Okay.

I can imagine it's him as a baby.

[sighs] No matter what words I can say, I can never tell him how sorry I am.

[Davina] Before we tell Peter that we've found his mother... our second search comes from North Wales where, 64 years ago, a young boy's sister simply vanished from his life.

The memories of Christine that I have are just memories of instances.

In this photograph, Christine is just behind, holding on to me on a rocking horse.

Was really, really happy together.

But then, all of a sudden, Christine wasn't there and there was only me.

She'd gone.

Before she disappeared from his life, Ron Williams and his younger sister Christine grew up with their grandparents in Llanrwst in North Wales.

I just accepted that, you know, that I lived with me grandparents.

Uh... my mum came into...

I saw her just now and again.

Ron's mother Myra had divorced twice and had both Ron and Christine out of wedlock between her two marriages.

Within the local community, Myra was the subject of gossip and persecution.

[Ron] It must have been a terrible time for her really because of all the rumors and the stigma and everything else that she was going through.

That's why Christine and I were with our grandparents.

Here we are.

Ron's returning to visit their old home, over 60 years since he lived here with his sister.

[Ron] I mean, the two of us together, Christine and myself, we did have our little unit.

I remember holding her hand.

Being told off for the same things.

On one occasion, we were just swinging, you know, how you do when you hold on to the end of the table and you're both swinging away.

And all of a sudden, the cloth's came off, brought all the crockery down on us and smashed on the floor.

We just... up, out here, out of the front, out of that back door there.

We used to run to the wall and sit, watching whoever passed, both of us eating our ice cream.

It was bliss really, whenever I think back.

Yeah, absolute bliss.

They were good times, but that's my last memory of her.

But when Ron was six and Christine four, their grandmother became ill and everything changed.

[Ron] And I was sent away to live with my mum in a small valley.

It was in "the back of beyond," as we say.

That's where we lived, the building there.

But as the weeks passed, it became clear to Ron that Christine would not be joining him.

I was introduced as Ronnie, and they always used to say, "Oh, are you just an only child?"

My mum would always say yes, but I knew I wasn't.

It was very lonely at times.

I missed that closeness of doing things together really.

I started thinking, I wonder where Christine is, you know, why she wasn't there.

But because my mum never talked about Christine, I never questioned anything.

It was only when Ron was 14 that his mother told him what had happened to his sister.

[Ron] She just said that Christine had been adopted.

She did say that she just couldn't cope at the time with persecution and everything that was happening to her, and sadly Christine had to go and, uh, "We wanted you."

It made me feel terrible and guilty.

I was kept and she wasn't.

For years, Ron has struggled with the choice his mother made.

With only his childhood memories of Christine to hold on to, his family know how important it is for him to find his sister.

My grandad is just the loveliest, sweetest, kindest man you could ever, ever come across, but you can see he's really struggled without Christine in his life.

It's always been on his mind.

[Ron] As you get older, you just wanna put things right.

I can't apologize on behalf of my mum really because it's her... it was her decision, wasn't it?

Nothing to do with... with Christine or myself.

But I'd like to be able to see Christine again.

I really miss her.

Christine was adopted when she was four years old, so it was unlikely that her name would have been changed.

What we needed was her new surname.

Because of the need to protect the identity of adopted children, the only way we could do this was by working with an adoption support agency.

Eventually, we were told that her Christian name had been kept the same: Christine.

And her new surname was Bingley.

She'd also been given a very unusual Welsh middle name: Siriol.

There was no trace of a Christine Siriol Bingley in Wales.

So records were searched throughout the UK.

A marriage was found for a Christine Siriol Bingley to a Richard Robertson in London, 1965.

But further searches for this couple, in this country, drew a blank.

So, where had they gone?

It was at this point that Christine's middle name became key.

A search worldwide for a Christine Robertson would have led to thousands of possibilities.

Christine Siriol Robertson was a different case altogether.

In the English-speaking countries searched, there was only one, in New Zealand.

Christine was contacted and agreed to meet me.

Thanks very much.

She lives in Paraparaumu Beach on the North Island, having emigrated with her New Zealander husband nearly 40 years ago.

Ron has vivid memories of his sister, Christine.

He grew up with her till he was six years old.

But will she remember her brother?

And how will she feel about the fact that he was kept, while she was given up for adoption?

-Christine?

-Hello, Nicky.

-We've found you!

-Lovely to see you.

-How are you?

-Nice to meet you.

-You too!

-Very good, thank you.

-[Nicky] Thank you.

-Come up.

When you found out that your brother Ron was looking for you, what was your initial reaction?

I just couldn't believe it, no.

Uh... just incredible that, after all these years, that, you know, I might find... someone that sort of, uh... belonged to me or was a part of me.

Mm.

-Belonged to you?

-Yes.

-Do you remember your brother?

-I remember-- I always knew I had a brother, so I remembered him.

I've just got sort of two or three camera shots really, um, so just, you know, an image.

I remember the two of us running over a bridge, one of these old sort of stone type bridges, and I always remember that his name began with an "R." I've got some photographs that might jog your memory.

This is a photograph of the two of you playing on a rocking horse.

[Christine] So, that's me?

-You're the little one.

-The little one here.

[Nicky] You're the little one, yeah.

Your birth mother, Myra, is on the left.

Her name was Myra?

Ahh.

-And so that's Ron?

-Mm-hmm.

Oh!

-Sorry.

-No, don't worry.

It's just so sad I haven't got any more memories of him.

And of course, you, just one day, disappeared from his life and he felt a sense of emptiness without you.

-Right.

-'Cause he was six.

-Yes, so just that much older.

-Yeah.

-Big difference, actually, between four and six.

-It is.

That must have been awful, just for me to disappear.

Were you told why you were adopted?

The only explanation that I got, that I can remember, is that my mother couldn't look after me anymore, for some reason.

Did you think over the years, "Well, my brother wasn't put up for adoption and I was"?

No, I've never been resentful.

Maybe he's got many memories that, uh, hopefully he'll be able to share.

Oh, and he's written you this letter.

[Christine] "Dear Christine, looking back, I have a few recollections of our childhood together: playing in the backyard and going to school together.

Then one day you were no longer with us.

After a while, I was told you had been adopted.

I just cannot imagine how you felt, or even feel now, especially the fact that you had been abandoned by our mother.

It was not our fault that we were separated.

Brothers and sisters should not be apart.

Love Ronnie, your brother."

Two kisses.

Oh, it's just a wonderful letter.

Well, I've got another photograph here.

-Your brother.

-Oh, look!

Oh, that's wonderful.

He looks lovely.

Oh, I can't wait to meet him.

[laughs] [Davina] Thirty-nine-year-old carpenter Peter Gunn has spent years unable to cope with the decision his birth mother made to give him up for adoption.

We've traced his birth mother, Daphne, living in her hometown in Ireland.

The fact that I can tell Peter that Daphne's been found means that finally he'll be able to hear her side of the story and maybe put the past to rest.

-Hey, Peter, how are you doing?

-Hi, Davina, how are you?

-You all right?

-Very good, thank you.

Come in.

[Davina] Thank you.

I completely understand those feelings of abandonment.

I think sometimes in my life I've felt very similar to you.

So, what's the need in you to find your birth mother?

Um, I feel as though she did have the choice, but yet gave me up anyway.

So, I'd love to meet her and I'd love to just sit down and talk to her and find out the truth behind why she put me up for adoption.

Well, we have found your mum.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Is she well?

-Yeah, she is.

Thanks.

That really is amazing.

-Is she willing to meet?

-She is.

That's amazing!

[Davina] There's so much to tell you, really.

When she left hospital, they couldn't find anywhere for you and her together, so you did get put into foster care at that point.

But you were only there for six weeks.

-You went back to your mum.

-Really?

Yeah.

And you were with her till you were nine months old.

Really?

I didn't know that, I really didn't.

Oh, wow!

I had no idea I was with her that long.

No.

This was not a choice that your mum wanted to make.

-Her dad was very strict, Methodist.

-Okay.

And she knew that she couldn't go back to Ireland, you know.

It was really hand to mouth.

She just thought that the best thing for you would be to take you somewhere where you could have the best things in life.

I was with her for nine months?

-[Davina] Mm.

-That must have been so hard for her to... to hand me to somebody else.

But she did that unselfishly.

Well, she's thought about you nonstop.

Oh, wow!

Would you like to see a picture?

-Yeah.

Have you got one?

-Yeah.

That's your mum.

Oh, wow!

Yeah.

I've got something else for you as well.

"Dear Peter, for all of these years I have waited and hoped, prayed for this day.

Although I married and had two further wonderful children, I always felt a void in my heart for the baby I had to give up.

I am so excited..." So am I!

"...nervous and apprehensive to have this opportunity to meet you and sincerely hope we can build, get to know each other and have a bright future."

Just to know that she wants to be a part of my life is phenomenal, and I can't, I just can't wait for it to start.

I really can't.

[Miriam] That's it.

Yes.

I've got some news: they've found Daphne.

Oh, Peter!

I'm so pleased for you.

-Well pleased.

-Oh, so am I, very, very pleased for you.

-[Peter] I've got a photograph.

-[Miriam] Oh, look!

Isn't that lovely?

I want to meet her.

-[Peter] Just means the family grows, Mum.

-Happy.

[Miriam] I feel very happy for him.

I'd like them to meet.

I feel very grateful that I've got her son, and I feel very happy that she had him.

Oh, I'm so pleased for you, darling.

I really am, that's wonderful.

Today, Peter will be reunited with his birth mother, Daphne, in the town where he was born: Bedford.

-Good luck.

-Cheers, Mum.

He's travelled to meet her with his adoptive mother, Miriam.

-Hey, Peter!

How are you?

-Hi.

I'm good.

You?

Yeah, good.

Right, let's go.

Daphne has returned to Bedford for the first time since she gave Peter up for adoption, 39 years ago.

[Nicky] Here we are.

How are you feeling?

[Daphne] Bag of nerves.

[laughs] [Nicky] You know what you said to me in Arklow, that this has been the most terrible guilt trip, that's what you said.

-Yeah.

-Is that over?

No, not until I speak to Peter about it.

I think he needs to know how I felt and why I did what I did.

[Davina] Peter and Daphne are going to meet in a park, close to where they lived together for his first nine months.

[Davina] What do you think you need to hear from Daphne today?

I just feel as though I'm restless in a way because I'm not complete, and I'm hoping to hear that she wants me to be in her life.

-[sighs] -All right?

Yeah.

[Nicky] So, this is it.

Yeah.

Thank you for everything.

Thank you.

-[Davina] How are you feeling now?

-[Peter] I'm all right.

I'm calm, but I'm all butterflies inside and... Yeah.

I'm gonna say goodbye here.

-Thank you.

-Good luck.

Cheers.

Gosh, you're 39 years old.

[Peter] You're so lovely.

[Daphne] So are you.

-Are you okay?

-Yeah.

You sit there.

It's so lovely to see you, it really is!

[Daphne] I can't believe it.

There was no-- I had never had an intent, any intentions of having you adopted.

Never!

I kept you as long as I could.

Had I been able to bring you home, you would have been with me.

-Can't tell you how much that means.

-I couldn't do it.

That was the only way that you could get a decent life, was being with somebody else.

You were far from abandoned.

And for what I did, I don't think I'll ever be forgiven for what I did.

There's nothing to forgive.

You tried, and the fact that I know that you tried means so much to me now because I didn't, I didn't think you had.

-Oh, yeah, I had.

-And now there's nothing-- -I would have done anything.

-There is nothing to forgive.

-There really isn't.

-And they told me that you did have problems -when you were around 18.

-Yeah.

I'm sorry.

That was then and this is now.

Yeah.

-And now we can start something and we can... -Hopefully.

[Peter] Yeah.

Just to hold him once, after so long, was absolutely brilliant.

It's something that I have kept down deep within me for a long time, I was able to get to the surface.

[Peter] To know that she really wanted to keep me, that feels, that feels so good.

-This is Daphne.

-[Daphne] Hello.

-Hello.

-Hi.

Oh, I'm so pleased to meet you.

I'm pleased to meet you.

Thank you for our son.

And thank you for looking after him.

[Peter] I don't have any feelings of rejection now.

I've got two mums that want me, and they want me in their lives, and that's fantastic.

I don't need anything else now.

[Davina] For more than 60 years, Ron Williams has been searching for the sister that their mother gave up for adoption.

She was found living nearly 12,000 miles away in New Zealand.

Ron has treasured memories of his brief childhood that he spent with his little sister, Christine.

And I'm on my way to tell him that he can finally share those memories with her and, at last, they can be together again.

[doorbell rings] -Hiya, Ron!

-Hello.

-How you doing?

-I'm fine.

And yourself?

-Nice to meet you.

-And you.

Come in.

[Davina] Thank you.

I'll just lead you through.

[Davina] Thank you.

So, this is such a big thing for you, -looking for your sister.

-Yeah.

Thinking back to what's happened to both of us, she went one way, I, I went another way.

And, of course I'm getting older now.

I just thought missing, I've missed all... all those years.

Well, Ron, we've found her.

Oh, God!

Sorry.

Is she still alive?

She is still alive.

I'm sorry.

Don't apologize.

Oh, grief!

[sniffles] She's in New Zealand.

-Oh, my goodness me.

-Yeah.

She fell in love and married a New Zealander.

Blooming heck!

Did she know she had a brother?

Yes, she does.

What she remembers about you is just snippets.

She knew your name began with an "R," and she had one memory of you, running across a stone bridge?

-It's the only one there.

-Oh, there's only one?

Yeah.

A stone bridge, yes, yeah.

Do you want to see a picture of her?

There's your sister.

-She's got the same lines as me.

-[Davina] Yeah, she looks very like you, I think.

-Oh, dear me.

-She's written something for you.

[Ron] "Dear Ron, I hope this finds you well.

It is so difficult to express how I feel since... hearing the news that you have been looking for me.

And at last I am going to be... reunited with my very own brother.

It's just wonderful!

It's so many years since we have seen each other.

I have to reassure you that I have never felt abandoned."

Oh.

"I am so looking forward to meeting you and any family you might have and hopefully, making up for lost years.

So, until we meet, your sister, love Chris."

Oh, she's still called Chris.

What does it mean to you to hear from her, that she doesn't feel abandoned?

I don't know, it's like I feel relieved.

It's a big weight.

A huge, a huge weight has been lifted.

Absolutely fantastic!

I can't stop looking at her.

[laughs] [birds singing] [Davina] It's the morning of Ron's reunion with his sister, Christine.

[Ron] This last week, I've been going to bed at night and then I've been saying, "Only three more sleeps," and then last night, "One more sleep!"

That was it.

I woke up this morning, "No more!"

Christine has made the journey from New Zealand to North Wales, where she spent her early childhood.

[Christine] I'm just so looking forward to meeting Ron and just wanting to know all about him and what happened to him after we were separated.

Christine and Ron will meet at the stone bridge in Llanrwst, where Christine has her only memory of her brother.

[Christine] We were running over the bridge together.

He was ahead of me and he stopped and waited for me to catch up.

I can sort of hardly believe that I'm here and that, uh... and that we might be together on it.

Just want her to know that it was none of our faults, it wasn't, you know.

The two of us to hopefully, you know, even at this late stage in life, that we can start again.

My mind's all over the place.

I can't wait just to get over that bridge and meet my sister, after all this... after all this time.

-Lovely to see you.

-And you too.

Thank you for coming over.

It's just wonderful, after all these years.

It's a very long time.

Would you like a cup of tea then?

-Oh, all right.

-[laughs] [Ron] Oh, dear me!

So, did you have a good childhood?

Yes.

I think the first few years were, um... were sort of pretty up and down.

Very soon after being adopted... -Right.

-...my father died.

-Um, and so... -Grief!

My adopted mother, Nancy, her name was Nancy.

And she was, yeah, she was wonderful.

For years, I've...

I've felt guilty, really guilty, you know, that you was living adopted and I was, I was saved by my mum.

-And... -You can't do that.

Grief!

You can't take on somebody else's guilt.

-No.

-Just things happened.

-Um, and we've got to... -Yes.

-Yeah, we had no control over it, did we?

-No.

Absolutely.

Nothing at all.

I'm glad, you know, really glad that your, your childhood was okay.

-But you're here now.

-Yes.

-Yes.

And you're here now.

-Yeah.

We'll have to pick up where we haven't had a chance to... -Yeah, there's loads really.

-There is.

[Ron] For years, every time I thought of Christine, the guilt was there, and it's just been lifted.

[Christine] The memories that Ron can share with me now, just, just wonderful.

And my memory of you is on this bridge.

So, it's a very special bridge.

Yeah.

Ah, it's been 64 years since I last saw my sister and I've finally got her back.

Next time on "Long Lost Family"... a woman has no one in the world she's related to.

There was nobody in the past, there was nobody in the future, there was just me.

And a woman haunted for years by a family tragedy.

My fear is my sister may blame me for our mother's death.

[peaceful music playing]