[Davina] For thousands of people across Britain, someone is missing from their lives.

[woman] I just want to know, did you think about me?

Have I been in your thoughts?

Have you tried looking for me?

[woman 2] I don't deserve children.

I gave one away, how could I?

How could I?

She was asleep and I walked out.

And I've never seen her since.

Finding someone when the trail's gone cold can feel like an impossible task, but that's where we step in... Father and grandfather on the same day.

It's crazy.

...offering a last chance to people desperate for help.

[woman] Oh, I can't believe it!

Oh, my goodness!

With no idea where our searches will lead, we've travelled the world, uncovering family secrets and finding people that no one else has been able to trace.

[man] Oh, that's her.

She did not deserve this.

[Davina] And finally, answering the questions that have haunted entire lives.

Oh, it's me.

Oh, wonderful to see you.

This week, two stories of lives consumed by regret.

A son desperate to know if his father cares.

I want him to know that I exist.

I want him to be proud of what I've done.

And a mother who needs to find her daughter before it's too late.

[woman] I've never cried as much for anybody else.

Oh, I do cry and I weep, yeah.

But not like I did then.

[dramatic music playing] Our first search is on behalf of a son who's spent his life hoping one day to make his father proud.

[bell ringing] [indistinct chatter] Jab!

One, two!

Jab!

[man] Growing up in the environment I grew up in, it was a very disjointed family.

And I never thought I would do anything that people could be proud of.

And that was my aim in life, to better what I had growing up.

And I've done that.

I just want my dad to see, and I need to find him and ask that question.

I want to know if he's proud of me.

[contemplative music playing] Forty-five-year-old John Farrell is a catering manager and army reservist.

[bell ringing] In his spare time, he runs a boxing club for local kids in his home town of Bootle.

He still lives a few streets away from where he grew up with his mother and the man he believed was his father.

[John] We didn't do the things that some dads do, like go to the park.

We didn't tend to go watch football.

It tended to be none of that, really.

As I was growing up, I felt that there was something different.

For some reason, something didn't quite fit.

It was when John was 13 that he discovered why.

[John] My mum said something to my dad, and I thought, "I wonder why she said that."

So then that, that prompted me to ask the question, "Well, you know, is he my dad?"

And it was like, well, no.

The bottom falls out a little bit.

You're going through a teenage time, your emotions are all over the place.

Yeah, I was thinking, well, maybe that's why I feel distant.

Me mum's like, "Well, do you want to know who your dad is?"

And I was like, "No, I'm not interested because he's left me."

John married in 1990.

[woman] Okay, last one.

Last one, good girl.

And...

Since becoming a family man himself, he's come to realize the importance of having a father.

When I had children, I wanted to be the best that I could.

I wanted to be part of their lives.

I wanted to be a role model to look up to.

In a way, all the things I didn't have.

Push?

With your finger.

[John] Having the children changed the way I looked at it.

I thought, well, I think it's time for me now to look and find my father because I need to.

Not long after his first daughter was born more than 20 years ago, John began his search, starting with his mum.

She told him his father was a former soldier named Cyril and that he had been married to another woman at the time of his birth.

Said it was a relationship that shouldn't have happened, and I was the resulting factor.

[laughs] And just that, you know, overall he was a good man.

His mother went on to tell him that Cyril's marriage broke down because of the affair and that John had two half siblings, Gerrard and Lisa.

But despite this information, John could find no trace of his father.

In 2011, John served with the Territorial Army in Afghanistan.

To be serving my country, to put that uniform on every day and go and do the job that we were doing made me proud.

On his homecoming, John and his comrades were given a hero's welcome.

Everyone wanted to shake your hand, strangers, pat you on the back.

It'd be nice to know that he looked at me and thought, "You've turned out well."

The medal was probably one of the proudest moments of my life.

Maybe one day I'll sit there and open it and show my dad and say that, you know, "That's what I got for serving my country."

I want him to know that I exist.

I want him to be proud of what I've done.

John's search for his father Cyril has been hindered by his surname, Smith.

With a common surname like that, where do you start?

But in this case we did know that Cyril had been married with two children.

If we could find them, they could lead us to their father.

We made a breakthrough when we found a birth certificate for a child, Lisa, born in 1966 to a Cyril and Brenda Smith.

We also discovered a birth certificate for a second child, Gerrard, born two and a half years later to the same couple.

We were sure we had found the right family.

Further checks revealed two more daughters born after Gerrard and Lisa.

From public records, we found Lisa living in the Manchester area.

We contacted her and she confirmed she was Cyril's eldest daughter.

She also told us that her father had died in 2005.

For years John has been longing for a father to be proud of him.

Sadly, our discovery that Cyril died nearly ten years ago means that's something that will never happen.

But I'm hoping that his brother and sisters at least knew about him and will be able to offer him some comfort that their dad would have wanted him as part of his life.

Lisa agreed to meet me, along with her brother Gerrard and Cyril's youngest daughter Kelsey.

-Hello.

-Are you Lisa?

-Yes.

-How are you doing?

-How are you doing?

-Very well, thank you.

-Come in.

-Thank you.

Obviously the news that your father Cyril is dead is going to be absolutely shattering for John.

-Yeah.

-What was it like for you losing him, Kelsey?

It was heartbreaking because I was only 15 when me dad died.

It's hard, but, you know, then I've got, like, nice memories and stuff, so... Tell me about him, what was he like, your dad?

He was always there for me, you know.

Sorted that out.

"This is how you sort that out," so...

He was a family man, he liked his kids.

We had a lot of happy times with him.

-He was a good dad, he was there for us.

-Yeah.

And I think he would have liked to have been there for John as well.

So that's why we're here.

Did you know about him?

I remember having a conversation with my dad about it.

I said, "Have you got a son?"

and he said, "Yeah."

He said he had.

I remember him saying, "Yeah, I'd love to see him."

But it's a bit too late now.

I know he would have wanted to, though, I could tell, in the way the conversation was going, that he wanted, he would have liked to... What made you think that?

If you can... Well, just because he's my dad and a family man.

He was a family man.

[Kelsey] He might have felt scared about being rejected by him.

He must have thought, "Oh, he's happy," and don't want to just come barging into his life and stuff.

Yeah, he definitely, definitely would have wanted to meet him.

-Can I see a picture of him?

Have you got one?

-[Lisa] Yeah, yeah.

[Nicky] A good-looking fella.

[Lisa] He's handsome.

[Kelsey] That one is when he was in the army.

So he must have been about, like, 20 there?

Yeah.

[Nicky] John has served in Afghanistan.

-Did he?

-[Kelsey] Has he?

It's amazing the way that he's never met him and didn't know him but he has followed in his footsteps.

When he came back from Afghanistan and he had his service medal, he wanted Dad to be proud of him.

[Kelsey] He would have been proud of him, wouldn't have he?

-Oh, he'd be chuffed to bits.

-Yeah.

That would have just been... amazing for him, I think.

Yeah.

Oh, my God!

[Lisa] That's really uncanny.

He looks more like me dad than we do.

I think he has actually got me dad's eyes, you know?

Yeah?

-It's lovely.

-[Lisa] It is.

You think, when he finds out me dad's passed, you think he'll want to meet us?

-Yeah?

-Of course he will.

-Yeah?

-Not just because you're a link to Cyril, to his dad, and you've got the same dad, but because you are his brother and his sisters.

I'm quite excited to meet him, actually, because now I know I've got, obviously, me brother out there, and he's older than me, now, so I think, got someone to look up to now.

-It's going to be nice, isn't it?

-[Gerrard] Yeah.

[Davina] Out of respect to John, we will tell him of his father's death without the camera's being present.

Our second search comes from south Yorkshire and a great grandmother who needs to find her daughter before it's too late.

[clock ticking] [woman] I made me decision to have her adopted.

I thought I had done the right thing.

But I've many a time wondered.

We just hope and pray for the best.

Just hope things have gone all right.

[knock on door] Seventy-six-year-old Patricia Hart lives in a small village near Rotherham just a mile from her three daughters, seven grandchildren and two great grandchildren.

[Patricia] The family is fabulous.

My daughters all live in this village.

I know they're there if I need them.

[woman] Winner!

[family] Oh!

But there is one person missing Patricia's life: her first daughter Christine, who she chose to give up for adoption in 1959.

[Patricia] It just scares me that I'll never see her.

That is a fear, of never seeing her before I die.

[woman] She's just there all the time.

I don't think there's a day gone by when she's not thought about her or we'd spoke about her or something.

We always wonder what she's doing and where she lives and, has she got any children?

So, it would be lovely to find her.

The family, it would just be complete.

Patricia was born in 1937 in the Yorkshire colliery village of Moorends.

[Patricia] Everybody knew everybody.

Everybody knew what was going on.

My mum was a housewife.

She always had heart trouble.

She never worked.

Me dad was a miner.

He went down pit when they used a pick.

No machinery as such.

Me dad was, well... one in a million.

Oh, very kind.

Very, very kind.

He'd give you anything, give you his last.

In 1955 at the age of 17, Patricia signed up for three years in the Women's Royal Army Corps.

[Patricia] I'd never been away from home on me own.

I was all revved up, ready for going.

When I left Moorends, I was so brave.

I was so confident in myself.

I had no idea how life would change at all.

You'll be proud to serve in the Women's Royal Army Corps.

[Davina] In 1955, looking for excitement and adventure, Patricia Hart joined the Women's Royal Army Corps.

From the time it was formed in 1949, thousands of women like Patricia enlisted looking for an escape from the limitations of life at home.

[Patricia] I worked as a waitress in the officers' mess.

That was an eye opener.

First time I ever had a gin and tonic.

They had melons and I'd never seen one of them before.

[laughs] It was while stationed at a base in Hampshire that Patricia met Christine's father.

[Patricia] As soon as we met, we seemed to get on.

He was a very handsome lad.

It was definitely not just one... you know, a... casual thing, we were serious.

I thought we were serious, anyway.

But six months into their relationship, Patricia was demobbed, and she returned home to Moorends.

A few weeks later, she realized she was pregnant.

[Patricia] I used to tell the girls... "Don't give in to anybody because they'll not want you..." and look what I did.

I don't know.

I went and fell for it meself.

All I could think of were me dad.

You know, because, I mean, it were a bad thing then.

It weren't a good position to be in.

Patricia wrote to her boyfriend hoping for support but heard nothing.

Eventually, knowing she couldn't hide her pregnancy, Patricia had to tell her parents.

Me mum sat down and cried.

Me dad put his coat on and went out.

And he walked up that way, and I didn't see anything of him for a couple of hours, you know.

He just walked the streets.

Then came back.

Comforted me.

Put his arm around me.

"Everything will be all right."

They would never stop me keeping her.

They wouldn't, I know they wouldn't.

I thought, "I can't do this to me Dad."

No.

No, I weren't going to hurt him.

I just put my foot down and said, "I'm going to have her adopted."

I wanted her to have a good life.

I couldn't give her a good life.

I've regretted it ever since.

On the 31st March 1959, Patricia gave birth to a baby girl she named Christine.

She cared for her daughter for six weeks before the social worker came to take Christine away.

[Patricia] I got her dressed.

Got her carry-cot out somebody had given me.

And I put her in.

Aunty Rene said, "I will take her to the car for you," and I said, "No, I'll take her myself, because that gives me them extra minutes I'd miss."

And that's what I did.

I've never cried as much for anybody else.

Oh, I do cry and I weep, yeah.

But not like I did then.

Heartbreaking, heartbreaking.

Now, after several health scares, Patricia's need to find her daughter has become more urgent than ever.

[Patricia] I can only hope that I meet her before I die.

I'd think of her right to the end, I'm sure I would.

I've missed about 54 years of her life... and I won't like to miss any more.

Patricia has been searching for her daughter for over 30 years with no success.

Now, if we were to succeed where she failed, what we needed to know was the name that Christine was given when she was adopted.

Because the new identity of an adopted person is protected, we had to work with a specialist legally allowed to access the information we needed.

After four months, we got the news we were waiting for.

Patricia's daughter had been traced.

Now called Marion, she's married with three grown-up children and lives in Devon.

For 54 years, Patricia has lived without her daughter in her life, and as each year passes, the need to find her and explain to her why she was given up for adoption has grown stronger.

But what about Marion?

Has she ever questioned the decision her mother had made and wondered what her life would have been like if she'd grown up with Patricia?

Marion was contacted and agreed to meet me at a hotel close to where she now lives.

-Marion.

-[Marion] Hi.

-How are you?

[laughs] -Hi.

-Shall we have a cuppa?

-Yes.

Over to here.

Brilliant.

-Oh.

Good to see you.

-Yes.

So... shall we have our tea first?

-Yeah.

-I'll pour, will I?

[laughs] -Yeah.

I'll do the milk.

-[Nicky chuckles] So how old were you when you found out you were adopted?

It was either when I was 16 or 18.

Me and my mum were watching a program about it, and my mum just says, "You was adopted."

-Gosh.

-And I just went... "Oh..." But... and that was it, really?

Were you completely surprised?

No.

Because I remember when I was little, I asked my mum what day of the week I was born on, and she just went, "I can't remember something like that, it was a long time ago."

And... that was just-- I think it just makes you think even when you're little then.

Is it something that you could talk to your mum about?

No.

No, I didn't want her to think that I was going to go off and, you know, "I'm gonna find my real mum now and not bother with you," sort of thing.

I wouldn't have done that to her.

What was it like when you first heard the news that your birth mother was looking for you, that Patricia was looking for you?

It was a shock.

I mean, I have thought a lot about her.

I've not always, you know, shouted on about it, but I have thought about her a lot, at like birthdays.

There's always a couple of seconds where you think, "I wonder if she's thinking of ya," you know?

But... at least now I know that she was, so that's nice.

You don't want to get too excited just in case, you know, because the last time they saw you you were a little baby, so you don't know if they're going to like ya.

So, I think this would be... this might be a... an indication.

[Marion] "I hope, after many attempts to find you, that this time I will be lucky.

I need to tell you the reason I had you adopted.

It was the worst day of my life when the adoption people came to pick you up.

I hope we do meet one day as you've always been in my heart.

Lots of love, Mum."

She does look nice.

Got a nice smile.

[Nicky] Patricia didn't want to meet her maker without having met you.

I just don't want her to be disappointed.

[Nicky] She's going to absolutely adore you.

-Gonna have to wait till it happens.

-I promise, I promise you.

[Davina] John Farrell came to us in the hope we would find his father, but our search revealed that he had died in 2005.

We've told John of his father's death without the cameras being present.

For years John longed to make his father proud, and sadly that's now something he knows he'll never be able to do.

But we've found his brothers and sisters and they're going to be able to reassure him that undoubtedly his father would be so proud of the man that John's become.

-Hey, John.

-Hello.

-How are you doing?

-Good.

-Nice to see you.

-And you.

-Want to come in?

-Yes, please.

Thank you.

I'm really sorry that we couldn't bring you better news.

But how have you been feeling since then?

It's, uh... Hmm, it's hard.

You know, it's a long time to wait for nothing, I suppose, in a way.

But it's not nothing because now I know.

One of the observations I would have liked to look for is, "Am I anything like him?

Do I look like him, does he look like me?"

[Davina] I want to show you something.

That's your dad.

[John exhales sharply] Wow.

He's got my mouth.

[Davina] He has.

[John] He looks smart.

[Davina] I've also got this picture of him.

I do look like him.

-Can I keep them?

-Of course you can.

We got those pictures from your siblings.

Wow, and how are they?

-They're good.

-Mm-hmm.

They're good.

They really, really want to meet you.

-Do they?

-Yeah.

Were you too worried to ask?

I didn't know...

I didn't know whether they would.

-They all do.

-Mm-hmm.

They've written something for you.

"Hi, John.

I would just like to tell you how sorry we are that you didn't get to meet your dad before he died.

He was fun to be around with his jokes that made no sense but made us laugh anyway.

Dad mentioned you to me and our Ged on a number of occasions over the years.

We are all very pleased and excited to find out you are doing this search and can't wait to meet you.

I know Dad will be thrilled that you have been searching for him.

He told me once that he didn't want to rock the boat in trying to find you and he wished he had seen you... seen you growing up...

He felt it was too late.

Anyway, I'm sure you have lots of questions for us all, which we would love to answer.

All our love, Lisa, Ged, Kirsty and Kelsey."

-You okay?

-Hmm.

One sort of door shuts but another will open.

And...

It's not what I wanted, but it's more than I expected.

Thank you.

Three days after hearing the news that his brother and sisters want to see him, John will be meeting them for the first time.

Lisa, Ged and Kelsey have travelled to Sefton Park in Liverpool where they will meet their brother.

[Nicky] Imagine how John's feeling right now.

[Lisa] Oh, he must be...

There's three of us, isn't there?

Yeah.

It takes my breath away, a little bit, 'cause I don't really know what to say.

I'm just hoping I say the right things.

I'm not sure what to say, to be honest, it's... -Quite scared.

-[Nicky] Are you?

It's a new chapter for us all, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

[contemplative music playing] -[Davina] Hey!

How's things?

-Good.

Let's go.

[Davina] How are you feeling?

-[John] Tense, really emotional.

-Yeah.

Lots of thoughts going through my head, is it going to work out?

[Davina] And do you feel like a big brother?

No.

Not really.

I've never been a big brother, so it's really strange.

And...

I've never had an older sister so that will be quite good as well.

You're going to meet John in there so I'm going to say goodbye here.

-All right?

Okay?

-Okay, yeah.

[laughs] -Well, hug or shake?

-Both.

[women laughing] -Okay.

Good luck.

-Okay, thank you.

[peaceful music playing] [Davina] So I'm going to leave you here because your brother and sisters are in there.

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

-Hi.

-Hello.

-Pleased to meet you.

Hello.

-Pleased to meet you.

Yeah.

[indistinct chatter] All right, brother.

Oh, that sounds strange to say.

-Hi.

-Hello.

[indistinct chatter] It's a lot to take in.

It's like massive emotions all at once, you know.

Sadness, happy... exciting.

-You know, surreal.

-Isn't it like a dream?

[Kelsey] Before you came in, I said, "It feels like a dream."

-Yeah.

-All I see when I'm looking at you is my dad.

It's like the nose and mouth.

You've even got his eyes.

You've got my dad's bone structure and everything.

It sounds weird, you're looking like... Yeah?

That's, you know, really nice to know.

I just feel really bad that we didn't try and find you because my dad told us about you.

We just didn't want to rock the boat.

-We thought... -Yeah, and do you know what?

No, I don't feel like that at all.

I'm just a bit sorry that it didn't happen a lot sooner.

-Yeah, we are.

-Through life, I've obviously done many things and I think all the time I've only ever questioned meself that... you know, did...

If he was around, you know... would he have been proud of me?

-[Lisa] Yeah.

-[Gerrard and Lisa] Absolutely.

You know, when I knew he wasn't around anymore, it hit me because I'll never speak to him.

It hit me more because I couldn't ask him.

You know, but...

I'm glad he was... All I ever wanted was to think that he...

He would have been proud because I'm proud of you meself, being in the army, all the boxing and stuff.

-You know, so... -Thank you.

I appreciate that.

My life will never be the same from today onwards.

-It's amazing, isn't it?

-Yeah.

It's... -It's strange.

-It'll be fine.

Yeah, it'll be fine, it'll be fine... [John] I get a greater feeling of kind of knowing who he was now.

It's a weird feeling to think that I feel close to someone that I've never met.

Well, what we'll have to do is arrange some times to meet up and do some things...

He seems like a really great person and... obviously he's got similarities of my dad.

I just couldn't stop looking at him.

Yeah, I just thought... is he dad?

[laughs] He does look like me dad.

You'll be knocking on the door...

I'm proud of him, and my dad would have been proud of him as well.

-So... -We all are.

Yep.

To feel that, in all them years, that I was wondering what he was doing and where he was and was he thinking about me...

I now know he was.

He talked about me.

He had to be proud to talk about me.

That knot that you've had in your stomach for so long is now gone.

[Davina] Seventy-five-year-old Patricia Hart has lived with the regret of giving up her first daughter for adoption for over 50 years.

But we found Patricia's daughter living with her family in Devon.

The possibility that she might never find her daughter is something that she's had to live with for decades, and as each year passes, that fear never fades, but today I'm able to tell Patricia that it's not too late, she's going to get to see her once again.

-Patricia.

Hi.

-Hey.

-How are you doing?

-All right, thank you.

-Come in.

-Yeah, thank you.

So tell me why it's important to you to find Christine?

I just want to see that she had a good life and got on all right, been treated well.

I'm getting older and she's getting older.

Time runs out, don't it?

And is that what you're worried about?

[Patricia] Mm-hmm.

Yes, I don't want it to run out.

I'd like to see her.

Patricia, your daughter's been found.

Oh, no!

You're joking.

Oh!

And is she all right?

Oh, the relief in that.

Your daughter's name now is Marion.

Oh, that's a nice name.

She's written a few words.

"I hope you are well.

I'm very pleased that you tried to find me.

I want you to know that I've never had any bad thoughts or feelings..." That's good.

Thank you.

"...towards you, and I understand why you did what you did.

I always believe everything happens for a reason, and if my life had been different, then I would not be where I am today.

I've been married to Roger now for 31 years and have three wonderful children.

They all know about you and would like to meet you."

Bring it on.

"So, see you soon.

With love, Marion."

That's lovely.

Can I keep that?

-I've got a photo.

-Really?

There you go.

[Patricia] Oh!

Look at her hair.

-[Davina] Yeah.

-Oh, bless.

She's lovely.

I'm glad to know that she... doesn't hate me for what I did.

That's a big relief to me.

Now I'm... -[woman] Hey, Mum.

-[Patricia] Hey, old girl.

How are you doing?

[kisses] [family gasps] -They found her then?

-Mm.

[indistinct chatter] [laughing and crying] It's the morning of Patricia's reunion with her daughter Marion, who she last saw as a six-week-old baby.

[Patricia] I should think she's as nervous as I am.

At the moment, yeah.

I just can't wait to get hold of her and give her a big hug.

Patricia is meeting her daughter in a park near to the hospital where she gave birth to her.

-[Davina] Morning, Patricia.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-Fine, thank you.

Good.

Let's go.

Come this way.

-[inhales sharply] -[Davina laughs] Marion has travelled up from Devon to meet her mother.

There you are.

-How are you?

-Hi.

-Shall we?

-Yep.

How are you feeling now?

A bit giddy.

[laughs] -A bit giddy?

-Yeah.

[Davina] What do you think you're going to say?

I don't know, I'm just gonna keep holding her.

So...

I'm going to leave you here.

You go to the bandstand, and Marion will come and meet you there.

All right.

Thank you.

[Davina] Right.

[chuckles] [Patricia sobs] [Marion] I'm getting really nervous now.

-[Nicky] Are you?

-Yeah.

Imagine how she's feeling.

It takes a lot of courage to do this.

I know.

She must be...

It's a lot closer for you.

-I know.

-You're just a few steps away.

Kind of the moment of truth, isn't it?

-Yep.

Just a bit.

-This is it.

-"Just a bit."

-[laughs] -Very nervous now.

-Good Luck.

[laughs] Thank you.

Bless you!

Bless you!

Bless you!

A long wait.

Yeah.

Let's go into the café, it is cold.

I'm so pleased, I can't tell you how pleased I am.

I've always loved you, and I always will.

It's true.

Every time I thought of you, I have.

No doubts about that.

I'm glad you did not turn around and say, "On your bike, missus."

-[laughs] -No.

[Patricia] Once you've bonded with your baby, I don't think you ever lose that.

Well, I don't feel as if I had.

I've always had that feeling I'm close to her, you know?

So, how many children have you got now?

-Three girls... -Three girls.

-Four girls!

-Four girls.

[Marion] I was worried that I wouldn't feel anything, but as soon as I seen her, and... it just felt good.

[indistinct chatter] [Patricia] I'm still in a bubble.

I feel younger, actually.

[laughing] I don't know why.

I feel younger.

"Happier" is probably-- that's the word.

Happier.

Mm-hmm.

[peaceful music playing]