I had an e-mail and it said congratulations you have been selected to be on the team of the North Pole expedition, all women North Pole expedition.

So I read it and then I read it once and I closed it and then opened it again just to make sure that e-mail was still there.

Obviously so cold you won't be able to take the gloves off.

Minus 40.

So how will you cope, Misba?

You need to take a hot water bottle into bed.

I might just do that, you know.

What was the story about when you went the wrong way down the motorway?

Don't let Misba navigate the team, you'll end up in South Pole.

We're trying to inspire other women, empower other women and show them that we can...

So we can't inspire other men, empower other men?

But men always go though, we should involve men and women.

How many men have been to the North Pole?

It's always men that does adventures.

What is that like all the ... Don't you think it's always men that do adventures?

So I want to create the difference.

Yeah?

Good.

Good.

Good on you.

I need to do something to remind myself this is me, this is what I can do.

I can't talk about the North Pole without talking about climate change.

The truth of every person comes out no matter how hard they try to keep it in because you'll be in the harshest conditions.

Natures give me peace.

It's like conditioning, you know for the soul.

As a journalist, rule number one is be curious, be open minded.

I will be the first Saudi woman to ski to the North Pole The North Pole, who would have thought the North Pole, you know, this is like, the North Pole?

The polar world has been my life for most of my adult life.

But I've never skied to the North Pole.

I could go for an expedition myself, but it would feel like a bit of a hollow victory unless there was something deeper.

Every good expedition runs off of chocolate.

And then we have the toilet tissue, very important.

And there's a lesson that I learned the hard way that I can now pass on to the rest of the team.

You have to be very careful when you're using these tissues, which are really useful to use as toilet paper.

But you have to make sure they're not the menthol kind.

That's bad news.

[ Chatter ] It's amazing how often when people ask me about trips, you know, what was the scariest moment?

What was the best moment?

It's amazing how often they are one in the same moment.

I remember being on my own in Antarctica and it was a really horrible day.

You couldn't see anything.

It was a total whiteout.

I might as well have been in a capsule in space because it felt like the whole of civilization was just a fairy story that I've been told and it was all a lie.

There was nothing out there.

I was crying in my goggles, which was then freezing on the back on my goggles.

Oh, god.

I couldn't see anything anyway.

It was just an absolute nightmare of a day.

And then there was another part of my brain that was going, "Wow, look at this!

You're in the middle of Antarctica by yourself skiing!

You're a polar explorer!

This is incredible!

This is everything you ever dreamed of as a kid.

This is amazing."

This project is all about having an adventure.

But it's also about the cultural experiment.

I wanted to put together an expedition that brings together women from the Arab world and the West.

It wasn't just trying to pick people that I thought were great, that I thought I could fit well with.

It was trying to get the right mix.

And also, I'm very aware that if you put too many similar characters together, that's a recipe for disaster, that's never going to work.

As you take a walk around the tent in a minute and just have a look.

Now you've got four people, you've got all the poles in, and you just pull out the tent so that it's nice and straight.

When I got the first call from Felicity, I suppose she was trying to filter out the people who would be fearful.

She's like, "We're going to the North Pole, there's going to be polar bears, it's going to be stupidly cold, there's going to be ice below you.

There's no solid ground."

She gave us the worst-case scenario.

And I was like, yes, yes, yes, yes.

That was four minutes.

All right.

That's pressed on, let's go.

We're just looking for the best way to that waterfall.

I'll be very open about this.

When Felicity said it's all-woman expedition, I'm like, oh, that's going to be tough.

And I was terrified of this.

I've had maybe two female friends my entire life and I'm not very good with women.

Women, I feel, have a lot more drama connected to them.

And I am not very emotionally involved with people.

You know technically, we don't necessarily have to get to the waterfall.

[Indistinct].

This will be the most difficult part for me, especially in a stressful situation.

How do you know... How do you know which one is left and which one is right?

you guys are tent mates for the whole trip?

Yes.

So why are you doing this?

For the money.

[laughter] For the money.

I think the all-woman aspect.

I think, like, when women come together, there's something really powerful.

So today we've done the skiing.

The hardest thing I've done Just turn it off.

Put that pan lid between the flame and the tent!

Pan lid between the flame and the tent!

Put it out!

Put it out!

We had a bit of a fuel leak.

Fuel just started spewing out.

This can't happen in the North Pole because this is the difference between life and death.

It's what will keep us warm, what will feed us, what will dry us.

Am I looking suitably freaked out?

It's not very deep.

I mean like literally, that.

A bit deeper there.

I think this might suit our purposes quite well.

[sinister laugher] So we'll be spending days on ice that's over an ocean.

Although we are doing everything to make sure none of us gets wet the whole time that we're there, there is the possibility that someone ends up in the water accidentally.

Okay.

All right, Misba.

You're being brave... - I am.

- for being the first one.

Yeah, I am.

Oh yes, I am!

Oh!

Ah!

That's it!

Well done, well done!

Now...

Roll in snow, and then leg it back to the tent and get warm!

Leg it back to the tent.

Oh, god.

Nataaa, ready for you.

One thing that really attracted me to this project was to see how I would behave in this environment, being faced with really, really low temperatures.

- Are they ready?

- Yeah.

- Great.

Olga's going to take your boots.

Okay.

I am not afraid, but... [gasps] There we go.

Right.

you got wet, that's it, that's it.

All right, there you go, lie down on the mat.

Woo, get your front wet.

Woo, that's it.

All right.

We'll all be skiing on that ice that is disappearing that won't be there in a few years.

Like, I'm really aware that my niece, my nephew, my little cousin, you know, it's something that they won't even dream of, skiing to the North Pole.

Get the wet off!

Get the wet off!

So for me as a scientist to ski on that thin piece of ice that is still there, this is amazing.

Bollocks, my feet are cold.

My first adventure was going to the Atlas Mountains, so I've never been away from home when I've lived with my parents.

So once married, I've always had my husband with me, or... ...the children, but never on my own.

So I wanted to see more of the world now and my son finally got to university and I thought, "Now I'm going to, you know, treat myself."

So I booked a holiday abroad, climbing Mount Tubko.

The next hurdle was to tell my husband.

So I told him that I want to do this thing.

He wasn't happy with it.

Saying, you know, it wasn't the right thing to do.

But you obviously need to get it out of your system.

So do it once and that's it.

He was fine about it.

And I looked at the number of grades and I didn't understand them, so I thought "Oh five, it must be quite easy."

So I thought maybe five...

I didn't understand these gradings.

And she kept saying to me you'll be fine.

You've done mountains.

I said, yeah.

Actually there were six men and two women.

It was hard to keep up with them.

I took one little step, they took four.

[laughter] When, um, we'd finished the mountain and everything, and on the last day, the guide had asked me, he goes, "We're surprised that as a Muslim woman you've come with us.

Did your husband not mind?"

I'm going, "No, no, no, not at all.

He's allowed me and everything."

And that was my adventure.

[ Laughter and clapping ] That was hard work.

I'd never been to a cinema until I got married.

And I've never eaten out until I got married.

Oh, dear, this is hard work.

All right.

There we are.

We inspire our children as they're growing up to do things differently from what we had done.

But when our children are grown up, we then don't do anything for ourselves.

Gosh I wished I'd learned skiing when I was young.

I wish I did a lot of things when I was young, but... ...everything comes in its own time.

There's so much snow.

Where's the wind coming from?

God, I hope that's not like a storm coming.

We've just set the tent up and there's a snowstorm outside.

Got my flask of water, and... ...my sweetie bag.

So we're going to wait here for about, what time do you think we'll be here until?

About 10 minutes.

And then we're going to hopefully dig ourselves out and start sledging again.

What are you doing?

We're kicking off the snow from our tent.

It's falling apart!

It's shrinking by the second!

Not funny but it still is.

Twelve hours of storm And the tent is collapsing.

It's half past five, I'm in my sleeping bag.

It's very cold.

I haven't slept.

I daren't drink any water because I don't want to go out for a... ...a wee in this weather and then get blown away.

A difficult night.

[ groans ] I just want my bed.

[ ominous music ] My boots are here.

I think my bag, it's here somewhere, I hope.

The snow started to come in from that side and it started to drown our tent and push the tent inwards at us.

I felt like I was actually drowning in there because it was just coming closer and closer and closer.

And it reached to a point where it was here.

And it was quite scary.

I was actually trying to think like "Will this be my end?"

This happened...partly because of... ...human error and inexperience.

You know...we could have done more to protect this tent.

But also partly because, you know sometimes you do just get walloped by the weather.

And I think we've just got walloped by the weather.

It was a bit of a wake-up call, which could be really scary.

When we get to the North Pole, we need to be absolutely on form working at our best right from Day One.

Okay.

Do you want to...start down [ intense music ] [ melodic praying ] When travelers travel through the desert, they just stopped and they would just do their prayers.

I want to pray at all these places, on the hills, on the mountains, everywhere in the world.

And there's 11 women from across Europe and the Arab countries, there's me, and we're going to ski the last 100 kilometers to the North Pole.

I've been training for a good 1 1/2 years I'd say?

I think I started off with swimming with you.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

So... We started off with you and you couldn't even swim.

I couldn't swim, yeah.

Thank you for that!

Do you remember?

Yes!

Such a steep learning curve actually.

Do you have that fear the ice will break underneath the tent?

Yeah, I couldn't swim really.

Yeah, there is that fear, yeah, where the ice will crack and what we're going to do.

The ice on the North Pole is always moving, so we could ski 20 kilometers in one day and then get up in the morning and find that we're 10 kilometers behind because the wind has moved us back.

So just pray that the wind pushes the other way to help us.

Obviously you'll be celebrating your 50th there.

Oh, brilliant, you have to bring that in?

[ chatter ] [ intense music ] The last year has been a tough one emotionally, mentally.

I've been going through a divorce and that obviously leaves you in a bad state of mind.

It messes with your confidence, with your abilities, with anything, really.

I don't even know where to start to talk about Saudi Arabia.

You just need to understand what is prohibited.

And then there's all these gray areas like cycling.

It's not a norm to find a woman biking in a public space.

The way that I saw it was I want to bike, so I'm going to bike.

So I started this group where we're five women maximum and we go every Friday morning biking by the beach.

It is kind of shocking, honestly.

But you do need, like, high fat content.

Milk chocolate is your friend.

I imagine it's very stressful.

Skiing ten hours, that's crazy.

Someone was basically saying that your mind gives up before your body does.

And a lot of times what happens is... you know, we... we stop as soon as our mind just takes a wrong turn and and "Oh!

I'm tired, I'm going to stop."

Yeah.

But our body can actually still keep going, you know?

[ intense music ] When we first said that we were going to come and do some polar training in the desert of Oman, a lot of people raised their eyebrows.

"What are you doing?"

But when you get here, there's a lot of similarities, as bizarre as that sounds.

The fact that the nature of how you move across this landscape is very similar.

And then just the way that you can't plan in the desert because all the dunes have moved and changed.

And unless you're on the ground, you can't make those decisions in advance.

And that's exactly what it's going to be like in the arctic.

You have to let go of any idea of having a plan and just make decisions on the ground as you go.

You know, I'm somebody who likes to be in the thick of it.

I don't like to be on the periphery.

And so standing her waving goodbye as they disappear across the dunes, it's um, yeah, it's a little bit gutting.

Tell you what: you get this one and I'll make that one...

I'll make that one work.

You sure?

Yeah, of course.

[ Chatter ] You know, I've lived all my life.

Like, I don't know, "Mariam's not a physically able to do such a thing."

or, "Mariam doesn't know how to... She doesn't know how to camp or she doesn't know how to do this."

No, I can learn these things.

As cheesy as it sounds when people say, "Anything is possible" it is true.

Okay, time check, how are we doing?

Five minutes, guys.

You got to slow down a sec.

If I slow, my feet are burning.

So we've been debating the question of heat and cold for a while now.

I prefer heat.

- Cold.

- Cold.

Definitely cold.

Hot, hot, heat.

- You heat?

- Thank you.

Big time.

- Heat?

- Yeah.

- Absolutely.

- Really?

Yeah.

Anytime.

You've got venomous snakes instead of polar bears.

I prefer the polar bears.

That's fun.

Misba, are you heading for the ridge?

We're already to the ridge.

This is going to be interesting.

Are you sure about this?

Yes, come on.

Oh my word.

Ah!

[ grunts ] Come one, Misba.

This is your genius decision, eh?

Whoo!

Oh, wow.

Come on, we can do it.

Come on.

I work as an outdoor instructor so it was hard for me to take a step back, but I tried to do that.

I'll just give me feet a rest.

I need to keep reminding myself, it's not about each individual, it's about how you work as a team, which is one of my biggest concerns.

The team is just as strong as the weakest link.

And if you've got a person who's really weak, that's the weight you need to carry.

My priority is: I want to get to the North Pole.

with the team would be great.

That would be the best case scenario.

I'm still going to do it with or without them.

Today, with the GPS, how was it out there?

I had to hold my tongue a few times.

It's just differences in opinion.

When one person goes... the leader, goes one way than the other, and I must admit, hands up, I did that once and I'm like, "Oh, but that's clearly the easier way."

So... And then I move because I was the second person and then everyone follows me, which in the North Pole, you can't get away with doing that.

No.

So often with expeditions, when they fall apart, or when they don't work, when they fail, there's lots of reasons given.

"Oh, well it was the worst weather in 50... you know, you hear all that a lot.

I've seen it in teams before where things are difficult and you translate that into this kind of negative spiral.

But when you sort of dig below the surface it's because someone within that team wasn't made to feel of value or the team wasn't communicating properly, and so that's why I feel that so much work has to be put into that because that doesn't happen by accident.

They should be feeling really proud and pumped up.

But it doesn't feel like that at the moment.

One word to describe that day.

Il terrible!

Spiders.

Too many.

Lots of sand.

Lots of sand.

For me, it's been a challenge.

So it's been... - Oh, I'm glad you said those words.

- A good challenge.

Yes, but it has been a challenge.

That makes me feel so good!

[ Laughter ] That it has been a challenge for you.

[ bright music ] Okay.

Ten seconds.

Have fun.

I had a dream that my house was repossessed.

So maybe it's a good thing I'm learning how to live outside.

I'm doing my utmost to try to stop the sand getting in it.

- Another day.

- Another day.

Another day in the desert.

Can you just slow down?

It doesn't matter how much we train.

Everyone has to be on the same wavelength.

And ultimately, we have to completely trust each other and communicate with each other.

How was that?

Ups and downs?

Yeah, you're all very quiet.

Come and find some shade.

The last leg was really hard.

That last leg was killer.

I"m forming a little blister.

Oh, it's sunburn before frostbite.

Frostbite can be literally even worse.

If I do like this with my fingers now, it feels like I have needles that... doing that.

Both thumbs and this finger as well.

Always.

And I have it here as well.

Always hurts when I do this.

Is anyone asleep yet?

You know I had an experience talking to a woman from Indonesia.

It was quite common in her country for husbands to take a second wife eventually.

I'm thinking, you know...

If I was given that option as an educated woman, "Do you want to be the second wife?"

I don't know, I'd find that quiet hard I think.

I've got a lot to say about all of it.

Muslims, correct me if I'm wrong.

My dad is married to two women as well, okay?

So I come from a family where there's two moms.

There has to be equality between the wives... Yeah.

- Financially.

- Financially.

- With every, with every aspect possible, so... the size of the house, the number of cars, the ...

There's two cars?

Yeah.

If there's two house if they're not sharing a house.

So in my family, my mom said I want to live in a joint family thing, keep it one house.

Because she knew that that woman had four kids with my dad.

And I'm just giving you this as an example for you guys to realize that there are such cases where women aren't forced into accepting a second wife or forced into accepting another woman.

But it's a belief system.

Yeah.

If you genuinely believe that this is okay, then you're going to do it with an open heart.

Yeah.

Like, my grandmother is one of four wives.

And like you said, they're... they're sisters, and they're friends, and they, they do everything together.

Like when they're sick, they take care of each other.

And it just becomes like an extended family.

And once again, I personally don't think I would do that.

But it's a belief system.

And if it works, it works.

And if it works, it works, you know.

So is the opposite also possible that the wife chooses?

Why are we laughing?

No, no, but go on, yeah.

What if a woman would be the one choosing a husband and then in cooperation would this husband choose the second one and the third one and the fourth one?

That to me would feel like equality.

Yeah.

I mean, Islamically speaking, no there isn't that... Yeah, the mirror version of that.

Everyone here is very passionate.

There was friction.

But it's better that we have that friction now and work it through than have that friction when we've only got our 2-week window to make it to the North Pole.

[ whispered praying ] I've got small and I've got... That's good.

Yeah, I like that.

Okay.

Thank you.

Get well soon.

Okay, assalamu alaikum.

Okay, well you rest.

Appreciate it.

You're welcome.

Assalamu alaikum.

Morning!

Morning!

There's the list of Muslim patients there, and that's been updated today.

Okay.

And then there's also the printout for you.

So, Misba, how ready are you for the North Pole?

I've got about, what, 4 days left?

Oh, wow.

I'm terrified.

The North Pole was in a distance, but now it's all of a sudden it's come, my anxiety has kicked in.

On Monday, apparently my husband was telling me I was stood outside the bed at 3 in the morning, and saying, "Am I there yet?"

I know.

How are you going to know what direction to pray at the North Pole?

Don't the compasses go bananas there or something?

It will be the nearest Muslim country to the North Pole.

Right.

Nearest Muslim country, I don't know if that's Morocco.

I don't know.

You know what I'm like with directions.

I don't...

I know the North is that way.

You can't even find your way to the wards sometimes!

I know, I know, I struggle with the wards.

Forget about the North Pole.

I'm thinking of putting the bars in here and putting one sledge on the top.

Yeah because the bag, this bag is big in size, so you want lightness of ... Yeah, yeah, I get it.

I get it.

The big, big bulky stuff can go in this bag because this bag is big in size.

Okay.

Yeah.

I do all the packing when we go away on holiday.

No it's... You need to put more stuff.

Put all that stuff in there.

You go to the airport.

What you do is juggle it, put it in another bag, and... [ Chatter ] [ intense music ] Looks like the fridge is colder than the freezer.

Yeah, who is that?

Mr. Horsey.

Hey, little boy.

[ chatter ] I think we can afford to be a little bit, have a little bit more of those ones in here.

I am opening Twix.

It's a complicated job I tell you.

This is snacks for during the day because we're not going to be stopping to eat.

Everything needs to be chopped up into bite-size pieces, otherwise it freezes.

And it will be hard to bite it.

So we are waiting for a flight to take us from Longyearbyen to a place known as Barneo, and it's a floating ice station somewhere around 89 degrees north, and when they go out there, they find somewhere suitable in the sea ice that's thick enough to build a runway, so that's when they can start shipping people like us from Longyearbyen to the ice station.

It's an incredible story how they set up this ice station.

It's absolutely nuts.

What's happening right now is that there are helicopters flying from the middle of Siberia, up over the sea ice, finding a good place to put a runway, and when they think they've found a good spot, they radio back to Russia, and a plane is sent out, a big Antonov cargo plane with all the tents and the accommodation and all the other things that they need.

They have to push everything out the back of the plane because the plane can't land on the sea ice.

And they always send two bulldozers and apparently the reason is, they always used to send one, but one year they pushed the bulldozers out the back of the plane and the bulldozer just disappeared straight through the sea ice.

So now they always send two in case one disappears.

And then the guys have to clear a runway.

So they've got a huge amount of work to do, and the amount of risk involved in any of that.

You can imagine, any little part of that goes wrong, they're very vulnerable and exposed.

What's in the red bag, Susan?

In the red bag there's a survival suit.

that the Institut polaire français Paul-Émile Victor - Open it!

lent us for the expedition We would use this if someone needs to try out some ice that we're not too sure about It's a little bit heavy.

[ laughter ] and, Susan I'm going to hand that to you.

We need science and we're taking the opportunity of us going to the North Pole to gather like new data, exciting data.

Okay, you ready for this?

I'm ready.

Relax just a little bit for me.

There you go, perfect.

I've done that so many times on seals, so it's only fair that Okay, I have another one here.

it's my turn.

There's two scientific studies happening.

The one with psychology and the one with physiology.

There's really few studies in this kind of expedition.

But the ones that have been done have been on men.

Hello, they say we can start or not?

Or we wait a little bit, Rick?

[Indistinct] Good evening everybody.

It's so nice to see again everybody here and first of all I'd like to apologize on behalf of the organizers for such a delay.

What happened unfortunately on 12th of February, One of the helicopters of this company crashed and two people were killed.

You know, sometimes it happens.

Everything which happens in air sometimes fall.

This helicopter company had had two crashes within the space of about 3 months and so their permit was revoked.

Couldn't be managed in the right way, So we decided we have to delay the season.

the first flight will be on the evening on 14th.

So we have very short season.

Ten days.

What could go wrong now?

Everything, being later in the month will mean that the ice perhaps is moving around more, perhaps breaking open more, larger breaks, bigger, bigger pressure ridges.

It could mean anything.

This is why the season never lasts beyond the end of April is because the sea ice state becomes too precarious that they can't stay out there.

[ Chatter ] Do you also need small ones?

Yes.

In second half of April, actually, the weather is mild.

In the beginning, it could be -30, -35.

Now, -20, -25.

For ice, it's bad.

Ice is getting weaker.

But for you it's better.

We can all swim, so that helps.

No, no, don't swim.

I'm only joking.

- Don't even joke.

- I'm ...

Thank you.

It's good I came over, especially for so many hugs.

Ah great.

Not for expeditions.

Having 13 women!

Yeah.

Having these incredible nice looking ladies around is just good experience and then make people more happy.

Exciting.

Okay ladies have a good time, I leave in half an hour.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

I bring you something delicious.

Thank you so much.

[ Chatter ] I did a big expedition in 1995 across Arctic Ocean.

We had the team with two women there.

And they behave much better than men.

Yeah.

[ ominous music ] I live in Svalbard.

We have now 3,000 polar bears in this area.

If something would happen on the expedition, I'm the one who would step in front and be between the bear and my teammates.

They are amazing animals, amazing.

They are where the seals are, where the food is, and they are where there's more broken ice.

They are top of the food chain, and they know that they have no enemies on land, and therefore they are dangerous.

So always try to look up and around you.

If you would then see these black spots, the three ones that you always look for, the three black spots.

You see two eyes and one nose, although if you see them then he also is quite close.

If he start coming closer, a flare gun would be the first thing we would shoot.

Then me and Felicity who has rifles, if it would come to that, we have to shoot the polar bear, then we shoot it to kill it.

You don't shoot the polar bear to injure it because he will now suffer to death.

For the North gate it shouldn't be any polar bears but because climate change the ice is breaking up, and polar bears are looking for areas where might be seals or areas where they maybe haven't been before and the ice being smaller and smaller, these polar bears starts getting higher and higher up which means that it is a higher risk.

We definitely have to be careful and keep our eyes open.

[ phone chimes ] Okay.

We're on standby from the airport from 11 o'clock.

Does that sound good?

Yes, it's good, a bit excited, but it's too surreal.

Well, you saw me today at lunch.

You were shaking.

My hand was like this.

It's actually happening.

It's not pulling a tire in the park anymore.

Today's temperature in the North Pole is -29.

Well it's good news for us.

So that's colder.

Yeah.

That's good.

It's good news for the ice.

[ laughter ] Next 10 days is going to be a lot...

Going to be a lot of drama.

...drama, stress levels.

Won't be an easy thing for me if I don't make it.

I tend to be very tough on myself for... For not making it?

...making mistakes.

When I said finding out about ourselves, for me, it would be dealing with this failure.

I'm not so good... That's one of my weakest points, dealing with failure.

When you train and you work so hard for something, and then you get there, do you never get sad?

No.

Oh, okay, then I'm the weirdo.

You have actually trained for this!

No it's just because, no it's because okay, I've done it.

[ excited music ] [ speaking Russian on headsets ] Yuri, that's it.

Closer.

Where?

Go ahead!

Go ahead!

Go ahead!

This is pretty fucking terrifying.

Focus on a positive thought and breathe.

She's asthmatic and it's cold.

Be careful now.

This is real time.

Fingers, faces, toes.

Check check check check check.

Sorry?

The bottle has got fuel around it.

[ speaking Russian over the radio ] [ music intensifying ] Guys!

Hold onto your skis.

They could fly away when the helicopter goes.

How are you all feeling?

When I say how are you feeling, I mean having had no sleep overnight.

It would be great if we could get a good day in even though we're all feeling pretty tired and you know.

All right.

Let's give it a go.

[ gasps for air ] Oh dear.

Ah shit.

Oh no.

Oh my god.

Ah shit.

Careful your rope.

You'll step over it.

Break time.

[ praying ] Can everybody check each other's faces?

Make sure there's no white bits.

Any white bits is bad news.

I struggled with everything.

I'm struggling with my skis, the cold.

I struggled with the length of skiing time.

I just struggled with everything.

Oh!

Go, go, go, go, go!

We should camp here for the night.

It's 9 o'clock?

Wow.

How was it?

Super difficult.

I started early no sleep, not much food, and it was just really tiring.

My muscles ache, my shoulder, my back.

The situation in the arctic is pretty alarming from a climate change point of view.

It's the stability of the ice that's the problem.

It's all right if you get nervous now.

There's less and less multiyear ice around.

So a lot of the ice you're seeing will have formed that previous winter.

The really strong stuff is the stuff that's survived several winters, and that's the stuff that's really reducing.

[ ice cracking ] You're just walking on thin ice here.

Any minute now it's going to crack and open beneath you.

which is such a dangerous environment.

The fact that you could hear the ice breaking, not cracking, breaking, was really scary.

If you played poker, going all in, that was all in.

It was scary.

Me and Anisa said our good-byes to each other a couple of times and told each other that if anything happens they'd tell our parents that we're okay, and we love them very much.

Yep.

You really feel like you're on top of the ocean, but when it's covered with snow, you don't.

So it's like it goes back and forth.

But we're really always on top of the ocean, so there is no safety.

I've written my will before I went here.

You did?

Yeah, my mom wanted me to.

I said "Mom it's alright!"

"Yeah, but I want you to.

If anything happens to you, you should have it."

I think it's the battle of the mind... - Yeah.

- ...over actually where you are.

[ camp stove hissing ] Good morning Nataaa Yeah.

It's a kindly reminder that it's spitting day today.

Just a boring science reminder.

It's spitting day.

So just before we set off if you can spit and then next stop, spit again and don't forget to push your watches.

Thank you so much.

That's disgusting.

How many kilometers have done this morning?

Two and a half.

But it was fast, no?

Does the speed feel good to you?

Who's leading now?

You leading?

Yeah.

Huh.

Looks like we're back.

I started my period.

I shouldn't have started because I finished when I started to come here.

You're in such an extreme environment, there's nothing that's normal.

Unless I put too much stress on my body yesterday.

Misba, there is nothing normal to what happens to your body in this environment.

Absolutely nothing.

Yeah but I had two good days.

Really at the top of the world.

Well, you're gonna have a shit day at some point because you can't always have fucking awesome days.

Whoo!

Just... keep... pushing.

It keeps coming out.

Come on.

Your boot coming out of them?

- Yeah.

- Mariam?

Yeah?

Don't worry.

I know you, I know you're panicking.

No, no, no I just don't want this to be an issue.

Oh my god.

It keeps coming out.

At least I can say I'm the first sucker to walk to the North Pole.

I think this is better, yeah, oh god.

Uh-oh.

Shit I think my hands are freezing.

Mariam, go inside.

We'll do the rest.

Take care of your fingers.

Mariam, are you alright?

Your hands okay?

Something is not right.

Ooh.

Doesn't look good.

OK, keep warm.

Don't go to sleep because it might be hypothermia, and you could die.

This is Felicity from the Euro-Arabian expedition.

It's 8922.8.

Thanks, Victor.

Unfortunately, I got frostbite.

It doesn't feel like it's something like a big deal.

In my mind, I really want to continue but the fact of the matter is it's going to get worse and worse, and I wouldn't be able to hold things.

I wouldn't be able to help with ...

I'd basically be a useless tent mate.

I mean, I, I feel very sad.

- Me too.

- It's not fair.

It's not fair but this is like... we had -38.

I'm afraid.

This experience scared the shit out of me.

You may do everything right, it's just tiny little bit of things, and you've been the best.

I will work really, really hard to plant your flag.

Keep positive.

Keep positive.

Okay?

Don't ever think anything negative.

I'm just really sad.

It's a brutal reminder that we're in one of the harshest... We are in the harshest environment on the planet.

It doesn't take much.

It really doesn't take much.

Susan, can you do a face check?

Of course, the thought comes in your head, "Well, we're just like Mariam.

One of us could be next."

My mind wants to keep going, but my body can't keep going.

I wanted to be there with the team, and I wanted to make it there with them, especially Nataaa, my tent mate.

It was hard leaving her.

The doctor said it's kinda bad.

This is quite dangerous.

Now, I'm getting scared.

He gives you special pain killers.

Yeah, there is already bubbles.

Already bubbles?

It's a bubble so it'll be bigger.

Bigger.

Could be bigger.

[ speaking Russian ] But now this pain is going to get worse, right?

Yeah probably, yes.

Just keep going as quickly and carefully as you can.

Am I over?

Nope.

Yeah, now you are.

Okay, thank you.

You good?

We have to be careful to all stick together.

When I realized that Mariam wasn't going to be able to continue, I was mortified.

I'm the one that's told them that they can be out there, that they can do this.

So that's going to make me ask a lot of questions in the future about whether I was a bit too confident.

People often say, "Oh, would you continue an expedition if there was a death in the team?"

I don't think you can predict in advance what the emotion to something really catastrophic like that would be.

My biggest fear, letting people down.

I miss her.

It just felt so odd today not having her in amongst the group.

So, yeah, I feel very odd.

When I was starting to bitch or be negative, "Nataaa."

Yeah, I think Mariam is a very sort of soulful person in that she always sees the soul of something, and that's quite lovely to have around when you've got someone who has that perspective.

I promised my children that I would come home, If anybody leaves the expedition being ill, that same flight, I was ...

I'd come ... - You did?

- I did, yeah.

She was actually standing here, and she was like, "I'm going to go with Mariam on the plane."

We're like, "What?"

Because I promised.

You also made me promise that I won't let you leave.

Yeah, so actually, yes.

You did.

They better not find out.

I know.

They better not find out that someone went home.

On the edge.

I think you need to take there.

All right.

Here is touching open water.

Oh, no!

This is open water.

That's too big for us.

And it looks like there's more here.

Yeah.

I wonder if we follow it this way...

It takes us out of our way, but I don't think we can cross that.

My gut feeling is we should go right and see if we can get round the big one.

This is the first time I've ever seen this.

I guess we should be excited, but it feels a bit scary, to be honest.

I think we just have to follow it for a bit because this is no good.

This is also the place we need to start watching out for polar bears.

More water.

More likelier are the bears.

That was a crack, yeah.

There's water everywhere, frozen water which we hadn't seen so much lately, looks like lots of little lake, frozen lake everywhere and much more warmer.

It's really strange.

Okay, what about... What's going on here?

Wait there until we're all with you.

We'll get across really quick.

Yes, so we need to go quickly, guys.

Go, go, go!

Are you all ready?

Fucking hell.

You don't know when this stuff is going to move.

If anything here moves, we don't stand a chance.

Get ready.

Go, go, go, go.

That's the first time I've ever had to take a team across a lead, and you read about it.

You hear about it.

People talk to you about it, give you advice, but faced then with the responsibility of choosing a place, where it's not going to go whoosh, and it's... No one is going to go in, and, yeah, but I had to just look confident.

If you hold this, I'll go get the shovel.

Anything I can do?

Stomp on it.

Ida!

You need to move a bit that side.

It's not straight again.

- Sorry?

- The tent has gone like this.

It's funny.

In our tent, we've got the woman of the house and the man of the house.

So Ida and I are the men, and we do all the manly work, so putting the tent up, supporting the tent with snow around it.

We call Misba Mama Misba.

She's like the caretaker of the family.

She's the first one into the tent.

When we get in, the house is nice and ready for us, and the water is already boiling, and we can get warmed up.

I didn't get an option to do the outside because I was told that I'm very mom-sy.

I should go inside doing the cooking.

- Anisa.

- I'm sorry, Misba.

Everyone's coffee been thrown here.

Have you thrown any coffee out front?

I was here and I told you I'm going to throw it here, And you were like, "No, hygienic kitchen.

You don't put anything in my kitchen."

Guys, does it matter now?

Yeah, she never throws her stuff out, I'll throw it out for her.

The hardest part for me not this, not the skiing.

not the pulling our sledges, not the cold.

It's dealing with people.

You're cramped up in a tent with four people and you have to be civil.

You have to not fight.

You have to control yourself and not get stressed.

We're trying to take an aerial view of the landscape so we can build a new runway.

The magnetic field is crazy.

I'm fighting, fighting.

It's going like this, and I have to fight.

As long as I can see the drone, I can bring back.

If I don't ... See?

Here ... That crack is here.

No, it's not this one.

It's a new one.

Oleg Andreyich, let's send the tractor.

We can't see what's there, under the snow.

Tell them I need the layout.

The Barneo camp, the pilots and where the open water is.

That's what I need.

[ anxious music ] It's your turn.

I am doing the polar bear watch which is basically the worst part of this expedition because you have to get out of your warm sleeping bags, and we do 1 hour, 30 minutes intervals between the tent teams, and you pace around, look around for the three black dots and make sure you don't see them in the horizon.

Morning.

You know we should have a chair for bear watch.

A chair... - But... - for bear watch.

Yeah.

I squat, but what about everybody else?

What do you do?

- No, see... - What do you mean?

Like this, I can do this for ages.

I walk about!

Sorry?

I walked about for an hour and a half.

I didn't see that many footprints.

- Yes, you did.

- No, I didn't.

Well, then you weren't... You were obviously inside the tent.

She spent most of her time inside the tent.

But last night during my bear watch, I started listening to a new audiobook, "Astrophysics For Those In a Hurry," super cool, and just when I was up there alone, and listening to how the universe started and the atoms and the molecules and Big Bang and all that.

Yeah.

Can't wait to get back to it.

Move it slowly.

So I want to go through there.

Yeah.

Are we ready?

Come on.

Let's go into the madness.

Does she know about heading slightly right to pole?

Misba!

What's your marker?

Where are you heading for?

I'm heading to that iceberg.

Is that ok?

Well, north is like here and we were heading there.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh!

I'm gonna smash this!

When you are leading, and you see the vast ice in front of you, and you have to actually map the routes out and everybody to follow, there's a huge responsibility, absolutely huge.

You can try this one.

There's a path in between.

This one looks good.

Yeah, looks good.

I actually forget that I work in an office, and I have a family.

I'm looking good.

I feel good.

[ singing ] Regrets I have a few I went the wrong way Then again I did it my way [ hopeful music ] That's it.

That's it.

Take it up, up, up, up.

Well-oiled machine!

Nice.

This way?

No.

Oh, yeah, there you go.

Four minutes.

Woo-hoo!

Well done.

Love teamwork.

We keep on having these discussions, and we're skiing, and I turn around.

I'm like, "Are you okay?"

She goes, "Mm-hmm."

And I continue, and I was crying.

She turns around.

"Are you okay?"

"Mm-hmm."

And I continue, and when we went back into the tent, she looks at me, and I was like, "Anisa, today was really, really hard.

I fell so much, and I just felt very, very weak, and I kept on crying."

And she goes, "You were crying?

Which leg?"

I'm like, "The second leg."

She goes, "I was crying on the second leg and the third leg."

I'm like, "Me, too."

There's 19.44 nautical miles to the North Pole girls!

What's happening now?

That's Olga and Felicity.

They're trying to find the... - A route.

- a route for us.

They're over there just straight ahead.

She's like, climbing the little ice cube.

Ay-ay-ay.

What can you see, Felicity?

Nothing that makes me very happy.

What was the view from there?

There's no crossing that.

We'd be in there for days and days and days.

Just really big blocks with really big holes so... Maybe we just ski...

Ski.

...a long way out of our way, but come round.

And then come around, yeah.

Because if we go into this, we're never coming out.

We'll be in there until next spring.

So I think let's go out and then just head south.

I bloody well hope this is right.

What do you think?

Seems much better.

Yeah?

Okay, let's do that.

I think we shouldn't go in there.

We'll take too long.

We'll be there all day.

So we found a route, and don't get me wrong.

It looks horrible, but it is slightly better than up there.

So I think it's a good option rather than keeping skiing and hoping we see something better.

We're going to have to plunge in at some point.

Plunge in, yeah.

- Right, and then Asma.

- Should we go around though?

Oh, you're coming down?

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Got it.

Just a second.

Hold on.

Hold on it.

Just take one step.

[ gasping, exerting ] One, two, three.

Phew.

Okay, we need one more person here.

One, two, go.

Oh, shit, shit, shit.

You all right?

- Shit.

- Yeah, I just need a minute.

Is your head all right?

Yeah, yeah, it was my bum.

It's fine.

- Okay.

- It just hurts.

I am busting for a wee.

Will anyone be offended?

We need a better system.

Shall we make a human chain?

That would be easier.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nataaa, you stand down there.

I'll stand here, and you just pass it.

Okay?

And this is how the chain works, people.

And this is how it works.

Quite literally a chain.

It's very interesting understanding, as each day goes by, these different women and working with them.

It hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be.

What are we doing here?

Actually, it's been great.

Olga wasn't done taking pictures.

Lesson learned from this is, people can be so much deeper than you would perceive them to be.

This must be the most fun day so far.

I hope tomorrow is the same, yes.

If I met Asma back home, I don't think I would have fallen in love with her the way I have here.

Asma, a princess from Qatar, I thought, "Oh, no, that's not going to work out."

But strangely that's one of the strongest bonds I've formed, and it feels like it's a lifetime of knowing her.

It feels... emotional.

Yeah.

It's emotional.

I was thinking yesterday, it's like... what's that called when a woman gives birth?

Post... Post-mortem depression.

No.

Mortem means death.

Mortem Partem?

No, you're not post-mortem.

Mortem?

Anyway, after they give birth they get sad.

So that's how I feel.

Like I've been having this baby for two years.

And now it's going to come out.

- You've been pregnant for two years?

- Yeah.

Like an elephant.

This environment is so beautiful, magical.

There's no words that can describe this, the whiteness, and then the sky.

I do feel like I'm on a pilgrimage.

My religious beliefs are stronger when I'm away from home.

You have all these things in life that can take you away from the spiritual world, but here you're stripped away of everything.

You're down to the basics of life.

It's really powerful.

It's 11 kilometers away.

So we may or may not get there today, but there's a good chance that we will.

I think we'll find that we might be chasing the North Pole a bit to stand on it, and then we'll only be on it for a little while before we're not on it again.

Motivational speech, "Braveheart" speech, come on.

- Do you need any motivation?

- Yes, we do.

- We do.

- Do you need any motivation?

Yes, we do!

I think you're all very motivated with or without me.

The plan is to set out as normal, see what waits for us and maybe, by the end of today, we're at the North Pole.

Woo-hoo!

Woo!

Ready for the North Pole?

Woo!

To the North Pole!

I just hope we don't hit a massive ridge within 200 yards now... and deflate everybody.

[ suspensful music building ] We are 3.14 nautical miles from the North Pole.

How far is it there, Misba?

One thousand six hundred meters.

Woo-hoo!

We've come down to meters, I've been told.

We are so close yet so far.

I wish someone could just run ahead and plant a flag for us... and then we'd know where we're aiming for.

Five hundred meters.

Mine says 464 meters.

Four fifty-four, we're getting ...

Okay, come on, let's find it.

Hundred and seventy-five meters.

About to reach the North Pole.

I'm fifty in two weeks.

Ah, it's good.

It's a good birthday present, isn't it?

Fantastic birthday present.

A hundred and sixty meters.

Can't top being at the North Pole at fifty.

A hundred and fifty meters.

Sixty meter, I made you a mark, so you can see, 60 meters.

Fifty meters!

Thirteen, twelve.

Twenty meters, girls!

Eleven, ten.

Five, four, three... Don't fall, two!

One!

[ cheering ] I've lost it!

I've lost it!

I've lost it!

I've lost it.

I've lost it.

Who's got it?

Three.

Yeah, there... or here.

- Two.

- Where is it?

- Here.

- Three?

- Right here.

- No?

- No?

- Okay.

Here we go, executive decision.

That ... ... is the north pole!

[ loud cheering ] Woo!

[ Cheering ] From one Brit to another.

We just shake hands, yeah?

Yeah, we do.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you very much.

I'm just taking a picture of my North Pole, even though everyone has trampled all over it.

Success is often seen as planting your flag.

This is my North Pole.

Ninety, zero, zero, zero, zero.

But I think skiing to the North Pole is more than just a physical journey.

It's exploring what's inside us which I think is just as important as exploring our surroundings.

I hadn't prayed for 10 years, and that was the first time I prayed, and I just had this really strong feeling, the feeling of new beginnings.

Anisa, how are you feeling?

At peace finally, yeah.

Anisa.

Come on.

[ crying and laughing ] You have done so well.

- Thank you.

- You have.

You, too, buddy.

Yeah, finally.

This is it?

No.

It's going to continue now.

Yeah.

This is not it.

This is the beginning.

This is what all the sacrifices were for.

This is it.

There's no ending.

This is no ending to anything.

This is the beginning of many things to come.

Huh?

Yeah.

Yes.

Hi, it's Felicity from the Euro-Arabian team.

Our position is...

Yes, North Pole.

At the moment, yes.

Okay.

See you soon, Victor, bye.

Ah, there's the purple jacket.

Is that Mariam?

That's Mariam!

I think it's Mariam.

It is.

So glad that you're here!

[ excited chatter ] - It felt incomplete.

- There was something missing - There was something missing.

- And it was Mariam.

And it was Mariam.

Yeah.

So glad you've come.

I'm so glad that your fingers are getting better.

I'm going to keep my fingers, yeah.

So that's good news.

Yeah, the doctor said, "No chop," so...

I swear!

Literally, he said, "No chop."

Did he?

I swear!

[ bright, upbeat music ] [ transitions to somber music ] [ upbeat, music ]