NARRATOR: The nation's favorite celebrities-- I like surprises.

..paired up with an expert...

I got excited then!

TIM: Ooh!

VO: Whoopsie!

..and a classic car.

BOTH: Here we go!

(CAR BACKFIRES) Wowzer!

Their mission?

To scour Britain for antiques.

Am I on safari?

(WHISTLE BLOWS) The aim?

To make the biggest profit at auction.

(GASPS) But it's no easy ride.

Oh, dear!

Who will find a hidden gem?

(NEIGHS) Who will take the biggest risk?

(LAUGHS) Will anybody follow expert advice?

I hate it.

There will be worthy winners... (LAUGHS) ..and valiant losers.

DAVID: Double drat... ROSIE: Oh, no!

Put your pedal to the metal...

Spend, spend, spend.

This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

What a gas, eh?

MUSIC: "Fluorescent Adolescent" by Arctic Monkeys VO: Taxi!

For two celebrities.

But what's a London Hackney cab doing driving through the Lancashire countryside, eh?

Because it's transporting two firm friends, both actresses.

How long have we been friends now?

Er... three years?

Three, four... three years?

Three years.

VO: Gemma Oaten and Samantha Renke.

We are stuck with one another now, aren't we?

(LAUGHS) VO: Gemma and Samantha are both showbiz pals.

Particularly in our industry, you know, it's...

It's such a feisty industry, so it's nice having an amazing girlfriend to kind of have your back.

Oh, I love you.

I love you, too.

Hug!

Hug!

Oh, we can't, we've got our seat belts on!

VO: Gemma made her name appearing as Rachel Breckle in long-running soap Emmerdale, and has also graced our screens in much-loved dramas like Holby City.

While Samantha's appearances include the starring role in an iconic chocolate advert.

And also, she's a writer, disability rights campaigner and broadcaster.

Do you know what, I was thinking about you the other day, because I was looking... SAM: Were you, Jeremy?

JEREMY: Yes, I was... (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) Oi, oi!

JEREMY: Oi, oi.

SAM: (LAUGHS) SAM: I think some people are born to drive, I'm born to be chauffeured around by black cabs!

(LAUGHS) This is...

This is it!

..this is your life, though, isn't?

It is, though... Not literally, that's not the program... No, I don't...

I don't live in a black cab.

I know rent's expensive in London... (LAUGHS) VO: Today, these two are being chauffeured in an Austin Fairway taxi cab.

Accompanying the ladies on this journey of discovery are two antiques experts of note.

PHIL: Well, so, we're going to go and pick up Gemma and Sam, aren't we?

JAMES: Yeah.

PHIL: It'll be fun, yeah...

I'm looking forward to it.

VO: Philip Serrell and James Braxton.

They're piloting a 1979 Mercedes SL.

But it's a lovely car and it's a lovely day, isn't it?

SAM: We're both northerners... GEMMA: Yep.

..but it's nice having someone like you in London just to be like, "Oh, I just need a bit of northern."

(GAVEL) Yeah.

SAM: Northern banter.

It's great fun having somebody who can make you laugh, isn't it?

Absolutely right, yeah.

What a luxury.

PHIL: It... JAMES: What a luxury... ..it'll also be a nice change for me.

Yeah.

(LAUGH) VO: Let's hope the laughs continue as celebrities prepare to meet experts.

SAM: Here they are!

JAMES: Look at these two.

SAM: (LAUGHS) JAMES: Hello, hi.

SAM: Hi!

JAMES: Hi, how are you?

SAM: I'm Samantha.

JAMES: Hello, Samantha.

VO: They've already decided that James will pair with Samantha and Philip with Gemma.

So, we're totally going to win because my dad was actually an antiques dealer, so I... Yeah, and by the way, I only found out about this now.

What was your dad...?

JAMES: What was your dad?

PHIL: What was your dad?

He was an accountant.

PHIL: What use... SAM: Not the same thing.

Ah, we'll just fiddle it with the numbers.

GEMMA: Yeah!

SAM: Do you know what?

No, that's not part of the game!

VO: Well said, James.

VO: Both teams are out of the starting gates and Phil's coming out as a bit of a soap fiend...

I gotta tell you, I was an Emmerdale fan.

Was you?

Yeah, yeah.

I love the Yorkshire Dales.

VO: ..while Samantha and James are being ably ferried to their first shop by taxi driver, Ray.

This is Ray.

Ray, give us a wave!

Oh, no, he can't.

He can't take his hands off the wheel!

VO: Quite right, Ray.

It's safety first on the road trip.

And James is learning a bit more about Sam's passion for her work.

I think, with the, you know, disability element, there's a lot more on-screen talent now, which is great.

And, you know, we're seeing so many amazing people with disabilities, but in such an authentic way.

We're having our voices heard... Yeah.

..which has been a long time coming.

JAMES: Yeah.

SAM: Em, so it's a great time now.

JAMES: Yeah.

SAM: It's a really great time, and I love being a campaigner.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) So I feel really blessed.

VO: Let's hope that blessed feeling abides as both teams head for their very first shop of this trip.

Each team of celebrity and expert will have £400 to spend.

They start their journey today in Longridge, Lancashire, and are heading for auction in Crooklands, Cumbria.

How's Gemma feeling about the challenge ahead?

I'm a little bit scared because, obviously, Sam's just dropped the... Yeah.

..bomb that her dad was an antiques dealer.

No, we'll be fine.

We'll be fine.

What we're going to do, we've got £400 to spend...

Right.

..right?

And we're just going to try and buy what you like.

PHIL: You know, let's try and spend, I don't know... if we can spend it all, that would be great.

You see, I'd be inclined to just spend it all.

Let's blow the lot if we can, shall we?

GEMMA: Shall we?

PHIL: Are you a spender?

Oh, gosh, yes!

VO: Glad to hear it!

Gemma and Philip are charging off into the lusciously named Berry Antiques.

Oh... Well, Gemma, this is it.

Been in this shop... GEMMA: Wow!

PHIL: ..before?

No!

This is amazing.

I think I'll just unleash you.

Go on, off you go.

Oh, my goodness.

I don't know where to start.

This is amazing.

Oh, my mum would have a field day.

GEMMA: Oh!

(LAUGHS) See, immediately I'd go for the gnomes.

I know.

Don't look at me like that.

I'm sorry.

OK. OK. PHIL: I could've got Zak Dingle.

You got stuck with me, though, love.

So come on, let's crack on.

VO: Quite right, Gemma.

You've certainly got the right attitude for this game.

Oh, God.

Getting a bit dizzy.

VO: Ha!

This shop is crammed with stock.

Space is clearly at a premium.

Even the loo's brimming with antiques.

Hey, please wash your hands, eh?

PHIL: Gemma?

GEMMA: Yeah.

Come into my office, please.

GEMMA: Right.

Take a seat.

Oh!

OK... Take a seat.

(LAUGHS) Just... Oh, I hadn't thought of that, but, yeah, while you're at it... Might as well.

I mean, I knew we were close... Yeah.

..but I didn't realize we were at this stage in our relationship, Philip!

(LAUGHS) VO: Yeah...

Sitting comfortably?

Time for Phil to impart a bit of antiques knowledge.

PHIL: This is a Windsor chair.

Now, you don't have to be a genius to work it out, cuz they were sort of made in that part of the world.

Ah!

But what makes this potentially a good, we're not, a good chair is what it's made of.

Right.

OK?

Because this here, I don't expect you to know this, but this is yew wood.

Yeah.

OK?

And yew is really, really scarce.

VO: The wood of the long-lived yew tree has been used in Britain since ancient times.

There are believed to be 10 yew trees in this country which predate the 10th century.

Like, but what I love...

I love you.

I love yew.

Ahhhh!

Phil-sy!

VO: How sweet!

Lesson over, and they'd better browse on.

VO: Samantha and James, meanwhile, have driven to the town of Preston, where they're disembarking at Preston Antiques Centre - a cavernous old place with plenty to see.

VO: Now, what's Sam spied?

And let's have a look over in this corner, because I think they've got a lot of jewelry, and I've already spotted something that I really like.

JAMES: And what do you really like?

SAM: I think this is beautiful.

JAMES: What... SAM: So, this little chain mail handbag... Yeah.

..that's silver, isn't it?

Little evening bag, yeah.

I think that's beautiful.

JAMES: Sort of mesh.

Often made on the continent.

The French used to make a lot of these.

Mm-hm.

But they're brilliant.

VO: The mesh bag is a silver beauty.

It sports a 1905 hallmark, the height of Edwardian elegance.

But I could see myself actually using that now, SAM: on a night out... JAMES: Yeah, you could.

VO: Let's have a closer look, shall we?

God, it's a good weight.

Feel the weight of that.

So it's marked silver.

Yes.

Can you see the silver marks?

Yeah.

And it's got a maker's name, I think.

JAMES: Tiffany's.

SAM: Is it?

No.

(LAUGHS) Oh, I got excited then!

I'm so gullible... No, I'm sorry.

It suits you... Good for when... For a girls' night out with my cocktails.

Yeah.

That's really good, isn't it?

Fit my lipstick in there.

VO: It's priced at £95.

What could dealer Sue do?

The only thing I could knock off is about 15, £15... JAMES: 15.

We'll have a think about it.

VO: Well, that's one possible item for them.

How are the other team getting along in Longridge?

Looks like Gemma might've taken a shine to a little something.

GEMMA: I like this.

PHIL: Really?

Yeah.

Why?

I mean, actually, I do as well.

But why do you like - why?

GEMMA: This... is quirky and different, but it actually feels like it might be something... PHIL: OK. GEMMA: ..if that makes sense.

Well, it's 19th century, um... And it's made out of paper-mache.

GEMMA: Right.

VO: It's a snuff box, bearing the portrait of a rather serious-looking gent.

£33 on the ticket.

It doesn't remind you of me, does it?

Er...

I think that's probably why I gravitated towards it.

You know?

It's probably why I liked it.

Kids.

(LAUGHS) Working with kids.

But isn't that a good shout?

I actually really like that.

It's about 18... Somewhere, I would think, between about 1830 and 1860.

Possibly European.

VO: It seems to have the bona fides.

Dealer Ellie's now in their sights.

Stand by, Ellie.

Ellie, Ellie, Ellie.

How are you?

I'm fine, thank you.

I think that's really quite nice.

Alright, OK. Yeah.

Got a little bit of damage here, which is unfortunate... Yeah.

But, what could you do that for?

Help us out, look, cuz... 25?

Would you be averse to taking... Cuz it makes the maths so much easier if you could take 20.

It does.

And you don't have to get change.

20 would be fine.

PHIL: You sure?

ELLIE: Yeah.

Get the money out!

Quick, quick, quick!

(CHUCKLES) Before I change my mind.

Yeah, put it in my pocket... Oh, my God.

I love you.

PHIL: Really?

GEMMA: I mean, yew!

I love yew!

I love yew, we all love yew!

(LAUGHTER) You're a star.

GEMMA: That's amazing.

PHIL: Thank you ever so much.

ELLIE: That's OK. GEMMA: Thank you so much.

PHIL: Thank you ever so much.

ELLIE: OK. Well done you!

VO: You two, honestly!

Ha!

VO: Samantha and James, meanwhile, are still browsing back in Preston.

That's big.

Sam's lovely.

She's got an idea about what she's looking for, which is really useful.

VO: You're telling me!

With the silver bag already earmarked, does anything else take their fancy?

SAM: These are always lovely.

They're nice, aren't they?

What era would that be, then?

Probably late Victorian.

This is rather nice, with the poppies.

SAM: 63, five?

£65?

Is that... JAMES: It rings.

SAM: ..not bad?

It's not bad, is it?

It's fabulous.

Very pretty.

VO: The ceramic washstand jug and basin is by Staffordshire pottery maker Ridgeway.

SAM: It's really pretty.

I really like it.

Is that a contender?

JAMES: Could be.

SAM: Yeah?

JAMES: Why do you like it?

When I look at that, you know, all the period dramas, so, Downton Abbey.

It just brings me back to Downton that... JAMES: Downton Abbey!

..Downton Abbey!

It just reminds me of that.

It's beautiful.

It's a classic item... JAMES: Sold!

SAM: Sold!

JAMES: Sold!

SAM: Just be careful.

JAMES: Come on... SAM: Careful!

..come on.

Come on, come on, Mrs... whatever... (LAUGHS) ..starring role in Downton.

SAM: Don't you drop that!

JAMES: I won't.

VO: You tell him, Sam!

Time to catch up with dealer Sue.

Sue?

I think we've made our final decision.

Oh, brilliant!

So, and it's a good price, but I think we can maybe, maybe get it...

I think so.

What, what...

Yes.

What could magically happen on that, Sue?

That one has got 65.

That can be 45 today.

JAMES: Today!

SUE: It's 45... SAM: Bargain!

JAMES: Special price!

SAM: Is it just for me?

SUE: It's just for you.

VO: Sue's already reduced the silver bag to £80, but can she drop the price further still?

This one, I can't get hold of the owner of this.

Er...

Think out of the box here, Sue.

SUE: It... JAMES: What do you think...

It's normally a 10%...

I think he'd be keen to secure a deal.

Yeah.

SUE: 75, and that is...

So the best... ..double what I'd normally knock off.

Shall we go, shall we go for both of them, then?

Why not buy them both?

Yeah!

Let's just do it... JAMES: We've got the money.

SAM: Hey, we're in Preston.

JAMES: Come on.

SAM: I'm feeling lucky.

You're in Preston...

This is what people do.

Sue, we're going to buy them.

We are.

Have you got the cash?

I've got the cash.

VO: A bold bit of buying to start their trip means that they have two lots for £120 all-in.

And they're still raring to go.

Come on, we've got work to do!

OK!

Come on, let's go!

(CHUCKLES) Thank you!

Thank you very much...

Thank you, Sue.

Really kind.

SUE: ..thank you.

Thanks.

JAMES: Very kind.

VO: Now, Gemma and Phil have driven the 20 miles onwards to Blackpool!

MUSIC: "I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside" Well, look at this!

Here we are, Blackpool.

GEMMA: Here we are.

Did you used to come here as a child?

GEMMA: There's two significant times that I can remember, and going down this strip on a night-time with all the Blackpool illuminations.

VO: Today Blackpool remains a busy seaside resort, but our pair are here to learn about the town's heyday in the late Victorian period.

Look, there's the tower!

How cool is that?

And a tram!

GEMMA: Ooh!

Hey, can we go on a tram?

Well, I think we are going to go on a tram.

VO: You are!

Blackpool's trams are an icon of the town.

To learn more about them, they're meeting Blackpool Transport's Bryan Lindop.

Tell us, Bryan, what was Blackpool like in the 1890s?

What was going on?

Oh, it was the most exciting time you can ever imagine, in terms of dynamism, sheer inventiveness and entrepreneurialism.

It was fabulous.

Everything was happening.

Nothing was impossible.

We want an Eiffel Tower, great.

Let's build an Eiffel Tower.

BRYAN: Do you want a pier?

GEMMA: (CHUCKLES) Well, one's good, let's build three.

The Winter Gardens came along, the Pleasure Beach.

And, of course, we had the first electric street tramway in the British Isles.

Are those trams still around today?

Yeah, they are, actually.

Do you want to come and see them?

PHIL: Yes, please!

BRYAN: Right, let's go...

Absolutely.

VO: Blackpool's trams are still running today, making them not only our first electric trams, but also one of the oldest systems in the world.

Gemma and Philip are going to see one of the vintage trams they still maintain in working order.

Driver Dave can show them the ropes.

GEMMA: Can I do it...?

(HORN HONKS) Go on, do it.

(HONKS HORN) (LAUGHS) Sorry.

So, we... (LAUGH) We release the brake and apply the power simultaneously.

Yeah.

And we should move.

Alright?

Yeah.

GEMMA: (YELPS, LAUGHS) So, just nice and steady, Phil, while we're going round these points.

It is, this is amazing.

Then that goes forward...

I don't think he knows what he's doing.

VO: Do you know, you could be right.

But since Gemma doesn't have a driver's license, she can't operate the tram either.

Oh!

We're off, we're off!

VO: So it's Phil's lucky day.

Have you done this before, Phil?

Yeah.

You're driving a Blackpool tram, Phil.

One, two, three... GEMMA: He's a pro, isn't he?

DAVE: One, two... VO: On the deck of the tram, thankfully now stationary, Bryan can fill them in on how Blackpool's tram system developed.

The tramway opened in 1885, and it was...

Right.

..just a big success story, really, from then on.

And the secret of the success was basically their simplicity.

No clutch, no gearbox, no... no petrol, basically.

GEMMA: Yeah.

It was simple, cheap and very very accessible.

And did it coincide with the sort of the Blackpool boom, with the summer seekers and the holidayers?

And I guess it helped out in that respect as well.

BRYAN: It helped very much indeed.

I mean, Blackpool was already heaving by that time.

GEMMA: Yeah.

BRYAN: The tramway came along, I suppose, just when it was needed.

GEMMA: Right.

So to have something that was a mass people mover was an absolutely wonderful invention.

VO: But by the 1930s, tram systems all over the country were losing favor as petrol-fueled motor buses came into vogue.

In 1933, a new general manager, Walter Luff, was tasked with closing Blackpool's tramway down.

What he actually did was decide that the tramway was so special and so unique that it really needed to be saved.

So he convinced the council to actually invest in a completely new fleet of luxury tram cars.

VO: Luff modernized Blackpool's tramway, and in doing so, saved it.

But by the middle of the 20th century, Blackpool's trams were again under threat.

BRYAN: In line with most other municipalities around the country, Blackpool suffered very badly at the end of the Second World War, in that its infrastructure was entirely worn out.

In Blackpool's case, that was largely because the government requisitioned the engineering workshops to manufacture munitions.

And consequently, we weren't manufacturing and we weren't making tram cars, so everything wore out.

And of course, that was fatal for everywhere else, but not in Blackpool.

We still had faith with our vision to keep our tram cars.

And so the tramway infrastructure was again re-laid and, you know, the tram cars were fully restored.

By 1962, we were the only tramway operator left on the British mainland.

VO: Making Blackpool's both the earliest and last first-generation electric tram network in Britain.

Today, Bryan and his colleagues still preserve the town's vintage trams in their workshop.

GEMMA: So this is where the magic restoration happens?

BRYAN: Yes, it all happens in here.

Everything from putting a new set of tires onto a set of wheels, to restoring the bogies which they're mounted in and rebuilding a new underframe, or building a completely new tram if we have to.

We do it all in here.

VO: So, Blackpool Transport are still working hard to keep the town's historic tram network and Walter Luff's great legacy alive today.

Let's get back on the road, shall we?

Can I do a horny thing?

VO: If you must.

(HORN HONKS) VO: Whoops!

GEMMA: (LAUGHS) Hang on!

No, no, no, we end on a horn.

Come on.

(HONKS HORN) (LAUGHS) VO: She's at it again.

VO: Now, Sam and James - and cabby Ray, of course - are travelling on to the resort of Lytham St Annes, a few miles down the coast from Blackpool.

VO: Blimey, Ray, your meter must be racking up a hefty fare.

There's something... (LAUGHS) ..rather nice about black cabs, isn't there?

There is.

I mean, I would be lost without black cabs.

JAMES: Really?

I mean, the fact that they are the only accessible form of transport, so all black cabs have to have wheelchair access.

I...

I love black cabs.

And also, black cabbies, they're a little bit like my surrogate father... JAMES: (LAUGHS) They all look after me.

Yeah, and the great thing is they have an opinion, don't they?

They do!

Oh, they do.

Definitely.

JAMES: And they're keen to share it.

(LAUGHS) They are!

VO: I don't know, Ray's really kept his counsel so far.

Haven't you, Ray, hm?

They still have one more shop to tackle today.

SAM: Let's crack on.

Yeah.

Oh, this looks fun, doesn't it?

I know, it looks lovely.

How cool is this place...

Here we are.

Really cool.

VO: They're at Verdi Antiques.

What's that Sam's spotted?

SAM: Is that Margaret Thatcher?

No, it's not!

(LAUGHS) It's not?

Are you sure?

Well, he's got sideburns, for goodness' sake... (LAUGHS) She could have... VO: That, Sam, is a bust of the Austrian composer Schubert.

SAM: I knew that, really.

See, Schubert.

Come on then.

I'm just...

I'm just keeping you on your toes.

Yeah.

What do you say up here, "You daft apeth"?

(LAUGHS) What?

You daft... You daft... You daft git.

JAMES: And then we've got lots of mirrors and things.

See, I really like this.

°Signs...

I've actually got a lot of these plaques myself, and they're great for kitchens... JAMES: Yeah.

..or, or like it is on a brick wall like this.

But I'm quite intrigued at the one in the middle.

What is that, do you think?

What, the one at the top?

SAM: Yeah.

It's unusual... JAMES: Yeah, that's fun, isn't it?

And it's an in and out board, isn't it?

It's beautifully written, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

Lovely sign writing, that.

I like "ARP".

That's Air Raid Patrol, isn't it?

SAM: It is, yeah.

VO: Air raid precautions, James.

The sign they've spotted certainly dates from the Second World War and seems to have served as an entry board at a local authority office building.

But what would you use it for?

Decoration.

SAM: I like it.

It's quirky.

I think that's nice.

Yeah?

OK. Price.

Price me... Price.

VO: Dealer David can help with that.

JAMES: Can you tell us a bit about this?

It's come from a collector.

I got it from a collector last week.

What's your price on it, David?

That one is 125.

125.

Yes.

And is there movement on that price, David?

I could do some movement for you, yes.

Ooh!

Movement.

We like that... Movement, we like movement.

JAMES: Could that be just under 100?

DAVID: 95?

JAMES: I think that sounds good.

SAM: I think that's good.

DAVID: I think it is.

JAMES: Do you want... SAM: Yeah.

Do you want to shake Sam's hand?

Shake my hand, quick.

DAVID: Well, of course!

JAMES: We're doing a deal... Watch your... Watch your toes!

Watch your toes!

JAMES: Watch your toes.

SAM: Deal!

DAVID: Deal.

(CHUCKLES) SAM: Great.

Bargain.

JAMES: Well, that's really good.

VO: They've landed another, bang on target, but they've not finished yet.

Oh, no.

SAM: I quite like the mirror.

It's quite kitsch, but I quite like it.

Yeah, they're... What are they called?

JAMES: They're Barbola mirrors.

SAM: Barbola.

Which...

They used to be really trendy.

When I started in the auction business... SAM: Yeah.

..Italian dealers used to buy these.

JAMES: But this is really nice.

VO: Barbola dressing table mirrors are typically molded with small models of fruit or flowers.

They were popular with the smart set in the 1930s to the 1950s.

What do you think?

If you're going to buy a Barbola mirror, this is the one.

Yeah?

JAMES: I think it's really nice.

SAM: I quite like that.

Anyway, it's got no price tag on it.

We'll have to ask David.

Yeah.

David.

David?

Yes, Samantha?

David!

We need your assistance again... Sure, how can I help?

Your mirror, for your mirror... For this lovely mirror, what do you reckon?

That's £35, that one.

£35?

SAM: 35... And can you knock off a fiver?

Of course I can.

Knock off a fiver... Fiver.

Look at you.

See, the haggler.

Hey!

I'm coming out now, an antiques dealer... JAMES: I think that's really good.

SAM: I like it.

JAMES: £30?

Yeah.

30, and then... JAMES: £30.

SAM: ..90?

JAMES: 95.

SAM: 95.

Show him the money.

Show... You've got the money!

VO: Provided James can dig out the funds, they've got the quirky Second World War signage and that Barbola mirror for £125, all in.

Good work, chaps.

And with that, they've come to the end of a delightfully summery first day on the Road Trip.

Well, it's beautiful.

I think we've come at the perfect time.

It is.

Well, the sun's shining...

The sun's out.

..it's fabulous.

PHIL: Which way's Morecambe?

I've absolutely no idea.

You don't know?

GEMMA: No, my direction skills are really bad.

Have you not got Google Maps?

No.

VO: Well, we'll see you all in the morning - assuming you haven't gone stray, you two.

Sleep tight, eh?

(CHUCKLES) VO: Ah!

Still, there.

(CHUCKLES) Phew-y!

GEMMA: So how did you get on yesterday?

Oh, do you know, it was amazing.

I've fallen in love with James.

He's such a gentleman.

We've got some goodies, so that's good.

Good start.

It's a lovely day, James, isn't it?

JAMES: Glorious, isn't it... PHIL: So... ..England at its finest.

So go on.

What sort of day did you have, then?

JAMES: I had a good day.

VO: He did.

In the taxi, still driven by the redoubtable cabby Ray, the girls are catching up on yesterday's hauls.

Blackpool, how was that?

I love Blackpool.

It was amazing.

SAM: What did you buy, then?

Are you ready?

SAM: Kiss me quick!

GEMMA: Kiss me quick!

Em, that's not an antique, though, is it, Gem?

Did you actually buy any antiques, though, Gemma?

GEMMA: Yeah.

SAM: At all?

Yeah, you did?

Yeah.

We bought, erm, one thing.

SAM: One thing?!

GEMMA: Yeah.

OK, that's fine.

VO: And their one item only cost them a paltry £20.

£20?!

GEMMA: (LAUGHS) Yes!

SAM: What did you...?

Did you just go to one of them machines where you've got a grabber and it picks up a teddy bear?

Oh, God, that would've been... (LAUGHS) ..so much better.

I don't think I'm giving the game away if I tell you I've got £380 left.

£380... JAMES: That's a lot of money.

PHIL: It is.

VO: It is.

So they better get a move on.

GEMMA: I want to crack on.

I want to...

I want to get to our next destination because... SAM: I know.

..as we've discussed, I've got a lot to do.

You have got a lot to do.

(LAUGHS) Here we are!

GEMMA: Time.

VO: Time for the teams to have a sneak peek at each other's lots.

GEMMA: Come on.

JAMES: What?

We're excited.

I want to see.

PHIL: Let's see yours first.

Come on.

Let's crack on.

..ours first.

Ours first, OK. SAM: I mean, we're brilliant, aren't we?

JAMES: Here we are.

Gemma... SAM: Ta-da!

..go on, handle the goods.

SAM: Gemma, two hands...

I do!

SAM: Two hands.

(GAVEL) OK.

I mean, those used to be really saleable, didn't they?

JAMES: Yeah.

SAM: Used to be!

They get, they... (LAUGHS) I'll tell you what.

An en-suite bathroom costs about... SAM: Yes.

JAMES: ..15 grand.

You can buy that for 40.

VO: £45, actually, James.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) SAM: OK, Gemma.

(CLANKING) Ooh... Oh, gosh!

JAMES: Steady, steady.

GEMMA: I can't handle this.

PHIL: Don't... No, don't, don't, don't.

Leave it there, honestly.

JAMES: Leave them.

VO: Sam and James also bought the silver mesh bag and the Barbola mirror.

They still have £155 left to play with.

But what about Gemma and Philip's solitary item?

Are you ready for this?

Yeah, come on.

Are you ready?

JAMES: Ah, is it this fellow?

PHIL: Yeah, a little 19th-century snuff box.

Paper-mache.

I must say, as images go, ugly old men don't rate high up, do they?

Do you know what?

Gemma said to me, "This reminds me of James..." Let's have a look.

Did you?

JAMES: I don't wear a monocle!

SAM: Did you?

I think he's referring to the fact you said he was an ugly man, James.

SAM: (LAUGHS) JAMES: Oh... GEMMA: Not trying to point it out too much.

..Philip.

How dare you!

VO: Gemma and Philip still have £380 to spend.

We've got one item.

JAMES: Yeah.

PHIL: And you've got four.

But I can only see three, unless you've got the other... JAMES: Here comes the fourth.

PHIL: Really, what's that?

JAMES: Ray.

The magic Ray... PHIL: Ray?

SAM: Come on, Ray!

PHIL: Oh...

Here we are.

Look at this.

Look at this.

PHIL: I've got to tell you... SAM: Ah!

Ray, the bearer of the board.

We haven't got a Ray, have we, Gemma?

We haven't got a Ray at all!

PHIL: We want a Ray... Cuz we're special.

We're special.

VO: There's only one Ray to go around, and he's silent.

Now, the sign.

SAM: What do you reckon?

PHIL: That's cool, love that.

JAMES: That's cool, isn't it?

SAM: Yeah.

How much did you pay for that?

95.

Do you know, for a minute, I thought you said £95.

PHIL: Did you?

JAMES: Yeah.

Really?

JAMES: Yeah, it's good money, that.

I like it.

Quality doesn't come cheap, you know.

VO: Wise words, James.

SAM: Right.

Come on, James.

GEMMA: Philip, round this way... SAM: We're off!

VO: Hey, you're forgetting Ray!

That's not right.

He hasn't been paid and you've taken his taxi.

Cor!

SAM: James, what's happened to Ray?

JAMES: He's gone.

I've fired him.

SAM: Right, I'm a bit worried about you driving.

Why?

Remember, you've got precious cargo on board, and I'm not talking about the antiques... JAMES: I know, I'm just...

I'm very conscious of that.

I'm going to drive... SAM: Yes, slow.

JAMES: ..very carefully.

VO: I'm glad to hear it.

And in the other car, Phil wants to learn a bit more about Gemma.

I'm going to be serious now, cuz life hasn't always been a barrel of laughs for you, has it?

GEMMA: Oh, that was seamless!

PHIL: It was.

Em, no.

No, it's not.

VO: Today, she's a passionate campaigner for mental health awareness.

But Gemma suffered severely from an eating disorder in her early years.

You know, it's a miracle that I'm here today, and it's because of my parents that I am.

And one of the things that I've prided myself on is I don't like to have regrets.

I feel sad for what I put my family... and the heartache that I put them through.

But I always say you can grow flowers where dirt used to be.

Yeah.

So if you can use the bad experiences and turn them into good, then that's all you can ask out of life.

VO: Very admirable attitude, Gemma.

VO: This morning, these two are driving towards the outskirts of the coastal town of Morecambe, where they're heading for their first shop of the day.

PHIL: This looks massive, doesn't it?

Well, good, cuz the pressure is on.

We're 4-1 down, aren't we, in the buying stakes?

Yes.

And we've got 380 quid.

VO: So with plenty of cash, but the clock ticking, they're off into GG Antiques.

VO: This place is huge.

Gosh!

(WHISPERS) Oh, my God!

VO: Hm.

So they're going to have to concentrate!

In one door, out the other door.

In one door, out the other door.

There you go.

This is television.

Look at that.

At long last, it looks like Gemma might have spied something.

Halton.

Is that near the auction house?

I like that a lot.

I don't know why, but when has any of what... my reasoning been for a reason?

VO: Makes sense.

Halton.

Right, hang on.

VO: Perhaps dealer Steve can advise.

GEMMA: Steve?

STEVE: Yeah?

You got a minute, please, love?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

I like this a lot.

Yeah, it's a good thing, that, Gemma, yeah.

And I think it's a railway sign, that.

GEMMA: It's not too far from the auction house.

Have many people looked at it?

Nobody's seen it.

It's kind of been buried at the back of there.

GEMMA: I love it.

STEVE: It's alright.

But...

I don't know where Phil is, and we're getting a little bit tight on time.

Yeah?

So, what is... your very very best price on this?

I'll tell you what, Gemma, I'll sell you that... 50 quid.

It's alright.

I promise you, it's alright.

I'm just a little bit scared about... STEVE: Don't be.

Buy it, lass.

GEMMA: Deal.

STEVE: You'll do alright with it.

GEMMA: Do you reckon?

VO: A tentative first solo purchase from Gemma.

And meanwhile... (WHEEL SQUEAKS) (LAUGHS) How good is this?

Wow!

What an entrance!

Oh, wow.

Do you know what?

I think that is absolutely lovely.

PHIL: Do you like it?

GEMMA: I love it.

There's no price tag on it, so let's go and have a word with the dealer.

Yep.

See what we can do, yeah?

Yeah.

Do...?

Come on, then, off we go.

Yeah?

No?

What?

(LAUGHS) I...

I have just got something... What?

GEMMA: That down there.

PHIL: Yeah?

But I didn't ask you before I got it, so we're 50 quid down.

What, that sign?

Yeah.

Oh, don't, because I was trying to be... You know, actually... No, I think that's... You bought that for 50 quid?

GEMMA: Yeah.

PHIL: You know... No, no, listen, listen, listen.

No, no, listen, you don't need me!

PHIL: Really.

GEMMA: Really?

Yeah, no, that's good.

Really?

PHIL: You really don't need me.

GEMMA: Yeah?

PHIL: Off you go, come on... GEMMA: Yeah?

PHIL: ..get out of here.

GEMMA: (GIGGLES) PHIL: Kids... GEMMA: Yes!

Yes!

VO: No small praise, that, from Phil, the king of off-piste buys.

And they're still browsing.

PHIL: Quite like that old cart up there.

GEMMA: (LAUGHS) VO: Oh, crikey, really?

Oh, my giddy aunt.

It's a donkey!

MUSIC: "Little Donkey" by Nina and Frederik # Little donkey, little donkey, # on the dusty road... # We can't leave him.

You really want to buy that?

Oh, can we?

Is it...?

Hang on a minute, hang on a minute.

Is it worth anything?

Well, yeah, it is.

I think it's a really cool thing.

I like it.

I can... GEMMA: Are you seriously entertaining this idea?

Yeah, I am.

I am.

I'd buy that, but then I buy some very strange things sometimes.

VO: You said it, mate.

(CHUCKLES) There's no ticket price on that miniature child's wheelbarrow, or this large fiberglass donkey.

Can you give Steve a bellow?

Steve?

Ste...?

STEVE: Yeah.

Oh.

Eh... STEVE: Yeah?

GEMMA: Kommen Sie hier.

Erm, we need to talk to you... about... Good, isn't he?

# ..this little donkey.

# Is it a mule or an ass or a donkey?

I think it's an ass.

VO: You're standing at the right end, mate.

You've got, like, a little galvanized child's wheelbarrow.

Oh, it's cute, that, isn't it?

GEMMA: Yeah.

PHIL: It is sweet, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

We've kind of fallen in love with both of them, haven't we?

GEMMA: Yeah.

STEVE: I'm in love with it.

PHIL: Are you?

GEMMA: Are you?

PHIL: That's a bad sign... STEVE: Yeah, I love it.

I love it, yeah.

Er, if we said to you, "What's your very very best deal that you can do if we bought the two?"

And we'll either go yes or no - how does that sound?

STEVE: I'll tell you what I'll do.

PHIL: Yeah.

STEVE: Don't cringe.

320 quid.

And that's the absolute finish, is it?

Yeah.

It means we've got 10 quid left, if we go with this.

You know, in for a penny, in for a donkey.

I'm up for it if you are.

PHIL: Cheers, matey, thank you.

So, what we'll do... GEMMA: Brilliant!

STEVE: Thank you.

PHIL: We'll... You'll be alright with them.

We'll put the donkey in at £200, and the wheelbarrow in at 120 quid, how does that sound?

Yeah, whatever you think...

Which leaves us a tenner.

GEMMA: A tenner left, but do you know what?

PHIL: Yeah?

GEMMA: Let's go for it... Money well spent, I think this is so much fun.

Thank you for helping us.

My love, there it is.

STEVE: Thanks, Gemma.

GEMMA: A done deal... STEVE: Thanks, Phil.

And we're going to think of a name.

I... Do you know what I think?

What about "James"?

I was going to say that!

(THEY LAUGH) Great minds think alike!

Absolutely... PHIL: James.

GEMMA: ..that's James.

STEVE: Good old James.

PHIL: Yeah.

VO: Samantha and the other James are still in the black taxi.

I'm so worried about Ray.

And James is practicing the knowledge.

Where are you off to, love?

SAM: Where are you off to?

JAMES: Where are you off to...?

(LAUGHS) Are you...?

What, the West End?

VO: You're nowhere near, mate.

You're a terrible cabbie.

They're driving to the city of Lancaster this morning.

I tell you what, you'd never guess who I had in the back.

SAM: (LAUGHS) JAMES: You'd never guess.

That, that Samantha Renke, that's... JAMES: What?

SAM: ..who you had... That Samantha?

SAM: Samantha Renke, there you go.

JAMES: Yeah.

SAM: No, I... Never stopped... Never stopped talking!

SAM: (LAUGHS) JAMES: Couldn't get a word in.

I know, terrible, isn't she?

Chatterbox.

VO: In the nicest possible way, Sam.

So, Samantha, when did you get into this acting lark?

Gosh, I've always been a bit of a drama queen.

I've always loved singing and performing for other people.

You know, I'm quite an extrovert, and so... JAMES: Yeah.

..I think it's definitely been in my blood.

JAMES: I'm going to take you on a diversion.

What do you mean?

Where are we going?

It's going to be really fun.

It... You are going to love it.

It's got, it's got theater in bundles.

VO: Sam and James are heading for the Lancaster Grand theater, where they're meeting chairman Mike Hardy.

Mike, I hear that the Lancaster Grand is one of the oldest theaters in the whole of the country.

MIKE: Well, it was built in 1781, and opened in 1782.

And a couple of guys called Whitlock and Austin had several theaters in this area that they were running, and they decided that this city was ripe for having a theater.

And the concept of this theater was born through them.

VO: The theater here in Lancaster attracted the cream of British theatrical talent.

Amongst others, Charles Dickens and the celebrated actress Sarah Siddons brought plays here.

But Sam and James are here to learn about another legend who graced the Grand's stage.

One of the other figures that came here that's quite famous was a person called Joseph Grimaldi, and he made a major impact in the world of clowning.

VO: The clown is an entertainment icon that's been with us for generations, so it's easy to forget that this fun-loving character had to be invented.

MUSIC: "Entry Of The Gladiators" by Julius Fucik VO: In the early 19th century, it was Joseph Grimaldi who first dreamt up the classic clown persona.

And inside the auditorium, here's modern clown Martin.

(SQUEALS) Hello!

(CACKLES) VO: Hello!

Oh!

Oh!

Thank you.

SAM: Oh!

Ta-da!

(THEY CHEER) Yay!

SAM: Mike, can you tell us a little bit more about Grimaldi?

MIKE: Yeah, he was from Italian descent, and his grandfather moved from Italy to England in the 1730s.

He... His grandfather was in acting, as was his father, and what was interesting was that his father involved him in acting from the age of three.

And apparently, there's a report that he swung his child round on a chain above his head, and the chain broke and he ended up in the orchestra pit, which I think was a forerunner to some of the things that Grimaldi himself used to do when he grew up.

Sadly, erm, his father died, Grimaldi's father died, when he was aged nine, and he became the main breadwinner in the family after that.

Gradually, he became more and more popular, more and more famous, and he started to bring a different approach to pantomime, as it was, in those days.

VO: In the early 19th century, English pantomime was a type of performance incorporating dance, song and the harlequinade, which used stock characters to tell a light-hearted and amusing story.

Joseph Grimaldi took the traditional character of the fool or clown and made it his own.

He changed...

The costume he wore was much brighter, it had got stars and shapes on it, irregular shapes.

He also invented a thing which has become very famous since then.

He was the first person to paint...

He painted all his face white, and his chest white, and he drew on his cheeks triangles in bright colors.

And he also painted the well-known, classic clown's mouth... ..where, it doesn't matter what you're doing, you're smiling.

And that became the iconic feature of what he left in his legacy.

VO: Grimaldi effectively invented the clown as we know him now, and became famous doing it.

The legacy he'd left in theater in terms of the pantomime, and clowns, and it lives on to this very day.

And that's the hat, is it?

Is that the hat?

VO: Oh, lordy.

JAMES: Ah.

VO: Oh, no!

Right, OK.

Follow me, sir... Shall we go...?

Do you want to put a bit of makeup on him?

No.

A bit of makeup.

VO: Now, Martin and Sam will help James get into character.

Right, let's make you up, yes?

Right, get that, and you want to dab it.

OK, we've got this.

Come, come to me, my darling!

Oh, God, yes.

And we're dabbing.

It's not very even.

I'm not very good at this, am I?

Hey, be gentle, girl!

(LAUGHS) Sorry!

Attacking me!

Right, a little bit more on the lips.

There we go.

Perfect.

Is it?

My work here is done.

Right... Don't hate me!

Right, come on, then, boy.

I hope it's good work.

Right, walk this way...

This is my first rehearsal.

MIKE: (LAUGHS) First rehearsal.

VO: Roll up, roll up - it's Brackers, the clown!

Right, OK, turn round, sir.

Come here, that's great.

No, no, that way.

That way, OK. SAM: (LAUGHS) No, no, this way.

Which...

Yes, look, no.

And you go like that.

Then you go to the... (DRUM AND CYMBAL CRASH) SAM: (CHEERS) JAMES: (LAUGHS) Throw the balls in the air...

Right.

..and catch them, OK?

So, are we ready?

OK.

Right.

Hold on... MARTIN: And... JAMES: Oh... Juggle!

(LAUGHS) Yes, very good.

Very good!

JAMES: Oh!

MARTIN: Absolutely... JAMES: Very good.

SAM: (LAUGHS) MARTIN: One, two.

JAMES: Very...

Bow!

Bow!

JAMES: (YELLS) SAM: (LAUGHS) JAMES: Wow.

MARTIN: Yes!

Thank you.

SAM: (CHUCKLES) SAM: Well done, boys!

Bravo!

MARTIN: Thank you, thank you!

Yes!

One more... VO: Good show, James!

I wouldn't give up your day job, old boy!

Gemma and Philip are back on the road, and en route to their absolutely crucial last stop.

Oh, the tension!

Happy?

Yeah, yeah, no, I think...

I'm nervous.

Je ne regrette rien?

No, no, no.

No, it's all good.

I have every faith in us, Phil.

I think, I think we're going to nail it.

VO: They're travelling on to the village of Ingleton on the edge of the Pennines.

Here, these two are visiting Lords Antiques & Salvage for one last buying hurrah.

PHIL: Well, here we go.

GEMMA: Let's do this!

VO: But, just as they're getting familiar with the place, look who it is.

SAM: Come on, James.

JAMES: No change.

SAM: We can do this.

JAMES: We can do it.

VO: This is a sizeable place, so hopefully there's enough room for all four of them.

GEMMA: Hello.

Hello.

PHIL: How are you getting on?

SAM: Ooh!

GEMMA: How are you getting on?

Fancy meeting you here!

Ah!

How are you doing?

JAMES: How're you getting on?

How're you doing, alright?

Oh, I tell you, I mean... No, we can't... Oh, it...

It's tough, isn't it?

It's tough.

SAM: It is tough...

It's tough.

It's choice, isn't it?

JAMES: It's like a supermarket.

SAM: Too much.

We've had a busy morning... SAM: What's going on?

GEMMA: We've had a very busy... SAM: Clearly.

GEMMA: ..morning.

They look a little smug...

They do look a bit... ..don't they?

Don't they look smug...?

I think it's poker-face.

PHIL: Have no part in this.

SAM: Poker-face.

Have no part in this.

I'm not giving away anything...

They look a bit pleased with themselves... No, no, I don't believe them.

We'll see at auction.

VO: Look up - the game is on.

The teams are now shopping with vastly different budgets.

Sam and James have a generous £155...

I'm a bit anxious.

I want it to be a good buy.

I think we've got some good pieces, but we've got quite a bit of money to spend, and the shop is going to close in 50 minutes, which doesn't give us that much time.

So I think we need to really kind of be quite sharpish.

And get...

I'm going to get a jiggle on.

VO: ..while Gemma and Phil only have a measly £10 note left.

Struggling here.

I know we don't have to spend it, but like I said... ..a Hull girl never gives change.

VO: The clock is ticking.

SAM: I'm a little bit overwhelmed now.

Don't worry.

Something will become apparent.

This is tricky, isn't it?

Yeah, it is, actually.

James, what exactly are we looking for?

You wanted something really old, didn't you?

Ancient.

That is proper... (LAUGHS) PHIL: Come on.

It was...

It was just, it was eight quid, that's all... Come on.

Come...

Eight quid!

Eight quid!

Concentrate... GEMMA: Sorry.

PHIL: ..please.

What have you seen?

JAMES: Age.

SAM: Age?

Where's the age?

SAM: You looking in the mirror?

(LAUGHS) Hey!

Hey, cheeky, hey?

VO: But what's this?

SAM: Oh, the...

This little table here?

Yeah.

The gilt fellow, do you like it?

Yeah.

And you know, I could see our mirror going on there as well.

Very... Yeah.

It's very glam.

Isn't it?

It's glam.

So, if we look at the back here... SAM: Yes.

..this is sort of 19th century Victorian.

SAM: Mm-hm.

VO: Yeah, so the little side, or wine, table does have a bit of age to it.

So, this would have been a fire screen and it... Mm-hm.

..often in pairs, it would have gone up on a pole with a tripod base.

And this may well have been the base to it, and they've just lost the cylindrical... SAM: Ah!

JAMES: ..shaft.

SAM: I really think it's pretty.

JAMES: It's glittery, it's decorative, isn't it?

SAM: And it's, it's not too big, so someone could quite happily have that in their home as a side table.

JAMES: It would be great.

SAM: You know?

JAMES: It's rather fun, isn't it?

SAM: Yeah, I like it.

VO: The price on the ticket is £78.

See what the man might give us.

SAM: Yes.

JAMES: So, I'll take it...

Right, you grab that.

I'll get hold of me.

JAMES: You're self-propelled.

SAM: Right.

Go on, lead the way.

Out we go.

VO: Dealer Carl's the man to assist.

SAM: Hello!

CARL: Hiya.

Are you our man?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Definitely, today.

Here you are, mate.

The repurposed table.

What's the best you could do that for?

It needs to be a good 'un.

60.

Shall I say shake the man's hand?

Yes, shake it for me... Go on.

Well done, chief.

Thanks a lot... SAM: Thank you, my darling.

VO: Sam and James have their final item, with cash to spare.

But Gemma and Phil are still determined to spend every last button.

I'll tell you what, Gemma, look - I've got the horn now, look.

GEMMA: (GASPS) PHIL: (HOOTS HORN) (THEY LAUGH) How cool is that?

How much is that?

GEMMA: Don't do that!

PHIL: Right...

But give me it here.

You know I love a good horn.

PHIL: Yeah, oh, absolutely.

GEMMA: (HOOTS HORN) How much is it?

Oh my, if it's just 10... 30... it's £36.

VO: Too rich for their blood, sadly.

PHIL: There's a charity box here.

I'll keep 'em talking, you nick the money out of it!

(LAUGHS) VO: Phil!

Perish the thought!

Thing is, I don't want to put too much pressure on us, but I would like to... PHIL: We must... Well, we... GEMMA: Go on... Ooh...

It'd be nice to spend all our money, wouldn't it?

You seen this?

That looks like it could have a variety of uses.

GEMMA: The reason I'm drawn to it is because I sing... PHIL: Yeah.

..and I've got a steamer... PHIL: Yeah.

GEMMA: ..at home.

VO: It's a little inhaler pot for steaming the nasal cavities.

Nice.

If you've got a run in a show or you've got an audition or, like, pantomime absolutely kills my voice.

And you're feeling a bit tired vocally, you'll do some steaming with hot water night before.

GEMMA: What do you think?

PHIL: Well, it's French, isn't it?

It's French, it's enameled, And I would think... Well, I'm certainly older than that, and you might be.

PHIL: But, how much is it...?

GEMMA: Yeah.

VO: There's no price ticket on it.

PHIL: What would you pay for it?

GEMMA: A tenner.

Go on.

Go and do your worst.

If you're happy, I'm happy.

VO: It belongs to dealer Bretton.

PHIL: Good sir... BRETTON: Yes.

Now you know that we've only got a tenner, don't you?

Yes, I do.

How much is that, please?

Well, it is off my stand, so... Is it yours?

..I guess I'd be rude not to do it for a tenner.

GEMMA: Thank you, my love.

PHIL: Yeah, cheers.

GEMMA: Tenner it is... PHIL: You're a star.

GEMMA: Right.

I'm glad you found something.

Are you ready?

We can go out home and hosed.

..done.

Let's go and give the others a bit of stick, shall we?

Absolutely.

PHIL: This way?

Are they down here?

JAMES: (LAUGHS) Right, see you at the auction.

VO: With that, it's the end of another jam-packed day on the Road Trip.

Sweet dreams, everyone.

VO: But nothing could keep these trippers off the trail for long, and they're soon back on the road and ready for battle.

No, it'll be a fun day.

I am excited.

No, actually, I'm feeling the pressure a little bit now.

Why?

Well, because I've been giving it like... Like I'm going to win all...

Right from the beginning.

GEMMA: It's been an eye-opener.

SAM: I know!

GEMMA: Learning so much... SAM: Yeah, of course.

GEMMA: ..from, like, Phil and James.

SAM: Of course.

Because if you think about it, it's more on their shoulders than ours.

Yeah.

Cuz we can just go "well, we don't know, we're not experts."

SAM: But they kind of are.

GEMMA: Yeah.

SAM: So they're... GEMMA: (LAUGHS) Kind of?

They are!

(LAUGHS) Oh, yeah, they actually they are!

(LAUGHS) Not kind of!

Semi.

Well, we'll soon find out, won't we?

SAM: We'll soon find... VO: You will.

On this road trip, both our teams began in Longridge, Lancashire, and are now headed for auction in Crooklands, Cumbria.

Well, I think it could be our day today, Phil.

PHIL: Well... SAM: Hello, boys!

JAMES: Hello!

SAM: Hello!

We're here to win... How's my lovely lady?

Come on... GEMMA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SAM: Are you ready?

JAMES: ..come on!

VO: Best get inside, then.

Both our teams started this trip with £400.

Gemma and Philip bought five lots with every last pound of their budget, half of which went on this beast.

This is the donkey.

Wow!

They've made an ass of themselves, haven't they?

I...

They paid quite good money for this.

VO: While Samantha and James spent £305 and also have five lots in today's sale.

This is a typical Braxton glitzy table.

Yeah, but Phil... Is it a donkey?

VO: (LAUGHS) No, it's a table!

Do keep up.

Here at 1818 Auctioneers, the saleroom's filling up.

Auctioneer Bill Nelson presides today.

What does he make of their lots?

James, the fiberglass donkey... he is absolutely awesome!

He's wonderful.

He's a talking point.

Everyone loves James.

The in and out board I just think is fantastic.

It's quirky, it's interesting.

Hopefully it'll do very well.

VO: All very positive.

Marvey!

Are you ready for this?

This is exciting.

It is, isn't it, will be.

VO: First up, it's Samantha and James' silver mesh evening bag.

Can it attract a sterling profit?

At £50, I'm bid.

At £50, at five... JAMES: Well done, sir.

SAM: Ooh!

AUCTIONEER: ..five.

At £65, I'm bid... SAM: Oh, oh, oh!

JAMES: Keep going.

SAM: Keep going!

AUCTIONEER: £65 I'm bid... JAMES: 70.

AUCTIONEER: At 65, 65... SAM: (LAUGHS) JAMES: 70.

At £65 I'm bid... SAM: We can do it!

JAMES: 70.

Worth more than that.

Come on.

AUCTIONEER: At £65... JAMES: 65.

AUCTIONEER: I'm selling at 65... JAMES: Five.

AUCTIONEER: ..pounds, and... SAM: No!

(GAVEL) VO: Oh, bad luck, you two.

GEMMA: (LAUGHS) PHIL: Would I be right...?

What happened, what happened there?

It was supposed to go a bit further.

VO: Next, it's Gemma and Phil's nasal inhaler.

Will it sniff out a profit?

£10 I'm bid, at 10, at 12.

At £15 with me.

Well, £15 - profit.

Well, at least if they can't see it, they might not know how bad it is.

£15, at 15, at 15, at 15... GEMMA: Go on!

£15, at £15, at £15... GEMMA: Oh my God.

SAM: I don't believe it.

You'll regret it if you have an asthma attack!

(LAUGHS) At £15, at £15... JAMES: Oh, that's nice.

AUCTIONEER: I'm going to sell... PHIL: Yeah.

AUCTIONEER: ..at 15.

(GAVEL) VO: A tidy little £5 win from the off.

Well done.

That was a maiden bid of 15.

It's just a profit.

GEMMA: Boom.

JAMES: 15.

PHIL: Just a profit.

JAMES: That...

It's easy!

VO: One for Sam and James now - their Barbola mirror.

How will it reflect on their shopping?

It's very Holly... Holly-"wood".

VO: But "wood" you bid on it?

At £12 I'm bid.

At 12, 15... JAMES: It's alright... PHIL: £12, £12.

JAMES: ..it's not life or death.

SAM: Pay attention!

22.

25.

28.

JAMES: 30!

AUCTIONEER: 28, it's... SAM: No, come on!

GEMMA: Sh!

AUCTIONEER: 28.

JAMES: 30!

At 28.

At £28 I'm bid, at 28.

At £28 and selling... At... GEMMA: Just put it down!

AUCTIONEER: ..£28.

(GAVEL) VO: Oh, blast!

It just misses its cost price.

Did James make you buy that?

I... we both liked it.

SAM: We both liked it.

JAMES: We both liked it... We both liked it.

Team effort!

JAMES: Team effort!

SAM: (LAUGHS) VO: Now, Gemma and Philip's snuff box.

£20 bid.

At 20, at £20 I'm bid... JAMES: You got a bid of 20?!

AUCTIONEER: ..22.

22.

Sh!

Five.

25.

At £25 I'm bid... You've jinxed us now.

At 25, 28, 30... SAM: Still... GEMMA: Yes!

It's only money, sir.

At £30 I'm bid, at 30.

At 30... Yeah.

It's only money but it's his money!

JAMES: ..at £30... AUCTIONEER: £30!

£30, at £30.

On the market, I'm selling at £30... GEMMA: Oh, good.

(GAVEL) I think you'll find that's a profit.

(LAUGHS) VO: And a profit like that is nothing to sneeze at!

I'm not impressed.

Rack 'em and stack 'em... Bingo.

Rack 'em and stack 'em.

VO: The wine table made from a 19th century fire screen for Sam and James now.

£30 to start me.

Yes.

Get in... £30.

£30, surely.

JAMES: Go on.

I think that that's really cheap.

So do I.

Thank you, sir.

At £30 I'm bid, at 30.

At 30... Drop the hammer.

Drop the hammer.

Drop the hammer... At £30, I'm bid.

At 32.

32.

32... PHIL: Drop the hammer.

AUCTIONEER: Five.

35... PHIL: Drop the hammer.

AUCTIONEER: ..35.

At 30.

It's going down, I'm afraid.

And selling at £35.

(GAVEL) VO: And that lot goes up in flames.

JAMES: It's cheap, isn't it?

SAM: I'm blaming you.

Blame me.

VO: Blame him, Sam.

Gemma and Phil loved the Halton railway sign.

But will the buyers be on board?

At 60, £60 I'm bid.

For Halton... Tenner profit.

Another profit.

At £60, I'm bid.

At 60, 65 and 70.

At 75 and 80.

Five.

£85 I'm bid.

85... JAMES: 85.

AUCTIONEER: 85.

85.

PHIL: Rack 'em and stack 'em... AUCTIONEER: £85 I'm bid.

At 85, at 85 and selling... JAMES: That's a lot of money.

AUCTIONEER: At 85... (GAVEL) ..pound.

VO: Just the ticket.

It's a local profit for local people.

Do you remember that, that, that, erm... That little...?

Have you bribed someone?

..that comic, was it Look And Learn?

There was a comic, wasn't there?

Look And Learn.

Look And Learn.

Well, just look and learn.

I don't like this.

VO: That's the luck of the saleroom, Sam.

But James and Sam have another chance to clean up some profit now with their jug and wash bowl.

I've got a tenner bid.

A tenner with me.

A £10 bid.

At 10.

12.

Oh, is it... GEMMA: Are these you?

AUCTIONEER: 15, 18... SAM: Us?

All around us, all around us.

20 with me on the internet.

Keep going, keep going!

22.

25.

28.

30... Come on!

(LAUGHS) AUCTIONEER: 32.

SAM: God!

32 in the room.

At £32... Keep going!

Looks like James is having a fit.

Come on, people!

(LAUGHS) James, James... At £32 and selling at 32.

We're keeping our powder dry.

(LAUGHS) VO: Very dry, apparently!

But Sam and James still have one more lot to turn this around.

I'm very disappointed in you.

(LAUGHS) Well... VO: Consider yourself on a first warning, James!

The child's wheelbarrow that stole Philip's heart now.

Is he next for the chop?

At £70 I'm bid.

At £70 for the galvanized wheelbarrow.

75.

In the room at 75.

80.

No!

80.

You can't just have one bid, sir!

£80 I'm bid, at £80, at £80.

At 80, at 80, at 80.

Put it down, put it down... AUCTIONEER: At £80 for the wheelbarrow.

..put it down.

At £80 and selling... You'd do well with that.

..at £80.

(GAVEL) VO: Hm.

Is this the end of Gemma and Philip's winning streak?

Well done.

Well done.

You did well there... Oh, shush!

(THEY LAUGH) They're being spiteful, the pair of them.

VO: Sam unearthed the Second World War-era sign.

It's their last lot.

And lot 1621 is the 1940s in/out board... GEMMA: I got excited...

I'm going to show it.

I'm going to show it.

SAM: OK. JAMES: Showing here, sir.

(LAUGHS) Showing here.

Right, I'm done with them... That's not going to help it too much, is it, really?

AUCTIONEER: It's a beautiful looking thing... Well done, James.

Well done, James.

..and the board's very nice as well, James!

JAMES: Thank you.

VO: Are you blushing behind there?

At 70, 75, and 80.

£80 and... JAMES: Hey, hey, it's working!

Right, I'm going up for that one.

£80.

£80, at £80.

85... JAMES: Hands everywhere.

AUCTIONEER: ..90.

95... (LAUGHS) £100 I'm bid.

At 100.

At 100.

At £100, I'm bid.

At 100... Go on, guys!

At £100.

I'll tell you what, I'll take a fiver.

JAMES: Yeah.

SAM: Yeah.

JAMES: Well done, sir.

AUCTIONEER: I'm in a good mood.

GEMMA: What, for the whole thing?

£5?

Brilliant.

SAM: (LAUGHS) AUCTIONEER: Over here?

GEMMA: No.

Oh no, sorry.

AUCTIONEER: 105.

105.

105... SAM: (LAUGHS) PHIL: We've been robbed!

At 105.

At £105, and selling at 105.

(GAVEL) VO: Well, some showmanship from Brackers earns a tidy win.

GEMMA: Not having it.

SAM: Well done, James... JAMES: Well done.

SAM: ..well done.

We got it.

We had a bit of intervention.

VO: It's the very final lot now, showcased here by porter Andy.

Thanks, Andy.

It's the donkey.

AUCTIONEER: 180.

SAM: I swear... (LAUGHS) Come on!

180, 180.

You're out.

190.

SAM: No!

AUCTIONEER: 200, 220... (LAUGHS) AUCTIONEER: ..240.

PHIL: Get in!

AUCTIONEER: 260, 280.

300... PHIL: (LAUGHS) AUCTIONEER: ..320.

SAM: I feel sick!

He hasn't finished, he hasn't finished... AUCTIONEER: 320.

Now the telephone.

PHIL: Bingo!

AUCTIONEER: 320.

340.

GEMMA: (LAUGHS) AUCTIONEER: 360.

380.

400.

PHIL: (LAUGHS) GEMMA: (GASPS) 420.

440.

Just look at their faces!

(LAUGHS) I'm amazed.

Aren't you?

I feel physically sick.

AUCTIONEER: 460.

JAMES: Yeah.

GEMMA: (GASPS) Thank you very much, sir.

460 on the telephone, at 460.

At £460... AUCTIONEER: 470.

JAMES: 470!

AUCTIONEER: 470.

PHIL: (LAUGHS) 480 on the phone.

490.

GEMMA: Oh, my God... AUCTIONEER: 490.

It's only money.

That's just so funny!

James!

I always knew you'd come through!

GEMMA: (LAUGHS) AUCTIONEER: 490... At least you'll be one winner today, James!

AUCTIONEER: For 500.

James, where did we go wrong?

I don't know.

490...

Thank you very much anyway.

At £490, and selling at 490...

I cannot believe that!

(GAVEL) JAMES: Well done... GEMMA: (LAUGHS) (APPLAUSE) Not even funny.

Very good, very good.

VO: Dobbin - sorry, James - romps to victory!

An astonishing profit for the old nag.

GEMMA: I can't believe... Well, you're gonna need to.

I can't believe what just happened.

I feel... PHIL: Really?

SAM: ..physically sick.

I think it's all got a bit ugly in here, hasn't it?

I think we should leave.

PHIL: Well... SAM: It's a donkey!

JAMES: It's a donkey!

SAM: Donkey!

I tell you what, it's a prizewinning donkey.

PHIL: It is!

GEMMA: See, but...

It's not even a real donkey!

That's a Red Rum of donkeys, that is.

SAM: It really is, isn't it?!

PHIL: Yeah, yeah.

It says it all about life, though.

You know, you don't do it for the winning, you do it for the enjoyment and the fulfillment... SAM: Oh, shut up!

PHIL: One thing is... Come on, we're going.

JAMES: (LAUGH) GEMMA: Well, yeah, and... Go on, let's go.

..taxi for James!

Go on, in your little black cab... Come on, where's me brakes.

(LAUGHS) Right, let's go.

VO: Right.

Some maths first.

Both the teams started with £400.

After auction costs, Samantha and James made an unlucky loss of £87.70, leaving them with £312.30.

VO: While Gemma and James galloped off with an astonishing profit of £174 exactly.

They finish up with £574 on the nose.

And all that profit goes to Children In Need.

It's been a hard-fought game, but they're still all pals.

Did you enjoy that experience?

Yes.

JAMES: You did?

SAM: I did.

I did.

It was good fun, wasn't it?

SAM: It was.

GEMMA: That was brilliant!

It's good fun... No, just the money side ruined it for me.

VO: It's so often the way, isn't it, James?

Time to say "ta-ta".

Ta-ta!

What a lovely pair, aren't they?

It's been good fun.

Really good fun... JAMES: Good fun.

SAM: We... GEMMA: We love you!

JAMES: We love you!

We love you!

(LAUGHS) PHIL: Drive safely.

GEMMA: Safe home.

JAMES: Drive safely.

SAM: Bye.

What can I say but "congratulations"?

(LAUGHS) I'm actually really chuffed for you.

I mean, that was just pure class, wasn't it?

And the boys are amazing.

It's just been... SAM: The boys... GEMMA: ..so much fun...

Honestly, I feel like I've made, like, a friend in James.

GEMMA: Friend for life.

VO: Aw, how sweet!

Bon voyage, girls.

Where's Ray?

Getting worried about him.

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