(PEPPY MUSIC PLAYING) Announcer: Sporting days are here again, and any Eve so inclined must first dress the part.

You can't aim straight, not with a gun anyhow, in a party frock.

So utility suits and hats are the mode.

(MUSIC CONTINUES) (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) (GUNSHOTS) Of course, the shooting's only an excuse for displaying the fashions.

(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) So now you know what to wear when the next shooting gallery comes to town.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ Wheels on fire ♪ ♪ Rolling down the road ♪ ♪ Best notify my next of kin ♪ ♪ This wheel shall explode ♪ -Did you get my plus fours back from the tailor's?

-Oh, yes.

-You got the wellies?

-Yes.

I've gotta be off in a minute.

Is Emma Bunton here yet?

I have no idea.

Sweetheart, is your little mate Emma here yet?

No.

Oh, gosh.

She's gotta come over.

I've got to discuss redoing the old Duchy Originals ad with her, sweetheart.

She said the wrong words last time.

Have you seen this stuff, darling?

What stuff?

All this, the Prince Charles biscuit thing?

Yes, I like it.

Why have we suddenly got all that?

Oh, darling, because I, darling, am now by Royal Appointment.

-You?

-Yeah, me, darling.

Prince Charles asked me to promote his new orange flour, oat and cheesy-whatsit biscuit thing, sweetheart.

Yeah.

-Hmm, tastes like and old piece of carpet.

-Edina: Oh, stop it.

This upper class English food is so strange.

-Old bits of orange peel covered in black chocolate... -Oh, shut up.

-...eggs in formaldehyde.

-(SIGHS) And some liver spots and lard and they call it a pork pie.

Oh, alright.

Thank you.

It's just he wants me to open up new markets for him, darling, you know.

I'm the one that can open that gateway, the gateway to the celebrity market, sweetheart.

That's why your little mate Emma has done this ad, darling, but... Ooh, she's the famous gob on Prince Charles' crackers.

Edina: Yes, she is.

Oh, you could help me a little bit here with little Bunton, you know.

She likes you, she doesn't like me.

You could make her a bit more malleable.

Anyway, those are the circles I'm moving in now, sweetheart.

Yes, but they're still circles, Mum.

Darling, it's royalty, isn't it?

The Royal Family, can't be doing with 'em.

Well, you won't have to be doing with them, thank God.

-They should release them back into their natural habitat.

-Edina: Oh, shut up.

Born into captivity, aren't they?

For us all to look at.

Big Brother but without Davina.

Oh, shush.

We should vote them all out and let them run free and spend their millions unwisely.

No.

We need 'em in cages.

They are the new celebrity.

We wanna look at them.

I like Prince Charles.

(MOCKINGLY) "I like Prince Charles."

They're like the lions at the zoo.

All wanting to spray at the faces on the other side of the bars.

(HISSES) -Don't.

Stop it.

-Pss.

-Pss.

-Darling, do something.

Pss.

Yeah, well, no wonder they all go insane.

Get up there and take up my luggage.

Go on, darling.

-Get up there and do my luggage.

-Ow!

-Do I have to?

-Take all this stuff with you as well.

Get up there.

You are my servant.

I employ you, serve.

Sweetheart?

-(YELPS) -Get up.

-(FART-LIKE SOUND) -Go on.

Go on, up.

Get out.

Where are you going?

Oh, darling, you know where I'm going.

I've told you about this.

It's my country house weekend that I won at the Tatler gala auction, sweetheart.

Yeah, I paid 30,000 quid for this weekend of huntin', shootin' and fishin', darling.

Oh, yeah, that's the last time that tight little Tatler crowd looked down their noses at me, sweetheart.

(LAUGHS) Oh, yeah.

They're all there, the Bamfords, the Rothschilds, the Countess of Derby, sweetheart.

Ugh.

They all dropped out about five quid, darling, I went straight to 30 grand.

Oh, yes, sweetheart.

Yeah, well, that's the kinda crowd I'm mixing with since the Prince Charles biscuit thing, sweetheart.

Oh, yeah.

Weekends at Highgrove beckon.

(CHUCKLES SINISTERLY) Hunting, shooting and fishing?

Yeah.

-Hunting, shooting, fishing.

-(WHISPERS) Here we go.

-Killing things?

-Yes, darling.

Don't get all, sort of, pinch-faced about it.

All, "Not in My Name," about it, sweetheart.

Madonna has opened up this world for us now, sweetheart.

She's made it stylish, reinvented it.

So you're going to kill things because of Madonna.

No, sweetheart.

Because I want to, alright?

I don't get you, Mum.

One minute it's Buddhism and the next it's butchering.

-Yeah, well they're not incompatible.

-Patsy: Alright.

Nothing like the blast of a double-bore to keep your chakra's open, eh?

Ooh!

Sweetheart, I can hear the call of the wild, darling.

Yeah, yeah.

Mum, you get a panic attack driving through Hyde Park.

♪ Country roads, take me home ♪ ♪ To the place I belong ♪ ♪ West Virginia ♪ No, it's Hertfordshire, actually, darling.

-Edina: ♪ To Hertfordshire ♪ -Yeah, yeah.

Off the motorway, Junction 12, sweetheart.

That'd be great, wouldn't it?

Killing things, darling.

Well, only killing to eat, darling.

That is what man is born to do, isn't he, sweetheart?

Hmm?

Hmm?

We're only on top of the food chain because we're eating everything below to stop it eating us.

(CHUCKLES) Sad rubbish.

And I'm having to eat for two 'cause you're a vegetarian, aren't I, sweetheart?

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

You don't have to justify yourself, Eddy.

-It's only in England that we've gone soft.

-Yes, soft.

I mean, in America, darling, you can kill what you want, you can kill to wear.

You can shoot it, eat the contents and step in.

-Oh, yeah.

-Sweetheart.

In France, if a little bird lands on the table -it's a canapé, you just spit out the beak.

-Edina: Yeah.

-(SPITS) -Edina: Yeah.

In France, darling, a horse falls over, it's a burger.

-Patsy: Yeah.

-You know, what's your problem?

It's only here we go all Bambi-esque about it, isn't it?

Hmm?

-(DOORBELL BUZZES) -Oh.

Oh, no.

Oh, it's the buzzer, sweetheart.

It's the buzzer.

Probably be little Emma Bunton, darling, yeah.

I gotta get her to redo the words on the Originals ad, which should be alright.

Darling, you could help me a little bit here.

Be nice to her, be friends with her, darling, sweetheart, could you?

Hmm?

Here she is.

Here she is.

Here she is.

Hello, sweetheart.

Hi, darling.

Just one side, I haven't got time, alright?

-Well, neither have I.

-Alright, darling.

What is it you want?

We need you to redo the ads, darling.

Why?

Because you said the wrong words the last time.

I said exactly what you told me to say.

Oh, foul.

Just, just think about it, will you?

Be nice to her, be nice to her.

Sweetie.

-Oh, gosh, you look so well.

-Oh, thank y... Not you.

Yeah, I know.

I know, not me, but you know, hey, huge... big belly, water retention, it could've been me, couldn't it?

Eh?

It could've been me.

It's genetic.

(LAUGHS) Well, I wasn't talking to you, and there you go again, lassoing the spotlight back onto yourself.

Yeah, well, at my age, I need more lighting, alright?

It'll take more than a spotlight to make you look any good.

Have to rope in a sun and a couple of neighboring galaxies to flatter that face.

(EDINA GASPS) Oh, well, thank you.

-Glad to see you're getting on.

-Mum, will you just go?

Alright, I'm going.

Come on, Pats.

Oh, darling, darling, darling, why don't you invite little Emma to your baby shower?

-Are you having a baby shower?

-No.

Yeah, I wanna give her a baby shower.

-Is it a shower?

-It's a baby shower.

-Is it a shower?

-It's a baby shower.

Is it, is it a baby shower?

No, it's not... No, darling.

Oh, silly.

Sorry, sweetheart.

It's not a little shower, it's a party, come on.

It's a party.

Having a friend over later, if you want to come.

It's not a shower, it's just... Well, anyway... -I'd love to come.

-Oh.

I'd love to come.

Listen, but I was wondering, have you seen this biscuit ad?

No.

Well, I hope it's alright, because your mum said it was only gonna go out in Japan.

Oh, I think she tells everyone that.

Patsy: Ah, here we are.

-Edina: Ah, yes.

-Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

(LAUGHS) -Give me the little bag as well.

-I'm keeping the little bag.

I know you, you'll take it off and I'll never see it again.

-Just trying to be helpful.

-Helpful.

-(SIGHS) Ohh.

This is nice.

-Very.

-This is lovely.

-Whew.

Yeah.

It's that smell, innit?

It's that smell of the country.

That sort of smell that you can't quite put your finger on, innit?

(LAUGHS) -No, but I think you put your foot in it.

-What?

Do you wanna give me that shoe?

-You've picked something up.

-Oh.

Oh.

Oh!

Ooh!

(RETCHING) Oh.

(SHUDDERS) Yeah, that's a little bit better now.

(MUMBLES) (SNIFFS) Yeah, that's better.

(LAUGHS) That's the smell, innit, darling?

The smell of old wood smoke, old polish, old dust.

It's got a secret smell of oldness, innit?

(GROANS) Yeah, it's a whiff of good malt whisky always in the air.

Edina: Mm.

And darling, Eddy, Eddy.

-The smell of breeding.

-Yeah, darling, innit?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's the smell, innit, darling?

The smell of class and privilege.

(LAUGHS) Yes, sweetheart.

And old polish.

(SNIFFS) Ooh.

I love it.

Yeah, we should get ourselves a little bit of this, darling.

We should marry ourselves a Duke or something, a little title.

-Yeah, a little flick through Debrett's.

-Edina: Yeah.

The who's who and the what's left of the British aristocracy.

(LAUGHS) Yeah, that's a little old one.

Yeah, sweetheart, this is where we wanna end our days, in the pages of Tatler, innit?

That's the one place that'll let you grow old gracefully, innit?

Tatler.

In Tatler you can have two teeth and three gray hairs whipped into a bouffant.

You've got a title, you're beautiful.

Edina: Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Madonna's no fool, is she?

-Moving in these circles now.

-Patsy: Hmm.

Oh, good old Madonna, always leading us through to the end of our lives, isn't she?

Darling, those arms are gonna go sooner or later and she's gonna have big kimono flaps.

And, darling, when that happens, she won't wanna be photographed sitting next door to a supermodel.

(BOTH LAUGHING) She'll want to be a bystander next to some old duchess to look good, won't she?

I mean, darling, only in Tatler could Camilla be a cover girl.

(SNICKERS) -Hi.

-Hi.

How are you?

Oh, I'm fine.

About to burst.

Oh, my goodness.

So freaky.

So huge.

I'm not that big.

Oh, my God.

It's like... (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) I'm not that big.

Does it hurt?

-No.

-(DOORBELL BUZZES) -Is someone else coming?

-Yes.

Who?

Who else do you know?

-Emma.

-Um... -Oh... -Hi, Saffy.

Saffy: Hi, Emma.

Come in.

Sit down.

Oh.

-Do you remember Sarah?

-Um, I don't remember.

Hi.

-Oh, she was in my year.

-Oh.

You remember Emma, she was at school with us.

You were a few years below, weren't you?

Uh, yeah, I think when you were head girl I was only 3B.

Oh, right.

-Oh, let me get you a drink.

-Okay.

Oh, it's so funny to think there's a baby in there.

I mean, it's so close.

-Well, not really, you just get used to it.

-(SIGHS) (NERVOUSLY) Where does all the other stuff go?

What other stuff?

How can there be a huge baby in there and all the other stuff?

This.

Stomach organs.

Where do they all get squished to?

And the pipes?

-That's why I'm fat.

-Duh.

A worry though, isn't it?

A huge baby in there... Could be fiddling with things.

And, and nibbling on things.

Yes.

Anyway... Wouldn't it be great if there was a little window there so you can look in and see what it was doing.

-Like a skylight.

-Will you shut up?

Not that you could open, but just look in and see what it was up to.

Stop it.

See it feeding... You shut up.

And, and we can wave at it.

And go, "Hello, baby."

(GASPING EXCITEDLY) Oh!

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, oh, I want to see it.

I want to feel it.

Oh, please, please let me touch it.

Please show me the stomach.

(GASPS) Oh.

Oh, show me!

She said stop it!

Oh.

-Well done.

-(EMMA SIGHS) -Right, let's open some presents.

-(CHUCKLES) (WHISPERS) Emma... (GASPING EXCITEDLY) Emma...

It's Emma Bunton.

Yes, I know it's Emma Bunton.

Would you shut up and sit down?

Not on the presents.

Oh, I know, I know.

Here we are.

Would you like to check in, please?

Yeah, alright.

I'm sorry we haven't got many staff on this weekend.

We don't normally get many people here this time of year.

Oh, good, good.

Most people are here for the golf.

Oh, um, look, we just wanna go and change and, uh, go straight outside and start shooting.

Yeah, I want to do hunting.

Hunting, as well.

(LAUGHS) Right.

Well, I'll go and see if I can get the gamekeeper to come and see you.

-Ooh, darling... -Oh.

(LAUGHS) Bit of an afternoon action, Eddy?

Little bit of bang, bang... -Gamekeeper action.

-And a little bit of bang, bang.

-(BOTH LAUGHING) -Yeah.

We'll be banging all afternoon, won't we, darling?

(LAUGHING) Ladies.

This is your host and gamekeeper, Clarissa.

And gillie and part-time groom.

I rustled up a couple of noggins of complimentary whisky.

I hope that's in order?

Both: Cheers.

We have a skeleton staff this weekend.

You could've fooled me.

But I'm sure you'll find something we have to offer that you'll need, like exercise.

Thank you.

Have you got a pool and a Jacuzzi?

I'm afraid not.

-Do you do massage?

-No.

But I'm sure Clarissa will sit on you if you need loosening up.

-We wanna shoot.

-Yeah, and hunt.

I'm afraid there's nothing in season at the moment.

-What can we shoot?

-Clay pigeons?

Clay pigeons.

What, doesn't market forces count for anything?

I paid £30,000 for this weekend.

Alright, so your hounds is in holiday, get more hounds in.

I mean, I'm equipped, I'm ready, you should be cultivating people like me.

You could play golf.

Oh, piss off.

How old do you think we are?

Or go riding.

(MUMBLES) What, riding?

What, horseback riding?

Yeah, 'cause I had some lovely horseback riding boots made.

In fact, I spent a fortune on horseback riding clothes, alright.

Yeah, we'll go riding.

(INHALES SHARPLY) Oh, oh.

Riding.

(HUMMING) Is that fishing?

(CHUCKLES) Fishing.

Tallyho.

Oh.

(GRUNTS, EXHALES) (SHUDDERS, SIGHS) Mine are a bit expensive but there's an odd designer piece, I just couldn't help myself the things were so cute.

But, I didn't buy them just because they're designer.

No.

Oh, this is beautiful.

(CHUCKLES) Can I take a picture?

What?

I've got my camera in, in my bag.

Saffy, will you take it?

Do you mind?

-Do I mind?

-Emma: It's okay, it's okay.

Well, just be quick, yeah?

Sorry.

Sorry.

-Oh.

-(WHIRS) You have to wait for the flash.

I'm your biggest fan.

-They all are.

-Who?

-Okay.

-(DOORBELL BUZZES) Oh.

That's gonna be my car.

I'm gonna have to go.

-Oh.

-Let's keep in touch, yeah?

Okay, thanks for coming, and listen... Come 'round another time, when, you know, she's not here.

-Yeah, well, maybe.

(CHUCKLES) -(LAUGHS) Where are you going?

That was so embarrassing.

She didn't mind.

That's what they want.

Where are you going?

I'm going to follow her.

Follow her everywhere.

I'm gonna find out where she lives, find out her phone number, go through her dustbins.

(PANTING EXCITEDLY) I'm gonna watch her while she doesn't know I'm there.

(SHUSHING) What is that noise, darling?

It's driving me mad.

It's silence, Eddy.

-Is it?

-Yup.

-Oh, I don't like it.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) -(BANGS RIDING CROP) That's what I like to hear, banging.

-(CHUCKLES) -Yeah.Yeah.

-Well, everything's ready.

-Edina: Alright, good.

I take it you've ridden before?

Well, I've been ridden.

No, that's not what she means.

No, we haven't ridden before, but we'll be fine.

And if we see a fox, we're gonna chase it anyway, alright?

That's for you.

-Should I get on here?

-No, no.

Take it out to the horse.

Right, and one for you.

Saddle.

Alright.

No, no.

Carry it.

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

Of course.

-(BOTH LAUGHING) Cheers, thanks a lot.

(GROANS FAINTLY) Now, now, can you sit up?

Sit up.

Well done.

Well done, Eddy.

Well done.

-Push it there.

Push it there.

-Get your leg, darling.

There you are.

-Well done.

That's it.

-(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) There's your leg, darling, there.

That looks great, Eddy.

You look great.

You look great.

Come on, it doesn't hurt that much.

-I'm sitting.

I'm going to sit up.

-That's right, sit up.

Sit up slowly.

Very good.

-That's it.

-Don't move.

-Keep going.

-You look terrific.

You get on yours, darling.

Piece of cake.

Piece of cake.

Hey, come on, Pats.

Keep up.

Keep up.

Goodbye.

Hopeless women.

-Patsy: Ugh.

-Edina: We didn't like it.

Hate it.

Altogether.

(EDINA MUMBLES) He didn't like it.

He was very, very frightened.

-Did you not enjoy yourselves?

-Come on, Pats.

Eddy, Eddy, I can't get off, I, I think the saddle will have to come off with me.

(PANTING) I've had a bit of a... Little bit of a moment.

I'm not...

I don't like riding.

We're gonna go shooting, darling.

Don't go so fast, darling.

Edina: Come on, Pats.

We've got to get changed.

Just wait for me, sweetheart, 'cause you might have to scrape me off this.

Not far now.

-It hurts.

-You can see the butt.

Yeah, I can see plenty of butt from here.

-Pull.

-(GUNSHOT) Pull!

Pull!

Pull!

Good shot.

Pull!

-(GUNSHOT) -Oh.

Good shot, Eddy.

Oh... (SIGHS) Noise again, innit?

(LAUGHS) That noise again.

(SIGHS) No bloody telly, no nothing.

How was the pigeon?

Yeah, it was quite small.

Full of bullets.

It's shot.

Yeah, I know, I shot it.

Good night.

Good night.

I mean, are we in The Others?

I mean, you know... What's happening here?

Yeah, maybe we are dead.

Maybe this is death.

Maybe Emma Bunton shot me, I just don't know it, you know.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) (SIGHS) Oh, what a washout this weekend's been.

Thirty thousand pounds this weekend has cost me, darling.

And all I have to show for it is one very small, bony pigeon.

Oh, darling, for that much, you should've been allowed to pluck and eat her yourself.

Edina: Eat her, yeah.

Oh, darling, no wonder the Rothschilds were laughing at you.

Well, what?

They were laughing at me, sweetheart?

Yeah, not only the Rothschilds.

-Laughing at me?

-Patsy: Hmm.

How dare they laugh at me.

They better watch out, darling, because...

I've had a gun put in my hand, I'm trained to kill now, aren't I, darling?

And I haven't been allowed to.

-Oh, darling, you're just a little ball of violence!

-I know, sweetheart.

Well, that's what happens when there's no massage and spa, isn't it?

There's no comedown.

Bloody Rothschilds.

Rothschilds laughing at me, sweetheart.

I hate, I hate all that Tatler crowd actually, darling, and I hate 'em.

Who bloody needs them upper classes?

Who bloody needs them, sweetheart?

They're all inbred, anyway, aren't they?

They're just a... Just a talking neck.

Most of them have done away with features altogether.

Edina: Yeah.

They have to marry a bit of common every now and then to ensure bone development.

Edina: Yeah, they do.

They do, that's true, sweetheart.

Most of them are just one big eye and an eyebrow now, aren't they, darling?

Plus, they're all, you know, trout-faces, all called, Piggy and Wiggy and Tiggy and Liggy.

They never quite shake off the names that Nanny gave 'em, can they?

None of 'em.

Well, who bloody needs them, darling?

Them and their bloody rules.

What I can kill and what I'm not allowed to kill, darling.

I'm not one of them, I'm one of the proletarians.

I shall rise up, darling!

I shall kill... For £30,000, Eddy, let's kill some birds.

-Let's get some bloody birds.

-Yeah, let's go, darling.

Edina: Come on, sweetheart.

(GUNSHOTS) -Patsy (WHISPERING): Eddy, come in quick.

-(SHUSHING) Keep it down.

(GIGGLING) Ohh... -(WHISPERS) So, um, uh... -(MUTTERING) What are you gonna do with it, darling?

-I don't know.

-Well, put it, put, put it, put it... -Put it in my case, gonna take it home tomorrow.

-Put in the cupboard, Ed.

(GRUNTS) Oh, did you put the guns away, darling?

Well, yeah, I put 'em back.

-Edina: Put them in... -Patsy: Yeah.

Ew.

The eagle's still a little bit warm.

(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST) Ooh, darling.

Oh, my first kill, my first blood.

-"It's not the season."

-(BOTH LAUGHING) -Oh, darling.

-I'll be the judge of that.

(BOTH LAUGHING) Oh, fantastic.

God, that was better than a massage, wasn't it?

A little killing spree.

(SNICKERING) Couldn't really see anything at all, actually, could we?

-Slaughter instead of spa.

-You could just, you know...

This is much better, isn't it, darling?

...sense where they were, really, more than see.

-Oh, it was fantastic.

-Cheers, darling.

Oh, God, darling.

Bang, bang.

(SIGHS) (WOOD SCRAPING) -(WHISPERS) Did you hear that?

-Um, I did, I did.

(SNIFFLES) -It's coming from the cupboard.

-It's coming from over there.

(EXHALES DEEPLY) -Go.

Go and see.

-No, you go.

Go see.

-No, no, because I don't want to.

-Patsy: Go and see.

Go and see.

It's nothing, darling, it's just probably some coat hangers.

Ghost or something.

A little ghost.

-Patsy: What?

-You come as well.

Oh, Eddy.

(MUMBLES) Eddy is it... Is it a hat?

(MUMBLES) It's the ghost of my pheasant.

It's on your head, sweetheart.

Will it be with me forever?

(MIMICS CAWING) Shoo.

-Hmm.

-(EDDY CACKLING) Oh, darling, it's gone under the bed.

It's gone under the bed.

Patsy: Is it there?

It's not there, darling.

Where's it gone?

It must have gone into the bathroom.

Oh, I don't want it to get my feet.

I don't want it to get my feet.

Oh, Eddy, go and get it.

It's in the bathroom now.

-Oh, darling, I can't... -It's gone in the bathroom now.

Just go and get it... Just go and get it in the bathroom, darling.

It's very simple.

Just go and get it.

What am I... What will I do?

Just pull its neck.

Just pull its neck like that.

-Just pull its neck.

-Alright.

I can do this.

I can do this.

(LAUGHS) I've shot it once, I can pull its neck.

(EDINA HUMMING) Ooh-ooh.

Don't get out.

Stay with me.

-(EDINA MUTTERING) -(METAL CLANKING) (WINGS FLUTTERING) (CLANKING CONTINUES) (TOILET FLUSHES) Wouldn't flush.

Ah, so sweet, darling.

Talking to me?

(WHISPERING) Oh, Eddy, just pull its neck.

(GROANS) Oh.

I can't, darling, I can't.

My fingers have gone all jelly.

I can't, darling.

Oh, darling, just do what they do with unwanted house guests.

I mean, drug it and dump it in Hyde Park, you know.

Is that okay with you?

(MUMBLING) Yes, it is okay with me.

(LAUGHS) -Cheers, darling, cheers.

-Cheers.

Cheers.

Get a little snackette.

(SIGHS) Ah, you'll be pleased to hear I'm only eating pre-prepared chicken legs now, darling, after our little killing weekend.

You didn't tell anyone about that, did you, sweetheart?

Good.

Only foraging in the aisles of Waitrose from now on for me, sweetheart.

-(DOORBELL BUZZES) -Oh, I say.

Who's that?

Hmm?

It's the police.

She's over there.

Oh, thank you very much, sweetheart.

Alright, stop.

Before you arrest me I wanna say one thing in my defense.

All we killed was a pigeon, which I ate, sweetheart.

Anyway, I was only trying to experience my heritage.

You know, trying to experience a little bit of my culture before she and her little banning friends ban it for all time.

(NERVOUSLY) I mean, she's picking away at the delicate card house that is the fabric of our society.

Eddy, I hope you know where you're going with this.

Edina: Yeah, I think I'm alright.

You know, if they banned everything... No, I'm onto a good one here...

When they've banned everything, sweetheart, and they just pull away at the, the little cards at the card house, everything will just collapse.

Do you understand what I am saying?

You should never trust an English person who ask you to take your shoes off at the front door.

No, darling, It's not in our culture.

That's not in our culture.

It's not in our culture.

Do you see what she's saying?

And anyway, the pheasant, which you've probably come about, is alive and living in Hyde Park.

Yes.

It suffered mild tranquilization with the date-rape drug, and we released it near the Serpentine Gallery where it's living happily with its friends, alright?

Well, I'm afraid you're gonna have to come with us.

(GROANS) No.

(GASPS) Miss Bunton has taken a restraining order out against you.

And we need to you down the station.

(PANTING) How did you know I was here?

(PATSY AND EDINA MUMBLING) (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ Wheels on fire ♪ ♪ Rolling down the road ♪ ♪ Best notify my next of kin ♪ ♪ This wheel shall explode ♪ Oh, looks like we got away with it.

-(LAUGHS) Weekends at Highgrove still beckon.

-Yeah.

-If he likes the ad.

-That's right.

I'm a girl who likes a bit of class and that's why I choose to eat... (IN PATSY'S VOICE) Originals Organic, oat and ginger, cholesterol-free, gluten-free, cheese biscuits.

I love 'em.

-I think that worked.

-I think it was good.

I think that worked.

That was very good.

♪ This wheel shall explode ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONTINUES)