VO: The nation's favorite celebrities... Wow.

VO: ..paired up with an expert... Ow!

Ow!

Get it sorted.

VO: ..and a classic car.

She's beautiful.

We're steaming.

VO: Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques.

Is that antique?

I'll take it.

I'll take it.

VO: The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no easy ride...

There's a dog chasing us!

VO: Who will find a hidden gem?

I love that.

VO: Who will take the biggest risk?

VO: Will anybody follow expert advice?

Yeah, I know what that means.

VO: There will be worthy winners...

Yes!

VO: ..and valiant losers.

Disaster.

VO: Put your pedal to the metal.

Let's go shopping.

Woo-hoo!

VO: This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

VO: Kookaburra!

VO: Get ready, we have a couple of fizzy showstoppers.

Claire Sweeney and Steps popstrel, Ian "H" Watkins.

You look like a rock star behind the wheel.

CLAIRE: Me, a rock star?

H: You do, I mean look.

I've never been accused of looking like a rock star.

Your hair's blowing in the wind, you've got chiffon on.

Like a fine wine dear.

Mateus Rose!

(LAUGHS) VO: Our sparkling stars of stage and screen have been best chums since the '90s.

So, do you know anything about antiques?

Because I haven't got a clue.

I don't know about specific eras or styles, but... Is that a no?

(THEY LAUGH) You're partial to a Toby jug.

(LAUGHS) VO: And look at this for a bit of '80s retro.

The sporty, gull-winged, DeLorean.

This has a cassette.

Do you know, it's fantastic, isn't it?

Our cars now don't even have CD players, do they?

No, it's all Bluetooth, isn't it?

I know.

Do you remember when we used to sit there with the tape H: and wind it with a pencil?

CLAIRE: Yes.

VO: Ha-ha, what fun.

"H" achieved stratospheric success with dance pop-group Steps.

Tell me about the car.

So it's a 1980 DeLorean.

In 1980 you would have paid 26 grand for this.

I wonder what it's worth today actually.

It's worth the same price, it's held its price.

Held its price?!

It's supposed to go up!

(LAUGHS) VO: Now a star of hit musicals, Claire first found fame in a controversial British soap opera.

In gear, get in gear.

She's very heavy, she is.

H: Whoa!

CLAIRE: Whoa, here she is!

(LAUGHS) Are we insured for this?

VO: Dear, oh dear.

Steering them through the antiques fog are the wise old sages David Harper and James Braxton, in a Lotus Esprit.

JAMES: It's synonymous with Roger Moore, this car, isn't it?

It is.

and Roger Moore is very famous for when he dangled that... And it was rather sort of camp, wasn't it?

Because the fish was a bit too small, it wasn't very... Somebody found a little goldfish.

That was very funny, wasn't it?

Only Roger Moore could get away with that.

(THEY LAUGH) VO: Ah, the late great Roger Moore, eh?

But these chaps are in a Series Three version of the Esprit, and have a license to thrill, not kill, we hope.

I rather like this.

It has a slightly sort of spaceshippy feel, doesn't it?

A bit Star Trekkie, isn't it?

Star Trekkie.

It reminds me of a sort of government, sort of dispatch box, this red leather.

James Braxton, only you could say that.

VO: I concur, David Harper!

A DeLorean.

VO: Now time to get acquainted, you lot.

Oh.

(LAUGHS) My gosh, Claire Sweeney in a DeLorean.

Trying to get out of that thing and look elegant.

VO: You coped admirably, Claire.

You alright?

Mwah!

Hello.

How are you doing?

Are you OK?

JAMES: Lovely to see you.

H: Lovely to meet you.

JAMES: Claire, how are you?

CLAIRE: Hi, good to see you.

DAVID: Very good to meet you.

H: You too, you too.

How come we got here first when they're in a car that actually time travels?

Exactly, yeah.

How does that work?

I don't know.

That's a rubbish DeLorean.

I know, but we look 20 years younger.

(ALL LAUGH) Anyway, shall we pair up?

Get going?

Absolutely, yeah.

DAVID: Shall I drive?

CLAIRE: You can drive.

H: You can drive.

Oh!

Wow, this is classic.

Ours is better than yours!

You've done well, dear.

We've got windows that work!

VO: Let the jolly jape begin!

We've definitely got the better car!

"H", do you like antiques?

I like very quirky, unusual objects.

I like mixing lots of different eras.

OK, perfect.

So I love Victorian, I love the '70s.

I actually collect a lot of circus and fairground art.

OK, right.

So my house looks like a little bit of a junk shop.

Now how are you, one, with antiques, and, two, with negotiating?

I'm good at negotiating.

I thought you might be.

If you guide me at what I need to fight for.

OK. (LAUGHS) You don't have to actually physically fight, Claire.

(LAUGHS) VO: Strictly no fisticuffs, Claire!

VO: Let's check out the route.

Our antiques explorers will be journeying around Gloucestershire, Worcestershire, and will skip and a hop through Monmouthshire and will head for an auction finale in Harrogate.

But let's start in Gloucester.

VO: Now, our sparkling guests will each have £400 to splurge.

There it is.

Yodie yodie... Look at that.

That's the old tat.

Doesn't that look good?

I'm excited.

Let's do it!

I'll tell you what... What a beautiful day.

(LAUGHING) It is a lovely day.

Are you alright there?

VO: (LAUGHS) I thought you did yoga, Jimbo?

Anyway, "H" and James are venturing upstairs and downstairs in here.

Here we go.

Isn't this fun.

Kid in a sweet shop.

(LAUGHS) (WHISPERS) What's this?

Oh, look!

And is that wooden?

Yep, it is.

It looks like it's seen better days.

Seen better days.

That is amazing.

It's just missing its cannon, isn't it?

Yeah.

VO: Uh-oh.

Is that...?

JAMES: Hi.

DAVID: Oh, hello.

VO: It is!

I'm sorry, are we the back of your shot?

All I heard was, "It's missing its cannons".

It's missing its cannons.

We're gonna be shopping with the competition today.

Is that fair?

JAMES: Course it is.

DAVID: Well, we can help.

All's fair in love and war.

We don't need any help, thank you.

DAVID: Really?

H: We're all good.

Has it got a price?

There's no price on it, actually.

Free.

(LAUGHS) I wish it was.

Free, free, free.

You're alright, don't worry.

H: Good luck!

DAVID: Thank you.

You'll need it.

VO: "H" is in full-on battle mode.

Now let's cozy in with Claire and David.

I love the car and I love the petrol tanker, but they're both reproductions of... CLAIRE: Yeah.

DAVID: ..earlier ones.

How much is it, 80...

If we got both of them for under 100 quid... Well, you don't muck about do you?

What's all that about?

Do you wanna go for lunch or something?

(LAUGHS) VO: Blooming heck, Claire.

Oh, look at that tank.

I see.

I quite like that.

CLAIRE: That's great.

DAVID: Were they looking at it?

They were looking at that when we came in.

Oh, that's great, isn't it?

Actually, I really like that.

Why didn't they buy it?

I don't know.

It's missing its tracks.

It's missing its guns.

Wooden toys are, you know, making a real comeback.

They're expensive.

But think about it, it's much more eco-friendly than producing plastics that will never degrade.

Yes.

Shall we get a price?

Let's get a price.

And a bit more information.

I'd like to get a story on this as to where it's come from.

DAVID: Would you like the story?

CLAIRE: I'd love the story.

This chap here looks like he's quite official.

Hello.

VIC: Hello.

DAVID: What's your name?

My name's Vic.

Hello Vic, I'm David.

Hi Vic, I'm Claire.

Good to see you, are you OK?

Tell us what you know about this, Vic?

Right, there is a little story behind that.

It was made by American soldiers.

During the war, they were stationed at Tewkesbury.

They came along in a tank along Tewkesbury Road.

And there's a little boy stood at the gate, crying.

And they got out the tank, and took it over.

It's got definite provenance?

100%.

VO: Vic regularly does house clearances and got the provenance from the seller of the toy tank.

Their late father was "the" little boy given this very special gift.

I treasure it, and I think maybe 150.

150.

125?

OK. 125.

Have we just done a deal, has that just happened?

Well, she's saying 125.

110, we'll have it.

Yeah.

120.

Happy?

Shake his hand.

DAVID: Deal done, well done.

CLAIRE: Great.

Thank you very much indeed.

I love it.

And that's a true story.

You hold onto that, and we'll come and pay you later.

VIC: That's absolutely fine.

CLAIRE: Great.

OK, cheers Vic.

Well done, well done.

Straight in.

You don't muck about, do you?

VO: That leaves Claire £280 left to spend.

Now, how the heck are "H" and James faring?

I love... Why do you like the lamp?

I love really kind of old and beaten architectural pieces, and I can just imagine that, in its day, in a factory somewhere.

I love that kind of industrial look.

It's quite simple, that.

I quite like the design of the stand, that simple loop, isn't it?

H: Yep.

JAMES: Is it weighty?

No actually, it's alright.

Quite nice, isn't it?

I think it's aluminum.

Is it aluminum?

Yeah, so this is polished aluminum here.

VO: It doesn't have a price.

Let's have a chat with dealer Vic.

Vic!

Hi there, how are you doing?

Are you OK?

Very well, thank you.

We were just trying to find a Steps record.

H: Oh, were you?

VIC: Yeah, to put it on.

Oh, they're very expensive to use, so... (LAUGHS) Yeah, quite.

All those royalties coming in.

Now, we picked that one off the desk.

We have... We can't find a price on it.

I bought it off another dealer here, to use as display piece, but I think... Maybe one and a half, something like that?

VO: Something to think about, "H" .

VO: Now, what else for our newbie antiquer Claire?

I was quite drawn in here when I saw all this boating memorabilia, and this is fantastic.

That's... OK. You know when you think where has this been?

Where has it sailed?

What was, you know, what's the story to it?

Imagine the sensation of actually navigating that... CLAIRE: Absolutely.

DAVID: ..boat on choppy seas, holding on, sometimes for dear life.

If that could talk... VO: Alright, David.

The handles are obviously, you know, turned handles, it looks a bit 19th century.

And then look at the way it's put together.

Can you see these pegs?

Can you see they're not perfectly round, so they are not machine-made pegs.

So it is a handmade wheel, made in a boatyard.

How much would you expect to pay for it?

100 quid.

100 quid.

80 quid, 100 quid, ideally.

What about you?

What's your instinct?

I haven't got a clue.

You do have a clue.

That's the thing, you do have a clue.

I would have thought more 120.

OK. We need to speak to Vic about price.

And he's just hovering.

Vic, come on in.

Let's talk to you about this wheel.

We think it's late 19th century.

Yep.

It's a Victorian ship's wheel, or Edwardian ship's wheel.

A real one, not a reproduction.

Quite valuable, sought-after, and of course we're in the docks area.

Erm... 130, and that's...

I'm leaving that at 130.

Go with your instinct.

What's your gut feeling?

125.

I'll shake your hand.

Thank you.

I can't believe it.

She's coming with me every day.

I said to you 120, didn't I?

Yes, you were right.

Claire, you're always right.

CLAIRE: Vic, thank you.

VIC: You're very welcome.

Thank you, it's lovely.

A kiss.

Kiss.

Ooh.

120.

(LAUGHS) Am I completely defunct here?

How much do we owe you?

120.

(CLAIRE LAUGHS) VO: Gosh!

That kiss makes for another fiver off.

Claire leaves with the ship's wheel and the World War II scratch-built tank, and her purse is £240 lighter.

Back to the boys.

What about the chairs, Vic?

Right, the chairs are from a local barber's shop, a let called Lords and Ladies.

The chairs spin round, OK.

So that spins round?

It spins right round you.

So the barber could sit down.

Yes.

Those two are for sale, a couple of hundred pounds each.

I'm sure we could do one for about 150.

I think it's really funny.

Yeah, it's fab.

But barber shops are big things now.

They're the great survivors of the high street, aren't they?

Totally, yeah.

Absolutely.

And you can imagine how many people have sat in this chair.

VO: The hydraulic barber chair was invented by Ernest Koken in 1900, an enterprising salesman, not a barber.

What age do you think this is?

After the war.

'50s?

I would say 1950s.

Yeah.

I think so.

The engineering in it is really fabulous.

It is amazing.

And that thing literally spins all the way round the chair.

What could you do for the two?

For both of them?

JAMES: Yeah.

VIC: 250?

I'm not even gonna try and knock you down any more, because it's rude, because I think that's amazing.

They are amazing.

(LAUGHS) Sold.

(LAUGHS) Yeah, I would have them...

Shake the man's hand.

Come on, well done, Vic.

You're welcome.

I'm so excited.

I would actually have them in my house.

Great, I'm really pleased.

I think we've done our bit.

Why don't you just pay Vic, and we'll move on.

Absolutely.

Thank you very much, Vic.

VIC: The best bit, thank you.

H: So 250, yeah?

JAMES: Well done, you.

H: Very excited by this.

Very best of luck, fellas.

I really hope they do well, VIC: and I'm sure you will.

JAMES: Thank you.

Thank you very much.

You're a gent.

VO: Looks like I'll be hiring a man with a van for the two barber chairs that have taken more than half of their budget.

A bold buy from "H", eh?

VO: Meanwhile, where are Claire and David?

I'm so disciplined during the day.

I'll do my yoga.

I'll you know, count my coffees, drink my water, all that.

DAVID: Right.

CLAIRE: It's the evening, especially if I've done a show.

After the show, I just want a dirty curry.

Really?

(LAUGHS) VO: We're off to the village of Malvern Wells in Worcestershire.

VO: Healthy living isn't anything new, you know, because here at Holy Well they've believed in the power of water for centuries and it's thought to be the oldest bottling plant in the world.

VO: Claire and David are finding out just why this purported healing H20 made the Victorians flock here in their droves.

It's nice being in the cool shade, isn't it?

Oh, I know, I know.

Do you know, I've been to Malvern many times.

Have you?

What, holiday?

I'm a real fan of the place.

I've worked at the theater a lot, and I always stay in the same place when I come.

Have you not taken any water?

And it's the end of this lane where I stay, and I've never been here.

(HE SIGHS) VO: Well you're in for a treat, Claire.

The pre-Cambrian granite which forms the Malvern Hills is one of the hardest rocks in the UK.

The sheer density acts as nature's filter and makes the water famous for its purity.

Come on, Claire.

Well, I didn't expect to see this.

Well, what did you expect to see?

Well, I just saw the house and a doorway.

I didn't expect this.

VO: While we're here, it would be rude not to.

DAVID: Do you wanna do it first?

CLAIRE: Yeah, go on.

DAVID: Go on then.

CLAIRE: OK. (WATER TRICKLES) How does it taste?

It's lovely.

Well does it taste like London water?

Oh, gosh, no, not like London water.

Like Liverpool water.

It's lovely, isn't it?

It is lovely.

I bet it's good for your skin and your hair as well.

Why don't you pour it over your head, see if it works?

(LAUGHS) Like that.

(THEY LAUGH) VO: Come on you two, best behavior!

We're meeting Mike Humm, custodian of the Holy Well, who can tell us why this natural spring would help turn Malvern into one of the first health spas.

So Mike, what is the history of the Holy Well?

Well, the water, which is what it's all about, first came into history in about 1558, when Queen Elizabeth I granted the rights of the spring to the land owner.

He bought it, and she said "You've got to give rest and refreshment to travelers".

DAVID: For free?

Free, because this was the only road going towards Wales, and pilgrims to St David's used to go past the front door and he was obligated to give rest and refreshment.

VO: In 1622 the monks from Great Malvern Priory are believed to be the first to bottle water from the Holy Well spring for the elderly and infirm.

It was kind of known as a sort of medical thing, cuz it's so clean.

But it's only about the purity of the water.

VO: For centuries after, the water was bottled locally until 1843, when Mr Schweppe came to town and started to commercialize Malvern Water.

MIKE: This is the well that they had built, and it was built as a bottling plant.

They kind of bought the land and they, I think first of all, they kind of rented and started sampling the water, realized the importance of it.

VO: At the Great Exhibition of 1851, it became a firm favorite with Queen Victoria.

And a few years later she named Malvern a spa town.

There's the Malvern cure, and it was created in Victorian times, where we would get people to come to Malvern, and they would drink very, very pure water and a lot of it.

They would eat very little, and they would exercise on the hills.

VO: The craze would see visitors being doused in cold water, wrapped in wet sheets and dunked in cold baths.

(SHIVERS) I'm not sure about that!

In Victorian times, where they didn't look after themselves, ate too much, didn't exercise, it was like a revelation to them.

And they felt so good afterwards.

Didn't feel so good sometimes going through the early part of the cure, but they felt so good afterwards.

VO: People flocked in their thousands here, including celebrities of the day such as Florence Nightingale, Charles Dickens and Charles Darwin.

Darwin for instance spent five weeks here, before he wrote the Origin Of The Species.

And the kind of the story is that he could barely hold a pen before he wrote it, but after he left Malvern, he was invigorated.

Really, really fit and well.

So what's fascinating for me, Mike, is nowadays we know if we drink clean water, eat healthy, we're gonna detox, it's gonna be good for us.

But then did people believe that the water had more mysticism around it?

Oh, absolutely.

I mean, some people even thought it was the elixir of life.

Not only is it good for your insides, it must be good for your hair and your skin as well.

Oh, yeah.

If David had stuck his head under the font there, he'd have hair by now.

Yeah, I think you'd have a fringe if you lived here.

I think, yeah.

Would it suit me?

Lovely to meet you.

MIKE: Nice to see you.

CLAIRE: Thank you so much.

DAVID: Thanks Mike, lovely.

MIKE: Cheers.

Bye.

VO: Malvern and its waters were a hit with wealthy Victorians, but the glowing benefits could also be attributed to a break from rich fatty diets and sedentary lifestyles in smoggy cities.

You've been here seven years.

Will he let us have a little bottle to take?

Well he's gone now.

You should have asked that earlier on.

(WATER TRICKLES) VO: Now, what about best buddies "H" and James?

Do you think Claire, is she a competitive lady?

Claire is competitive, but I know she has zero knowledge about anything that's more than five-year-old.

(LAUGHS) OK, perfect, perfect.

Claire shops at Harrods and Liberty's and Harvey Nicks.

Yeah.

She'll know nothing about this.

VO: They're bound for the Cotswold town of Winchcombe.

Here we are.

Perfect.

Oh, lovely, isn't it?

Let's get... (LAUGHS) JAMES: Let's... H: Do you need a hand?

A paramedic!

I need a paramedic.

(LAUGHS) Come on.

VO: A Lotus Esprit and a Braxton don't seem to quite fit, do they?

VO: The chaps are gonna have a frolic in here with their £150.

There's over two floors packed with potential goodies.

That's really pretty.

Yeah.

It's one of these hall chairs.

A good weight to it.

Made of mahogany, so really solid wood.

That's a solid piece of mahogany.

And they sometimes call... You know how it's sort of rippled here?

Yeah.

They call this plum pudding mahogany, so it looks like sort of fruit in its own liquor.

But that's not a defect, that's just the way it's marked?

No.

These chairs are hall chairs, so if you came to see somebody, you were probably put on the hall, depending on your status, really.

And they didn't like... Upholstery was so expensive, and you didn't know quite where people have been.

People, I think, were less clean years ago.

So something wipeable.

I would say this is about early 19th century.

1800, 1820.

And it's sturdy for that.

VO: Quite.

It doesn't have a price, though.

How much do you think, James?

So price wise, if that's under sort of 40, £50, that's probably worth going for.

Because it's slightly ordinary.

It's in good condition.

VO: Dealer Richard is the man to chat pounds and pence with.

So we've got our eye on this little beauty here.

Yeah, a nice hall chair.

If we can have the lowest prices, Richard.

And then we'll knock it down even more.

It's unusual.

It would need to be under 40 quid, I thought.

So 35 quid?

Can't argue with that.

Leave that with us, I've still got my eye on a few more bits and bobs.

RICHARD: Alright.

JAMES: Shall we look round?

Yeah, definitely.

Thank you.

VO: Let the mooch continue.

It doesn't become you, I don't... (LAUGHS) The nearest I get to being academic.

VO: Now, what's this you've found?

What, tractor and trailer?

Yeah.

I'll match you a tractor and trailer, what about this?

The first thing in the room.

I mean they're... (LAUGHS) ..completely different!

They are totally different.

This is lacquered with this cinnabar, this red lacquer.

And we've got irises on the top.

And you give me tractors.

Yeah, but is this reproduction, or is it...?

Does it have some age to it?

I think it's got a bit of age, let's have a look.

Any clues underneath?

Always look underneath.

There you are, "Ryves".

The label there, classic 1920s lettering, isn't it?

H: Oh, yeah.

JAMES: Very blocky.

I would say probably made in the 1920s.

VO: With the toy tractor discarded, let's get Richard.

We were thinking, you've got the chair there, this fellow there.

Could you do those two items for 100?

No.

Well, I know you can't say fairer than that.

There's a certain frankness about you.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, you know.

What would you want for that?

Are we near, though?

RICHARD: Uh... JAMES: I thought we were near.

What did we say for the chair?

We said 35.

So that would be putting that at 65.

Yeah, no, I can't do that.

It hasn't got a great age, has it?

No, I know, but you know these things are quite desirable.

You say 100, and you've got a deal.

Or I could say 110.

But I think 105 will split the difference.

Do we want them?

He's sticking at 105, so...

There's a good, potentially 70, in there for you.

If you're wrong, I'm knocking on your door.

(LAUGHS) You're on.

(ANGRY GRUNT) Thank you.

My pleasure.

That's fair enough, so you want some money.

Give him some money.

VO: £35 for the hall chair and 70 for the Chinese plant stand.

I don't think we're gonna squeeze them in, are we?

Let's just put them down there.

There we go.

I must say, I have a hard enough job getting myself in this car, let alone two items of furniture.

Do you need an assistant?

VO: What about the...?!

Richard?

Would you take care of those?

Somebody will collect them.

Thank you.

No problem.

VO: Better get dialing the blooming man with the van again!

VO: That's the shopping done for today.

I went to see "H" at GAY with Steps, they were fantastic.

We've been through thick and thin.

We've been through breakups.

We've been through career highs, career lows.

Children.

He's a wonderful friend, and he's a longstanding true, loyal friend, and I love the bones of him.

Have you enjoyed today, "H"?

I've had a ball, actually.

Well, I think you're an absolute natural.

Oh, thanks.

I mean, I like to think I have a good eye for quirky objects.

Well, if you just come round to my house.

Come around, we'll have a little cocktail, and you can survey all my bits and pieces.

Oh, that sounded really rude.

(LAUGHS) VO: Just a little bit.

Steady.

Rest and relaxation for all the gang.

VO: Sleep tight.

VO: Morning!

We're back on the road with our two celebrities.

So this car, this morning she seems a bit easier.

H: Why is she a she?

CLAIRE: Everything's a she.

H: Really?

CLAIRE: I call her a she.

Because she's difficult?

(LAUGHS) How many items have you bought?

Playing the game.

Four.

Good man.

You're gonna do it all, aren't you?

We are on track.

You're all in, we're gonna go all in.

Come on.

It's not a problem, we'll go all in.

Check our big buys.

Alright.

Get in step with Steps.

Wahey!

Oh my gosh... What did you do?

We're steaming.

Steaming hot, we are.

(LAUGHS) VO: Oh, crumbs!

We're sitting there having a good gossip, and I said "I think we need to get out.

"There's smoke coming out the back of the car".

Did you burn the clutch?

I mean it wouldn't do that.

No, it's just this engine overheats, and when it gets past 220 you're meant to put the fan on.

And cuz you were telling me really good gossip, I forgot to put the fan on.

Oh, so you're blaming it on me?

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

Is that a no?

(LAUGHS) He's obviously not a Steps fan.

Five, six, seven, eight.

(LAUGHS) You didn't show a bit of leg, that's what it was.

Oh, yeah, don't blame me!

VO: Blimey.

That was exciting.

I'd better ring the mechanic.

Where on earth are they?

Have they gone back to the '80s or something?

They probably have.

That DeLorean... VO: It's fixed!

Phew.

It looks good.

Well done, look at that.

Oh, this is easier now I've got trousers on.

How very glamorous, Claire.

Go on, watch your head.

Yes.

Hello, my dear.

H: How are you doing?

JAMES: Hello, how are you?

Good, yeah, really good thank you.

Morning.

Are you OK?

What a beautiful place.

We broke down.

CLAIRE: Yeah.

JAMES: Really?

We've had a malfunction, a DeLorean malfunction.

(LAUGHS) As for antique shopping, how did you do yesterday?

JAMES: We did well.

DAVID: Did you?

I'm really chuffed.

We've got something to show, haven't we?

Shall I show you ours first?

Shall we show it?

Where is it?

It's on the back.

Behind the seat.

Watch your head.

OK.

I will let Claire... JAMES: Oh!

DAVID: ..describe it.

You're having a laugh.

This is the first thing I saw when we went into that shop.

It was made by a soldier, an American soldier, during the war, in the '40s.

He was driving down the road, and he saw a little boy crying on the road.

They actually got out of the tank... Really?

..and gave the toy tank to the boy who was crying.

DAVID: It's a fantastic story.

CLAIRE: Isn't that lovely?

That is a beautiful story.

That is a beautiful story.

But the person that's gonna buy this will not care about that.

Oh, "H" , you're ruthless!

(LAUGHS) How much did you pay for it?

It started off at 200, and we got it for 120.

Wow... Do you think you've paid the right price for it?

CLAIRE: Yeah.

H: Do you?

(LAUGHS) You're horrible!

He doesn't rate it.

I'm thinking profit, though.

Shall I show them what £65 buys?

Yes, absolutely.

H: Oh, my gosh.

DAVID: Here we are.

What an amazing coincidence, did you chat to her?

That was jolly kind.

James, are you stealing pub furniture?

That's a pub table!

How dare you, David?!

It's a stand, it's Chinese.

It's lacquered.

A very nice sort of art deco label underneath there.

Oh!

So probably about 1920s.

But I like the flowers, I like the iris.

So it's got iris on the friezes, carved there, and irises on the top.

And the story behind this though, there was a little Japanese boy... (THEY LAUGH) How much?

How much?

How much do you think?

50 to 80.

No, I think over 100.

It was... 70.

CLAIRE: Oh, OK. DAVID: That's alright.

That's OK, nothing wrong with that, it's a good thing.

Do we need to worry?

No.

Come on.

Good luck, team.

We'll let somebody pick that up, shall we?

Shall we?

We're going that way.

Good luck!

JAMES: Are you driving?

CLAIRE: Bye!

JAMES: The handle works.

CLAIRE: Keys.

Have you got keys?

VO: While they burn some rubber, here's a reminder of what else they've spent their pennies on.

VO: From her £400, Claire also bought the ship's wheel.

She has £160 to spend today.

Do you wanna go for lunch or something?

(LAUGHS) VO: "H" also has the two barber's chairs.

And the hall chair.

If you're wrong, I am knocking on your door.

VO: Big spender "H" has only £45 left.

What do you know about Steps?

Tell me.

I know they're very successful.

Er, sort of, high energy, action pop group, weren't they?

Well, that's lovely, but what songs do you know?

Bee Gees.

Anything by the Bee Gees, really.

Well, we didn't cover everything by the Bee Gees.

JAMES: Didn't we?

H: No!

So what are your thoughts on the Chinese table?

I don't know, I didn't really get it.

I imagined in the '70s, me mum would have put a telephone on that.

(HE LAUGHS) VO: Claire and David have made it to the Gloucestershire village of Staunton.

DAVID: Oh, perfect.

The parking, that'll do us.

That'll do us.

VO: Pretty Old And Interesting.

No, not the car, the name of the shop.

VO: Claire's got 160 smackers to spend.

Right, so tell me why you like it.

I like the color of the wood.

Is it rosewood?

Yeah, very good.

CLAIRE: Yeah, yeah.

DAVID: Yes.

(MOUTHS) How does she know that?

I like the brass and I love, you know, it's worn and...

I'm not sure.

Is it a writing box?

Would you put your ink in here?

I can see there's remnants of ink there.

Yes.

Maybe pens, pencils, sharpener, rubber.

VO: Rosewood has been a prized cabinet-making material for its rich hues and beautiful grain.

Although it's an antique and legal to sell, international trade in rosewood is strictly controlled.

Interesting.

If you look at the side there Claire, look at the handles.

They're completely flat and flush.

The reason for that is that it was made to travel.

Because if you had big bulky sticky-out handles and you put it onto a carriage or a ship, it would scrape the sides.

It needs to fit into little compartments, nice and flush, with no bits protruding.

VO: That's right David, no bits protruding, what we all want.

Campaign boxes were made and used well into the 19th century.

Lord Byron and Charles Dickens were huge fans.

Queen Victoria came to the throne in 1837, and departed in 1901, so it's a big, big area.

I'm gonna say it's early Victorian.

I would say that's 1840, 1850.

So that's proper antique territory.

It's beautiful.

Are these pieces rare, or are they easy to get hold of?

They're quite easy to get hold of.

CLAIRE: Yeah.

DAVID: Because...

I'll give you an example.

Do you have a laptop?

Ah, OK, it's the equivalent.

I have a laptop.

That's a laptop from 1850.

Really?

It is exactly that.

I love that.

VO: It isn't priced.

Dealer Paul?

Let's talk cash, Paul?

Paul?

Paul, come here.

Oh, she's... Oh, no, here she goes.

Let me talk to you, my son.

Oh, my lord.

We are on limited funds.

I fancy 20 quid.

OK, that's a little bit low.

Can we go 25?

22.

Blimey.

DAVID: Blimey.

CLAIRE: Hey!

Blimey, I think we've done a deal.

Thank you, Paul.

You are ruthless, but I like you!

VO: A skilled negotiation, Claire.

Nice one.

Can you tell me how to open this door?

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

With acrylic nails.

Ah, right, OK. Yeah, so no acrylic nails, fingers in, and open.

There we go.

OK. VO: Ah, a bijouterie box.

Tell me about it, come on.

OK, so it is Victorian.

This was height of fashion in the late Victorian period, and it is the art nouveau period.

But that was made in 1894, someone absolutely bang on trend.

This is not like a traditional person.

This is a young, vibrant, successful woman about town, just like you, Claire Sweeney, in 1890.

You would have bought that.

It's gorgeous.

It weighs a tonne.

VO: Until the Victorian era, owning jewelry was unusual.

After the Industrial Revolution, bijouterie became much more affordable and little white metal boxes such as this were all the rage, and would have lived on your dressing table.

What is the best price you could do for the two?

(SIGHS) For you, 50 quid for the total.

So that's 28 for the box?

Yeah.

Happy?

That's fine, absolutely fine.

CLAIRE: Deal.

DAVID: Thank you, Paul.

Absolute pleasure.

Thank you.

Right, I will give you some money then, shall I?

VO: There we go.

After some slick dealing from Claire, we have the campaign writing box for £22.

Wow!

And the Victorian jewelry casket for 28.

VO: Now, new best mates James and "H" are taking a break from shopping.

(LAUGH) VO: They're going mining.

Yes.

Honest, guv.

We're going underground.

It's going to be lovely.

# Going underground, going underground... # Come on, I've just heard you singing.

Join.

# Going underground # Going underground... # (THEY LAUGH) VO: Nice thistle.

VO: We're heading for the village of Clearwell in Gloucestershire.

The ground deep beneath the Royal Forest of Dean is rich in minerals, which has given a plentiful bounty of iron ore since the Stone Age, but these caves are also home to humankind's first paint pot, a pigment that has been mined here for centuries - ocher.

"H" and James are heading underground to find out more.

First of all, we need to get kitted up.

Come on, boiler suits on.

Right, this looks like the right place.

Boiler suits.

OK. Oh, this looks glamorous.

I think we'll get really dirty.

This is not the place for a navy blue suit.

VO: Indeed, it is not, Jimbo.

I don't think my trainers go with it.

(LAUGHS) I think you're gonna need something else aren't you?

Yep.

I think they're a bit glam.

Yeah, they are a bit glam for caving.

VO: This pair are hopeless.

Do you think it's gray to represent Jumbo the elephant?

(LAUGHS) It was Dumbo, wasn't it?

(LAUGHS) VO: Well, Jumbo and...

I mean Jimbo, and "H" are going to explore the honeycomb caverns here that have produced the very same ochers that Neolithic man would have used to decorate their walls.

Oh, here we are.

Maximum speed.

A miner's life.

Maximum speed.

Well, I think I currently go at about three miles an hour, so I'm alright.

Really?

I think I'm less.

Wow.

Look at this.

Wow, that's huge isn't it?

JAMES: Look at that.

H: It's just... JAMES: Isn't that clever.

H: It's beautiful.

Wow.

VO: "H" and James are meeting with freeminer Jonathan Wright.

JON: Hi there!

H: Hi there, are you Jon?

Yes, I am.

Hi, H. H. James.

Good to meet you.

VO: Jonathan is owner of the mine, but it was handed down to him by his late father, Ray.

His passion ensured this natural phenomenon could be seen by one and all.

This part is famous for mining, isn't it?

Yeah, for coal and iron, but iron came first.

And even before they mined for the metal iron, they were mining for ocher.

My father began mining here back in the '60s, and opened it up to the public to show them what was here because it's just amazing underground.

JAMES: Yeah.

And he felt that people ought to be aware of it, because when you walk around, you'd have no idea this was underground.

JAMES: You wouldn't.

So what exactly is a freeminer?

To be freeminer, you have to have been born in the Hundred of St Briavels, so that's the Forest of Dean basically, and every village around it.

If you've worked a year and a day in a mine, then you can register as a freeminer, and you can work for iron, coal or stone, anywhere in the Forest of Dean.

VO: This ancient and exclusive right came about because the freeminers used their indispensable skills to help the Crown, particularly during the Scottish wars in the 14th century.

Interesting.

They had been used in wars in France, and Scotland, and places like that.

They were so useful for undermining castle walls... Oh, I see.

..and breaking sieges.

So the freeminers breached the castle walls to get in?

Yeah, so they were like a bit of a secret weapon that the king would use to break the siege.

King Edward I was so grateful for the work that the freeminers did, that he granted them the minerals in the Forest of Dean, so they could mine and make a living.

VO: The labyrinth of caves here cover an area of over 600 acres, with miles of passageways that are rich in this ancient natural material, ocher.

So what was ocher used for?

Ocher was used for making paints, as cosmetics, as a glaze on pottery.

It had lots of uses.

As a pigment, as a color.

This is the ocher.

You can see the bright colors up there.

You can see the yellows.

And it looks like rust on a car, or...

It is, yeah.

It is very similar.

It is a type of rust, but it's a very pure type of rust.

The best stuff, it really is like butter.

But this is very good as well, but it needs a bit of processing.

VO: Come on, "H".

Get stuck in, boy!

H: Alright, yeah.

JAMES: Guests first.

Remember to pick ahead of you, and not right here.

I'll stand back.

I'm gonna turn my light on a bit, because I can't actually see anything.

There you go.

So, any area there.

So I go a bit ahead of me.

Right, watch out.

Yeah, I am.

OK. (SCRAPING) Lovely action.

Ah!

It's all gone down my sleeves.

And you're after the butter?

Yeah, we need three tonnes of that.

Three tonnes of that.

Oh, it's quite coarse, isn't it?

I think it's incredible that thousands of years ago there would have been miners here, in this spot.

How many would have been in a space like this?

Mainly families.

Working with your father, your uncle.

You know, that sort of thing.

Because it must need teamwork down underground, doesn't it?

Yeah, you rely a lot on the person that you work with to keep it a safe environment... Yeah.

..and look after you.

Like antique dealing?

No.

Antique dealing's far more hazardous.

Treacherous?

JAMES: It's war out there.

H: Yeah.

VO: By chipping away at the iron ore, the naturally occurring pigments are collected in a fine powder which are either washed or milled for use as an artist's tint.

This method has remained the same since ancient times.

So, what's going on in these pots then?

These are the main colors that we get now.

You've got obviously a very deep beautiful purple, and a lovely red, that was known as Terra Rosso d'Inghilterra during the Renaissance in Italy.

And it seems that it was exported to Italy, and possibly used by artists like Michelangelo.

For the Sistine Chapel?

There are receipts that show that the pigment came from Bristol Port, and this was the nearest source of this color.

Wow.

VO: Incredible.

From early man to Renaissance genius Michelangelo, the natural ochers here are all testament to this primeval industry that's survived for over 4,500 years.

We're going into our last antique shop.

You need a bit of war paint.

(LAUGHS) You wanna frighten the dealer.

You look like Rambo.

(LAUGHS) I'm ready for action!

VO: Oh, James.

Come on, H, we've got buying to do.

JAMES: Jon, thank you.

H: Bye, Jon.

I'll leave you to your mining.

VO: What about Claire and David?

CLAIRE: Oh, "H" is loving it.

DAVID: Is he?

He's really competitive.

Let's choose something that will make money.

Passing the buck to me, then?

Yeah, make us some money.

VO: This pair have crossed the border into Wales.

They're in the town of Chepstow.

So Claire, this is your final shop on the Antiques Road Trip.

CLAIRE: Lovely.

DAVID: No more after this.

VO: This fine emporium is run by dealer Dawn and her super cute pooch, Molly.

Aww, look.

Gimme five.

Oh, my goodness, there's so much to see.

I know.

Just focus.

Don't panic, don't panic.

You're not panicking, are you?

VO: Give her a chance, David.

Claire has £110 in her purse.

CLAIRE: I love Toby jugs, right.

DAVID: Go on.

When I was like 19 working on the cruise ships, I remember doing a world cruise?

And you had days and days at sea, and it was quite boring.

So I went to Toby jug making classes.

And I made this Toby jug and I was so proud of it.

And then I got my first boyfriend and when we broke up, the only I thing I took was my Toby jug, and I've still got it now.

VO: Is there no end to your talents, Claire?

VO: Let's shimmy and take our way over to the other pair, where the dance lessons continue.

I'm guessing you don't know any of our moves then?

Well, you have demonstrated the Tragedy one.

I have.

It's very good.

So did you have moves for every song?

Yeah, and I guess that was the appeal, everybody could join in with us.

Yeah.

And, yeah, kind of dance their troubles away.

Like the Birdie Song?

Did you do the Birdie Song?

Do you know what, I'm just gonna say yes.

(LAUGHS) VO: The fellas have put their foot down, and have arrived on H's home turf.

We're in Pontypool in South Wales.

Here we are.

Nice.

Oh, I am excited already.

Let's get in there, last shop.

Do some damage.

Do you need a hand?

No, fine.

I'm getting used to this.

VO: Finally!

VO: "H" has £45 left to spend in here, Roofrack Ragamuffins.

H: Nice to meet you!

JAMES: Hi.

James.

Hi, I'm Allun.

Great to meet you.

Feel free to have a browse, and give us a shout if you need anything.

We will.

These are really exciting pieces.

Look at these!

I like that.

It's an old fire extinguisher?

Old fire extinguisher, given new life in a light.

But where's the auction?

Harrogate.

Would there be much of a call for this in Harrogate?

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's quirky.

JAMES: It's quirky isn't it?

H: Yeah.

And...

I think that's quite fun.

I think that's ingenious.

VO: But it's not quite hitting the mark for H. Back in Chepstow, how's Claire getting on?

It's the bling cabinet here.

Do we like a bit of bling?

CLAIRE: I love bling.

DAVID: You do?

Let's go bling.

We've bought nothing silver.

We've gone pewter, metal.

Let's go something a bit glam.

That's lovely, there.

What?

What is it?

OK, let me...

Dawn, can I get inside?

Is it open?

Yeah.

Just switch off on the top.

Switch is?

Oh, that is lovely.

OK, that is absolutely... Oh, Claire, that would suit you.

What is it?

It's a belt buckle.

Oh!

(LAUGHS) (BOTH LAUGH) I think she likes it.

Do you love it?

Yeah, she does.

Yeah, it's... Well, yeah, it's lovely.

It's more than likely a nurse's belt buckle.

Ah, now we're talking.

Just there is the impressed hallmark.

OK, yeah.

OK, so you've got a lion side on that sterling silver.

You've got a leopard's head looking at you.

That tells you that it was made in London.

So it's a late 19th century... Well that's lovely, then.

..Victorian belt buckle.

VO: When a nurse qualified, a belt buckle would be issued by the hospital, or given as a congratulatory gift from family.

The decoration is very late 19th century, with all those swirls.

Look at the face.

That looks like the Green Man.

Ever heard of the Green Man?

No, what's the Green Man?

It's an ancient figure, ancient motif, representing nature.

OK. And you find him in all cultures around the world, and he also represents rebirth.

So this may well be a maternity nurse.

CLAIRE: That's a little gem... DAVID: It's gorgeous.

..amongst everything in that cabinet?

DAVID: It's a delicious thing.

CLAIRE: Well done you.

DAVID: No doubt about it.

CLAIRE: Let's see how much.

It's down to price, isn't it?

VO: Let's mosey over to Dawn.

And Molly.

Molly?

You seem very intelligent.

How much have you got on the nurse's silver belt?

(AS MOLLY) We did have 45.

(LAUGHS) I didn't think the dog actually spoke.

Molly, that was amazing!

Molly, what's the best price?

(AS MOLLY) I think we could do him for 30.

It's a deal.

Give us your paw.

Good girl, Molly, good girl.

Yay!

A high five!

High five.

High five, Molls.

We've got a deal.

VO: 30 whole pounds on the nurse's silver belt buckle.

Well, quite a collection of things, eh?

I just can't wait for the auction now.

Well, excitement levels really power up as well now.

VO: Indeed they do.

Meanwhile over in Pontypool...

I love this whole industrial feel.

I love this lamp.

I would actually buy that myself.

If we don't buy this for the auction, I'm buying it for me.

So that would be secured against somebody's bench, wouldn't it?

Mm-hm.

I love that.

It just moves, doesn't it?

Just slightly.

Anglepoise lamp, yeah.

It's nice, isn't it?

H: Yeah.

JAMES: Does it work?

It looks like it's been rewired.

VO: Look there's Allun.

Ask him about it.

Allun, can we see if...

Does it work?

Yes, it does.

It's one of our traders, called Rust and Relics, who've actually...

He's an electrician by trade, so it's all been rewired.

It's all new light fittings, new cabling.

He likes to take old pieces, and just basically just not do anything with the patina or anything, just rewire it.

Yeah, that's nice.

It's got an integrity, this, hasn't it?

You wouldn't mind just plugging it in?

Have we got a plug?

Just see it in its full glory.

So there we are.

Look.

What does it look like?

Yeah, that's good, isn't it?

Oh, lush!

I really love that.

So that would just screw into a bench, or you could screw it onto something, bolt it onto something.

And it's original, it's quite naive in the way it looks as well.

I think it's nice.

I think it's nice, as you say, having its originality, its sheen.

Yep.

And, it will appeal to a lot more people than a fire hydrant, even though I love that.

Alright, let's get down to the crunch.

So that's quite a lot, isn't it?

Yeah... That's above our budget.

VO: It's priced at £75.

Oops!

Shall we tell you our budget and you can say yay or nay?

Go on then, try me.

Our budget is £45.

Ooh.

(LAUGHS) And we're not playing a game, that's literally all we have.

I don't think... We can probably get there on that.

I'd recommend that.

I'm not going to say any more.

Thank you very much!

Well done, Allun.

Oh, my goodness.

Yep.

JAMES: That's a lovely buy.

ALLUN: No problem.

Yeah, I'm quite sad that it's going to auction, cuz I would have had that.

Thank you very much.

Not a problem at all.

OK, Allun, there is £45 there.

ALLUN: Lovely.

H: Thank you very much.

ALLUN: Thank you.

H: You are a gentleman.

ALLUN: Thank you.

JAMES: Really kind, thanks.

ALLUN: Not a problem.

JAMES: Wa-hey!

I'll definitely be back.

We're off.

VO: They've only gone and blown the budget with that final buy, the lovely industrial lamp.

Bye!

VO: That's it!

The shopping is over.

It's official.

So there's nothing else we can do now Claire, nothing.

It's all in the hands of the auctioneer.

DAVID: Have you been to auction.

CLAIRE: Yes.

And this is the exciting part for me, to see if our instincts have worked.

VO: But for now, it's time for a well-earned rest.

VO: Sweet dreams.

VO: Can you believe it?

It's auction time.

We're off to the tea and bun capital of Harrogate in North Yorkshire, which is handy.

Well, I'm really excited about this auction.

What?!

I've been beside myself for days.

H: Really?

CLAIRE: Yeah, yeah.

You're confident then?

Do you know, I don't know if I'm confident.

I know I've got a bit of money in the bank... Oh, have you?

I reckon you've blown all yours.

Well, how would you even come to that conclusion?

(LAUGHS) Cuz I know what you're like!

VO: Today's sale is at Thompson's Auctioneers.

There they are!

Here we are.

Hello, boys!

H: Looking as dapper as ever.

CLAIRE: I know.

We're in.

What great doors.

Morning, team.

It works!

Look, there's a small Welshman in here.

Where are the stairs?

Help me out.

(ALL TALK AT ONCE) DAVID: Morning, H. H: Good morning!

Hello, darling, are you alright?

JAMES: How are you?

H: Are you excited?

DAVID: Always excited.

Me too!

Let battle commence, that's what I say.

Well, it's tanks versus barber shop chairs.

(THEY LAUGH) VO: Indeed it is.

VO: Claire and David have spent £320 on five lots, including that Victorian bijouterie casket.

A-ha, here it is.

Look how pretty that is.

It is quite pretty, isn't it?

H: What is it, pewter?

JAMES: Pewter, yeah.

They sometimes call it Britannia metal.

It's silver pewter.

And it's a trinket box, a jewelry box?

Yeah.

I just think these things are so of their time.

They are of their time, aren't they?

Anyway, good luck with that.

Yeah.

VO: Good luck to you too.

"H" and James spent all of their £400 kitty.

They've decided to sell the two barber's chairs as two separate lots, which means they've got five lots for auction, including the 19th century hall chair.

I think that's lovely.

Yeah, that is lovely.

It's really lovely.

And that's a proper antique.

There would have been two originally.

They're always made in pairs, but that's a beauty.

They're gonna do alright, aren't they?

I think they've got some quite good things.

Are we in trouble?

Probably.

VO: Kate Higgins is the lady presiding over the rostrum today.

What's she got to say about our gaggle of goodies?

The 1950s barber chairs, with the orbital seat to them, my favorite lot in today's sale.

We have two of them, so we are giving the option if the first person buys the first chair, they have the option of buying the second chair at the same price.

The late 19th century, early 20th century ship's wheel.

Not often you see them, but a lot of people have enquired about it today.

I'd love it to be one of the better lots in today's sale.

VO: How thrilling.

We have a plentiful supply of bidders in the room, on the phone, and online!

Get ready, the auction is about to start.

Exciting.

There you go, there you go.

This is where you are now out of control.

(LAUGHS) VO: Right Claire's World War II scratch-built tank is first to go.

Commission starts with me at 35.

Do I see 40?

40 now in the room.

Do I see five anywhere.?

Come on!

In the room at £40.

Go on!

I shall sell at 40... (GAVEL) Oh!

That's a whack, isn't it?

That is a whack.

I'm gutted, but I'm also ecstatic.

(THEY LAUGH) VO: What a shame, eh?

Someone's got a lovely piece of social history there!

Would you pay 120 again for it?

No.

I would.

I would, I would.

You're supposed to be the expert.

VO: H, it's your turn, with the 19th century hall chair.

20 anywhere?

20 we have.

Do I see five?

(WHISPERS) Come on.

30 sir.

30, 35.

No, you shouldn't.

AUCTIONEER: 40.

JAMES: Wa-hey.

Are we finished?

I shall sell at 40... (GAVEL) (LAUGHS) That's a very good buy for somebody.

CLAIRE: What did you pay for it?

H: 35.

CLAIRE: You made a fiver?

H: Yeah, a fiver.

VO: Excellent start, "H".

That's good.

That's good.

That's good.

VO: That's good.

Claire's campaign writing box is next.

I will start with my commission at 40.

AUCTIONEER: Do I see... H: There you go.

With me here at 40.

Five anywhere?

Come on.

On commission then, I will sell at £40... (GAVEL) DAVID: Sold!

You're lucky there was a commission bidder.

(LAUGHS) VO: And that's your first profit of the day, well done.

CLAIRE: Someone's bid 40 on it?

DAVID: Yes.

H: It's like an absentee bid.

DAVID: Yeah.

VO: It's an offering from "H", next - the industrial lamp.

I am 40 bid, five now.

JAMES: 40 bid.

DAVID: Oh, my gosh.

Do I see five?

45 we have.

50 anywhere?

In the room at 45.

I shall sell at 45... (GAVEL) (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Washing our faces.

You're loving this, aren't you?

VO: A break even actually means a small loss after saleroom fees.

But you're still ahead of Claire.

I'm gonna start my own shop, I think.

CLAIRE: You should!

H: I love this.

VO: It's the turn of the ship's wheel now, for Claire.

With me here at 50.

Do I see five?

DAVID: Go on!

AUCTIONEER: With me now at £50.

55.

60.

Go on!

65, gentleman's bid.

Do I see 70 anywhere?

In the room at 65.

I shall sell at 65... Ouch!

Ouch, ouch... VO: Yeah, there's a big ouch, even the auctioneer thought it would fare well.

I actually thought it was going to do better than that.

(SIGHS) VO: Yeah... How about the Chinese plant stand from "H"?

With me here at 40.

Bidder in the room.

50.

55 in the room.

60.

65, sir?

65.

70.

JAMES: Yeah.

H: Five more, come on.

Seated bid here at 70.

Do I see five?

Come on.

Somebody else.

75.

New bidder.

Ooh, hey.

Go on.

75.

In the room at 75.

I shall sell at 75... Well done.

Well done!

Well done.

VO: You're good at this, "H".

Yet another profit.

That scared me.

I didn't think that was going to do that.

DAVID: No?

H: I didn't.

JAMES: That's good.

DAVID: Well done.

VO: Come on, Claire, let's see if your bijouterie casket can deliver some riches.

£20.

10 anywhere?

10, 15.

Oh, there's interest.

Five, 30.

30 with the lady.

35 anywhere else?

35.

40.

35 here, 40 anywhere?

In the room at 35, I shall sell at 35...

Still a profit... Well done, well done.

DAVID: It feels good.

CLAIRE: It's not a loss.

But it feels better.

Even a pound is a profit.

Absolutely.

VO: Excellent, Claire.

We're going in the right direction.

If you lose money, it's just such a letdown.

It's so exciting when you're seeing two people bidding against each other for your item.

I know, you just don't know when it's gonna stop.

I know, it's thrilling isn't it?

VO: Talking of thrilling, it's H's last lots of the day, the barber's chairs.

Barbers are very, very trendy aren't they now with the hipsters, the beard trimming, everything.

It's all those barber shops flying up everywhere.

You can see that on Carnaby Street.

Absolutely, absolutely.

I will give you the option.

If you buy the first chair, you may have the second chair at the same price.

She's a lovely lady.

I will start with my commission at 80.

Do I see 90 anywhere?

Oh, we need more.

90, do I see?

On commission then at £80.

I shall sell at £80... (GAVEL) And they will take both of those.

VO: Yep, that's £80 for each chair.

VO: Total?

160.

But that's somewhat short of H's purchase price, and it's a big loss.

Oh, dear.

I'm gutted that went for that price.

JAMES: Yeah.

H: I would have paid more.

CLAIRE: Yeah.

H: Love it!

VO: Claire's nurse's silver belt buckle is our final lot for today.

You could definitely wear it on stage, H. H: Do you think?

JAMES: Yeah.

DAVID: Definitely H: You'd rock that buckle.

I will start with my commission at £30, do I see five anywhere?

They're worth more than that.

35 in the room.

40, five.

50... DAVID: Go on!

Five... DAVID: Go on!

60, five, 70.

H: You've done it.

Gentleman's bid is 70.

Five, eight...no.

75 seated now.

DAVID: Come on.

80 anywhere else?

DAVID: One more... Come on, one more.

I sell at 75... DAVID: Ooh... H: That's so close.

JAMES: That's very good.

H: Well done.

That's good.

Wow.

VO: What a lovely way to end.

Amazing profit Claire.

Who do you think's won?

Oh, it's difficult, very difficult.

I think marginally, you are in the lead.

Well, do you think between the four of us, we could work it out?

Of course.

Let's go.

VO: Time to figure out the figures.

VO: From £400 "H" and James, after all auction costs, made a loss of £137.60.

Their final figure is £262.40.

(GAVEL) VO: Starting with the same sum, Claire and David, after all auction fees, made a loss of £110.90.

They made a final sum of £289.10.

As they lost the least, so as to speak, they are today's triumphant winners.

No!

No!

No!

H, it's a travesty.

It's a tragedy, is what it is.

Do you know what my son would do now?

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah!

Go on, you can do that whilst driving away.

Bye, you two.

Well done!

DAVID: Well done indeed.

I'm really chuffed for you.

No, you're not.

You'll get over it eventually.

I'll get over it eventually, one day.

DAVID: See you guys!

JAMES: Bye.

I didn't expect that result, "H".

To be fair, neither did I.

(THEY LAUGH) But, I'm actually genuinely really pleased for you.

No, that didn't sound sincere.

Try it again.

Alright, I'm gutted.

VO: (LAUGHS) The truth wins out.

Farewell, we'll miss you.

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