(gentle rhythmic music) - I'm Jae Sinnett, good to be here.

I have performed on this stage many times as a musician, this is my first coming out here telling a story.

I have lots of stories and my big challenge was finding one that I liked, that I can flow with, so we'll see what happens.

Stories inspire us, make us cry, make us laugh, make us think, make us draw a blank, right?

So, the one I decided to share with you, December 22nd, well, actually 2022, December, I got COVID.

Many of you can relate to COVID, CO-CO-CO-COVID.

I spent Christmas alone in 2022 'cause nobody wanted to come around me.

I sat at my dining room table looking at my Christmas tree, it was so pretty, and I was so lonely.

I was sick.

I had fairly mild symptoms, though, I had, I didn't have a fever, I didn't cough, but I had terrible congestion, terrible congestion, I lost my sense of smell and taste, I'm also a chef, so when you can't taste your food, that's an interesting situation.

So I get through Christmas, get through COVID, okay, thankfully, we get into January '23, then I have a gout attack.

Anybody experience gout in here?

You understand the pain, the pain, the pain!

I go to the doctors, and all I could think of was King George eating this oversized turkey leg, that's the image I had of gout with gladiators, right?

(laughs) Doctor said, "Jae, we'll give you some steroids, you can take some prednisone and take some colchicine."

I'm not a drug person, really, but that pain was ridiculous.

So I said, "Okay, I'll take prednisone."

It made me feel better, it made me feel like I was 25 years.

However, the side effects, ah, ah, ah, ah!

My heart was like, boom, boom, du, du, du, du, du.

I couldn't sleep, so I said, "Well, we had to get off that."

He said, "we'll give you colchicine, take the colchicine."

I took the colchicine, terrible, messed up my stomach, Oh my God, it just messed up my stomach.

I said, "You know what?

Screw the drugs, I'm done with the drugs."

The doc, "Take the drugs, Jae, take the drugs!"

He goes, "I can give you allopurinol, that will keep your uric acid levels low, you won't have the gout attack."

"No, no, no!

I'm going to beat this naturally."

Have the gout attack, get better, three days later, I had another gout attack.

Call my doc, "Jae, take the drug, take the..." "Why am I calling you?

I'm not gonna take the drug."

So I stopped calling the doctor, suffered through it.

It's always, well, not always, but 85% of the time in your feet, because that's the coolest part of your body, and uric acid levels, when the uric acid levels increase, they turn to crystals, and the crystals gravitate towards, usually, the ball of your big toe joint.

But in theory, they can attack any joint in your body, but 85, 90% of the time, it's in your feet.

Between January '23 and June of '23, I had 13 gout attacks, 13 gout attacks.

My doc, "Jae, take the drug, take the drug!"

I was analyzing every speck, every crumb of food I put in my mouth to keep the purine intake low.

I had to avoid shellfish, you know, scallops, crab, shrimp, I dream about shrimp to this day.

Oh, I dream about shrimp, but you can't eat like that, you know, you can't eat like that, but I was, it was driving me crazy.

I didn't want to take the drug, but I kept having these gout attacks, and I kept just eating like, I was afraid to death of anything I put in my mouth, and after all those gout attacks, I wake up one morning and I have a gout attack in my right wrist, my wrist literally blew up.

A lot of you know, I'm also a drummer.

So I could think of, "Oh my God, I can't play, the pain!"

I said, "Well, lemme call the doc, see if he has another recommendation.

Doc, blah, blah, blah, blah, it's in my wrist now, it's in my wrist."

"Jae, take the drug, take the drug!"

I couldn't twist a cap off of a bottle.

I couldn't turn a doorknob.

I couldn't pick up a glass of water, the pain was so bad.

"Take the drug, Jae, take the drug!"

Then, I had this defining moment, this revelatory moment that changed everything for me in that moment.

Have you ever tried to wipe your with ass your opposite hand?

(audience laughing) You can't do it, you can't do it, you can't get a clean sweep.

(audience laughing) You cannot do it, it doesn't exist.

No matter how ambidextrous you are, you cannot get a clean sweep of your behind with your opposite hand.

I called my doctor, (imitating phone dialing) It was after hours, he answers the phone.

"Jae, are you okay?"

Doc, I got a problem, man!"

"What's, what is it Jae?"

"I can't wipe my ass!"

(audience laughs) "I beg your pardon?"

"I'm trying to wipe with my opposite hand, but it's not working.

No, I'm not asking to come by and have you wipe it for me.

I'll take the drug, I will take the drug!"

"Jae, okay.

just, you're having a problem with your anus as I understand this, right?"

(audience laughs) "Well, yeah, sort of."

Tell you what, come and see me next week."

"No!

No, you don't understand, I have to take the drug tonight!'

"Well, Jae, the pharmacist is, he's probably sleeping right now."

"Well, call and wake his ass up to get me this drug, I cannot go a week, and not be able to get the clean sweep."

(audience laughs) The moral of the story, is sometimes, you gotta take the drug.

(audience applauding) (gentle rhythmic music)