VO: Some of the nation's favorite celebrities... Why have I got such expensive tastes?

VO: ..one antiques expert each... Oh!

(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) VO: ..and one big challenge - who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices...

Answers on a postcard.

Oh!

VO: ..and auction for a big profit further down the road?

Having my own Marilyn moment here.

VO: Who will spot the good investments?

Who will listen to advice?

Do you like it?

No, I think it's horrible.

VO: And who will be the first to say "Don't you know who I am?!"

Well done, us.

VO: Time to put your pedal to the metal - this is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

VO: Yeah!

VO: It's a family feud for fortunes today in the home county of Essex, but it's not the only way, as our trippers will take a brief jaunt into Kent.

The amateur antiquarians are mother and daughter combo TV presenter Janet Ellis and popstar Sophie Ellis-Bextor.

SOPHIE: Have you noticed that the car is making quite a weird noise when we're driving?

It's like angel followers or something.

JANET: Oh God, sorry everybody.

VO: Oh, zut alors.

Our ladies of leisure are styling it out in this little French automobile, a 1989 Citroen Deux Chevaux.

C'est chic, n'est-ce pas?

SOPHIE: Mum, what kind of things do think you might try and buy today?

I shouldn't be giving you clues!

Hang on, you're a rival!

Like you I have sort of magpie tendencies and I like things that make me laugh or look amazing but they don't necessarily have to go next to something else that makes me laugh or looks amazing - I just like them all together, like you.

('BARNACLE BILL' PLAYS) VO: Janet's telly career began as an actress in 1978 but it was her golden time on "Blue Peter" in the '80s that launched her into the hearts and minds of the nation's children.

I do remember coming to your dressing room and all the make-up.

Crazy early memories.

JANET: People still write to me and just one word: "Noseybonk".

These people writing to your noseybonk.

(LAUGHS) People that would like me to foot their therapist bill, presumably.

Yeah.

Actually, it's me.

I'll stop it now if you don't like it.

Oh gosh, what gear's that?

Fun gear.

VO: Sophie's musical career took off in 1997 and she's since become a multiplatinum selling and award-winning artist with numerous top 10 singles.

My instinct would be to buy stuff that I would like to own, that I find beautiful.

JANET: Maybe we should both think about it as let's have an imaginary person, someone with a very discerning eye.

Who knows what's valuable in the world.

"Who'd buy that?"

VO: Lucky for you we have four discerning eyes belonging to two distinct connoisseurs of curiosity who'll be happy to help.

No I'm going to drive this, no I'm going to drive.

PHIL: No, I'm going to drive.

WILL: You always drive!

VO: If they can decide who's driving.

PHIL: There you go, just be gentle with me.

VO: There's nothing gentle about this throbbing beast.

The boys are seeing the Deux Chevaux and raising it a 1965 Ford Mustang, which makes it a three horse race.

WILL: It's like I'm driving a boat.

Iceberg!

WILL: I mean, I remember Janet from her "Blue Peter" days.

Yeah, I think, regrettably, I'm too old.

PHIL: Sophie's fairly cool, isn't she?

So she's going to be what, vintage, retro?

WILL: That sort of young, hip.

Bit like me, really.

WILL: (LAUGHS) VO: You got the vintage part right - aye, aye, sir.

Hailing from Worcester, veteran auctioneer Philip Serrell has a passion for the unusual, no matter how large or small.

Some might say he prefers a salvage yard to an antique center - and they'd be right.

So what do you think is more Serrell - a radiator that might be for warming your feet or part of a bridge?

PHIL: Never trust a man with a goatee beard.

The bearded brethren will rally.

Eh?

VO: Ooh.

Hairy-faced Will Axon's roots are in the Newmarket area - Ha-ha-ha!

- where, thankfully, he gave up the idea of being a jockey in favor of antiques and now wields a gavel with expert accuracy.

Oh, the tension!

Oh!

Do you reckon they're going to be interested in antiques?

Well yeah, they've obviously got an artistic flair, haven't they?

Yeah, like what we have.

Like what we have.

But I might come out of it with a desk tidy made of loo rolls, which I'm quite looking forward to.

What?

VO: Come on Philip, get with the program.

This treasure trip takes place in what used to be the old kingdoms of Essex and Kent, before a long journey north, over hill and dale, to auction in the town of Baildon in West Yorkshire.

The journey begins in a town that the Romans once called "Caesar's marketplace" - that's Chelmsford to you and I. JANET: Do you think there'll be a cappuccino here?

No.

PHIL: Good morning.

What do you fancy, 99 Flake?

Looks like an ice cream van, doesn't it?

Let me open the door for you, what have they given you?

WILL: Ever the gentleman.

PHIL: What have they given you?

Hi, there.

Hi Sophie, I'm Will, nice to meet you.

Hi, there, Will.

Survived!

Survive the 2CV?

It's definitely a driving experience.

We've got to decide who's going to work with who, haven't we?

OK.

I would say whatever happens, I think my mum's done enough driving in this beautiful vehicle.

So who'd like the keys, then?

I think you'd suit that, Philip.

Oh thanks!

Story of my life, that is.

Hop in my Mustang, it's as big as a whale.

Go for it, Mum.

Right, come on Sophie, let's go have a... Wowee.

OK. Oo-ooh!

I think you've just stalled that.

That's better, right, we're off.

See you later, guys!

VO: The intrepid treasure seekers go forth clutching £400 per team.

What damage can they do with that?

PHIL: Well, this is a big day for us, isn't it?

A big day.

Ooh, blimey!

You and your mum.

I know.

The gloves are off.

Absolutely, the gloves are off!

I hope you've got... Do you have an interest in antiques?

What do you collect?

I don't actually own very much in the way of antiques.

I own a lot of, I guess, is it called modern vintage?

Things in the last hundred years.

Yeah, that's fine.

That's cool.

'50s and '60s.

Well, do you know what?

That's a good eye, because that stuff is getting more and more collectable than sort of the 19th century old gunk that fogeys and dinosaurs like me used to buy.

For someone who says they don't know much about it, I think you know a lot more than you're letting on.

I don't, I don't, you'll find out!

VO: We soon will, as Philip and Sophie sally forth to their primary place of procurement - Baddow Antique Centre.

But it seems antiques couldn't be further from Philip's mind.

PHIL: I was immediately attracted to any place that calls itself The Strip Shop - we're in!

VO: Oh, lordy!

How are you?

You alright?

Yes, we get some funny phone calls.

Oh, yeah?

I bet you do!

We just wondered if you've got anything you can flog us.

Perhaps any unseen, unhidden, unrestored gem?

There are one or two bits that we've got that we inherited when we took the business over.

Let's have a look.

VO: Thankfully, Russ isn't a stripper - Ha!

- he's a furniture restorer, which is why he might just have something of interest.

Ooh, I like those.

Are they walnut?

What are they, Ercol, or...?

I think they're Ercol.

VO: Ercol is the name of a British furniture manufacturer, founded by Lucian Ercolani in 1920.

Retro Ercol furniture is very fashionable to young hipsters, so these are right up Sophie's street.

There's no extra for the dust!

(LAUGHS) You are too kind.

Have to get some spiders in with that too.

I don't want to be picky here - I just think that chairs with no seats might have just a limited appeal to the marketplace, do you?

VO: Cor, no flies on Phil, eh?!

PHIL: What seat would they have had in there?

RUSS: Rubber straps and then just a cushion.

VO: Clearly this isn't an antique store and these retro chairs don't have a price attached, but that doesn't mean they're free, eh, Russ?

This is just stuff that you want to get rid of.

This might be your lucky day.

RUSS: At a price.

SOPHIE: Nnnaah!

Oh, here we go!

I think at auction...

I mean, I think if they were all together and up together, I think they might make 40 to 60 quid.

Yeah.

But in the condition that they are...

I think they might make somewhere between 10 and 30 quid, is the absolute truth.

Yeah, you're asking... it's quite a lot of work.

Which means we've got to try and give you a fiver for them.

Try and give me a fiver.

VO: Go on, try and give him a fiver.

Hold on, let me get the money out, because very often, if you get money out... See the color of your money.

If I give you that, darling, cuz I've got a feeling you've got a stronger bargaining power here than I have.

Wah, wah-wah, wah-wah!

£5 would buy them.

Whay, get in there!

You're a gentleman.

Really?

Aw, thank you ever so much.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Do you know what, Sophie?

Thank you.

Now go and have a bath!

Yeah!

VO: Cheeky!

They settle on a rock bottom price for the chairs but if it's bums on seats they want, it's time to get to the bottom of their upholstery problem.

Ha!

As luck would have it, there's the very shop just round the corner, and Steve's agreed to have a look.

There they are.

They want Pirelli straps, that's what they want.

VO: It's a chair, not a car.

Probably looking at around about £20 a seat for the webbing.

Hell's bells!

It is expensive.

But I think if they had the webbing on the bottom, I think that would make them finished chairs.

VO: Well, depends on your definition of "finished".

PHIL: Could you do them for a tenner each?

I'd do 'em... 15 each.

Soph, I'm in your hands, darling.

I think do it.

OK, right, you're the boss, boss.

On my head be it?

Yeah.

Thank you very much for doing us a good deal.

VO: Well, who knew Philip's detour into a strip shop could be such a success?

Two Ercol chairs with webbing for £35, and they'll be ready for collection later.

VO: Janet and Will are cruising around six miles southwest, to a little town called Ingatestone.

JANET: I'm very attracted to quirky things.

Good.

I like weird stuff.

I love stuffed things.

You like taxidermy?

Taxidermy, yeah, yeah.

Not stuffed food, stuffed chickens.

I mean, I do actually have a fondness for those Victorian animals playing cards.

Oh, they're great, yeah.

Cricket matches, that kind of thing.

Boxing squirrels.

Yes, yes, exactly.

I don't think our budget will stretch to that.

No, I don't think it will!

No, no.

VO: That budget is £400 and they're about to begin their trolley dash for treasure at Hutchinson's.

Maggie is ready to deal - let the bargain buying commence.

Ooh.

JANET: Treasure trove!

It's like someone's library, actually.

Or the headmistress' study, I don't know which.

Right.

VO: Hmm, spend a lot of time in detention did we, Janet?

Oh look, there's a little pillbox for the modern man.

Oh, that's nice.

VO: Good gracious!

Made me blush.

It is warm in here.

VO: (CLEARS THROAT) Moving on.

Look at that.

For cakes.

JANET: That is rather amazing, isn't it?

And you know what the trend is like at the moment for sort of baking cupcakes and things like that, don't you?

Yeah.

VO: Like typical magpies, they're drawn towards the largest gleaming object in the shop.

It's been freshly polished, almost as though they knew we were coming.

WILL: Wacky enough?

Yeah, I like it.

Quite like to get some money out.

Oh, don't listen!

VO: This dazzling piece of plate is actually a Victorian centerpiece, with a whopping ticket price of £100.

WILL: I mean, it's nice that that's period and got some age to it, which I like.

What would you put on it?

I can see it with some big blousy peonies or something like that.

VO: Ex-"Blue Peter", she can whip up a floral arrangement in a trice.

Of course.

WILL: Everything's present and correct, good solid cast feet, stained pine.

Nicely engraved.

And I think I saw, yes, a little vacant cartouche.

Oh yes.

So people haven't had it initialed.

MAGGIE: No.

JANET: Ah, no.

VO: They're very smitten with the shiny centerpiece but they want a better price, so Maggie's getting the dealer on the line.

Yeah, definitely you don't want three numbers, we just want two.

And if he wants to talk to Janet, she's more than happy to speak to him.

I've got to try and use and abuse your celebrity status.

Nervous now.

"Gavin, it's me, Janet."

"Gavin..." Would you like to speak to Janet?

Oh, OK, you're a bit busy, are you?

Alright, OK. VO: Some grown men would jump at the chance.

So that's it?

You can't... Bye VO: He must be from the Valerie Singleton era.

With no movement on the price, they can't still be interested, can they?

JANET: I would be happier paying 90 for it, simply because the 100 sounds like a lot of money, and I think in an auction it would have to start lower, and if it made 100 we'd be happy.

Exactly.

If we just make our money back, then we're no better off.

I can't do it.

VO: Maggie's not for turning.

WILL: It's a lot of silver plate for £100.

Yeah?

Let's go for it.

Let's do it.

Right, get the money out.

Fine, thank you.

VO: They've bagged their first piece of swag, but I can't help thinking they may regret spending such a wad of cash on one item.

Onwards and upwards!

WILL: Thank you very much.

MAGGIE: Very nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Regards to Gavin!

I will, I will.

Sort of.

PHIL: I think those chairs are really cool, they've got a great 1960s, sort of retro-y look.

I love them.

I would own those.

How do you reckon your mum's getting on?

The worst thing that could have happened is she's just spent it all really quickly.

Do you think that'll happen?

Yeah, I don't think she would be as careful.

She's the sort of person when I go shopping with her, she's trying to encourage me to buy stuff.

So we're going to go and look at a bee farm, are we?

Yep.

There's a sting in the tail there, isn't there?

Oh, good.

Yeah, you bowl 'em, I'll hit 'em.

VO: Oh, beehive yourself!

Sophie's passionate about environmental issues, so the pair are off to Chelmsford Museum, home to a unique living exhibit - a superorganism - a bee colony, set in glass.

Here we are.

Hi, I'm Sophie.

Pleased to meet you.

Hi, nice to meet you.

I'm Roy, this is Richard.

We're local beekeepers.

Oh, very nice to meet you.

We look after some bees here.

VO: Richard Alabone and Roy Hardwicke are volunteer beekeepers who know just how crucial honeybees are to our environment.

SOPHIE: How many bees have you got here?

Maybe 10,000.

10,000?!

And what have you called them all?

Sorry.

Do they have names?

Yeah, yeah.

I'll open the book and... Why are bees so important?

ROY: For pollination purposes mainly.

For the environment.

Without bees, most crops don't get pollinated.

VO: Honeybees collect pollen, nectar and water to feed themselves and their larvae.

By doing so, they pollinate fruit, flowers, vegetables and crops, which puts the food on our plate, but the bee population in the UK is dwindling.

Last year's long, harsh winter put paid to a third of bee colonies.

Less bees means less food, and not just for us - the entire food chain is affected.

ROY: Bees can see ultraviolet light, so in some of these flowers there will be an ultraviolet pattern.

You can't see it but they can.

Oh, I like that bee fact - that's a good bee fact.

What is a bee's favorite flower to fly towards?

What's it looking for?

They're looking for nectar, this is the point, and pollen.

VO: Bees fly about 55,000 miles to collect enough nectar and pollen to make a pound of honey.

Wow, that's one and a half times round the world!

An average colony of around 50,000 bees needs 20 to 30 pounds of honey to survive a winter but they generally produce twice more than is needed.

The queen bee is leading us in, isn't she?

That's right.

VO: Ha!

The practice of collecting honey from bees dates back thousands of years.

Efforts to domesticate them can be seen in Egyptian art, around 4,500 years ago.

ROY: Beekeeping goes back centuries, you know.

But there's a big connection, isn't there, with the antique world and bees, because you've got beeswax for polish.

That's right.

You've got these things that people collect.

That's right.

It's like a social process, isn't it, almost?

That's right.

Is there a massive difference in bees across the world?

SOPHIE: Just the accent.

PHIL: Really?

No, there are different strains of bees, yes.

VO: Chelmsford's glass beehive is one of only a few set out in a way that gives people the opportunity to see the intricacies of a living, working colony.

Oh, wow.

Hello, guys.

RICHARD: This observation hive's been here for 30 or 40 years, we're not quite sure how long.

I tended it 30 years ago, so I know it's been here at least that long.

So what am I looking at?

What's happening in here, in bee world?

ROY: At the present moment there's a new queen in here, the old queen has swarmed, has gone off.

And do you know where the new queen is?

Does she have a specific..?

No.

Because she's only a virgin... That's a bit personal, she might not want you to tell me that!

No, no.

When she starts laying, we know she's not a virgin any more, you see.

VO: That's true.

The survival of a colony requires all bees to work together as a superorganism - the queen, thousands of female workers and in summer, hundreds of male drones.

They work all day.

When it comes dark or it gets too cold, they're all coming in, but they'll be working basically all night long.

They feed on honey, they keep the whole thing warm.

The drones don't sting.

SOPHIE: Oh, that's interesting.

PHIL: Comforting as well.

The drones are substantially bigger than the workers.

The main thing is they have big eyes.

They've got bigger eyes?

I'm still trying to work this out.

They all look kind of the same bee size.

VO: These hard workers don't just make honey, they make wax, which is used in all manner of things in our daily lives, from cosmetics to pharmaceuticals and household products such as candles.

Can we maybe have a go?

I'll have a go.

Put your fingers on there, push along.

That's it.

Oh, I'm going to break it.

You're doing a marvelous job.

You've done a good job of that, you really have.

Thanks, guys.

Would it be OK if I kept this so that I can give to my mum to say thank you for all those things she used to make me when she was doing "Blue Peter"?

Aw, well thank you very much for today, it was fascinating.

RICHARD: Our pleasure.

VO: The next time you flail around, desperately trying to swat the life from one of those stripy chaps, remember, it's not just the environment and the food chain that's affected - the honey bee really is the hardest working insect on the planet.

Ha!

WILL: You were pretty young when you decided to go into acting.

JANET: Well, yeah, that's all I ever wanted to do, really.

I think I started saying it before I really knew what it meant.

I did various plays and bits and pieces, including "The Sweeney", "Doctor Who"...

I mean, for me, you are "Blue Peter", I mean it has to be said.

How much do you reckon we would get for a genuine, made by the fair hands of Janet Ellis, Advent Crown?

I think we'd probably get tuppence ha'penny?

I was going to ask you to rustle one up and then maybe stick it in the sale!

You find the gear, I can make one.

VO: Where's the tinsel and baubles when you need them, eh?

VO: This dealing duo are hoofing it around 5½ miles west to the picturesque village of Blackmore, where there's an altogether more laid-back way of life.

WILL: Oh, this looks like it.

JANET: This looks great.

VO: It's spend, spend, spend, and Will and Janet have arrived at Megarry Antiques, where Judi and Peter have a shop stacked with curiosities and cake.

Yummy.

Hi, there.

Thank you very much.

Sorry, I'm distracted already.

I am looking at you, but I'm not, I'm really looking here.

WILL: Shiny things.

JANET: Yeah, shiny, shiny!

Sparkly bits.

Well, there's a lot here to have a look at, isn't there?

Yes.

VO: Straight to the shiny stuff again.

WILL: Shall we have a wander round the shop?

Yes, yes, sorry, normal voice, yes.

VO: Janet mentioned she liked quirky objects, and they don't come much quirkier than this piece of 19th century porcelain.

# She lives under the sea, she has company... # JANET: See I love this, that's so ridiculous.

I quite like it cuz it's showy and over the top.

Yeah.

Continental figure of a child sitting on a shell.

Going to put my neck out and say it's German, circa 1900.

I love the colors.

I love these dolphins.

VO: Queer looking dolphins!

It's quite pricey at £58, so they're browsing on - thank goodness.

And there was the cabinet that you were taken with when we first came in.

Well, yes.

Let's go and have a look at your little cabinet.

OK. Just a look.

VO: The magnetic pull of the silver cabinet is just too much for Janet, and their eyes have been caught by a rather fetching solid silver fishslice, so Judi's giving them a closer look.

That is nicely done.

Good set of clean hallmarks.

London.

You can tell it's Georgian cuz the leopard's got its crown on.

JANET: Really?

WILL: Yeah.

Aw, see, that's really clever to know that.

When George III dies, the leopard loses its crown.

Wow.

I like that.

Trout, I suppose, it looks like a trout or a pike, but it's £225.

At auction you would probably want that at 100, 150.

VO: The owner of the fishslice is just next door, so Peter's been dispatched with a home-baked bribe to see if he'll take £150.

Yes, he will take 150.

We can't say no now.

We can't say fairer than that, no.

I think your instinct there was right.

Shall we say yes to that?

JANET: Yes.

WILL: Do you like it?

I do like it, yes, I do.

VO: Buoyed up by bagging another treasure, there's no stopping them now.

Janet's had a brainwave.

Fish and fishslice, it's fantastic.

Oh, come on, it's done, we have to buy.

VO: The child with feet on fish has a ticket price of £58 and it belongs to Judi, so it's time for Janet to earn her Blue Peter badge for haggling.

Stand by.

WILL: I'll leave it with you.

See the thing is, Judi... Ha-ha, good start!

I love this.

JUDI: Me too.

And I love the sort of necessary pointlessness of somebody going to the trouble of putting tiny flowers on the scarf.

Yeah, I mean to fire something like that... JUDI: It's actually beautifully made.

It is beautifully made, and the colors are great.

It's hand painted as well.

Very, very pretty.

Yeah, it is very pretty.

Beautifully modeled.

Is it 30 quid of pretty do you think?

Ooh, that's pushing it a bit.

Look at that detail.

No, I wouldn't do it for 30.

35 surely.

Look at their little teeth.

40.

Bottom line.

She's got her fierce face on, look at you.

Look at this.

Yeah, I feel like I've been naughty.

Yeah, really.

38?

Yes.

OK. Oh, good work, both of you.

I'm impressed.

VO: Cor, Janet expertly executes the haggle!

£38 for the child with feet on fish, so along with the £150 fishslice, they've netted themselves a double deal.

A great first day on the quest for quirk, with both teams banking some loot.

Bedtime now - nighty night.

VO: Another day breaks out, and our antique aficionados are bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and catching up on the trip thus far.

SOPHIE: Did you get on well with Will?

Yeah.

I learnt a lot.

It's fascinating, watching someone like Will just go straight to something and tell me all about it or tell me if it's repro or tell me if it's been repaired.

I bet Phil's the same.

Phil's definitely got a good eye for walking in and being like "This is all rubbish except for that, that and that."

Yeah.

PHIL: What about Janet?

Yeah, well you know I sort of... That was a bit high.

(HIGH VOICE) "You know I..." She likes quirky things, things that speak to her - she sort of... You know, that she gets a reaction to.

Yeah.

It's a silly thing, isn't it, but some objects do give off a sort of vibration about whether or not they've had a happy life, don't they?

And, you know, I'm not at all... That's a bit hippy.

Sort of, except that I do think there's a way that you connect to something which is definitely to do with the fact... (SQUEALS) Sorry, it's alright, it's only, there's a little wasp in the car, but it's OK. Oh, yes.

Ah.

A little wasp in the car.

VO: Could be a bee.

Yesterday Janet connected with this breathtaking porcelain, a shiny silver centerpiece and a fishslice, which vibed £288 out of their pocket.

They've £112 to play with today.

She's got her fierce face on, look at you.

VO: Sophie and Phil bought two 1960s Ercol chairs for £5 - £35 in total, after Steve the upholsterer gets his hands on their bottoms, so to speak.

They really need to get a shop on today with their £365.

Thank you ever so much.

Thank you, you're welcome.

Now go and have a bath.

Yeah!

PHIL: She really is a star, she's a lovely, lovely girl, and she knows exactly what she wants.

Really?!

"I like that - we'll have that."

So what's your tactic, blow the lot or save some in reserve?

Follow Sophie, mate.

She's the boss, what she says goes.

Ooh.

VO: He's a big fan, then.

I said to Will, "Listen, this is win-win, because if I get more money than Sophie, then that's fine," and if you get more money than me, I've taught you well.

Well, I hope we both make a profit and I hope I make slightly more profit.

Hang on... VO: The fortune finders are rolling on to Battlesbridge in Essex, in pursuit of more plunder.

WILL: Morning.

Cor blimey, you're up early!

They're keen Philip, very keen.

We just, we thought this, how about us against you?

Yeah, we thought maybe it should be us against you.

No, we'd lose, that would be horribly embarrassing!

Let's spend some money.

Shall we go and have a look round?

Yes.

Yeah.

Thank you very much.

Have a good day!

Good luck guys.

JANET: Good luck, but in a less luck than us sort of way.

VO: Time to split up this family feud and get shopping.

Phil and Sophie have lots to buy, so what delights do they desire today?

PHIL: Do you like garden things?

Yeah, but kind of slightly off the beaten track things.

Off the wall.

We've got some weird stuff in our garden.

What have you got?

We've got, you know those children's rides you put 20p in?

We've got one of those.

Oh, cool.

We've got a big toadstool that was a prop for one of The Feeling's videos.

Yeah, weird stuff, we like that kind of thing.

Do you want something gardeny, funky, crazy, crackers?

Just...let's go and have a look.

I like the little rocking horse, that's quite cute, isn't it?

I quite like it.

That's My Little Pony, isn't it?

OK.

It's, what, 1960s?

Possibly later?

I'd say '60s.

It's molded plastic.

It is molded plastic.

It might be, yeah.

It's on a tubular steel base, but the good thing about molded plastic is it hasn't rotted.

And there's no sharp edges, for little peeps.

No.

I mean, what's it going to make?

Not very mu... Well, I don't know, these things are quite covetable.

VO: There's no price on old Dobbin, but owner George has just arrived on the scene and Sophie's got the bit between her teeth.

Yeah, we like your horsey.

We did have £40 on it, but it's only about £30.

PHIL: About?

GEORGE: About 25, yeah.

Can I ask you, I know that's a big ask, cuz I know you said 30, but how would you feel about 20?

I shouldn't really, should I?

No, you shouldn't.

But...OK. SOPHIE: Yeah?

GEORGE: Yeah.

OK, cool.

That's a good deal, that's a good deal.

VO: So a cool £20 for old Seabiscuit, and they're trotting off.

VO: Wasting no time, Phil's spotted something else he thinks could propel them to victory - look out.

What do you think?

Yeah, I like that actually.

It's a wooden propeller.

They're different sections of wood.

Right.

And they're all laminated together.

And they've got a slightly different curve and the early ones would be like off a First World War, off a Sopwith Camel or something like that, but they've become boys' toys, because people put clocks in them, they put barometers in them, they put them on walls.

It's just a decorative item.

VO: The propeller is priced at £245, so Phil and Sophie need to cut a good deal.

Owner Jim is standing by, but is he ready to take off some cash from that rather large price tag?

What could you do?

Uh...well like 120.

I would feel more confident about it if it was 100.

100.

She's a good girl, isn't she?

She is good.

Shall we go and have a look round and think about the propeller?

Yeah.

And if you could think about 100 quid, that would be absolutely wizard.

VO: It would be what?

It's all gone a bit Harry Potter over here.

What magic is happening elsewhere on site?

('BARNACLE BILL' PLAYS) VO: Janet's drawn to something that reminds her of the good old days.

I love that sign.

"Blue Peter"?

Sailor?

I think it might be a pub sign, or... Oh.

Yeah, the True Blue at Wick.

The True Blue at Wick.

Yeah, I would give it house room, and I think other people would respond in the same way.

How old do you think it is?

I think 20th century, but early.

Hang on, hang on.

WILL: How much is it?

JANET: 220.

How much have we got left?

A hundred and... 100-and-not-220.

112.

Gosh.

VO: With only £112 left, they need to get the dealer, David, on board.

Morning.

Morning, hello.

WILL: How are you sir?

DAVID: Hi there, not bad.

WILL: Good.

JANET: Hi, there.

DAVID: Hello, Janet.

JANET: Partner in crime.

Instantly recognizable.

Massive "Blue Peter" fan.

Really?

VO: Oh, promising.

I tell you what caught our eye was that sign you've got hanging outside.

DAVID: Oh, yeah, the pub sign, yeah.

But you've got 220 on the ticket.

Yeah.

I've got 112 in my pocket and that is everything that we've got.

I have had it a while, so I would let it go... For 100 quid?

And then that leaves us £12 to try and buy our fifth object.

I can do that.

Can you do that?

JANET: Really?

WILL: Do you like that?

Well, yes!

WILL: Should we go for it?

JANET: What's wrong with it?!

Shh!

No, no - it's... That is a deal.

VO: David's given them a knockout price for the sign, so they've got £12 left to spend and they're determined to do so.

What are those?

Honey pot book stands, would that be a sort of..?

Yeah, that would be a nice riposte.

A sort of poke in the eye, a poke in the eye for the other two after their bee visit.

Yes.

VO: More like a sting in the tail.

Ha!

Let's have a good look at them.

They're solid oak.

I like those a lot.

Do you?

Yeah.

Go and work your magic.

Oh... VO: They're taken with the honey pot bookends, which are priced at £20.

Janet's making a beeline for David to see if he can sweeten the deal.

The other team, who obviously we're in deep mortal combat with, were looking at bees and beehives yesterday, and we just thought it would be quite nice to do a little riposte to them in wooden bookstand form, for £12, we thought.

That's the ticket.

That's what we thought.

That's not an outrageous discount, is it?

I think we can do that.

So that's done.

I'm going to come and live with you!

This is... VO: I think he might take you up on that.

Good work.

So that's the sign and the bookends, 112 quid, deal.

Good work.

Thank you very much.

How's that?

VO: Cor, Janet and Will have spent out and their treasure trove is full, so they've got the rest of the day to kick back and relax.

It's quite exhilarating, our position, isn't it, really?

I think so, yeah, the pressure's off, isn't it?

The pressure's off, yeah.

Oh, look who's come in, look who's coming this way.

(THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY THEME) Wah, wah-wah, wah...

So how are you two getting on?

How are you feeling?

We're good.

We've spent up.

All of it, nothing less.

Well done.

Philip's bought a barrow of bricks... We've bought two cool things so far.

Two things I like.

So... Well, yeah, we'll leave you to it.

We're off to the sweet smell of victory.

Buckle up.

JANET: Right.

Ready.

WILL: We're off.

VO: While Janet and Will are off gallivanting around the countryside, this duo still have £345 to spend on trinkets.

SOPHIE: I think it would be quite fun to get something that's a bit of a talking point, a bit interesting.

Really?

Yeah.

I saw a cart earlier over there.

Really?

Well, it's interesting cuz it's only got one wheel, right?

Sounds wonderful!

One-wheel carts are in this year.

VO: Says who, Phil?

One-wheel cart, bottomless chairs - whatever next?

PHIL: But isn't that..?

That's a fab garden ornament, I think.

What I would say, I don't really mind too much about the cart, I like the wheel.

Yeah?

Yeah, I think the wheel's lovely.

We're hardly just bidding for the wheel.

We'll try and buy all of it, get it all in the auction and let people make their own mind up.

Now I know what I would do.

SOPHIE: You'd take all of it?

PHIL: I'd take all of it.

What's the demand like for one-wheeled trailers round here?

JIM: Fantastic.

If the shafts are in good condition.

You know, you see them used as flower beds, all sorts of things.

As a flower bed, that's a nice idea.

So this, Jim, would date to where?

Probably about 1860?

Victorian times, 1860... Yeah, and it's English.

What was the original ticket price on it?

The original price was about 450, something like that.

Wow.

I think the way it is it's 50 quid's worth, Jim.

100 quid's worth.

50 quid's worth.

VO: Sophie and Philip can see the potential of the cart as a chi-chi garden ornament, so they've got a price in mind for it and the propeller, which Jim is asking £120 for.

What about if we bought this and the propeller?

150 quid the two?

I'll have to phone a friend still.

I'll just check on what I paid for them.

VO: Sophie and Philip retire to a cafe and drink tea while Jim phones a friend.

Will it be a deal or no deal?

No, that's a different show, isn't it?

So what's the verdict then?

Have you found anything out about the propeller?

Yes.

The aircraft was built pre-1940.

Wow.

The hub has eight holes - later propellers had six.

Of course, the post-1940 ones are really the valuable ones, aren't they Sophie?

Yes, exactly.

Yeah, those are the really mega valuable ones, so... No, I don't think so.

I think we'd like to buy the two off you.

If you buy the two, I think I already said 120, which I think is... 120 the two, thanks Jim.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no - if you're prepared to say 170 the two, it's a deal.

Yeah, I trust you Jim, I think that's, I think you're being... Jim, you've been more than generous.

Honestly.

Yeah, very generous.

And that's cash now.

That's cash now.

And we'd like them delivered to Arbroath.

VO: Don't push it too far, Philip!

# I come from a long distinguished line... # VO: The old cart and propeller cost them a tidy £170 and the hobbyhorse a mere £20, so their boot is almost full of loot.

VO: This twosome are day tripping around 30 miles south, over the Thames, into Kent, to Gravesend.

It's a glorious day, so what better to do than take a walk around a graveyard?

Ha!

Might seem strange to some, but it's one of Janet's passions, don't you know?

Janet loves how gravestones tell a story of the person buried there and their families.

Gravesend Cemetery in Kent dates back to 1839 and has many such stories but people used to come here to be entertained, not interred, and Verna Roe tells the unusual tale.

JANET: Hello!

We have brought the weather with us.

How nice to meet you, Verna.

Hello.

Thank you for the weather, and welcome to Gravesend and Milton Cemetery.

Thank you.

VO: Gravesend Cemetery began life as a teagarden called Victoria Gardens, named after Princess Victoria, in 1834.

VERNA: John Robert Hall, who owned the land, made every effort to make it into a lovely place.

He planted these trees, he provided people with a bowling green, and had this hall here built as an assembly hall, so that people could have concerts there and dances.

So it was purely a business venture for him, was it?

VERNA: Yes.

JANET: Oh, I see.

VO: Unfortunately, as the teagarden was three quarters of a mile outside Gravesend town center, and as people weren't prepared to travel, the business died.

John Robert Hall thought "Well, if it's too far out of town to be successful as a tearoom, perhaps it will be successful as a cemetery," so they formed the Gravesend and Milton Cemetery Company.

He sounds like a proper sort of Victorian entrepreneur, doesn't he?

"If one thing doesn't work, I'll try something else."

Always going to need... Well, people always die, that's just a fact!

VO: The graveyard business was booming at that time, so they immediately employed the architect Stephen Geary, who had recently designed Highgate Cemetery, to redesign the teagarden into a graveyard and build underground burial chambers called catacombs.

VERNA: Stephen Geary was very passionate about catacombs, so he persuaded them to build catacombs here.

There's room in there for 500 people.

500?

500!

Yeah, but the English didn't want to go into catacombs.

"What's all that about?"!

Because you're hidden away in there, whereas if you're in the cemetery, people can look and say "Oh, look at that marvelous monument there.

Who's that important person?"

What happened to them, then?

Well, 13 people chose to be buried there, but they were closed relatively early and they haven't been used since.

VO: So despite all that design effort, or perhaps because of it, 10 years later the graveyard went bust.

Catacombs were unfashionable and expensive, as were grave plots.

JANET: What happened to Mr Hall, then?

Is he here?

No.

Because he wasn't a local man.

He wasn't even buried in his own cemetery?

Ultimate indignity, it really is, isn't it?

You'd have thought there'd be some perk to the job!

VO: Although John Robert Hall isn't buried here, there are a few people of note, including one Major Herbert Garland, a long forgotten hero of the First World War.

This looks more recent than the ones surrounding it.

It is.

Yes, as you can see...

Hang on, "Lost but found"?

What does that mean?

Well, a descendant of the man buried here... WILL: Major Garland.

...was tracing her ancestor, Major Herbert Garland.

Not very old.

And when she finally found it, she found it had no headstone, so she decided to give him a gravestone.

Now, he went out and worked with the Egyptian army during the First World War, trying to blow up the trains of the Turks, who were of course the enemy in the First World War.

And he got together with somebody you might have heard of, Lawrence of Arabia.

No, really?

Yes, and he was the one who taught Lawrence how to make these bombs to blow up the trains.

VO: Major Garland's role in the campaign that allowed the British to bring down the Ottoman Empire was crucial but his part was overshadowed by his famous brother in arms.

He died forgotten and almost penniless in Gravesend, aged just 42.

I think "lost but found" is particularly apt, isn't it?

VO: Although the original cemetery company was declared bankrupt, the graveyard continued in private ownership, and after many extensions, people are still being buried here today.

I feel so privileged sometimes, to be standing in front of these, reading people's stories, and I hope they kind of know I was here and I enjoyed it.

Thank you very much.

When you were teensy-weensy...

Yes?

Who inspired you to sing?

Who did you look up to?

Initially, probably Julie Andrews.

I used to watch "Sound of Music" and "Mary Poppins".

Yeah.

It's funny you talk about "Mary Poppins", cuz the song that always makes me smile is David Tomlinson, "Let's Go Fly a Kite".

Actually, we sang that at my wedding, the congregation sang it.

It's on my phone!

Really?

Yeah, yeah, I love it, I absolutely love that song.

And Madonna, I loved Madonna when I was little.

Your career was fairly stratospheric, wasn't it really?

There was quite an exciting bit where my first band got a record deal before I left school.

I think when you're first starting out everybody encourages you to think that whatever you get offered to do, the right answer is always yes, but actually, I've always been a big believer in saying no sometimes too.

Sometimes it's no, isn't it?

Well, that's true if you're shopping as well, isn't it?

Yes.

Exactly.

VO: Our deal-doers... are touring around 11 miles southeast to a suburb of Southend-on-Sea called Westcliff-on-Sea.

Do you think we look at all conspicuous with our horse sticking out the sunroof?

I think we can just cruise into town under the radar, no one will even know we're there.

VO: Last stop for curiosities is Sally's.

Let's hope she's not out of them, as it says on the sign, as these guys still have £175 to spend.

I'm excited, it looks good already.

Let you loose, let you loose, let you loose.

Boop, boop, be-doop.

This place is cool.

Nice to meet you.

I think that's quite funny!

This is Sophie in heaven, isn't it?

Yeah, I think it might be.

Come back in an hour.

We're going to have a real good look round here, aren't we?

Yeah.

VO: Sophie owns lots of vintage and retro items, from furniture to frocks.

I'm having my own Marilyn moment here.

VO: Lovely.

Time to get shopping.

Sally's is full of weird and wonderful objects, and outside there's something that might have them blowing their big tops.

We call it the elephant's foot.

It's here.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

That's really cool.

Did you see that?

From the circus.

Yeah, that's 20.

Isn't that cool?

Yeah, I quite like that.

Yeah?

It's a brand-new, effectively, wooden drum, isn't it?

And it's brilliant, it came from a circus.

VO: I gather it came from the circus.

I feel like trumpeting at the moment, yeah.

VO: Not a good choice of words, Phil.

I quite like that.

Yeah, I think that's great.

Shall we have another look around and see if there's anything else that grabs us?

Yep.

VO: The elephant footstool is on the backburner while they have a thorough rummage, which gives Sophie the perfect opportunity to check out some vintage knickknacks...paddywacks.

It's only a pound.

What is that?

What, a bra?

VO: Seriously?

No, but is it, is it..?

Oh, I don't know...

I feel a bit sad if you don't know what that is.

No, I do.

No, I... Aww!

Poor Phil!

I don't get out much!

VO: Go and take your feet out of your mouth, Phil.

I've gone red now.

PHIL: Why does that elephant's foot thingy still appeal to you?

Cuz it's quirky and evokes happy memories of going to the circus and it's something you can't buy off-the-peg and you can't find somewhere else.

I've got to be truthful with you here, I don't know... 35 years I've been doing this now, I don't think I've ever seen an elephant's stool.

Well, there you go.

VO: Hm.

Suspiciously free of elephant prints too.

Now's your moment.

Let's be part of it.

VO: She's sold on the circus curio, and what Sophie wants, Sophie gets, as we know.

Elephant foot, is that what you call it?

Yeah.

Cuz that's what he plants his foot on?

Yeah.

If there's going to be an elephant in the auction room, we're sorted.

There's always an elephant in the room!

Yeah!

VO: And right now it's the price.

Phil's suggested £10.

Oh, come on, 15, 15.

Cut in, say you're on my side.

Well... 12 quid, how's that?

SALLY: OK, 12.

SOPHIE: Wow.

I'm going to go and pay for it quickly, you keep her talking.

Thank you so much.

That's an amazing discount, thank you.

VO: £12 bags them the circus equipment and they're all stocked up and ready for auction, so pack up your trunk of treasure and be off.

VO: The forage for fortunes is at an end.

Time for the teams to unwrap their goodies.

Let's see what you got.

Yeah, let's have a look.

Yeah, give us your best.

Oh, cool!

WILL: Look at his face!

I'm guessing that you chose that Mum, not you, Will.

Yes.

Ah!

Well spotted!

How much was your thing, Mum?

38 was it?

I can see someone making that into quite a cool lamp, actually.

It's actually...

Lamp?!

It's a beautiful thing as it is, Phil, look at that!

Look at the dolphins.

VO: They're not dolphins!

What do you think to that?

SOPHIE: I like that.

I don't know what it is, but I like it.

Can't you see that in the middle of your table with peonies in it?

PHIL: So how much was that?

WILL: 100 quid.

Punchy.

And your beehive?

The beehive bookends, that was Janet.

They're dogwood, aren't they?

They're oak!

Dogwood, you can tell by the bark.

VO: Uh-oh!

he's here all week, folks!

Wait there.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-dah!

Oh man, I love that.

That is wicked.

I do, that's my favorite.

Yeah, that's fantastic.

Quirky, folky, decorative.

I think that's really lovely.

SOPHIE: I might bid on that.

That is fun, isn't it?

No, no, no!

No!

Feel free to!

Feel free to!

How much did that cost you?

Cost us 100 quid.

Well done.

Go up to 50.

Go up to 50.

Go up to 50!

Let me put this down.

Yeah.

Right, you ready for this?

Yes, we are.

Yeah, you ready for our weird and wonderful?

I can't wait.

Careful, cuz... What time does the show start?

There's more!

They're lovely.

Ooh, I like that Philip.

You like them?

This is an elephant's foot, so this is what the elephant would put its feet on in the circus.

It's been used in a circus.

Ordinarily I would have said you could put a piece of glass in there and turn it into a table but now somebody's going to take that home and they're going to get their pet elephant to put his foot on it.

Well, I'm sure there'll be plenty of maharajas, plenty of maharajas at the sale.

This one I saw and I thought "I like you".

I love the colors.

Is it a he or she?

Well, I thought it was a boy but he's called it Sophie, so...

The chairs...

The chairs are great.

We managed to get the chairs themselves for £5.

JANET: Wow.

WILL: For both?

SOPHIE: For both.

WILL: That's giveaway.

VO: Don't forget £30 for the webbing and Steve's thrown in some cushions.

So come on then, where's the other lot?

Our other crazy cat.

It's your phone?!

It's a wagon with one wheel.

You bought that?

It's Victorian, late 1800s.

It's got one wheel!

And you could take off the wheel and put nice cushions in it.

Trained her well, haven't I?

Yeah, I was just going to say, you've been hanging out with Philip too long!

I actually do think that would be quite nice.

Or you could make it into a flower bed, but it's 50 quid so... OK.

I think it's time for a drink, isn't it?

It's been great fun.

VO: Having clapped eyes on each other's lots, how do they fancy their chances now?

I think my mum has approached this in the same way I have really, she's bought stuff she likes.

That little figurine in the shell, I mean... PHIL: Has that got "Janet Ellis" written all over it?

It sure has, I mean, there's no way Will's picked that up and gone "Hey Janet, check this out!"

JANET: Those chairs are lovely.

I would give those house room.

Yeah, they could easily make 10 or 20 quid you know.

PHIL: I love their sign.

Their sign is wonderful and I would own that.

Who's going to win?

I don't know.

I don't think it's obvious, actually.

We've bought, like we said, a huge variety of stuff, haven't we?

From a Georgian silver fishslice...

I've had a lot of fun.

Have you?

But say all this now, because after the auction... Yeah, you might be like "Oh, that Will, he knows nothing!"

Fishslice?

What was the point of a fishslice?!

VO: To auction, Don't spare the horses.

VO: They're all heading north, around 230 miles, to an auction in Baildon, West Yorkshire.

JANET: I'm feeling strangely nervous.

That's cuz you're driving this car again.

That is...

The auction I'm not worried about.

Just getting there.

We've got to get up a hill first!

This is the first auction I've ever been to.

JANET: Is it?

SOPHIE: Yeah.

It's how I ended up buying a commode.

Because I got so overexcited.

When they're calling your lots I'll be going "Booo".

You'll be offering them things I can't, like singing.

I might have an old badge somewhere.

You're a beautiful singer.

But I think I've given most of my badges away to traffic wardens, so... Well, William, this is a gorgeous day, isn't it?

Beautiful.

Roof down, jacket off.

Eh?

Not quite sleeves rolled up, but nearly.

Oh, you are.

I've got demi-roll.

I'm actually getting a bit twitchy about this now.

But I can just feel the bottom just beginning to tighten just a little.

WILL: I thought that was the suspension.

(LAUGHS) VO: Halfway Auctions at the Halfway House in Baildon is the seat of today's epic antique joust.

If all goes terribly wrong, they can pop next door and drown their sorrows.

WILL: Oh, dear, oh, dear, what is that?

Someone's left a pile of wood in the corner.

Oh, behave.

(SQUEAKING) WILL: What have you done to that car?

Nice to see you again.

Great to see you!

How are you?

I'm pretty well, lovely to see you.

Hello.

Feeling confident?

Nice to see you.

Uh, not really, no.

Oh, Philip!

Come on, let's go.

It's all going to be good, come on.

It's going to be good, it is going to be good.

We need to swap sides here.

22 I'm bid, do I have 24, at 22 I have, do I have 24 anywhere?

VO: Philip Chester strikes a powerful pose at the helm of today's sale and he's got his own thoughts on our teams' lots.

I enjoy a challenge.

Sophie and Phil have brought us a circus elephant's foot stand.

Unfortunately, the circus isn't in town today but we'll be doing our very best.

Janet and Will have brought us what I believe to be a 19th century, probably German, porcelain figure.

Unfortunately nowadays the people aren't displaying as they used to.

Sophie and Phil have brought us two rather nice 1950s armchairs.

They are of the Ercol design, although there's no markings on them, so we can't actually sell them as Ercol.

Janet and Will have brought us this splendid George III fishknife.

George III silver at its very best.

Sophie and Phil have brought us a cart.

What can I say, now?

It's got a good wheel.

VO: Janet and Will went all out and spent their whole £400 budget to present five lots for auction.

I'm going to come and live with you!

This is my perfect shopping day.

He's the main man.

Boop, boop, be-doop.

VO: And Sophie and Phil also amassed five bold lots, forking out £237.

What is that?

A bra.

I've gone red now.

SOPHIE: (LAUGHS) VO: It's time to take this antiquarian joust into the saleroom, where all profits will go to Children In Need.

I'm getting a bit twitchy.

Are you nervous?

I'm really nervous.

Yeah, I am.

VO: It's up, up and away with the propeller, Sophie and Phil's first lot.

It's a lovely thing.

I love it.

We might get some people who are actually looking for one.

"If there's one thing on my wishlist, what would it be?"

I'm going to start this with me at £30.

Do I have 32?

32, 35, 38, 40, 42, 45, 48.

On the phone at 48.

50, 50.

And five, and 60.

On the phone at £55 I have, 60.

65, 70.

75 on the phone.

80, 80 I'm bid.

And five.

80 I've got, do I have five?

85.

Yes!

Come on!

95.

100, 100 I've got, £100.

VO: It just didn't take off the way they'd hoped.

There's no justice in this room.

No.

VO: Can Janet and Will make a dazzling profit with the shiny centerpiece?

Start me at £50, this is for nothing.

£50 anywhere?

Surely.

At £50, worth 50 to start me?

Surely at £50?

Start me at 20.

£20 only, 20 I'm bid.

22.

I like "start me at 100".

30, 32, 35, 38.

Keep going, keep going.

42, 45.

At 45, 48 I'm bid, do I have 50?

At £48, 50, and two, 52, and five.

Surely.

52 I'm bid, do I have five anywhere?

55, and eight?

I'm selling it at £55.

Cheap.

So cheap.

Somebody's got a bargain.

I'm sorry about that.

We liked it, didn't we?

You liked it.

But we liked it.

VO: A disappointing start for both teams, which means there's some catching up to do.

Well, things are looking up Sophie.

They've lost more than we've lost!

Things are looking up, cuz it's the cart next.

VO: One-wheeled carts are in vogue, according to Mr Serrell.

Will the crowd think so?

We might have put the horse before the cart here.

His puns are terrible.

It's a restoration piece.

WILL: That it is.

They're laughing at us.

We're actually being laughed at here.

I can start here on commission at £20.

WILL: It's an outrage!

PHIL: Isn't it?

Come on!

22.

22.

Yes!

26 takes me out, sir, to 28.

30.

32.

34.

These people are mad.

It's cheap at £34.

36, 38.

Philip'll deliver it.

Not many people have one of these.

Even I don't know why they're bidding on this.

40.

42.

What are they doing?

Stop!

It's going to wipe its face, Philip.

One more.

At £42.

It's yours, sir, well done.

Someone paid £42 for that.

VO: With only one wheel, the cart couldn't turn a profit.

That's another loss for Sophie and Phil.

Will Janet and Will's George III fishknife win them a slice of profit?

WILL: Don't see many fish eaters in here.

If they were a set of steak knives, I reckon I might be in business!

Start me at £100, this is cheap.

Surely!

£100 to start me?

50 to get me going.

Surely.

50 I'm bid.

Thank you.

Five.

60, and five.

70, and five.

80, and five.

I like his hand movements.

90, and five.

100.

105.

Oooh!

105, 110, 115, new bidder.

115, 120, sir?

120 I've got, can I say five?

Don't lose it now.

Still cheap.

At 120 I'm selling, then.

18.

It could've been a lot worse.

VO: The fishknife couldn't cut it, and with losses all round, hopes are high for Sophie and Phil's retro hobbyhorse.

Nice thing, is it worth £30 to you?

WILL: No.

PHILIP: £20 anywhere?

20 I've got, can I have 22 now?

24.

I don't want to worry anybody but that is a profit.

32, 34, 36.

At £36, are we finished at £36?

28.

Well done, you.

VO: Sophie's choice bags them the first profit of the day.

Well done, Sophie.

Well done.

VO: Surely there's a frenzy of fortune to come for Janet and Will's porcelain?

Oh, yes, that was your buy.

Completely your buy.

Yeah.

Lovely piece.

Lovely piece.

SOPHIE: I don't believe him.

50 anywhere?

40?

Start me at 20, I'll take 20 to get me going, at £20 I'm bid.

Thank you.

Do I have 22 now?

22, 25.

28?

Do I have 28 on it?

25 I've got, can I say 28 on it?

25 I'm bid, got 25 only.

Oh, that's such a bargain!

VO: The child with fish on feet was a flop, and their losses just keep mounting.

Sophie and Phil's retro chairs are up next, but having no designer name may not sit well with the bidders.

If they don't make a profit, there really is no justice, is there?

Yeah, it's true.

Two lovely armchairs.

Can I say £50 for the pair?

£50 anyone?

You can try!

£20 anywhere?

At 20?

No interest?

20 I'm bid.

Thank you, sir.

Do I have two now?

20 I've got, can I say 22?

At £20 I'm bid, do I have 22 anywhere?

£20 only.

28.

They know it's got new webbing?

New webbing, and style.

VO: Our eclectic lots aren't enticing the bidders today, but Sophie and Phil have made one profit and lost the least, so are slightly ahead, or is that less behind?

Janet and Will are yet to make a profit.

Can they create a buzz with their beehive bookends?

Thank you.

Everybody likes books.

Here we go.

£20 to start me, £20 the bookends.

Surely.

20 I'm bid, thank you, sir, do I have 22?

This is cheap.

At £20 I've got, do I have 22 now?

At £20 I'm bid, do I have 22?

£20 I've got, can I say 22?

Get heady on that feeling, guys.

Hands up if you can read.

At £20 I'm bid, selling at £20.

500.

We made a profit!

We made a profit!

Woo!

VO: At last, a profit, but it may be too little too late.

It all rides on the final two lots.

Janet and Will's retro pub sign takes the stage.

These are very desirable items.

We need our sign to make about 500 quid.

£20 I've got, do I have 22?

At 22.

At 25 I've got.

Come on, this is for nothing.

At £25 I'm bid, do I have 28 in it?

£25 I've got, do I have 28 anywhere?

What?

Is anybody opening a pub anywhere?

£25, this is for nothing at £25.

Oh!

VO: Huh!

What a blow!

That crashing loss pretty much seals Janet and Will's fate.

(PRETEND TO SOB) Shock.

VO: It's the grand finale.

Roll up, roll up, see the mighty elephant's footstool, Sophie and Phil's final lot.

I think the old elephant's jobby is going to do very well.

I do, yeah, I do.

On the way up here, I passed a number of elephants in the fields.

Did you see them?

All without a stool.

(MIMICKS ELEPHANT) # Nellie the Elephant packed her trunk and trundled off to the jungle... # £30.

Come on, your neighbors won't have one of these.

20 I'm bid.

Thank you, sir.

22 behind you, 24, 26, 28.

Do I have 30 anywhere?

28, I'm selling it at £28.

Are we all finished?

30, new bidder.

32.

Come on.

Come on, one more.

32 I'm bid.

Do I have 34..?

34, good man.

36, 36 I'm bid.

At £36 only.

It's yours.

Hey, well done!

Well done, well done.

VO: Sophie picked another winner - the elephant's footstool elevates them to victory, but with only three lots profiting, there's not a lot to shout about.

I'm so sad!

That was my contract for the next series!

VO: The teams each had £400.

Janet and Will cashed in on one item and after auction costs, made a loss of £199.10, leaving them with only £200.90.

Sophie and Phil did only slightly better, winning on two items.

After costs, they made a loss of £45.12, leaving them with £354.88.

How undignified for poor old Dobbin!

No, the French go, "Ahh!"

That was just the end, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Was that an auction or was that an auction?

VO: I thought it was an auction.

WILL: That was an auction!

I think the girls should drive the Mustang.

Seeing you in that is worth it, so yeah, I'm more than happy, ladies.

See you later...

This is not au revoir, this is goodbye.

BOYS: Bye!

Woah!

VO: Pedal faster, Will!

SOPHIE: That was trippy.

JANET: What would your fantasy car be?

Oh, a Penelope Pitstop style.

Oh, yeah.

VO: Bon voyage.

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