-Okay, let's just go through the plan one more time.

First, we go to the kitchen and everybody meets you and instantly falls in love with you.

Then we start Passover.

We'll read prayers and keep talking to my family or whatever.

My dad is probably going to make you lead a prayer or two, but that's fine because you memorized all the prayers.

Then me and my brother will help mom carry her world famous matzo ball soup to the table and you're going to try it and be like, "Holy cow, this is the greatest soup I've ever had in my life."

-But what if it isn't the greatest soup I've ever had in my life?

-No, trust me, it will be.

Then we just eat dinner, we look for the Afikoman, sing some prayers, say goodbye, and leave.

Easy peasy.

In and out.

Okay, you got it?

-Yes.

-Great.

What?

-I don't know, Ezra.

Why can't we just tell them the truth?

-We can't, Bri.

My parents need me to date someone Jewish.

They'd freak out if they knew you were Mormon.

-Latter-day Saint.

-Whatever, just- let's keep it a secret and we'll be fine.

Okay?

-Okay.

-What is that?

-Oh, bread pudding for your family.

-Bri, Bri.

-Well, it's my mom's recipe, so I figured, you know-- -It's leaven food.

We can't eat leavened food on Passover.

Remember?

-Right, right, right.

Sorry, sorry-- I-- Sorry, it's just that I'm really nervous and I know that you guys have a ton of rules and I just-- -Hey, it's okay.

My parents are going to love you because you're really charming and you're really cute.

Okay?

Look down for me.

All right, let's do this.

Aaron: You're Mormon?

-Shoot.

Aaron, please, don't tell Mom.

-Don't tell her what?

That you've been lying about your boyfriend for six months now?

-Well, seven, actually.

-Seven months?

-Seriously, come on.

I'll literally pay you not to tell Mom.

-Okay.

30 bucks.

-Fine.

Whatever.

-For real?

Oh, I'll take whatever you have in your wallet, honestly.

-Really?

-I see some 20s.

-30 is all you're getting.

-30?

Well, I mean, if I just take some-- -No, don't touch it.

Dad: Ezra.

-Hey, Dad.

-Who's your friend?

-Yes, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Brian.

Brian, Dad.

-Nice to meet you.

-Likewise.

You like bourbon?

-Do I like bourbon?

Do I like bourbon?

It's kind of- kind of early.

I'm an alcoholic.

-Ezra, can I have a word with you for a sec?

We'll be right back.

You don't need that.

Come on over here.

Hey, you're dating an alcoholic?

-Well, he went through a rough patch in high school, but he's completely clean now and he just doesn't like to talk about it that much.

-Are you sure this is the right guy?

-Yes, Dad.

Yes.

-You come in, you don't say hi to me.

-Hey, Mom.

What are we talking about?

-Ezra's dating an alcoholic.

-What?

-Brian is my boyfriend.

-The alcoholic.

-You two are going to be nice to him tonight.

-Of course.

-Okay.

Where did you meet him?

In the alleyway?

-Oh, my dear Lord.

-By a dumpster?

Does he have a house or is it a cardboard box?

-You're all so cute.

-Okay, so, Ezra.

-Hi.

-You're gay or whatever.

If you two had a kid, do you think it would be gay, too?

-What?

-Because two gay dads, no mom.

-I'm not answering that.

-Ezra?

-Yes.

-Is your grandpa okay?

-Yes.

Don't worry.

He's just homophobic.

-Oh.

-Okay, wait.

Ezra, who's on top?

-Sorry, did you say something?

-Some grape juice for the Morm- alcoholic.

You'll love it.

-Thank you, Aaron.

-All right, everybody.

Page 10.

First cup.

Brian, why don't you lead us in prayer?

-Mm-hmm.

Ahem.

-You've got this.

-Barukh attah Adonai, Eloheinu Melekh ha-olam, borei pri HaGefen.

-Amen.

-Amen.

I was thirsty, wasn't I?

Sorry.

-All right.

Aaron: If you're thirsty, have some more.

-Thank you.

-Oh, no, Aaron, that's fine.

-He can have a little more.

Come on, just one more cup.

Just one more cup.

-I'm good.

Thank you.

-There's like two Transformers-- -When you're done with this, come and help me with the soup, okay?

-Okay.

-Brian, don't you dare move a muscle.

-No, I we-- Ezra.

Ezra?

-You're almost ready for dinner?

-Oh, I'm ready for something because I love you.

-Are you okay?

-I want to show you how much I love you.

-Are you okay?

-I'm great.

I just want you to know I love you and I love your family.

Even though your mom scares the crap out of me.

-Did you drink all this?

-I did.

-All this is inside you?

-It's in my belly and it feels good.

It was good.

-Let's go.

-Oh, where are you going?

You're bad.

-No, we're not.

Right this way.

-Wait a minute.

-Brian, look at me.

-He's on top.

But only because I'm scared.

But I'm going to get him.

I'm going to get him one day.

-These lovely photos, Brian.

-But look at you.

-What happened to you?

You reek of alcohol.

-No.

-What did you drink?

-What did you drink?

-The juice.

-Ezra.

-Yes, Mom, I'll be right there.

Brian, please listen to me.

We're going to go back to the table for the rest of the night, water only.

-Why are you giving me another rule?

You have all these rules.

-Brian, please.

We can still save this.

We're going to go back.

Just water.

Here, look.

If you do this for me, it's going to be more than a kiss.

Okay?

-Like what?

-Let's go.

-But like what?

What's more than a kiss?

Like what?

-Right over there.

It smells amazing in here.

Did you spike the grape juice?

-I don't know what you're talking about, dude.

-Dude, what the hell, man?

You know this is important.

-You're freaking out right now.

-You got my boyfriend drunk.

-I got the Mormon drunk?

For real?

-Aaron, Ezra, what are you doing?

Take the soup out to the dining room.

It's getting cold.

Lenore: Give Papa his first.

-Sorry, Mom.

-It smells delicious.

-Thanks, pal.

-Here you are, nice and hot.

-I appreciate it.

-Good?

Everybody?

-This is the greatest soup I've ever had.

-The verdict is in.

-Glad you like it.

You know, Lenore stayed up half the night to make sure-- -What is this?

It's like a noodle, but it's a ball.

I love this.

The vegetables-- -I thought he doesn't drink.

-He doesn't at all.

Actually, only soup when he-- -He's clearly wasted.

-No.

He-- -What's going on?

-He's drunk because Aaron spiked the grape juice.

-What?

-Hey, I'm not the one who brought a Mormon over to Passover.

Lenore: What?

Ezra.

Can I see you outside for just a moment?

-Mom.

-Right now.

Everything's fine.

-Mom, I'm sorry.

-You're dating a Mormon?

-Latter-day Saint.

-Whatever.

-I just didn't want you to freak out.

-Freak out?

Freak out?

I thought I was very clear about my expectations.

If your grandmother was still alive to see this, she would be so disappointed.

-Oh, no, thank you.

I can't.

Lenore: I knew it.

Why couldn't you have dated a Jewish boy?

You could have met him at Temple.

You could have- oh God, how many wives [?]

How many husbands are you going to have?

Is Brian going to have a bunch of husbands?

-Did you catch the Niners game?

Lenore: I have one word for you, and it's magma.

Do you understand, Ezra?

Ezra.

-I don't want you guys to hate Brian just because he's Mormon.

He's more than Mormon, Mom.

-No, it's because you lied to us, Ezra.

-Yes.

No, I thought that... you could be happy for me.

-Ezra, I am happy for you.

Are you kidding me?

Look at my face.

I'm happy for you.

I love you, okay?

This is my happy face.

I can't help it.

I just- when you do stupid shit like this-- I just really wanted you to end up with someone Jewish, and that was-- You love him and-- Yes, he makes you happy, huh?

He's a nice kid.

You're killing me.

All right.

-Thank you, Mutel.

-No Christmas, okay?

-No, definitely not.

God forbid.

-Good boy.

-Brian?

Brian, let's go.

We're leaving.

Bri: I was like, he's going to throw the ball, but he did not.

He ran down the thing.

Touchdown, crowd went nuts, Grandpa.

Brock Purdy.

-Watch your step.

I've got this.

You okay?

-I'm all right.

-All right.

I'll meet you at the car, okay?

-[?]

pudding?

-Isn't that leavened food?

-Your boyfriend's actually pretty chill.

-Fuck off, dude.