VOICEOVER (VO): Some of the nation's favorite celebrities... Why have I got such expensive taste?

VO: One antiques expert each.

Oh!

Now that is what I call a good shopping experience.

Oh yeah.

VO: And one big challenge - who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices?

Answers on a postcard.

Oh!

VO: And auction for a big profit, further down the road?

I would like to try on the wares.

VO: Who will spot the good investments?

Who will listen to advice?

Do you like it?

No, I think it's horrible.

VO: And who will be first to say "Don't you know who I am?!"

Well done, us.

VO: Time put your pedal to the metal.

This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

VO: Yeah!

VO: Today's fight for the antique crown begins in the ceremonial county of Hampshire.

A new pair of TV faves, sporting £400 each, enter the sphere of oddities and curiosity.

They're no strangers to an auction it's telly presenters Lucy Alexander and Martin Roberts.

LUCY: Wow.

I am so excited.

LUCY: That is a beautiful baby.

MARTIN: This is my dream car.

LUCY: Really?

Yeah, it is an MG TF, probably from about 1950s.

LUCY: OK, listen, can we stop the showing off already?

MARTIN: I am not showing off.

LUCY: Can you drive it?

MARTIN: Do you know what?

I got the key.

LUCY: I hope you have got the picnic rug and lashings of ginger ale in the boot.

Strapped on the back, darling.

LUCY: Love it.

MARTIN: Right, tally ho.

VO: Martin's right, they're off in this 1954 MG TF.

It is pre-seatbelt era which is why they are not wearing any.

And isn't it a British beauty eh?

Pip pip.

LUCY: So what is the oldest thing you've got in your house?

The oldest thing I have got is a dinosaur fossil, lots of old-fashioned scientific equipment, MARTIN: some art, I've got...

The oldest thing I have got in my house is the photograph of you hanging on my wall.

MARTIN: That's really sweet of you to say.

MARTIN: Thanks, darling.

LUCY: (LAUGHS) VO: This double act began their on-screen relationship a decade ago on the BBC's hugely successful 'Homes Under The Hammer'.

There are peaches, but there are also rotten apples.

Absolutely.

VO: For Lucy it all began by studying drama and dance in her youth.

A stint at Nickelodeon as a children's presenter was just the thing to set her up for a long and prosperous career working with Martin Roberts.

Even I couldn't fit all my shoes and handbags in there.

LUCY: I am rather nervous because you know I have got to win.

I've promised my kids.

MARTIN: That is very sad, cuz even for your children, I'm not going to let you win.

VO: Ready for the clash is Martin Roberts, his career began on BBC Merseyside radio in the 80's before hitting our screens as a travel presenter.

MARTIN: Looks like the front is about to fall off the house to me.

VO: For the last 10 years he's been an expert in all things property, alongside Lucy, in 'Homes Under The Hammer'.

Mirror mirror on the table, tell me what this will fetch at auction if you are able.

LUCY: I wonder what the experts will be like.

If there is somebody with facial hair, I'll have him.

Why?

I don't know, I quite like facial hair.

A good antiques expert should have facial hair.

LUCY: That's what I think!

VO: Well, one of them does.

JAMES BRAXTON (JB): Antiques road show.

JAMES LEWIS (JL): Oh Thursday, we've missed it.

VO: And expert number one is the spruce James Lewis.

I was thinking around 45/50 quid.

That's very cheeky.

I know.

That is very cheeky.

JL: I know, I know.

VO: This cheeky chappy's been antique crazy man and boy, buying and bidding from the age of six, no less.

JL: You know it's summer, do you know how you know it is summer?

JB: How?

Because the people of Portsmouth are half-naked.

Excellent get in there half-naked people.

VO: Highly qualified for the job of admiring the view is surveyor James Braxton.

JB: How much have you got on this fellow?

About 50 or something?

You haven't come for a deal, you've come for a... You've come to have a row.

VO: A sophisticated bon viveur, he loves fine wine and fine food just as much fine art and furniture.

JL: Have you got any ideas of who you'd like to go with?

JB: Why don't I go for the girl?

You normally go with the guys.

I normally go with the guys, why don't we do a swap?

VO: I think James Braxton's been doing his homework.

Cutting a fine path to the rendezvous, the experts are in a 1980's model Mercedes SL and they're still admiring the birds.

JB: Got some fabulous birds, got so many woodpeckers.

JL: Oh lovely!

Have you got green woodpeckers?

JB: Green ones, lots of greens, lots of black and reds.

Lots of thrushes, lots of blackbirds.

JL: Lovely.

JB: Robins.

VO: Appropriately this battle for antique excellence starts in Hampshire, the home of the British Army and Royal Navy, but finishes 218 miles away at auction in the cathedral city of Lincoln.

VO: First stop is the historic naval port of Portsmouth.

LUCY: Hey hey!

Hi guys.

MARTIN: Woo hoo.

LUCY: Hi.

JB: James.

Lovely to meet you, I'm Lucy.

JL: Very good to meet you, James.

JB: Now what about antiques, you are big homes people...

I personally love antiques, and I have got a house that is full of an eclectic mix of just everything that I have collected over the years.

And I don't have any antiques in my house whatsoever.

No!

I am a modern, contemporary person.

Lucy, I am going to have to teach you the way of antiques today.

Are you?

James, show me the light.

Right, come on, which car are we taking?

No choice guys, I'm keeping the MG.

I think you will find, you're not.

LUCY: Wahey!

Woo hoo.

LUCY: Goodbye TV husband, I've got a new one now.

You're so fickle.

LUCY: Bye!

The winners are off.

Woo!

VO: Lucy's traded in her old model for a new one, already.

JL: Every time you step into one of your houses, you are going, "Oh look at the period features, look at the doors, the original paneling."

MARTIN: Yeah, yeah.

JL: So does that mean that you are a passionate furniture collector as well?

MARTIN: Em... not so m...

I love old furniture, whether I'd be able to spot a Chipperfield...Chippendale.

Chippendale!

VO: Well, you wouldn't want to get those two mixed up.

MARTIN: You know as much as I love Lucy, MARTIN: we've got to beat her.

JL: (LAUGHS) MARTIN: No we have!

VO: Fierce competition between our celebs then - this is going to be a lot of fun.

VO: The chaps' treasure hunt begins in a historic naval storehouse.

Martin's already inside but James, keen to find a fresh bargain, is chatting to a dealer who's just dropped off a ship's lamp in the shop.

JL: How much is that?

Here and now £120.

It is a big one.

JL: Lovely, OK. JL: We'll have a wander but thank you very much, thank you.

VO: Now he's got the scoop it's time to jump aboard the good ship rummage for plunder and lee-ho!

MARTIN: Where do we start then?

JL: It's just a matter of looking at almost everything and just finding the one thing that is priced lower than it's worth.

VO: He's like a zen master.

Ready to splice the mainbrace is Andrew.

MARTIN: Look at this, I love this clock - why isn't this for sale?

Because it is a fake.

MARTIN: Oh, it is a fake is it?

ANDREW: It's a fake, and I just leave it there to remind myself to be a bit more cautious next time.

MARTIN: Really?

That's why it's not for sale, I only sell originals.

VO: So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

MARTIN: What about this?

VO: Martin's beady eye has alighted on a signed menu from a dinner that would have had the paparazzi in a frenzy back in their day.

MARTIN: Look at this though, this is the sort of thing I really love.

This is the Lady Taverners celebratory Italian evening but look at the people who were there: Robert Powell, Bill Tidy, Willie Rushden, Frazer Hines, Nicolas Parsons... VO: OK frenzy was perhaps an exaggeration.

That has got to be worth something?

Let's have a look at that.

I mean that, how do you price that?

You get the right person in the room who is like a Willie Rushton fan.

JL: Nicholas Parsons signed it.

VO: All the greats, eh!

25 quid.

1988.

JL: I think we've got a chance with that, because they are fairly modern signatures, the autograph is far more sought after when the person dies.

I once had somebody ask me, or their father said, "go get his autograph, it'll be worth something when he's dead."

Yeah, exactly.

That's what they said to me!

VO: Yeah, a bit drastic, but this is for charity.

VO: They're searching on, taking the menu with them.

VO: Shopkeeper Andrew, keen to help, has something to show the boys.

He recently bought a collection of maritime artist, William Wyllie's sketches and watercolors at Christie's.

MARTIN: So what is the appeal of Wyllie?

Well he has a strong Portsmouth connection, he lived here for about the last 30 years of his life.

And it just ingrained on him basically.

VO: Wyllie is best known for his maritime-themed paintings and etchings, which sometimes fetch thousands.

These aren't classic Wyllie and the auction is in Lincoln where maritime is unlikely to be as popular, so they could be taking a risk here.

ANDREW: They made him do theatrical studies at the beginning so you have got a lot of bizarre creatures and so forth, which you wouldn't see in his normal work.

MARTIN: Like this long-nosed whatever it is.

JL: That is not a great commercial piece, a William Wyllie collector will not go for that.

Yeah, you want something classic and maritime.

JL: Yeah, but, no, but - it still has the interest of it being Wyllie.

VO: Andrew's put £20 on the Wyllie sketch but Martin's keen to do some negotiating and has an offer in mind for it, plus the celebrity menu, which is priced at £25.

JL: What could that be?

ANDREW: Oh, I'll do it for 20.

Would you do the two for 30?

Yeah, that's fine.

I would have said two for 20.

ANDREW: No... MARTIN: Would you?!

How about two for 25?

Would you do that?

ANDREW: Two for £25.

Go on.

JL: Yeah?

OK. VO: James's bare-faced cheek has saved them a fiver and they've started their treasure trove for auction.

Bravo chaps.

MARTIN: Marvelous, thank you.

ANDREW: Cheers.

JL: Thank you very much.

ANDREW: You're welcome.

VO: With so much to choose from, the browsing continues.

VO: James is still hoping to find the ship's lamp dropped off by the dealer he met outside.

MARTIN: I'm desperate to sort of buy something vaguely maritime.

JL: Look at that!

MARTIN: A lighthouse binnacle.

JL: The guy outside... MARTIN: Yes?

120 quid he said he could do that for, I'm sure.

MARTIN: Who?

JL: Just outside here... MARTIN: Right?

There was a guy with a bundle of weapons.

That I met...

What?!

Yeah, he was leaving.

Did you call the police?

JL: No, it was antique weapons.

MARTIN: OK. And I said, "what are you doing?"

And he said "I have just done a big deal, but I've just put something in there that you might like".

And he said "it is a great big steel binnacle".

He said 120 quid but that is 380.

JL: It is different.

Do you like it though?

MARTIN: It is a bit rusty, a bit of Hammerite on there.

JL: I know.

So is somebody really gonna buy that?

Cuz it's 120, it is a big slice of our budget.

JL: It is, isn't it?

VO: Time to get the mystery weapon- wielding man on the phone and straighten out the price.

Right, I've spoken to the owner, he says fine.

VO: Nicely done.

It's decision time.

A little bit of, what's the word, serendipity, you genuinely happened to bump into that bloke... Who you accosted, because he had a lot of weapons.

And you happen, in this maze of a place, to have found the exact bit.

JL: Yeah.

Go on, shake his hand.

Thank you very much.

ANDREW: That is coming from Mike, not me.

MARTIN: Yeah yeah yeah, I love the whole story.

VO: A serendipitous deal done at £120 indeed, down from 380.

You can roll it home.

We can.

VO: They've collected three trophies for their trunk, the Wyllie sketch, a signed menu and the ship's lamp thingamajig, spending £145 of their £400 budget.

Time to get rolling.

MARTIN: Cheerio.

ANDREW: Bye bye.

JL: Bye.

VO: James and Lucy are motoring to the beach at Southsea, and Lucy's still smirking about half inching the MG. Ha!

LUCY: I am so pleased that we got this car.

JB: I know, it is great... LUCY: Because Martin was just loving it too much.

I've gotta say, I do feel a little bit guilty about trading in my telly husband for you.

JB: Telly husband.

Well, 10 years is a long time.

LUCY: We are close.

But he does go mad and buy everything, so I know he is going to get over-excited today.

Excellent.

LUCY: Cuz you know, I am very good with bartering, LUCY: I like to get a good deal.

JB: Good, good.

LUCY: But I need you to guide me.

LUCY: Shoes and handbags, Martin was joking, but that side, I do love a bit of trying on, I have to say.

JB: Now that's where your expertise lies does it?

JB: Shoes and handbags.

VO: That's a different shopping trip altogether, Lucy.

VO: James and Lucy are dropping anchor at Robert's of Southsea and the man himself is ready and waiting to deal.

Once more into the breach!

Now Robbie, how long have you been here for then?

10 years in this shop.

JB: Ten years.

In the trade, 30 years.

JB: 30 years!

ROBBIE: As a boy.

You must have started early?

Yes.

What, dad in this as well?

Dad and grandfather.

JB: There's dad, hello dad, hi.

VO: Crikey three generations of Roberts in the trade, he's not going to be a pushover.

LUCY: What do you think you have got tucked away or that you've got here... Everything.

No, come on, what is your favorite piece in this whole shop?

What do you love in here that you think... Whatever someone buys and goes out that door with.

VO: Told you!

JB: We'll have a good look round VO: Chocks away!

VO: Lucy's interest has been captured by some tin trunks.

LUCY: These are fantastic trunks, look at these... both of them.

JB: Lieutenant Colonel Buckland, see a lovely hat box.

Lovely.

JB: It's quite a nice, stylish item, that See I would use that in my home to put bits and pieces in.

JB: Yeah, yeah.

LUCY: That's fantastic.

LUCY: We should buy lots in here.

JB: I think we will.

LUCY: (LAUGHS) VO: They like the tin trunk and hat case, but they're playing it cool until they've had a look around.

Suits you madam.

JB: Lucy, what about pictures?

That picture down there has a slightly naive charm to it.

LUCY: What you call it?

ROBBIE: No, that's the Quadrant in Brighton.

VO: The Quadrant is a well- known drinking establishment, serving the thirsty of Brighton for over 150 years.

This large oil on canvas is by a Brighton artist and has a ticket price of £20.

It is slightly domestic realism, it is sort of ordinary people.

It is quite unglamorous.

It has got brightness and... LUCY: That is why I don't really like it.

JB: It has got naive charm.

JB: And come on, give me the date.

Look at those.

LUCY: '70s.

JB: '70s.

LUCY: It is, isn't it?

Look.

JB: The denim jacket, the denim jeans.

I like the fact that it is on a canvas and it has got some nice bright colors.

LUCY: I like the lady there with the pram and the flowers.

JB: Yeah.

Because I remember my mother having a pram LUCY: like that, actually.

JB: Yeah, yeah.

LUCY: I think I even was in a pram like that.

For eight quid... VO: Hello!

For eight quid you can have that.

LUCY: Can we have that for eight quid?

JB: Shake the man's hand.

Robbie, it is lovely doing business with you.

JB: That is really lovely and you're a very clever lady.

Oh great, yes.

I did a good buy.

JB: You're a very clever lady.

LUCY: Thank you, oooh, mind that light.

VO: Oh, disaster averted and the first deal done, lovely.

And they have one item of booty banked, but look out, Lucy's on a roll.

LUCY: What is that?!

ROBBIE: I think you put it in the water, suck it up... Ooooh!

So it is like a large syringe?

VO: It might look like a giant syringe, but it's actually a brass rose sprayer with no price attached.

LUCY: That's something that I could see somebody having in their house and somebody coming in and saying, "What's that?

What do you do with that?"

And you say, "Oh, well..." and you have the little story.

So I think that could be quite a fun object to have.

ROBBIE: It's quite country up in Lincoln.

Like their roses up there.

I like it... he's on it.

VO: He's a pro.

Do you think that we could add much value to something like that?

Listen, that was £8, £15 the two and then you can't lose, seven quid, alright?

You can't lose then.

Give the man a big kiss.

I'm going to do that after we have bought all the purchases.

I'm not going to kiss him yet.

He can look forward... You can look forward to that.

VO: I'm sure he will too.

So, smackers aside, they've just purchased another piece of precious plunder and they're not finished yet.

VO: Having thoroughly perused the premises, the pair are drawn back to the trunks, but things are afoot.

I wouldn't want to be in Robbie's shoes, watch out.

ROBBIE: Just sold that one to a customer, that black one.

LUCY: When?

ROBBIE: They come to the door.

LUCY: What just then?

ROBBIE: Yeah.

You took too long!

LUCY: You can't do that!

ROBBIE: I'm sorry!

Because we've got your attention, that's not allowed!

ROBBIE: There's a good trunk underneath, you can't lose... LUCY: No, I want that one.

If we can't have that trunk, what about that trunk?

JB: I like your style.

We don't want a Lieutenant Colonel, we want... (TOGETHER) a General!

LUCY: That's what we want, what we really really want.

JB: General Bunbury.

VO: Girl power.

Can we shut the door in case anyone comes in and buys it... please.

VO: They're inspecting another tin trunk with the higher ranking of General Burnaby, but they're still not convinced.

Alright, what about this trunk underneath?

This one here.

JB: That's a lovely one.

LUCY: We've got quite a lot of, um, intricate little bits and pieces going on.

LUCY: Does it come with all the bits?

JB: Do we get everything inside?

ROBBIE: No.

LUCY: Go on, best price.

ROBBIE: No bits, 20 quid and I'll chuck that one in.

And you can't lose on that.

VO: James and Lucy like the trunk and Robbie's thrown in the hat... tin for a knock-down price of £20, but they're not ready to pack up their troubles just yet.

JB: You don't think we should have the General in with this as well, Lucy?

Oh that would be lovely, a stack.

JB: A stack.

Cuz they would look nice together, wouldn't they?

VO: With a little brute strength from James.

JB: I think he's got gold coins in there.

VO: And artistic flair from Lucy... LUCY: That actually works with the black on top of the tan... JB: It does.

It is a sort of lovely tableau, you're a natural window dresser.

LUCY: It is a package, it's a package deal.

30 quid.

30 quid come on.

Now you're going to get that kiss.

Mwah.

Mwah.

VO: Whether you like it or not.

LUCY: It's the nicest day today.

I'm feeling an ice cream and a flake coming on.

VO: Go on then, you deserve it!

Make mine a 99, eh?

ROBBIE: Thank you very much.

LUCY: Lovely man.

JB: Thank you Robbie.

VO: Only £45 of their £400 budget spent and what spoils!

A selection of trunks, a brass rose sprayer and an oil painting of Brighton.

Top dealing, duo!

Oh!

Do you collect?

I do, I collect antiques.

Not so much... Oh, OK. More objets d'art, more sort of curios.

MARTIN: My biggest problem, I can't bear to get rid of things, you see.

That is going to be the problem today, is I'll find things and go "I'm not gonna sell that!"

VO: Successful antique experts are often part great detectives, part obsessive collectors and here in Portsmouth there's a collection that combines the two.

VO: Portsmouth Central Library houses arguably the largest collection of Sherlock Holmes and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle- related material in the world.

VO: Obsessively collected over a lifetime by Richard Lancelyn Green, it consists of 16,000 books, 40,000 documents and 3,000 objects.

Wow.

MARTIN: Hello.

JL: I'm James, nice to see you.

Hello, nice to meet you.

VO: Laura Weston's showing them round.

LAURA: Come with me.

VO: Richard Lancelyn Green was generally considered the world's foremost scholar on the subject of Sherlock Holmes and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

VO: Richard bequeathed his collection to Portsmouth Central Library, as it was here that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote his first Sherlock Holmes story.

LUCY: First book was 'A Study in Scarlet'.

And that's where Sherlock Holmes was born?

MARTIN: If you like, in that book.

LAURA: Yep, and it just took off from there really.

VO: The collection contains some very rare items, including original magazines in which Sherlock Holmes stories were published.

LAURA: What we have here is the Strand magazine.

Now magazines were not magazines as we know it.

They were actually books.

So, this one here dates from 1892.

VO: There are also some first edition books.

LAURA: 'The Hound of the Baskervilles'.

JL: I love the fact that it's got an advert for Fry's pure cocoa on the front of 'Hound of the Baskervilles'.

When you can't sleep at night, because you've read the book, you can have your cocoa and you'll go to sleep.

VO: Richard's fanatical collecting led him into lengthy legal wrangling to obtain personal paperwork of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's.

This is an original letter from Conan Doyle to his son, basically saying to his son, "you cannot have any more money, your allowance should be enough.

Darling daddy".

JL: Darling, oh no!

VO: On Richard's death in 2004, he'd been collecting voraciously for 40 years.

Laura's taking the chaps to the basement for a closer look at the extent of the archives.

He literally had piles and piles and piles of objects and items that he just lived with.

It is interesting because collectors are often quite strange individuals.

People now believe that the collector's gene is more in males than females.

If we have a collector's sale at the auction, for cigarette cards, postcards, coin stamps, medals, there is not a woman in the audience.

It is all men.

It is something strange about us, I'm not sure what it is.

Lots of women watching going, "that's my husband actually, why does he collect that rubbish?"

VO: Richard's death was in some ways attributed to his obsession with his collection.

He was distraught at being unable to stop the private sale of Conan Doyle papers, which he suspected the late daughter of the author had bequeathed the National Library.

VO: His behavior became erratic and he was later found by police garroted on his bed.

VO: All clues pointed to murder, but the coroner returned an open verdict and relatives claimed he took his own life in the manner of a Sherlock Holmes plot.

VO: Well well.

Another investigation complete, so it's time for our own super-sleuthing duo to continue with their search for antique supremacy.

LUCY: I am laughing inside, because we've got the picture in the boot, ha!

It is real isn't it?

LUCY: See, we've got a long- lasting friendship.

JB: Yeah, I know it's good.

LUCY: I'll bet Martin and James haven't.

JB: (LAUGHS) LUCY: We are for life, we are for life, not just for Christmas.

LUCY: Oh!

JB: Here we go.

I am excited.

Shop number two.

Will we leave the picture here?

JB: Yep, nobody is going to take it.

LUCY: Nobody's going to take it!

JB: (LAUGHS) LUCY: They're not gonna take it.

VO: The next port of call on their race for riches is Parminters Antiques and dressed and ready for the occasion is the very dapper Ian.

JB: Very good.

LUCY: You look the part.

JB: You look the part.

LUCY: You work in this shop.

It is working.

IAN: Thank you very much.

LUCY: You have got a fabulous shop here.

IAN: And we have got a dog.

LUCY: And you have got a lovely dog.

JB: ...dog.

Is he head of security?

IAN: Yes, he is.

Head of security.

VO: As he guards one painting, Lucy's spotted another.

LUCY: I noticed something over here.

Now I went straight to that as I walked in and I thought that was absolutely endearing.

JB: Yeah... LUCY: I love that.

LUCY: Look, the little kids in bed, mum and dad.

It has a certain elegance.

Some people can damn these things as being sentimental, but it is quite sweet isn't it?

LUCY: I really like that.

VO: But they've already got one painting, VO: so that one's staying put.

JB: Anyway...

I prefer that one to the print you made me buy.

VO: And you do have impeccable taste Lucy.

JB: Ian, this looks like Royal Doulton to me.

IAN: Yeah, they are Doulton.

Come on, concentrate Lucy.

Sorry, Sorry.

Sorry, I like... You know, I like to try on the wares.

VO: She doesn't half.

Debonair dealer Ian is always keen to help a lady with cash to splash.

'Ello 'ello 'ello.

We need a biggy.

We need to buy a big something...

I've got something for you.

IAN: Have a look at that clock, that came in cheap.

JB: Let's have a look.

That came in cheap?

IAN: If it comes in cheap, it can go out cheap but it's got a nice, very attractive look that would appeal to anyone I think.

VO: It's priced at £75.

I'm just going to get my glasses.

IAN: And it does actually go.

VO: Crikey James really means business.

JB: So, here we are, we've got the clock, it has got an architectural element going on.

LUCY: Yes.

JB: So you have got these Ionic columns, white onyx from the Atlas mountains above Marrakech.

And it has got a mechanism on the back, and it is nice that it strikes on a bell.

JB: Does this leave you cold, Lucy?

VO: In a word.

Ah... yeah.

It just looks a bit sort of old and like it wouldn't work though.

I know that is part and parcel of antique buying.

JB: Yeah, it is old.

Yeah but do you know what I mean?

I just think it is a little over budget for what we would want to pay for something like that.

IAN: What about 60 quid?

LUCY: I was thinking more 50 quid.

VO: You go girl!

IAN: You can have it for £50, cuz it's... LUCY: £50.00 IAN: Is that alright?

JB: £50, well done Lucy.

50 quid.

Thank you.

VO: Cor, she's a top negotiator that one.

Lucy's scored them another piece of bargain booty and there's no stopping her.

I quite like that as well actually.

JB: (EXHALES) I...

I... You don't like that.

JB: No, I like it.

Whenever I say that and you pause a long time afterwards I know you're like, 'that's not going to make any money'.

JB: No, no, no, no, it's got some age though.

VO: They're bickering like an old married couple, aren't they?

LUCY: Does this come off?

JB: Very unusual.

That's so heavy, feel that.

Feel the weight of that.

IAN: It's a real nice piece.

JB: It's a nice piece isn't it?

JB: Yeah.

LUCY: So what is it?

What metal?

IAN: It's silver plate.

LUCY: I would put that on my table and put some candles, I like that.

I am asking 100, that could be £70.

And it's...

It is a lovely thing.

VO: Hello what's going on here?

I think she's got this nailed, James.

I like that for 50 quid.

So we have got 50 and 50, 100 quid.

IAN: 50 quid, I'm not even going to haggle.

LUCY: You're too easy-going!

VO: Ha!

Lucy does it again, stashing a candelabra and an onyx clock for £100.

Their bag of swag is full and they've only spent £145.

What a triumph, eh?

JB: I like that picture.

IAN: Yeah, it is good.

CJ Fox.

LUCY: Yeah.

Let's move on... JB: (LAUGHS) Let's move on.

VO: So with their cache of curiosity mounting, it's been a good day all round and the teams can rest easy.

Night night you lot.

VO: It's a bright and shiny new day but the teams are dishing the dirt.

LUCY: So did you have a fabulous day yesterday?

MARTIN: Yeah, we had great fun.

I'm letting you into a little secret, James did choose something that I am not quite sure about.

MARTIN: Really?

So, it will be quite funny on auction day to see how much that makes.

JB: How's Martin at the old haggle?

JL: I think he's on a learning curve with the haggling but we bought three things yesterday.

Out of the three things, he picked out two of them.

Really?

Yeah.

VO: Martin did indeed pick out two quirky items, an autographed menu and a Wylie sketch.

James chose a so-called steel ship's lamp and that collection cost them £145, leaving them £255 for today.

Marvelous.

Thank you.

VO: James and Lucy bought five pieces: the Brighton painting, the rose sprayer, some tin trunks, a clock and a candelabra, also spending £145.

Now you are going to get that kiss, mwah, mwah.

VO: So they too have £255 left to spend.

JB: I am having a fabulous time with Lucy, she is great fun.

Many things started off at 100 and miraculously they got down to 50.

I think she is going to go back from this experience and look at things with very different eyes.

I really, really love antiques now.

MARTIN: My James is brilliant as well, his knowledge is unbelievable.

Isn't it amazing?

It is like anything.

MARTIN: This little bit of pottery and he goes "oh yeah that's...made in 1930 by Brian Smith".

MARTIN: It's like, what?!

VO: My James is better than your James.

MARTIN: What are these cows doing in the middle of the road?

MARTIN: Morning.

VO: Mooooove over cows.

Here we go.

LUCY: Hello boys.

Ting ting.

Ting ting, off we go.

MARTIN: Yeah, you've got no idea what you are up against here guys.

We haven't even started yet.

JB: That is so inappropriate.

JL: Hi, how are you?

LUCY: Oh, I've missed you so much.

MARTIN: Be very, very careful with that man.

MARTIN: Mwah, mwah, mwah.

Remember who your husband is!

VO: James and Martin are scooting nearly 40 miles northwest of Portsmouth through the New Forest to Burley.

VO: A picturesque little village where folklore says there once lived a dragon.

No sign of it now though.

MARTIN: Today is really important, I want to feel like we've found something really special.

JL: Yeah.

MARTIN: Like nobody else has spotted it.

MARTIN: I mean, the dream, isn't it, is to be rummaging around in a box or at the back of the shop and you find that thing.

And you almost don't want to go, "AAH!"

because it is going to give the game away.

JL: Yeah.

MARTIN: But actually that's what you feel.

MARTIN: (LAUGHS) VO: The chaps are parked up off the beaten track, they've been tipped off about an antique fair but they're having difficulty finding it.

MARTIN: Do you know where the antiques thing is?

VILLAGER: Yes, down the road, the village hall.

Village hall where?

VILLAGER: Down at the end of the road.

JL: Hello.

MARTIN: Do you know where the village hall is?

MARTIN: Burley village, it has got to be around here somewhere.

VILLAGER: Burley Village is a different place.

VO: Who said that?

MARTIN: What do you mean it is a different place, what is this?

VILLAGER: Burley.

MARTIN: Right.

VILLAGER: Down that road there is another village called Burley Village.

VO: Hello, where is that voice coming from?

So this is Burley village but not Burley Village?

VILLAGER: This is a village called Burley.

Right.

VILLAGER: Down there there's another village called Burley Village.

VO: Obviously.

So this is a village called Burley, but that is a village called Burley Village?

VILLAGER: Yes.

That is not complicated at all then.

Thanks a lot.

JL: So how far is Burley Village?

VILLAGER: Less than a mile that way.

MARTIN: And why is the sign for Burley village pointing this way?

VILLAGER: Oh, I don't know that answer.

MARTIN: Oh right.

JL: Have you ever thought you've walked into the Twilight Zone?

VO: You're the ones taking directions from a bush.

VO: Finally they find someone to point them in the right direction and ta dah!

JL: That is Burley Village hall rather than village hall... VO: Finally the bargaining can begin if they can tear themselves away from their fan club that is.

MARTIN: Hello my dear.

FAN: For me mum's Christmas card.

MARTIN: Your mum's Christmas card?

FAN: We knew it was Lovejoy.

VO: Ahem.

VO: Martin's keen to get back on track and has weeded out a little regal novelty.

MARTIN: James, this is from the coronation.

MARTIN: Very timely this year.

A paper opener thing?

VO: So the chaps are hoping to cut a deal for the letter opener with Anita.

MARTIN: What price is it?

Eight.

Eight?

Would you do it for five for us?

ANITA: No.

MARTIN: Six?

Em... seven.

Seven.

£7?

VO: Despite Anita's hard sell, the men aren't convinced and decide to continue browsing.

VO: They're not discovering the hidden riches they'd hoped for but James thinks combining a few pieces into a commemoration theme might be the answer.

JL: The paper knife that you found.

MARTIN: Yes.

JL: If we link it with this, I know it's not exciting, but it just adds something else.

JL: It's the same 'honi soit qui mal y pense'.

MARTIN: What does that mean?

JL: "Evil be to he who evil thinks".

JL: Windsor.

Same period, '53.

Go with it.

It might add a bit of something to the lot.

JL: And then we have got the model of Shakespeare's house by W.H.

Goss.

Goss was a manufacturer of this very fine, bisque porcelain.

MARTIN: I am not taking the mickey here but really?

You have got to be kidding.

In its day, that was worth 90 to 100 quid.

MARTIN: This?

JL: Yeah.

Why?

Because Goss was a very collectable factory and that's quite a rare one, but... MARTIN: I just imagine putting this on the table in front of Lucy and James and going donk... there.

VO: Small can be beautiful though.

VO: Time to get dealing with Eileen who owns the Goss piece.

It has a ticket price of £20.

JL: Would you throw that commemorative beaker in with it?

EILEEN: Yes, OK. Yeah.

So that and that.

MARTIN: Hold on, OK that is brilliant then.

JL: Thank you.

JL: Come on then, paper knife, let's have a go.

VO: Now if you can get the letter opener for less than £7, you've got the beginnings of a commemorative collection.

JL: Would you do it at a fiver?

So we can have that and that for £10?

MARTIN: You are a wonderful lady.

JL: Thank you so much.

MARTIN: That is really kind, thank you.

MARTIN: Well all I'd say is, it wasn't quite what I was anticipating.

MARTIN: But at least we got something.

VO: You should have traded your autograph.

It'll be worth a fortune one day, remember?

VO: The boys are leaving Burley Village hall or is that the village hall in Burley?

They've acquired another clutch of curios for auction.

(ENGINE RUMBLES) JB: So Lucy, are you feeling... LUCY: Hair blowing in the bre...

I am just trying to see through the mop, look, look!

LUCY: Hello darling.

JB: Do the Grace Kelly.

LUCY: Shall I do the look?

LUCY: Hold on a minute, it's gone wrong.

VO: Not very graceful.

LUCY: Oh no, I can't see a thing.

Seriously.

(LAUGHS) MUSIC: "Bad Girl" by Beatrice # Who's a bad girl now?

Who's a bad girl now?

# VO: James and Lucy uncovered plenty of hidden treasure yesterday and today they're on yet another voyage of discovery, to Beaulieu in the New Forest.

JB: Look at this.

LUCY: Look at the ponies.

LUCY: I just love the way all the horses roam freely, there's donkeys everywhere.

JB: Yeah.

Oh look, this house looks amazing.

JB: So how long have you worked on Homes Under the Hammer?

LUCY: For 10 years.

JB: Does anybody ever tire of property?

LUCY: Weirdly no, even when property dipped, people were still really interested in watching Homes Under the Hammer because they wanted to see how people were buying, what they were doing, what bargains they were getting.

LUCY: Because some of the properties were flying out.

JB: Martin is one of those lovely people who you can read, he is like a little open book, isn't he?

He really is and he will sulk.

If he likes my candelabra a little bit more that whatever he's bought, it will show on his face.

JB: Oh, really?

LUCY: Yeah.

JB: We are nearly there.

I don't know whether we are going to make the last 100 yards, but we will give it a go.

JB: If we're downhill, we have got a chance.

(ENGINE RUMBLES) VO: They're spluttering their way to the Beaulieu estate to visit a beautiful home on a property which has been in the Montagu family since 1538.

VO: Unfortunately for Lucy it's definitely not under the hammer.

VO: The estate holds one of the best kept secrets ever.

Who'd have thought this sleepy, scenic Hampshire village was once a base for sabotage and subversion.

JB: Isn't it glorious?

Let's get inside.

LUCY: Let's go on an adventure.

VO: During World War II, Beaulieu was the finishing school for the SOE, Churchill's Special Operations Executive; a plucky bunch of volunteers employed to sabotage the German war effort.

VO: Margaret Rowles has the history of these unsung heroes.

JB: Secret agents.

LUCY: Do we look like them?

MARGARET: Too noisy.

LUCY: So lovely to meet you Margaret, I'm Lucy.

MARGARET: Hello Lucy.

JB: Hello, James.

MARGARET: Hello James.

VO: Over 3000 agents passed through Beaulieu, coming from all over Europe, where they'd learn skills such as cryptography, navigation and how to survive off the land.

VO: Over three weeks, they finished their training here, they were given new identities and final instructions, all in utter secrecy.

LUCY: So, why Beaulieu?

Well, it was quite a remote part of the country, and one of the administrators who was brought into help set up the SOE, actually lived in the village.

MARGARET: And he knew that there were a lot of large houses on the estate that would be absolutely perfect to house these agents.

It was known as the 'hush hush operation' here.

And nobody in the village... or the Montagu family had any idea.

LUCY: Really?

MARGARET: No.

That is incredible, that is the best kept secret ever.

MARGARET: People during the war, they do say they were told not to say anything, didn't need to know, they weren't told, they didn't ask.

VO: It was a massive secret to keep, with some 175 staff and instructors running the operation.

MARGARET: They were known as "a shoal of pretty odd fish".

You had some very intelligent, clever people who taught things like coding and cyphers and then at the other end of the spectrum, you had people like Nobby Clark, who was actually a gamekeeper on the Sandringham estate.

And he taught people how to live off the land and how to skin a rabbit.

The real basics to keeping themselves alive.

MARGARET: There was another rather handsome gentleman called Captain Paul Dane and he taught things like secret inks and codes and he went on to become quite a famous scriptwriter in Hollywood.

LUCY: Really?

MARGARET: Some of his screenplays included Goldfinger, the Bond film.

VO: Once trained, agents were parachuted into occupied Europe.

Their main task was to help resistance groups become more professional as working units, efficient in sabotage and intelligence gathering.

VO: To help agents with their dangerous job while remaining undetected, all manner of ingenious pieces of equipment were thought up by a very clever chap called Charles Fraser Smith.

MARGARET: He was the Q of his day, he was the Mr Fix it.

He might get a phone call that said, "We want 600 cameras, but they have got to be very, very small."

MARGARET: He was constantly thinking of ways in which he could conceal useful things for the agents so that they could have them with them and if they were caught, it wouldn't be noticed that it wasn't actually a real hair brush, or that there is a compass at the end of a pen, or something hidden in a domino.

Ian Fleming, who wrote all the James Bond books, he was in naval intelligence during the Second World War.

And it is commonly believed that he got a lot of his ideas for James Bond's gadgets from the original Q, JB: Really?

MARGARET: Mr Charles Fraser Smith.

VO: World War II was the first time women were recruited into strategic positions of danger in a war situation.

MARGARET: They were incredibly brave, they could have walked away at any time yet they volunteered to do this really really dangerous work knowing that they might not come home again.

VO: Many of the women became radio operators, one of the most dangerous jobs in the SOE, with the added risk of carrying a very obvious piece of equipment with them.

LUCY: It looks very heavy.

You've got, you've hit the nail on the head Lucy.

MARGARET: It was such a dangerous occupation to have because all the time that you were sending messages back to England, there was a chance the Germans had managed to... LUCY: Track you.

MARGARET: Track you and pick up your signal.

So the average lifespan of a wireless operator was actually six weeks.

LUCY: Really?

JB: Really?

Yes.

Wow.

MARGARET: Just six weeks.

That is unbelievable and they would have known this?

MARGARET: Yes, they weren't under any illusion.

MARGARET: One that a lot of people will have heard of Violette Szabo, she completed one very successful mission and she was offered the opportunity to stand down because she had a young daughter, but she chose to go back.

Unfortunately, damaged her ankle landing from her parachute jump and the Germans were waiting for them, she couldn't get away.

LUCY: So sad, this is making me feel very sad.

I mean, how tough were these women?

MARGARET: They were amazing.

LUCY: How tough were they to put themselves in these positions?

MARGARET: They really did.

Margaret, I have thoroughly enjoyed these stories.

It's just been amazing meeting you.

LUCY: Thank you so much.

MARGARET: You are very welcome.

LUCY: It's been a real pleasure.

VO: With one final piece of plunder left to procure, it's James and Martin's last shop - The Magpie's Nest overflowing with the shiny stuff.

VO: James's attention has been caught by a creepy crawly beastie of a brooch with no price on it.

JL: I like that.

It is nine carat, gold's at an all time high.

JL: Probably 1930s.

Generally insect and that type of brooches are actually very very fashionable at the moment.

MARTIN: Do you reckon these are real stones?

DEALER: That's amber and it's got a peridot... JL: A peridot, it's unusual... MARTIN: A what?

JL: A peridot, like a citrine.

JL: It's amber which is a resin, basically a tree resin.

MARTIN: That's the thing you get mosquitoes in.

JL: That's it.

You get dinosaurs off them.

VO: This is not Jurassic Park.

JL: And if you get a mosquito in one, it is worth a fortune, it's worth a lot more.

DEALER: It has just gone up.

But there isn't a mosquito.

There is no mosquito in it.

VO: More's the pity!

JL: What could the best on that be?

DEALER: 55, could do that for 40 for you.

Permission to make an offer?

Yes sir.

30?

35?

MARTIN: 30 would make a big difference to us.

Please?

You drive a hard bargain.

DEALER: Go on then.

JL: Shake the lady's hand, you have got a deal.

MARTIN: Thank you very much, lovely.

VO: Caught in a web of delight with the brooch.

Martin fancies a little box to present it in too.

MARTIN: I want to make it look as posh as possible.

JL: What he is asking for is a 1905... MARTIN: Mahogany inlay.

JL: Faberge box.

MARTIN: Can we be really cheeky?

VO: Probably.

That's more like it, look.

That's a necklace box.

It doesn't matter!

MARTIN: Look shh, how beautiful is that?

JL: Look, look.

VO: Oh, just pick a box already!

VO: There's one sure way of getting them out of the shop... MARTIN: Now that is what I call a good shopping experience.

JL: Oh yeah.

(LAUGHS) VO: Plus they've amassed a super stash of treasures, spending only £195 of their £400 budget.

VO: It's time for our kings and queens of curiosity to unveil their secret stashes.

JL: Go on.

Let's see what will reveal.

JB: Do you like our trendy picture?

MARTIN: Well, sort of.

LUCY: What do you mean sort of?

Do you like it or not like it?

No, it's great.

They produce a lot in the Far East these days.

JB: That is stylish.

JB: It's just awful.

LUCY: How much?

MARTIN: 30 quid?

Would you give 30 quid for that?

Yeah, well, no.

JL: No.

LUCY: OK, £8.

Yeah, you can paint over it.

JL: It's cheaper than wallpaper that.

JB: That is on trend.

JL: On trend?

VO: It's on something.

(CLOCK CHIMES) VO: Saved by the bell.

JB: How prophetic, it worked.

LUCY: James, put it there.

JB: White onyx, from the Atlas mountains.

JL: £50 for that.

LUCY: Come on.

JL: That's alright.

LUCY: Serious bargains.

MARTIN: Is that silver plated?

LUCY: It's amazing, yes.

JB: Silver plated.

JL: It has lost its shade.

It should have big storm shades on the outside ones, but still nice.

MARTIN: Right.

LUCY: Very very heavy.

LUCY: That was quite funny, it started off at 100 and James kind of just did that and I went £50 and he went for it.

Bargain.

LUCY: Come on then, let's have a look.

JB: Come on boys, come on.

JL: (FANFARE NOISE) JB: A mighty ball.

LUCY: Oh my God.

Is that how much you paid for it?

MARTIN: No.

LUCY: 380 quid?

MARTIN: No, that was the starting price.

A lighthouse binnacle.

JL: It's probably off a sailing ship from the 19th century, not a lighthouse, we think.

JL: Because a lighthouse wouldn't need to be gimbal, because a lighthouse is stationary.

VO: Do you know, he's brilliant that boy.

Put your candle in there.

JB: Two candles in there.

I like that, actually.

JL: And you can imagine this out of Pirates of the Caribbean, can't you?

You can.

You can.

JL: 120 LUCY: Oh.

JL: It's a weird thing.

JB: It is a weird thing.

JL: This is from the private collection, this is the artist's studio of William Lionel Wylie, who was well known as... JB: He was a marine artist.

JL: A marine artist.

JL: And this came from Portsmouth dock yard.

LUCY: Oh.

JL: And a Wylie engraving makes 1000 quid sometimes.

How much did you pay for that?

JL: How much do you think?

JB: Around 200?

150?

JL: The pen and ink was a fiver, and we bought a print in a frame for another fiver and we put that in there in the pub car park.

LUCY: Oh so you have created... JL: A tenner.

LUCY: You created that.

JB: A tenner.

JL: I just thought of you guys.

LUCY: It's a 'Homes Under the Hammer' house.

JL: It's a 'Homes Under the Hammer', you've got William Shakespeare's home under the hammer now.

JL: But the thing we are most pleased with... LUCY: Is the brooch.

JL: Nine carat gold, solid gold.

LUCY: (GASPS) Solid gold.

With an amber there and a... what was it?

JL: Peridot.

I think that should make 100.

Really?

JL: We paid 30.

LUCY: OK. JB: Double your money.

MARTIN: (LAUGHS) JL: So, there we go.

JB: Good luck.

LUCY: Well done.

MARTIN: Good luck to us.

MARTIN: (LAUGHS) VO: A little bit cocky Martin.

VO: It's all smiles and back slapping while they're in each others company but what do they really think about each other's lots.

JL: James began, "I'm not worried.

It's all a load of junk, ours is better."

I am a little bit worried that you look a bit worried.

No, I just... it was quite an unusual selection, that sort of gimbaled affair.

LUCY: And the swinging light, I did instantly go, wow, I like that.

MARTIN: I'm not jealous at all of anything they have got.

JL: Picture?

MARTIN: Picture's cheap, it was the sort of thing you would see on the high street.

JL: The clock?

MARITN: The clock's horrible.

JL: Horrible.

I think we've got the better lot, I think we are going to win.

If there is any justice in the world, we are going to win.

Oh yeah, exactly.

Is there justice in the world?

No.

(LAUGHS) VO: Everything goes under the hammer, including the tiny house, at auction so off we go.

VO: The treasure troops are pushing around 200 miles north east to Lincoln.

VO: Lincoln's cathedral is a fine example of English Gothic architecture.

VO: The city sits on the River Witham.

MARTIN: This is the big one.

The day when you have to face defeat.

I don't think so.

LUCY: Feeling pretty confident.

Enjoy this moment.

Do you really think you're going to win?

Yes.

Stop it.

MARTIN: My only concern is... (GEARS CRUNCH) (ENGINE RUMBLES) Is that you've forgotten how to drive all of a sudden.

VO: Cor, I hope they make it!

JB: I love the picture I bought.

You don't love that picture.

I do.

JB: It has got 70s written all over it.

It has that lovely integrity of time.

Integrity of time, what are you talking about?

JB: It was a halcyon time, of beards, flares and platform shoes.

I don't remember it, I'm too young.

JL: Are you sure this is the road the auction room's on?

VO: Unique Auctions is a very busy auction house indeed, in the hotbed of antiques that is Lincolnshire.

JL: Hello, hello.

LUCY: Hello.

James!

MARTIN: Good to see you.

You feeling... MARTIN: We would actually say it's going to be a close call, but shall we go inside because it looks like the weather is not with us.

JB: Here we go, here we go.

And £30 and five.

VO: Today's master of ceremonies is Terry Woodcock.

Well done 17.

TERRY: The tin trunks are the most saleable thing, they're are the ones I have the most confidence in today.

TERRY: The spray pump, that will struggle because we normally sell those in big boxes.

TERRY: With the Wylie sketch, a very very rare sketch, a very very good investment picture.

It could be £100, it could be £200.

VO: Our shop smart pair Lucy and James only spent £145 of their 400 budget on five lots.

LUCY: Oh!

Mind that light.

VO: Martin and James forked out a smidgen more, spending £200 of their 400.

They also have five lots.

Now that is what I call a good shopping experience.

JL: Oh yes.

VO: Lucy and Martin have seen their fair share of auctions, but usually there's more than £400 at stake.

LUCY: People aren't spending tens of thousands of thousands on thousands of pounds which they normally do, which I normally do at a property auction.

There is still a buzz in the room though, isn't there.

LUCY: Yeah, yes.

MARTIN: It's quite exciting.

It's a calmer buzz.

VO: Let's hope the calm buzz turns to a mild hum of excitement for James and Lucy's rose sprayer, up first.

£7, it has got to make over seven.

It won't make five.

TERRY: Who will start me at £20?

Who will start me at £10 then?

TERRY: Come on, surely?

10, five I have got, five, five, six, six, at six I have got at £6.

Seven fresh bid, eight I've got.

Nine I've got.

At £9, you'll regret it when you do the garden.

TERRY: 10 I have got there.

JB: Well done.

LUCY: Yes.

TERRY: ..when you have got the garden to do.

TERRY: 11 I've got the lady here.

£11... MARTIN: It's not exactly rocketing, is it?

TERRY: ..at £11, going at £11.

(GAVEL) LUCY: They didn't give it away.

I told you it was rubbish.

JB: Slow, but sure.

VO: Not a terribly promising start for James and Lucy but it's still all to play for.

VO: Hoping to start a bidding frenzy with the £5 Wylie picture and £5 frame, it's Martin and James's turn.

And it is original, as opposed to a print.

JB: In inverted commas.

What do you mean inverted commas?

It's got no signature.

It doesn't matter.

It came from his studio.

TERRY: Sir Lionel Wylie, we have the provenance as well, it was sold by Christie's in 2010.

Smoke and mirrors.

Who will start me at £100?

Who will start me at 50 then?

TERRY: I'll take it, 55?

60.

Five.

Eh?

Some people are buying it.

TERRY: 70.

75 fresh bid.

80.

85.

JB: How much did you pay for it?

MARTIN: 10.

TERRY: 100.

At 100.

At 100 I've got.

110.

120.

I don't believe it.

TERRY: Out.

120 in the room here.

TERRY: It's still cheap LUCY: I am stunned.

TERRY: I'm selling it in the room at 120.

(GAVEL) JL: Yes!

MARTIN: Yes!

I am shocked.

VO: The Wylie sketch has drawn them a healthy lead.

LUCY: 'Scuse me, did I get the wrong James?

MARTIN: You know you did.

JB: No you didn't.

Of course... VO: Lucy and James are hoping for more than a flicker of interest from the crowd with their silver plated candelabra.

Look he's getting his jacket off.

VO: He could sell it too if they get stuck.

At 25 I've got.

30, 35, 40, 45, 50 fresh bid.

JB: Go on.

LUCY: C'mon, c'mon.

TERRY: 55, 60 fresh bid.

LUCY: Yes.

TERRY: At £60, at 60 you are all out?

At £60 and selling at 60... (GAVEL) LUCY: Oh.

Profit.

VO: Their hope of a large profit is snuffed out.

Another disappointment.

JB: Could have been a lot worse.

VO: Can Martin and James continue creeping ahead with little incy wincy here?

MARTIN: I love this brooch.

If somebody else buys it... LUCY: You're going to buy it off them?

You're not allowed, I've had that chat.

I've already had that chat, because I want to buy it.

LUCY: I think it's beautiful.

TERRY: Who will start me at £70?

30 then?

30 I've got, £30 and 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60.

JB: Oh well done.

60.

65, fresh bid 70.

TERRY: I've got 70 in the corner, you all done at £70?

No, it's worth more than that, c'mon, no.

TERRY: Finished?

(GAVEL) TERRY: 70 it is.

Thank you.

JB: That's still very good.

VO: They more than doubled their money on the spider brooch stretching them well into the lead.

Look at these boys, they are never satisfied are they?

VO: Will the clock chime success for James and Lucy?

It's time they got into the game.

MARTIN: The clock is horrible.

TERRY: They used to make £300-400.

I'm starting this one with me at 70 and now looking for 80.

JL: 80?

TERRY: 90.

100, 110.

LUCY: Get in.

JB: Go on!

TERRY: 115, 120.

TERRY: At 125.

JB: Keep going.

TERRY: Fresh bid.

130, 140, at 140, 140 it is.

LUCY: Come on.

TERRY: At £140 are you all done?

Selling at 140.

(GAVEL) TERRY: 140 it is.

JL: Well done.

(LAUGHS) LUCY: Dong!

VO: Ding dong eh?

Now we've got a real competition on our hands.

MARTIN: There is no accounting for taste.

Yeah ugly from behind, ugly from behind?

Yeah, well.

VO: Who's ugly from behind?

LUCY: 50 quid!

VO: It's Martin and James's lamp up next.

Will it float the crowd's boat or will it have them all at sea?

I'm excited about this next one.

I'm excited to see it go down.

MARTIN: They did put it on the front cover of their auction catalogue.

LUCY: (GASPS) But Martin, that's the first time you've ever got front cover.

MARTIN: Thank you very much.

Who'll start me at £100?

Who'll start me at 50 then?

TERRY: Who'll start me at 30 then?

JL: What?!

TERRY: 30 I have there, at £30, £40, £40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100, 110, 120, at 130, TERRY: I'm looking for 140 now.

(GAVEL) TERRY: £130 it is.

JL: (SIGHS) VO: A tiny profit which keeps them slightly in front, but hold onto your hats... VO: It's the 70's Brighton painting next.

Can James prove them all wrong and cash in on the canvas?

My daughter's are better than that.

Stuck on the fridge.

Can we just...

There it is, a beautiful picture there, I personally like it.

I personally... JB: I'm with you, Terry.

LUCY: I am with you.

Who will start me at £20?

TERRY: 15, 20, 25, 30.

This is a cheap, cheap picture.

That's cuz it's rubbish.

JL: (LAUGHS) 34, thank you.

Somebody knows taste.

JB: Well done.

At 38, 42... JB: Keep going sir.

TERRY: 44, at 46, at 48, at 48.

TERRY: At £48.

(GAVEL) TERRY: 48 it is, thank you.

LUCY: Yes!

VO: Cor, one in the eye for the doubters, and that includes you Lucy!

VO: There's not much between them now.

JL: That is insane.

LUCY: That's amazing.

Well done, and that was you.

JL: That is bonkers, who did that?

VO: Bonkers or brilliant?

Next is Martin and James's celebrity signed menu.

And on the back it's signed by Elvis Presley, by Gandhi... LUCY: By Martin Roberts.

JB: Churchill.

..Muhammad Ali.

I'm going to start me at 20.

JL: What?

MARTIN: C'mon.

TERRY: What (LAUGHS) 22 I have got, 24.

26, 28, and 30, 32, 34, 36, 40, 44... MARTIN: This is great.

JB: Ah, agony.

TERRY: 46, 46, if you are all done?

(GAVEL) (APPLAUSE) Hey, hang on, where's mine?

JL: Well done.

Thank you.

VO: A tidy profit for the chaps.

Only two more items to go, so anything could happen.

VO: And Lucy and James's trunks are the most saleable items here according to Terry.

LUCY: Lovely.

TERRY: There it is.

Who'll start me at £50?

MARTIN: No!

Come on, at 30, I will take 30, five and 40, and 45 and 55, and 65, and 75... JL: What?!

TERRY: And 80, and 85, at 85, and selling at £85.

(GAVEL) TERRY: £85 it is.

MARTIN: What?!

LUCY: Yay!

VO: The tin trunks triumphed and there's literally only a few pounds between them.

Well done you two.

JB: Hey boys, it's all on the Goss now.

VO: Martin and James's final hope is their commemorative collection.

VO: Could this be their crowning glory?

MARTIN: I knew you would take the mickey out of me for my house, but it is the cheapest house we've ever sold on Homes Under the Hammer isn't it?

Who'll start me at £30, who'll start me at £20?

JB: 10.

10.

£10 then?

JL: Oh no.

MARTIN: No.

MARTIN: Come on!

JB: Five.

TERRY: £5 then?

Oh no!

TERRY: I've got £2 bid, and I have a £3 bid at the back.

You are having a laugh.

£8, £10, £11 I have here.

MARTIN: This is really bad.

TERRY: It is Goss after all.

MARTIN: We need 20.

We need 20.

14, 16, 17 I have got.

TERRY: At 17 at the back, at 17 selling.

(GAVEL) Well done, 17.

How could we possibly be let down in the end by a house at the auction?

That's just ironic.

VO: Ha!

The commemorative lot sealed Martin and James' fate.

It will only serve as a memory they'd rather forget.

Let's go and console ourselves.

LUCY: Go and have a little add up our sums.

VO: They haven't done the maths, but we have.

The celebs each had £400... VO: Martin and James cashed in on four out of five of their items.

After auction costs they made a profit of £114.06, so despite losing, they finish with a healthy £514.06.

VO: Winning by a nose are Lucy and James, who racked up cash on all their lots and after costs made a profit of £137.08, making their final total £537.08.

Well done.

VO: All profits large and small go to Children In Need.

MUSIC: "Bad Girl" by Beatrice # Who's a bad girl now?

Who's a bad girl now?

# MARTIN: Anyway, it's been great fun.

JB: Great fun, really great fun.

Thank you for all that expert advice.

Parting is sad.

Come on then.

Bye guys.

Well done, it was brilliant.

JL: Bye bye.

Well done you.

JB: I think somebody forgot to put the roof on.

JL: I'm feeling a wet bottom.

VO: Nobody likes a soggy bottom, but it's a small price to pay for victory.

LUCY: That was so much fun, wasn't that brilliant?

My other husband gave me superb advice, which was spot on.

LUCY: Don't get jealous.

MARTIN: He took my woman and he took my car!

LUCY: Oh well I'm back again, here I am.

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